


Gods of Tevinter

by RangerGiselle



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood Magic, Dragons, F/M, Grey Wardens, Mages (Dragon Age), Old Gods (Dragon Age), Romance, Tevinter Imperium, The Blight (Dragon Age), The Calling, The Taint, The Veil (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 21:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 74
Words: 182,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12442188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerGiselle/pseuds/RangerGiselle
Summary: The true gods of Tevinter may have been forgotten, their stories lost to the ages, but they still remember the wrongs the humans enacted against them.  When the Inquisition starts going out of their way to kill dragons, Ferox, the second eldest and goddess of primal magic, takes notice.  She must stop the Inquisition's dragon hunting, or risk seeing the end of Thedas as she knows it.Credits:  I'd like to thank my wonderful beta on this story, the amazing JayRain here on AO3.  Thank you for helping keep me less tense about my tenses :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will use some canon, but I intend to break it all over the place. My sandbox, my toys. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I have been!

Introduction:

 

The Chant of Light says that the Maker abandoned his children, the humans of Thedas. Well, what did they expect him to do after they broke his heart? My brother always was a bit sensitive. At least he gets recognition, although they do not remember his real name and call him by a false one. The rest of us are all but forgotten entirely.

No, not _those_ Forgotten Ones. Those were our our subjects, seven of our glorious dragon generals. The filthy humans ruined them too, even after all we did to help them. That elven bastard deserves some of the blame, as well, tricking our brethren into the earth. Luckily only seven were sent, but we greatly lamented their loss. Five are dead already, and two remain sleeping. We were able to rescue one soul out of the five, and another was stolen from us, but three precious Ancient dragon souls are now lost to the world forever.

To their credit, the mortals try their best to make sense of the world around them, but they are children stumbling blindly in the dark. They believe dragons to be mere beasts, and revel in their death. They do not understand that their actions spell their doom.  None are old enough to remember the old stories correctly, and the tales have either degraded from numerous recountings or were lost to the ether long ago. They know us not, but we have endured. We are the true gods of Tevinter, and we have been watching.

 

Chapter One: The Truth of Things

 

“They must be stopped,” I utter aloud.

“Spying on the mortals again, are we, Ferox? It only serves to rile you up, dear sister. You really should stop.”

I watch as my younger brother Etiam walks into the chamber. He's probably the smartest of us four siblings, but his adherence to rationality and logic means he often misses any emotional reasoning.  I doubt he’ll understand my outburst, even if I try to explain.  He pushes a section of his long pale hair back over his shoulders and his cool blue gaze studies me, then glances back to the Well.

I come here often, sitting over the sparkling water of the Watcher's Well, observing the world of mortals as it unfolds below. Etiam is right, it does make me angry, but it doesn't keep me from wanting to look. I sever the magical connection, and the blue shimmer disappears from the surface. As it clears, I see the long wavy dark hair and bright blue eyes of my own reflection staring back at me.

“They're killing more dragons, Etiam.  They _baited_ this one,” I stress. “I thought this 'Inquisition' of theirs was about sealing the Breach, but it's like they are making it their new mission to seek out and slaughter the high dragons. This is the third they have killed already, and you know as well as I what will happen to the world if we let this continue.”

“Perhaps it's time we allow them to destroy themselves,” he responds.

“But they don't even know they're doing it. Maybe they could be taught-” I begin.

He cuts me off. “They cannot be taught; we've tried that already. You remember how the humans used our own knowledge against us. And you saw what happened the last time, when our brother reached out to aid them. Contact with the mortals always has consequences,” he warns.

I ponder his words for a while. Our eldest brother, Lucis, is the one the mortals call the Maker. He's spent more time in Thedas than myself, Etiam, or our youngest brother, Tenebris. He'd paid the price for it too, when they burned his beloved Andraste at the stake.

The Chantry says that she joined him at his side, elevated beyond her mortal vessel, but they're wrong. That isn't what happened. She was just dead, gone, her brief human life over far sooner than it should have been, and my brother was beside himself. Had it been my lover, I would have covered the world in storms of fire and ice. Any who survived would not have quickly forgotten my wrath.

But, Lucis has a far gentler nature than I, and instead he retreated, withdrawing from both the world of Thedas and us in his mourning. He returns to our company from time to time, but he seems guarded now, and doesn't want to talk about humans at all.

Lucis is older than me by mere seconds—something that has been a point of contention between the two of us—but he was the only one of my siblings that shared my fascination with the mortal realm. We used to be so close. He and I would sit at the Well's edge for hours laughing at some human folly or another. I remember the way he used to be, and I understand Etiam's point.

“I'm not stupid enough to fall in love with a human.”

“There's no reason for you to go at all. We could send one of the generals if you're that determined,” he suggests.

“Place another dragon in front of them? No, I want to see this Inquisition for myself before we risk losing another general,” I declare. “It will be a game, like we used to play with the humans ages ago. I'll infiltrate their ranks. They'll never know I'm not the human mage I claim to be. If they can't be convinced to stop, then I will return.”

“One of us should go with you,” Etiam says calmly. “Mortals can't be trusted.”

“I'd rather do this on my own. I will report back when I can.”

*             *             *

I prepare for my journey, packing what I will need for my role as a human mage. There is little risk of the mortals discovering my identity. As far as I know, there are none left who even know the truth of the old gods. We four have kept ourselves mostly away from the mortal world since the magisters invaded our citadel and we had no choice but to punish them for their sin. The Black City remains our home, our defenses locked tight against a second attempt.

There is one thing the people of Tevinter got right, however. Magic is a gift from the gods, and needs to be preserved, treasured. Magic sustains the world, as it sustains us.  Before the First Blight, we spent centuries teaching the mortals to use abilities similar to ours. They would not have known how to unlock their power without us.

Our own abilities differ from each other, with each sibling specializing in one type of magic.  Lucis, the eldest of us, has always been kind and sensitive. He rules over the Creation domain of magic. The natural world and healing magic fall under his power.

I am the second eldest, and am the master of all things Primal. The destructive power of these elements matches my own changeable nature. I can be fierce in my retaliation, but sometimes it is necessary to raze an area in order for new growth to occur.

The second youngest is Etiam, whose sensible mind created the Spirit domain. Not all spirits are his creation, but he had a heavy hand in their rise. After the creation of the Veil, he turned his studies to understanding it, as well as the arcane arts.

Tenebris is the youngest, and undoubtedly, the most brash. He is the one who taught blood magic to the mages of Tevinter. It was his servant, Dumat, who helped carry the magic of the Taint to the people of Thedas. His domain is that of Entropy, but contains all things dark and corrupted.

Tenebris is probably my favorite, after Lucis's self-imposed isolation.  I felt lonely, and I grew closer with my youngest brother. I believe he would want to do something about the dragons, if he knew. I wish for a moment that I could tell him, but brush that thought off as foolish. His solution would be similar to Etiam's--let them kill themselves if that is what they wish. I can almost hear him saying it now. ‘Nudge one side with a little power, and you will see them topple. In time, the great balance solves all,’ he would say.

We'd trusted the humans before with gifts beyond measure, and they, in turn, betrayed us. Etiam was right about them not being trustworthy. But even they must have an interest in self-preservation. Surely they can be convinced to change their course of action.

I'll stop the Inquisition's dragon hunting, or I'll see them suffer for it.

*             *             *

I dress warmly enough, but the bitter cold of the mountains still bites through my cloak. I spent last night camping with strangers. I could have used my magic to go immediately there, but traveling with others helps give my story a measure of credibility. Not that I suspect it will be difficult to convince them to let me join. After Haven, the Inquisition is desperate for every ally it can get.

I'd laughed when I heard they named a nobleman from the Free Marches as the “Herald of Andraste”, as if a dead woman was coming back to help them. But, it seems that this Declan Trevelyan, now being called Inquisitor, has started proving himself as an apt leader, at least. First, he recruited the mages of Redcliffe as true allies. Mages were flocking to his side from all over for a chance at real freedom, which made my approach that much easier.

The second was when the Inquisitor stood alone against Corypheus and lived. The magisters of old were powerful even before they were touched by the Taint. Tenebris assures me he's not a real threat to us, but I'd watched the Inquisitor’s attempt at bravery through the Well. I remember it clearly--despite all his bravado, the Inquisitor had been dangling from Corypheus's grasp, and he’d been afraid. Still, I suppose he had acted, despite the odds being against him.

I still wonder at the corrupted dragon Corypheus commanded at Haven. They'd called it an Archdemon, but I would have known if one of the two remaining generals had been unearthed.  The others above ground were all with us, and accounted for.  He had to have turned a high dragon, but who taught him how to create such a creature? Had my brother Tenebris or someone loyal to him reached out to Corypheus? Corruption falls under my brother's domain. _If I find out he sacrificed a high dragon for this, I'm going to have more than words with him._

I look down at my belongings. I'd brought a couple of trinkets from back home to help. My pendant carries a bit of the water from the Watcher's Well, and I can use it to send messages back home if I need to.

The ring I wear on my right hand is small and delicate, with spiralling vines of silver.  It allows me to travel at will. The tales state that the elves are the ones who developed transportation magic, but that's not accurate, either. The elves did create the eluvian network, but they stole the secret of the magic from us. They needed to imbue a mirror with it in order to travel between worlds, but we created the spell, and we need no such portal. The magic in the ring will be enough for my purposes, but it is limited, and must be recharged. My own traveling or movement each day builds up enough charge for one trip, and it holds four charges. It's currently full, of course, after coming here and marching for a day.

One of the women from my group of travelers approaches me. “Hello Maeven,” I say brightly.

“Ferox, good morning,” she replies with a smile. We've exchanged a few pleasantries. She's a devout Andrastian. _The very idea of such a religion_. But, she seems like a good person, and she's making a pilgrimage to Skyhold to help the Inquisition. She has no skills in combat. She's not training in healing, and she's no mage, but I guess the Inquisition needs cooks and laundry women as much as they need everything else. No doubt they will find some use for an able-bodied woman like Maeven.

 _Today_. We should reach Skyhold by the end of the day.


	2. Skyhold

Chapter Two: Skyhold

I’m staring down the long stone bridge that will take us into the keep proper at Skyhold. I'll admit, this ancient fortress is impressive. Even if an invading army decides to strike at it, the inhospitable terrain and the mostly functional defenses would make it difficult to take in a siege. _How did the Inquisition acquire such a place?_ I look up at the towering spires and notice the courtyards are open to the skies above. A smile spreads on my face. _Impressive or not, I doubt it could withstand an army of dragons._

“It's really something, huh?” Maeven says from next to me.

She joins me in observing the massive structure. The day is bright still, but a gentle snow falls around us. My breath creates a small cloud in front of my face. _Time to see this operation for myself._

I turn, grin at her, and run down the bridge. Maeven laughs and rushes after me. I may be a goddess of destruction, but the flipside of my wild nature is an unbridled passion for life. It has been too long since I've felt the excitement of the unknown. _I forgot what it feels like here in the mortal realm. Maybe we should have came back a long time ago._

I stop a short distance before the main portcullis. Maeven catches up, laughing and breathing heavy. “You're crazy,” she comments, leaning over to catch her breath.

“I think we're both a little crazy. I mean, we're _joining the Inquisition_ ,” I retort.

A woman is waiting for us just inside the gates, and beckons us over. “New here, huh? You'll need the rundown on where to go. I'm Threnn, formerly Quartermaster, now demoted to...greeter, I guess.”

“Hello Threnn,” I reply pleasantly. “I'm Ferox.”

“No need to ask why you want to sign up,” she observes, pointing at my staff.

I shrug. “Can you blame me?”

“Not really,” she answers bluntly. “I'm pretty sure that's what the Inquisitor was hoping for.” She turns to my companion. “What about you?”

“I'm Maeven, and I just want to serve the cause of His Worship, the Herald. I saw what he did for the refugees in the Hinterlands, and I want to help in any way I can.”

“You'll do just fine. We'll have you report to Mother Giselle; she'll help assign something for you to do. But for now, both of you need to be shown to where you'll be staying.”

Threnn guides us away from the main courtyard, and surprisingly into the main keep. She follows twists and turns through stairs and corridors. We finally reach a long row of rooms on an upper walkway, overlooking the serene inner garden. _I love it already._

Threnn looks at me. “This is where several of the mages will be staying. Right now you'll have a room to yourself, but we may need to have you share if we get too many more recruits.”

“That sounds perfect,” I respond, giving her a warm smile. Her expression softens a bit. “You'll want to report to Fiona once you settle in. She leads the mages here, and she'll help you figure out the rest.” She gives me instructions on how to find her.

Maeven calls out, “I'm sure I'll see you at dinner!” I wave as she walks away with Threnn, no doubt to seek her own quarters. The room is chilly, with the walls on both sides made of stone and exposed to the freezing winds blowing off the mountains. I spot a fireplace and send a small jet of fire into it, reminding myself to get more fuel later. If it's this cold already, tonight will be unbearable. Again, this would be far easier with magic, but that's not an ability common to mages in the region. I decide keeping my cover is worth lugging a bit of firewood. The hearty fire warms the room a bit, and I unpack my meager belongings.

Once I finish, I put a hand out toward the fireplace. The crackling fire stops, shrinking to a small glowing ember that flies up to my hand before absorbing into my skin. _No sense keeping a fire going when I'm going to be gone for hours._

I strap my staff to my back and head to meet with Fiona. I know a few things about her already from watching through the Well. She led the rebel mages in Redcliffe, but was pressured into taking an offer from Alexius and allying with the Tevinter Imperium. None of that matters to me. When Tevinter first rose, it covered most of Thedas. Most of the people in Skyhold would have originally been ours--the humans, anyway. Then, too, it had been our own people who had betrayed us. Loyalties are too easily shifted in this world for politics to hold much importance.

Magic is the only thing that endures, the only thing that matters, far more than boundaries or leaders. We must preserve it at all costs. Without magic, this world will crumble, and it won't matter who's sitting on top of a pile of ashes. Even the Dalish elves understand this to some extent, but the humans seem to have forgotten, buried in their countless wars against each other. _I must not fail._

Trying to find my way back ends up being more of a challenge than I thought. I must have made a wrong turn somewhere, and I find myself on one of the upper levels outside. I decide a walk along the battlements suits me for the moment. I can get a better look at the interior of Skyhold from up here, and it's easier to keep my bearings while outdoors. I locate the main keep across the way, and see that a central walkway heads over to it. Perfect.

I pass several Inquisition agents along the way. Some are dressed as soldiers in full plate armor, with heavy footfalls echoing off the stone. Others are dressed in sleeker, less bulky armor, no doubt meant for stealth and conveying messages. I note this information for later.

I approach one of the guard towers that divide the battlements, but hear people talking in low voices. Glancing below me at the lower landing, I see two humans conversing. One of them is tall, with dark hair and a beard. A swipe of something red crosses his nose. I thought it might be blood at first, but I don't think so. He carries a staff at his back, the same as I, and wears armor in red and black. There's something familiar about him.

The other is clearly the Inquisitor. Shorter, and a little thinner than the first man.  His long auburn hair curls in a wave around his face on one side, and is shorn close to his head on the other. Neither has noticed me.

“If Corypheus has corrupted the Wardens, it may be too late to save them,” the Inquisitor informs the other man.

“I understand,” he replies. “I'll do whatever is necessary to stop him. Corypheus is my responsibility. I thought I'd killed him before. This time, I'll make sure of it.”

_Ah, that explains why he's familiar. Garrett Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall. His hair has grown a little longer than last I saw him._ I'd watched the events of Kirkwall with great fascination, to much teasing from two of my brothers. Lucis, of course, had no interest in what the humans were up to. Or, if he did, he kept his opinions to himself.

I’d like to talk with both the Inquisitor and the Champion, but my position isn't the greatest at the moment. I've only just arrived, I don't know them at all yet, and I'll be late to see Fiona if I don't get going. _If I wait, I can make a better first impression_. I turn back and start toward the door, but I find it hard not to peek back at the two men on the ramparts. My musings are cut short when I hit something that feels like a wall and fall backwards.

“If you're going to eavesdrop, at least watch where you're going,” a voice says from above me.

“Oh sorry, I-” I start, and look up.

I don't have to look far. A dwarf is standing in front of me, frowning. He's handsome enough, for one of the Children of the Stone, but missing the standard long beard. He sports multiple earrings, an open coat that reveals rather masculine chest hair, and the biggest crossbow I've ever seen. Definitely different than the others of his race that I've had dealings with in the past.

“I wasn't eavesdropping...well, not on purpose anyway,” I admit.

“Here,” he says, offering a hand to help me up.  I take it.

“I got a little turned around, and then I saw those two talking, and realized who they are,” I explain, shaking my head.

“Yeah, it's weird for me to see them together too. We've never met before; you must be new,” he observes.

I nod. “Yes, just today in fact. I'm supposed to report to Fiona to find out how she wants to assign me.”

“I'm Varric Tethras.” He inclines his head and makes a small motion as though bowing. “Fiona's probably in the upstairs library.  I could show you the way, if you need.”

I expel a breath of relief.  “I can see it over there, but this place is confusing.”

We haven’t moved more than a couple of feet when the door opens again, revealing none other than the Inquisitor himself.


	3. A Warm Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See what happens when Ferox meets some of the boys of the Inquisition

Chapter Three: A Warm Welcome

 

“Who's your friend, Varric?” asks the Inquisitor, walking up next to us, with Hawke not far behind. _I wanted to wait, but I guess an introduction now will have do._

“New recruit,” Varric answers. “Didn't get a name yet.”

“Ferox,” I speak up, smiling at him. “But I know who you are, Your Worship.”

“Please, none of that. Just Declan will be fine.”

“No, I couldn't possibly call you that,” I protest.

“I insist,” he adds. “I get enough of that from the nobles. I don't need it from pretty girls.”

 _What did he just say?_ I'm stunned, and feel an unfamiliar warmth in my cheeks.

Varric laughs. “Guess nobody warned you. The Inquisitor's an incurable flirt. Don't take him seriously.”

“I am not,” he contradicts, but smiles nevertheless. Stepping toward me, he takes my hand. “I'll have you know, dear lady, I happen to be _very_ serious.”

Even Hawke chuckles this time. “Your approach needs some work.” He joins our group and extends his own hand. “Garrett Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, at your service, but like him, I don't stand much on formalities. You can call me Garrett. It's always nice to meet another free mage.”

I pull my hand away from the Inquisitor and shake Hawke's hand, instead. I give my name again. “Well, that's kind of the point in coming here, right?” I ask. “You guys have the best deal running for mages in all Thedas!” I can't keep a straight face with any of these three men. _Maybe this won't be so hard, after all._

“Tevinter might not agree with you,” Varric states with a wry smile and a shrug. The thought, although sarcastic, does warm my heart a little.

“So,” I begin, “would one of you rather charming gentlemen be so kind as to give me directions to the library? I don't want to be late meeting Fiona on my first day here. “

“I'll walk you there...on one condition,” Declan asserts.

“Oh brother,” I chuckle. “This should be good.”

“I believe it will be. Dine with me at my table this evening.”

“Are you sure that's a good idea Your Wor-” I pause at his look, “Declan, I mean, showing favor to someone you only just met?” I question.

“Nah, he's always doing stuff like that, but you can sit next to me if you want,” Varric interjects. “Although if you're signing up to work with Fiona, I sure hope you're better with your staff than you are at paying attention to where you're walking,” he jokes.

“I can guarantee you of that,” I reply, laughing.

“Oh this I have to see,” Hawke teases. “What Circle are you from, anyway? I can't quite place your accent.”

“None. I've lived outside a Circle my whole life. Traveled a lot, too, that's probably why my accent isn't pronounced. I was born in a small fishing village on the Storm Coast, but it's been a long time since I was there,” I state, giving my usual tale about where I'm from. If I don't have a “home” then it's far less likely that anyone would think they knew me or ask me too many questions.

“You're Fereldan, then. Same here, although my parents were from the Free Marches,” Garrett says. “I'm fairly certain Fiona will want a demonstration of your 'guaranteed' magical prowess. I have to see if you can live up to your promises.”

“Well then, Garrett, prepare to be impressed,” I boast.

* * *

I end up with a three-person escort. _This was unexpected, but it's nice. I enjoy their company so far._ Declan leads the way, giving me a guided tour of the place as we go. He insists I walk next to him, leaving Garrett and Varric to tail behind us.

We reach an upper level in the main keep. Row after row of dusty bookshelves filled with ancient tomes line the walls. This is a place of learning. I've always loved the smell of the written word, although not nearly as much as my brother Etiam. He would spend hours pouring over texts in his study, scribbling notes down with his quill in a small book. I doubt anything lately is of much value to him, most of his text being retrieved from the mortal world long ago, but he finds enough crumbs of ideas to fill book after book with his thoughts. I've always been curious to see what he writes, but he won't let me read them.

We see a few individuals on the way, including a man, obviously a mage, in garb I recognize as from Tevinter. _One of our own, here, in this place where he would not be trusted. He is brave indeed._ I smile at him.

Varric calls out, “Hey Sparkler, is Fiona around?”

“What's this?” the man asks, and I hear the familiar intonations of Tevinter. It's pleasant.

“Dropping off a new recruit,” Declan states.

“And it requires a full Inquisition escort? Color me curious. But yes, she's over by that Tranquil girl, Helisma. Dare I ask what's so important?”

“I'm not sure what color curiosity is, but I'd say it fits them, as well,” I say with a giggle. “I made the mistake of bragging about my ability with magic, and now they want to see it.”

He grins. “I'd go with purple. Always been a favorite. And who might you be?”

“Ferox, wild apostate, and hopefully, agent of the Inquisition,” I reply. “You're from Tevinter, right?”

“Indeed. The scary 'Vint,” he jokes. “Dorian of House Pavus.”

“I'll make note to quake in my boots first next time, do it proper,” I tease.

“See that you do, and don't forget a knife for all the blood magic,” he retorts back. He's thoughtful for a moment. “I think I see now how you got an escort.”

I cock my head at him, unsure what he means. I'd been enjoying joking around with the men of the Inquisition so far, but I hadn't really done anything special.

“And you _don't_ see it. Even better,” he laughs. “You'll have to tell me all about your demonstration later.” He goes back to reading a book. The title read _From Magisters to Darkspawn: A History of the First Blight_ . On the table is another one, titled _Old Gods and Archdemons._

_Not just a little light reading, then. Dorian is researching Corypheus and the corrupted dragon. I'll definitely be back by to talk to him later and find out what he knows. Maybe I can use him to help influence the Inquisition's stance on dragons._

But, yet again, we've wasted time. I really wanted to make a good impression on Fiona, too. Now she's probably going to be angry, or maybe she'll understand when I show up with my powerful retinue. We finally arrive, and I'm face to face with the woman who would decide my fate here with the Inquisition.

“Inquisitor,” she greets Declan. “And the Champion, as well?”

I notice she didn't mention me, or Varric. I look over at him, gesture between he and I and shrug.

“Compared to them, maybe,” Varric says with a small chuckle, before returning his gaze to Fiona.

Fiona examines me carefully. “You must be the new recruit that Threnn told me about. I admit, I had expected you a bit earlier, but I see you were otherwise engaged.”

“I'm eager to get started,” I announce, smiling wide in my enthusiasm.

“What areas did you study at your Circle?” she asks.

“No Circle, I learned from my family or whoever would teach me, but I'm best at primal magic,” I explain.

“Any other specialities?”

“Yes. Dragons.”

The entire group turned to look at me.

Fiona wrinkled her brow. “What do you mean, dragons?”

“I'm an expert on dragons and dragon magic.”

Hawke spoke up. “I've never heard of dragon magic. Is there even such a thing?”

“Not to my knowledge,” Fiona asserts.

“And that's where Circle training gets you,” I conclude with a chuckle. “Dragons are most definitely magic.”

“Let's start with primal, then, but we will need a better area to test your talents,” Fiona states.

“Lead the way,” I respond.

* * *

Fiona leads us down a dusty, mostly unused corridor, and through a door that squeals loudly on its hinges as she opens it. _This area hasn't seen much use until lately._ The door opens into a large terraced balcony. The first section appears solid, with no cracks to indicate any kind of instability. The second section shows more evidence of wear, stone railings crumbling, and sections of the floor missing around the edges.

Fiona indicates that the others are to stay on the upper balcony, while she and I head to the lower section.

“Let us start with something simple. Do you know the spell Winter's Grasp?” Fiona asks me.

“That _is_ simple,” I state. I back away from her, twirl my staff in the air once, and slam the end into the ground, sending out the freezing burst around me.

“Good, now how about Rock Armor?” she prompts.

“This isn't really a challenge, you know,” I tell her, and focus on the solid feeling of earth around me. Out of the dust and pebbles around me, the earth particles collect and create a light, durable armor for me. I know it looks a little different than what normal mages do. Rock Armor often ends up bulky and heavy, but I don't like things that impede my movement, so I tend toward more flexible materials.

“An interesting variation,” she comments, coming over to test the strength of my armor. She pulls out a short dagger from her belt.  I hear the Inquisitor... _Declan_ , I remind myself, protest the idea of her stabbing me.

“Don't worry, Declan, I know what I'm doing,” I reassure him, raising my tone to be sure to be heard above the sound of the wind. The blade shatters on my armor, despite being thin. I see surprise in her eyes.

“Very well, you wish for a challenge?” she asks with a grunt of frustration.

 _“Yes_ , please,” I beg, my boredom with these small tasks evident in my impatient tone.

“Show me Storm of the Century,” she commands. _She doesn't think I can do it. Oh, Fiona, you do have a few things to learn about me._

 _There are three parts to this one._ Clenching my fist, I activate my ability Spell Might. I see Fiona's eyes narrow. _She knows I know what I'm doing, at least._ I raise my staff in the air and start chanting the Blizzard incantation. It takes a few seconds, but then the blast of frigid air hits, sleet and snow whipping around in the wind. Immediately, I raise my staff again and call upon a charge in the air, in my mind's eye, drawing the storm clouds nearer _This is my element._ I laugh with excitement as I feel the primal forces collecting, and I unleash Tempest in the same area as I had Blizzard.

The roar of the electrical storm is loud enough that I bet anyone inside the keep believes a real thunderstorm is brewing. The spell cast, I lean my head back and enjoy the rush of the winds stirring my long wavy hair. _Magic_. This is what I live for.

The storm rages for a few minutes, making it difficult to see Fiona, or the men of my escort, but eventually it settles. The ground is covered in frost, and small patches of purple electricity still spark around me.

“How was that?” I ask Fiona, faking being a little winded, and I grin.

She claps. “I would say you are a master of elemental magic. Well done, and welcome to the Inquisition.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ferox turned out different than what I had expected, but, characters take on a life of their own. She's far more direct than I had planned, but honestly, I think I like it better this way.


	4. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox accepts an invitation from the flirtatious Inquisitor to have dinner with him and his friends.

Chapter Four: Dinner

 

Fiona runs me through a few more tests before concluding I don’t need much training, and I'm deemed ready to go on missions when called upon. I, in turn, agree to talk to her more about dragon magic in the near future. All three members of my escort are smiling at me when I return to the upper balcony.

“Well, gentlemen, how was the show?” I ask, joining them.

Declan's face lights up. “You were wonderful, my dear!” He moves closer and reaches out, as though to hug me, but Hawke cuts him off, reaching me first. Garrett towers over me. I may be well below average height for modern humans, but I've always enjoyed my size. It makes reaching high shelves a bit of a challenge, but I find it hilarious when people underestimate me because I'm small. Still, standing next to Hawke makes me feel even smaller.

“Not bad, little apostate. I'd like to hear more about how you learned all that. I mean, I had my father growing up, but even I don't have the kind of practiced form that you do.”

“My family traveled around a lot, my three brothers and I. We practiced together and we met a lot of mages during our journeys that taught us all kinds of things,” I tell him, keeping my response vague.

“So about dinner,” Declan interrupts. “We'll be meeting in about an hour at my table in the main hall.”

“Oh,” I say, remembering, “I already agreed to eat with Maeven, my friend who came here with me. I think she's working with Mother Giselle.”

“But you said you would come,” Declan pushes.

“Technically, she didn't,” interjects Varric. “She never actually answered you.”

“He's right,” Garrett confirmed. “We just sort of changed topics.”

“So bring your friend, then,” Declan offers, undeterred.

“Okay, but I'm sitting next to Varric,” I assert. “He did ask first.”

Varric guffaws next to me. I grin at him. _I think I'm going to like it here._

Once we reach the main hall of the keep again, I'm pretty sure I know how to find my way back to my quarters, so I say my goodbyes and head back to change for dinner. I know I'm dining in the company of the Inquisitor, but I remember him telling me to call him by his first name. I decide I don't want to overdo it by being too formal, so I stick to a simple purple dress. I think of Dorian and his fondness for the color. Guess maybe I'm a little curious, too. Meeting the members of the Inquisition has not been what I expected so far, but it's giving me more hope that perhaps they will be reasonable about the dragons.

I return to the hall and find I've been saved a seat between Varric and Maeven. Declan, of course, has managed to make sure he's seated directly across from me, but as I approach, I can tell he's already charming young Maeven. He leans in close to say something to her, and I see her cover her mouth and giggle.

“I think you had it right, Varric,” I say as I step up behind my chair and slide it out before anyone can get up to do it for me. “He is incurable.”

That gets me another cheeky grin from Varric. “Yep, hopeless. Glad you could make it.”

“Ferox,” Maeven says, smiling up at me. “You're here for less than a day and already making powerful friends.” She shakes her head. “I don't know how you do it.”

“Unrelenting sarcasm and dumb luck, apparently,” I answer with a small laugh. I sit down and scoot my chair in. Declan had been half out of his own chair and looks a little disappointed, but settles back into his seat.

“Evening, gentlemen,” I say in greeting.

There are several people seated at the table around me. Next to the Inquisitor is Garrett Hawke, who nods his head to me, the corners of his lips turning upward. I see that Dorian has joined us, as well, and he crooks an eyebrow at me, moving his hands down his torso in a gesture that I interpret as noting my color choice for this evening. I give him a little shrug. “My apologies, I wore shoes, not boots. You have to give me a little more warning if you want me to be prepared to quake in them.” I'm rewarded with a smile that reaches his eyes.

The table isn't a large one, surprisingly, housing only seven. I would think that the Inquisitor would have had a lot of people wanting to dine with him. _I suppose he likes to keep it small, or maybe he rotates who eats with him?_ There are two others that are unfamiliar to me, both women, and both fashionable, although in different ways.

The first is short, although not as short as I am. She is dressed in a frilly blouse and skirt, her hair pulled back with controlled ringlets framing her face. _The word controlled seems to fit her overall, actually._

The second seems to have a cool demeanor, as well. She is tall and slender, and dressed in a way that I can tell she can only be from Orlais. She wears her hair cropped close to her head, unusual for a woman, but it suits her very well, especially with the lovely dark tones of her skin.

I introduce myself to both of them. The frilly-bloused woman speaks up first.

“I am Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador for the Inquisition. I heard about your display earlier. Fiona was quite impressed with you, or so I'm told,” she states.

“I think we all _heard_ it, my dear,” says the tall woman. “It was so noisy, we could hardly not.” I would have thought the last was a bit of an insult, but she looks at me sweetly. _Ah, someone used to high society._ I've never been very good with that sort. She continues, “I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court.”

I have no idea what to say to that, so I just give a small nod. “A pleasure. I'm Ferox, new member of the Inquisition.”

I reach for my wine and take a sip. It's very sweet - a little too sweet, and I set it back down. The table is quiet for a second after the introductions, but Garrett is the next to break the silence.

“I must say, I was a little surprised when you told Fiona you were an expert on dragons. I thought maybe you were joking, but you weren't teasing about your other abilities. Now I need to know more about what you meant.”

I smile. _Here's my chance to get started._   “What do you already know about dragons, Garrett?”

“I fought a couple outside Kirkwall. One was a high dragon. It had attacked miners at a place called the Bone Pit,” he begins.

“Yeah,” Varric adds. “That was a pretty nasty fight. I wasn't sure Bianca and I were going to make it through that one.”

“Bianca?” I inquire.

Hawke laughs. “It's the name of his crossbow.”

I tilt my head and look at Varric curiously. “That beautiful piece of weaponry deserves a good name, but Bianca? Tell me there's a story.”

“Yeah, but it's the one story-” Varric begins.

“-that he'll never tell,” finishes Garrett, cutting him off. Both of them chuckle. “I've been trying to get that particular tale out of him for years.”

“Don't get any ideas. Bianca only has eyes for me,” he jokes.

I shift my gaze back and forth between Varric and Hawke. “It's clear the two of you are good friends.”

“The best,” Garrett answers, then changes the subject again. “So we fought that dragon at the mine. Varric's right, it was vicious. It spouted fire, and nearly killed us, but I didn't get any sense that it was magic. You're the first I've ever heard say anything about dragon magic.”

“Dragon magic?” queries Vivienne. “The Circle doesn't know of it, either, _if_ it exists.”

“It exists alright, but I'm not surprised; it's not a common area of study,” I admit. “As I said before, my family traveled a lot. Part of that was to be able to study dragons up close. All dragons are inherently magic. Even the low dragonlings have a small bit of it. But it grows as they age.”

Varric frowns. _He seems troubled._ “Funny enough, I _have_ heard about this before,” he admits.  

Vivienne's smug expression changes into curiosity. “Do tell,” she chimes in.

I watch him carefully. _Varric knows about dragon magic?_

“Years ago, I ended up tagging along with an old friend on a mission that was supposed to make us rich. We ended up confronting a Witch of the Wilds who talked about dragons, and their magic.”

“One of Flemeth's daughters?” I ask hesitantly, careful not to mention her true name. I'd called her friend, once. She'd gotten close enough with us to learn some of the secrets about dragons. She even learned to take the form of one of them, herself. But she too, had gone missing when the Veil went up. I'd learned a little of her involvement with recent events by looking in the Watcher's Well, but I didn't know any of her other daughters had lived.

“That's what she claimed to be, anyway,” he continues. “She said the blood of dragons is magical.” He seems lost in the memory. _I wonder what he's not saying._

“Not just the blood, but yes.”

“Ferox, are we talking about _blood magic_?” Hawke asked me, a mild look of disgust on his face.

“No,” I reassure him with a shake of my head. “What I do doesn't require blood magic, although I'm sure there are those who have tried such things. My goal is to preserve the dragons, alive and whole if possible, especially those of high status or above. To keep their magic in the world.”

“What's above a high dragon?” Declan asked, fascinated. “We've seen a few high dragons, but I wouldn't even know what else would be above that.”

“There are elder dragons, and finally the ones that some in Tevinter use to believe were divine, the ancient dragons.”

“Archdemons, you mean,” interjected Vivienne.

“No, I know what I said,” I correct her. “Ancient dragons are just that, dragons. They don't become Archemons until the darkspawn find them and manage to infect them with the Taint. Dragons have a strong resistance, and the ancient ones even more so.  It's a more lengthy process than you would think. But because of the magic that they absorb and grow within themselves, when they die, it destabilizes the world. That's the reason I came here. The Inquisition must stop hunting high dragons.”

My announcement is met with silence, and then laughter. Not the reaction I was expecting from the way the conversations had been going.

“I’m serious!”

They laugh even harder. _Why did I ever think that they would listen? They’re ignorant humans, incapable of understanding the reality of things when it’s staring them in the face._

My chair slides back violently as I stand. I slam my hands down on the table, nearly toppling the wine goblet in front of me. “You can’t avoid the truth forever; you will see that I’m right. The next time the Inquisition goes after a dragon, I want to be there. I’ll _show_ you that I know what I’m talking about.”

That quiets them. I notice that Varric hasn’t laughed. He’s looking at me with an expression of concern. _What must he have gone through to listen when the others don’t?_

“Okay, Ferox,” Declan concedes. “Next dragon, you’re in. We’re actually headed back to Crestwood soon. We need to find Hawke’s friend, but we spotted a dragon there. The locals say it’s been a menace to the people nearby, and has been making off with their herds.”

“What is it you plan to do, exactly, when you get there?” Garrett asks.

“Don't worry, all you have to do is stand back and watch,” I tell him. He winces.

“This...this is really important to you, isn’t it?” Maeven asked, finally speaking up.

“There’s nothing _more_ important," I stress. Turning back to Declan, I say, "Let me know when I should be ready to leave for Crestwood.”

I walk away from the table, realizing I never even ate my dinner. I feel a little foolish, but I’m just so _angry_ at them.

My rage churns under the surface, threatening to appear, but I’m able to swallow it. Varric comes up to stand next to me.

“You alright?”

“I would be if I could get a real drink around this place.”

“I can probably help you with that one,” he replies.

“Ferox,” Garrett says, joining us, a frown forming in his forehead. “I'm sorry I didn't listen before.”

His apology makes me calmer. I can at least hear out the rest of what he has to say.

“Can I join you two?” he asks.

I nod.


	5. Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox goes drinking at the Herald's Rest, and meets some interesting characters...

Chapter Five: Drinks

 

“So, we have a tavern here; it's called the Herald's Rest,” Varric tells me on the walk over.

“That’s not a very clever name, is it?”

“No...what would you call it, then?” Garrett asks me.

“The Drunken Uncle,” I suggest.

“Nah,” Varric rejects my idea, “too creepy.”

“Hm, how about the High Flagon?” I ask, offering another suggestion.

“You really do think about dragons all the time, don't you?” Garrett teases, but laughs anyway.

I shrug.

Varric comments, “You know, Ferox, you surprised me back there.  You may have a bit of a temper.”

“I have more than a bit of one. Especially when people are being stupid and bull-headed.”

“Bull-headed,” Hawke repeats, and laughs again.

“What did I say this time?” I ask.

“Oh, _right_ ,” Varric responds, his eyes lighting up. “There's a friend of ours who usually hangs out at the tavern about this time of day. You'll see what we mean when you meet him.”

“And he's bull-headed?” I attempt to clarify.

They both just snicker. “You could say that,” Varric adds.

“Well, if he's a friend of yours, I'm sure he's okay. You two were the only ones who even tried to hear me out in there.”

“I've just seen too much shit in my day to dismiss what you said right off,” Varric acknowledges with a sigh.

“I trust Varric's judgment,” Hawke says. “And I also saw the look on your face when they laughed. You weren’t just embarrassed, you were worried.  I’m not sure what I believe, exactly, but I know that you’re acting like someone who believes in what they say.”

“Thanks.  I didn’t think anyone would listen when I first got here.  Then I met  everyone, and they were all so nice - I guess I just got my hopes up.  But I’m not giving up; I’ll show them.”

A look passes between them that I can’t decipher, but it doesn't matter, as just then we arrive at the tavern.

Varric opens the door and holds it for me.  As I enter, I see the bar itself stands off to our left, with a gruff looking dwarf manning the station.  A minstrel is playing in front of a staircase that winds around and upward to all three stories.  Beyond the stairs are more tables, and... _oh, that Qunari guy, ‘bull-headed’, now I get it._ I burst into giggles, and my face reddens in embarrassment as he walks over to us.

“Did I miss something?” the Qunari asks, looking to Varric.   _Funny, a lot of people look to Varric when they need something._ I glance over at him myself.  

“Private joke that she just got let in on. I’ll explain it to you later,” Varric responds.

“So who’s the new kid?” he questions.

“Kid?”

“Sorry, I thought you were a child at first.  You’re just so...tiny.”

“I prefer to think of myself as conveniently travel-sized,” I say as I grin at him.

A laugh sounds from beside us and I look over to see another man joining us.  He’s also wearing armor, with some of the same markings as the Qunari’s.   _These two must work together, but those aren’t Inquisition symbols._  

“I’m The Iron Bull, and this is my Lieutenant, Cremisius Aclassi,” Bull says.

“Just call me Krem,” he clarifies.  “Everyone does.”

“Ferox, new mage recruit to the Inquisition.  Is that a Tevinter accent I detect?”

“Yeah, but now I just work with the Chargers, best mercenary crew you’ll ever meet.”

“Seriously, though, you could pass for an elf, or a really tall skinny dwarf,” Iron Bull comments, looking at me.

“Careful, she’s pretty feisty,” Hawke cautions.

“Yeah,” Varric adds.  “I thought she was going to flip over the Inquisitor’s dining table for a moment.”

“Knock it off you two, I wasn’t that bad...was I?” I ask, my voice fading out at the end.   _I guess maybe that had looked bad._

“I’ll never forget the look on Josephine’s face,” Varric tells me.  “No, I think that was worth it just for the entertainment value.”

“Oh, but don’t worry,” Hawke says.  “The Inquisitor won’t take it personally, and I think Dorian was even a little impressed when you stormed out.”

“A storm, yes,” a breathy voice says next to me and I suddenly notice the boy squatting on the stool at my side.  His face is hidden by the brim of a wide hat, and he’s dressed in muted tones of gray and brown.  His fingers are pale as he grips the stool with one hand.

“She is a storm,” he repeats.  “She sounds like thunder.  Old hurts that aren’t her own.  But the hole he left hurts most of all.  Hungry, hollow, hunting for home, but she finds only the taste of ashes.”

My mouth falls agape.   _A spirit?_

“Kid, we’ve talked about this.  You can’t just pop in and say stuff like that,” Varric admonishes.  “My apologies, Ferox.  He does that sometimes.  He’s awful to have around for cards.”

I look at the spirit.  “What is your purpose, spirit?” I ask gently.  I’ve had plenty of interactions with his kind before, although it’s more Etiam’s realm of expertise than mine.

“I like to help,” he states plainly, looking up.  I can see now that he has the appearance of a gaunt young man with blonde hair.

“Compassion, then,” I clarify.

“Yes,” he answers.  “He left because the fire burned him too, not because he did not love you.”

“I know,” I admit.   _Stupid Lucis.  We all would have been there for you, but you turned away from us.  Even this spirit gets it._

“You okay?” Garrett asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.  I meet his eyes, and see the concern there.

“Yeah, he didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know,” I respond.   

Varric makes the introduction, “This is Cole...but how did you know what he is?”

“One of my brothers used to talk with spirits quite frequently.  You kind of get used to them being around when that happens.”  I turn to the spirit.  “Hello Cole.  You’ve taken a name?”

“I helped him, but I got confused.  I thought I was him.”

“I understand.  I’m glad you found your purpose again, Cole.  It’s a fine name.”

“Yes,” he says.

“So you guys drinking or what?” Krem asks.

“Maker, yes,” Varric answers, and I smile.

“Anything’s got to be better than that wine they had at dinner,” I state.  “It tasted like sugared raisins.  I need something with a little more bite to it.”  It’s then that I realize Cole is gone.   _When did he leave?_

“Oh, I think I like her,” Iron Bull comments.  “I have just the thing.”

“I’d like to stay on this side of the table, not under it, if you don’t mind,” Hawke says, shaking his head at me in a not-so-secret message advising me not to go for Bull’s offer.

“I think just an ale will do,” I state.

“I’ll get us a couple,” Varric offers.  “Hey Bull, where are the rest of the Chargers?”

“Boss sent them out on a mission, but they should be back by tomorrow.”  Bull gestures toward the table in the back where he had been sitting.  

Garrett gives me a small smile, and waves a hand in front of him.  “Ladies first.”

I look one direction, then the other.  “I think we’ll be waiting a while for any of those; we’d better just sit down.”  He chuckles, and puts his hand back on my shoulder, guiding me over to the table.   _He likes to touch a lot, doesn’t he?_

Garrett takes the corner seat, and I sit next to him.  Iron Bull and Krem are across from us.  Varric returns from the bar with three ales, and after gently setting two down in front of Hawke and I, plunks down in the chair at the end of the table.  He frowns, apparently changing his mind.  He reaches over and moves my glass toward the center of the table, then gives me a meaningful look.

“In case we do something stupid,” he teases.  

I break into a wide grin, grab the mug, and take a big gulp.  I exhale loudly with an ‘ahh’ of satisfaction, setting it back down again.  “Now that’s more like it!”

An elf girl walks down the steps from the second story.  She’s dressed in a red tunic and yellow plaid pants.  Her blonde hair is cut at an odd angle.  I’m pretty sure she cuts it herself.  In the dark.  Without a mirror.  She, too, comes over the the table.

“Cole stopped in.  It friggin’ creeps me out the way he does that.  Said we have a storm brewin’ downstairs,” she comments.  “Figured it was worth a look, right?”

“Hey Sera,” Bull comments, grabbing a chair from a nearby table, and scooting it up in between him and Varric.  This forces Varric and I to squeeze in closer with Hawke, close enough I can feel the heat coming off each of their bodies.  I self-consciously move my arms closer to my side, and I’m careful when I lift the mug again and take a drink.

“New blood, eh?” Sera asks, turning the chair around backwards.  She sits on it, and leans her arms over the back.  “And _another_ _mage_ ,” she observes flatly, taking in the staff I had leaned up against the table.  She frowns.

“Wait...I’m a _mage?_ Why in the blazes didn’t anybody tell me?” I exclaim.  I turn to Hawke.  “You knew, didn’t you?”

He chuckles, then gives a dramatic sigh.  “I didn’t want to worry you, but I’m sorry to tell you...you’ve got magic.”

“Is it serious?” I play along.

“Deadly,” he retorts and we both dissolve into laughter.

Sera gives me a skeptical look, but I can see the corner of her mouth twitching.

“Buy you a drink?”  I offer.

“I never refuse a drink from a lady,” Sera replies with a wink.

“Too bad I’m buying,” I comment, and she snorts.

“Alright, you’re not so bad.  I’m Sera.”

“Ferox,” I respond with a smile.

I turn to Varric.  “So who all do you think will be going on this Crestwood thing?”

“What ‘Crestwood thing’?” Bull inquires.

“We’re going to meet my friend from the Wardens.”

Ice water fills my veins and my mood suddenly shifts.  “Wardens?” I ask, unable to keep the edge from my voice.

“Calm down, Firefly,” Varric tells me.  I look at him in surprise.

“Firefly?”  It’s hard, but I resist laughing.  I am really not pleased about hearing the Grey Wardens are involved in all this.

“Yeah, you know...fire being that quick temper of yours, and the whole dragons bit, you know, and dragons fly.  I dunno, it just popped into my head and I said it.”

“Why not Dragonfly then?  Wouldn’t that make more sense?”

“Nope, Firefly,” he insists.  “Happened first, and now you’re stuck with it.”

“I guess I’ve been called worse things,” I admit.  “I do have three brothers.  Firefly’s kind of cute in comparison.”

“Any chance of them signing up?” Hawke asks.

I turn back the other direction.  Garrett is looking at me. He’s a bit close.  I try to back up but bump into Varric.  “It’s a little crowded in here, sorry.”

“No problem, no harm done,” Varric responds, steadying me.

“Uh, about my brothers...only one of them knows I’m here.  The other two wouldn’t be too happy that I joined the Inquisition - they’re a little protective and they’d think it’s too dangerous.  Let’s hope they don’t decide to show up.  Hawke, why do you have a friend in the Wardens?”

“We met a while back.  He’s on the run, hiding in Crestwood.  I thought he could help us figure out what’s happening with the other Wardens.”

My expression must have given away my surprise, as Garrett keeps going.  “Yeah, something weird is happening.  Wardens are disappearing, and we’re not sure why.  I’m hoping he can shed some light on it.”

Personally, I’d be fine if every Grey Warden in Thedas disappeared.  They had found out a way to stop the Archdemons and the resulting Blights, but their way destroys the dragon’s soul.  I’m sure they have no idea the impact that has on the world, but it’s still heartbreaking.  Each time an ancient dragon dies, one type of magic is gone from the world forever, and can’t be recovered.

Dumat, the first that was turned long ago, had been the dragon of Silence.  When he was killed by the first Grey Wardens at the Battle of the Silent Plains, all Silence magic ceased to work.  It was just gone.  It is likely that none other than us even remember Silence magic even existed, but the world wasn’t the same anymore.  Each time it happens the world changes again in a drastic way.  The ancients are the most precious of all dragons, and must be protected.  Without their magic, the world of Thedas will fall.

Varric speaks.  “Sorry, we got a little sidetracked. You asked who I think is going to Crestwood.  I’m betting Hawke, the Inquisitor, and you for sure.  I don’t really look forward to taking on another dragon, but I’ll go if I’m asked.”

“ _Dragon?_ ” booms The Iron Bull in his deep voice.  “Why didn’t you say that first?”

“The Chief really likes killing things,” Krem explained.

I watch them both carefully.  “We’re not going to kill it,” I announce.

“What do you mean, you’re not going to kill it?” Sera asks  “It’s a dragon, innit?  All ‘nom nom aaaah’?”  The last is said in high-pitched tones.

“Yes, but we don’t _have_ to kill it.  There’s a better way.  It’s where my magic comes in.  I’ll show everyone when the time comes.  Promise me that if you’re there, you’ll let me try to handle it first before you attack,” I insist, leaning toward Bull across the table.

“I guess I can watch you get eaten if that’s what you choose,” Bull concedes begrudgingly.  “I love it when they rear up and try to roast you.  At least I’ll get a good seat for it this time.”

“I’m not going to get eaten.  Trust me.”

“I’ll get you that drink, then.  It might be your last chance,” Bull says, and waves.  A serving girl comes over.  I order an ale for Sera, and Bull orders something for me.  When it arrives, I look at it.

“Stars, what is that?”I ask.

“Maraas-lok.   _Drink_ ,” he insists.

 _Okay, I’m game._  I take a sip of the strong alcohol and come up sputtering, coughing for breath.

“ _Yes,”_ Bull says encouragingly.  “That’s the way it’s supposed to feel.”

I look at the murky amber liquid again, shrug, and take a second sip.  It hurts less the second time.  Bull looks impressed that I manage not to cough.  I do grimace, though.  I feel the heat start to spread through me already and I realize just how potent this stuff is.  Even with my increased stamina, I’ll be “under the table” as Hawke put it in no time if I don’t stop.

“I think I’ve felt enough of it,” I say, pushing it away.  My cheeks feel warm, but I know it’s not from embarrassment this time.  

“A wise decision,” Hawke agrees next to me.

After a few more minutes of conversation a yawn hits me unexpectedly.  “Guys, I just realized it’s been a really long day.  I should probably head back to my room.  Thanks for the drinks Bull, Varric; I really needed that tonight.  Sera, Krem good to meet you both.  Garrett, see you soon,” I finish, and move to stand up.  I wobble a little bit, but I’m okay once I’m on my feet.

“I’m headed back, Firefly, I’ll walk with you,” Varric says.

“I should get some rest too, especially if Declan decides to leave for Crestwood tomorrow,” Hawke adds.

I nod, and the three of us leave together, waving back at Bull, Krem, and Sera.  I wonder about the spirit, Cole, but I don’t see him.

It’s dark, and the air is bitterly cold as we step outside.  I’m thankful now for the alcohol Bull had given me, as it’s helping me feel a bit warmer than I would have otherwise.  “Ugh, it’s freezing.  We should hurry.”

I look at both them, and get another ridiculous idea.  “Race you,” I call, and start running, laughing as I do so.  I hear the other two give chase, and it’s not long before we’re at the stairs leading up to the keep again.  Hawke wins, but then again, his legs are a lot longer than either mine or Varric’s.  I pause for a moment, the cold air burning my lungs.

“I’m getting too old for that kind of shit,” Varric curses between labored breaths.

“What?  Shut it, you’re not even remotely old.  But come to think of it, I did notice that everyone does kind of look up to you like you’re their father,” I point out.

Hawke chuckles.

“There are days I feel like I’m parenting a bunch of idiot children,” Varric admits, putting a hand to his temple.

I look up at the sky.  The clouds have cleared and the darkness is filled with a million tiny stars.  It’s breathtaking.

“What are you doing?” Varric asks.

“Just enjoying the view.  You miss a lot if you never look up,” I reply.  I spread my arms out and twirl slowly in a circle.  I get a little dizzy from the combination of the motion and the alcohol, so I stop.

“It is a nice night,” he states, and they both join me in looking at the stars over the mountains for a few minutes.

“Thanks again for tonight, you two, seriously,” I say quietly to them.

“Happy to help,” Hawke says.

“Anytime, Firefly.”


	6. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of drinks, Ferox gets a wake up call, and her first orders from the Inquisition.

Chapter Six: Preparations

 

There’s a knocking at my door.   _Huh, what?_  I struggle through the foggy thoughts in my head to identify what that sound could possibly be.  It takes me a while, but thankfully, it’s persistent.  I grab a dressing robe and throw it over my sleeping shift.

“Who is it?” I call out.

“Maeven,” she replies from the other side of the door.

 _Oh man, I’d ditched her at the Inquisitor’s table last night.  I bet she’s furious with me._ I walk to the door and open it.  I usher her in out of the cold.  

“I just came to deliver a message.  Declan asked me to tell you that he wants to see you this morning, they’re going to set out for Crestwood in the afternoon and he wants to discuss preparations,” she says.

“So it’s ‘Declan’ already, and not ‘Your Worship’?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.  She just shrugs.  “Maeven, about last night…”  I’m not sure where to go from there, so I stop.

“It’s okay.  I was happy to be invited,” she replies sullenly.

“No, I’m sorry.  They found my one major sore spot and poked it.  I lost my temper, but I should have been more considerate.  Can you forgive me?”

She thinks for a moment, then nods.  “I’m going to be going with you today, anyway,” she states.  “Mother Giselle has assigned me to help some of the merchants set up at Caer Bronach, so I’ll be traveling that far with you and Declan.”

“Will you be staying there?” I ask.

“Not sure yet.  I think they need people to help out like that all over, so I might get to travel.”

“That sounds nice, Maeven,” I admit. “I’m pretty sure my place is on the front lines, but I hope we get to see more of each other.  You’ve been a good friend to me already.”

“I hope so too.  You seem to be making new friends of your own, though.  You didn’t hear what they said when you left.”

“I was pretty sure I didn’t _want_ to hear what they said when I left,” I confess.

“Well, I’ll be honest, Josephine was a bit shocked - she’s kind of proper, you know - and Vivienne doesn’t seem to have too high an opinion of you.  But Dorian defended you.  I think you made an impression on him.  And Varric and Hawke leaving with you certainly said something to the others at the table.  I think Declan was a little embarrassed.  Go easy on him today, okay?”

“I can play nice if he will,” I assert.

“Good enough for me.”  She smiles, and I’m glad we talked.

Maeven slips back out the door and leaves me to get ready.  I dress in simple armor designed for a mage. It consists of several pieces that each serve a different function.  A pair of flowing trousers that taper back close to the leg at mid-calf and short leather overskirt of loose-hanging segments protect my hips and legs without limiting movement.  My long-sleeved undershirt has quilted sections on the bodice for added warmth and a little protection.  Over that I wear an angled leather vest that stops just under my breasts, and has a high collar.  The cloth pieces are all in a muted shade of blue that seems to shift the depth of color as I move.  I know it sets off the blue hue of my eyes, and I want to impress today.  The leather is a deep rich brown.

I pull on a set of matching leather wrist cuffs with blue laces, a belt with many pouches and slots for potions, and a pair of short leather boots.  I braid my long, dark, wavy hair and pull it to the side, next to the collar of my vest.   A few unruly tendrils escape, as they always do, to frame my face.  I go to the mirror and give my reflection a look.   _Ready as I’ll ever be._

I grab my staff and step out the door, and I’m grateful for the warmth of the clothes.  The clear skies persist today, so it’s a sunny morning, but the temperature hasn’t risen much yet.  The garden stays a little warmer, nestled in between the heated halls of Skyhold.  I’m fairly certain the warmth from the fires is the only reason we’re able to grow anything at all down there.

I make my way to the main keep, without trouble this time as I remember the route I had taken after leaving Hawke and Varric.  Speaking of, I spot Varric sitting at a table near the fireplace.  He’s frowning at something on a piece of parchment.  It looks like a letter.  I attempt to sneak over and manage to catch the name “Bianca” in the header before he sees me and tucks the paper away.   _Bianca is a real person?  The story he’ll never tell, eh?  Dwarf has reflexes like a twitchy cat, though.  Need to remember that._

“You feeling okay?” Varric asks.  “I can’t believe you drank that Qunari stuff last night.”

“I’m good.  Takes more than that to knock me down;  I have a pretty sturdy constitution,” I tell him.  “I’m looking for Declan, is he around?”

“I think he was heading to Cullen’s office last I saw him,” he explains.

“Great!  And….where is that, exactly?” I ask, embarrassed to admit I still don’t know my way around.

“I’ll walk you.  I could use a break, anyway,” he replies with a frustrated huff.  I wonder for a moment about the contents of the letter, but follow him as he leads me into the next room.  He heads up the staircase.  I, however,  stop in my tracks as I see the last person in Thedas I wanted to see.

“ _You,”_ I bite out through gritted teeth.  “I should have know you would be here, what with the rip in the-”

“Firefly?” Varric questions from the stairs, realizing I hadn’t followed him.  He sees the look that passes between me and the other occupant of the room.

“Ferox, it’s good to see you again,” the elven man greets, and comes over to me.  I stand my ground, but scowl at him.  It’s all I can do to keep my hands from wrapping around that scrawny neck of his.

“You think hiding here in the Inquisition will save you?” I ask haughtily.  “If my brothers knew you were here…” I shake my head.

“The two of you know each other,” Varric concludes.

“Yes,” the man answers.  His bald head does little to detract from his sharp elven features.  He is average height for an elf, which puts him still a little taller than me. “Our families were friends once.”

“That was a long time ago, F-” I say, but he cuts me off.

“I do not wish to dig up old feuds, Ferox.  You know why I am here - the Breach requires my attention.”

“Of course, the precious Veil,” I hiss.

“You have problems with Solas?” Varric asks.

“Varric, you have no idea,” I say.   _So he’s going by Solas._

“And I assume it was the dragons that brought you here,” Solas guesses.

I nod.

“Perhaps we could speak later, just the two of us?” he suggests.  I get his meaning.  He doesn’t want to reveal his identity any more than I do at the moment.  “I propose a truce.  For now.”

“For now,” I reluctantly agree.

*       *       *

“Life is never dull around you, is it, Firefly?” Varric teases as we head up the stairs.  “You know, the more I hear about these brothers of yours, the less I want to meet them.”

“Oh, you can’t judge them by the thing with Solas!  He was right, it’s an old family feud, one that’s probably best put to rest, at least for now if we’re going to have to work together.  My brothers are great; they’re just a little protective.”

“I know a thing or two about brothers from problems with my own, Bartrand.  Well, he’s far less trouble these days, I suppose.”

“What happened?” I inquire.

“He got exposed to red lyrium. Stuff drove him mad.  He’s getting help now, and he has his good days, but there are an awful lot of bad ones, too.”

“ _Red_ lyrium?”

“You hadn’t heard?  Stuff’s growing practically everywhere these days.  It’s like if lyrium had a scarier, evil older brother.  Corypheus has been using it to brainwash and corrupt his minions.”

“I don’t like the sounds of that.”   _Corruption?_ I wonder if Tenebris knows.

“Yeah, me either.”

We’d reached the library again, and I wave at Dorian.  He’s draped artfully sideways over an armchair, reading, and doesn’t seem to notice me.  “Dorian!” I call out, picking up my pace to walk over to him, a big grin on my face.  “I heard you were my champion last night.”

He raises his head to look at us.  “No, I believe that honor went to the _actual_ Champion.  And you, of course Varric.  But I was happy to assist.”

“Still, you barely know me, and you stood up for me...thanks,” I say.  “Sorry we can’t stay, I have to get to Declan, but I’ll see you later?”  

He smiles, and gives a wave before returning to reading.

“So about these brothers…” Varric starts.  “How many are we talking again?  Just in case they do show up and start trouble.”

“Three,” I answer with a smile.  “The eldest is my twin, and the other two are younger than us.”

“Three brothers, and one of them is your twin.  Maker, I don’t envy any man who tries to date you.  Or woman, whichever,” he says, covering his assumption awkwardly.

“Men,” I laugh.  “But I didn’t come here for romance.”

“Declan will be disappointed.  You know, come to think of it, Hawke has twin siblings.  Well, had, anyway.  One passed away.  His sister is alive and well and with the Grey Wardens now.”

“Again with the Grey Wardens,” I groan, rolling my eyes.

“Is this another dragon thing?”

“What else?  They kill the ancient ones.  That’s the worst of all.”

“But you’re talking about the Archdemons, though, right?  Surely you’re not suggesting they should just let _Blights_ happen?”

“Of course not, I just wish they knew a better way.”   _I can’t let on that I_ do _know another way, or next thing you know, I’ll be fighting Corypheus and his corrupted high dragon single-handedly for them._  “If his sister’s a Warden, though, it does explain how Garrett has a Warden friend in Crestwood.  You don’t suppose it’s her, do you?”

“No, I have a feeling I know who’s in Crestwood.  If I’m right, he’s an old friend of mine, too.  You know what, Firefly, you’ve just convinced me that I need to go.”

I smile at him.  “You just want to see how I stop a dragon without killing it.”

“Maybe.”  He grins back.  “But we’re here; that’s Cullen’s office up ahead.”

“You’re going in with me, then?” I ask.

He nods, and I open the door.  The Inquisitor is standing near a large desk, leaning forward over it, hand down on the table.  A large blonde man in armor stands behind the desk.  He’s handsome, despite his frowning.  It’s obvious we’ve walked into the middle of a heated discussion.

“Sorry, are we interrupting something?” I say, announcing our presence in case they hadn’t noticed the door opening.  Declan straightens up and sees me in the doorway.  

“Ferox, wow, you look really lovely today,” the Inquisitor greets me, and walks over.  He takes my hand and kisses me on the cheek, and I’m startled for a second.  “I’m sorry about yesterday.  We were rude to you, and after I invited you.”

“Apology accepted...but you can let go now,” I urge, pulling my hand out of his grasp.  “I take it this must be Commander Cullen?” I ask.

“Yes,” Cullen says, expelling a breath.  “Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition’s forces.  This is...a bit awkward, but we were actually just discussing you.”

“Oh?” I look at Declan, who blanches.

Cullen continues, “I’m not sure it’s wise to take an untried recruit out on such an important mission.  Not to offend, but you’re a wild card here, and I don’t approve of taking unnecessary chances with our people.”

“You may not know my capabilities yet, but I promise you, I’m worth taking the risk.  I have an ability with dragons that from all of your reactions, I’m sure you’ve never seen before.  But I’ve been doing it almost my whole life.  I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m going to need you to explain your plan a bit more,” he insists.

“I can explain it, but it’s going to sound far-fetched.  Seeing it will be better.”

“Try me,” he states, the expression on his handsome face unwavering.

“Fine. I create a barrier around myself out of primal magic, of the element that matches that of the dragon’s.  This cloaks me, makes me somewhat neutral in her eyes, allowing me to approach safely.  Then I talk to her in the language of dragons.”

“ _Talk_ to her?” Cullen asks, the vertical scar on his lip twitching as he arches an eyebrow in disbelief.  “Your plan is to _talk_ to a dragon?”

“High dragons are sentient beings and understand their own language.  I’m quite fluent in Draconic.  I know it sounds crazy, but it costs you nothing to let me try.  If I fail, I’ll be dead, you’ll be free of a madwoman, and can do whatever you like to the dragon.  But if I’m right...”

“You won’t have the support of the Inquisition’s forces.  You’ll be on your own.”

“I expected so.”

“Maker’s Breath, you _are_ mad,” he says, shaking his head.

Declan speaks up, “Or just very confident.  Like the lady said, though, it costs us nothing to try.  What if this can help us against Corypheus?  Or have you forgotten his little pet?  We’d be mad if we _didn’t_ let her try.”

“I suppose you’re right.  The expedition sets out this afternoon.  Ferox, you will be a part of it.  You will head first to Caer Bronach, and from there, to the lake, where the dragon was last spotted.”

“Sounds perfect,” I acknowledge with a grin.  

His annoyed expression wavers for a moment, but he shakes his head and it’s back again.  

“So...who all else will be going?” I query.

Declan is the one who answers.  “Me, of course, and Hawke.  You, and the Iron Bull.”

“What about Varric?” I ask.

“What about him?”

“What do you mean, what about him?  Varric wants to go,” I explain.

“Firefly, you don’t have to do that,” Varric protests.

 _Did he want me not to say something?  He’s acting strangely.  He just said a minute ago that he wanted to go.  Did he change his mind after I talked about my plan?_  I look at him in confusion.

“Is that so?” Declan asks.  “We could probably make room for one more, I suppose.”

“Guess I’m in, then,” he says to Declan but keeps his eyes on me.


	7. Setting Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox and the boys set out for Crestwood and have an interesting conversation over dinner.

Chapter Seven: Setting Out

 

I take a deep breath, and the fresh scent of wet earth and pine needles is a welcome respite from the wood fires of Skyhold.  Only one day there, and it already felt good to be back on the road again.   Unfortunately, leaving today means I have to forgo my chat with Solas and spending any time with Dorian or the others I’d met, at least until we return.  I can see for miles as we descend the mountains on our way back through Ferelden.  

I hold the reins to a large black stallion, lent to me by a rather reluctant Master Dennet.  After I showed him I knew how to care for the beast, he was more comfortable with me riding him.  I had considered asking for one of the dracolisks, but I figured that would have been taking things a bit far.  We’re walking the mounts currently, as the path is still too narrow to ride.  I reach out and touch the muzzle of my horse.  He huffs, but lets me.  “You’re a beautiful animal,” I tell him in a soothing tone.  Dennet had told me his name was Darkforge.

Hawke hears me talking to the horse, looks over, and smiles at me.  I’m glad that I’m going on this trip with friends.  I was worried it might be some of the ones who don’t like me very much, like Vivienne, or Cullen.  But, if this all goes according to plan, they won’t be able to deny I know what I’m doing when it comes to dragons anymore.  I’ll  _ make _ them listen.

Hawke slows his pace to walk near me.  “You like animals, don’t you?”

“Some, yes.  Horses are magnificent creatures.  I mostly like birds, though.”

“Because they remind you of dragons?” he teases.

“Not everything is about dragons,” I laugh.  “I’ve just always liked birds.  I think I wish I had the ability to fly,” I admit, looking up at the clear sky.

“That would be something,” he concedes.  “So Varric tells me you plan on just asking the dragon to leave nicely?”

“Don’t give me that look, Garrett.  I’ve done this dozens of times before.  It’ll work.”

“I think I’m actually starting to believe you,” he says, the smile returning to his face.

“You’re a bad liar,” I tell him, but I laugh, regardless.

*             *             *

The trip to Crestwood takes several days on horseback.  It passes quickly with good company.  Between The Iron Bull, Maeven, Hawke, Varric, and the always hovering Declan, I’m rarely alone.  I wish I could report back to Etiam, but I haven’t had a moment that I could really sneak off long enough.  I’m hoping our first stop at Crestwood Village, or at least Caer Bronach will provide an opportunity.

We come over a rise and the lake becomes visible.  Darkforge gives a toss of his head and steps to the side.   _ He’s nervous.   _ I look around.  It  _ is _ kind of creepy here.  The constant moisture in the air has left a slick coating on nearly every surface.  It hasn’t rained in days, and yet the air here is thick and humid.  Below us, I can see the remains of what used to be Old Crestwood: skeletal frames of what were homes once, other foundations washed clean of any dwellings at all, and old boats shattered and useless lying haphazardly against the rocks.  

It’s still daylight, but it’s already past midday.  Our plan is to stop in Crestwood Village to rest the horses, and depending on how quickly we get there, head to Caer Bronach either this evening or first thing tomorrow.  

Declan pulls up beside me, looking out over the landscape below.  “We managed to drain the lake the last time we were here.  There was a rift deep underground, over there,” he says, pointing out at the middle of the lake.  “It was affecting everything, even causing the dead to rise.  It doesn’t look like it’s gotten much better since we closed it.”

“This place makes me uneasy, to be honest.  I imagine there are a lot of restless spirits down there.  There were people in the village when it flooded, right?”

“Yes,” he says, his answer uncharacteristically short.   _ This place must rattle him too. _  “The old mayor did it on purpose to avoid a contagion.  We have him at Skyhold awaiting judgement.”

“You’re not comfortable with spirits, are you?”

“That obvious?” he chuckles.  “Ghosts and spiders.”  He shakes his head at the confession.  

“What about Cole then?” I ask, curious to hear his take on the boy from the tavern.

“Cole is a little different - he at least looks human.  So many of the others don’t, and they’re difficult to understand at times.”

“I know what you mean.  My younger brother, Etiam, is a spirit mage.  I’ve had a few dealings with the beings of the Fade.  It gets a little easier with practice, but I still find it unnerving.  I bet my brother would have some ideas about Crestwood, were he here.”

“I’m curious to hear more about you and your siblings.  All four of you are mages?” Declan asks.

“Yes, magic runs very strong in our family.  We all have slightly different talents, though.”

“So they couldn’t do this thing you do with dragons?” he wonders.

“Maybe, but I’m probably better at it than they would be.  Just like I  _ can _ talk to spirits, but I’m not that good on calling on them for spirit magic.  Because of my elemental abilities, I’m better suited to working with dragons than they would be.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” he admits.

*             *             *

We ride for a while longer, and stop at the village.  Talking with the locals, we learn that things have stabilized a little in the area.  The bandits are less of a problem now, and the dead have stopped rising from the lake, but they make sure to tell us about the dragon terrorizing the south.  

After dismounting and taking care of our horses, the villagers give us the old mayor’s house to rest for a bit and offer us food.  I, for one, am grateful.  Hot food after days on the road sounds amazing.

A fire blazes in the fireplace of the large room.  The furniture has mostly been removed, but there are various crates and sacks stacked around.  It appears that this place has been used for storage since the previous occupant was arrested and taken away.

I find a spot on a crate that looks sturdy enough to hold me, and I sit, my plate of food still in my hand.  Hawke sits next to me, his long legs stretching out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle.  My own barely reach the floor.  I look up to find him watching me.

“What?”

“You’ve got a little something...here, let me,” he states, reaching out his thumb to touch my cheek, rubbing away whatever it was he saw.  I haven’t eaten anything yet, maybe it’s dirt from riding.  I blush at the unexpected contact.  I’m not used to people touching me without asking.  Back home, other than my family, of course, that would never have been permitted.  But Hawke seems comfortable doing it.

“Did you get it?” I ask hesitantly.

He doesn’t get a chance to answer, as Declan comes and sits by us.  “I hope it’s okay to join you two.”

“Of course, Declan,” I say, grateful for the interruption.  I notice Varric and Maeven sitting a short distance away, and Bull is leaning against the wall.

“Ferox, if I may, I’d like to ask you a person question.  Would that be alright?” Declan asks.

_ Uh oh. _  “I guess so?”

“Is there someone special waiting on you somewhere?” he questions.

“Okay, that  _ is  _ a bit personal.  But no, other than my brothers, I don’t have anybody I’m close with.”

“Wait,” Varric interrupts.  “Then what was that thing Cole was going on about…he didn’t leave you because he didn’t love you, I think it went.”

“That was about my twin, Lucis.  The woman he loved died in a fire.  He never really got over it, and it drove a wedge between us too.  Things haven’t been the same since it happened.”

Declan smiles.  “So if you don’t have someone special back home, is there someone you’re interested in now?”  His eyes flick to Hawke and back to me.  I know what he means.

“I came to the Inquisition for a reason, and it isn’t that.  Once I’m done here, I’ll likely resume my travels with my family.”

“You didn’t exactly say no,” he points out.  “Okay, then answer this:  if you  _ were _ interested in someone, what kind of man would you be looking for?”

“I haven’t really given the matter much thought.  But I guess if I had to choose, I’d say someone kind, mature.”

“Well, that rules this bunch out,” Bull comments, and everyone laughs, including me.

“Okay since I had to answer, so do you all,” I pout.

Maeven goes first.  “If I had someone like that, I doubt I’d have joined the Inquisition, or least joined it by myself.”

Iron Bull states, “There aren’t really relationships under the Qun. That’s not something we put much thought into, either.”

“I had someone once, but she left me,” Garrett confesses.  “Tore my heart out and ran off with it, along with a damned book that almost started a war.  There hasn’t been anyone since then.”

I notice neither Declan or Varric are jumping to answer.  “Declan?” I prompt.  “You started this, you don’t get off the hook that easy.”

He seems reluctant to respond.  “I should think it’s obvious.  I’m not seeing anyone, and there’s someone I’m interested in.  However, it appears the interest is not mutual.”

“Is friendship such a bad thing?” I ask.

“No, it’s not,” he concedes with a sad smile.

Hawke looks at Varric.  “You haven’t said anything either.  Do we finally get to hear a real story about the past of the great Varric Tethras?”

“It’s...complicated.”

“Varric…” I say, concerned.

“Don’t poke, Firefly.  It’s not just  _ my _ story to tell.  There are reasons I can’t get into it.  But suffice to say, that no, I’m not in a relationship.  And yes, I suppose there is someone…”

“Oh, come on,” Declan whines.  “That just makes me want to know  _ more _ .”

“Might as well give it up,” Garrett advises.  “Dwarves are known for their stubbornness.  Varric will only think up an elaborate lie if you push him.”

We finish eating and mount back up.  There’s just enough daylight left that the others believe we can make it to Caer Bronach before dark if we ride hard.  

We make it, but barely, and ride through the gates with just enough light to see.  Thankfully the keep is already partially staffed, and torches are lit to guide our way inside.

We’re greeted by a pretty elf dressed in Inquisition garb, the sleeker version that I have been told is part of the spymaster’s division.  “Welcome back, Inquisitor,” she says, taking the reins of Declan’s horse as he dismounts.  I also climb off Darkforge and give him a quick pat.

“We’ll give your horses a good rub down, don’t worry,” the elf says.

“Are you Charter by any chance?” Maevan asks.

She nods.

“I’m Maeven.  Mother Giselle sent me from Skyhold to help the merchants.  She said to report to you.” Maeven extends a letter with flowing script on the front to the elf.

“Did she now?”  Charter looks at the note and nods.  “Alright then, head through that door over there,” she instructs Maeven, “Go see Tressa at the first stall, she’ll get you set up.

“Goodbye Ferox,” Maeven says, and gives me a hug.  “I’ll see you off in the morning, okay?”

“Of course you will, and we’ll be back soon.  We’ll see each other again, don’t worry,” I reassure her.

Charter continues, “The rest of you can come with me.  We have quarters up in one of the towers.  There  _ are _ plenty of rooms, but unfortunately not all of them have been cleared yet.  Some of you will have to share.”

She had said  _ some. _ _ That means I’ll get my own room tonight, and I can finally contact Etiam.   _ I was relieved as we followed her up the stairs.  But, in the end, there were only two rooms for the 5 of us.  Either someone is sleeping on the floor, or I’m going to have to share a room with someone.

Of course Declan offers, and I just shake my head.  “Probably not a good idea,” I state.

“I’ll do it,” Varric says.  I look over and see him frowning.  I remember him saying over dinner that he had someone that he was interested in.   _ Bianca _ , I thought.   _ Has to be. _  If he has someone already, then I can be comfortable around him without worrying.

“Okay Varric,” I say, nodding my agreement.

Declan protests.  “How is that any different?  Just because he’s a dwarf?”

“It’s just for tonight; it will be fine, Declan,” I tell him.  “I promise I can keep my hands out of his amazing chest hair for one night.”

Varric laughs.  “Why Firefly, I didn’t realize you’d noticed.”

“How could I not?  It’s so thick and manly!” I say, playing it up for Declan’s sake.

“Oh, the horrors of being this good-looking,” he sighs, and we both have a good laugh.  I glance over and catch Hawke and Bull grinning.

Declan grumbles.  “It’s not you I’m worried about,” he says under his breath.


	8. A Private Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox sneaks off to contact her brother, but things don't go exactly according to plan...

Chapter Eight: A Private Conversation

  


Varric turned to me the moment we shut the door.  “You really sure you’re alright with this?  I can take the blankets and go bunk on the floor with the others.”

“Yeah, Bianca makes you off-limits, right?”

He tosses a confused glance at his crossbow for a moment before realization dawns on his face.  “Andraste’s ass, I _knew_ you saw that letter.  How much of it did you read?”

I wince at the curse. _Sorry Lucis, going to let that one slide._  “Just the name, but I knew it was the name of your crossbow, and then you said you had an interest in someone, but that things were complicated, and I put two and two together.”

“Right,” he mutters.

“Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to the others, but I’m sure some of them have drawn the same conclusion on their own.  Still, if you ever need to talk about things, I can keep a secret.  You’ve been there for me enough that it would be nice to repay the favor.”

“I appreciate it, but no.  If you want to repay me, do it by not dying tomorrow with the dragon.”

“Alright, Varric, we can change the subject, just one last thing: for what it’s worth, she’s a lucky woman, your Bianca.”

He smiles, but I can’t tell what it means, otherwise.

“And for the last time I’m not going to die,” I add, shaking my head.

*             *             *

We turn in for the night, and I wait for a while until I hear his breathing even out, and I know he’s asleep.  I saw a place on the way in that I think will be good for what I need.  I  slide out of bed and grab my boots, but don’t bother to put them on in the room, as it will make too much noise.  I open the door, taking one last look at Varric’s form, but his posture and breathing haven’t changed.   _Still asleep, then._ I slip out the door and into the night.

The corridor outside is deserted. I head down the passage for a while, then stop and pull on my boots.  I don’t much care if the other residents of Caer Bronach see me, so I’m not exactly stealthing, but I don’t want to run into any of my traveling companions.  They’ll ask too many questions.  I remembered seeing a door behind one of the booths.  It looked little used, and hopefully will offer the privacy I’m looking for.   _Yes, there it is!_  

I duck quickly behind the booths and try the door.  Not locked.  It opens quietly, which surprises me given the state of disrepair this place is in. I light a torch before closing the door behind me.  This appears to be a wine cellar.  It’s perfect.  I head to the back and kneel down behind the last row of barrels.  I pull off my pendant and hold it in front of me with one hand.  I open the locket and call on the magic of the Well.  A wavering blue glow permeates the room, akin to light reflecting off the surface of clear water.  

“Etiam?” I say aloud.  There’s no response for a moment, so I say it again, “Etiam, are you there?”  A face appears, but it’s not who I expected.  “Tenebris!” I gasp.  “I, um...wasn’t expecting you to answer.”

My brother’s image is visible, hovering in the magic above the locket.  He and I are the only siblings to have dark hair; but on him, the striking dark locks are anything but feminine.  His hair reaches a little beyond his shoulders, framing a handsome face with a rugged jaw.  He wears no facial hair, just the mild shadow of stubble.  Bright blue eyes the same hue as mine stare at me.

“What are you playing at, Ferox?  Etiam says you went and joined the Inquisition.  What purpose do your games serve?  Stop toying with those people and come home.”

“You know my purpose here, Tenebris.  I have to save the dragons.”

“So go save them.  Why bother with the pathetic Inquisition?  You and I both know we don’t need them.”

“I’m trying to do this the right way.  If they can be convinced to stop on their own...”

“You want to share our secrets; are you mad?  You’re getting too close with them, Ferox!  Need I remind you what happened to Lucis when he let his guard down and trusted their kind?  What happened to all of us?  There’s a reason we don’t go among them.  You’re forgetting what’s at stake.”

“No, _you’re_ forgetting!  Without the dragons all of Thedas will fall.  And I swear, Tenebris, if I find out you helped Corypheus build that thing, I swear I-”

“Of course I didn’t do that,” he says, cutting me off.  “I treasure the dragons as much as you do.  But you’re not listening.  Where are you, exactly?  It looks like a basement,” he comments, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“I knew you wouldn’t understand, that’s why I didn’t tell you I was leaving.  Don’t come here, Tenebris.”

“I’ll see you soon,” he says and his face disappears, the connection to the Well lost.

“Well, shit,” a voice comments behind me.  “You don’t see that every day.”

My eyes widen in shock and I turn to find Varric standing with Hawke near the cellar door.   _Damn it, reflexes like a twitchy cat, how could I have forgotten?_

Garrett frowns at me.  “I think you owe us an explanation,” he says, his tone deadly serious.

“Okay,” I agree, closing the locket. I stand up and fasten it around my neck again.  “Do you want to go somewhere more comfortable?”

“We can use our room,” Varric decides, and we head back up to the tower.

I open the door first and sit on the bed.  Unsurprisingly, with his strange boundary issues, Hawke sits next to me.  Varric sits on his own bed, and they both look at me expectantly.

“I’ve never seen magic like that before,” Garrett states.  “Why don’t we start there.”

“Very well.  I’ve already told you that my family is a bit...different,” I begin.  “We’ve studied rare magics and traveled the word in order to seek them out.  I’d be surprised if you had heard of much of what we do, Garrett.  No offense, it’s just not things that are normally taught in the Circle.  That particular one was a communication spell.  I was using it to contact my brother Etiam, but that wasn’t him you saw.”

“One of the other brothers, then?” Varric clarifies.

“Yes, the youngest, Tenebris,” I confirm, nodding.  “I hadn’t told him I was leaving. Etiam was the only one who knew.  Tenebris is a bit of a hot-head, and I didn’t think he’d take it well.  I was right; he’s angry with me.  He thinks I shouldn’t share our magic with the world.  We’ve kept mostly to ourselves for a long time.”

“And what was that about Corypheus?  You suspect your brother of helping him?” Garrett asks.

“Tenebris’s favored area of study has always been the darker arts, including corruption magic: entropy.”

“Blood magic,” Varric interjects.

“Sometimes, yes.  Blood magic, while abhorrent, needs to be understood.  Even if we don’t use it, how will we know how to counter it if we don’t study it?”

They’re both thoughtful for a moment.

“Studying darker magics is useful.  He also studied the darkspawn taint.  It’s how I know Corypheus’s dragon is most definitely _not_ an Archdemon.  We’d know.  Your favorites, the Grey Wardens, would know.  It’s just a poor, corrupted high dragon.  But I have no idea how Corypheus managed such a thing.  Tenebris knows more about that kind of magic than any other living mage that I know of.  I’m sure Corypheus would love to get his hands on half of what my brother knows.”

“And do you believe him when he says he didn’t do it?” Hawke asks.

“I do.  Tenebris is many things, but he’s usually not a liar.  At least not to me.  And he does care about the dragons. I don’t see Corypheus being able to offer anything that would sway him to hurt them.”

“He sounded like he was coming here,” Varric points out.

“Yes, I’m sure we’ll have to deal with his company at some point.  At least it’s him and not Lucis that found out.  I doubt he’d ever forgive me.”

“Lucis is the twin,” Varric tells Hawke.

“And here I thought my family was complicated,” Garrett says, shaking his head.  “So Etiam was the spirit mage, this Tenebris studies entropy and corruption, and you’re a master of elemental magic.  What’s the last brother a specialist in?”

“Creation and nature,” I answer.

“Of course, the four schools of magic, Creation, Primal, Spirit and Entropy.  You each picked one.”

 _Technically, we each had_ taught _one centuries ago, and they were named after us._ But, I’m not about to admit to that, so I just nod.

“Now do you want to tell me why you were eavesdropping on a private conversation?” I ask them both.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping...not on purpose,” Varric jokes, and I’m reminded of my first day at Skyhold.  Those had been some of my first words after I’d been caught watching Hawke and Declan.

I can’t help it, I grin.  “Cute, but not an answer.”

“Varric was concerned,” Hawke states.  “He heard you sneak off, and was worried you might be running away.”

“Why would I do that?” I question.

Varric replies, “Oh, you know, the whole ‘death by dragon’ thing that you’re going up against tomorrow.  Although after seeing the little display back there, I’m willing to admit you know a lot more about magic than I thought was possible.”

“I wasn’t running away, Varric, I just didn’t want to have to explain _more_ weird abilities.  I’m enough of a freak as it is,” I sigh.

“Firefly, if you can pull that dragon shit off tomorrow, I’d say the world _miracle_ applies more than freak.”

“Then tomorrow, I’ll be a walking miracle.  And maybe you’ll learn to trust me a bit more,” I say, the last bit with pointed looks at both of them.  

“So, Garrett…” I start.

“Yes?” he asks.

“You planning on staying all night or something?  You should go cuddle with Varric if that’s the case, because I’d like to get some sleep tonight.”

He laughs, but gets up to go.  “See you both in the morning.”


	9. Showing Off

Chapter Nine: Showing Off

 

“Firefly?” Varric says, shaking me awake.

“Hnnggwhat?” I mumble in my sleepy state.

“If you want any breakfast before we leave, you’ll need to get up.”

“Okay,” I say and rub my eyes.  

“I’ll meet you there, then,” he adds, before opening the door and leaving.  

 _Guess he wants to give me some privacy to get ready._  I look over and see that his things are already gone from the room, which tells me he’s obviously been up for a while.  I get out of bed and straighten the clothes I’m still wearing from yesterday.  No sense in changing if we’re just going back on the road today.  I re-braid my hair and grab my things before heading out, giving one long last look at the comfortable bed.

The keep is awake and bustling this morning.  I descend the stairs and find the main hall, where breakfast is already underway.  Looks like I’m the last one up.  Grateful Varric let me sleep in a little, I follow the delicious scent of food.  I grab a plate with a couple of sausages and toast.  It’s not the most visually appealing meal I’ve ever eaten, but it smells amazing.  I take an available seat with the others, between Declan and Bull.

“Morning,” I greet them cheerfully.

“Yeah, you still have a little of that left,” Bull jokes.  “We were worried we’d have to drag the bed with us on the road today if you didn’t get up.”

“Oh stars, that sounds so much better than walking or riding!  Can we still go with that plan?” I ask.

“Nope, princess.  Too late.”

“So we’re going after the dragon first, right?” I clarify with Declan.

“Yes, we’d like to eliminate it as a threat as soon as possible,” he confirms.  “It would probably make traveling difficult anyway, so it’s best to see to it now.”

“That sounds great.  So here’s the strategy: you all hang back, and let me go in alone to try talking with it.  Don’t attack.”

“I’ll give you a chance," Declan says, "but we’re not leaving here while that thing is still a danger to the locals.  If you fail, we kill it.”

“I won’t fail, but okay, Inquisitor.”  I grin.

We walk outside after breakfast, and I say my goodbyes with Maeven.  “You’re absolutely sure about this, Ferox?  You don’t have to do this.”

“Apparently I do.  They’re not going to believe me until they see it.  I’ve got this, Maeven, promise.”

“I’ll pray for you,” she tells me.   _Her faith is reassuring, even if it’s a bit misplaced._  

“Thanks.”

We mount up and ride hard to the south on the main road.  After a short distance, Declan signals us to slow and stop, and I wonder why, but then I notice the green sparks emanating through his glove.  He points into the distance and I see a swirling glow of magic in a similar green color.  Ah, a Fade rift.  I’ve seen these through the Well, but it’s the first time I’m getting a look at one up close.  Yet again, I wish I had Etiam’s spirit knowledge.  Where there are rifts, there are demons, and he would have been helpful here.

We leave the horses, as they’d only spook in battle.  Glancing around, I notice that we’re near a farmhouse.  It appears in good repair, and I give a silent hope that the occupants, if they’re still inside, are okay.  Brandishing my staff, I follow the others into range of the rift.  Once we are close, it expands, green beams of light streaming outward, creating shimmering bursts where they strike the ground.  Immediately, I cast barrier on the five of us, and Garrett gives me a smirk of approval.

“Beat me to it,” he says.

“Keep mine going when it fades then. Focus, Hawke,” I reply, deliberately not calling him by his first name in effort to help him pay attention.  

The bubbling pools of energy on the ground radiate outward with an explosive pulse, and out of each, a demon emerges.  I recognize the type of the one nearest me.  Despair demon, cold, and small.   _I know what to do with those_.  I charge up my fireball spell, feeling the all-too familiar energy rising up within me, magical wind from an unseen source stirring the tickling tendrils of hair around my face.

I thrust my staff forwards, and a column of flame erupts from the crystal at the tip.  It engulfs the despair demon, and it screeches with a high-pitched resonance as it writhes in pain.  I keep the column burning for a bit, until I’m sure I’ve depleted its energy. It dissipates, the material that made up its physical form being sucked back into the rift.   _Good, spirit, return to the Fade, to your previous form.  I’m sorry this thing pulled you here against your will.  Be at peace._

A barrier surrounds me this time, and I grin at Hawke, who doesn’t spare me much of a glance.  He’s fighting a terror demon.  It’s all spindly legs and gangly movement, but I see it hop into a glowing pool under its feet and I realize its strategy.

“Hawke, move!” I yell and ready my spell.

“I know, Andraste’s knickers, woman, you think I haven’t fought demons before?” he shouts back, backpedaling away from the area.  As if on cue, the terror demon pops back up through a similar portal and engages Garrett again.  Guess he can handle it.

I spare a second to look around me, but there are no demons nearby.  I spot Declan near the rift.  Green energy bolts out of his hand and connects with the glow of the rift.  The rift itself seems to have solidified into a strange crystal formation, but as I watch, Declan’s actions seem to be weakening it and it flies back open.

On the other side, I see Varric and Bull taking on another terror demon.  It jumps up immediately in front of Varric and I feel a moment of panic, but he fires a bolt from Bianca and leaps backwards in a graceful arc.   _I knew he wasn’t ‘too old for this stuff’, look at him move!_  Bull takes advantage of the creature’s moment of distraction to slam into it with a giant double-bladed greataxe.  Perfect teamwork.

The demons all disposed of for the moment, the Fade rift gives a ripple.  I pause, expecting more demons to appear, but Declan walks closer, the beam of energy again emitting from his outstretched palm.  He makes a swiping motion and closes his fist, as if tugging on some great thread, and the rift closes.  He beams in triumph.

“Everyone okay?” I ask after the debris settles.

“Wow, I really wasn’t expecting that from you.  You’re quite the little mother hen, aren’t you?” Hawke says, coming over to ruffle my hair.

“Hey!” I protest knocking his hand away.  “I’ve just never fought with you guys before.”

“I think it’s cute that you worry,” Declan adds.  “But this wasn’t our first bout with demons, and I doubt it will be our last.  This was an easy one, too.”

“What was that about needing to trust more, Firefly?” Varric adds.

Bull stretches.  “Nothing like a good fight with demons after breakfast to set the day off right.”

I laugh.   _This bunch, seriously_.  “Yeah, yeah, I got it.  You’re all badasses and can do this with your eyes closed.”  I roll my eyes.

We collect the remnants left behind of the demons’ physical forms, and return to our mounts.  I see a farmer peek out of the nearby house and smile to myself.   _The Inquisition does seem to be doing some good, after all._  I think back on Tenebris’s statements as we ride.  I knew he was going to be angry, but I didn’t expect him to want to come here.  It’s unlike him to want to directly interact with the world, preferring more subtle moves.   _What’s his agenda?_

The ride takes a couple more hours and it’s close to midday when we reach the southern region known as the Black Fens.  I rein in Darkforge and assess the terrain ahead.  We’ve been heading downhill for some time, and I know this area borders on the edge of the giant lake.  With the lake drained, the waters should have receded from this area already, but the higher elevation means more rocky cliff faces than sandy shores.

A roar erupts from nearby.   _Dragon!_  I hop off my mount and head to the nearest high point, a boulder, to get a better view.  I scramble up the side of the rock and peer into the distance.  There she is, perching among the ruins of an old keep.

“Seems we found our dragon,” Declan comments, climbing up to join me.

“She’s beautiful,” I breathe.  “That’s a Northern Hunter, lightning type.  Her movements are strange, though.”

“What do you mean?” Bull asks as he comes to look with us.

“Do you see how she’s not really flying?  More...hopping and gliding?  That may be a high dragon, but just barely.  I’d put her just past the mature stage in aging.” I sigh.  “This is going to be a bit more difficult than I thought.”

“How so?” Varric asks from down below.

“If she’s just achieved high status, she’s not going to understand the language as well.  Think of it like trying to talk to a child...or a teenager, for that matter.  They tend to struggle with concentration and not want to listen.  And if you use words they don’t understand, they lose interest completely.”

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” Garrett offers.  “We can still do this the other way.”

“No, I’ve got it, it’s just going to be tricky.”

The dragon is massive.  Her scales are a dark reddish-brown in color, with bright white stripes on her tail.  Her legs are as wide as probably two of me, at least, if not three.  Her horns curl around her face from the back of her head, and jut forward to the sides of her powerful jaws like some kind of massive tusks.  Ribbons of violet magical light filter out through her neck and face, showing the lightning storm brewing inside.  Her eyes are deep set, nearly hidden in the protrusions of bone and horn.

I walk forward, still out of range, descending the slope confidently, watching her movements.  She hops here and there, landing atop one of the towers of the abandoned keep, the movement sending crumbling stone scattering to the ground below.  She bellows, an ear-splitting screech that’s music to my ears.

It’s time.

I hold my staff horizontally in front of me and start the incantation.  I slowly twirl the staff, connecting the static force underneath the ground into a tangible circle of magic beneath me.  I pull down the electric charge from the sky and connect the two into a long thin ribbon of energy.  I spin in a circle, pulling the ribbon around me like a curtain, continuing the twirls and dips of my staff.   Finally, I slam the end down in the ground, causing a cascade of sparks to erupt from it, shooting upward as the cylinder shape jets toward the heavens.  The dragon takes notice, and turns her head, curious as to this new phenomenon.  I let go of the staff and gather the edges of the curtain around me, closing the gap.  I pick up my staff again.   _I’m ready._

The cylindrical curtain follows me as I move.  “Hello pretty girl,” I say in Draconic.  “You look like you’re having fun.  May I speak with you?”

The dragon shakes its head, confused, but doesn’t move from her perch atop the tower.  She stares at me.  

“This will be easier if you come down,” I suggest.

The dragon unleashes a blast of lightning, but not in my direction, only as a threat.  I don’t move.  She spreads her wings, and glides from the top of the tower, circling me for a moment before setting down with a crash of her massive feet.  Her talons dig deep in the earth and her tail twitches in irritation.

“I know girl, I’m the same.  Always a storm brewing inside.” I meet her eyes, and allow the  magic to flow from me to her.  “See my magic?  We’re kindred souls.”

The dragon calms, interested in me now.  Her tail stops flicking violently, and becomes a much slower movement.

“Good, calm, dearest.  I mean you no harm, but I do come on behalf of the humans here,” I say.

Twitch, flick.

“Now, they’re not so bad, they just don’t understand creatures such as you or I.  It’s hard when you have the storm raging.  But they are fragile, and fragile beings give in to fear.  If you stay, they will eventually come to hurt you.  It might be best if you find another place to play.”

Her head turns again…and she finally speaks, her voice echoing in my head, “Where...where can I play?”

“You don’t know other spaces?  Tall mountains maybe, or caverns with no humans?”

“No.”

“Would you like to journey with me, then?  We can stay together until we find such a place.”

“And the people will be less afraid?  Not hurt me?”

“Yes, dearest.  I won’t let them hurt you.  I’ll make them all see how beautiful and special we both are.  Just follow slowly.  We don’t want to startle them.”

I walk calmly up the slope again, letting the curtain fall, the glittering sparks of light fading away, and drifting off into the breeze.

The expressions on everyone’s faces is priceless when they see me leading the dragon up to the hillside.  Everyone is speechless, jaws hanging open.  Well, except Declan.  He’s grinning ear to ear.  

“That was hands down, the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!” he raves.

“Calm down, Declan, don’t spook her.  She’s new at this.”

I turn back to the dragon, and continue speaking to her in Draconic.  “My name is Ferox.  What do you call yourself?”

She looks confused again.  “I...don’t know…”

“You’ve only just become a high dragon.  The speech gets easier with time.  Perhaps you would like some suggestions?”

“Yes, I think I would.”

“Um, guys,” I say, turning to the rest of the group.  “She doesn’t have a name, and wants suggestions.  Any ideas?”

“How about Miracle?” Varric offers in a low whisper.

I convey this to her, and explain what it means.  She likes the idea.  “Miracle it is,” I announce.  “She needs a new place to roost.  Somewhere away from humans, of course.”

“There’s a mountain range near here.  Inhospitable to humans, but plenty of rams up that way.  It should serve nicely,” Declan recommends.

I report it back to Miracle.  She licks her lips.  “I like ram,” she says.

“Sounds like it’ll do.  Directions?”  After playing intermediary between them, Miracle believes she has enough information to find the place, and to avoid any known settlements on the way.

“Good luck, Miracle,” I wish her.

“You’re not coming?” she asks.

“I’m still needed here.  But I’ll try to visit someday, okay?”

“Okay.  I’ll try to not eat _all_ the rams.”

“That’s a lovely thought, thank you.”

She steps up, flaps her wings experimentally, and takes a long leap.  I shake my head.  Still not flying, but she’s getting better.  Once she’s out of sight, I turn back to the group again.  “Now, about Hawke’s Warden friend…”

“Oh no you don’t.  I want to hear how you did that,” Garrett responds.

“Yeah, that was badass!  I’ve got to learn that one,” Bull adds.

“Nope, trade secrets.  Besides, you have to be a mage, Bull.  Unless you’re hiding something major, I doubt it would work for you.”

He looks disappointed.  “Well, can we go find some more demons?  I need to hit something.”

“I think we can manage that,” Declan declares.


	10. Sleeping Arrangements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um...this chapter is where things get a little silly, lol. The characters have taken over, I take no responsibility.

Chapter 10: Sleeping Arrangements

 

With Miracle safely off to her new home in the mountains, we head north again.  I’m grateful for Darkforge.  I hate to think what this trek would have been like had we been making it on foot.  What starts as a gradual slope uphill grows steeper and steeper with each passing mile.  There are no more Fade rifts or enemies in our path, much to Iron Bull’s disappointment.

It’s sunset again when we reach an Inquisition camp at the base of the foothills.  We dismount and find a few agents already here, having set up the camp and maintained it in Declan’s absence.

Garrett announces, “My friend is holed up in a nearby cave.  If we go first thing in the morning, we should make it back to Caer Bronach by dusk.”

“Sounds good to me.  I’ll take a bed over the hard ground any day,” I state.  “Speaking of...” I sigh, looking at the tents.  There are two tents, but with the extra three agents, we’re still stuck sharing, and this time, it’s four in one tent, three in the other, while one agent stands guard.  I shake my head.  They’re somewhat large tents, but we’re going to be close together, regardless.  Ours, of course, is the smaller of the two.  I look at Varric, who nods.

“I’ll join you this time,” Declan offers.

“Still not a good idea, Declan,” I reply.  “We’ll go with Hawke.  Varric will make sure he minds his manners.”

Garrett seems a bit surprised, but shrugs.  We arrange our bedrolls inside.  Since there is still the ever present damp here in Crestwood, Garrett and Varric agree to take the outer sections of the tent near the edges, leaving me with a better chance of staying dry in the middle.   _Such gentlemen._

“Why did you choose me?” Garrett asks quietly once we’ve made the arrangements.

“Because I still want to contact my brother and you two won’t raise a fuss when I sneak out in a little bit.”

“Oh, right,” he responds, a small smile forming on his face.  “So it’s not because of my devilish good looks.”

I laugh, and playfully slap him on the arm.  “Knock it off, I told you I’m not here for that sort of thing.”

“But, for the record, I _am_ really good-looking,” he jokes.

“Then how could I possibly stand a chance, when you’re already so in love with yourself?” I retort with a chuckle of my own.

“She’s got you there, Hawke,” Varric comments.  “We should turn in.  We’ve got a long day ahead of us again tomorrow.”

“Not a bad idea,” I agree.  “Hopefully we can get back to Skyhold soon and everyone will listen now when I try to tell them about the dragons.”

“Firefly, after what I saw, I think you could ask for a private suite for them at this point and get it,” Varric responded, sitting down on his pallet near the angled roof of the tent.

I crawl into my own blankets.  “Told you I wouldn’t die.”

“You made believers out of all of us,” Garrett says with sincerity, pulling his covers up to protect him from the chill in the air.  He has a bit more difficulty sitting up in the sloping tent due to his height, and after messing with it for a couple of seconds, gives up and puts his head down.  I smile at him before turning away.

“Goodnight, boys,” I say, and blow out the lantern.

I wait for the right moment, until I can’t hear the noises of talking from the other tent, and at least one snore.  Then, throwing the covers off, I make my way out of the tent.  I peek out of the flap, but there is only the one guard on duty.  He’s looking the other way, and I _could_ sneak past him, but I decide a direct approach is probably best.

I walk up to the agent, who notices my footsteps, and whisper “I need a moment of privacy,” allowing him to think what he will about my need for it.  He looks a little uncomfortable but nods.  “Latrines are that way,” he gestures, to a small area around a rock formation.  Close enough.

I head toward the latrines, but keep going, finding a small depression in the rock that should shield the light from reaching anyone.  It’s not a full cave, really, but it will do.  I kneel down again, take out the locket, open it, and bring the magic to life.  The pendant emits the blue glow, and I’m relieved to see Etiam’s face already there.

“Where were you yesterday?  Tenebris caught me trying to contact you.”

“I know, sorry, I stepped away from the Well for a moment.”

“And you just _told_ him I was with the Inquisition?  Way to keep a secret, brother.”

“I warned you not to go to that place.  It seems I was correct.  Your thinking is being compromised by your affection for the humans.  They’re not our people anymore.  The magisters saw to that long ago.  You don’t have a place there with them. You belong at home with us.

“I saved a dragon today, Etiam.  A newly grown high dragon; she was beautiful.  They would have cut her down, but I was able to save her.”

“One out of how many, Ferox?  Don’t forget that Razikale and Lusacan still sleep.  Do you think they’ll just sit by and let you save them too?  The dragons of Thedas are already lost, sister.  Your efforts are pointless.”

“No, I refuse to believe that.  You, with all your logic, and you won’t listen to reason.  We _need_ the dragons to stay alive here.  If the killings stop, there could even be some that live to become ancients.  Imagine it, new ancient dragons, new magic born into the world to replace that which we lost, but you’re not giving me a chance.”

“I am glad to see you are well, Ferox.  Tenebris should be there soon.”

“Damn it,” I curse as the connection is severed.  “Why will nobody listen?”

I stumble in the dark back to the camp, and into the tent.  I pull off my boots, and set my staff down toward the front edge of the tent, but don’t bother with anything else.  I lay down on top of the covers, exhausted, and I’m asleep almost immediately.

*             *             *

When I awake, the first thing I notice is that I’m very warm.  Surrounded in warmth, in fact.  But, I don’t remember pulling the covers up over me last night.  Something doesn’t feel right.  I open my eyes and see skin, illuminated by the dim light coming into the tent from the campfire outside.  I’m lying halfway between my side and my stomach, and my left arm is resting on a hairy chest.   _Varric?_  I attempt to sit up, but something pulls on my hair, and I notice it’s pinned under someone that is pressed up against my back.   _If Varric’s in front of me, that has to be Garrett, but how in the world did this happen?_

I realize I’m laying on Varric’s left arm, and his other hand is curled around mine on his chest.  Garrett’s torso is pressed up against my back, and his hand is on my hip.  Garrett’s deep breathing tells me he is definitely not awake.  I don’t remember moving in the night, but then again, I’m a pretty deep sleeper, too.  This...isn’t good.  I look up at Varric and find his face close to mine, eyes closed in sleep. _How had he slept through all this with his cat-like reflexes, anyway?_

“Varric?” I whisper.  I try to pull my hand back from his chest but he grabs it, and opens his eyes.

“Ferox?” he asks groggily.   _Wait, he called me by my name.  He hasn’t done that in days._  “Why are you…” he notices the predicament we’ve found ourselves in.

“Help,” I plead quietly.  “I’m really sorry about this, Varric, but he’s on my hair and I can’t move.”

Varric gives a soft chuckle.  “I’ll wake him up,” he decides, and, realizing he’s still holding my hand, lets go.  I pull it back, feeling a blush start to warm my face, and I hope it’s dark enough in here that he can’t see it.  

Varric moves to try to reach Hawke, but unfortunately, his arm is still pinned under my head, and I can’t move enough to let him extract it.

He sighs.  “Sorry about this,” he says.

“Sorry about what-” my question cuts off into a squeak of surprise as Varric shifts his weight overtop of me, partially rolling me with him.  My heart beats faster, and if he can see at all, I’m sure he notices my red cheeks now.  His face is very close.  If I turned even a hair, our lips would be touching.  I risk a glance up at Varric, and he pauses, looking down at me for a long moment, before reaching over to nudge Garrett.

Garrett mumbles something incoherent, and I feel his grip tighten on my hip, pulling me closer to him.  I shift my leg, trying to kick him, only to have him wrap one of his own on top of it.  Varric tries poking him again, but to no avail, and moves back to his own side, giving up.

“Damn it, Garrett, if I wanted to be manhandled, I could have invited Declan,” I whisper.  Now that my hand is free, I elbow him, hard.  

“Ow! What did you do...oh…” he says, coming to awareness.  “Um...did we all get drunk last night or something and I forgot?”

“Can you just get off my hair now so I can move please?” I grumble.

“Right,” he says.  He removes his hand from my hip and backs up.  I exhale a breath of relief as I can sit up again, and I run my fingers through my hair.  Looking over at Varric, I remember his closeness a minute before, and have trouble meeting his eye.

I mouth the word “thanks” to him anyway, even though his attempts to wake Garrett hadn’t worked.  Now that I’m able to sit up, I notice that we’re all the way on Varric’s side of the tent.  Garrett’s blankets have been dragged across from his side.  It’s evident who started the tangled cuddling fiasco.  I’d probably involuntarily moved away from him in my sleep and ended up over by Varric.

“We speak of this to no one,” I announce, but then see the look on Hawke’s face.  It’s a combination of sleepy and guilty, and I start laughing.  “I told you last night you could cuddle with Varric.  I didn’t mean you could catch me in the middle of it.”

“Sorry, Ferox.  I think my body just realized there was a woman next to me, and...well, reacted.  My apologies.”

“You don’t get to share a tent with us anymore, Mr. Octopus.”

Varric guffaws from his side of the tent.

“Hey, I don’t see you complaining about Varric.  You two were awfully snuggly a minute ago too.”

I blush again.  “Sorry Varric, I think an octopus chased me across the tent in my sleep.  Thanks for trying to protect me.”

Even Garrett snickers at that.

Declan’s voice calls out from outside the tent.  “If you all have the energy to be that lively, you might as well get up.”

A glance at the tent flap shows that it is lighter outside than when I first woke up.  Dawn is breaking.  I’m a late sleeper, so I’m almost never up this early.  I scramble outside and stand at the edge of the short drop-off next to Declan, looking out at the valley below us.  The light is coming from our right, over the hills where I know Caer Bronach stands, casting a silhouette of the landscape.  It’s a pretty morning.  I look up at the multitude of colors hitting the low hanging clouds, casting them in varying shades of red and orange.

“Looking up so as to not miss anything, right?” Garrett asks, standing next to me.

“That’s right.”

“And you wish you could fly,” he adds.

“I think the next dragon we encounter, I will.  Time to ride one.”

“That _would_ be something,” Delcan states with a grin.  

“You’re joking, right?” Varric asks from my other side, joining us outside the tent.

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”


	11. Grey Warden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox and company seek Hawke's Warden friend near Crestwood

Chapter Eleven: Grey Warden

 

We set off that morning on foot, as there is no clear path up the steep incline and we’re afraid the horses might twist an ankle.  

It doesn’t take long before I see my first glimpse of red lyrium.  The strange crystalline structures seem to grow out of the ground in spikes, and radiate a red aura that makes me feel uneasy.   _Tenebris needs to see this stuff._

“Try not to touch it, stuff drives you crazy,” Varric warns.  “I know you’re curious, but trust me, just keep your distance.”

“I am curious, but that stuff is giving me the creeps.  I have no intention of touching it.  I’ll take fire-breathing dragons any day over that.”

“I think we’re in agreement on that one.  At least dragons can be fought.  Or reasoned with,” he corrects himself.  “Still can’t believe I’m saying that.”

We continue on to where Hawke says his Warden friend is holed up, passing more of the odd glowing monoliths of red lyrium, some small, and some that must have been growing for a while longer.  

The cave in question turns out not to be far, and it’s fixed with a wooden door bearing a strange symbol.   _Wait, the old ruins where we found Miracle bore that same image._

“What is that symbol?” I ask Declan.

“Not sure; Hawke, do you know?” he asks, pointing at the painted image of of a skull with a red blindfold over a black background.

“That’s the banner of the Blind Men.  They’re smugglers, slavers.  This was probably one of their old dens.  But this is the spot.  My contact should be inside, so if they were still here, I’m sure he’s taken care of them.”

“Ugh, Wardens,” I grumble.

Varric pauses next to me.  “Um, Hawke, why don’t you and the Inquisitor go visit your friend while the rest of us stay out here for a minute?”

Garrett gives me a strange look, but doesn’t move.  “Why do you hate Wardens?  They’re heroes, they save the world.”

“By killing dragons,” I respond.  “There’s only one Warden in all Thedas I wouldn’t hate, and I seriously doubt you have Alistair Theirin in there.”

Hawke and Varric both stare at me with wide eyes.

“You _do?_  Stars, why didn’t you say it was him?  That’s totally fine then.  Let’s go see him.”

“Hold up.  Why is he so special?” Garrett asks.

I shrug.  “Trade-”

“-secrets.  Yeah, yeah, Ferox, we’ve heard that line before,” he complains.

Declan opens the door, and we enter what appears to be a long natural tunnel.  I cast Spell Wisp, one of the few spirit magic spells I know.  It’s normally used to boost spell power, but I only tend to attract the weaker wisps, so the difference is negligible.  It does, however, eliminate the need to carry a torch, as the wisp gives a soft glow to my surroundings.  I thank the tiny spirit for its help.

We navigate the slick cave, and I somehow manage not to dunk my feet in the many pools that dot the cavern floor.  Declan is not so lucky, and he shakes his foot for probably the third time.  We find another doorway built from wood and set into the surface of the stone.  Declan goes first, followed by Hawke, and then the rest of us.

As only one of us can fit through the door at a time, I can’t see much ahead of me, but I’m surprised to hear the sound of a sword leaving its sheath.  

“It’s just us. I’ve brought the Inquisitor,” Hawke explains hurriedly, as the rest of us file into the room.

Alistair lowers his weapon.   _That’s him, Alistair Theirin.  He’s more handsome in person_.  I smile at him as he looks over all of us.

“Hawke, Varric, good to see you again,” he states, then turns to the rest of us, “I’m Alistair.”

“We know who you are,” I state, still smiling.

“I really need to change my name,” he states, holding a hand to his head.  “But no one cares about any of that anymore.  Now I answer to Warden Commander Clarel, the same as everyone else...at least until the recent trouble.”

“Does your trouble have something to do with Corypheus?” Declan asks.

“Yes, after Hawke killed Corypheus, I started to worry.  Archdemons don’t just die from being hit, and I had a theory that Corypheus might have the same ability.  I started researching it, but that’s when every Warden in Orlais started hearing the Calling.”

“What?!” I exclaimed.  “All of them at once?  That can’t be.”

Alistair is startled, and stares at me.  “You’re no Grey Warden, how do you know about the Calling?”

Declan introduces me.  “This is Ferox, new recruit, and an expert on dragons and dragon magic.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to spill Warden secrets.  But, I know a thing or two about dragons, especially the ancients...and the way Grey Wardens are connected to them.  I’ve studied rare magics all over the world, and Grey Warden rituals are of _great fascination_ to me.”  I hope he will pick up on my meaning.

He frowns, and I’m still not sure if he understood.

“I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me,” he states.  The Grey Wardens are a secretive bunch.  I didn’t even know about Corypheus being a magister until I started looking into it myself.  It stands to reason they wouldn’t tell us of outside researchers helping the order.”

“Suffice it to say I probably know as much as you do about the Wardens and how exactly you and the Hero defeated an Archdemon,” I comment, laying another hint.  His eyes widen, and he looks at me suspiciously.

“You don’t happen to know an old woman from the Kocari Wilds, do you?  Used to live in a hut?”

“I’m no Witch of the Wilds, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

His mouth settles into a firm line, and he turns back to the others.  “The point is, every Warden in Orlais is hearing it.  You get bad dreams, and hear the song.  Normally, you go into the Deep Roads to die fighting.  In Death, Sacrifice,” he quotes.  “Every Grey Warden is acting like they’re going to die.”

“And this is related to why you aren’t following Clarel?” I ask pointedly.

“Yes, I protested a few of her newer methods.  I think she’s getting desperate, trying to make a last stand against the darkspawn before we all die, assuming the Calling is real, that is, and not some trick from Corypheus.  Clarel sent guards, and well...here I am.”

“That’s why you’re on the run,” Varric clarifies.

“The Wardens are gathering in the Western Approach.  It’s at an old Tevinter ritual tower.  I’m going to investigate, and I could use some help.”

 _Tevinter ritual tower...I know the one._  “Declan, if you’re considering going, you know I’m going to want in on this.”

“We could use the help of the Wardens, and it might better help us understand what Corpheus’s goal is.  We’ll do it.”

“Excellent.  Now, I need to talk to that one alone,” Alistair states, pointing at me.

I smile again.  I was expecting that.

I nod at the others.  Hawke frowns, but leaves with them.  I have a feelings he’s going to have more to say later about my “trade secrets” that can’t be shared with others.  Once the door is closed, and the sound of footsteps recedes, I turn back to Alistair.

“Alright, how is it that you know what you know?” he asks, shaking his head.  “And what _do_ you know, exactly?”

“I know plenty.  I know that you’re of the Calenhad bloodline, which means you have dragon blood.  I know how the Joining is performed, and what the Calling is.  I know a lot about Archdemons.  I know that you fought alongside the Hero of Ferelden, and I know what you and Morrigan did on the night before the final battle to defeat Urthemiel and not die.”

“ _How_ do you know this?” he questions, looking a bit deflated, but still angry.

“Declan mentioned I’m an expert on dragon magic.  My family and I have traveled all over Thedas, studying rare magics.  I’ve known Wardens who have shared their secrets, and I have seen their texts.  I’ve learned a great many things, but don’t worry, I’m no witch, and I’m not like Yavana.  I have no intention of hurting or imprisoning you.  I do want to save the dragons, but I don’t need you or your blood to do it.”

“So why all the hints if you don’t want anything from me?”

“I just wanted a chance to thank you.  You were able to save Urthemiel’s soul, and keep that magic in the world.  Without realizing it, you helped save Thedas from a bigger threat than the Blight.”

“The child...do you know what became of it?” he asks hesitantly.

“I’m not certain.  Flemeth’s daughters are good at keeping themselves hidden.  But I’m grateful.  I know it’s not why you did it, but the dragon’s soul remaining in the world is a good thing, have no fear.  I only wish we could recover it.”

“We?”

“The keepers of dragons.”

“You say that like it’s supposed to mean something.”

“It did once, but that was a long, long time ago.  There aren’t many left who know of us now.  But, I am glad to have met you.  Will you be accompanying us back to Skyhold?”

“No, I plan to head straight for the Western Approach.  I will meet you there.”  He’s quiet.  “Do any of the others know about me?”

“Only what they have heard in stories.”

“Let’s keep it that way.”


	12. Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's interested in Ferox, but does she like him in return?

Chapter Twelve: Interest

 

Alistair and I emerge from the cave to find everyone waiting for us.  I head toward Darkforge without a word.

“Hold up, lady, not so fast,” Hawke states, striding after me.  “My turn now.”  He puts a hand on my arm and starts leading me away.

“I’ll be right back, then, I guess,” I mention to everyone as I allow Hawke to guide me.

He stops a short distance away, out of earshot.  He looks at me with a frown of frustration on his face.  “I’m trying here, but trust goes two ways, Ferox.”

“What is it you want to know exactly, Garrett?”

“What were you doing with Alistair?” he demands.  “I couldn’t decide if you were baiting him or flirting with him.”

“I was trying to get him to talk to me privately.  I...know a bit about Grey Warden rituals, stuff they probably don’t want me knowing or saying in front of others,” I admit.

“I gathered as much.”

“Some of the things I had to tell him related just to him, about how he and the Hero ended the Fifth Blight.  Things that aren’t common knowledge, and probably shouldn’t be, at least not yet.”

“Oh...you could have just asked for the time, Ferox.  We would have understood.  You always seem to have answers to things, but you’re so reluctant to share anything.  Trying to figure you out is making me dizzy.”

“Why would want to do that?” I ask.

“Ugh, I’m as bad as Declan.  Look, I’m interested in you.  You frustrate me to no end, but I can’t seem to get you out of my head.”

“I...oh...” I stutter.   _I wasn’t expecting that._  “Garrett...I’m sorry, I don’t have those kinds of feelings toward you.  I don’t even know you all that well.”

“Ah.  I see.  Is there someone else that you’ve taken a liking to?” he asks hesitantly, looking back toward the camp.

I blush.  “Not really; I told you I didn’t join the Inquisition to find someone.”

“Well then, if there’s not someone else, maybe we could at least get to know each other better, see where it leads?”

“Can I think about it?”

He nods with a small grin.  “So that’s not a total no then.”

I don’t say anything, but turn and walk back toward the others.   _I have no idea what to do with what just happened._  He had been joking last night, but he is a good looking man.  But, as I search my heart, I don’t really have any interest in him that way.  I think he reminds me of my brothers a little.

Lost in thought, I trudge silently over to Darkforge, my spirited stallion.  I reach up and stroke his soft nose.  He huffs, but seems to like the attention.  I throw one foot into the stirrup and take a leap into the saddle.  It’s not easy getting up that high, but I’ve had a little practice, and manage not to embarrass myself this time.

“Ready to go?” Declan asks, bringing his own mount up next to mine.

I nod, and we set off back toward Caer Bronach.  The ride goes smoothly, but now that I know what to look for, I see more and more of the red lyrium crystals.  This isn’t good.  I make a note to describe what I’ve seen and been told about it in detail to my brother.  I’d like to get his opinion on it.

But even that thought can’t distract me for long, and my mind gets drawn back again to Garrett’s words.  I sigh.  Declan looks over at me a few times.  I can tell he wants to say something, but he refrains, much to my relief.  I don’t feel like lying, but it’s not something I can really discuss with the group.

We stop after a couple of hours to rest the mounts and refill our waterskins.  Declan chooses a thickly forested area near a stream.  I take a moment to stretch my legs.  Riding a horse definitely makes you sore after a while.  The nearest tree seems dry enough, probably protected from the ever-threatening rains here by its thick foliage.  I rest my back against it and enjoy the view looking up through the branches at the leaves.

I overhear voices.

“What did you say to her?” Varric asks gruffly.

 _Oh no...I should let them know I’m here._  I move to step away from the tree, when I hear Garrett’s voice.

“I just told her I wanted to get to know her better, that’s all.”

 _Shit, they’re talking about me.  I can’t go out there now._  I put my back against the tree again, trying to fit my small frame as close to it as I can.  

“Are you sure that’s it?  She hasn’t said a word since then, and that’s _really_ unlike her.”

“Yeah, I think I may have shocked her, the poor thing,” Garrett confesses with a chuckle.

“If you’re making her uncomfortable, maybe you ought to back off for a while,” Varric suggests, the tone of his voice sounding harsher than I’ve heard from him before.

“Varric, why are you acting like I’ve done something wrong?  What are you, her father?  No, wait...Andraste’s tits, you’re _jealous_.”

“Don’t be absurd,” Varric protests.

“Varric, in all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you take an interest in a woman before.  How was I supposed to know you liked her?”

“I’m telling you, you’ve got it wrong, Hawke.  It’s not like that.”

“She turned me down, Varric.”

“What?”

“I told her I was attracted to her, and she told me she doesn’t feel the same.  I talked her into considering spending time with me, but I’ll back off if you want.”

“I...that’s her decision to make, not mine,” Varric responds, his voice quieter than before.

“I may not be the best at giving advice - Maker knows I’ve screwed up enough things in my own life - but you can’t hide behind the excuse of Bianca forever.”

Varric just grunts, and I hear the two of them walking back toward the horses.  My heart is hammering in my chest.   _Varric...likes me?_ I let that thought settle.  Varric likes me.  I thought he was safe, off-limits, that I didn’t have to worry about him.  When I think about how we shared a room, and then last night in the tent when I woke up touching him, I want to die of embarrassment.  Had he really been awake during the night, when I evidently cuddled up next to him?

Are my brothers right?  Am I getting too close to the people of the Inquisition?  I attempt to swallow past the lump in my throat, when the realization hits me:  I wouldn’t be asking myself that if I didn’t feel something for Varric.  I didn’t question it with Declan, or even Hawke.  I had no illusions that they would distract me from my cause or be a risk.  I hadn’t even considered the possibility of Varric because of the mysterious Bianca, but now that the thought is there I can’t deny it.  Out of everyone, I look to him first when I need help.  This morning in the tent, my heart had raced at his nearness; and, if I’m honest with myself, a part of me had hoped he would close the distance and kiss me for real.   _I really am an idiot._

I think about Lucis and Andraste, and how heartbroken he had been over her death.  No, I can’t get involved with someone here.  The lifespan of mortals is too short.  Everyone I’ve met so far will be dead within the next 50 years, and my brothers and I will be left to endure on our own, the same as we always have been.  

 _I need some distance from this._  I look at the ring on my finger, and consider leaving right now.  But I don’t want to worry everyone, either.  They’ll look for me, thinking something happened to me, and will be angry with me for not saying something.  No, I need to convince them that I headed back on my own.   _Tonight, then, at Caer Bronach._

I finish filling my waterskin and head back to the others.  I don’t glance at either Hawke or Varric, instead choosing to ride in the back with Bull.   _At least this way I’ll be able to see if anyone is looking at me._

“Hey short stuff,” Bull comments.  “Good to go?”

“Yeah,” I respond. No reason to stay silent and give them reason to worry.  “It was nice to rest, but I’m eager to get back.”

“You and me both.  Not nearly enough fighting on this trip.  I need a good stiff drink and one of the kitchen girls back at Skyhold, then I’ll feel much better.”

I laugh.  “Have the kitchen girls been warned that you’re after them?”

“I’ve heard them talking, I like my chances.”

I can’t help but shake my head.  “At least you’re confident.  Hope that works out for you.”

“It’ll work out for them, too.”  He grins.  “So, that thing you do with dragons…”

“Yeah?”

“Does it work on all dragons?” he asks.

“Only high, elder and ancient dragons.  Anything less than that lacks the magic to understand the Draconic language.”

A grunt.  “And does any of your dragon stuff mention Qunari?”

“Only that your people revere dragons, respect them.  I don’t know of any other connection with Qunari and dragons.”

“Shit.  That’s kind of disappointing.  I mean, we’re...you know, dragony, right?  I was kind of expecting to hear that we were bred with the blood of dragons or something.”

“Sorry to let you down, Bull.  But I can put in a good word for you with Miracle if you want to try,” I tease.

He actually looks like he considers it for a moment, before chuckling.  “Nah, short stuff, I’m shitting you.  I think kitchen girls will have to be enough excitement for now.”

The rest of the trip back to Caer Bronach passes surprisingly pleasantly.  Bull turns out to be an amusing, if a bit vulgar, conversationalist.  I welcome the break, and hope that by allowing some of the more risque banter that certain other members of our party will take it as a hint to stay away.

Finally, we reach the high stone walls and ride into the courtyard.  Charter greets us as before, and as soon as I dismount I see a familiar figure running toward me.  I step away from Darkforge to avoid spooking him and embrace Maeven when she reaches me.

“Ferox, I can’t believe it,” she says, concern written in the lines of her face.  “Sorry, but with what you talked about, I figured you’d be dead for sure. Did you not encounter the dragon?”

“We most definitely did,” Declan announced.  “And our resident dragon tamer did exactly as she said she would.  I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was amazing!”  

I look at Declan, grateful to hear his support.  I had gotten distracted for a moment.  Getting the Inquisition to see my side about dragon hunting was the whole reason I came here.  I need to focus more on convincing Declan, and when we get back, his most influential companions and advisors.  I shudder, thinking about the frilly Josephine and her proper manners, and Commander Cullen with his cold calculating stare, but I’ve probably earned myself at least some measure of respect now.  Things will be different when we get back.


	13. Sharing Secrets

Chapter Thirteen: Sharing Secrets

 

In the two days that we were gone from Caer Bronach, they managed to clear out more of the rooms. Unfortunately, a trade caravan had arrived in our absence, so we are still going to have to share rooms tonight.   _I can’t seem to win lately._ I remember my decision to leave this evening, and start planning my strategy.

I know Varric will expect to room with me, as before.  I don’t think I can get out of it, but I have no intention on sleeping here tonight; even despite the promise of a comfortable bed.  I sigh, thinking about it.   _How should I leave?  Can I tell him that I need to go without revealing too much?_

Food has been prepared for us again, and we sit down to dinner.  Thankfully, the others keep the conversation going.  I risk a glance at Varric and find that although he’s engaged in conversation with the others, he’s looking at me.   _He’s a man who hides his intentions well.  There’s probably a lot I don’t know about Varric Tethras._  The thought is actually calming.  I don’t know this man very well, he’s the secretive sort, and he’d never outright said he had any plans to pursue me.  Maybe I’m overreacting.

I pick at my food for a while before giving up.  I decide to go for a walk, clear my head.  Of course, he follows.  

“Firefly, can I talk to you?” he asks.

 _No, you can’t,_ I think petulantly, but I can’t say that to him.  “Sure, Varric.  Walk with me?”

We go, just the two of us, but I see Garrett noticing us leave together.  He has an odd expression that I don’t bother trying to qualify.  I lead the way out of the main keep and up a set of stairs.  We stop on one of the upper walkways.  I look up at the night sky, and see the velvety blanket of stars dotted with small clouds.  A light breeze blows over the ramparts.  For Crestwood, it’s a nice night.

“Firefly, you’ve been different ever since we left camp.  I gotta ask, are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine.  I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Are you?  Are you willing to share your secrets with me now, because last I checked, you usually avoid talking about yourself.  And yet, you want me to share my secrets.  Let’s be honest, Varric, neither one of us is good at being open with people.”

He recoils, and I immediately regret saying it.

“Sorry, that was harsh.  It’s not really you that has my temper up, Varric.”

“Is it Hawke?” he asks.

“No, it’s not him, either,” I admit.  “Varric...I know you two talked earlier.  I didn’t mean to, but I overheard your conversation.”

“Well...shit,” he says.

“I’m not angry, it just set me to thinking.  None of you really know me.  There are things about who I am and where I come from that would change how you see me.  I’m pretty sure you’re better off not getting too close to someone like me.”

“What do you mean?  You’re not going to blow up Skyhold are you?”

Despite myself, I laugh.  “No, nothing like that.  My desire to help the Inquisition is genuine, even if my brothers think I’m foolish for being here and offering our knowledge.  I’m just...not who you think I am.”

“You know, Firefly, I can’t help but notice something you _haven’t_ mentioned.”

“What’s that?” I ask, suddenly on edge.

“Hawke says you turned him down cleanly, told him you weren’t interested.  And I was there when you told Declan you wanted to be just friends.  But you haven’t said that to me.”  He moves in closer.

I take a step back.  “Varric, that isn’t a good idea.”

“Oh I agree, It’s probably a terrible idea, but I believe you’re having the same one.  You still haven’t said it, you know.”

I blush and look away.

“Maker, you’re adorable when you do that,” he comments.

“Oh, let’s not bring _him_ into this,” I reply.

“Okay, secret number one, you’re not Andrastian.  I can live with that so far,” he says with a small chuckle.

“We’re trading secrets now?” I ask, shaking my head.

“Yeah, and I’ll share one...I’m giving serious thought to kissing you right now.”  He takes another step toward me.  I back up again, but bump into the railing of the walkway.

“That’s not exactly a secret,” I tell him, looking at him.  Now that we’re standing close, I realize we’re not that different in height, roughly about the same size, really.  I might be an inch taller, tops.  I hadn’t thought his frame intimidating before, but I notice the strength in his arms and I feel a little flutter in my chest.  I swallow.

“Okay, fine, I’ll do you one better,” he says.  “Yes, Bianca was a real woman, a surface dwarf.  She and I were involved years ago, but her family didn’t approve.  She ended up marrying someone else.”

“Ouch, that’s awful.  So the two of you stopped seeing each other?”

“Not at first, but eventually, yes.  I still care for her as a friend, but anything else ended a long time ago.”

“Why didn’t you say something before now?” I wonder.

“And risk making you uncomfortable around me?  I liked that you wanted my company, and you made the assumption, so it was just easier not to say anything.  What about you?  Any long-distance lovers I should know about?”

“No, it’s been a long time since there’s been anyone,” I admit.  “But I have an overly protective family, too, you know.”

“Shit, don’t remind me.  How bad are we talking?  Assassins?  Fire spells?  Dragons?”

“At the very least,” I laugh.

“I’ve handled worse.”  He grins, and moves in a little closer.  

The flush returns to my cheeks.  “I was planning on leaving tonight,” I confess, blurting out the words.

His brow crinkles in confusion.  “Leaving?  Where would you go?  We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“More magic secrets, but I have a way.  I was coming back, I would have just met up with you back at Skyhold.  I still think it’s a good idea.  You...you make it hard for me to think.”

“Then I’ll have to give you something to think about,” he says, and, wrapping one of his muscled arms around me, pulls me close.  “Enough dodging, last chance to tell me to stop, Firefly.”

I should tell him to stop, but I can’t.  Heart beating hard against my chest, I don’t say anything.  That foolish, stupid part of me, the same one who wanted this in the tent, is back.   _I want this_.  He closes the rest of the distance, and Varric kisses me, standing on the ramparts of the keep under the light of the stars.

His lips meet mine, softly at first, pressing gently.  Then again, deepening the kiss.  I feel a coil of desire spiral through me and I give a soft moan, sliding my hands around to rest on his lower back.  He takes it as encouragement to continue, and his tongue enters my mouth, the gentle friction causing dizzying sensations.

I break away from him.  “Secret number two for you, Varric.  You’re a really good kisser.”

“Ferox…” He kisses me again, pinning me against the railing.   _He used my name again._  I laugh a little into his mouth before the passion takes over, and it’s all about his kissing again.   _Stars, he really is phenomenal at this._

“Stop, stop,” I finally gasp, trying to put a little distance between us.  “Anymore of that and I’ll melt where I stand.”

He chuckles, and leans in to whisper in my ear, “At least I’m sure you like me now.”  He backs away from me and takes my hand, pulling me away from the railing.

“That was never the problem,” I smile at him, a little embarrassed at my confession.

He returns the smile, and looks away.  “Share a secret with me, and I’ve got one for you.”

I think about it for a moment.  “Okay, I’ve got one.  I know I said I’m from Ferelden, and I’ve traveled all over, but I’ve probably spent more time in Tevinter than anywhere else.  I know that’s not exactly a popular place with people around here.”

“But it makes sense.  Where else would you go to find people who know about dragon magic than the place where they consider them gods?”

“Funny how they get their own religion wrong, though,” I comment.

“What are you talking about?”

“The ancient dragons weren’t gods.”

“Uh yeah, that’s obvious.”

“The dragons _served_ the real gods.”

Varric’s humor dies flat.  “Wait, Tevinter lore has gods that aren’t dragons?  I’ve never heard that before, and I’ve heard a lot of stories.”

“It’s an old story, so much so that it’s been forgotten by most, and not recorded in many places.  Someday, I’ll tell you the tale.  But that’s one already for me, Ser Tethras.  You’re getting greedy.  It’s your turn.”

He grins.  “I lied when I told you my reasons for your nickname.  I think it was the first night in Skyhold.  I’d just met you, and here you were, this small human with such an impulsive, fiery spirit.  And then you bumped up against me, and you smelled like a midsummer’s night after a thunderstorm.  That’s why you’re Firefly.”

“Oh, Varric…” I look at him.

I meet him halfway this time, and we share one last, long, sweet kiss.

“We should probably get inside. The others will talk,” he says begrudgingly, shaking his head.

“I doubt we can stop them anyway.  The Inquisition certainly likes to gossip.  But you’re right, you should go back.”

“Me?  Where are you going?” he questioned, frowning again.  I pull my hand out of his.

“Sorry, there’s something I have to do.  I’ll see you at Skyhold.  Tell the others for me?”

I don’t let him respond, and with a twist of my ring, Caer Bronach and Varric’s confused expression are gone, replaced with an entirely different landscape.


	14. Distance

Chapter Fourteen: Distance

 

The view from the mountain is incredible, even in the dark.  It’s cold here; my breath makes a small cloud in front of my face. There’s no one around to act normal for anymore, so I send a bit of magic into a warming barrier.   _Much better_.  I look around me, and it doesn’t take me long to find her, curled up in a shallow cave behind where I’m standing.  We’re at the top of one of the mountains in the range, and there’s a steep drop off from the ledge.

“Miracle,” I say in Draconic, and she turns her massive head toward me.  

“Strange human...er, Ferox,” she comments, her voice echoing in my head.  “I did not think you would come this soon.  I was sleeping.”

“I see that.  Sorry if I woke you.  I needed a break from traveling with the others, and thought I would pay you a visit for a while.”

“Did they try to hurt you?” she asks, cocking her head curiously.

I remember having the talk with her before about humans coming to hurt her if she stayed and played at the ruins.  “No, nothing like that.  It’s just complicated.”

“Are you hungry?” she asks.

“No, not at the moment, I’m just happy for a change in company, and the view.”

“You’re staying overnight?”

“Yes, I think I’ll stay for a bit, at least, maybe up to a few days if that’s alright with you,” I tell her.  She seems to think for a moment, then settless back down on top of her massive feet.  She is laying on her stomach, tail stretched out behind her.  There is not much room in the cave, but I believe I can find a spot to sit down.

“You can stay,” she decides.  “But I’m going to sleep.  There were a lot of rams today, and I ate too many.”

I find a place near the wall, out of range of her tail should she start thrashing in the night.  That’s all I need, to get away from the Inquisition, only to be knocked off a mountain cliff by a sleeping dragon.  After settling in, my mind races.  I feel a bit lonely already and I wonder if I made the right decision in leaving.  Or, maybe I should have just returned to Skyhold.  But no, I’d have a lot more to explain if I just popped up there, days ahead of the Inquisitor.  I give a small thought to going back home, but with Tenebris and Etiam already mad at me, I couldn’t bear seeing Lucis right now.

No, this is probably for the best.  I reach up and touch my slightly swollen lips, remembering Varric’s kisses.  That had been impulsive, but I’d liked it.   _I hope he’s not mad at me for leaving._  I imagine him returning to the main hall to face the others, and having to somehow explain where I was.  I hadn’t really thought about his position; maybe I should go back.   _Ugh, I’m so confused right now._   _I never should have kissed him._   _It makes everything more complicated._

Still, it had been nice.  More than nice, if I’m honest with myself.  I haven’t felt like that in a long time.  I can still feel the tingle from his large, warm hands on my body.   _What is wrong with me?_    I know it’s a bad idea, that it can’t possibly end well, but I’m having to fight the urge to stay here and not go back to him.

I think I understand Lucis’s feelings a little better.  He’d been irresistibly drawn to the human woman, Andraste, despite everything working against them.  Not only was she a mortal, with their fleetingly short lives, but she had a husband already.  None of that mattered to either of them.  I saw how happy he was when he was with her.  I know he planned to bring her home, to make her like us, but the humans robbed him of that chance.  I remember his cries of anguish that day, when he saw her figure in the flames, the flesh burning away from her body as life left her.  He’d been too late to save her.  We all had.  None of us had expected that sort of betrayal.

I need to remember the outcome, not just the immediate desire, even though it goes against a lot of my nature.  I wasn’t lying when I talked to Miracle yesterday: I do always have the storm brewing inside.  I am tempestuous, impulsive, wild.  It’s who I am, and I’ve always enjoyed that part of myself.  Thinking ahead, planning strategies...those aren’t my strengths.  Still, if I think not about myself, but what this could do to _him_ , the thought gets a little easier.  I imagine his face if he were to find out how much I’ve had to hide from him.

But then I remember him saying he called me Firefly because I reminded him of a summer night after a storm, and my heart flutters anew.  “Damn it,” I say out loud.

Miracle stirs.  “Quiet, human,” she states, before settling back in.

I’m an idiot, and I know I won’t be able to resist going back to him at some point.  That kiss sealed my fate, and I fear I’m already lost.  Damn me, too.

*             *             *

I sleep fitfully, and have one short trip to the Fade.  I may hate Fen’Harel for raising the Veil and trapping our seven ancient dragons underground, but I do have to admit I enjoy some of the changes here.  The world of the Fade both intensifies and distracts from what I’m feeling.  Tonight, however, I wish I could have slept without dreaming.  My torn conscience makes me think of him, affecting the whole experience.  I keep glancing over and seeing the image of the Black City, and I’m glad when I finally awake to daylight.

I stand, stretching.  Miracle is no longer in the cave.  She must have left earlier without waking me.  It surprises me that such a large creature could do so, but I had been exhausted and probably had slept deeper toward the end of the night than usual.  I take a minute to get my bearings.  There is nothing inside the cave.  No side passages, only a few scrapes on the wall that I assume were made by Miracle.  

I walk out to the ledge, again appreciating the view.  I can now see that the area is surrounded by a series of jagged snow-covered peaks, interspersed with sloping hills and plateaus.  Perfect territory for a dragon; they love playing with varying heights.  I look down, and don’t see any easy way for me to traverse the steep slope.  I’m going to have the use the ring again when I move from this spot.

The others are probably preparing to leave right now.  If I join them now, maybe there would be fewer questions, as I had only been gone one night.   _Am I really ready to go back?_

My reverie is interrupted by a glow from my pendant.  Which one of my brothers would think to contact me now?  I head back into the cave, sit, take the pendant off, and lay it in my hand as I had before.  I open the latch, and the magic springs forth.

“There you are!” Tenebris exclaims.  “I couldn’t see you in the Well, and I don’t know where to find you.  I looked all over this Skyhold place, but you’re not here.”

“That’s because I’m traveling.  I’m actually in a dragon den at the moment.  I was thinking of rejoining the others, but perhaps we should meet privately first and talk.”

“As you wish, sister.  Where?”

“There’s a ruined keep in the Black Fens near Crestwood.  I’ll say my goodbyes here and meet you there.”

He nods, and the image dissipates.  Tenebris is already here in Thedas.  I’m both happy and nervous.  Okay, mostly nervous.  I’ll need to persuade him that convincing the Inquisition is worth our time and effort.  With him here, it might help me stay away from Varric for a while longer, until I can sort through my thoughts better.  Stars, Tenebris will be furious if he finds out I let a mortal kiss me.  But, I haven’t seen my brother in a week and a half now.  It will be good to be with him again.

I look out over the mountain range, and spot Miracle jumping from hill to hill.  I call out to her, and she returns to the ledge, gliding down and folding her wings in at the very last second.   _She’s getting better at this_.

“Yes?” she asks.  “Did you want to play too?”

“No, Miracle, I must be going.  My brother needs me, and I have to leave.”

“Brother?” she asks with another turn of her head.  It takes me a few minutes to explain that relationship, but at last she understands.  “Yes, go to your nest mate.  Will you return?”

“If I can.  You seem happy here, I’m glad.  Good-bye Miracle.”

“Okay,” she comments, going back out to resume her game.

I smile.   _Close enough._  

*             *             *

I expend another charge from the ring, and the world blurs.  When it stills a second later, I’m standing among the ruins, again looking up at the symbol of the Blind Men.   _These slavers seem to have been all over around here.  I wonder if they still operate, or if their organization is dead?_    I walk through the crumbling towers, toward the stairs that lead up to the offering platform.

I sit upon the stairs, but I don’t have long to wait.  Tenebris blurs into view, using a similar magic to mine.  I stand to greet him.  He’s carrying his long staff in one hand, the two-headed golden dragon carving at the top glinting in the sunlight that filters in through the clouds overhead.  He stands tall, his aristocratic features giving him a haughty appearance, but I know that there’s a fierce temper and fiercer loyalty underneath his cool gaze.  His wavy hair cascades over one shoulder.

“Sister,” he says, and smiles.  

I walk to him, and give him a hug.  He’s significantly taller than me, so my arms only reach around his torso, but he leans over to return it.

“I’ve missed you,” I admit.  “There is much we should discuss.”

“I heard a great deal as I searched for you at Skyhold.  I may know some of what you speak of already,” he reports.  “I also saw _him_ there.  You could have warned me.”

“Oh...Fen’Harel.  Yes, I probably should have said something.  But I didn’t want all three of you coming and disrupting what I’m accomplishing.”

“He didn’t see me, I’m certain of it; but he will have to be dealt with, you understand.  It took all I had not to take his head off right then and there.”

“We’ll handle it when the time comes.  For now, we’ve called a temporary truce.  He’s here to help heal the Breach in the sky, or so he says.”

“I can abide, for now.”

“Have you heard about the red lyrium?” I question.  “I saw it for myself only yesterday.  It...feels wrong, somehow.  I thought you might understand it better than I.”

“Yes, I have seen it growing.  It does not bode well.  If lyrium, a large source of the world’s magic, is being corrupted to that level, it may already be too late to save it.  It is possible this is what Corypheus has been using, and how he created the dragon-beast.”

“Then you don’t know how this happened?”

“No...we unleashed the Blight, the corruption, but as you know, it was only supposed to have been the one time.  It has only continued due to what that damned elf did.  If we were able to retrieve our generals, the Blights would have stopped a long time ago.  The darkspawn are not organized enough to have survived this long on their own.  It could be they were the ones who corrupted the lyrium, or Corypheus, or Fen’Harel himself.  I do not know.”

“Fen’Harel is going by Solas here.  Best practice it now.  He hasn’t outed me so far.  And apparently Mythal is still roaming around somewhere.  But I’m glad you didn’t have anything to do with the poor corrupted dragon.  Do you think we can cleanse it?”

“Maybe.  I’ll need to see it first, and run a few tests on this red lyrium to know more.”

“Be careful.  According to some of my new contacts, touching it makes people go mad.”

“Ah, then I have an advantage,” he boasts, leaning in and grinning at me.  “I’m already mad.”

I laugh.  I really have missed my brother.

“Then you’ll not fight me about staying?” I ask.

“No, I’ll need to look more into the red lyrium, and that will give you more time to work on the dragons.  It’s time I meet this Inquisitor.”  

“They left Caer Bronach on horseback just this morning, and should be arriving in Crestwood Village in a few hours,” I inform him.

He reaches for his ring, and I quickly put a hand on his shoulder just in time for the colors of the ruins to blend together as we travel.


	15. United

Chapter Fifteen: United

 

We materialize again not far outside the village, in a secluded copse of trees.  I wonder how many charges from his ring my brother has used so far in his travels.  I know of three, at least, but he could have traveled enough at Skyhold to reclaim a day, leaving him with a maximum of two by my calculations.

“Let me make the introductions,” I instruct him.  “These people have met me before, and know me to be with the Inquisition.”

Tenebris nods, and, for once, allows me to lead.  We walk out from the grove and onto the road that will take us back to the small town on the hill.  The guards at the gate are at attention as we approach, but relax when they see me.  

“Where are the others?” the one asks.

“They’ll be here shortly.  I separated from the main group on an errand, and we ended up here ahead of them.  This is my brother.”  

We make brief introductions, then are shown back to the mayor’s house and offered food and drink.  After barely eating last night I am starving, and gladly accept.  Tenebris looks at his portion with disdain, but tries it anyway.  Apparently deciding it’s edible, he eats the dried meat and bread.

I remember sitting in this place with everyone just a couple of days ago, and the rather awkward conversation that accompanied the meal.  I miss them all, and I’m excited to see them again in a couple of hours.  Since we have the privacy, Tenebris and I decide to contact Etiam together.  Sitting on one of the supply crates, my open locket in my hand, I call the magic of the water from the Watcher’s Well to life.  The familiar blue glow washes out and fills the room.

“Etiam, brother, are you there?” I call.

His face appears, and he looks at both of us.  “I see you’ve found her, Tenebris.  Why have you not brought her home?”

“I have decided to stay, as well.  There are large deposits of lyrium that seem to be corrupted.  I wish to study it, and to find what this Inquisition knows about this threat.”

“Ferox, Tenebris, you should end this farce.  The risks are too great.”

“I accept the risk,” I declare calmly.  “I know you believe helping the Inquisition is a waste of time, but I know I’m getting somewhere with them.  I can’t leave now.  I saw a Fade rift yesterday, Etiam.  The poor spirits were dragged here against their will, their purpose twisted from the moment they entered this world.  It would have angered even you, I’m certain.  Saving the dragons and closing the Breach is the right thing to do.”

Tenebris continues, “The former magister, Corypheus, has somehow channeled this corruption magic and is using it to strengthen his forces.  I need to know more.  I fear the balance may be tipping too far in one direction.  If we allow him to win this war, how long would it be before he makes another attempt at the Black City?”

“I cannot keep this from Lucis for long, not with both of you gone,” Etiam comments with a sigh.  “He will learn of it soon enough.”

“Stall him as long as you can, brother,” I plead.  “We need time.”

Etiam looks stern, and doesn’t say more, but severs the connection, and the room seems a bit darker afterwards.  Tenebris is frowning.

“Thank you,” I tell him.  “Thank you for understanding the importance of this.”

“Something isn’t right.  So many things aren’t adding up.  I think I understand why you suspected me of being involved before.  Corypheus shouldn’t have the level of power that he does.  The Magisters were proficient mages, yes, but this is different.  He’s using borrowed magic, and I think you’re right, someone must have helped him acquire it.  But who?”

“I don’t know, but we need to find out.  All of Thedas may depend on it.”

*             *             *

In a short while we hear the announcement that the Inquisitor’s caravan has been spotted.  Tenebris and I look at each other and nod.  We get up and go out to meet them just inside the main gate.  Declan and Hawke are the first to ride into town, slowing their mounts as the others follow.  Declan spots me.

“Ferox!” he calls, dismounting and walking over to me quickly.  “Varric said we wouldn’t see you until Skyhold.”  He embraces me, and I can see my brother glowering at him.

“Uh, change of plans.  I had to pick up my brother, but he was closer than I thought and we ended up meeting on the road.”

“Your brother?” Declan asks, and looks over at Tenebris.  He smiles brightly and extends his hand.  “I’m the Inquisitor, Declan Trevelyan.”

“This is Tenebris, the youngest brother,” I say by way of introduction.

“You don’t need to point out that I’m the youngest,” he responds, shaking his head.  Turning to Declan, he takes the offered hand.  “Well met, Inquisitor, but I’ll ask you to keep your hands to yourself when it comes to my sister.”

“Well, they definitely sound like siblings,” Garrett comments from behind them, stepping down off his own horse and walking over.  “Garrett Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall.”

Tenebris nods.

“I’m The Iron Bull.  My band of mercenaries, The Chargers, are working for the Inquisition.”

“And I guess that leaves me,” Varric says.  “Varric Tethras, rogue, storyteller, and occasional messenger for runaway mages.”  He shakes his head.

“Sorry, Varric.  I got word that Tenebris was here, and had to go meet him.  I regret having to leave like that,” I state, leaving the double meaning hanging between the two of us.  “Thank you for telling the others.”

He gives a small smile.

Declan speaks up, “I’m just glad you found your way back alright.  When Varric told us that you left - on foot no less - we were understandably worried.”

“I’ll try to give more warning next time,” I tell him.

“See that you do,” Hawke says, coming over to ruffle my hair again.  I swat him away.  Tenebris actually laughs a little.

“She hates it when I do that.  So it seems I’ll be joining this Inquisition of yours,” Tenebris tells Declan.

“Which school is he the expert on again?” Garrett asks.

“Entropy,” Tenebris offers.  “I’ve also done extensive studies on the Blight, corruption, and blood magic.”

“He may be able to help you figure out this red lyrium problem, and I’m sure he has ideas about Corypheus’s dragon,” I suggest.  “You’re going to want him on your team.”

“Anything that gets rid of that red lyrium shit is welcome in my book,” Varric adds.

“I agree,” says Declan, nodding.

“Sounds like you’re in, dear brother,” I comment, poking him in the side.  He grunts, but smiles at me.

“As if there was any doubt.”

*             *             *

Tenebris sits with Declan and Hawke, to begin discussing strategy as the others eat.  I stand off to the side, near the door watching.  Hawke and my brother seem to be getting along so far.  Good; I had hoped my brother wouldn’t be too standoffish, but I it’s hard not to like the gregarious Hawke.

My eyes unconsciously seek out Varric, but I’m a little surprised when I didn’t see him sitting where he’d been before.

“I think we should talk, don’t you?” he asks quietly from behind me.  I turn to look, and he’s already in the doorway.   _Twitchy cat, I swear._  I glance back at Tenebris, but his attention is occupied by something Declan is saying. I silently follow Varric out of the building.  We take a few twists and turns and end up in a garden behind one of the houses.  A steep embankment and high walls shield us from view.

Varric looks at me.  “When you disappeared...shit, Firefly, I thought I’d screwed up, that I’d scared you or something.”

“I was scared,” I admit.

He frowns, but I continue, “I didn’t expect this at all.”  I grab his hand and interlace my fingers with his.  “But it feels right.”

Meeting his eyes, I see the same sentiment in his expression even before he says it.  “It does, doesn’t it?”

He removes his hand from mine, steps closer to me, and I welcome the feel of his warm lips on mine.  I throw my arms around his neck and return the kiss, moving my head to a better angle.  I hear him make a sound deep in his throat, and it’s as if a wildfire lights up inside me.  Which, oddly enough, is what sobers me up.

I push him away.  “No.”

“No?” he questions, looking hurt.

“Oh trust me, not completely no, just not like this.  I don’t want to have to sneak around to see you, stealing clandestine kisses in hidden gardens.”

He gives a wry smile.  “Guess I was kind of used to it before.”

“I’m not her, and I would never settle for that,” I tell him, and he smiles at me.  “We deserve to do this right.”

“You really are a miracle,” he murmurs, running a hand over my hair.  “Let’s go talk to your brother, then.”

“Really?” I beam at him, then it dawns on me.  He wants to go see _my brother._ “Oh shit, Tenebris is _not_ going to like this.  You haven’t seen it yet, but he’s got quite the temper.  Maybe give me a while to try to warm him up first.”

He sighs.  “If I have to wait, then at least let me visit summertime one last time,” he says, and I’m lost in the poetry of his words.  We kiss, and my heart feels so full it could burst.  He’s the one to end it this time.  

Grinning, I step back from him.  “I’ll head back in first.”


	16. Family Chat

Chapter Sixteen: Family Chat

 

I attempt to fix my hair as best I can, hoping it isn’t obvious that I’ve just been thoroughly kissed by an amorous dwarf.  I exhale a breath of air.  _  How am I supposed to do this?  _  Tenebris is never going to understand.  It’s astonishing to me that he even made a decision to stay for a while, and hasn’t already tried to drag me out of here kicking and screaming.

I walk back into the mayor’s former home and see that things haven’t changed much since I stepped out, other than most of Declan’s people have finished eating.  Tenebris laughs at something Hawke says; I couldn’t make it out.  I go over and sit between my brother and Declan.

“What’s so funny?” I ask.

“We were swapping stories of what it’s like to grow up with twin siblings,” Tenebris says.

I roll my eyes.  “We’re not that bad, are we?”

“Yes,” they say in unison, and even I laugh a little at that.  I notice Varric is back. He must have come back in not long after I had.

“It’s not exactly easy  _ being _ a twin, you know,” I protest.

“Yeah, I know, Bethany still talks about what it was like, how it’s different, and Carver has been gone for years now,” Garrett comments.  “She said she and Carver would often know what the other was thinking or feeling even if they were nowhere near each other.”

“Yeah, Lucis and I used to be like that...well, before, anyway.”

“I remember you mentioning that he lost someone he cared about,” Declan says, his tone serious.  He tucks his auburn hair behind his ear and away from his face.  

Hawke frowns.  “Maker, I didn’t even think about how it must have been for a twin to experience that too.”

His use of my brother’s other name at the beginning of the statement makes me pause for a moment, but I confess, “It was bad after she died.  It hurt, but I didn’t know how to help him.  I became so angry for him, but I think that hurt him, too.  I couldn’t even give words to what I felt, because it wasn’t my own pain.  Finally he shut me out, which was worse.”

Tenebris puts his arm around me.  “He’s still with us.  He’s just different now, that’s all.”

“I know.  Thank goodness for you and Etiam.  I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Garrett states, “My family has had more than its share of tragedies.  You make me want to contact my sister.”

“As well you should,” I tell him.  “Family is important.”

“Your family seems very close,” Declan comments.  “I’m a little jealous.  I wish my own had been more like that.  My own family wanted nothing to do with me for the longest time.  Of course, now that I’ve been made Inquisitor, they want to act like a family again.”

I pat his hand.  “You have a new family now: the Inquisition.”

He smiles at that.  “I suppose I do.”

“Family is never simple,” Varric states.  “All I have left is my brother, and he doesn’t even remember me some days.”

I look at Tenebris.  “Varric’s brother was affected by red lyrium.  It drove him to madness.”  He nods.  “Maybe your research might be able to help people like him.”

“I hope so,” he answers.  “That shouldn’t be happening to the lyrium. And yet it is, and seems to be spreading worse from what I’ve just been told.  I worry for all of us if it continues.”

“Sorry,” I apologize to everyone.  “I didn’t mean to bring the mood down.  Want to hear a story about Tenebris?”

That got my hair messed up again, so I pouted at him.  “Spoilsport.  I see the way you are.”

“That’s right, I’m allowed to pick on you.  It doesn’t go the other way,” he states firmly, and I just shake my head.

“Should we be expecting your other brothers?” Declan asks.

“I really hope not. One is bad enough,” I joke.

“Still, if they’re all as helpful as the two of you are, they’d be a welcome asset.”

“I’m sure they would, but you haven’t met them.  They’re different than Tenebris and I.”

“How so?”  Garrett asks.

“They look completely different from us, for one,” Tenebris offers with a laugh.  “The blue eyes are the only thing we really have in common in terms of appearance.  They’re both blondes.”

I further explain, “They also think a lot differently, much calmer than the two of us, but that leaves them coming across a bit cold at times, Etiam in particular.  I do think he’d have a few pieces of wisdom to offer you in terms of the demons and rifts, though.”

“See?  He sounds useful,” Declan observes.

“I doubt Etiam would ever agree to join the Inquisition,” my brother adds.  “He doesn’t exactly play well with others.”

“That’s funny, before you came back with me, I thought the same thing about you,” I joke.

An agent enters and announces, “Your horses have been cared for, fed and watered.  They are ready whenever you wish to leave.”

Declan nods.  “There is still plenty of daylight left; we should be getting on the road.  But we don’t have an extra mount for you, Tenebris.”

“He can ride double with me,” I offer.  “Darkforge is a strong horse.”

“No, we can’t tire one horse out that much on such a long trip, it will slow us all down,” Declan declares.  “We’ll split the time, taking turns riding double on different mounts until we can acquire another, or until we reach Skyhold, if we’re unable to do so before then.  I’ll send a raven back with the request.”

“You just mean me, don’t you?” I ask.  “You mean to say  _ I _   have to take turns riding double with the others.”

“Well, you _ are  _ the lightest,” Declan explains.

Tenebris frowns.  “No.”

“I realize you don’t like this, but it will only be until we meet up with the riders from Skyhold.”

“No,” he repeats.

“Give me a moment with my brother,” I state, and pull on his arm, attempting to steer him toward the door.  He allows it, but stares at Declan until we reach it and he finally has to turn around.

“I don’t like the idea of them touching you,” Tenebris tells me as soon as we’re alone.

“I’m getting that impression.  But unless you just want to admit that we have transportation magic, I think we’re stuck waiting for a horse.”

“I can’t believe you’re okay with this.  I believe you used to refer to them as ‘filthy humans’, or have you forgotten?”

“Things have changed.”

His mouth dropped open.  “Son of a...which one is it?  Point him out and I will kill him.”

“What?!”

“Which one has touched you, Ferox?  It’s the only thing that makes sense.  You  _ like _ one of them and allowed him liberties.”

“I...that’s not how I wanted to bring up the subject, but-”

“Not even you could be that monumentally stupid.”

_ Ouch.  I knew he’d be angry, but I didn’t expect that. _  “Guess maybe I am, dear brother.  I wanted to talk to you about it, but yes, there is one I plan to continue seeing on a personal level.”

“Did you hear nothing of the conversation that we just had?  Lucis’s grief nearly broke all of us.  Do you think I could bear to watch my only sister go through the same thing?”

“You don’t know that’s going to happen,” I protest.

“You haven’t thought this through.”

“I have, I-”

“Ferox, just listen.  I know, in the end, if this is what you choose that I cannot stop you, but just let me speak.”

When I show him I intend to let him talk, he continues, “You  _ haven’t _ thought this through.  That man, whichever one of those pathetic fools you have chosen, can’t possibly love you.  You’ve been here, what, less than two weeks?  This is an infatuation, a momentary passion, and it will pass.  And mark my words, Ferox, you  _ will _ lose him.  This is a world at war.  Even should he live to see the end of his natural lifespan, which is unlikely, that gives you what, thirty years, maybe fifty if you’re lucky?  That’s nothing for beings like us.  In the end, you will be alone again. Only your heart will have been invested, your grief eating at you as you watch him grow old, wither and die.  Better to just kill him now than to give you time to form attachments.”

“What if he chose to become like us?” I ask softly.

“Do you even hear yourself?! That man doesn’t even know  _ what _ you are, let alone  _ who _ you are!  He can’t possibly make a decision like that after this kind of time.  If you won’t stop for your own sake, consider what it would do to Lucis.  When Andraste burned, you felt his pain.  Have you considered what yours will do to him when the time comes?  You’ll only be compounding his loss by adding your own.”

_ He’s right.  I wasn’t thinking clearly.  I hadn’t thought about what my own loss would do to Lucis at all, I’d only selfishly thought about what Varric would think of me when he learned the truth about my family.  I...can’t be with him.  I’m sorry, Varric. _

“Thank you, Tenebris.  I think I needed to hear that.”

He embraced me.  “Your happiness is all I want.  I love you, you know.  But this can only bring you pain.  It’s not too late. I can still kill him, if you like.”

“No, I’ll break it off.  You’re right.”

“So which one will you  _ not _ be riding with, then?” he asked pointedly.

“The dwarf,” I answer, sighing.

He chuckles.  “At least you had the sense not to choose one of the humans.  Or the Qunari. I think that would have been worse.”


	17. Truth Be Told

Chapter Seventeen: Truth Be Told

 

Tenebris’s words hang heavy in my mind as we separate.  I’m glad my brother was reasonable about allowing me to ride with some of the others, but I can’t help but feel the loss of Varric already.  Still, he’s right.  I shouldn’t do that to him, or to Lucis, or honestly, even myself.  My own impulsive nature got the better of me, twice.  No more.

We go back to the group, and I let Tenebris explain that he has agreed to allow me to ride with some of them -- but that he expects them all to behave like gentlemen.  He doesn’t outwardly voice his dissent about me riding with Varric, but I know he would press the issue if it came to it.  No, I’m better off  _ not _ having physical contact with him, anyway.  It might weaken my resolve.

I can’t even look at him right now, and I’m glad when we set out.  Since Darkforge has been running without a rider, he isn’t fatigued at all yet, and Tenebris and I ride together first, with me behind the saddle to better distribute the weight.  We stop a few hours later, and it’s time to choose someone else.  Declan offers, and I accept, which surprises everyone.  Again, I’m careful not to look at Varric; but I see Garrett’s expression, and he glances over at Varric.  It’s enough for me to know I don’t want to see it.

I’m seated behind Declan, arms around him the same as I had with my brother, but the contact with his body feels strange.  I can see why Tenebris was concerned, but I know how I feel about Declan.  There won’t be a problem with him.  He and I chat as we ride together.

“Thanks for picking me first this time,” he says.  “I don’t think my ego could have taken another hit like that.”

I chuckle.  “Seriously?  You’re the Inquisitor.  Surely you have enough people flattering your ego that you don’t need me for that.”

“I guess so...that’s different, though.  I never really wanted that kind of attention.  They look at me like I’m some kind of holy symbol.  I think the reason I like you so much is because you treat me like I’m just a man.  Of course, you’re beautiful, which doesn’t hurt, but I think I like that you don’t have any real expectations from me, and want to help us, instead.”

I smile, even though I know he can’t see it behind him.

“You’re a good person, Declan.  I think they made the right choice for Inquisitor.”

“But still not good enough to be more than friends,” he clarifies.

“It was never about being good enough.  Friendship is a precious gift to be treasured.  I just can’t be distracted by romance, not with you or anyone else in the Inquisition.”

“I guess I assumed you and Garrett…” he states, leaving his ending implied.

“No, just friends.  He’s kind of like an extra brother, really.”

“He’s not going to like hearing that, but it does make me feel better.  So tell me more about dragons…”

* * *

I end up riding with Garrett for the last portion of the day, and he puts me up front in the saddle, taking the position behind me.  He waits until we’re back underway before he starts talking with me.  

“You picked Declan first?  I’m hurt, Ferox.”

I grinned, I can’t help it.  Hawke’s easy demeanor makes him really likeable.  “I liked his horse better,”  I comment, and get a chuckle near my ear.

“Look,” he says, and I know what’s coming next.  “I don’t mean to pry, but what’s going on between you and Varric?”

“What do you mean?”

“The two of you sneak off together yesterday, then you run off.  Then today, you leave together again, and come back separately, both looking entirely too happy.  Yes, I noticed that.  Now you’re not even speaking to him.  Varric’s pretty good at hiding his emotions, but I’ve known him for years, and I’ve seen the gamut in the last day alone.  What happened?”

I sigh.  “I guess I might as well tell you.  Varric kissed me.”

He exhales.  “Huh.  Didn’t know the old boy had it in him.  Guess that means we won’t be spending time together then.”

“Not in that context, no.  I realized you remind me too much of my brothers for me to have any other sort of feelings for you.”

“Ouch...having met Tenebris, I suppose we do have a few things in common.  But what about Varric?  I would have sworn he was hurt this morning when you didn’t choose him.  At the risk of sounding like his mother, I hope you’re not just messing with him.”

“No, I’m...it’s complicated.  I thought I could be with him, but I recently had a reminder of why that isn’t a good idea.”

“From your brother?”

“Yes, but it’s not just about him.  I’d just be setting us both up to suffer.”

“So you don’t want to be with him?”

“Of course I want to be with him!  Who wouldn’t?  He’s amazing.”

“Lucky dwarf,” he mutters with a chuckle.  “So what’s the problem?  I’d say you both deserve a little happiness.”

“I just can’t, Garrett, it wouldn’t be right.”

“Why?”

“There are things about me, about my family.  We’re...different than other families.  Varric would just end up getting hurt.”

“How so?”

“Family secrets. Ones I can’t share.”

“How bad can it be?  Maybe I can guess.  Let’s see...you’re sleeping with one of the brothers?” he teases.

“Ew, of course not!”

“You have an incurable illness and you only have three weeks to live,” he continues.

“Not even close, Garrett.”

“Already married?”

I just turn and give him an exasperated look.  He laughs.

“Okay, no.  Then clearly you must be exiled royalty of some far-off kingdom and have to reclaim your birthright.”

“Closer.  Still wrong, but closer.”

“Seriously?  You and your family are important people then?”

“We used to be.”

“Varric’s no slouch.  He’s a member of the Merchant’s Guild, a wealthy man, if that matters, and has a strong influence in social and political matters, both through the Inquisition and in Kirkwall.”

“You don’t need to sell me on his merits, Garrett.  There’s nothing wrong with him.  This is all me.”

“You should tell him.  Whatever it is, don’t hold it back.  Say it.”

“He wouldn’t believe me, even if I did.”

Garrett stops the horse, causing me to turn to look at him.  “Ferox.  Varric is quite possibly the best friend I’ve had in my entire life.  He’s always been there for me, listened to me when no one else would.  He’ll understand, whatever it is.”

“You make it sound so simple,” I grumble.  “Believe me when I say I’m trying to do the right thing by him.”

“Okay, say I agree that whatever this secret is, it’s so monumental that you can’t be together.  You at least owe him an explanation.  I didn’t give him my blessing for nothing.”

“Oh,” I respond instinctively.   _ Hawke gave us his blessing, how did I not understand that? _  “Are you going to tell him about my family?”

“The vague detail that they used to be important?  No.  Honestly, I’m hoping you tell him, everything, I mean.”

“No promises, but I’ll think on what you said.  I need to talk to him anyway.  Tonight, when we make camp, will you distract my brother for a few minutes?”

“Just give the sign, little apostate.”

*             *             *

That night, after we set up camp, I looked over at Garrett, and then my brother.  He smiles, and moves to pull his attention away.  Varric isn’t far from me in the circle of the fire.  I walk over to him.

“Will you walk with me?” I ask hesitantly.

He sighs in frustration, but nods.  We walk out of camp.  

“I’m going to do magic, hold onto my hand for a second, okay?”  I extend one hand, the one without the ring to Varric, and he takes it, frowning at me.  I twist the ring on my finger, and we’re transported somewhere else.  I don’t take us far.  We’ve covered enough ground on horseback today to gain a charge back on the ring, so this use leaves me with two again.

“Andraste’s flaming--sorry, I forgot you don’t like those curses.  I really need to come up with some different ones.  So any particular reason you decided to show me this little magic trick?”

“I needed to talk with you, and this may take a while.  I didn’t want my brother interrupting us. Don’t worry, we’re not far from camp.  I thought we would talk as we walk.”

“Fine, Firefly, but you wouldn’t even look at me today.  You’re going first, because this, I’ve gotta hear.”

“I had the talk with my brother,” I explain.

“Figured that one out, yeah,” he states, his lips pressed into a firm line.  “So why the cold shoulder?”

“It’s about my family.  I’m afraid we’re both going to get hurt if we continue to see each other.”

“Because they don’t approve?”  
“No...well, no, they don’t, but that isn’t why.  If it were just something as simple as that, there would be no problem.  There are things you don’t know…”

“You know what, stop, I’ve heard enough.  I know what I felt in that kiss.  You wanted it as much as I did, but if you want to end it, just say so, and stop making excuses.”

“I’m trying to tell you the truth here. It’s just hard, okay?  There are things about my family you don’t know,” I repeat.  “We’re not like other families.  Our magic sets us apart, and I haven’t been around mort--uh, normal people in a long time.  Truthfully, I don’t  _ want _ to end it, but you’re not like us, and eventually it would hurt us both.”

“I don’t understand at all.”

“I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.”  I take a deep breath.  “I...I’m a goddess.”  _ Good, I said it. _

He scoffs.  “Boy, you really think a lot of yourself, don’t you?”

“No, I’m serious about this.  My family and I are strong mages with near infinite lifespans.  Our people once worshipped us as gods.”

“Your brother put you up to this, right?” he questions, putting a hand to his head in a frustrated gesture.

“I’m not joking and I’m not lying.  I am Ferox the Destroyer, one of the four ancient gods of Tevinter.  Remember, I hinted at the story before?”

He just shakes his head at me, the wrinkle in his brow growing.  “I think Cullen had it right from the beginning.  You  _ are _ mad.”  He walks quicker, putting distance between himself and I.  I let him walk away from me, and I felt something wet on my cheek.  I look up, expecting rain clouds, but the night is thick with stars and not a cloud in the sky.  Reaching up to touch my cheek, I realize I’m crying.  Crying over a damned mortal.

_ I should have known better. _  I walk back to camp on my own and ignore the glare from my brother, and curious stare from Hawke.  I hope they can’t tell I’ve been crying.  I settle into my pallet by the fire and pretended to sleep, but it is a long time before sleep actually finds me.


	18. Stormy Weather

Chapter Eighteen: Stormy Weather

 

I awake angry the next morning, and the storm inside me has called a storm outside as well.  The rain starts not long after we’re out of bed.  Thunder rumbles and lightning flashes across the sky.  A scowl carves its way onto my features, and no one seems willing to approach me.  Except my brother, of course.  He’s used to my moods.

“I’m sorry, sister, I know it hurts, but it’s better this way,” he reminds me.  “Remember that the dragons still need you.”

 _The dragons._  Yes, that’s an easier thought to process.  I don’t want to give that bastard the satisfaction of knowing how much his rejection hurt me last night.  I resolve to let it go, and try to put a more pleasant expression on my face.   _Focus on the dragons.  There will be another one soon, and I can help keep it alive._

Garrett catches my attention, and points to his horse.  I sigh, knowing he wants me to ride with him first to hit me with questions about Varric again.   _And after I just managed to get my mind off of things.  Guess I might as well get this over with_.  After making sure my things are secured with Tenebris, I go across the camp to Hawke.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he says cheerfully, even though he can clearly see from my face that it is neither a good morning, nor is my mood sunny.

“Hello, Garrett,” I respond before mounting up.  

He climbs up behind the saddle, his arms lightly around me as before.  I wish for a moment we were closer, as it would have kept a bit of the rain off me, but I don’t really mind the soaking today.

“He’s worse today than yesterday,” he states in a disapproving tone.  “Now what happened?”

“I blame you,” I mutter.  “I followed your stupid advice, and tried telling him the truth.”

“Not hearing the problem so far.”

“First he thought I was making fun of him, and then he called me crazy and didn’t believe me at all.  I told you it wasn’t going to work.”

“Still, if you told him the truth, you did what you could.  I’m proud of you.”

“Fat lot of good it did me.  In the end, he still rejected me.  But, this was bound to happen sooner or later, I suppose.  Now it’s back to helping the dragons and not worrying about boys.”

“Can I ask what the big secret was?”

“You’ll just laugh at me, same as he did.  You’ll think I’m delusional.”

“Personally, I think you’re delightful,” he admits, and I smile despite myself.

“Fine, flatterer, get your way.  I told him about my family, about how our magic makes us different.”

“Yeah, we’ve established that already.  What else?”

“For one, we’ve extended our natural lifetimes far beyond that of normal humans.  I’m a _lot_ older than I look, Garrett.  Back when we were younger, the Tevinter people revered us as gods because of our powerful magic and near immortality.  They gave me the title ‘Ferox the Destroyer’.”

“Uh...I see why he had issues buying into that.  You can’t have a relationship because you’re a _goddess_?  Can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not the truth.  I’ve been holding back a lot of my powers.  Ask yourself, have you ever seen anyone who can do what I can do?”

He’s quiet, then admits, “No, I haven’t.”

“And I didn’t lie about talking with dragons, even though you and everyone else thought I was crazy.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Is it so hard to believe that the rest is true, as well?”

“Yes,” he answered honestly.  “But, even if that’s the case, why does that stop you from being with someone?”  I’m glad he doesn’t name Varric this time.  My heart hurts and the thunderstorm overhead is still raging, rain coming down in sheets.

“Being with mortals hasn’t gone well for us in the past.  My twin brother fell in love with a woman from Thedas and the humans betrayed him, killing her in a horrific way.  He went to save her, but he was too late, and it broke him.  He hasn’t been the same since then, and it’s been centuries.  

“Even if the one I choose doesn’t come to a bad end, he’ll still die a few years from now of old age, but I won’t.  I’ll still be me, watching him slowly fade away into nothing.  So my only options are I either grieve now, or I grieve later.  I can’t bring that kind of pain home to my twin again, I just can’t.  No, it’s better that Varric doesn’t want anything to do with me.  I should have thought to do something like that from the beginning.”

I feel the horse slow, and Garrett leans forward, wrapping his arms around me in a hug.  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” he murmurs in my ear.  “I’ve always thought Varric would make some woman happy if he ever dropped the idea of that damned Bianca.  Just his dumb luck that the one girl he likes ends up to be a goddess of destruction.”

“He did make me happy, for a little while, at least,” I whisper.  “I want to regret it, but I can’t bring myself to.  If I had it to do all over again, I don’t think I would have changed anything.”

“I know what you mean.  Isabela broke my heart when she left me, disappearing into thin air without a trace, but it was an amazing ride while it lasted.”

“Thank you for listening, Garrett.  You’re a good friend.”

“Rub it in, why don’t you?”

“What is it with you guys not appreciating friendship?”  
“It’s just hard to when your cute little body is so close to mine.  Makes a man think un-brotherly thoughts.”

I give a little squeak of surprise, and stiffen.  I hear him chuckle.  “Hey, it’s Varric’s loss in my eyes.  I backed off and gave him his chance, and it sounds like he blew it.  If you ever change your mind about me, you let me know.  I’m not afraid of things being a little messy.”

“Still not going to happen, but don’t discount my friendship.  I may be a bit impulsive and emotional at times, but I’m fiercely loyal to those who have earned my respect.  I didn’t need to come to the Inquisition to save the dragons.  I came because I wanted the mortals to understand and give you a chance to save yourselves.”

“And how are we doing so far?” he asks.

“I convinced my brother to stay, didn’t I?”

*             *             *

I ride with Tenebris next, and he is not pleased that Hawke had hugged me.  I stop him before he can start anything.  “I set him straight already, no worries.”  He stops, and pulls me up next to him, instead, narrowing his eyes at Garrett.

“Ferox is more than capable of taking care of her own problems,” he grunts.  “But you’re making me like you less.”

“Sorry, she just confided in me, and I felt bad for her.  It was meant as a comfort,” Hawke explains.

Tenebris doesn’t say anything, just guides me to Darkforge.  I stroke the horse’s soft muzzle again, and he allows it.  Tenebris lifts me up, and quickly follows.

“Now what have you done, sister?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m happy to see that you ended things with the dwarf,” he acknowledges.  “But what were you talking about with the human?  He said you confided in him.”

I pause for a moment before answering.  “I told him about us, what we are.”

“Why am I not surprised?” he says, shaking his head.  “Did he believe you?

“I’m not sure...maybe?”

“You’re complicating things again, Ferox.  We’re here to help the dragons, stop Corypheus from gaining too much power, and seal the Breach.”

“Is it so wrong to want their friendship?”

He sighs, and it’s a while before he finally answers in a softened tone,  “Maybe you’re right.”

“Seriously?  I expected another lecture.”

“We’re used to avoiding them, but maybe we’ve stayed in isolation too long.  Being around the people of Thedas again, laughing...I forgot what it feels like.”

“I know sometimes I act before I think, but I trust Hawke.  He’s been a good friend so far.  Declan too, for that matter, although he flirts entirely too much for his own good.  Stars, you should have seen him back at Skyhold.  I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to hit on you yet.”

“Who says he hasn’t?” Tenebris replies with a smile.

*             *             *

As luck would have it, Declan’s horse picks up a rock in its hoof before it’s time to switch.  We manage to get it out, and there doesn’t appear to be any permanent damage, but Declan doesn’t think I should ride double with him.  Disappointment crosses his face, and I’m hard pressed to keep my amusement to myself.

“Okay, guess I’ll ride with Bull, then,” I state, knowing Tenebris would have suggested it if I didn’t.

“No, he’s too big to have a second rider.  You’ll ride with Varric,” he announces.  I glance at Tenebris, who frowns at me again, but just shakes his head and looks away.

I sigh.  “Okay,” I say, not at all excited about this turn of events.  If this had happened yesterday, or the day before, I would have looked forward to the close proximity.  Now I’m dreading it.  Declan explains to Varric about the horse, and I see Varric carefully keeping his emotions hidden.  

We attempt to mount up, but as luck would have it, the saddle strap breaks.   _At least I wasn’t on the horse when it happened_.

“Just leave it,” Declan states.  “You guys will have to ride without a saddle for now, sorry.  I’m sure we’ll run into the riders at some point soon.”

After a few attempts, I’m able to get atop the horse.  No small feat, given the downpour from the storm.  Varric follows, using a similar system of climbing rocks nearby.  It’s a little embarrassing, but it works.  Once we’re both settled, him behind me, I’m immediately aware of the difference of riding with him versus the others.  I feel the corded muscles in his thighs pressing against me, and a warm tingle transfers into my body.   _This is a bad idea._

“Sorry about this,” I tell him.  “Declan insisted.”

“Yeah,” he says, his breath stirring in my hair.  The difference in our heights is negligible, meaning he can’t look over my head the way Hawke had.

“Can you see to guide the horse?  I should take the reins,” I offer.

“Sure.”  

 _One-word answers.  Great.  How long is this stretch of the ride again?_  Still, he hands over the reins, and I take over controlling his horse.  I lean forward a bit and murmur sweet things to it, and it seems to perk up, moving into a lively canter.  However, this seems to cause Varric to lose his balance, and he grabs onto me to avoid falling off.

Blushing, I help stabilize him again, calming the horse back to a walk, but we’re quickly falling behind the others.

“I know this is awkward, but maybe it’s best if you hold on to me.  We need to catch up.”

He places his hands on my hips, and as his fingers dig in, I give a small gasp.   _No way he heard that, right?_  My face warms, and I’m consciously aware of his fingers on my hips, and the gentle sway of the horse causing me to bump up against him.  My breathing quickens.

“So...you and Hawke,” Varric finally speaks up.

“What?” I had been totally distracted by his touch that I hadn’t been paying attention.

“I saw you and Hawke earlier.  Just given what you said to me, it seemed a bit sudden to be moving on, that’s all.”

“Oh, you saw him hug me.  Notice the phrasing, Varric.   _He_ hugged _me_ , not the other way around.  Your jealousy is cute, but not warranted.  I’m not interested in Hawke.  Only you.”

He exhales.  “Shit, woman how can you just say it like that after yanking my chain like you did?”

I shake my head, my anger getting the best of me.  A flash of lightning nearby illuminates the area as though it were midday, and not a stormy afternoon.   _To the Void with him, he doesn’t get to do that after I tried to trust him._ “My conscience is clear, you stubborn dwarf.  If you don’t want to hear the truth, then I’ll stop speaking altogether.”

He grunts in frustration and we ride in silence for a few moments.  But then I notice something else.  The pads of his fingertips flex, stroking the flesh of my hips.  Distracted again from my anger, a tiny moan escapes me before I can pull it back.

“You know, Firefly, you’re going to have to control those reactions better if you don’t want everyone to know.”

Startled, I lean forward enough to turn and look at him, not caring that he can see my passion-flushed cheeks.  “You’re doing that on purpose!”

“Eyes forward.  You don’t want your brother figuring out what’s going on,” he murmurs, and I immediately turn back around, now grateful for the heavy rain that obscures us a little from the others.  One hand lets go of my hip and trails down the outside of my thigh.  Given the angle, no one would be able to see it unless they were a lot closer.  I whimper, but try to keep my expression neutral.

“I think you like sneaking around a lot more than you let on, Firefly.”

 _He’s right, I’m enjoying this, damn him._  “Why are you doing this, Varric?  I thought you weren’t interested anymore.”

“Do you want me to stop?”  His hand stills.

“I...no, don’t stop,” I utter, allowing my back to fall against his warm chest.  I’m rewarded with a low chuckle against my ear.

His strong fingers drag lazily back up my leg, this time on top, pausing to grip my hips before moving upwards.  His warm hand slides up my side to my waist, his thumb rubbing patterns upward, inches from my breast.

I hold my breath in anticipation, and want to close my eyes, but I keep my face turned forward and my head down to try to hide my blushing enjoyment.  His hand releases my waist and moves back downward - despite my small sound of protest - and his fingers flex, curling in, and then relaxing.  Finally, he pulls on both my hips, and I’m aware of a firmness against my lower back.

“At least I know you like me,” I comment, parroting the words he had said to me the other night.  There’s a gentle kiss on my shoulder, barely perceptible through the thick fabric of my quilted armor, but that simple act breaks every promise I made to myself to stay away.  “Varric,” I sigh.

His thumb touches the waistband of my flowing trousers with a firm caress, seeking entrance, and once finding it, slides his thumb inside, touching the bare flesh of my hip, but not moving any further.  He rests his hands there, and allows the tension from them to relax.  

“Liking you was never the problem,” he responds, mimicking my return to our previous conversation.  “Who could go back to winter after touching the sweet, wild heat of summer?” he asks, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

I grin in return, and notice that the rain has eased up a bit, the thunder and lightning subsiding.  “There are things you should know about me, if you’re willing to listen now.  Things I’m hoping you’re willing to accept.”

“Alright, I’m listening.  Tell me about the Tevinter gods.”


	19. Stories

Chapter Nineteen: Stories

 

“Thank you,” I tell Varric.

“For what?  I haven’t even done anything yet.”

“For being willing to hear me out.  It’s a lot to take in, I understand.  But I promise you, everything I’m about to tell you is the truth.”

A sigh.  “Okay, Firefly.”

“We are the four gods from ancient Tevinter.  My twin brother and I are the eldest.  Lucis is known as the Creator, although he has been called by other names.  Back then, he was all that is good and kind, nurturing and giving.  He had a smile for everyone and could brighten even the darkest day.  It’s no wonder he was my favorite.  We were very close, once.

“They called me the Destroyer, master of the elements, as you know.  You’ve seen some of what I can do, but I’m capable of far more.  Lucis and I are opposite sides of the same coin, and neither can exist without the other.”  The last is said with a hint of sadness, again remembering the man my brother once was.  I still love him, but I miss his heartfelt smile and the warmth of his magic.

“And the others?” Varric asks, picking up on my hesitation.

“Etiam, the third, is known as Etiam the Wise, or more recently, the Fadewalker.  He understands spirits better than anyone alive, maybe with one exception.  He’s highly intelligent, but sometimes, as I said, coldly logical.  He cares for us siblings, but he often approaches life in terms of probabilities and risks, not emotions.

“Tenebris is the youngest.  They called him Tenebris the Dark, or just the Darkness, and while most still revered and respected him, there were those who feared him.  I believe they lacked understanding of how his knowledge could help us.  Tenebris believes in the great balance, that all things will stabilize in time.  That’s why he studies the darker arts, to recognize when the balance is shifting and how to nudge it back in the right direction.

“But that’s just who we are.  It doesn’t explain what it means for you and I.  I am not the age I appear to be.  As I said, we extended our natural lifespans through magic.  That means that mortals live and die in what feels like the blink of an eye for us.  Choosing to be with a mortal means accepting that you will grow old and I will not, and I will live on through the ages without you after your death, natural or otherwise.  My brother, being my twin, will experience my grief on top of his when the time comes.  That’s why I tried to stay away from you.”

Varric is silent, still behind me on the horse, hands resting lightly on my hips.  I wait for his response, but I can feel my heart in my throat.

“I...don’t know what to do with that.”

“Oh.  That’s fair, I suppose.”

More silence.  I feel panic start to rise in my chest, and the sting of tears threatening to form in my eyes.

Finally, he says, “Ferox-”

Declan calls out, “Riders in the distance!”

_ So much for hearing what Varric had to say.  He used my name again too.  I like it when he does that. _  I sigh as Varric moves his hands to a more acceptable position, and I pull the mount up next to Tenebris and wait for instructions from Declan.

I peer off in the direction that Declan is pointing, and easily recognize the Inquisition colors on the horses.  “It’s the Inquisition,” I announce.  “Looks like that mount is here for you, Tenebris.  Now I can have Darkforge back.”

“He  _ is _ a good steed.  Perhaps I will keep him for myself after all.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try it, brother.”

I move to dismount, and Varric stops me with a subtle touch on my waist.  He turns his head away from my brother and whispers, “Wait.”

_ Wait?  Why would he...oh. _  It dawns on me why he might not want me to move from in front of him.  Or rather, I can still feel it against my backside.  I hadn’t been the only one affected by our brief interlude.  I readjust where I’m sitting, putting a little more distance between us, and he huffs again in amusement.

“I just need a minute,” he explains.

I give a tiny nod, but we remain on his horse together until the Inquisition forces reach us.  He then removes his hand from my waist and dismounts.  He offers a hand to me to help me down, but Tenebris is already there, glaring daggers at him.  I allow my brother to lower me to the ground.  

I flash one last look at Varric, wanting to see his expression.  His brow is crinkled in what appears to be confusion before it settles back into a pleasant smile.   _ He’s got his guard up again. _  I sigh, turning away.   _ I understand what Hawke said now.  I tried, I’ve done all that I can, and it’s up to Varric if he accepts it or not. _

Riding my own horse is a relief.  My nerves are a bit shot after talking so much about my love life.  And, I admit, I’m still a bit aroused from Varric’s teasing.  I probably shouldn’t have allowed him to touch me like that, but I can’t seem to say no where he’s concerned.  Surprisingly though, I find it easier to focus now, having clearly told Varric about the problem.  He knows the truth and it’s out of my hands.  I find myself eager to get back to Skyhold and my mission with the dragons.

*             *             *

As I suspect, I don’t get any more time alone with Varric.  Tenebris sees to it personally, but I honestly don’t mind.  He hasn’t tried to approach me yet, which tells me he’s still thinking over what I told him.  Time, I have.

I enjoy the ride back up into the mountains, and when we finally reach the bridge back into the keep I feel the excitement burning again.  I can’t wait to go see another dragon.  Both my ring and my brother’s are fully charged again.  That’s always a relief, knowing I can travel in the blink of an eye.  I’ll need to be more careful, though.  Only my brother and Varric know about my ability.

I shiver and rub my arms for warmth.  It’s still quite cold here in the mountains, especially without the benefit of my powers, but it’s beautiful.  The day is clear, and the sun shines down on a recent coating of snow.

An agent arrives to take our horses back to the stables, and we look to Declan for instruction.

He states, “You can all go back about your own business for now.  I’m going to consult with my advisors, and I’ll give you your next missions.  Except you, Ferox.  I need you to come with me and report in.  Tenebris, you should report to Fiona.  She leads the mages and will be able to give you an assignment.  We’ll be looking to you for help soon, though, I suspect.  She can usually be found in the upstairs library.”

I sigh, my dream of a hot bath fading quickly, but I do want to get moving on convincing the Inquisition and hopefully saving more dragons.  Tenebris gives a small bow, and exits.  Everyone else scatters: Hawke heads toward the keep, no doubt back to his tower room in the upper ramparts; Varric follows him, presumably to sit by the fire, or return to his own room, and the Iron Bull strides off toward the Herald’s Rest.

I square my shoulders and follow Declan.  We don’t head straight for the keep, to my surprise, but toward one of the side staircases that leads up to the ramparts.  As we pass one of the stalls, I hear a female voice say, “That’s her, the dragon girl!”

I glance over, trying to locate the source of the comment, and see two merchants talking with one another, a sharply dressed woman in Orlesian fashion, and a man with stylish hair and tight-fitting pants.    
“Oh, pardon the comment, my lady, but is it true?” she asks.  “Did you really talk a dragon down and ask it to leave?”

Declan grins.  “That’s right.  Thankfully, she’s on our side.”

The two begin whispering between them and we move on.  “You didn’t help stop the gossip, you realize,” I tell him.

“I didn’t mean to stop it.  It’s good for morale to let them talk,” he answers.

I shrug.  “I suppose I am ‘dragon girl’, so it doesn’t offend me, really.”

I hear the term “dragon girl” a few more times before we reach Cullen’s office.  “Why are we meeting here instead of going to the War Room?” I ask.

“I’ve found it’s faster if I just call them to the meeting myself rather than wait on messengers.”

“You’re a hands-on leader.  I respect that,” I comment.

He grins, and opens the door, allowing me to enter first.  Cullen is alone, pacing in his office.  He smiles awkwardly when he sees me, and is a bit relieved when the Inquisitor follows me in the door.

“I’m happy to see you made it back safely,” he says in greeting.  “I’ve read your reports, and I have to say, I’m surprised that you indeed accomplished what you said, Miss Ferox.”

_ Reports?  When did Declan send reports?  Oh, the ravens.  That makes sense.  He must have been communicating back home, the same as I was, only he was using ravens. _

“I’m hoping my area of expertise is a bit more understood now, Commander.  I’m eager to offer my assistance to the Inquisition.”

“I am glad to hear it,” a voice says from the doorway.

I turn to look, and see a formidable woman in plate armor.  She is not currently wearing a helm.  The symbol of the Inquisition is emblazoned on her chest, and she carries a longsword at her hip.  Her dark hair is encircled with braids.  Her physique and the small scars that line visible portions of her skin mark this woman as a warrior.

“Cassandra, glad you could join us,” Declan welcomes her, putting a hand firmly on her shoulder.

“Ah,” the woman says, seeing me, “this must be the ‘dragon girl’ I’ve been hearing about.”

“And you must be Seeker Pentaghast.  The name is Ferox, but I suppose Dragon Girl is a fine enough title.”

She smiles.  “I was hoping for a moment of your time. I’d like to ask you about your ability.”

Cullen interjects, “That can wait till later.  We need to discuss the clearing efforts in the Exalted Plains.  Ferox, it’s actually good that you’re here to hear this.  We’ve managed to clear the tunnel, opening up passage to Ghilan'nain's Grove and the Crow Fens.  Only problem is that there’s a dragon living there, defending the area.  We’ve not been able to get any closer.”

“A swamp dragon?” I ask excitedly.  “Did someone get a good look at it?  What kind was it?”

Cullen tolerates my questions patiently, and states, “I don’t know.  Frederic or Minaeve might know more.  I do know one of the agents sketched a picture.  Perhaps your dragon knowledge will be of use here.”

I look at Declan.  “I’m in on this one, right?  Oh please?” I ask, practically begging.

He laughs, “Of course...but I have to go with Hawke to the Western Approach to deal with the Grey Wardens.  I won’t be able to lead this mission.  Cassandra, will you take a team out to let Ferox work her magic on the dragon?”

“Yes, it will give me time to ask the questions I want answered anyway,” she says, a small smile crossing her face.

“Excellent.  Assemble the members you want, set out tomorrow.  Ferox, I suggest you go meet with our former creature researcher, Minaeve, and Frederic of Serault, a professor of Draconology at the University of Orlais.”

“A dragon expert?  Don’t mind if I do,” I respond with a chuckle.  “Ten crowns says I know more than he does.”

“I don’t think I’ll be taking that bet,” Declan laughs.


	20. Research

Chapter Twenty: Research

 

I see Varric as I pass through the main hall.  I’m headed to my meeting with Minaeve and Frederic of Serault in the library, and he’s standing near the fireplace conversing with Solas.  I frown when I see Fen’Harel.  We still haven’t had an opportunity to have our little “chat”.   _ Later today, _ I promise myself. I’ll grab Tenebris and we’ll corner that slippery elven bastard.  But even seeing Solas can’t distract me for too long.  Varric doesn’t see me at first, engrossed as he is in the conversation.

As I need to pass by them to head up the stairs, I announce my presence.  “Excuse me, gentlemen,” I say, and brush past both of them without looking at either one.   _ Let them read into that what they will _ .  I take the stairs to the second level, and I’m not surprised to see Dorian reading again.  

“Don’t you ever get tired of dusty books?” I ask, gaining his attention.

“Don’t  _ you _ ever get tired of dragons?  Honestly, it’s all people can talk about.  I assume you’re going to see Frederic?  That little chap has been buzzing about talking with another dragon expert for days.”

“I’m hopeful he’s at least been able to identify the one they found in the Exalted Plains.  Want to come with?”

“Why not?  I’ve read this passage twice already anyway,” he says, smiling.  

“I knew I liked you, Tevinter,” I comment, grinning back.

We walk together, waving at Fiona, who’s talking at my brother. He isn’t making even the least amount of effort to hide his boredom   _ Play nice, brother.   _ We finally find Minaeve and Frederic in a far section of the library.  Minaeve is a slender elven woman with short auburn hair.  She’s plain-looking, but stands with confidence.  Frederic is completely Orlesian - that is to say, dressed impeccably in a long red coat with shiny metal pauldrons and wearing an ornate mask that covers his features.  I always wondered what the attraction was to those things.  I suppose if you’re a player in the great Game of Orlais, you could probably hide your expressions better under a mask to keep your intentions from being known.

“Hello fellow researchers,” Frederic greets us.  “I am already aware of who you are, Miss Ferox.  I am Frederic of Serault, and I am most pleased to discuss the field of Draconology with you.”

“Frederic, and that would make you researcher Minaeve,” I say, nodding to each.  “I hear you have a sketch of the dragon in the Crow Fens.”

“Indeed,” Minaeve states, and goes over to where she and Frederic have obviously already been comparing notes.  I stop her as she flips through pages.

“That’s an Abyssal High Dragon,” I comment.  “I thought it was killed by the Inquisition in the Western Approach.”

“No, you are correct,” Frederic states.  “I had been studying its hunting patterns for the advancement of science.  In that effort, the Inquisition helped me create lures, but alas, the beast attacked them and they had no other recourse but to kill the poor thing.”

“Then you would have preferred to let it live?” I ask, hope filling my chest.

“Maker, yes!” he exclaims, although Minaeve frowns.

“I’m afraid we have a difference of opinion.  I enjoy my studies, but I’m using the materials I gather to help identify weaknesses, to make it easier for our soldiers to fight the creatures.”

“Now that I’m here, that won’t be necessary for dragons anymore,” I declare, and I feel Frederic’s admiration go up a notch.  Dorian chuckles softly behind me at my statement.

“It makes no difference.  I will study them the same, but if my research in that area is no longer needed, then so be it.”

She goes back to flipping through the notes until she sees the sketch.  It’s rough, but I’d know that coloring on the wings anywhere.  I exhale and a wide grin spreads on my face.

“A Gamordan Stormrider!  Those are famous!” I remark, quickly leaning in to study the picture.

“Yes, that was my conclusion as well, after seeing the sketch,” Frederic states.

“Forgive me for sounding ignorant here, but what exactly does that mean?” Dorian asked from nearby.

“It’s another lightning type.  Their image is used in all kinds of decorating - paintings and the like - in Orlais.  They’re honestly my favorite,” I tell him, turning my still-smiling face toward him.  “They tend to frequent swamps like this.  When I heard where we were looking, I’d hoped it would be one.  Just as pretty as the Northern Hunter was in the Black Fens, I’m sure.  See the markings here on the wings and tail?  Breathtaking in person.  By the way, Frederic, you will be happy to know that Miracle went quite happily to her new home and won’t bother the people of Crestwood again.”

“Miracle?” Dorian questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Varric’s suggestion,” I reply, shrugging.  “She really was a beautiful dragon.  This one should be fun.”

“So you’re going to talk to this one, as well?”

“That’s the plan.  This one looks a bit older than the other one.  It should have no problems understanding the language.”

“I should like to see this.  The people of Tevinter are always going on about dragons, and old gods.  I think I’d like to watch, if you don’t mind.”

“I would as well, for scientific reasons, of course,” Frederic added in his thick Orlesian accent.

“Your company would be welcome, but it’s Cassandra’s mission.  You’ll have to get the approval through her,” I inform him.  “So far, she and I are the only members of the mission that I’m aware of.”

“I’ll take my leave then, and go seek the Seeker,” Dorian says with a bow.  “Will you be joining us for dinner?” There’s a small upturn to his lips that tells me he’s thinking of the last time that I attempted dinner at the Inquisitor’s table.

“You know... I think I will.”

*              *             *

After a few more minutes of discussion with Frederic and Minaeve, I manage to extract myself and I decide to go to my room to change for dinner.  I return using the same path as before.  Solas is gone now from the area near his room, and I wonder if he’s avoiding me.  I walk past Varric, but he stops me with a word.

“Ferox,” he says.   _ Damn it, that’s not playing fair, saying my name like that. _  I stop, and turn toward him.

“Yes, Varric?”

“Got a minute?” he asks simply.

“For you?  Of course,” I answer, smiling at him.  He gestures for me to follow and enters another one of the side doors.  This keep really is confusing.  We end up in what appears to be an underground chamber.  It’s dusty and full of cobwebs.  I’m fairly certain these rooms aren’t used very often, but he doesn’t stop, going through another doorway on the far side.  We enter a wine cellar.   _ Okay, I guess we’ve met in similar spaces before. _

I stand and wait for him to speak.  He looks uncomfortable, running a hand over his hair, holding the back of his neck.  I can tell he’s trying to build up the nerve to say something, so I try to stay patient.

“I need you to clarify something for me,” he finally says.

“Alright.”

“When you told me all that the other day...did you mean…shit, I’m no good at this.  I should just make up a story, it would be far easier.”   


“No, I like it when you’re direct with me,” I respond, attempting to encourage him.

“Did you mean you wanted to be with me?  That you were willing to risk it?”

“I  _ should _ stay away from you, but every time I’m close to you, all my resolve is gone. I don’t want to stay away anymore.  No, to the Void with the consequences--you’re what I want.”

“And if I touch you, I’m not going to turn into a toad or anything?”

“Okay, now who’s yanking someone’s chain?” I poke him.  “I may have a lot of magic at my command, but I’m still just a woman, Varric.”

“Good to know,” he says, chuckling, and steps in closer to me.  I take a step back, and see the confusion returning.

“Not if you still have doubts.  I will wait for your answer, once you’re sure.”  I step close, lean in and kiss him on the cheek.  I turn and walk away from him.  He lets me, which gives me the confirmation I needed that I had done the right thing just now, despite what the rest of me wants.   _ You don’t want him if he’s not in it for real.  _

I reach the doorway when he speaks again.

“I’m leaving with Hawke and the Inquisitor to go the Western Approach,” he informs me.  “I may be gone a while.”

“And I’m going with Cassandra to deal with a dragon in the Exalted Plains.  Perhaps you’ll have an answer for me when we both get back.”

I look back, and he’s crossed the room to reach me already.  He embraces me, but doesn’t move to kiss me.  “Be careful,” he says.

“You too, Varric.  Be safe.  Say hello to Alistair for me.”

 


	21. Second Impressions

Chapter Twenty-One: Second Impressions

 

I return to the main hall and find my way back to my room.  I’m still alone in the small, cold sleeping chamber.  It’s the first time I’ve had real privacy in ages.  A bath has been drawn for me and left by some unseen helpers.   _Declan, I bet_.  He’s really amazing at leading and delegating.  They did make a good choice for Inquisitor.

I warm up the fire with a bit of magic, remove my clothing and relax in the bath for a few moments, appreciating the warmth of the water.  I wash my body and hair thoroughly, trying to get rid of the dirt from traveling.  Once the water starts to grow cold and I’m certain I’m as clean as I’m getting, I step out of the bath and dry off.  I use a bit of magic to blow heat over my hair, helping it to dry a bit faster.

I decide to dress for the occasion, but I still want to feel protected, so I go with armor.  Some of the others had worn theirs the last time at the table, as I recall.  I select a similar pair of flowing trousers to what I have been wearing, that are loose in the thigh, but gather near the calf.  This pair is in shades of pink, orange, and peach that blend seamlessly together.  On top, I choose a corseted sleeveless tunic that I’m fairly certain enhances my small, but proportional curves.  Over the tunic, I wear a long embroidered coat in a deep pink color.  It has a similar high collar to my blue armor, but I leave the coat open.  The sleeves bell outward just a little over my forearms before gathering at the wrist.  

I style my hair with braids and twists crisscrossing the back, but leave the bulk of my wavy locks down.  I add a few jeweled hair pins to embellish my dark hair.  I look in the mirror, turning this way and that, and, seeing the subtle glint of the jewels as I move, I decide I’m satisfied with my appearance.

With no further time to rest, I leave my room.  There are two people standing outside my door.  They immediately go in and start emptying the tub.   _I need to thank Declan_.  I find my way through the twisting hallways to the main hall.  

It’s a slightly different crowd from before.  Declan is there, of course, and Dorian, and Varric.  I give Varric what I hope is my best friendly expression.

“Declan, thank you for allowing me to dine with you again today,” I say as I approach the table.

“I would have been disappointed to leave without seeing you again,” he replies. “You look stunning, as usual.”

I make a point to sit between Dorian and Declan, which puts me directly across from Cassandra.  I smile at her, attempting a friendly greeting, and she flashes a small one back in return.   _Ok, not as stern as she appears.  Good._ A red-headed woman has joined us as well.  She is dressed in a hooded long tunic with chainmail sections covering the front.  She, like Seeker Pentaghast, is very prominently wearing the symbol of the Inquisition.   _Someone important here, then._  I look to Dorian for an introduction.

“Ah yes,” Dorian says, indicating the red-haired woman. “This is Leliana, and while you clearly know nothing about her, I’m sure she has already thoroughly investigated, and now knows everything there is to know about you.  Leliana is the Inquisition’s spymaster.”

“A pleasure,” she says with a small nod of her head.  “Dorian exaggerates of course, but we all have a few secrets, no?”

“Some more than others, I suppose,” I reply with a polite smile.  

“Funny, though, I wasn’t actually able to find out much about you,” she says, the pleasant expression never leaving her face.

“Well, we moved around a lot, so that’s to be expected,” I explain.

 _This is a dangerous woman.  She won’t find anything about our family, because she doesn’t know where to look.  I didn’t lie, I_ was _born in the small fishing village on the coast, like I said, but I didn’t specify_ when, _exactly.  She probably assumes I’m hiding my identity._  But I’m determined that this dinner will go more civilly than the last one.  Dragon Girl is bad enough; I don’t want to become known as Ferox the Table Breaker, or Ferox the Dinner Wrecker.  I sigh.   _I can do this, right?  Dorian is here, he’ll make it easier.  And Declan._

Suddenly reminded, I lean over and whisper to the Inquisitor.  “Do I have you to thank for ordering the bath for me?”

Confusion crosses his features, “No, but I wish I had thought of that.”

I’m fairly certain Varric wouldn’t have done it, and Dorian went to see Cassandra and wouldn’t have had time.  So who gave me the gift of the bath?

“If you want my opinion, I’d say it was Leliana,” Dorian whispers on my other side, having overheard our conversation.

“Oh, aren’t you all the little conspirators?” Leliana comments, obviously curious about our quiet interaction.

“Just trying to figure out who generously ordered a bath for me.  Dorian has a theory that it might have been you.”

“Indeed.  Every woman deserves a nice bath after a long journey, yes?” she responds, the small smile back again, and I can’t tell if it’s genuine or not.  I decide it doesn’t matter.

“Then my thanks should go to you, dear lady.  A bath was exactly what I needed after weeks on the road.  It was most thoughtful of you.”

“We’re still expecting two more, correct?” Cassandra says, looking toward the door.

“Yes.  Ah, here they are now,” Declan answers, gesturing toward the door.

My brother walks in next to a man I’ve never seen before.  He’s tall, but not as tall as Tenebris.  He’s broad of shoulder and has a beard sculpted into a rather flattering shape.  He’s wearing armor, but his doesn’t have the symbol of the Inquisition like the rest.  His displays the griffon I know represents the Grey Wardens.

“Who’s the handsome newcomer?” Dorian asks next to me.

“The one with the beard?” I ask, fascinated by it.

“No, dear girl, definitely not, although that says a few things about your taste.  The tall one.”

I turn to him, surprised.  “Um, Dorian, that’s my brother.”

“Truly?  That fits, you’re both gorgeous, but did he get manage to get all of the height in the family?”

I laugh.  Dorian is delightful, and if I’m guessing correctly, I don’t have to worry about this one liking me.  That’s a relief.  “No, Etiam is around the same height.  I just didn’t manage to get any of it, apparently.”

“A tiny little spitfire,” he grins at me.

“That’s right.  I may be small, but I’m feisty.”

Tenebris and the Grey Warden approach the table.  “Warden Blackwall, Tenebris, I’m happy you could join us,” Declan states, standing and welcoming them to the table.  Declan introduces everyone.

“Ah,” Blackwall says, “the Dragon Girl.”

“I suppose that’s accurate,” I answer. _I think I’m coming to like this new title._

Tenebris states, “I was just discussing Corypheus’s so-called Archdemon with the Warden.”  He slides a look at Blackwall that I can’t read.  I’ll need to talk to my brother about that later.

“Which we both know isn’t a true ancient at all,” I add.

“Right, just a high dragon that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Still a formidable foe, but it’s good to know this isn’t a real Blight,” Blackwall states.

Tenebris continues, “Blackwall has been informing me about how red lyrium has been used to infect the templars and create these new red templars.”

“Red templars?  That sounds...terrifying,” I respond.

Dorian comments, “And here I thought the Venatori were going to be our biggest problem, but no, let’s give the poison lyrium to the templars, turn them into nightmarish monsters.  That’s a marvelous idea!”

“Any luck on a way to combat the corruption?” I ask Tenebris, but aim the question at the rest of the table, as well.

“Not so far.  It would help if I had a way to study the red lyrium directly, but safely.  I’m certain the answer lies there; we just haven’t figured it out yet.”

Varric clears his throat.  “I...may be able to help with that.  I have a contact who helped me build the box used to store the piece we first found in the ancient thaig.  I’ve been keeping it in Kirkwall and have alchemists studying it in shifts.”

“That would be most helpful information.  Any chance we could bring the specimen here?” Tenebris asks.

“You want to bring that shit in the house?  Okay, but you’re cleaning up after it,” he jokes.

“Maybe it would be better if we sent you to Kirkwall, Tenebris,” Cassandra suggests.  “You could speak with the alchemists personally and determine what they have learned.”

“Good thinking,” Tenebris admits.  “To Kirkwall, then.”

“Oh, perhaps you could go visit Varric’s brother, Bartrand, while you’re there.  He’s in Kirkwall, right Varric?”

Varric nods.

“It would let you see the effects of the contamination first hand.  And hopefully, you can figure out something to help him.”

“Worth a try,” Tenebris admits. “Will you be joining me, Ferox?”

“No, I’ve been assigned a mission with Cassandra in the Exalted Plains.  There’s a Gamordan Stormrider,” I tell him excitedly.

“Lucky. Those are your favorite,” he responds with a grin.

“I know!” I exclaim.  “But, it means we’ll be separated.”

“Not for long.  You’ll probably be back before I will, but I won’t be much longer, I’m sure.”

“Cassandra, have you chosen who will be on our team?” I ask her, hoping Dorian will be traveling with us.

“Yes,  besides you and I, we will be taking Solas, and Sera,” she informs me.  I look over a Dorian who shrugs.

“We already had two mages, we did not need a third,” states Cassandra.

“Traveling with Solas…” I blurt out, then realize what I’ve said.

“That’s right,” Varric comments, remembering.  “There was bad blood between your families.”

I feel Tenebris’s gaze for a moment, before Leliana speaks up.

“So there _is_ someone who knows your family, after all,” she says, suddenly curious.  “Still, it would have to be the mage without much of a history, either.”

I just shrug.  Best not to give her any more information.  I look to Cassandra instead.  “So Cassandra, you had questions about dragons?”

“Not exactly.  Dragons, I know.  I’m from a long line of Nevarran dragon hunters,” she explains.   _Ugh, dragon hunters.  Worse than Wardens.  And I have to follow this woman?_  “I just want to know how it is that you do what you do.”

“I use elemental magic and talk to them.  The trick is getting them to listen,” I tease, but she doesn’t laugh.  “Okay, but I guess you want more specifics.  What are you getting at, Cassandra?”

“When I was younger, there was a girl, a mage, who could do what you could do.  It started as just a unique gift with animals.  But there were...bad people, some high-placed, who used this girl, forced her to drink the blood of dragons to enhance her power.  She was later able to command them.”

My horror must have shown in my expression.  

“I take it that’s not how you obtained your gift,” she comments.

I shake my head.  “No, I would _never_ harm a dragon unless I had no other option.  I certainly wouldn’t do it just for power.  Dragons are precious, magical.  They should be protected and preserved.  The girl...what happened to her?”

“She lived, and her power returned to normal.  However, after everything that she had been through, her emotions became too much for her, and the resulting demons that she attracted...they were forced to make her Tranquil for the safety of everyone.”

“Tranquil?” I choke out.  

“I take it you don’t approve.  I’m not surprised, given your upbringing.”

I sigh.   _This is really hard to be civil.  Keep it together._

“Sister,” Tenebris cautions.

“No, that poor girl, that makes me so angry.  Made Tranquil, because of someone’s greed!  That kind of need for power and glory dooms us all,” I say, hoping for a reaction.  I get none, blank faces looking at me, unchanged.  I finally lose my temper, standing at my place, my chair falling to the floor behind me.  “Can’t you see you’re killing yourselves?!  Your ignorance will be the end of Thedas!”

“Ferox!” Tenebris calls out, finally catching my attention.  I look at him, embarrassed.  “That’s enough.  I know you mean well, but if they don’t understand, shouting isn’t going to _make_ them understand.”  He comes around the table and hugs me.

“I feel like I missed something,” Leliana says in the calm tone of hers.  “What don’t we understand?”

“The true consequence of the death of dragons,” he tells her.

“What are you talking about?”  Cassandra asks.

“The death of all magic.”

“I’ve heard this theory before,” Dorian interjects.  “I read something on this once.  That dragons contain magic, and absorb it as they grow. And when they die, a bit of the world’s magic goes with them.”

Tenebris answers, “Yes and no.  They do absorb some, but mostly they grow it themselves.  They literally _are_ magic, just as lyrium is.  Dragons and lyrium support all of magic on this side of the Veil.  Without them, magic will die.  And without magic, all life will end.”

“Correction, brother.  Magic is already dying.  The lyrium has been poisoned and the dragons were hunted nearly to extinction.  So much has been lost already, and it is only because of the keepers of dragons that Thedas hasn’t already fallen.”  I turn to the others.  “I apologize for losing my temper.  I just want so badly for you to recognize the danger and _help_ us.”

“ _Us..._ help _you,_ not you help the Inquisition,” Declan clarifies, finally speaking after being silent for several minutes.

“You know this is why I came here, Declan.  I wanted to convince you how important this is.  We should work together.”

“ _We_ should work with _you_...you’re talking like you’re not part of this.”

“Of course I am... _we_ are.”

“You still see yourself as different from us.”

“I’m on your side, Declan.  The Breach needs to be healed.  Corypheus must be defeated. The red lyrium poses a danger to us all.  Saving the dragons is in line with saving the world.”

“Firefly…” Varric says, and I look over at him.  I give him a wistful smile.  He looks concerned, but doesn’t move from his seat.  “What would you have us do?”

I smile at him, grateful that he’s trying.  “I need to save the dragons that we can.  I’ll be successful in the Exalted Plains, I promise, but the Inquisition should avoid engaging any other dragons until I can get there.  They can scout other locations if we need to relocate them, but I mostly just need them to stay out of my way and let me handle the dragons.”

“So then you refuse to teach others to do as you do,” Cassandra concludes.

“Not refuse, no, it’s more like I can’t.  It would take more time than we have.  You’d need a master of primal magic, which is a rare enough thing, and one who can speak Draconic on top of that.  I’m fairly certain you don’t have anyone who fits that description.”

“Ferox really is the best there is at this,” Tenebris insists.  I smile at him, happy that he’s behind me in this.  “Our family _isn’t_ like most, but both of us have signed on for this.  The dragons could not be in better hands than hers. Get her to them, and you will see.”

“Thank you, brother.”

“Who _are_ you people, exactly?  I haven’t been able to find any evidence that you even existed, and I can find just about anyone,” Leliana asks directly.

Tenebris and I look at one another.  I shake my head.   _They’ll never believe us without seeing it._

“Let it suffice to say that where we are from, our family is legendary,” he says enigmatically.

“You know our agenda already, we’re not a threat to you,” I add.  “We just want to stabilize the world and help the dragons.  Will you allow us to help?” I look at Declan for the confirmation.

“Yes, of course I still welcome your assistance.”

Tenebris looks at me.  “Ferox, I understand why you wanted to come here now.  You were right, they need us.”

“And we will see it done.”

“With or without Etiam and Lucis.”

I nod.


	22. Starting Not-So-Fresh

Chapter Twenty-Two:Starting Not-So-Fresh

 

“As much as I love a good drama, can we get back to eating?” Dorian asks.

“Sorry, Dorian.  I’m afraid I’ve shown my worst side again,” I say, a blush staining my cheeks.  “That story just really got to me.  I can’t imagine such atrocities.  Despicable.”

“I agree,” Cassandra states.  “I am glad your power has different source.  I did not like the idea of a blood mage in our midst.”

Tenebris coughs and looks as though he wants to say something more, but I catch his eye.   _ We’ve done enough damage. _  I reach out to hold his hand, and he takes it, squeezing it.   _ I know, brother.  These humans don’t understand.  But, one battle at a time. _  I shake my head at him, and he nods.

I inform Cassandra, and loudly enough that Blackwall and Leliana are sure to hear it too.  “Declan and Varric both witnessed my ability.  They can verify that I used no blood magic.”

I let go, and sit back down to eat my dinner.  Dorian leans over and whispers, “Quite the protective type, isn’t he?”

“My brother?  Sometimes,” I admit.  “But he has a temper worse than mine at times, too.”

Dorian seems to mull this over.

I take a sip of my wine and regret it immediately.  Sickeningly sweet, as before.  I turn to Dorian, “How do you stand to drink this stuff?”

“I don’t.  I only pretend to.”

“Oh, clever,” I tell him.  “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“What’s that?” Declan asks from the other side of me.

“Oh.  Sorry, Declan, but I’m not a fan of your choice of wines,” I admit.  “It’s far too sweet for me.”

“I don’t really drink wine, so I just went with something that sounded nice.  One of the nobles brought it,” he explains, grabbing my glass.  My gasp of surprise isn’t quick enough to stop him from taking a sip.

He immediately wrinkles up his nose in disgust.  “This really is awful stuff.  Why did no one say something before?  See, Ferox, this is why I like having you around.”

“Even if I have embarrassing outbursts at dinner?” I prod.

“Even then.  You made your point earlier.  There’s still a lot we don’t understand.  None of us can do this alone, and trusting in each other is the only way we will accomplish our goals.”

“You really are a great leader, Declan.  You won’t regret this,” I tell him.

He leans in closer.  “I want to hug you right now, but I won’t.  Your brother is already giving me an ugly look.”

I can’t help but laugh, which draws the attention of the rest of the table, and I’m back to having flushed cheeks.   _ I’m really starting to hate these dinner parties. _  I glance over at Varric to find him looking at Declan and I curiously...and my brother is looking at Varric.   _ Shit. _  Tenebris glances at me and frowns, then shakes his head.

I turn my attention back to my plate and focus on eating for the rest of the meal.  Afterwards, I seek out my brother for a private conversation.

“We need to go talk to Solas,” I inform him.

“Indeed, I want to see the look on his face when he sees both of us together.  I’ve been waiting for this,” he says, grinning.  I have to admit, I’m probably going to enjoy seeing him squirm a little as well.

“Oh, what was that about Warden Blackwall?” I question as we start walking toward Solas’s room to look for him.

“Only that he’s no more a Warden than I am,” he announces. 

“What?”

“There’s no taint in his system, and no trace of ancient blood, which I’m sure you would have noticed if you weren’t so  _ distracted _ ,” he comments, looking me in the eye. “There’s no way that man went through a Joining.” 

_ I need to ignore the implications of his statement about being “distracted”.   _ “Hm...strange.  Still, you know how I feel about Grey Wardens.  I’m a little relieved to hear he’s a fake.  We’ll keep an eye on him, but so far, he seems harmless.”

“Agreed.  Now let’s find that shifty elf.”

*             *             *

Tenebris and I check his quarters first, but Solas has not returned to his room in the keep.  We ask around, and end up finding him in the undercroft, of all places.  It’s getting late, and the smiths have all left for the day.  Candles in a variety of fixtures, along with a few well-placed lanterns, light the area with a warm glow.  Solas stands in front of a strange apparatus at the edge of room, near the opening that drops off to the vertical cliff below.

“Hiding from us, Trickster?” Tenebris taunts.

Solas turns, a small smile on his face.  “Not at all. I expected you would find me.  I thought it best that we have privacy for our conversation.  Greetings, Tenebris.”

“You asked for this talk, if you recall,” I remind him.

“I had little choice in the matter.  Your rash words would have exposed us both.”

“What are you really doing here, Fen-I mean, Solas?” I ask, correcting myself in effort to get his name down so I won’t make that mistake in front of others.

“When I learned of the Breach in the sky, I came to study it in hopes of closing it.  Whilst here, I have offered my services to the Inquisitor and have helped to keep the Anchor from spreading and killing him.”

“There’s more to this than that.  How do you know how to treat the Anchor?  What is it, anyway?” I ask, stepping closer to him.

“After observing the mark, I believe its origin to be connected with an artifact in Corypheus’s possession,” he explains.

“An  _ elven _ artifact, I presume,” Tenebris says.

“Just so,” he admits.  “My understanding of the workings of such artifacts allowed me to halt the effects of the Anchor, for now.”

I narrow my eyes at him, but he says no more.  “Fine, keep your secrets, Trickster.  I trust you will not interfere in our efforts to help the dragons?”

“Dragons were always more your area of expertise, not mine.  My interest here lies with the Anchor, and Corypheus.”

“And we won’t stop your efforts to heal the Breach then,” I add.  “Is that agreeable?”

“Most satisfactory.”

I walk out of the room, my footfalls a little harsher than I had originally intended.  I’m really not happy with this arrangement, especially given that he will be going on the same mission that I am.  Spending more time with the elf who trapped our precious ancients isn’t high up on my list of tasks to accomplish.  Granted, he’d trapped his own brethren, as well.

I’ll just ignore him.  For now.

*             *             *

Tenebris and I part after leaving the undercroft, but I still feel restless.  I know I’m leaving in the morning, but it will be with a dragon hunter, that trickster elf, and Sera.  Sera seems fun, but the other two choices are making me nervous.  I’d have felt more comfortable with Dorian or Declan, or even Hawke.

Before I realize where I’m going, my feet have taken me outside and I can see the light from the windows of the Herald’s Rest.  Maybe a drink  _ would _ help.  I head that direction.  If nothing else, I’m sure Bull will be there, and I can sit with him for a few minutes to take my mind off things.

It’s already starting to get dark, and the cold evening air is settling in.  It’s going to be another cold one.  At least it’s not a far walk to the tavern.  And, a drink will help me feel warmer.  I open the door, and step inside.  The warmth is indeed welcome, but the smell could use some help.   _ Did something die in here? _  I look around for the source of the smell, but all I can see is a mass of bodies.  The tavern is full tonight.

I head toward Bull’s section, as I’m fairly certain he can get me a seat if no one else can, but before I get there, I see a familiar face.

Hawke pushes off the wall and walks toward me.  I smile and wave, my voice having no chance of making it across the room to him with it as noisy as it is in here.  We meet in the middle, and he leans in to speak into my ear.

“Didn’t expect you to show up tonight,” he says.

“Me either,” I shout back, “and yet, here I am.”

“Fancy dinners not your thing?”

“This one went about as well as the last.”

Hawke laughs.

I look over to Bull’s section, and with Krem and a group that I assume are the infamous Chargers, they take up a large section.  Unfortunately, there are just so many people in here that I can’t get close to them.  Hawke catches my disappointed face, and points upwards, putting his hands out in question.  I shrug and nod.  We head up the stairs. The second story is a little sparser than the one downstairs, but there are still no seats to be found.

“What is going on?” I wonder aloud.  

“I think almost all the teams are in at the moment.  I’m sure by tomorrow this place will be empty again.”

We look around the far side and I see Sera in her room, sitting on the window seat and staring out of the picture window.  I’m a little jealous, seeing her space, but I wouldn’t trade the quiet of the garden for the noise of this place.  She sees us and waves us inside.

Once through the door, the noise from the lower room is immediately less.  It’s a relief.  I tell her, “Thanks, Sera, it’s so loud out there.”

“Oh yeah?” she asks, and I can tell she truly hasn’t paid much attention.

“What’s on your mind?” I ask.

“So we’re going on this dragon quest thing, right?  Only you’re different...you’re  _ Dragon Girl  _ now.”

“And that’s a problem?” I question.

“Well…it’s just,  _ magic _ , right?  Weird.  Friggin’ creeps me out.”

“You knew I was a mage the last time we met,” I clarify.

Hawke speaks up, “Yeah, and who better to have along when going up against dragons than Dragon Girl?”

“Who says we need to go up against them?  Nope, no need to poke the dragons a’tall.  I don’t know why they picked me for this in the first place.  Should leave it to the big swords, like Cassandra.”

“Seeker Cassandra chose you for it personally.  That means she must have faith in your abilities, Sera,” I point out.

“No, she has faith in  _ yours. _  They all do, don’t they?  But I haven’t seen it.”

“I have,” Hawke says.  “I’m certain Ferox knows what she’s doing.”

I smile at him again.  “I’m not sure what I did to deserve a friend like you, Garrett, but remind me to do it again.”

He throws an arm over my shoulder, and I shrug out of it, shaking my head.  “I take it all back!” 

And with that Sera, laughs, and we’re good again.

“So…” Hawke says, “Varric made his move then?”

“Wait, Varric what?” Sera sat up, suddenly very interested.  She looks at me.  “Oho!  You like the dad type, yeah?”  She waggles her brows suggestively.  “Little dwarf action do it for you?”

I roll my eyes.  “You  _ had _ to say it in front of Sera.  Now I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“So he did?” Garrett asked.  “The old dog.  I think I’m honestly a little jealous now.”

“Well, no, he didn’t exactly…it’s complicated.”

“You two and complicated.  It’s not complicated, Ferox.  He likes you, so go get him.”

“You know my situation, Garrett, whether you actually believed it or not.  I don’t want him deciding this rashly.”

Hawke puts a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me.  “Ferox... _ go get him _ .”

I smile a little.  “Maybe you’re right.”

Sera sits on the edge of her seat, leaning forward, eyes wide.  “Go on,” she says, leaning back once she realizes the show is over.

I clap my hand over my mouth, embarrassed to have said it, especially with Sera watching so raptly, but I don’t want to take it back.

I turn and walk out, to Sera’s hoots and Hawke’s knowing grin.

Once outside, I run back to the keep, giggling to myself.  Entering the main hall, I notice Varric isn’t here anymore.   _ He must be in his quarters, but I don’t know where that is. _  I don’t see anyone around that I know, so I decide to wander, and hope I either run into someone who might know, or I’m able to find it on my own.

I start near Hawke’s room, which I know to be somewhere upstairs on the ramparts.  I check a few rooms, but they’re all empty, some with holes in the wall, even.   _ Skyhold needs quite a few more repairs _ .  I end up standing by the edge of the upper walkway.  There is no one in this section at the moment, and I stop to enjoy a moment of quiet.  For a cold night, it’s beautiful.  The stars are out, and from the top of the wall, you can see an endless sea of them above.  I raise my arms out to the sides, embracing the chill, and inhale a deep breath.  It hurts a little due to the temperature, but it still feels good.

“Enjoying yourself, I see,” a familiar voice says.  

My breath exhales in a cloud of water vapor and embarrassed laughter.

“Hello, Commander,” I say, smiling at him.  “Well, It  _ is _ a nice view from up here.”

“I’ve always thought so,” he adds, coming to look out over the wall with me, but then he notices my eyes are upward, and tilts his own head to gaze at the sky.  “I’ve heard sailors can navigate by the stars.  Wouldn’t that be a skill to have?” he muses.

“I’m sure that’s quite useful out at sea, where all you can see is water in every direction.  But forget sea travel, I want to  _ fly _ ,” I comment, closing my eyes and imagining the sensation.

He chuckles.  “If your previous demonstrations are any indication, I’m betting one day you will.”

“You know, Commander-”

“You can call me Cullen.  I’d feel strange insisting you call me by my title when you’re already on such familiar terms with everyone else.”

“Cullen, then.  You’re not half as harsh as I thought you were.”

“Perhaps neither of us had the best first impression.  I’m glad you’re with the Inquisition.  I’d hate to think about what would happen if you were our opponent,” he admits, pausing for a moment to look back at me.  “So what really brought you up here?” he asks.

“Same thing that always happens to me at Skyhold, I got lost,” I explain sheepishly.

“Maker’s Breath, I know that feeling.  When I first got here, I got lost three times trying to find my own office.”  He grins, softening his handsome features considerably.   _ Huh, who would have thought this tough guy had such a charming smile? _

“Oh, Cullen, that reminds me, do you have any idea where Varric’s quarters are?  That’s who I was looking for.  I need to ask him something.”

“Of course,” he replies, and proceeds to give me very detailed instructions with landmarks even, on how to find him.

“Thanks, Cullen, I’ll see you later.”  
“Good luck in the Exalted Plains.  We’re hoping for good things.”

“I won’t let you down,” I promise with a wave.

He leans against the wall and doesn’t move until I leave.

I have no problem following Cullen’s directions.   _ I should have him make me a map or something. _  I’d be willing to bet he’s got one somewhere that he put together early on.  The keep’s twists and turns aren’t as intimidating this time around and I finally find myself in a hallway I’ve never seen before.  It’s long, with a couple of branches.  Varric’s room is off one of the side branches, and the last door on the left.   _ Thanks again, Cullen. _

I smile, but then I realize I’m about to go into Varric’s room, and I’m suddenly nervous.  This had sounded like a good idea when I was with Sera and Garrett, but now that I’m here, do I have the courage to do this?  The door is shut, but looking at it, it doesn’t look like it’s latched all the way.  Hopefully that means he’s still up.  I knock quietly, and a few seconds pass before the door opens.  Varric stares at me with a confused expression.

“Firefly?  What are you doing here?” he asks, eyes darting to the side.

“Oh, I-” I start, but I’m cut off by a voice inside.

“Hurry up,” a female voice answers from inside.  

My eyes widen in surprise and confusion.  I catch a glimpse under Varric’s arm of a female dwarf in his room.   _ Bianca, I presume.  At least I caught them while they’re still clothed. _  “Sorry for interrupting,” I say abruptly, and turn and walk away quickly, tears already stinging my eyes.

“Ferox, wait!” Varric calls, which only spurs me to run.  I hear him curse behind me, but he doesn’t follow.   _ Damn him. _


	23. Cold Shoulder

Chapter Twenty-three: Cold Shoulder

 

I run down the stairs from Varric’s hallway and out a side door out into the garden.  The cold blast of air chills my tears.  In the few minutes it took me to get there, I can already see clouds forming in the night sky in response to the pain I’m feeling inside, and I know it will soon be snowing.   _ So much for summer nights and fireflies, _ I think, and the tears form anew.  Thankfully, there’s no one else in the garden to witness them.   _ I know one of these doors leads to...yes, here it is. _  The candles in the shrine flicker in the gust of air that accompanies me into a small room, sending waves of rippling light over the walls and ceiling.  I enter and shut the door behind me. 

“I was a fool for believing any of this was possible,” I comment out loud, wrapping my arms around myself.  “Mortals and immortals...Lucis, you were right.  Trusting them only leads to heartbreak.”

I look up at the statue of my brother’s dead lover.   _ They made her prettier than she was, _ I muse.  “I wonder what you would have said about this,” I say quietly to the statue of Andraste.  “You loved my brother enough to risk everything for him.”   _ I’ve spent too much time here, now I’m starting to believe a dead woman has answers for my life. _  I sigh.  There is something comforting about the idea that someone out there is taking care of things, but I have no such comfort.  The only things I can trust in are my magic and my family.

I feel my heart settle, the walls snapping firmly into place this time.   _ Opening myself up like that was a mistake.  One I will not be repeating. _ _ No more distractions. _  I’m glad for the first time that I’ll be going on this mission without him.  The less I have to see of him while I’m here, the better.  Coldness settles in, filling my chest.   _ Yes, that’s better, take the cold into yourself.  You don’t need those emotions right now.  Send them away.  Embrace it, the bitter cold will be your element, your shield.  Do what you came here to do. _  Resolving my feelings, I head back to my room to sleep and prepare for tomorrow’s departure.

*             *             *

The quick-lived snow squall last night left a thin dusting, but thankfully not enough to hinder travel.  I don my armor quickly, and pack a few changes of warmer weather clothing as it will not be nearly as cold in the Exalted Plains.  I dress today in shades of gray and black, with a corseted vest over a long-sleeved top, leather wrist cuffs, and the same style of flowing pants and boots that I prefer.  I pull my hair high up off my head, and braid it in one long braid.  I wrap it around in my head in a tight fashion, catching the curling tendrils that always want to escape and pinning them up with the circling braid.  

It’s a more severe style than I usually wear, but it feels right today.  The cold numbness remains in my chest, and I’m grateful for the lack of emotions.  I walk with my back straight, my chin held high.   _ I am a goddess of destruction, and I will act like it. _  I find my way easily to the main hall now, and join the others for breakfast. 

Tenebris is the first to see me, and notices the change in me right away.  Walking closer, he nods understanding.  “Welcome back, Destroyer,” he whispers in my ear.  He smiles.   _ My family understands me, and loves me. _  I end up sitting in between Tenebris and Garrett this morning.

Of course, Garrett is brimming with curiosity.  “So, how did it go last night?”

I turn my even stare on him and answer, “Drop it, Hawke.”

He gapes at my icy demeanor, then he frowns.  “I’m sorry, Ferox.  I never would have encouraged you if I thought it would go badly.  I don’t know what he did, but for what it’s worth, Varric’s clearly being an idiot.  I don’t get it.”

“Are you quite finished?” I question.  Another frown from Hawke.

Tenebris leans over, and whispers to Garrett, “It’s no good, this is her dark side.  You’d be better off trying to talk to a druffalo.  Just let it go for now.”

I focus on eating, and it’s not long before I finish.  Varric has been suspiciously missing from the table this morning.   _ Probably too afraid to deal with me, the coward.  Just like he hid the truth about her. _

I excuse myself from the table and head back to my room to retrieve my things for the journey.  I’m mildly surprised to find Varric waiting for me at my door.

“What do you want?” I ask plainly.

“Firefly, let me explain what you saw last night, it wasn’t what you th-”

“I have no interest in your excuses, or your nicknames.  Now if you have nothing else to say, please move.  I have a mission to get to and I don’t want to keep Cassandra waiting.”

“Please?” he says, his voice wavering.  “Hear me out.  If you still want me to leave after, I’ll go.”

I sigh. “Out with it, then.”

“That was Bianca, yes, but it wasn’t a personal visit.  She was just there to bring me information.  Her family hates me, tries to kill me every time we see each other, even though we haven’t been together in years.  She snuck out, and I was trying to keep anyone else from finding out she was here, so word didn’t get back to her family.  That’s why she was there, and why I couldn’t leave.”

“You don’t owe me any explanations, Varric.  You and I have no promises to each other, you are free to do as you please.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get into my room.”

He exhales sharply, but steps out of the way, opening and holding the door for me.  I don’t look at him at all, but go into my room to get my belongings.   _ Yes, emotionless is easier _ .  I hear Varric shut the door after I’m inside, but when I turn to look, he’s still there, only inside my room now.  I give him a frustrated look.

“You said you wanted in, not that I had to leave,” he points out with a hopeful half-smile.

I shake my head.  “I’m not in the mood to play word games with you.”

“And yet, you’re still not saying ‘get out, Varric’.  In the time that I’ve known you, I’ve found the things you  _ don’t _ say are usually far more interesting.  Anyway, you told me I’m free to do as I please.  Being here pleases me.   _ You _ please me.”

My heart gives a flutter at his tone, but I quickly dampen it.  I perch on the edge of my bed, my bags sitting next to me.  I glance up at him, my eyes cold and dismissive.

“I’ll be blunt with you, I don’t trust you anymore, Varric.  You’re a coward and a liar, and any interest I once had in pleasing you is gone.”

“You’re right, I’ve been guilty of both,” he admits, kneeling in front of me, tilting his head to look up to meet my gaze.  “You told me back in Crestwood that neither of us are good at being open with people, and you were right.  I hide behind my jokes and stories, none of which are about me.  But I’m serious about this, about you.  You’re in my head, Ferox.  Even right now, the urge to touch you is driving me crazy.  With all your weird talk about gods, you confused the shit out of me, but I still want you...I miss you.  Will you give me another chance?”

“You should have said that yesterday or the day before when it still mattered,” I told him.

“You’re still not kicking me out, Firefly,” he teases.

I sigh again.  “I’ll think about what you said.  Now get out.”

He nods and straightens back up.  “One last thing before I go, though,” he says, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips.  “Something else to think about,” he comments, pressing the soft skin of his lips against my knuckles.  I remember him saying the same words outside Caer Bronach right before he kissed me the first time.   _ Not fair. _

“Out,” I insist, pulling my hand away.

He heads to the door, turning back one more time to comment, “Like the new look, by the way.”  

He shuts the door behind him, leaving me still a little confused.   _ He wasn’t with Bianca? _  My numbness threatens to crack, and I embrace the cold again.   _ No feelings.  Leave them for later.  The only thing that matters now is the mission. _  My mask of stoicism back, I pick up my bags and head down to the courtyard to meet Cassandra and the others for the trip to the Exalted Plains.

Thanks to a distracting dwarf, I’m now the last one down.  I see him there with Declan’s team.

“Ferox!” Declan greets me smiling.  I don’t return it.   _ Emotions are useless.   _ His face falls, and confusions takes its place.

“Don’t take it personal, Declan.  According to Tenebris she gets in these moods,” Hawke explains.  “He calls it her ‘dark side’, but he says it’s usually short-lived.”   _ Since when were Hawke and my brother so chummy?  They had to have talked about me again after I left. _

“Great, another moody mage,” Sera complains.  “Why do I have to go again?”

“I have witnessed this side of her before, as well,” Solas states.  “You have no reason for concern, Sera.  She is quite efficient when she is like this.  And Hawke is right, she usually pulls out of it quickly.”

“If you’re all finished talking about me now, should we not be on our way?” I ask impatiently.

“Quite so,” declares Cassandra.  “We will be traveling with the Inquisitor’s group until we are out of the mountains, where we will separate.”

I walk to Darkforge and look him in the eye.  He tosses his head, eager to be moving, and I feel the same.  I make sure my belongings are secure before mounting up.  

The path this way out of Skyhold is more traveled, and the lack of substantial snowfall lately means that they are quite passable.  We’re able to ride instead of having to guide the horses.  I keep my head up, the reins taught, and clear my mind of all thoughts.  I engage in conversation with no one, only answering when asked a direct question.  Varric thankfully doesn’t approach me, but I catch him watching me sometimes.  The days pass quickly with me keeping to myself, remaining calm, emotionless, and it isn’t long before it’s time to part ways.

“Good luck,” Declan calls.

I nod to him.  “Be well.”

“We will most likely return before you do,” Cassandra states.  “Do you have any orders for us until then?”

“Not yet, but my advisors may.  Listen to them in my absence,” he instructs.

I immediately feel a little better when he is out of sight, my emotional walls already feeling a bit weaker, less substantial, and I try not to examine the thought too closely.  But I can’t help but welcome the growing excitement inside me at the prospect of seeing a Gamordan Stormrider.  Time for Dragon Girl to go to work.


	24. Dancing with Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox confronts the Gamordan Stormrider in the Exalted Plains.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Dancing with Dragons

 

The Exalted Plains are growing on me.  The rolling hills could be a bit more even, and with fewer rocks and boulders to trip the horses, but there is no doubt that it’s beautiful.  We follow the road through the burning ruins of what were obviously nice houses once.  I sigh thinking about it; there has been so much death here. 

“The Veil feels strange here, Solas,” I prompt, glancing over at him.

“This place has seen many battles, some of them recent.  Spirits push against the Veil in places where it is weak.  I would not be surprised if we see demons in this area.”

“I haven’t seen any rifts, at least,” I comment.

“Thank the Maker for small favors,” Cassandra observes.

Sera snorts, “ _ The Veil feels strange here _ ,” she says, in a mocking airy tone and I can’t tell if she’s making fun of me or Solas.  I laugh anyway.  Sera’s antics are cute.  It’s nice to have someone around who isn’t so serious all the time.   _ Wait, did I just have the thought that I didn’t want to be serious?  Shit, my feelings are back. _

“Seems like you’re back to yourself, Ferox.  ‘Bout friggin’ time.  Stuffy Ferox is bor-ing,” Sera says, finishing the end of her statement in a sing-song voice.

“Was I really that bad?” I ask, cringing.

“Bit mean, yeah?” she clarifies.  

“Sorry.”   _ How many days has it been this time?  Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.  No, it was better than burying Skyhold in snow from my sorrow.   _ I test my emotional state and allow myself to remember.  The walls of cold inside are gone now, but I feel surprisingly calm.  Not the numbness from before, but not overwhelmed with anger and hurt either.   _ Had Varric’s words gotten through to me then, even in my emotionless state? _  Considering it, I realize I  _ do  _ believe what he said.  And if he was telling the truth about Bianca...that means he wants to be with me.   _ He said he was “serious” about me _ .  I can’t keep the grin off my face.   _ Varric is serious about me.  He missed me.   _ Now having admitted I believe him, I can’t wait to see him again.   _ Please be safe, Varric.  Oh, and Hawke, Declan, and Alistair too. _

“So what was all that, anyway?” Sera asks.

“I-when something happens that I have a hard time dealing with, I sort of...seal my emotions away for a while.  Blow them out like a candle.”

She crinkled her nose.

“Weird mage shite, I know,” I respond, anticipating her response.  “But it wears off, and I’m back to being just me again.”

She thinks for a moment.  “Ohhhh, I get it.  The dwarf was a twat and fucked it up.”

I blink at her choice of words.  “You could say that.  Of course, it doesn’t help that I overreacted without giving him a chance to explain.  I guess I was a bit of a twat to him, too.”  I sigh.

“Hawke is right.  The two of you make things way too complicated.”

Cassandra interrupts.  “What dwarf?  Am I correct in assuming this has something to do with Varric?”

I blush, and Sera laughs.  “Yeah, Ferox has the hots for ‘im.”

Solas gives me a strange look.

“Truly?” Cassandra blurts out, incredulous.  “ _ Varric?” _

I must be completely red in the face by now.  “Do we  _ have _ to talk about this right now?” I choke out.

Sera continues, “He likes her back too, yeah, but he keeps putting his foot right in it.  Seems to me he’d do better to put his-”

“Sera!” I shout, cutting her off.  “It’s hard enough without you picking on us.”

“Oh, I’ll bet it is.   _ Hard enough _ ,” she giggles.

“Ugh,” I groan, holding my head.

“Demons,” Solas says.   


“What?” I question.

“There are demons ahead.”

_ Oh thank goodness.  I don’t know how much more talking about things I can handle. _

I immediately dismount and grab my staff.  I look to Cassandra, and see her doing the same, her sword and shield at the ready.  I realize I’ve never fought with any of them before.  I knew Solas’s abilities a little from before, but we haven’t seen each other in hundreds of years, things are bound to be different.  Sera’s bow is impressive-looking, and she holds it like she definitely knows what she’s doing.   _ I need to trust them _ .  My heart gives a throb at the word, pain returning.   _ It will be alright.   _ I cast a barrier on the four of us as we run forward to meet the demons.

The first one I see is a rage demon.  I’m glad.  Cold is my element right now, and I have plenty to spare for this creature of fire.  I feel the icy chill even in the warmer air in the Exalted Plains, and I store it inside me, closing my eyes.   _ Control. _  I murmur a few words, unconsciously slipping into Draconic.  “I call upon the ice and snow, to shield my friends and strike my foe…”  Opening my eyes, I unleash the spell, specifying each of my three allies not to be harmed.  A cloud of white bursts from my hands and staff, engulfing the area in a blizzard.  Soon, the ground is covered in a white blanket of snow.  Each of the demons is frozen in place, coated in a layer of frost, giving the appearance of a collection of bizarre statues.

Sera and Cassandra gape at me.

“They’re frozen, shatter them already!” I order.

They snap out of it and begin attacking.  I run up on my rage demon and smash my staff into it’s face.  It’s not enough to shatter it completely, but it’s really satisfying, anyway.  I hit it again with Winter’s Grasp, and it collapses into a thousand tiny pieces.

Looking around, I see that the others are facing a similar fate.  Cassandra is a wonder with her shield, bashing it into demon after demon, following up with a swing of her sword, decimating them.  Sera’s arrows remove chunks of chilled flesh as they pass through her enemies.  

I look to Solas.  His expression is sad.  I move to him, allowing the other two to finish the rest.  “They are at peace again, Solas.  They will go back and be reborn in the Fade, their purpose renewed.”

He nods.  I remember when we were young, and we’d spent time with the Elven pantheon.  Well, with Fen’Harel and Mythal, at least.  The others of the Evanuris were far less friendly.  But Solas and I were once at least acquaintances, if not friends.  He’d probably been closer with my brother Etiam, with their mutual love of spirits.   _It’s been awhile since I thought of my middle brother._

“Etiam would have approved,” I mention, remembering him.

“I believe you are right,” Solas says.  “I trust he is well?”

“Yes.”

Cassandra and Sera turn to us.  

“What kind of magic was that?” Cassandra asks.  “When you cast, I expected to be hit by it, but it passed right by me.”

“Selective casting,” I answer shortly.  “I excluded you from the spell.”

“I cannot find words to describe it, but your magic...it  _ feels _ different when you cast,” she says, narrowing her eyes at me.  “You’re not like most mages.  There is something different about you.”

_ Ah yes, Cassandra is a Seeker of Truth. _  I’m not sure what her particular powers are, as they vary from Seeker to Seeker, but clearly she felt the difference between me and other mages.

“Of course I’m different; I’m Dragon Girl,” I grin and laugh, attempting to play it off.  “Let’s keep going.”

Cassandra just shakes her head.  Sera still hasn’t said anything, but keeps looking at me with a wary expression.

“Sera, I’m not going to hurt you.  I’m good at magic, that’s all,” I tell her.

It’s strange for Sera to be so quiet.  I almost feel a little guilty, but letting go like that also felt  _ really _ good.  I haven’t done that lately.  Magic is life, and tapping into it again always reminds me why I love it.  

Thankfully, our horses fared fine during the fight, and we’re able to be back on the road within minutes.  The Inquisition camp isn’t hard to find.  We reach the place in the road and the landmark is easy to see - a depression in the earth leading to a cave or tunnel.  In front of the cave is a large statue of a wolf.  I dismount as the cave entrance is too low to allow us to ride through while mounted.  We’re going to have to lead the horses inside.  

I glance over at Solas, and step a little closer to him, turning back to gesture toward the lupine carving.

“Nice statue, huh?  Good likeness you think?” I tease him.

He says nothing, but l think I see his lip twitch out of the corner of my eye.  I chuckle quietly before leading Darkforge through the opening and into the space beyond into Ghilan'nain's Grove.  It’s even greener here, if that is possible.  Maybe just a deeper shade of green.  The Inquisition camp is visible when we step out of the opening.  We don’t bother riding, and just walk the short distance.

“Seeker,” one of the two agents says.  “We were told to expect you.”

“Tell me about the situation,” she instructs.

He answers, “It’s a hellish place - a marsh - and you can’t get anywhere without wading through at least knee-high muck.  There are wyverns all over in there, too.  And then the big one; she’s tucked up in the northeast side, but you’ll have to fight your way past the wyverns to get there.”

“So what advice does Dragon Girl have to offer on wyverns?” Cassandra asks me.

“They’re related, but not intelligent enough for what I do with the high dragons.  They don’t grow magic the way that dragons do, and they’re venomous.  The loss of such beasts is acceptable if necessary,” I explain.

“We do have antivenom,” the agent responds, handing us each a vial of the concoction.

“Good to know,” Cassandra responds.

“We’re going in there, then?  The swampy place?” Sera asks. 

“Definitely,” I answer, already walking away, not waiting for Cassandra.

We enter another cavern on the far side of the clearing.  Evidence that people had occupied this area long ago is strewn about: clay pots, and a few bones.  No wyverns yet.  We continue on through another natural clearing, and another short tunnel before it opens into the Crow Fens.  The smell of damp and rot is heavy here, and the humidity settles on my skin.  Perfect spot for a Gamordan Stormrider.   _ Where are you, beauty? _

We wind our way around various boulders, heading to the northeast as instructed.  We pause, waiting for the area to be clear before proceeding.  We’re able to avoid the majority of the wyverns in this way, but between my and Solas’s spells, Sera’s wicked bow, and Cassandra’s nearly perfect defense with her shield, the couple we encounter give us little trouble.

Rounding another boulder “island”, I see the dragon, partially obscured through the mists rising from the various steaming pools around us.   _ Look at the markings on those wings!  She’s more magnificent than I imagined. _  I take a moment to watch her.  

She looks similar in coloring to the Northern Hunter, in tones of dark red and brown with white markings on her tail and wings.  Large horns curve around her face, and the purple light of electricity sparks beneath her skin.  Her wingspan is truly massive, probably the largest of any of her type I have seen.  She could have easily left this area, but has chosen to stay.  This means she’s likely an older high dragon, nearing the Elder phase of her life cycle.  Not many live this long.  She might have chosen to remain because this area has been protected, and only recently was opened back up for humans to enter again.

“Well, Ferox, get your arse in there,” Sera commands, pushing me from behind.

“Hey, give me a minute, I’m just appreciating how pretty she is.  Gamordan Stormriders are my favorite.  That’s definitely a high dragon, maybe even close to Elder.  She’s been here a while.  But look,” I say, pulling Sera in close and pointing out the dragon’s behavior.  “See how her tail flicks?  And the way she keeps her wings out and her head is swiveling back and forth?  That’s not hunting behavior, or play.  She’s angry about something, and on the defense.”

“What’s it take to piss off a dragon?” Sera wants to know.

“Not sure, but I’m not going to be able to use my usual means to get over there.  She’ll try to zap me and my barrier won’t hold up that long under that kind of onslaught.”

“So what, then?”

I think for a moment, and the first thing that comes to mind is Varric visiting my room before I left.  I’d been numb in the coldness of my dark side, supposedly unfeeling.  But he’d managed to surprise me a few times, getting a reaction out of me.

“I have to distract her,” I say.  “Her guard is up, but if she’s thinking about something else, I might get her to talk to me.”

Sera arched an eyebrow.  “Wow...that actually sorta makes sense.”

“Just watch.”  To the rest of them, I say, “Stay here.  I may have to deflect attacks from her, and I don’t want anyone ending up in the crossfire by mistake.”

“The Inquisitor told me that you could do this, I will trust in his judgment,” Cassandra states.   _ In other words, you still don’t think I can, but you won’t stop me.  Good enough. _

“I assume you have a plan for handling the beast?” Solas asks.

“Yeah, I’m going to ask a pretty girl to dance with me,”  I answer with a wink and run into the clearing, keeping to the edges of the pools.  I don’t bother with the lightning curtain yet, as I need to distract her first.  

There is no chance of  _ not  _ being spotted by the dragon; she’s been on watch for a threat since before we arrived.  She immediately screeches, an obvious ploy to try to threaten me and scare me away, but I don’t scare that easily.

I leap from ridge to ridge, making my steps lighter, acrobatic.  She rears up and readies a breath attack.  Expecting the oncoming electrical blast, I create a barrier.  A smaller, dense one, about the size of Cassandra’s shield.  The attack comes, and I angle my barrier shield and deflect it away from me.  It crashes into the rocks, and causes chains of lightning to arc across the surface of the nearby water.   _ I’m going to have to be careful.  All this water means her reach is farther than I thought _ .

“That was rude, I just came to visit,” I announce to her in Draconic.  She doesn’t seem to acknowledge my words.

I find a spot of higher ground atop a boulder and pause there, just in time for her to do what I had feared, using her breath attack to send bolts of electricity over the surface of the water.  Had I been standing down there still, I would have been fried for sure.  I can deflect her oncoming attack, but not the lingering effects of it happening all around me.

Holding my staff in front of me, I begin to twirl it.  I spin, dipping low to the ground then stretching upward, reaching for the sky.  I step outward on one foot, continuing my dance.  I anticipate another blast, and deflect it again before returning to my graceful movements.  I sway from one side to another, hearing the beat in my head.  I don’t dare hum or sing, as my singing voice is terrible, but the rhythm speaks for itself.

Time for her to attack again, but she doesn’t.  She’s watching me now, curious.   _ Good, watch me. _  I step from one side then spin to the other.  She makes a similar movement with her wings.   _ Is she just being heedful of me, or is she interested in the dance? _  I can’t tell yet, so I continue, and I brave getting a little closer, back down to the water.  I slam my staff down into the surface, a small spray of sparks erupting from it. I raise my hands, and use them in my movements as well.

It’s the moment of truth; will she try to kill me again, or will she engage with me?  She dips her head, swaying it back and forth, giving me all the answer I need.   _ Time for the curtain.   _ I pick my staff up again, and, spinning, create the electrical circle underneath me.  I quickly grab the ribbon from the sky, and stretch the curtain closed around me, as before.  

“Hello, you’re a wonderful dancer,” I greet her in Draconic.  “Do you understand now that I mean you no harm?”

“You are human.  Humans destroy everything.”

“Sometimes, but they also build, and imagine wonderful things, like dancing.”

“You do seem a little different.”

“Yes, I am more like you.  I too have the storm inside.  My magic is the same as yours.” I look her in the eye, the move practiced countless times now.  She accepts my gaze, and I know I’ve got her.

“Why did you come here, if not to take this place from me?” she asks.

“I was asked to come and speak with you, to see if we can find a way to peacefully coexist.  I could tell when I first saw you that you were angry, fearful about something.  Is it the humans?”

“No...yes.  I…”

I wait patiently.  “Take your time.”

“The wyverns killed my drake,” she tells me.  “I only had one, but we were about to nest here when the wyverns attacked.”

“They killed your drake and ruined your nest?  Have you laid your eggs yet?”

“No, but it will be any day now.  There are so many of those things here, and they slink and hide in the water.  And then the humans showed up, crowding their way into this space.”

“I think I understand.  The wyverns made this place unsafe, and then the humans showed up, and you saw them as a threat.”

“Yes.”

“What if we help?  We could kill the wyverns for you, make it safer for you to nest.  Would you leave the humans alone if we assist you?”

“Provided they do not attack first, I would agree to that, yes.”

“I will take this to my team, but I feel certain they will understand.  What should I call you?”

Sha makes a sound, but I shake my head, not comprehending.  “I do not know the word for it in the human tongue,” she states.  “It is a word that means when one sings for another, as to their mate.”

“Ballad?” I ask in the common tongue.

“No, that’s not it.”

“Serenade?” 

“I believe that is the one, yes.”

I walk back to the others.  I smile at them.

Sera grins.  “You...you got a  _ dragon _ to  _ dance!”  _ she laughed.  “Never in a million years did I think I’d see a dancing friggin’ dragon.”

“Not only that, I have an offer from her,” I report with a grin.

“What did she say?” Cassandra asks.

“The reason she was so agitated is because of the wyverns.  She’s pregnant and about to lay her eggs, but the wyverns killed her only mate and ruined her nesting area.  If we agree to kill the wyverns and leave this part of the Fens to her, she won’t bother the humans.”

“Kill the wyverns, and the dragon is peaceful, sounds simple enough,” Cassandra admits begrudgingly.

“It buys us time, at least.  There will be dragonlings all over the place soon, and more drakes will likely seek her out in hopes of mating, but those are problems for another day.”

“Tell her we accept.  Let’s get to work,” Cassandra states.


	25. Wyvern Hunt

Chapter Twenty-Five: Wyvern Hunt

 

After conveying the message that we will help to the Gamordan Stormrider, we prepare for battle.   _ There are a lot of those things out there; this is going to be a really long day. _  Thankfully, between Solas and I, we’re able to keep barrier spells going without too much mana cost, limiting the potential damage.

The first few go easily enough.  One of my ice spells, followed by Sera’s arrows to the face of the creature turns out to be as effective on the wyverns as it had been on the demons earlier.  I love seeing them twitch when hit with lightning, though.  That’s probably my favorite.

Cassandra is an expert swordswoman - watching her use her shield, it’s nearly flawless.  I wonder if it’s just her training as a Seeker, or if these are skills she picked up with the Inquisition.  I decided it’s probably a combination of both, but either way, it’s quite the show.

After a few fights, fatigue starts to settle in.  We take a few short rests to help allow our stamina and mana to replenish, but after a while, nothing but a meal and a good night’s sleep will cure this level of exhaustion.  

We’ve nearly completed our sweep, however, and decide just to push through to the end.  That’s when we come across it: a white wyvern.

“What is that thing?” I ask.

“Aren’t you Dragon Girl?  You should know, right?” Sera questions, nervousness causing her voice to waver.

“I mean, it  _ looks _ like the other wyverns, but I’m guessing this won’t be as simple.”

“Better to assume that you are right.  Be ready,” Cassandra orders.

I wonder how Solas is holding up.  I’m sure his mana stores are probably as deep as mine, but even I’m feeling the strain of the day.  I’m glad no regular mages were along for this, they would have had to drink lyrium potions left and right.   _ Come to think of it, that’s probably why my magic feels different to Cassandra - I don’t use lyrium.  But does that mean Solas drinks the stuff just to hide his identity?  I’ll have to ask him when we have an opportunity. _

I cast another barrier spell, surrounding the four of us with the familiar blue light, and we stalk toward the white wyvern.  Its movements are a little different than the others.  It’s more alert, for one, noticing us very quickly.  It also stands perfectly still, as though speculating about us the same way we are observing it.  I wonder what information it is learning about us.

I launch bolts of electricity, enjoying the sick pleasure when they strike and the beast squeals.   _ That’s for destroying a dragon nest _ .  I step back, slinging simple spells from my staff in order to conserve mana, and again watch as the group works as a team.

Solas surprises me with his teamwork, supporting the others.  His offensive magic seems to be mostly fire-based, which is slightly less effective against such creatures, but still seems to have an impact, and keep the barrier going is crucial.

I can tell we’re wearing it down, but this fight is dragging on long enough that we’re feeling it too.  It’s becoming a contest of endurance.  It’s Cassandra who makes the first slip.  Literally, the sludge under her foot doesn’t support her weight, and she falls backwards, landing on her backside.  

The wyvern, clever bitch that she is, rears back to launch a venom spray attack.  We’ve been able to dodge out of the way of these so far, but with Cassandra prone, she’ll never make it.  Sprinting over, I form the elemental shield as I had done with the dragon, but this time out of fire.  I slide to a stop between her and the wyvern, throwing my shield up behind me, as she guards herself with her own, lining up next to mine.  

It’s not enough, the spray splashing up over my shield, and I feel the burn of the acidic venom on my skin, and see Cassandra has been hit too, her plate metal armor hissing and smoke rising.  A number of arrows and spells fly over our heads, giving the wyvern pause.  Sera, abandoning her bow now in favor of two sharp-looking daggers, darts in and stabs one of the sharp blades right into the eye socket of the creature.  It falls, twitching, but doesn’t attempt to get back up again.  Sera uses her second dagger to finish the job before retrieving the first.

Cassandra looks up at me, startled.  “You...why did you do that?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” I admit, wincing.  “Maybe-ow, because I’m not used to trusting people.”

Cassandra actually laughs.  “I suppose I can relate to that.  But, you’re injured.  We need to get that seen to.”

We both stand, and my back feels like it’s on fire.   _ I should have used Rock Armor.   _ I turn around for the others to see it.  “Is it bad?” I ask.

Even Solas hisses.  It must be really bad then.  I already feel my limbs getting heavy, and reach for my antivenom.  But, between the venom’s effects slowing me down, as well as my own exhaustion, and my hand doesn’t make it to the vial before I collapse.  I fall first to my knees, then into an ungraceful heap, face down in the muck of the marsh.

“Ferox!” Sera calls out, running over to my side.  “No dying, you!”

“Antivenom,” I groan, but can’t reach for it.  Sera nods, and digs out her own vial, placing it to my lips.  I manage to swallow.  By this time, Solas has reached me.  

“I will see to her,” he insists.  I want to protest, not trusting the trickster god, but I find words aren’t forming as well any more either.   _ This venom is quick-acting stuff _ .  I feel the warmth of the antivenom in my stomach and hope it works in time.  

Solas examines my wounds.  I remember him mentioning tending to the Inquisitor upon receiving his mark, but this is different.  My ailment is not caused of some elven artifact.   _ Did Solas always have healing skills? _  I can’t remember.   _ I don’t have the ability to move my limbs at the moment, so I suppose it’s irrelevant.  _

I feel, rather than see his magic flowing over me.  It does seem to be helping.   _ I’d rather not owe the Dread Wolf anything, but he chose to act on his own. _

The antivenom must have gotten into my system, as my mobility starts to return.  “Ugh, that was nasty stuff,” I grumble.

“I take it she will live,” Cassandra clarifies.

“Yes,” Solas confirms.  “She appears to be healing.  Ferox,” he states directing his attention to me.  “You should drink a healing potion just to be safe.  And a lyrium potion would replenish some of your mana.”

I frown at him, but sitting up, I quaff the health potion and do feel a sense of relief.  He sits, watching me, as though waiting for something.

“I don’t have any lyrium potions,” I tell him.  “But I’m fine.  We’ve cleared the area, I won’t be needing to cast again for a while.”

“Still, there is no harm in careful preparation,” he counters, offering me the blue bottle.   _ I stare at it.  I don’t need this, but is he encouraging me to take it anyway?  Why? _  I sniff the potion, and, still frowning at him, down the contents.  I feel it slide thickly down my throat.  At first, I’m disgusted by it, but after a moment, I feel it... _ magic _ .  It instantly makes me feel giddy and it’s all I can do to suppress a giggle.   _ I never knew lyrium potions felt like this.   _ I feel refreshed, like I had when I had unleashed my selective Blizzard spell, or when Fiona had asked me to cast Storm of the Century.  And...in a way, the way I had when Varric kissed me.

I avoid eye contact, but stand back up again, grabbing my staff in the process.  “Thank you, Solas,” I say, unable to keep the grin off my face from the lyrium. I shout over my shoulder, “I’ll go tell Serenade that we’re finished.”

“Her name is Serenade?” Cassandra asks, looking back toward the area with the steaming pools that the dragon had chosen as her nest.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” I joke, and head back to the northeast area of the swamp.  

She is standing there as before, but her wings are down at her sides now, and her tail has stopped twitching.  

“You got them all?” Serenade asks hopefully.

“Yes,” I state.  “All that we could find.  Our part of the bargain is complete.”  

The dragon bows her head.  “And I shall keep to mine.  I feel ready now.  Thank you.”

I return to the others, and we trudge back through the marsh waters to the entrance of the Fens.  As much as I don’t want to admit it, Solas had been right to make me take the potion.  My spirits were lifted immensely, even if I really didn’t need mana at the moment.

We pass through the cavern systems, and emerge back near the camp.  The sun is setting on the horizon.  I’m starving, but sleep won’t be put off long enough for me to eat anything.  Glancing at our numbers vs the tent, I know I’ll be sharing again with at least one other person, but I don’t even care who at this point.  

I end up rooming with Sera, and, crawling inside the tent, I collapse on my bedroll, asleep in probably a minute or less.  I sleep deeply, unaware of anything until morning.

*             *             *

It’s well past dawn by the time I get up.  Sera is no longer in the tent, and I hear voices outside, indicating most of the group is already awake.  There are definitely downsides to being such a deep sleeper.  I yawn and stretch, well, as good as one can stretch in a low tent.  I reluctantly leave the warm bedroll and straighten my clothing.

The day is clear and sunny with a cool breeze, but not too cold.  I’m going to miss the warmth of this place, but we have to get back to Skyhold.  And, that means I’m that much closer to seeing Varric again.  I grin, thinking about it, but then I have another thought: if Varric and I are going to be together, I should take precautions to avoid conceiving a child.  I don’t want to complicate matters while we’re still under the threat of Corypheus.  

I know the herbs I’ll need.  I head over to the potions station, and give a sigh of relief when I see all of the herbs in stock.  My cheeks feel warm as I combine the ingredients and make several doses, more than enough to start taking it before I get to Skyhold.  I turn back around to find Sera watching me intently.   _ Did she see?  No, she wouldn’t know what I was mixing, right? _

Sera smiles before turning back around.   _ Shit, what does she know?   _ I suppose she already knows enough to figure out the rest.  I sigh.  I didn’t expect my love life to be a topic for so much discussion.  But, I realize the gossip doesn’t matter.  Tenebris’s disapproval doesn’t matter.  Lucis’s pain...well, I’ll face that when I have to.   _ I want this.  I didn’t stop him when he decided to be with Andraste. _

*             *             *

The trip back to Skyhold feels shorter.  Maybe it’s my cheerful mood, or the sunny weather.  The climb back into the mountains slows our progress, but I’m fine with it.  We’re about a day outside of reaching the keep, but Varric and the others won’t be back yet, anyway.  I started taking my herbs last night, which gives me a nervous feeling.   _ What if he changed his mind?  No, he said he was serious, right? _

I hear Etiam’s voice in the back of my head, “They can’t be taught, they can’t be trusted.”   _ He’s wrong, I know it. _  But, the fluttering in my chest doesn’t subside.


	26. Small Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox returns to life at Skyhold

Chapter Twenty-Six: Small Changes

 

“I will report to the Inquisition’s advisors,” Cassandra announces as we enter the courtyard back at Skyhold.  “The mission is finished.  I will let you know if there are further orders.”

I smile at Cassandra.   _ She’s not a bad leader, I feel a little bad for having given her a hard time before. _  She smiles back.  Since I’d protected her from the wyvern venom, she’s taken a slightly different attitude with me.  I wouldn’t call us friends, really, but she’s been friendli _ er _ , at least.

Sera pipes up, “Wanna get a drink, Ferox?”

“Too early in the day for that,” I say, and get a funny look from her.  “But I can meet you there later?”

“Alright.”

Solas just gives a nod, and heads back into the keep.  I still don’t know what to make of him helping me, and I never got a chance to ask him about the lyrium.   _ Maybe I’ll get the opportunity to catch him alone soon. _

We still have several days before Declan’s team can be expected back at Skyhold, and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself.  I decide a bath and a change of clothing is definitely first, and I haven’t checked in with Tenebris or Etiam in some time.  They will probably want to know how I’m doing, and I’m curious to see what progress Tenebris has made with the red lyrium.

I return to my room, dropping my bags just inside the door.  There are two women bringing in a bath again.   _ Leliana, so thoughtful.  I need to thank you. _  I smile gratefully at the women and thank them for bringing it.  Once they leave, I immediately step out of my clothing.  The armor I had been wearing on the day of the wyvern hunt is ruined, and I’d been reduced to wearing the same clothing over and over.  I feel filthy.  A bath is just what I need.

Warming up my fire a bit so I won’t freeze after getting out of the bath, I step into the tub and relax in the water.  I sigh happily with relief at the warmth; it feels good on my tired muscles.  I wish again that I could have just used my ring to return.  All the travel by horseback is exhausting.  But, at least my ring is still fully charged.  That means I can check on Miracle or Serenade whenever I need.  I’m excited about Serenade’s eggs.  New dragons!  And if they are able to survive until adulthood, so much the better.  They may turn out to be the ones to birth new magic into the world.

I watch the steam curl up from the surface of the water, reluctant to give up its warmth, even though it’s making feel a bit sleepy.  I should probably get out, but it feels so nice…

I’m awakened by a knock at the door.  The water has grown a bit colder, but it’s still warm, meaning I’ve only been out for a few minutes at most.

“Who is it?” I call out.

“It’s Cullen, may I come in?”  
“No!” I cry out, maybe a little too sharply.  “Uh, sorry, I’m in the bath.  Give me a moment.”

“I...of course,” he answers.

I dry myself off.  There’s no helping my damp hair, but I’m able to pull on a warm robe at least before going to open the door a crack.

“Yes?” I ask him.  His cheeks are a bit pink.

“Sorry to disturb you. I just had a few questions, but I can return another time.”

“How about I meet you at the viewing spot in a half hour or so?” I suggest.

“That will work, then,” he states, gives a small bow, and leaves.

_ Well, that was unexpected.  I wonder what he wants to ask me. _  I make quick work of finishing drying off, including using a bit of heat to help dry my hair.  I don’t bother doing anything else with it, leaving the dark wavy tresses loose.  I dress in my blue armor I wore when I first got to Skyhold.  I decide I have time to contact my brothers.

Opening the pendant, I add the touch of magic to bring it to life.  No image from the Watcher’s Well back in the Black City.  “Etiam, are you there?”  No response, so I wait a bit longer, but still nothing.   _ Hm. _  Giving up on Etiam for the moment, I reach out for Tenebris, instead.

“Tenebris, please respond,” I whisper hopefully.  I know it’s the middle of the day, he may be busy.  Thankfully, he does answer.

“Ferox!  I see that you have returned back to the keep.  I trust all went well with the dragon?”

“Yes, the dragon is safe, and has probably laid her eggs by now,” I say happily.

“She was ready to nest?  That’s magnificent!  Good work, Sister.”

“It wasn’t easy.  There were dozens of wyverns hunting in the area, terrorizing the poor thing.  I got hit by a strange white wyvern.  It’s venom nearly knocked me out.”

“A snowy wyvern?  Those are rare.  Ferox, you’re lucky to be alive.”

“You know what it was, then?  I felt foolish admitting that Dragon Girl didn’t know what to call it.”

“Yes, they’re a newer mutation.  Snowy wyverns are often sought after, as their hearts and other parts are used in potions and for other magical arts.  But their venom is said to be quite deadly.  I’m glad you are well.”

“Yeah, thanks to Solas,” I admit bitterly.

“That trickster helped you?”

“I’m not sure what his agenda was, but yes.  But anyway, enough about my mission.  How is Kirkwall?”

“Chaotic.  It’s a strange city, Ferox, all convoluted, both in the twisting streets, and the people.  Things did not fare well here after the explosion.  The people are scared.”

“Have you seen Bartrand?”

“Yes.  His condition is quite unfortunate.  I tried using a cleansing spell, and it helped a little, but he’s still barely coherent at the best of times.  Even now, this red lyrium seems to affect him, even though he hasn’t touched it in years.  He says it sang to him, that he wants to ‘hear the song again’.”

“That sounds like the call of an Archdemon.”

“My thoughts originally, as well, but as far as I can tell, there aren’t any dragons involved.  I do, however, think that Blight magic might be.  I believe I’m onto something, but I want to run a few tests.”

“Good luck brother, I’m glad to see you are making progress, as well.  I cannot speak further, I have a meeting I must get to, but I wanted to see that you fared well.”

“Another time then, dear sister.  I will keep you apprised of my progress.”

“Until then,” I say, and end the magical connection.

I’m glad Tenebris is working on this.   _ So the red lyrium has a call like an Archdemon, Corypheus corrupted a dragon, and he’s using the Calling to make the Grey Wardens think they are dying. _  I know Corypheus is a darkspawn, but these things seem more and more like they are not a coincidence at all.  Someone is manipulating the magic of the Blight, and it’s not just the magister.  But, if anyone can figure this out, it’s Tenebris.

I need to get to my meeting with Cullen.  The quickest route - I think - is by Solas’s quarters, and up through the library.  That means I might be able to ask Solas my question, and, with any luck, see Dorian on the way.   _ Today is shaping up to be better than I expected. _

Solas is in his quarters, so I step inside.  I find him seated at the table, reading a book.

“Solas,” I say, getting his attention.

“Greetings, Ferox,” he responds, setting the book down gently and standing to face me.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“I assume you wish to ask me why I healed you?” he questions.

“That’s part of it,” I admit.

He thinks for a moment before he speaks.  “I never held animosity for you.  My creation of the Veil was about my quarrel with my own people more than it was about yours.”

“I find that hard to believe.  We suffered because of what you did.”

“As did I.”

I’m silent at that, trying to understand what it must have been like for him to seal his own people away.  I think of my family, and I can’t imagine anything worse.

He says, “So to answer your question, I assisted you because I wished to do so.”

“And the lyrium potion you made me drink?”

“It helped you, did it not?”

I sigh.  Talking with Solas makes my head hurt.  “Maybe a little.  I thought you did it to hide me from Seeker Cassandra.”

He just smiles.  _  I still don’t trust him. _

“I need to be going,” I state, and take a few steps toward the door.

“Farewell, friend.”

I look back at him at the word “friend”, but he’s already turned around to return to the table and his book.   _ Friends  _ with  _ Solas? _  Not likely.  I take the stairs to the second level, and am surrounded by the familiar smell of dusty tomes again.  Dorian isn’t in his usual spot, and I admit, I’m a little disappointed.  I enjoy my banter with the Tevinter mage, and I was looking forward to sharing the information I had just heard from Tenebris.

I continue on and find my way to the spot on the ramparts where Cullen and I had once met in the dark of night, looking at the stars.  It’s daylight now, and the view of the sky is less impressive due to encroaching cloud cover.   _ Not my fault this time, at least. _  It appears I’ve arrived first.

I lean against the stone wall, waiting.   _ What could Cullen possibly need from me? _  I knew Cassandra had gone to report to him.  He should have all the information he needs about our mission.   _ Maybe it’s something about Serenade? _

I don’t have long to wait.  The templar-turned-commander is punctual, at least.  He sees me, and smiles.

“Have you been here long?”

“No, I just got here.”

“Good.”  He looks out over the wall.  “Still a pretty view, but I think I prefer it on a clear night,” he comments.

“Yes, but you didn’t ask me here to discuss the weather.  What is it, Cullen?”

“I heard about what happened from Cassandra.  Are you feeling alright?” he asks.

“After the the wyvern fight, you mean?”

He nods.

“Yes, I am well.  Solas is an excellent healer,” I admit.

“That is a relief.  Did I hear correctly that you got the dragon to talk to you by dancing?”

“She was agitated, I had to distract her from it.”

“Ah.  Okay, so to get to the real reason I asked to see you...when the Inquisitor gets back, there is a grand ball being held at the Winter Palace held by Empress Celene.  The Inquisition is planning to make an appearance.  I was hoping to convince you to go.”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” I cry out, immediately regretting it when Cullen looks as though I’ve slapped him.  I try to explain.  “You obviously haven’t been talking much with Josephine or Vivienne about me.  They’ll tell you how I can’t even manage a simple dinner without losing my temper.  I’m not fit for fancy parties.”

He gives a small laugh, and that grin is back.  “That’s kind of why I want you there.  I hate these things.  I always feel like I’m somehow...on display.  At least with you there, I’d have someone to talk to.  And you obviously know how to dance, I so thought…”

“It’s not a bad thought, sorry.  I didn’t mean to offend you.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been anywhere like that.”

“So you’ll go with me?”

“Oh,  _ with _ you...I…”

“You’re seeing someone,” he concludes, nodding.  “Of course you’re seeing someone.”

“Yes, well, I think so...sort of,” I finish, wincing at the awkwardness of my statement.

He raises an eyebrow.  “Alright, I won’t pry.  But the offer still stands, if you change your mind.  It would be nice to have a friend there.  Or, if your ‘sort-of’ suitor invites you, perhaps you’ll rescue me for a few moments by dancing with me.”

“If I go, then it’s a promise.  Of course, it’ll be awkward.”

“Why is that?”   


“Because you’re too tall, that’s why!”

He laughs.  “No wonder you always look up,” he comments, still chuckling.  “It’s because you can’t see over things.”   


“Hey!  Okay, maybe you’re not a nice person, after all,” I pout, but it lacks any real anger.  “Oh, you know who probably would appreciate an invitation, though...”

“Who’s that?”

“Seeker Pentaghast.”

“What?!”

“I’ve just spent several days watching her.  She has a surprising feminine side that she doesn’t show to many.  I bet if you ask her the way you asked me, you’ll see her blush.  Plus, she could reach your shoulders a lot better than I could.”

“I’ll...keep that in mind.”  He looks away, then his eyes widen, apparently thinking of something.  “Oh, do you play chess?”

“There’s another thing I haven’t done in ages.  My brother Etiam loved it, but he was too good and I always lost,” I admit with a shrug.  “I’m not sure I even really remember how to play.”

“I could teach you, and I think my sister could probably give your brother a run for his money.  It might be a relief to play against someone I could actually defeat.”

“That sounds enjoyable, but I promised to meet Sera for a drink.  I’m afraid I don’t have the time right now.”

“Perhaps tomorrow afternoon, then?  In the garden?”

“You’re on.  But I warn you, once I get the hang of it again, I won’t go easy.”

“Then I look forward to the challenge.”  With a small bow, he turns and heads back toward his office.

I shake my head.   _ To think, a few days ago, I’d stopped wanting the friendship of these people.  I was wrong.  It’s worth the risk. _

I make my way back, and take one of the many staircases down from the ramparts.  I head toward the Hanged Man.  When I open the door, I can hear the hinges squeak, telling me just how empty the place is today.  It’s a major change from the last time I was here, when Hawke and I couldn’t even find a seat.  Sera is sitting at Bull’s table with Krem.  The Chargers are missing again today.   _ They must be out on another mission _ .

“Hail, Dragon Girl!” Krem shouts upon seeing me, raising his mug of ale.  Sera twitters, and Bull just smiles.

“Come, tell us the tale of your date with a dragon,” Bull calls, waving his hand to encourage me to come closer.

I look at Sera as I walk over.  “I’ve been back what, a couple of hours, and people know already?”

“It’s a good story, innit?”

“Did they also hear about my epic battle with the snowy wyvern?” I ask, my voice low and dramatic.

“Your epic failure, you mean,” she says with a snort.  “But I guess you saved the leader, so that should count for something.  Wait, you said ‘snowy’ wyvern?”

“Yeah, I found out once I got back that they’re a bit different.”

“Oh, those things are badass,” Bull cheers.  “I wouldn’t have minded handing its ass right back to it.”

“Well then, instead of another _ Ferox talks to dragons _ story, let’s hear the one about how the  _ mighty Sera _ killed the scaly beast and saved the day,” I suggest, attempting to get the attention off myself.

“Well, I  _ was _ pretty good,” she admits, and launches into storytelling mode.  I’m happy to sit back this time and let her have the limelight.  She’s not as good as Varric at reenacting stories, but she does sound effects, which makes everyone laugh.  I have a couple of drinks and a meal with them before deciding it’s time to retire to my room.

“This was fun,” I announce, to agreement from table.

“Nearly as much fun as that time in Jader, with the girl with the one-”

“Not now, Krem,” Bull says, cutting him off.  “That’s not a story you tell in front of ladies.”

Krem looks at us.  “I bet Sera wants to hear it.”

Sera does, indeed, look very interested.  

“Sounds like that’s my cue.  You guys enjoy the rest of your evening.”  

I bow my head, and walk back to the keep.  My trip is uneventful this time, and I make it to my room without incident.  I start up the fire with a quick spark from my hand, and crawl into my bed. It’s slightly lumpy, but far more comfortable than a pallet on the ground.  With one last thought about how long it will take Varric to get back, I drift off to a restful sleep.


	27. Standing Together

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Standing Together

 

A new day dawns and I feel at peace.  I stretch in my bed, reluctant to leave its warmth although I’m not really tired anymore.  I throw the covers off, and shiver.  I reach for the warm robe and throw it over my shoulders, stoking the fire a bit.   _ They must have entire crews here just devoted to just finding firewood.  Of course, come to think of it, some of those empty rooms here were full of old furniture.  They’re probably going through it first. _

Sure enough, when I peek into the embers of the fire, I see one of the logs off to the side that had not completely burned had a curved shape as though it had been carved.   _ That had to be the leg of an armoire or chest of drawers or the like _ .

The day passes peacefully enough.  I learn that Dorian left on another mission and that’s why I didn’t see him yesterday; but he’s due back soon, probably before the others.  Skyhold seems a little empty.  It’s a bit lonely, to be honest, and I look forward to my allotted chess time with Cullen later.

I practice magic with some of the other mages just to pass the time, and teach them a few things.  It makes me remember the way things used to be, teaching the humans of the world to use their abilities.  Of course, magic was more prevalent back then.  Now, many forms of magic are locked behind the Veil, or gone entirely.

It’s time to meet Cullen; but I glance down and I notice the glow from my pendant.   _ Now? _  I’ve already reached the garden, so I glance around for a space for privacy.  I go back to the shrine, but find Cullen praying there.  He doesn’t notice me. I hear the words of the Chant of Light pouring from him, which makes me smile.  I quietly step back and close the door.   _ Need somewhere else, he won’t be long _ .  I take some of the twisting hallways again and end up in the underground wine cellar.   _ This will work. _

I barely open the locket when the magic springs to life and Tenebris’s face is there.

“Hello brother, what is it?”

“I have something urgent to tell you.  Are you alone?”

“For the moment, but I’m meeting with someone in a few minutes.”

“Where are you...looks like the cellars at Skyhold…” he mutters, and the connection ends.

I’m staring at it in confusion, when his voice sounds from in the room behind me.

“Sister,” he says, and I turn around, snapping the pendant closed.  I embrace him, and he returns it.

“What is so urgent?” I ask, slipping the pendant back on.

“I fear I have grave news.”

“Not about Bartrand?” I ask, suddenly worried for Varric’s brother.

“No, the dwarf is improving a little with repeated treatments.  But I have an idea of who may be helping Corypheus.  There’s only one thing that makes sense.  It has to be a god.”

“What?  Do you think Fen’Harel…” I wonder, thinking back to Solas’s help.

“It is possible...but his knowledge of the Blight is limited.  If it is him, I doubt he is acting alone.”

A sick feeling starts in the pit of my stomach.  “What are you saying, Tenebris?”

“I think one of our brothers may be involved.”

“That’s why you came in person.  You didn’t want to be overheard.”

“I may be wrong.  Stars, I  _ hope _ I’m wrong,” he says, shaking his head.  “But I wanted to share this with you.”

“What do we do?” I ask.

“For now, I’d say nothing.  Do not let on that we suspect them of anything.  If it is as I fear, one of them will tip their hand and we will know.”

“I haven’t been able to talk to Etiam, anyway.  He’s never there when I try to reach him.”

Tenebris sighs.  “Most troublesome. I should return before I am missed.”

“I will be careful with Solas and in talking with Etiam if he contacts me.  Thank you for bringing me the news about Bartrand; Varric will be happy to hear it.”

“Hm...so you’ve decided on the dwarf, then,” he says with a sigh.

“Yes.  But this time I’ve thought it through, and I can accept whatever happens.  I believe it to be worth whatever risk I face to myself.”

He hugs me again.  “Then I will not stand in your way, but I caution you to keep it from our brothers, for now.  If they wish these people harm, you do not want to give them a target.”

I nod.  “Thank you for understanding.  Will I see you again soon?”

“I’ll be leaving Kirkwall in a couple of days.  The alchemists now seem to understand the creation of cleansing amulets and potions.  It is the best I can do for the dwarf.  I hope in time he will recover.”

“Until I see you again, then.”

With a twist of his ring, Tenebris is gone, and now I stand alone in the dim torchlight of the underground chamber, lost in my own thoughts.  Varric will be happy about his brother, but now I’m worried about mine.  What would possess Etiam or Lucis to corrupt the lyrium, or stars, to  _ help _ the magister who wanted to destroy our home and seat of power?  No answers immediately come to mind, but I have no other conclusions as to how Corypheus is managing to accomplish what he is.

I still need to meet Cullen, but now my heart is heavy.  I sigh, realizing there is nothing I can do about the immediate state of things.  Saving the dragons is the only way to stave off permanent destruction of magic in Thedas.  The same goes for the lyrium.  If it all turns to red and spreads across the land, the corruption will cause the people of this world to fall.  If either of our brothers is helping this happen, they will stop, or they will feel my wrath.

I realize I need to learn more about Corypheus’s corrupted dragon, and I look forward to speaking with Declan when he returns.  He’s the one who has seen it closest, and will be able to provide the most detail.  Between Tenebris and I, if we can’t help the dragon, we should at least be able to find a way to end its suffering.

I head back to the garden and Cullen is sitting at the chessboard already.  He stands when I approach.

“Hello, Cullen,” I greet him, but smiling is difficult.

“Ferox. Is this a bad time?” he asks, noticing my expression.

“No, I was just...reading correspondence from my brother in Kirkwall.  He is making some progress with the red lyrium.  Bartrand is improving.”

“That’s good news, so why do you not seem happy?”

“Because we’re not getting anywhere with the rest of it.  We know a few things, but will it be enough?”

“What has he learned?” he questions, our game forgotten for the moment.

“We know that the red lyrium seems to have a ‘song’ like the call of an Archdemon, and yet, there is no Blight happening.  Somehow it can reach to people long after they are away from it.  And we know that Corypheus is somehow faking the Calling.  From what we know of darkspawn and the ancient magisters, he shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“Yes, Hawke and Alistair advised us of the situation with the Wardens.”

“Any word on their progress?”

“Yes, but it isn’t encouraging.  The Wardens were sacrificing the lives of their order to summon an army of demons.”

“What?!  No!” I cry.  “Those poor spirits.”

Cullen looks at me strangely.  “The spirits, and not the Wardens?”

“Of course the loss of life is saddening,” I correct.  “But the spirits didn’t choose this, either.  Just like the rifts, summoning a spirit here against its will twists it, corrupts it.  They suffer.”

“I believe Solas said something similar once.  I’ll admit, I did not really understand at the time.  You’re saying they’re in pain?”

“Sometimes.  It’s more...well, imagine if you lost yourself in a fit of rage.  You destroy the things around you without noticing the ramifications of your anger.  All you can see is your own suffering.  That is what happens to demons.  They get lost in an emotion, find a purpose that is wrong, but they don’t see it, and can’t stop it…ugh, Etiam would explain this better than I could.”

“No, what you said makes sense.”

“What they are doing...I understand the Wardens believe in using any means necessary to stop the threat, but there is no way this is the right thing to do.  They can’t be allowed to continue.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“Why?”

“Because once we find where they are hiding, we will plan an assault on their location.  I’m sure your knowledge will be helpful.  And your brother’s, of course, should he be available.”

“Of course I’ll help,” I smile.

He smiles back.  “Now, shall we play?” He gestures toward the chess board.

“Yes, let’s,” I tell him, and wait while he sets up the pieces.  “Cullen...thank you.  I feel better having talked about it.  We live in a troubled time, but it’s good to know we’re not alone.  We can face what comes together.”   


He meets my gaze.  “I think that’s the whole point of the Inquisition.”  He looks thoughtful for a moment, and states, “The night is long, and the path is dark.  Look to the sky, for one day soon, the dawn will come.”

“That’s beautiful, what is that?”

“A song.  And a beacon of hope in the darkness.”

“Just what I need in this process of learning to play again,” I sigh dramatically, throwing my head to the side.  “Teach me, Commander.”


	28. A Welcome Return

Chapter Twenty-Eight: A Welcome Return

 

The next few days blend together.  I work with the mages, and I’m happy to see a few of them improving their skills already.  After that, I meet with Cullen to play chess, and a couple of times I watch as he instructs the soldiers in their training.  Sometimes I see Solas and Cassandra in passing.  Dorian has not returned yet, nor has Tenebris. Evenings are often spent at the Herald’s Rest over a drink or two and a story.

Today, though, things are a bit different.  With any luck, Varric and the others should be coming home today.  I take a little extra time on my appearance.  I choose a dress today instead of armor.  It’s pale yellow, with a square neckline and flowing hem.  It’s not exactly what would be considered high fashion, even for the Frostbacks, but it’s a serviceable dress, and I like it.  The long tight sleeves have a tiny flare at the end.  I leave my hair loose and flowing, but add a jeweled comb in the shape of a flower, pulling the hair back a little on one side.  I glance at myself in the mirror, and it realize I look really feminine today.  Not wearing trousers feels strange, but I hope Varric likes it.

The day starts much like any other.  I go to breakfast and hurry through eating in order to avoid spending much time with Vivienne.  Josephine is there, and calls my dress “cute”, which I interpret as “quaint and unfashionable”.  I look at the numerous frills on her outfit and I’m not surprised she doesn’t approve.  But, again,  _ I _ like it.  That’s really what matters.

After breakfast, I go to the stone platform area where I had first shown my magical talents to Fiona.  I’ve been tutoring some of the mages who were struggling the most.  I spend a couple of hours helping them remember their form, and to have the right mindset for each spell.  All spells require concentration; but some work better with a little anger or passion to fuel them, and some work better with a calm, stoic mind.  Keeping the right focus for the spell, and especially switching back and forth between them can be difficult.  My pupils seem to be showing promise, however.

I find myself returning over and over to the front of the keep, looking for signs of Declan’s party.  So far, there has been no word, and they haven’t been spotted yet.  Still, my attention automatically goes back to waiting for them.

After lunch I meet Cullen in the garden.  His eyebrows raise upon seeing my choice of dress today.  “You look different,” he remarks.

“Yeah, well, I just wanted something different today.”

“It looks good,” he says, turning away.   _ Is he blushing? _

“I think I’ve gotten better at chess, though, Cullen.  I bet today’s the day I win.”

“You’re on,” he says, and sets up the board.

We’re about halfway through our game, which I happen to be winning, or at least I think I am, when I suddenly realize we’re not alone.  I look up to see Alistair walking in the garden.   _ They’re back! _  I quickly stand up, startling Cullen.

“Alistair!” I call, and walk over to where he is standing.  Cullen follows.  “I’m happy to see you made it back.  Did the others arrive at the same time as you?”

“Yes, Varric is...wait, he’s not there anymore.  Odd, he was just with me.”

“Sorry Cullen, I have to go.”

“Guess this means our chess matches are over now that the Inquisitor is back.  I’m sure he’ll have better things for you to do.”

“I’m onto you, Commander. You just want to stop because I was winning.  Not a chance, we’ll find time again,” I comment, and rush out of the garden.

Entering the main hall, I don’t see him, but Declan and Hawke are there.

“Where is he?” I blurt out.

Declan looks confused, but Garrett just laughs.  “Last time I saw him, he was headed upstairs.  I’d say he was probably going to his quarters.”

“Thanks, Garrett,” I reply with a grin before running across to the far door.

Behind me I hear Declan ask, “What was that about?”   


“My guess is a certain lucky dwarf is about to get a very warm welcome.”

Solas is startled as I pass his room, but I don’t have time to stop and chat today.  Up the stairs I go, avoiding the library, and I find the long hallway.  Taking the side branch that I know leads to Varric’s room, I see him.  He’s reaching his hand to open the door when he notices me.

He stops, turning to look at me, and I sprint toward him.  Confusion crosses his features, but he drops his belongings and takes a step toward me just in time to catch me as I launch myself into his arms.

“Well hello to you, too, Firefly,” he comments.

“I’m sorry I was being an idiot and didn’t listen to you,” I mutter, wrapping my arms around him.  “I missed you.”

“Ferox…”  One of Varric’s hands finds the small of my back and the other reaches up to touch my face.  “You’re a such a breath of fresh air after the shit I’ve just seen.”  Our lips seek each other’s automatically.  I can tell he hasn’t shaved, and the stubble is scratchy, but I don’t care, and I kiss him back for all I’m worth.

“My Firefly,” he murmurs after the kiss ends, both of us breathing a little heavy.

“I like the sound of that.”

“Maker, you smell good,” he sighs, holding me close.

“I thought we agreed to leave him out of this,” I laugh.  “And anyway, you don’t.  Smell good, that is.”

“Shit, you’re probably right.  I’ve been on the road for days.”  He loosens his hold, but I’m not about to let him do that.

“I don’t care,” I declare, and kiss him again.

When we again pull apart, I can see his eyes have the same passion as mine probably do.  “So you believe me now?” he asks.

“Yes.  I was really hurt when I thought you had lied about her, and I have this thing I do where I shut off my emotions.  I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yeah, Hawke filled me in.  I...guess I have a confession to make too.”

“What’s that?”

“I saw you and Curly in the garden just now, and you looked really happy.  I guess I got jealous.  I thought maybe  _ you  _ had moved on,” he sighs.

“It’s only ever been you, Varric,” I admit, and he huffs a sigh of relief.

“And what about your brother?  He wasn’t too keen on me the last time I saw him.”

“Tenebris just wants what’s best for me, but he’s agreed not to interfere.  Anyway, he’s not due back from Kirkwall yet.”

“So there’s nothing in the way anymore.”

“Just too much clothing,” I tease, pulling at his armored jacket, and I’m rewarded with a surprised chuckle.

“You little minx,” he says, stroking my hair.  “Sadly, Declan’s expecting me to report to his advisors in a few minutes, and if I don’t show up, they’ll come looking for me.  I really should clean up, too.  I think my dirt is gathering dirt at this point.”

“Guess I’ll see you at dinner then.”

“Yeah.”  He sighs, “The handsome dwarf reluctantly let go of his prize, knowing that it would be that much sweeter for the waiting.”

“Was that a line from one of your books?”

“Nope, the story of us.”

I grin.  “I like it.  Get to work, handsome, I’ll see you later.”  I kiss his cheek and walk back down the hallway.  When I turn at the corner, he’s still watching me, a smile on his face.   _ Until later. _

The rest of the day seems to take forever, now that I know he’s here.  I try walking, but that doesn’t help.  I don’t really want to have to talk about  Varric with anyone yet, so I avoid the tavern, and instead choose to just go back to my room.

I try contacting Etiam again, but he still doesn’t answer.   _ What is going on?   _ I worry that it has something to do with Lucis.  Surely he knows that Tenebris and I have left now.  Perhaps they are watching the human world together.  I’ve shielded my presence since I first arrived to avoid detection in the Watcher’s Well.  I assume Fen’Harel is doing the same, as he hadn’t shown up in the Well while I had been watching and I hadn’t known he was here until I saw him.

Finally, it’s time for dinner.  I check my appearance again, remember to take my herbs, thinking to myself that I’m probably not returning here until tomorrow.  I smile, thinking about spending the night with Varric.  I notice my cheeks are a bit pink, but I bet it will only get worse throughout the evening, so I don’t attempt to cover it with cosmetics.

I wait for a while longer.  The less time I have to spend with some of the people Declan invites to dinner, the better.  I just hope I can still sit next to Varric when I get there.  I walk into the main hall and see several welcome faces, in addition to the one I most wanted to see, of course.  Declan, Hawke, Alistair, Cassandra and Dorian are already seated.   _Dorian_ __m_ ust have returned home this afternoon as well _ .  I’m very happy to see him.  I head to the empty seat, in between Varric and Dorian.   _ Exactly where I’d choose to be. _

“Ferox, my dear, you look radiant this evening,” Dorian says, pulling out my chair for me.

“Hey Tevinter, I’ve missed you around here.  Cullen said you were on a mission, but wouldn’t tell me any of the details.”

“Oh, so it’s  _ Cullen _ now?” he asks in a teasing tone.

“Don’t read too much into it.  He’s just a friend.  Now about your mission?”

“Er, yes.  It was about the Venatori.  They were unearthing artifacts in the Hissing Wastes, most of them dwarven, but some of were from ancient Tevinter.  I was sent out to help accompany the shipment back, and try to make heads or tails of what they found.  I did find something most interesting, through.”

“Oh, what’s that?”

“A reference to you, of all things,” Dorian states and I about spit out the drink of water I had just taken.  Hawke shoots me a look, and I can tell Varric is trying hard to control his expression.

“Oh really?” I ask.

“Well, not really.  A Ferox, yes, but one from a long time ago.  We found tablets and ancient manuscripts, preserved underground for hundreds of years.  It’s quite blasphemous, of course, the idea that there were other gods.  It is little wonder that other texts do not mention her - no doubt they were destroyed long ago.  They called her “Ferox the Destroyer”.  Your family must have had a sick sense of humor, naming you after an ancient Tevinter goddess of destruction.”

I say nothing, just smile in what I hope is an enigmatic way.

“I have not heard this story,” Cassandra states.  “Varric, have you?”

“A little,” he mutters.

“There was an ancient Tevinter goddess named Ferox?  I’ll admit, I’m intrigued,” Declan comments.

“As am I,” Alistair adds, looking at me strangely.  “What did the artifacts have to say about her?” he asks.

“I haven’t translated all of it yet, but they said she was the twin of another god known as the Creator.  That’s probably where your parents got the idea for the name, Ferox.  You’re a twin, yes?  It said she was wild in spirit and often capricious, given to changing her mood at the least provocation.  According to the book, she was so tied to the elements that when the Destroyer’s mood was pleasant, the weather was mild, but when she was angered, she could level a town with hurricanes, or bury them under snow.  So the people brought her gifts to keep her appeased.”

“Did it speak of the other gods?” I ask.

“I haven’t translated that far.  When I saw the name Ferox, I looked into that portion first.”

“Ah,” is all I say.

“Did I say something wrong?” Dorian asks, suddenly concerned.

“No, I’m fine.”

Something touches my leg under the table.  It’s Varric’s hand.  I want to look over, but resist the urge.  I don’t move his hand, allowing it to stay.  It’s clear he’s trying to give me comfort, but it’s also a bit...distracting.  Then he starts tracing slow circles on the outside of my thigh with his thumb.   _ No, I take it back, the dwarf knows exactly what he’s doing. _  But, I have to admit, it’s helping.  It’s hard to stay upset with what he’s doing.  I flash a small smile at him to let him know it’s working before turning back to Dorian.

“I’m glad you made it back safely,” I tell Dorian.

“Are you feeling well?” Declan asks.  “Your face looks a little flushed.”

It’s Varric’s turn to nearly choke, and he pulls his hand back.  I miss the warmth already, but I do my best to keep my disappointment from showing.

Cassandra makes a disgusted noise and shakes her head.

“What?” Declan asks her.

“Please tell me you’re not that blind, Inquisitor,” she replies.

“No, it’s just fun to tease them.”

_ What?   _ I look at him and he’s grinning at Varric and I.  

“I’ve known the two of you for a while now, and you aren’t as subtle as you think you are,” he says, chuckling.  “I’m happy for you both.  It’s about time we had some good news around here.”

“Oh, good news!  Yes, I have good news.  Varric, you’re going to be happy to hear this,” I preface, looking at him.  “I heard from Tenebris, and it sounds like Bartrand is getting a little better with the treatments my brother devised.  He’s hopeful that he will continue to improve.”

Varric grabs my hand and squeezes it, apparently no longer interested in hiding our contact.

“That is good news, indeed,” Garrett adds.  “If the effects of red lyrium can be counteracted, even a little, it’s more hope than what he had to offer the infected before.”

“Unfortunately, he hasn’t found a way to stop it growing yet,” I report.  “He’ll be returning from Kirkwall soon.”

The conversation dies down after that.  A moment passes, and Declan yawns.  “Wow, look at the time,” he says.  “I think it would be best to retire early.  We’ve all had a long day.”   _ Thanks, Declan. _

“Meet me upstairs in a few,” Varric whispers as he stands up.  To the rest of the table, he announces, “I think I’m going to turn in, too.”

The group disbands.  I make as though I’m going to go to my room, but stop in the garden for a moment and I look up at the sky.  The heavens are painted in brushstrokes of orange and gold.  It’s magnificent; a perfect sunset.

After that, I make my way back inside to the long hallway, and knock on Varric’s door.


	29. Fireflies at Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a NSFW chapter

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Fireflies at Sunset

 

The door opens and Varric steals my breath away with his smile.  He takes my hand and leads me inside, shutting the door behind us.  The room looks much the same as it had from the small glimpse I had gotten of it a couple of weeks ago.  Simple, but with warm touches like an oversized chair and a desk.  Nothing ostentatious, but definitely made of good quality.

I’m barely inside the door when he slides a hand into my hair and pulls me in for a kiss.  A quiet sigh escapes me, and I relish the feeling of his affection.  I part my lips a little wider, and his tongue darts in, sensually caressing my own.  Tilting my head at an angle, I give myself over to his mouth.  He’s sweet, and tender, and my heart beats as though it wants to break out of my chest.  One of my arms finds its way under his, trailing my fingers across his rib cage, and around to his back.

He pulls away from me and there’s a question in his warm light brown eyes.  “Firefly, you’re sure you want to do this, right?” he asks.

“I’m sure.  I want you, Varric.”

“Poetry to my ears,” he says with a small shake of his head, a kind smile lighting his face.  He goes to kiss me, but I put a hand up to stop him.

“But before this goes much further, I need to tell you...it’s been a long time.  I’m probably rusty at all this,” I admit.

He grins.  “I’m sure we’ll figure it out just fine.  It’s been a while for me too.”

“Are _you_ sure?” I tease, and let out a squeal as he hugs me close.

“I haven’t been able to _stop_ thinking about you.  Yes, I’m sure, you vixen,” he chuckles.

We both lean in for the second kiss without hesitation.   _I trust you._ I reach up and free his hair from its tie.  He looks really different with his hair down, although it hides his earrings, which I personally adore, one of his minor outward signs of rebellion.  But with his hair down, he seems younger, less world-weary.  I’ve only seen him this way a few times when we were sharing a sleeping space together.  

“You look so different with your hair down,” I comment, letting him know my thoughts.  “I like it.”

He reaches for my hair comb and removes it.  My wavy hair falls around my shoulders.  “I like this, too,” he says, looking at the flower-shaped ornament.  “It suits you.”  He sets it aside with the strip of leather he used in his own hair on the side table.  His hand slips into my hair again, fingers grasping, this time pulling my head to the side and exposing my neck.  I feel the warmth of his lips as he presses them against my jaw, trailing kisses down the length of my neck.  I gasp, feeling his other hand moving up my side.

He looks at me, confused.  “What are you wearing under this thing?” he questions.

“A corset,” I answer with a small laugh.  “I guess it is a pretty structured one.”

“It just felt strange.  I wasn’t expecting it.”

Stepping aside, I kick off my soft slippers and scoot them close to the chair.  “Will you help me with my dress?” I ask, turning around to show him the fastenings on the back.  He plants a gentle kiss on my shoulder, causing me to blush as I look back at him shyly.  His thick fingers unerringly find each of the closures and loosens them, one after another.  I feel the back of the dress widen and the fabric slide down my shoulders.  I allow it to pool at my feet and step out of it, draping it over the chair.  

My cheeks feel like they’re on fire when I turn back to him, standing in nothing by my corset and my smalls.  

Varric steps closer, and pulls my chin up with his fingers.  “Ferox, look at me.”  I look him in the eye.  “As adorable as your blushing face is, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.  You’re beautiful.  More beautiful than I could have ever imagined.”

He reaches for his jacket to remove it, and I put my hands on top of his.  I grin mischievously, and move to the hem of his jacket instead.  I start at the bottom button, and he starts at the top, and we end up racing to see who gets to the middle the fastest, laughing at each other as we go.  The laughing stop once his jacket is open and I see the skin beneath.  I slide it off his shoulders, and toss it on the chair with my dress.  I knew what his chest looked like from the morning when we’d had to share a tent with Hawke, but I forgot how strong his arms are.  I run my hand over the sculpted muscle, admiring the shape.  I hear his breathing catch as I touch him.

I look back up to find him watching me.  We kiss again, more forceful now, the passion growing for both of us.  I cling to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling the warm skin of his chest pressing against the newly exposed flesh of my shoulders and upper chest, but it’s still not enough.

I let go and walk closer to the bed, glancing back at him.  “A little more help?” I ask.  Blushing again, I move my hair to expose the ties of my corset.  Keeping my hands in front of me, I hold the garment up while he loosens the stays.  Afterwards, I remove the corset, letting it drop to the side.   _Breathe.  He’s not going to reject you.  Trust him_.

Varric puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me around.  His rough hand curls around the side of my neck, his thumb tracing the line of my jaw.  He looks at me, then down my body, smiling, before meeting my eyes again.  “So beautiful,” he whispers once more.

He pushes me backwards gently, guiding me to lay on the bed.  He hasn’t removed his trousers yet, I notice, but he did manage to get his boots off before he came over to this side of the room.  He climbs on the bed with me and settles in close, leaning on one arm.  His lips meet mine again in a passionate kiss, and his hand covers my bare breast.  I moan, the sound captured by his mouth.

I feel my nipple harden in response to his touch, and sigh as the ripples of pleasure echo through me. He caresses my breast in a circular motion, brushing the sensitive side before catching my nipple between his thumb and forefinger with a gentle pressure.  My breathing quickens, becoming near pants of anticipation.  He looks at me again, the light in his eyes mirroring his sensual smile,  before leaning down to capture my other nipple in his mouth.

“Oh, yes,” I mutter, low sounds of arousal coming from my throat.  I run my fingers through his hair as he gives attention to my breasts.  The soft graze of teeth surprises me and I moan again.  “Oh, stars, Varric, that feels good.”  I feel, rather than hear his chuckle of amusement, the soft friction of his stubble against the soft skin of my chest, but he thankfully doesn’t stop.  The small, yet firm movements he makes with his tongue send shivers of enjoyment right to my core.

His hand finally leaves my breast to draw swirling patterns down my midsection.  It tickles a little, but I like that too, as well as what his mouth is continuing to do.  I gasp as his hand finds its way inside my smalls, and rests overtop my womanhood.  Dipping a finger inside and finding me already very wet, Varric makes a sound almost like a growl.  

He looks up, his eyes glazed with passion.  “That’s right, Beautiful.  Open yourself for me.”  He slides a single one of his thick fingers inside and I groan, but his lips are there again to muffle the sound.  I move my knees open to give him better access, and he sets up a slow movement with his fingers, curling them inside me and moving them upwards and back.  My breathing quickly becomes ragged, and I can no longer stifle the sounds he’s causing me to make.

He plants another sweet kiss on my shoulder, and lowers himself down next to me, his head nuzzling into my neck, his hand still working its magic below.  I rock my hips against his fingers, the pleasure mounting.  I start to feel the fluttering pressure building, and I know it won’t be much longer.

“Varric, I’m going to…” I get out before the spasms start.  My back arches of the bed as the orgasm takes hold of me.

He murmurs sounds of approval in my ear.  When my trembling subsides, he removes his hand and leans back up to a kneeling position, crawling down toward my legs.  His heated gaze looks up over my body again before placing both hands on my hips, dragging my smalls down.  I lift my hips to help him free them.  I’ve stopped caring about modesty, my need for him too great.  I reach for the closure of his trousers, but he shakes his head, pushing my hand away.

“Not yet,” he says, and drops back to my side, his fingertips moving up my inner thigh.  I sigh in satisfaction.   _He really is an attentive lover._  When his fingers again find my swollen folds, I watch in fascination as he places one finger inside.  But then he surprises me by adding a second, stretching me, filling me.  I throw my head back with a throaty moan.  I nearly come again as I feel him again kiss my breasts and take my nipple into his mouth.

I whimper his name, more urgently this time, and the his fingers speed up, thrusting inside me.  His thumb finds my nub, and strokes it gently.  Sucking in ragged breaths, my own fingers tighten on the shoulder he’s using to support his weight, holding onto him as though he’s my only lifeline.  And I am indeed sinking into the depths.  

Releasing my breast he quickly kisses me again, then pulls back to watch my face as he moves his fingers in a fast rhythm.  I struggle to keep my eyes open, the pleasure mounting.

“That’s it,” he encourages, keeping eye contact with me, “come for me again, Ferox.”

His words are all the push I need, and it takes me over.  I jerk again in his arms, cries of ecstasy torn from my lips.   _Surely there is no magic in the world greater than his touch._  He kisses my hair softly when my orgasm again fades.  I’m breathing heavy, but the sweet touch of his lips against my scalp causes my heart to flutter.   _Varric_.

My thoughts clear again.   _I want to touch him._ I reach for his trousers, but again, he stops me.

“Is something wrong?” I ask, confused.

“No, I…” he starts, obviously wanting to tell me something.  “Shit, Firefly, this is hard to say out loud.”

“What is it?” I ask, moving to sit up, and placing a comforting hand on his arm.

“It’s nothing bad, really.  I’m just...not small.  I wanted to make sure you were ready.”

“Oh,” I reply, surprised.

“We can stop here if you want,” he offers.

“No way, Varric.  When I said I wanted you, I meant all of you,” I respond with a small smile.

I reach for the fastenings a third time, and although his brow wrinkles in worry, he doesn’t make me stop this time.  I kneel on the bed and pull down on the legs of his trousers, awkwardly pulling them off.  He’s not wearing anything underneath, and his erection springs free.  It’s not monstrous, as his concern over it painted it, but he’s certainly bigger than anyone I’ve ever been with before.

Before he can protest again, I wrap my hand around his hardness and he hisses in pleasure instead.  A small bead of moisture has already collected at the top, evidence of his arousal.  I’m transfixed by it.   _I want to taste him_.  I lean over and run my tongue across the head of him.  His juices taste salty, but far from unpleasant.

“Oh fuck!” he calls out, startling me, causing me to look up at him.  “As much as I want you to do that again, I’m afraid I won’t last if you keep that up, and I want to make this special.”  He leans up and pats the bed beside him, indicating for me to lay down.

I comply, and lay on my back, my dark hair spilling around me on the pillow.  Varric moves over me, pulling my legs upward and apart to settle between them.  He gazes down at me, his blonde hair framing his face.

“You’re still sure?”

“Don’t you dare stop on me now, you damned dwarf!” I protest, and he laughs, and leans down to pepper my face with kisses.

“What my lady desires, my lady receives,” he mutters, and leans back.  He grasps his shaft and guides it to my opening.  He moves it up and down over the cleft, gathering my own slick moisture on his hardness before pressing downward.

I hiss at the sensation and he stops.  I rush to reassure him, “No, no, you didn’t hurt me.  It’s just...stars, you’re big.  Keep going, _please_ ,” I beg.

He pulls back a tiny bit only to move forward again, gaining another inch or so of depth.  He pauses, allowing me to adjust to his size.  There’s a pressure, not pain, really, but a definite fullness and an intensity like I’ve never experienced before.  I don’t want him to stop.  I want to take him as much as I can.

Another thrust, another small movement forward, another groan from both of us.  Again, and another inch, another moment where he holds himself still.  I look up at him.  He seems to be concentrating.   _Sweet, gentle Varric_.  I try raising my legs a little higher, and he sinks in further.  I gasp.

He leans down to kiss me again, pushing my legs down toward my chest.  I feel the stretch in my muscles, but I don’t care.  I want his kiss too badly, and arch up toward him to meet his lips.  He begins a slow rhythm with his thrusts, and I close my eyes, one hand gripping the sheet next to me.  After a few strokes, I’m able to take nearly all of him before he hits my cervix.  Another intense feeling, not quite pain, and definitely pleasurable.

“Almost,” he mutters near my ear and pushes against me, filling me as full as he can.

The sensations and the pressure are finally too much for me and I come again, crying out against his mouth.  Varric grunts in concentration, and his strokes become longer, more forceful.

“Yes, yes, Varric,” I murmur between my own labored breaths and his fevered kisses.

“I’m close,” he tells me, and his thrusts become deeper, but less even, jerky.  I’m pushed over the edge again, and I my own climax joins his, or bodies locked together, trembling in each other’s arms.  

After a moment, Varric moves to lay next to me, and gathers me in his arms, our legs still entangled, my head resting on his arm, and my hand splayed across his chest.  We’re both covered in a sheen of perspiration, and we say nothing as our breathing slowly calms.

Varric is the one to finally break the silence.  “How do you feel?”

“Wonderful,” I say, unable to keep my dreamy happiness out of my voice.

He chuckles above my head.  “Good.  I didn’t hurt you?”

“I’ll probably be a little sore tomorrow, I’m sure but I’m fine.  Honestly, this might sound strange, but I’m even enjoying that bit right now.”  I smile into his shoulder.

He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again.  “The dwarven rogue knew then that he truly had a miracle on his side, for he had somehow managed to steal summer itself, and for one night, he held a firefly in his arms.”

“Telling our story again?” I laugh.  “But what’s this about ‘one night’?”

He reassures me, “I didn’t want to make an assumptions about what you wanted from this.”

“Dear, sweet, Varric,” I say, stroking his chest.  “There are no words that you could use for us that would scare me right now.”

It’s a long while before he says anything else, but then he whispers, “How about ‘forever’?”

I move to lean on my arm and look down at him.  “Remember who you’re talking to - you might want to be careful what you wish for,” I say with a wry smile.

He just smiles, causing me to impulsively kiss him again, before settling back down on his arm.  His free hand curls around mine on his chest, the way it had that morning in the tent.

Curiosity gets the better of me.  “So, I have to ask, the night in the tent, with the octopus…were you awake?”

“Guilty.  There you were snuggling up next to me;  I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”

“I thought so.  You have reflexes like a twitchy cat.  There was no way you slept through that.”

“Of course, it would have been better without Hawke there,” he admits.  “But as I have him to thank for you crawling over to me in the first place, I’ll let it slide.  Are you going to stay here tonight?” he asks.

“I’m too exhausted to move right now if I wanted to,” I joke, and get a squeeze for my efforts.

“Good.  Oh, I’ve gotta know, what word would _you_ use to describe us?”

“How about ‘happy’?”

“Eh, it’s simple.  I guess it’s good for your first try,” he teases.

“Hey, not all of us are famous authors.  I’ll take happy.”

He exhales a breath of amusement.  “Yeah, me too.”  He kisses my head one more time.  “Me too,” he repeats.


	30. Waking Up Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still NSFW for part of the chapter. If you want to skip that part, go past the ***

Chapter Thirty: Waking Up Together

 

I awaken slowly, surrounded by warmth.  There’s a strange sensation, and it takes me a moment to recognize that it’s Varric’s hand moving on my side, dragging his fingers downward to stroke my hip.  We’re lying together, his chest against my back.  I sigh in contentment, “Mmn hello, Varric.”

“Awake now, are you?” he asks, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Well, it is the first time I finally felt warm since I got to Skyhold,” I answer with a small chuckle.

His hand slides over my stomach and rib cage and I shiver in enjoyment, liquid heat spreading to my core.  I turn toward him to give him an easier reach, and look back at him.  “But maybe not warm enough,” I mutter and he takes the cue to kiss me.

He smiles at me when he ends the kiss, and I feel his hand slide up to caress the side of my breast.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to again, after last night,” he tells me.

In response, I place my hand over his and guide it to cover my breast.  He groans low in my ear, and moves his hips closer to mine.  I can feel his erection against me, and I know just how much he wants me too.

“It’s just sore muscles, nothing a healing spell can’t handle.  I may not be an expert, but I can do that much.”

“In that case...” he mutters, and his hand travels somewhere far more interesting.  

I lift my leg and drape it over his, allowing him to touch me.  He strokes the sensitive nub and I close my eyes, letting my head fall back on the pillow, no longer trying to twist to look at him.  I make tiny moans as he focuses his attention on me.

Arching my back, I push my hip closer to him, and turn back to look at him.  “I want  _ you _ , Varric,” I mumble, “please.”

“How could I ignore such a polite request?” he grins, and moves away from me a little, pulling me into a better position and angling his hips.  He puts his hand under my raised leg, lifting it a little higher, and I feel the rubbery head of his cock sliding against me.  I reach a hand down to guide him and groan as he finds entry.  Slowly, as before, he thrusts gently in, impaling me a bit at a time, until nearly his entire length is buried inside me.  

“Firefly,” he mutters, and I try to move my hips.  It’s not easy from this position, but I’m happy when he inhales sharply.  I do it again, keeping eye contact with him.  The sounds of our breathing are all that can be heard for a few minutes as we enjoy the feeling of being connected.

“I want...I want you on your knees,” he tells me with shaky breaths, pulling out of me.  I quickly move to comply, rolling over and raising to my hands and knees.  With a hand on my back, he pushes my torso down onto the bed.  I turn to the side to be able to still watch him.  I feel him move behind me and he again enters me.  I cry out in satisfaction.

“Please, yes,” I implore, “oh stars, take me, Varric.”

Gripping my hips hard, he thrusts over and over again into my sensitive flesh.  I lose track of how many times I’ve reached my own climax, especially after he leans over my back and reaches between my legs again to touch me just above where our bodies are joined.  I moan his name one last time as I feel his rhythm change, and the throbbing pressure as his seed pours deeply into me.

*            *            *

After it’s over, I lay next to him, head resting on his chest.  I link my hand with his, intertwining our fingers.

“I think I could use one of your healing spells after that,” he says, breathing heavy.

“Dwarves are a little difficult where magic is concerned, but I can try if you like.”

“Nah, I was only joking.  What was it you said, you liked the feeling?  I think I do too.  But, I have to ask,” he says, his finger tracing the faint lines of the new scar on my back.  “I saw this earlier.  What is it from?”

“Snowy wyvern venom.  Recent souvenir from my latest mission with the Inquisition.”

He sits up suddenly, causing me to move away from him, and looks down at me with a concerned expression.  “I thought you were a god; what are you doing getting injured?”

“I said I don’t  _ age _ , Varric.  I never said I can’t get hurt.  I have a lot of magic under my control, so I’m harder to hit than most people, but as usual, I was doing something impulsive,” I laugh.

He doesn’t.  I sit up, as well.

“I’m  _ fine _ .  Believe it or not, of all people, Solas was there to heal me.  Never thought I’d thank him for anything, but I feel like we’re on slightly better terms after all that.”

“I don’t know what to do with this feeling.  I don’t like the idea of you being hurt.”

“I’m not exactly fond of that idea either, but there are dangers every day with what we do here.  I’m better equipped than most to handle it.  You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I tease, and his lips finally turn upward in a smile.  “But it’s nice to have someone to worry about me.”

“Hopefully we’re on the same mission this time.”

“I hadn’t even thought about that.  I don’t want to be away from you again so soon, either.”

He hugs me.  “There’s something else we should probably talk about.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, I know it’s been a while for you, but with what you and I have been up to, there’s always a risk of a child.”

“Oh, no, I started taking herbs a couple of weeks ago.  That shouldn’t happen.”

He sighs in relief.  “That would be all I need right now, to have to leave you here and there turns out to be something like that.  Sorry, that didn’t come out right.  It’s not that I wouldn’t want to, maybe...someday.”

“No, I agree, the timing would be awful.”

“Wait, two weeks.   _ Two weeks? _  How long have you been planning all this, exactly?” he asks, disbelief written in his raised eyebrows.

I blush.  “I...my emotions came back the day after our teams separated.  I remembered your words - which is unusual for me, you know.  Normally I’m numb to everything when I’m like that, but you were able to get through to me anyway.  I realized you were telling the truth...about everything, including wanting to be with me.  I wish I’d given you the chance earlier.”

“We have time now. That’s all that matters.”

“Oh stars,” I say, looking at the light coming in the window.   _ “Time.” _

“Yeah, I’m surprised no one has been knocking on the door yet.  Or maybe they tried, and we didn’t hear them.”

I flush at his words, and stand up, collecting my discarded clothing.  “I need to get going.  I’ve been helping teach the mages in the mornings, but I’m probably already too late for that.  Fiona is going to be furious.”

“It’s one day, they’ll get by without you,” he reassures me.  “Next time, I’ll be sure to wake you up earlier.”  The last is said with a suggestive tone.

“Next time…” I repeat, and turn back to grin at him.

“You’d better get dressed, you little temptress, or you’ll be even later getting out of here.”

I laugh, and dress in a hurry, not bothering to tighten my stays that much, knowing I’ll be changing again once I reach my room anyway.  After slipping my shoes back on, I go to look in his mirror.  My hair is an absolute mess.  I run my fingers through it a few times, but the curls aren’t taming much.  My face is flushed, and my lips are a deeper red than usual, slightly swollen from his kisses.  There’s no way someone looking at me wouldn’t be able to tell what I’d doing last night.

Varric appears in the mirror behind me.  He’s donned his trousers again, but remains shirtless, and walking closer, he places his hands on my waist.  Our eyes meet in our reflection.  He kisses my hair again, but when he looks back to the mirror, he sees my pendant glowing.

“Talk about bad timing,” he mutters.  “I’m guessing your brother wants to talk.”

“Yes, but I can’t tell which one.  I’ll have to wait and answer when I’m alone again.”

“Alright.  Your room tonight, then?” he asks.

I turn around and kiss him.  “I’ll be waiting.”

Ducking out the door, I’m grateful when I neither see nor hear anyone in the hallway.  It appears that everyone has gone back to their normal daily duties.  I even luck out and Solas isn’t in his room when I pass by.  There are a few people milling around in the great hall, but no one seems to pay attention to me and I’m able to make it back to my room without being stopped by anyone.  I close the door behind me with a sigh of relief.


	31. Setting the Pieces

Chapter Thirty-One: Setting the Pieces

 

I hastily clean up and change my clothes.  Putting on armor feels strange after the intentional femininity of the day before, but I wear the set in shades of pink again, hoping it balances it out.  I cast my healing spell, and my features relax a little as I see in the mirror that my kiss-bruised lips are returning to normal.  I hadn’t relished explaining  _ that  _ to either brother.  I brush and braid my hair into two simple plaits, one on either side of my head, ignoring the unruly curls that always escape.

Sitting on the bed, finally feeling presentable again, I open the pendant and allow the magic to connect.  I’m glad I took the extra time today, as it’s Etiam’s face that appears in the blue glow from the water.

“Why did you not answer?” he questions.

“I could ask the same of you. I’ve been trying to contact you for days, Etiam.”

“I’ve been doing as you asked and trying to delay Lucis.  He discovered quickly that you were both gone, and convincing him to stay has not been easy.”

I feel guilt about leaving Etiam to deal with Lucis.  “The time has been productive, brother.  I helped a nesting dragon have a safe place to lay her eggs.  The Inquisition now trusts me, and consults with me about dragon-related matters.”   _ Keep the conversation away from what Tenebris learned. _  I look at Etiam, and the question enters my mind: could he be the one helping Corypheus?  I have a hard time imagining any of my brothers assisting one of the magisters of old.   _ Maybe Tenebris was wrong, or maybe Mythal or someone else has a hand in this. _

“I am pleased you were able to convince them, Sister, but Lucis...has not been well.  The generals speak of his restlessness.  If you choose to remain among the mortals, he will insist upon coming there, and I will not be able to stop him.”

_ Shit, Lucis showing up here would not be good. _  “Maybe it would help if I return home for a visit.”

“You should come home for good; but I have said my piece on that, and you have chosen to ignore the level of risk.”

The thought hits me, feeling like a punch in the chest.  I’d always assumed I would be going back home once I saved the dragons and convinced the Inquisition to stop hunting them.  Now, Varric and his kisses are all I can think about.   _ I want to stay with him, I don’t want to go home.  But Etiam’s right, Lucis will eventually come to bring me back, whether I like it or not. _

“Thank you for warning me, but I can’t leave yet.”

“I expected you would say that,” he admits.

“I need to be going.  I’m already late to meet with someone.”   _ I want to ask him about the Wardens summoning demons.  He would probably give some good advice about it, but I don’t know who to trust anymore.  I hate this feeling. _

“Be careful, sister.  I will keep him here if I can, but I cannot make you any promises.”

The connection ends.

_ I need to hurry.  Maybe if I can show Lucis that I’m successful here, he will allow me to stay. _  Even as the thought passes through my mind, I know it to be a false hope.  Tenebris saw the danger inherent in the red lyrium, but Lucis detached from this world a long time ago.  He won’t care that it’s dying.  I do miss Etiam and Lucis.  Being here has helped me understand the importance of other connections, but it had been just us four and the generals for centuries.  I’m still not used to life without them.

_ I’m not leaving.  Not without a fight. _  The small promise to myself makes me feel better.  I straighten up my room, knowing there probably won’t be time later today before Varric comes over.  I smile, thinking about it, and head out the door.

I don’t make it to Fiona, getting waylaid by Cassandra first.  “Where have you been?  No, don’t answer that, I can guess.  Just hurry.  The Commander has been looking for you.”

*             *             *

Cassandra and I enter the War Room.  I’ve never been in here before; it always seemed like some kind of insider Inquisition club where I wouldn’t be welcome.  Cullen is there, next to Josephine, who already looks anxious seeing me, and Leliana, who gives me a blank stare.  Declan enters behind me, and gives me a warm smile.

“Oh good, Seeker, you found her,” Cullen says.

Leliana looks at me, “Yes, happy to see you up and about finally.”  Her tone is carefully neutral, but I blush anyway.  Given what Dorian has told me about Leliana, I’m fairly certain Cassandra isn’t the only one who figured out where I spent last night.

“Let us get started, shall we?” Josephine suggests.

“Right,” Cullen replies.  “Our operations in the Hissing Wastes have been halted due to the appearance of a dragon.  We can’t get into the temple as it seems to be guarding the place.  Frederic has identified it as a fire type, but he doesn’t know much else.  Here is the sketch from our agents.”

I look at it.  “Oh, she’s massive...he’s right about it being a fire type.  I’m not surprised he didn’t know it; that’s a Sandy Howler.  They’re quite rare.”  I sigh, looking at it.

“What’s wrong, Ferox?” Declan asks, noticing my expression.  

“Fire dragons are nastier, more difficult.  They take a lot out of me, and this one looks to be an Elder.  It won’t be easy.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Declan says.

“No, I’ll do it,”  I state.  “That’s an Elder dragon that has the potential to live to become an Ancient, giving birth to new magic in the world.  I’m not letting anything happen to her if I can help it.”

“We are sending two teams this time,” Leliana interjects.  “There is an installment of Venatori digging in an area near the temple again.  We need to know what they’re after.  I’ve already sent some of my scouts ahead.  Inquisitor, Dorian was quite helpful in identifying the Tevinter artifacts last time.  Might I suggest bringing him along?”

Declan nods.  “Dorian would be a good asset.”

“And Ferox, your team will be handling the dragon, of course,” Josephine says.  “Cassandra will lead, as before.  Frederic of Serault has been most insistent about observing your technique in person, and will be accompanying you, for scientific study.  But, we have another problem.  Empress Celene’s party is quickly approaching.  The Inquisition must make an appearance.  Inquisitor, we need you there.”

“And we shall attend.  We will stop at the party and continue on after,” Declan decides.  “I’m sure one of the nobles will be nice enough to let us store our provisions?”

“I will arrange it,” Josephine nods, taking notes.

“We must prevent the future you saw, Inquisitor, at any cost,” Leliana adds.

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

Declan looks at me.  “That’s right, you joined the Inquisition after it happened.  It’s a rather involved story.  The short of it is, I got sent forward in time, and saw what happens if we fail.  But don’t worry, we’re already taking action against the two main events that were the catalysts.”

“That seems like the ‘overly simplified’ version.”

“I’ll tell you the details on the road, when we have more time.  We’ll prepare to leave in the morning,” Declan announces.  “That should give us plenty of time to get to whichever supporter ends up housing our belongings, and present ourselves at the ball.  Ferox, of course you are invited to the party at the Winter Palace, too.”

Josephine studies her agenda carefully, avoiding either looking at me, or speaking to me.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I question.  “You saw how I acted at dinner.”

“I doubt the nobles are going to be talking about dragon hunting.  You’ll be fine.  That’s the only time you really lose your temper.”

_ I forget how observant he really is.  Declan really is  perfect as  Inquisitor.  His unassuming nature keeps people from putting up their guard, and he’s able to get more out of them. _

“Thanks for the vote of confidence anyway.  Sounds like I’ll be along for the ride, might as well eat the expensive food at the party.”

“You have your assignments,” Declan announces.  “Cassandra, feel free to choose one or two others for your team.  I will be taking Dorian, of course, and Bull won’t want to pass up a chance to fight ‘Vints’.  I believe I will take Cole on this one, and leave the archers to you.  Let me know who you choose.  You are dismissed.”

“Seeker, if I may have a moment of your time?” Cullen asks.   _ Is he really going to ask her to the party?  I wish I could stay and watch. _

I decide to wait, and take a slow walk through the corridor.  Sun beams in through the hole in the wall.   _ They use this room so much, you would have thought they would have either fixed that, or made it a proper window by now _ .  I’ve missed morning training with the mages already.  I’ll need to explain to Fiona, but I can just tell her that Cullen needed me in the War Room.

“Ferox,” a voice calls from behind me.  I turn and look, and see Cassandra walking toward me, an intense expression on her face.  “Did you, or did you not, suggest to Commander Cullen that he invite me to the empress’s party?”

“Sorry, I thought you would like it!” I wince, instantly regretting trying to play matchmaker.

“I...wouldn’t say I don’t like it, I just…”  she trails off.   _ Is she blushing? _

“So you said yes, then?”

“I will allow Varric to be on our team.  This makes us even.  But if you let it distract you, you’ll regret it.”

I beam at her.  “Thank you, Cassandra!”  I have an impulse to hug her, so I do.  She seems put off by it, and I stop, but nothing can contain my happiness right now.

“Go and tell him to prepare, and the Champion as well.”

“Sure thing, Seeker,” I respond.


	32. Good News

Chapter Thirty-two: Good News

 

I walk to Varric’s usual spot, trying not to run in my excitement.  I stop short when I don’t see him there.   _ He’s not still in his room, is he? _ I turn to go that way, instead, receiving a small wave from Solas as I pass.   _ When did we start to be friendly?  _  But, despite my apprehension about the trickster elven god, I wave back anyway.

I knock on his door, but Varric doesn’t answer.   _ Not here either?  Where would he be?  Maybe with Hawke? _  I know Garrett has a room on the upper walkway, and I head that direction.  I’m stopped by Leliana.

“Ferox, you are looking for someone, no?” she asks.

“I’m supposed to tell Varric and Hawke about the mission with Cassandra, but I’ve looked all over the keep, and I can’t seem to find them.”

“That’s because they are at the tavern,” she responds.

“Yeah, that make sense.  Thanks.”  I turn to walk away.

“Wait,” she says, moving closer.  “There is something I believe we should discuss.”

_ I don’t like the sounds of that. _  “What’s that?” I ask.

“I find your behavior most curious.  You won’t tell us the simplest thing about your background, but you put yourself in harm’s way to help Cassandra.  It is not often I cannot discover the answers to questions.”

“What I said was the truth,” I answer.

She narrows her eyes, assessing me.  “If you have nothing to hide, it costs you nothing to be more forthcoming.”

“And I have been, just not with you.”  

The expression on her face is one of surprise, then confusion.   _ So Hawke and Varric haven’t told anyone else about me.  Good to know they can keep a secret. _  She quickly masks her features again.

“The others were rather quick to trust you.”

“I’m not a threat, Leliana.  But poke around all you like if it helps you sleep better.”

She shows a careful smile.  Polite, distant.   _ I hate these kinds of games.  Why can’t people just say things directly? _

“I need to be going,” I say, watching her expression.  She doesn’t stop me again, so I turn and head back down the stair.  Halfway down, I turn back and see Leliana talking with someone.   _ Alistair?   _ He glances down at me and sees me watching them, and nods in acknowledgement.  I turn, and finish descending the stairs to the grassy area below.  I can see the tavern from here.

A cute female dwarf smiles warmly at me as I get closer.

“You’re Dragon Girl, right?”

“Yep, I take it you’ve heard of me.”

“I make it my business to know who to go to when I find things.  I’m Scout Lace Harding,” she says, extending a hand.  I shake it, smiling at her.  I can’t tell which feature of hers I like better, her friendly eyes or adorable freckles.

“Ah, the infamous Harding. I’ve heard of you too.  Declan says nothing but good things.  Like that you would brave the very depths of the Void itself and return to give a detailed report on conditions there.

She laughs.  “That sounds like him.  Speaking of awful places, I hear you’re going to the Hissing Wastes?”

“Yeah, another dragon to deal with.”

“My advice?  Pack warm.  It might be a desert, but it’s definitely not hot there.  And, it’s...empty.  Scouting the place turned out to be really boring.  Thankfully, there were plenty of Venatori, Red Templars and varghests to keep us busy.”

“Varghests, huh?” I asked, my mind already working.   _ I hadn’t known too much about wyverns.  Maybe I should go ask Frederic or Minaeve about varghests, just to be on the safe side. _

“Yeah, rotten buggers.  If they’re able to knock you down, they drag you back to their nest to feed later.  We had to fish a few agents out of a nest not long after we got there,” she tells me.

“Sounds awful.”

“Be careful out there, okay?”

“Do my best,” I answer, nodding in her direction, before opening the door to the Herald’s Rest.

The interior of the bar is more crowded than last time, but still manageable.  

“Well, if it isn’t  _ Dragon Girl _ ,” a low masculine voice says from my side, and I know who it is before I even look.

“You’re back!” I yell, hugging my brother, Tenebris.

“You’ve become quite famous, sister,” he teases, and gestures for me to sit down.

I shake my head.  “I’d love to sit and chat, but I need to find Hawke and Varric.”

“Right,” he says, suddenly not finding things so funny.  “Your new lover is on the second floor, drinking with Hawke and some girl named Maeven?”

“Seriously?!” I ask, suddenly excited.  I run up the stairs and turn to find the three of them at a table with Sera.

“And so then Dragon Girl is like,  _ wha na naaa  _ and starts  _ dancing,  _ right?” Sera says.

“She didn’t!” gasps Maeven, astonished.

“Not this story again,” I complain.  “You need to get out more, Sera.”

“Probably,” she admits.

“But I hadn’t heard this one, yet,” Maeven complained.

“I saved the dragon so she could nest, and Sera killed a snowy wyvern that nearly ate me.  The end.”

Sera groans in disappointment.  “You ruined it, I was just gettin’ to the good parts.”

I feel movement behind me and see that Tenebris has followed me up the stairs.

“Oh, Maeven, this is my brother, Tenebris.  I don’t believe you’ve met yet.  He just got back from Kirkwall.”

“Come, sit,” Hawke says, scooting his stool over.  The table is barely big enough for four, so with the six of us: Varric, Hawke, Sera, Maeven, my brother and I, it’s pretty crowded.  We grab a couple of stools from the next table over, and I end up sandwiched at the end between Varric and Tenebris.  I smile at Varric.  He reaches out to hold my hand.

“Finally got it right this time, yeah?” Sera asks, looking at the two of us.

“You could say that,” I admit, blushing.

“‘Bout time.”

Maeven smiles at us, and I flash a grin in her direction.

“Oh, but the reason I’m here is that I have news from Cassandra.  Varric, Hawke, you’re both going on another dragon mission with me in the Hissing Wastes.”

Varric squeezes my hand, “On the same mission after all.”

“Is that right?” Tenebris asks.  “Declan just signed me on for  _ his _ operation in the Hissing Wastes, so it looks like we’re headed in the same direction.”

“Are you going to the party in Halamshiral, then?”

“Unfortunately.  You know how I hate these affairs.  So tedious.”

“Agreed.  But at least there’s food and dancing,” I remind him.

“Food, anyway,” he concedes.  “I hate dancing.”

I look to Varric.  “You’re going too, right?”

He nods.  “Yeah, I got roped into it.  Something about my connections in the Free Marches.  I’m not a fan of these things either, but at least you’ll be there to make it interesting.  Planning on breaking any tables this time?”

I give him a playful slap on the arm.  “Hey!”

Hawke interjects, “Yeah, that’s not fair, Varric.  She only breaks tables when she’s mad at you.”

“Which is all the time,” Sera comments.

“Not true, I’m quite happy with him at the moment.”  A shared grin between Varric and I.

“And he’d better  _ keep _ you happy if he knows what’s good for him,” Tenebris adds with a chuckle.  Leaning in he whispers to Varric “You’ve only gotten a taste of my sister’s moods.”

“I thought you were backing me up, Tenebris!  I’ll tell them about the time in that cave, when you-”

“I thought I made myself clear, Ferox. I get to pick on you.  It doesn’t go the other way.”

The occupants of the table laugh, including me.  It feels good.  Things have been so tense lately, that just relaxing like this in good company feels nice.

“When did you get back to Skyhold, Maeven?” I ask.

“Just today. We finished up in Crestwood and they sent me back.  I’m headed to the Exalted Plains next.  Should be fun.”

“We just got back from there not too long ago,” I say.  “Annoying demons, but there are far fewer wyverns now, thanks to us.”

“Too right, we did!” Sera shouts.  “We made that place all kinds of safe...well...at least from wyverns, but it still counts!”

“I’m a little sad you won’t be along for this one,” I tell Sera.

“Yeah.  Stupid big swords.”

“Wait, I thought you didn’t like ‘poking the dragons’?”

“Well, I hadn’t seen you do it yet then, had I?  Maybe it  _ is _ good to believe that Dragon Girl is the real deal.”

_ She believes?  Sera, the one who didn’t even like that I was a mage wants to believe?   _ “Thank you, Sera...I…”  I slide off my stool and walk over to hug her.

“Whassat for?” she mumbled, her face a bit pink.

“Just let me hug you,” I insist.

Tenebris laughs.  “Ferox isn’t used to having friends outside the family.  It was just the four of us for a very long time.”  His voice softens and he adds, “Maybe I’m still getting used to it, too.”

“Oh…” I say, remembering, and I let go of Sera.  “I heard from Etiam finally.  He warned me that Lucis will likely be coming soon.”

Tenebris sighs, lowering his head.  “Then our time here is nearly up.”

“What?”  Varric asked, frowning.  “You’re leaving?”

“No, I’m not,” I reassure him, pursing my lips together.  “He’s welcome to try, but I’ve already decided I’m not going anywhere.  Well, I mean, we’re going on the next mission, but you know what I mean.”

Tenebris steps off his own stool, and takes a step toward me.  “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, I am.  We were wrong to cut ourselves off for so long.  We should have come back a long time ago.”  I look at my brother.  “Can you honestly tell me you want to go back to the way things were before we joined the Inquisition?”

He frowned.  “No,” he admits.


	33. Asking the Right Questions

Chapter Thirty-three: Asking the Right Questions

 

I step away from the table.  “I need to go find Fiona.  I was supposed to help earlier today with the mages, and didn’t make it.  She also needs to know that I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“What were you doing with the mages?” Tenebris asks.

“Instructing some of the recruits who needed a little extra help.”

“You were  _ teaching _ , Ferox?” He cocks his head.  “You haven’t done that in forever.” 

_ I know what you’re implying, brother. _  “To be fair, I’ve always been good at teaching magic,” I state.

“We all were,” Tenebris adds reluctantly.  “I suppose if we’re defying Lucis anyway, there’s no benefit in sticking to half-measures.”

“The Inquisition’s mages need to get better if they’re going up against red templars and Corypheus.  Otherwise, we’re just sending them to their death.  I can’t fight the war for them, but I can try to give them a fighting chance, at least.”

“Why do the two of you talk about your brother as though you’re afraid of him?” Hawke asks.

Tenebris sighs.  “He was the eldest.”

“Only by minutes!” I protest.

“Yes, sister, I know,” he says, shaking his head.  “But it made sense to always listen to him, let him guide us.  He was our leader.  When he changed…” he trails off.  “Ferox got the worst of it, being his twin.”

I nod. “He was angry, but I could tell he was holding it in, maybe because we put too much pressure on him to be the leader.  I just wanted so badly to help him after she died.  I would have done anything then to make his pain go away.”

“So we changed too,” Tenebris continues, picking up the story where I ended.  “We pulled away from the world, isolated ourselves, just the family, tried to protect him.  But Ferox is right.  I think we were wrong to stay away so long.”

I muttered, “Lucis loved people, loved teaching.  He loved the world and he turned his back on it.”   _ I did it again, ruined a happy conversation.   _ My shoulders hunch.  “I should get going.  Sorry to bring down the mood.”

“No worries, we enjoy your company,” Hawke says with a grin, then nudges Varric.  “Some of us more than others.”

Varric nods, and gets up to see me off.  “Are we attempting dinner later?”

“Oh stars, another dinner to ruin.”

“I could always bring food to you,” he suggests.

“Could you?  That sounds fantastic!” I remark.

He laughs, leaning in, “It also gives me an excuse to come see you sooner.”

I blush, and smile at him shyly.  “Perfect.”

He gives a small nod and watches me leave.

*             *             *

Fiona is not pleased that I missed today’s lesson, but backs off when I lie and tell her I’m not feeling well, and overslept.   _ Good excuse for skipping dinner, too _ .  She seems to accept this, and understands that I’ve been recruited for a mission.  I feel a bit guilty about the lie when she thanks me for my help with the mages.

I have a little time before dinner, and I decide to go pack my things for the trip.  I didn’t bring a fancy dress, but there is no way I’ll be wearing the ugly uniforms I saw them talking about.   _ I need to slip back home and grab something _ .  I consider trying to talk to Lucis while I’m there, but knowing him, he’d probably try to keep me from leaving.

I twist the ring, and emerge in my closet back home.  I know immediately which dress I want.  I suppose I could just have came back later to get it, and saved myself the trouble of lugging it around, but I don’t want to have to risk leaving in the middle of something important, or being seen, for that matter.  Hawke and Varric might know some of my secrets, but I can’t imagine Commander Cullen or Seeker Cassandra taking too well to my stranger abilities.

There is no sign of Lucis, thankfully, and with another turn of my travel ring I’m back in my room at Skyhold.  I quickly pack my belongings, taking extra care with my special dress.  I can’t wait to see Varric’s expression when he sees me wearing it.

I think back to my statement to him about being happy.  I know new relationships usually feel good in the beginning, but I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt this truly happy.  I smile to myself.

The knock on the door sends me running to open it.  It’s Varric, of course, holding my tray of food.  I set it on the table near the door, but when I look back up, he hasn’t come in.

“What is it?” I ask.

“We’re starting early tomorrow...maybe I should just let you rest.”

I grin.  “After I waited all day to have you to myself?”  I grab hold of the lapels of his jacket and tug forward.  “Get in here, Tethras,” I order.

He gives a tiny bow and grins, following me in and shutting the door.  The food gets forgotten in the mix of laughter and muffled moans that follows.

Afterwards, laying in Varric’s arms, still feeling the rippling aftershocks from our lovemaking, I close my eyes.  “I wish we could just stay here a while.”

“Maybe when this is all over, you and I should go someplace, just the two of us,” he suggests.

“I like that idea, but we don’t have to wait, you know,” I remind him, holding up my hand and wiggling my finger to show him the ring.  “I still have two trips left, but I guess I had better save them for now.”

“How in the Void does that thing work, anyway?  I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Well, you may have seen something similar.  Do you know what an eluvian is?”

“Shit, that was that crazy mirror thing Daisy was working on back in Kirkwall.  What are you doing messing with that kind of dangerous magic?” he asks, horrified.

“Well, the ring isn’t  _ technically  _ an eluvian.  The elves borrowed that magic from the Tevinter gods, but we’ve always been better at it.  It’s safe, I promise - provided I don’t try to travel more than the amount the ring holds.  It holds four trips normally, but I’ve used a couple today.”

“How do you get them back?” he wonders.

“Each day I travel on foot or horseback, even just puttering around Skyhold, recharges one trip.  I’ll be back to four after two days.”

“And what happens if you try to travel a fifth time?”

“The magic gets corrupted if overtaxed, so it’s hard to say what might happen.  It might send me somewhere I didn’t intend, I might get stuck halfway in between, lost forever, or something even worse.  It’s not worth risking it to find out.”

“Right.”  He’s quiet again for a minute.  “There’s a lot about this magic shit I still don’t know.  Never cared to know, if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah, I can’t see you sitting in on one of Fiona’s rather lengthy lessons.” I chuckle.  “But to be fair, what we do is a little different than what other mages do, so you couldn’t possibly have known about it.”

“What  _ we _ do, Firefly?” he teases, implying a different meaning.

“Oh, that.  That’s  _ totally _ magic, without a doubt.”  I lean up to look into his eyes and we share a sweet kiss.

I settle back down, and a thought hits me.  “You know, I guess I really don’t know that much about you, either.  It’s almost feels like you’re two people sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there’s Varric the legend, the confidante, the storyteller.  And then there’s just you, the person.  I wonder how many people know the real Varric.”

He sighs.  “Not many.  The bullshit is easier.”

“Well, for the record, I like the real Varric the best.”  I get a squeeze in response.

“You might be the first.”

“It must be lonely, though, if people only see what you want them to.”

“I suppose it is, but I’ve always had Hawke.  And Bianca - the crossbow, that is.  Shit, now that’s awkward.  I guess I should change the name or something.”

I laugh, a vibrant sound.  “Your  _ crossbow _ isn’t a threat to me, Varric.  The name can stay.  I think it’s cute.”

“You’re not going to try to steal her away from me, are you?  Bianca’s a one-dwarf type.”

“More like the other way around.  Bianca had better keep an eye on you, or I might steal  _ you _ away from  _ her. _ ”  His throaty chuckle sounds under my hand, and I can feel the tension ease out of him.  “But you still managed to dodge my original intent.  I want to know more about you.  The real you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

“Can you narrow it down?  That could take a while.”

“Oh, sure; now you  _ limit _ it.  Okay, how about you tell me something that happened when you were a child?” I propose.

“I’ve got just the story.  So my dad was in the Merchant’s Guild, and as such he would often be called on to visit some of the traveling merchants or even nobles that would come in to negotiate trade deals.  We’d be in these fancy townhouses in Hightown, and you’re never allowed to touch anything, right?  But then there’s Bartrand and I.  Bartrand always had a penchant for getting us in trouble, and that day was no exception.

“We were told to play quietly, and not mess with anything.  Bartrand suggested we play hide and seek.  Sounded reasonable, we’d never been in the house before, there were bound to be plenty of places to hide, and the hunt would be a bit more of a challenge with the new terrain.  But, as it turns out, Bartrand had no plans on the ‘seeking’ part at all.  He said he got distracted, but I think he just wanted to get rid of me.  I must have waited for a half hour or more, giggling to myself at the cleverness of my hiding spot, none the wiser for what he was really doing.

When I finally came out, I learned that Bartrand had managed to find the kitchens, and had gotten into some kind of berry jam.  There were purple smears everywhere.  I think the noblewoman’s face turned about the same shade when she saw what we had done.  Father was furious of course, but I’ll never forget the look on her face.”

I smile, “You must miss your brother.”

“Yeah, he can be an asshole, but he’s the only family I’ve got left.  I’m glad he’s getting better.  Hey, maybe that’s where we’ll go; I could show you Kirkwall.  It’s not as bad as its reputation, I promise.  Well, okay, parts of it are, but only the fun parts.”

I laugh again.  “I’ve seen Kirkwall before, but I’d love to see it through your eyes.  That was a great story, thanks.”

“Your turn.  Tell me something about you.  Something about magic.”

“You sure you want to know more magic stuff right now?  The last thing I mentioned kind of freaked you out.”

“No, I want to know.  Good or bad.”  The tension is back.

“Okay, so let’s start with something small.”  I reach over and grab my pendant from the nightstand where I had placed it.  “You know how my pendant glows?  It’s because of the small amount of magical water inside.  Back where I’m from, we have a place called the Watcher’s Well.  It’s full of this enchanted water, which allows us to watch the world of mortals.  The pendant’s power is limited to sending my image to someone else who is watching, and seeing theirs.  It’s how my brothers and I can communicate over long distances.”

“That’s pretty useful.  But what did you mean about ‘watching the world of mortals’?  You can spy on people?”

“Kind of.  The Well shows you what’s going on right now, but you mostly only get things that are happening outdoors.  It tends to focus on important events that change the course of the future.  It’s how I know about Hawke, and in part, about Alistair and his role in stopping the Fifth Blight.  After Lucis changed, I was really the only one still watching.  It’s even what led me here.  When I saw the Inquisition baiting high dragons, I knew I had to come.”

“I’m just glad to know that one of your brothers isn’t watching us right now.”

“Oh no, I’m shielding us; they can’t see what I’m up to.  That’s why one or both of them will end up eventually showing up in person.”

“But you’re really not leaving?” he asks.

“Why, are you saying you want me to?” I tease.

“Never,” he whispers quietly, and I smile.  

“Good.  I don’t want to go anywhere, either.  There is one other thing you should know, though.  It’s something that might affect our upcoming mission.”  
“Is this about your brother?”

“No, this time it’s me.  Fire dragons are more difficult for me to work with.  I’m pretty sure I can still handle it, but there’s a chance something might go wrong.”

“You’re worrying me.  What aren’t you saying?”

“I...when I talk to dragons, I tap into something inside of me.  I  _ become _ the element.  The storm is my natural element, so it’s the most comfortable.  Cold, well, you’ve seen what the cold does to me.  I go numb, emotionless for a while.  Fire is different, kind of the opposite.  When I embrace the fire, my emotions are heightened.  There’s also a risk it can take over.  If that happens, I need you to get my brother.  Whatever you do, don’t get too close to me.”

“Why?”   


“Because it won’t be safe to touch me.  I...there’s a ritual I did many years ago.  I did it with the intent to help, but as a result, my fire magic sometimes becomes too dangerous.”

“Then why are you doing this at all?”

“To save the world.  It’s what heroes do, right?”

“Screw being a hero.  Heroes get hurt, and you should stay safe.”

“Thanks,” I say, and hug him, “but this is why I’m here.  I won’t abandon the dragons.  They must live in order for us all to live.”

“You really believe that, don’t you?”

“It’s the truth, Varric.  If magic dies, then all life here would die with it.  Dragons help keep magic alive.  They’re worth preserving.”

“If you say so.  How am I supposed to get your brother, though, isn’t he going on the other team?”

“I’ll give you my ring before I approach the Sandy Howler.  If it comes to it, fetch my brother from Declan’s party.  Just think of him and his approximate location in your mind, twist the ring, and it will take you there.  Promise me, if I lose myself, you won’t try to help, you’ll just go get Tenebris.  He’ll be able to help me.  Please.”

“Okay, Firefly, I promise.”


	34. Pillow Talk

Chapter 34: Pillow Talk

 

I pull myself away from Varric, sighing at the loss of contact already, and throw on my dressing robe.  After taking my evening dose of herbs I bring the tray of dinner, long since cold, over to the bed.  He eyes it and makes an apologetic shrug.  “It was hot when I brought it.”

“Ah, but you’ve yet to learn the benefits of living with a mage of my particular talents.” I balance the tray on one hand and channel heat through the other.  I’m careful not to add any actual flame, just heat.  I hover it over each of the plates for a few minutes.  “Dinner in bed?” I ask.

“Useful,” he comments, shaking his head in disbelief as he takes his plate.  Grabbing my own, I place the tray on the nightstand.

We eat together, sitting on my bed, and I devour my food within minutes.   _I needed something after my “activities” today_.  The roasted meat and vegetables never tasted better.  It’s not long before he’s finished as well, and the plates are stacked on top of the tray.

“So,” I broach, “are you ever going to ask me?”

“You lost me.  I assume you’re referring to something specific,” he replies, looking a bit confused.

“Well, I guess someone else has already asked me to the party at the Winter Palace, but I’ve been holding out for a certain dwarf.”

“Who asked?” he questions, and I regret mentioning it.

“Cullen,” I admit with a feeling of chagrin, and hurry to add, “but I let him know I was seeing someone.”

“Seriously,” he sighs quietly.

“You’re the only one I _want_ to go with, but you’re not going to ask me?”

“I thought it was obvious.  Of course I want to go with you, Firefly.  We’re together now, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” I answer without hesitation, and he smiles.

He gets out of bed, still undressed, and kneels on the floor on my side of the bed, one hand over his heart.  I try to keep from laughing at the sight of a naked dwarf in such a pose.

“My dearest lady, would you do me the great honor of allowing me to escort you to the empress’s gala?”

“Well, I don’t know...I _was_ planning on staying home that day…” I struggle to keep a straight face.

His eyebrows raise.  “Oh really?  Even if I do this?”  He kisses my exposed calf, his eyes remaining on me as he does so.

I swallow hard, but manage to keep my composure.  “I think I might need more convincing,” I comment. I can’t hold my humor back any longer, an unbidden giggle escaping me.

“Oh, well, I’m nothing if not persuasive.” His hand creeps upward from my calf to my thigh, and I exhale a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.

“Okay, you win, I’ll go,” I gush out.

“Giving in already?  I was just getting started,” he chuckles.  I lean down and kiss him, my fingers sliding into his hair.

Sitting back up, I move over in the bed and make room for him, patting the now empty space beside me.  “You’ll stay the night, right?”

“On what is probably our last night with a bed before we get there?  There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” he answers.

I prop myself up against the pillows and the headboard and open my arms, inviting him to join me.  He crawls underneath the covers and rests his head on my chest.  I stroke his hair, tucking it behind his ear.

“Have I mentioned I like your earrings?” I ask.

“No, but feel free to go on and tell me what else you like about me.”

I laugh, but decide to humor him.  “Well, there’s your chest hair, obviously,”

“Obviously,” he repeats.

“I like that you’re good to your friends, that you support them even when you don’t understand or believe everything that’s going on.  I like that you’re not afraid to laugh, even in the dark times, but, at least when you’re with me, you can be sincere.”

“Okay, stop, I’m blushing,” he jokes.

“Well, I’m still getting to know you better, but that’s what I like so far.  That and the amazing sex.”

He laughs, a deep rumble.  Afterwards I run my fingers through his hair again.

“Well, what do you like about me?” I ask.

“I like your crazy ideas.  Racing in the middle of the night,” he chuckles thinking about it.  “I like how you always look up to see the sky, and dream of flying.  I admire your bravery, and how you live life completely, like there’s something you’d miss if you held back.”

“But there is...I would have missed out on _you_.  I’m really glad I met you, Varric.”

“Same here, Ferox.”

I kiss the top of his head.

“We probably should rest early...just in case you feel like waking me up in the night,” I suggest with a giggle.

“Sounds like a plan,” he responds, and leans over so that I can scoot back down next to him on the pillow.  I fall asleep, wrapped in the warmth of his arms.

He does, in fact, wake me in the middle of the night, much to my delight.  

*             *             *

I stir, and I realize it’s still early.   _Why am I awake?_ I see Varric getting dressed already.  I sit up, pulling the covers up around me.  

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, then smiles.  “Well, this time, anyway.  I wanted to go get my things now, so I wouldn’t be late for the time to meet up.  Nightingale would have my ass.”

“Nightingale?” I ask.

“Leliana, the spymaster.”

“Ah, yes, her.  I forgot she’s going.  I guess we’re going to have quite the entourage this time, since we’re going to meet the empress.”

“Yeah, all three advisors, plus the rest of us going on the actual missions after.  I think that makes...twelve in total?  And I doubt we could go anywhere near an Orlesian party without Vivienne wanting to go.  So better make that thirteen.”

“No, it’s fourteen; you forgot Frederic of Serault.  He’s going for ‘research’.  So there will be tent sharing again,” I comment.

“Less than you would think, because we’re bringing along carts this time, at least as far as Halamshiral.  We can bring more supplies for this part of the journey than we can with the smaller teams on horseback.”

“Ah.  Then I won’t even get to sleep next to you?” I pout.

He fakes a sigh.  “You just want me for my body heat.”

I grin and shrug.  “You caught me.  But seriously, I know we can’t exactly be together in a tent, but still I want to be close to you.”

He smiles and walks back to the bed, leaning over me.  “We’ll figure it out.  I’m not keen on being away from you either.  Every time I leave you alone for two seconds, someone else hits on you.”

“I like it when you’re jealous, but you have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” he replies, “I’ll just feel better when they all know that you’re taken.”

“Thoroughly.  I’m going to be sore today, after last night.”

“Good.  No healing it this time.”

“What?”

“Since we’re going to have to wait, I want you to remember the feeling of my touch.”

“As if I could forget.”  I grin.

“Damn, you’re really tempting with your hair all a mess...but I gotta leave.”  He kisses me, firmly but briefly.  “You should get dressed.  Trust me, Firefly, today is not a day to be late.”

Varric heads out the door and I decide to finally give up the warm bed.   _Time to get on with it._ I decide on a set of armor I haven’t worn yet, in shades of red, with a leather tunic that flares into a pleated overskirt, and a heavy jacket.  It will keep me warm here in the mountains, and the jacket can be removed later for a more mobile set of armor once we hit a warmer climate.

I pull my hair back on the sides, then braid it in one long braid down my back.  Moving around, I feel the soreness in my muscles already, and the mirror shows my lips to be a deeper shade of pink than usual, but Varric’s reasoning for asking me not to heal myself stops me from doing anything about it.  It’s as if we have another secret.   _Will anyone notice?_

I gather my things and head down to the courtyard.  Everyone is loading their packs into the two carts that will be going with us.  I realize that this will probably mean our journey to Halamshiral will take longer as a result, but there’s no helping it.  This gala is undoubtedly a diplomatic move, and we need to make an impression.  Hard to do that weary and dirty from a long journey.

I get the sensation that I’m being watched and turn to look.  I see the spirit boy, Cole, again, looking at me curiously.

“The ashes taste bitter, but the storm is quiet now.  He helps to heal the old hurts, but trust is torn as horror grows.  Chains climbing, binding, bonds of fear and doubt that chafe.  One of them has betrayed me.”

“What’s he talking about?” Garrett asks from next to her.  “Who has betrayed you?”

I say nothing, staring at Cole.   _It’s not his fault.  He’s just picking up on my worry about my brothers._  I sigh.  “There’s nothing I can do about it right now, Cole.”

Cole continues, “Always the friend, never the hero.  Scared to believe, scars not quite healed, still burning, fearing that each touch will be the last, that fate and his failure will blow away the storm in the night.”

I frown.   _That one’s not mine, but I think I can guess who it was about._

“Kid, not now,” Varric reproaches from next to Hawke, his grunt confirming my assumptions.

Cole looks at him.  “Sorry,” he says, backing away.

“Wait,” I call, stopping him.  “Do you know which one it is?  Which one has betrayed me?”

He shakes his head.  “I hear your hurts, not theirs.”

“Thank you, anyway.  I know you’re trying to help.”  I nod, and Cole walks forward to stand next to Declan.

“So are you going to tell me about the betrayal thing?  I can’t help but be curious,” Hawke states.   _It’s good to see him again.  I miss his directness when he’s not around._  

I look around to make sure no one else is listening in.  Tenebris is speaking with Dorian, so he’ll be a minute, and the others are far enough away that I don’t have to worry about being overheard.

“Tenebris believes that Corypheus’s rise to power is about more than him just being a darkspawn or a magister of old.  He believes that he had help.   _Divine_ help.”

“A god?  Someone like your family, you mean?”

“ _Exactly_ like my family, if Tenebris is to believed.  We’re not the only ones capable, of course, but Tenebris has a theory that it might be Etiam or Lucis.  Oh stars, I don’t want to believe it.”

Varric gripped my hand, and I smiled at him.  I thought about what Cole said, that he worries about me leaving, and squeezed his hand back.

“Right,” I say, nodding.  “I’m staying.  We’re in this together, whatever may come.”


	35. Stirring Things Up

Chapter Thirty-Five: Stirring Things Up

 

We mount up and begin the descent down the mountain. The weather, like my mood, is sunny and we make good time despite bringing the wagons with us.  Not long after we leave, however, I see Leliana watching us.

“Don’t look now,” I say to Varric, “but the spymaster is watching.”

As if on cue, she pulls alongside us.  “Varric, may I have a moment?”

He looks to me for confirmation, and I wave him on with a grin.  “Go on, if Hawke’s curiosity is bad, hers has to be practically killing her by now.”

They ride ahead and Cullen falls back next to me.  “Hello Cullen,” I greet him, keeping the smile on my face.

“You do enjoy provoking Leliana, don’t you?” he asks.

I wince at his observation.  “Is it bad that I kind of enjoy seeing her at a loss?”  I chuckle.

“Perhaps it would help if you shared more about your background.  You’re quite the enigma.”

“Then can I share something with you?”

He nods.

“I honestly thought this was just going to be temporary.  I came to stop the Inquisition from hunting dragons, to make them understand the importance of preserving magic...and then I was going to leave.  I never expected to be here this long, or to want to stay.”

He glances up to where Varric and Leliana are riding close together, conversing just as we are.  “I suppose we have Varric to thank for your change of heart?” he questions.

“In part,” I admit, a little embarrassed.  “But I’ve also come to see that the Inquisition is facing a bigger threat than I thought before.  My family removed themselves from most of the world for a long time, staying isolated.  But after coming here and seeing what I’ve seen, I can’t just go back to the way things were and pretend I don’t know what’s happening.”

Cullen smiles.  “Will you tell me more?  About you and your family?”

I sigh.  “Everyone is always so curious, but they never really want the answers once they’ve heard them.  I tried talking to Varric and Hawke about this, but I doubt even they truly believe my story.”

He frowned.  “What do you mean, they don’t believe you?”

I shrug.  “I think they’re still having trouble grasping just how different I really am.  You used to be a templar, right?”

Another nod, his expression still looking worried.

“You grew up around the Chantry, then, and the Circles.”

The frown deepens.

“There are a lot of forms of magic other than those that are taught in the Circles.  Magic can do things that would surprise even the most experienced Circle mage.”

A grunt.  “I...have seen things.  Dark things, involving...blood magic, and demons.”

I looked at him.  That last statement hadn’t been easy for him to get out.  “Oh, Cullen, I didn’t know.  I’m truly sorry for what you must have been through.  Yes, there are those kinds of magic, but there’s more than that, too.  Not all unusual magic is evil, Cullen.  Despite what the Chantry tries to tell everyone, magic is a  _ gift _ .”

“Kirkwall changed a lot for me, made me see that the things I’d never questioned might  _ need _ to be questioned.  And then Declan goes and recruits the mage rebellion instead of the templars, challenging the way things have always been here.  I...I now think things might not be so simple as the Chantry makes it out.”

“Blasphemy, young templar!” I laugh.

“ _ Former _ templar.  But I’ve interrupted.  You were talking about how this relates to your family and what Hawke and Varric didn’t believe.”

“Are you sure you want to hear this?  You’ll probably see me differently afterwards.”

He thinks for a while.  “Are you a blood mage?” he asks bluntly.

“Nothing if not direct, are you Commander?” I ask with a sigh of frustration.  “To answer that question, I do understand the basics of blood magic, but no, I personally don’t practice it.  Not because of any moral objection, but because I don’t need to.  My own mana stores are deeper than normal mages.  I don’t usually need lyrium, nor do I need my own blood or that of others to accomplish what I want.”

“How is that possible?”

“I need to hear you say you want this answer, Cullen.”

“Tell me.”

“I assume you’re familiar with Dorian’s translations of the story of Ferox from ancient Tevinter?”

“I’ve been informed of his research, of course, but what does that have to do with this?”   


“Because it’s not just a story.  I  _ am _ Ferox the Destroyer, and I’ve been alive a very long time.  The people of ancient Tevinter were the ones who first called me a goddess.”

He shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything.

“Everything I said to Leliana about my background is true.  I was born on the Storm Coast, and I traveled a lot with my family, mostly in Tevinter.  Of course, the Tevinter Imperium covered a lot more area back then.  The reason Leliana couldn’t find what she was looking for is because she falsely assumed I was born recently.  She was looking in the wrong  _ time _ , not the wrong place.”

He remains l quiet as he thinks it over.  “We live in the era when the ancient magisters surface once more; I suppose anything is possible. But how am I supposed to know if what you say is true?”

“You don’t have to believe in my power to believe in me as a friend, Cullen.  Think me mad if it helps you.  But I’ve decided to stay and help.”

“Having a god on our side would definitely give me a lot more hope about our chances against Corypheus.”

I look at him.  “You’re actually considering this... _ thank you _ .” I smile widely.  “I didn’t expect you would believe any of what I said.  You surprise me, Cullen.”

“Not that long ago, I would have hated you just for being a mage.  Your abilities...I would have called you a  _ maleficar _ ,” he admits, shame coloring his features.  “But time changes us all, I suppose.”

I notice Cassandra looking in our direction.  “I think the Seeker is wondering what we’re talking about,” I inform him.

“Same with Pavus,” Cullen says, his eyes flicking behind us, and I can’t help but turn and look.  Dorian meets my gaze, and a look of confusion crosses his features.

“You weren’t supposed to look!” Cullen complains in a groaned whisper, and I erupt in laughter.

“I say we let them stew in it a while longer,” I suggest.

“First Leliana, now them,” he clucks.  “Cruel to the last.”  His smirk belies his statement, lacking any real reproach.

I shrug.  “Will you tell the spymaster about me?”

The corners of his lips turn back downward.  “I don’t like the idea of hiding anything from the other advisors.  I’ll have to tell her something, but I don’t see her accepting your story.”

“That is your decision.  I will not force you to keep my secrets.  But you’re right, Leliana is not the type to believe things so easily.  Not anymore, anyway.”

We ride together, pointedly ignoring the curious stares of the others until we stop for lunch a short while later.

Cullen walks over to speak with Seeker Cassandra for a while, and Leliana steals his attention not long after.   _ She’s probably grilling him about our conversation. _ I shake my head, happy to be back next to Varric.

I smile at him, but don’t ask any questions of him.   _ If he told Leliana I won’t be angry with him.  I’ve decided to stay, perhaps it’s better that they all know who I am anyway. _

Dorian walks over to join us.  “Tevinter!” I call out.  “Oh wait, I’ve got my boots on today.  Let me do this right…oh no!” I throw my hands over my face in a dramatic pose.

He grins, and leans over to pull my braid.  I swat his hands away, but don’t bother moving away from him.  

“Since when have you been on such good terms with the Commander?” he asks.

“We became friends while you were off in the Hissing Wastes,” I tell him.  “He was teaching me to play chess again.  I haven’t played in...stars, in  _ centuries _ .”  I exaggerate the last statement, and get the chuckle I was hoping for from Dorian.  Varric is still silent.   _ What  _ had _ happened with the spymaster?   _ I cock my head and give him a questioning look, but he doesn’t respond.

We sit for a few minutes, eating a quick lunch of water and dried meats before mounting back up and continuing on.  I ride next to Varric, feeling the silence growing like a wall between us.

It was good to get to talk to Dorian, even for a minute.  I’m glad that we’ll be traveling together for a while.  He’s been an interesting friend, but so far, we’ve seemed to always be going in opposite directions.

I look ahead and see him conversing with Tenebris.  No, scratch that,  _ flirting _ with Tenebris.  I watch my brother’s posture and expressions to get a sense of whether he’s receptive or not, but he’s remaining quite controlled.  I’ll have to ask him later.

*             *             *

At dusk, we finally stop again and make camp for the night.  I see Declan talking with Frederic, and head over to where they are standing.

“I’m happy to catch both of you together. I have a few questions.”

“Of course, I always welcome an academic discussion with another dragon expert,” Frederic states, nodding in my direction.

Declan just smiles, and waits for me to speak.

“I was hoping to ask you about varghests.  I’m afraid my own knowledge is a bit limited where they are concerned, and I don’t want to be caught off guard like I was with the snowy wyvern.”

“Sorry, I heard about that, and I meant to ask you about it,” Declan states.  “Are you alright?”

“I have a new scar, but otherwise I’m fine,” I assure him.

“Varghests, yes, I have written about them.  They are large beasts, not nearly as large as dragons, though they are in the same family.  They have large scales that are quite tough.  Good material for armor, I understand, but it makes their hide nearly impenetrable.”

“Any weird variations, like the snowy wyvern was?”

“Not to my knowledge, no, although they do vary in size.”

“I know they carry off their victims to eat later,” I mention, remembering what Scout Harding had told me.

“They do, indeed!  There’s a local legend about it, if you would like to hear it.”

“I love stories,” I comment, nodding my agreement.

“I’ll admit to being curious, myself,” Declan admits.

“The legend says that varghests were servants of the gods.  That they would stalk those who had wronged their kind and carry the perpetrators to meet their makers.  They were thought to be spirits, and feared; but as we know, we’ve later discovered they are simply creatures with interesting hunting habits.”

_ Varghests as servants of gods?  Which ones?  We never used varghests, and neither did the Evanuris. _

“Are we telling god stories again?” Dorian asks, joining us.  My brother is with him.  “I have one, if that’s the case.”

Delcan nods.  “I’ll bet everyone will probably want to hear this.  Why don’t we gather around the fire?”

“I shall spread the word, then,” Dorian says with a flourished bow, and he goes back to the others, leaving my brother standing next to me.   _ Tenebris and Dorian are still around each other?  Interesting.   _ I give him a questioning look, but he shrugs almost imperceptibly.  I spare a moment to wonder where Hawke has gone, then realize he’s probably with Varric.  I sigh.  _  I need to talk to Varric, sort out what’s going on with him, but if anyone can talk some sense into him, it’s Hawke. _

“You said you had questions for both of us, Ferox,” Declan asserts.  “What did you want to ask me?”

“I was hoping to hear more about Corypheus’s dragon.  I know it’s probably not something you want to think about, but you had the closest contact with it.  Maybe some of the details will help Tenebris and I figure out how to stop it.”  I look to my brother again, who nods.

He looks away, frowning.  “Alright.  If you think it will help,” he states.  “Frederic, you can stay for this too.  I don’t know if there’s anything in your dragon knowledge that can help, but maybe with the three of you together, you can figure something out.”

He stares at a fixed point on the ground as he begins to speak.  “I stayed behind in Haven to stall Corypheus, to try to give the others time to get to safety in the mountain pass,” he says.  “I had a little luck using the trebuchets but then his dragon was spotted in the sky.  It sent fireballs crashing down, setting the place ablaze.  Corypheus walked through the fires, seemingly unhurt.”

“The dragon, what did it look like?” I ask.

“It was...dark, the very skin grayed and marked with holes.”

Tenebris speaks up.  “That still matches a dragon affected by the Blight.”

“Yes,” Frederic agrees.  “Dragons, especially the older ones are known to have a natural resistance to the Blight.  The holes you see are their own flesh forming cysts around the corruption and rejecting it.”

Declan continues, “It had protrusions of what looked like bone jutting from its neck, and its head was...I don’t know how to describe it.  It was as though the skin was too tight, clinging to its skull, and not being successful at covering it all.  It’s wings were tattered, but still managed to keep it in the sky.  It followed every command that Corypheus gave.”

I think about it for a while longer.  “We know the Blight is connected somehow,” I say.  “But that was never an ancient dragon.  Ancients, corrupted or not, don’t bow to magisters.”   _ They bow to us, or, once they are lost to the Blight, no one at all. _

“It has to be red lyrium,” Tenebris concludes.  “Corypheus must have used it to speed the corruption.  It’s the only thing that tracks.”

_ The horror that dragon must have been through.  I understand, more so than probably anyone in existence, given what I went through with the ritual so long ago.   _ I put a hand to my chest, remembering.   _ It’s still worth it, though, even though my fire magic was affected.  I would do it over again, if I had to. _

“Red lyrium  _ and _ the Blight...that sounds like the stuff of nightmares,” Declan comments, interrupting my reverie.

“You’re not wrong,” I admit.  “And if it’s infected with red lyrium...our known methods will not have an effect quickly enough.  If it was just Blighted, we might have been able to help cleanse it, weaken it.  But the red stuff is just so different.”

“Leliana says Celine has an arcane advisor that might know more about all this.  Perhaps we can speak with her at the ball, and convince her to help us,” Declan suggests.

“Arcane advisor, huh?” I ask, suddenly hopeful.  “A  _ magic _ expert?  Ten crowns says Tenebris and I are better.”

Declan laughs.  “I’m still not betting against you, Ferox, but I hope for our sake that this person, whoever they are, knows something that can help us.”

I nod, seeing the wisdom in what he’s saying.  “I’m okay being wrong every now and then.”

“Since when?” Tenebris asks, and the two of them enjoy a laugh at my expense.

I merely shake my head.  “Dorian’s probably gathered everyone by now, we should go join them and hear what he has to say.”


	36. Clarifications

Chapter Thirty-Six: Clarifications

 

We return to the fire pit.  Everyone has taken a seat in a circle and Dorian now has quite the audience for his tale.  I end up sitting in between Tenebris and Iron Bull.  With two such tall figures next to me, I feel my smallish stature more than usual, but I have a feeling I know what Dorian is about to say, and I want my brother close.

“So Dorian,” Declan starts.  “You’ve translated more of the ancient Tevinter artifacts?”

“Yes, Inquisitor, and I must say, I’m finding them to be a  _ most fascinating _ read.  Ferox and her family...the goddess Ferox, that is,” he pauses, looking at me and Tenebris, “are turning out to be quite the characters.”

“Oh?  Do tell,” Josephine comments, leaning forward.   _ Great.  More questions will be coming, I just know it.   _ I look at Varric, sad that we’re not sitting together.  He looks up and meets my eyes.  I smile at him, and he gives one back, but a small muscle near his cheek twitches, giving away his tension.   _ Later _ , I promise myself.   _ I’ll corner that damned dwarf and find out what happened. _

“Yes, I missed the actual telling last time, but I’m eager to hear more about this  Destroyer,” Cullen adds, and I look in his direction.  The corner of one lip turns upward.  

Dorian grins, “Well, then you’ll be disappointed.  The next section wasn’t about her, it’s about one of the other gods.”

“Which one?” Hawke asks.

“I saw another familiar name - Tenebris,” he says, his eyes flicking to my brother, then back to me.  “Am I going to find more names I know, Ferox?”

“Probably.  If the artifacts mention Ferox and Tenebris, I’m sure the others are there too.  My other two brothers are named Etiam and Lucis.”

“Your family was consistent, at least.  You know, those words all have meanings in ancient Tevene.  Ferox, for example, means ‘wild’.  Kind of appropriate, given the description, wouldn’t you say?”

“What do the artifacts say about the ancient Tenebris?” Declan asks.

“The text refers to him as the Darkness - which, by the way is what the name Tenebris translates to - and it says he was the youngest of four gods.  After that, it seems to contradict itself.  Some of the passages describe him as a phantom, something the people discussed in hushed whispers to avoid calling his attention.  Others praise him for helping the people, teaching them the gift of magic.  But not just regular magic,  _ blood  _ magic.  The last section I read suggested he may have also raised the dead.”

“Necromancy and blood magic?  No wonder he was feared,” Leliana comments.  Cullen cuts me a look, his eyes narrowing.  I try to keep my features steady.

“These artifacts predate the Chantry, correct?” Cassandra questions, her voice cutting across the way.

Dorian nods.

“Then it was before the Chantry forbade the use of blood magic and established the Circles,” Hawke adds.  “They wouldn’t technically be _malefecarum_ at that time.”

Vivienne makes a sound of derision.

Tenebris smiles, “Understanding the darker arts also helps to protect against them, to create a better strategy for defense against those who seek to do harm.”   _ Our tagline with these people.   _ I pat his leg in support.

We eat our dinner, another meal of dried meat and fruits.  I sigh, missing the food at Declan’s table at Skyhold.  They could keep the wine, of course, but his taste in food had always been excellent.

Afterwards, I leave my brother and walk a bit around camp.  I see Leliana setting up her small cage of ravens outside what is clearly to be her tent.  I walk over, looking at them, their soft black feathers reflecting the firelight.  

“Hello Ferox,” Leliana greets, polite as always.  “Do you like birds?”

“I’ve always loved them.  I envy them, in a way, their freedom.”

“You don’t feel free?” she asks.

“Not like they do.  Haven’t you ever wondered what it must be like to fly, to soar through the sky with wings of your own, looking down on the world?  That would truly be free.”

She surprises me by smiling.   _ Have I finally done something right with her?   _ “I think I understand now.  How you got the others to trust you.”

_ Ouch, that stings. _  “And you’re so reluctant to let people in.  It must be lonely, to see a world full of potential threats instead of just potential.”

She frowns at my words, not bothering to hide her expression this time.

“Goodnight, Leliana.  Pleasant dreams.”  I walk away from her, intent now on finding Varric.  I hope with the way that he’s been acting today that he’s still willing to share a tent with me tonight.  I know he said we’d figure it out, but we haven’t really spoken much since his talk with Leliana.

I see Hawke sitting with Dorian and Tenebris.  Hawke sees my expression on the way over to him, and grins.  “His tent is the fourth one down on the right.”  

“Thanks. You always seem to get it, Hawke.”  I immediately feel better.  Tenebris rolls his eyes.

I find the tent, and the flap is already closed.  I approach the front of it, listening for sounds from inside that might indicate if he’s inside already, but don’t hear any right away.  “Varric?” I call softly.

The flap opens and he holds it for me to duck inside.  I see that there are two bedrolls inside, but only one has been unrolled, already telling me a bit about his thoughts.  

I sit on the the open one, and pat the spot next to me.  “Please talk to me about whatever this is, Varric.  Have I done something?”

He sighs, and sits, leaving a little distance between us.  “Nightingale pointed something out to me, something I hadn’t thought of before.”

“Ah.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me too much...but I’m listening.”

“She called me ‘the weak link in the Inquisition’.  I’m not normally one to let my emotions get in the way of doing what I need to, but she made me realize I might have been blind to things.”

“Blind to what, exactly?” I ask, worried about what he’s going to say.

“She pointed out that you’ve gotten close with the others in the Inquisition, too.  That maybe I didn’t see things clearly.”

I feel like he just punched me.  I clench my fists, and scowl at him, trying to calm my reaction to this.  I take a deep breath.  “I’m going to ignore, for a minute, what you must think about me to say something like that, because I think I know what this is really about.”

His eyes raise to my face, and he exhales.  “And what’s that?”

“Cole was right earlier.  You don’t think you’re good enough.”

He frowns, but I keep going.

“It  _ can’t be possible _ that I care about you, no, I must be interested because of your  _ position in the Inquisition _ . Damn it, Varric, have I ever asked you for Inquisition secrets?  Have I not put my own safety on the line to try to help?”

His forehead wrinkles, and a muscle in his jaw ticks.   _ Guilt?  Good. _

“Leliana’s just frustrated that she can’t figure me out.  Of _course_ she can’t find my background, when she’s only looking twenty or thirty years ago!  I’m _way_ older than that.  And if anything, I only stayed with the Inquisition _because_ _of you_ \- taking a serious risk of hurting my family to do so, mind you - and now you want to be an idiot about it.  I never wanted you for your position or influence...I just wanted _you_.”  A single tear finds its way out my eye unbidden.  I furiously swipe it away and steel my nerves.  “You know, I think I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”  I stand up and move toward the flap of the tent.

He gets up.  “Wait.  Please, Ferox.”

The word ‘please’ makes me stop, and I turn back to look at him.

“You’re right...about all of it.  This was about me, not you.  Shit, I always seem to mess this up...will you stay?”

I hesitate.  “I want to.  I’m trying to understand, but it hurts that you didn’t trust me.”

“I’m sorry, Firefly.  Even if you can’t forgive me yet...please don’t leave.” His voice cracks, telling me how much that simple request costs him.  

My resolve falls apart, the same way it always does where he’s concerned.  I step closer to him, and reach out to touch his face.  “Varric, look me.”  He does, and I see the uncertainty in his expression.  I sigh.  “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.  You’ve always been a hero in my eyes.”

He frowns.  “What are you saying?”   


“That underneath all the bullshit, the stories, the lies, you’ve always been enough.  The real you, just as you are.  I’ll forgive you this time, but don’t let fear drive us apart again like that.  You need to trust me.  Trust  _ this. _ ” I link my fingers with his.

“That’s just it, I’ve never had anything like this before, and it scares the shit out of me,” he admits.  “I convinced myself it was too good to be true.”

“It’s good for me, as well.  Not  _ too _ good, just good.  I had different plans too, you know, but they all went out the window when a stubborn dwarf kissed me under the stars at Caer Bronach.  I don’t want this to end, do you?”

“Never.”

“Good.  So no more nonsense about you not being good enough.  You’re  _ exactly _ what I want.”

I kiss him.  I sense his hesitation and tension, but it quickly melts away and he’s crushing me to his chest.  I break off the kiss quickly, take his hand and place it over my heart.

“Do you feel my heart racing?   _ You _ do that to me.  No one else.”

His lips are back, firm and insistent, and I feel the heat rising inside me.  A tiny moan escapes me, sounding loud to my own ears.  

“Stop, stop,” I whisper, pushing him away.  “Tent, Varric.  Sound travels?”

He gives a frustrated grunt, and I can’t tear my eyes away from warm glow of his gaze.

“Screw it,” I say, and kiss him again.  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I twist my ring...and we’re standing in his chambers at Skyhold.

“You just…” Varric says once he realizes where we are, then grins.

“We have to be back by morning.  I don’t have enough trips to keep doing this, but we’ve got at least a week on the road left, I can recharge.  Once won’t hurt.”  I back toward the bed, crooking a finger at him.

“Weird magic shit to the rescue,” he mutters, shaking his head, before following me.


	37. Second Chances

Gods of Tevinter

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Second Chances

“That was a bit impulsive, but I really needed that.” I sigh, wrapped again in Varric’s arms.

“You and me both, Firefly.”  I feel the gentle pressure of his lips against my hair.  “Thank you for not leaving tonight.”  

“Yeah, well, with my luck, I would have ended up having to bunk with the octopus,” I joke, and his chuckle warms my heart.   _ I’m glad we’re back to this. _  I sit up, and look for my clothes.  “We should get back before we’re missed.”

“Alright, but one thing before we go.” He places his hand on mine, getting my attention.  “When we finish this mission and are back here for real, I want to move your things in here.”

“Yes!  That’s a wonderful idea,” I tell him, grinning from ear to ear.  I lean over to give him another kiss before I get out of bed.  I wince at the soreness, but manage to dress.

“Are you in pain?” he asks.

“Just aching muscles.  I wasn’t really expecting us to...um, be back here so soon.”

“Right,” he acknowledges, standing up as well.  “Ignore what I said about healing before.  I wasn’t planning on tonight, either.  I can tell I’m probably going to feel it tomorrow, too.”

I allow the blue light of healing magic fill my palm and put my hand over his chest, but don’t touch him.  I meet his gaze questioningly.  He nods, and I let the flow of magic pulse from me to him.  I sustain the spell for a few seconds, and when I see his shoulders relax, I let it go.  It takes quite a bit of my mana, as healing magic is not my area of study, and dwarves have a natural resistance to magic in general.  I repeat the process for myself, and it’s a relief to feel the knotted muscles loosen again.

“Better?” I ask.

“Yeah...I guess I’m not used to what magic feels like.  That was nice.”

“Dwarves are a bit tricky where magic is concerned.  It would have been easier had I brought my staff, but it can be done.  Are we ready to go, handsome?” I turn around, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I attempt to fix my messy hair, and it’s then that I notice something on the nightstand.  I reach for it, but he stops me.

“Leave it,” he says, looking down at the flower-ornamented hair comb I had been wearing on that first night together.  “I like that you left it here; it makes me think of you.  Besides, it belongs here now.  The rest of your things will be following soon enough.”

“I guess you’re right.”

He wraps his arms around me from behind, and I lean back into his chest.

“Let’s go,” he whispers.  I give the ring another twist, and we’re back in the tent.  It’s late, so most of the camp is already sleeping, with a few on watch.  We quickly lay out the second bedroll right next to Varric’s.  I make sure to take my evening herbs again before settling in close to him.

Feeling his nearness, the warmth of his body keeping me from being too cold, despite camping in the mountains, I let go of my earlier anger and just enjoy the quiet peace between us.  I may not have liked his fear, but I understood it.  I’d been there myself, not that long ago.  I can forgive him for being fallible, as long as he learns from it.  Happiness is a bumpy road, apparently.  It doesn't take long, after the long day we’ve had, before we both succumb to exhaustion.

Oddly enough, I’m the first to awaken in the morning.  I look at his sleeping features, his face finally relaxed; soft, dark blonde hair spread on the pillow like silk.  I can’t resist the urge and reach out to stroke the strands shining in the early morning light.

His eyes flutter open, unfocused, and settle on me.  He smiles, and I’m happy I was here to see it this morning.

“Good morning,” I say, continuing to stroke his hair.  “A new day is dawning.”

“Yes, it is,” he acknowledges and raises his hand to cup my cheek, pulling me into a kiss.  I allow the brief contact, but quickly move away from him afterwards.

“While I’d love to lounge around with you all day, I doubt the others will wait for us.  We should get up and get moving.”

*             *             *

The rest of the trip goes without too much incident.  Varric and I emerging from the tent together that morning is a declaration that our relationship is official and that we plan to continue seeing each other.  Leliana keeps a wary eye on me, but doesn’t go out of her way to speak to either of us alone again.  Cullen remains friendly, as are most of the others.  Josephine is kind to me, but I can tell she would rather I _not_ be attending the ball at the Winter Palace.  Vivienne is aloof and distant, as usual.  I get the impression she doesn’t like me very much, but that sits just fine with me.  Her political leanings make talking to her painful.

I keep finding Dorian and my brother together more often than not.  I still can’t tell if my brother is seriously interested, or if that’s just Dorian’s way of pursuing him, but he allows his presence, anyway.  I’m glad to see that my brother has made at least two good friends among the Inquisition.  Dorian and Hawke are both good men that I would want on my side in a fight.  I learn that Dorian has specialized in necromancy, which must tickle Tenebris to no end.  I bet they have a lot to talk about.  But after Cassandra had nearly bit my head off about my suggestion to Cullen, I’m through playing matchmaker.  My own romance has seen enough problems.

I’m back to being happy with Varric again.  He’s been extra attentive since the other night, probably to make up for his moment of doubt.  Whatever the reason, I’m not about to complain.   _ Well, I  _ do  _ wish we had more privacy.  But, soon enough.   _

We should reach the home of Comtesse Lutetia in a couple of hours.  Her home is close enough to Halamshiral that we can just leave for the party from there tonight.  Vivienne and the three advisors will be heading back to Skyhold following the gala, but the other nine of us will be heading together into the Hissing Wastes.

I’ve heard a little from the group about the Comtesse Lutetia herself.  Apparently she has a thing for butterflies.   _ I hope she doesn’t expect us to praise her “collection” _ .  The thought of admiring a bunch of butterfly corpses makes me a little ill.

We arrive at the estate.  I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t this.  The manor house is enormous.  I start counting rooms, trying to figure out how much of Skyhold we could fit here before we would run out of room.   _ Who knew that a minor comtesse would have such a grand estate?  If her place looks like this, how big is the Winter Palace? _

We’re shown to our rooms.   _ Separate  _ rooms, much to my dismay.   _ The Inquisition might be accepting of my relationship with Varric, but I guess wealthy Andrastians aren’t. _  I sigh.  I decide to focus on the party, but a thought hits me:  I don’t know any modern dances.   _ Varric will show me, right? _

Thankfully, I know what room is his and I knock politely once I reach the door.

“I’ve already seen the butterfl--Firefly, well hello,”  he corrects mid-sentence, a smile spreading across his face.  “I didn’t expect to see you yet; we’re not leaving for the palace until later.”

“I know, I just...I don’t want to embarrass myself when we get there.  I  _ knew _ how to dance, but it’s been so long, I’m sure the dances have changed.  Will you practice with me?”

He grins and bows, extending his hand. 

“Is there room here?  Maybe we should find somewhere larger.”

“Eh, you’re probably right.  I saw a drawing room downstairs that should be large enough.”

I look both directions down the hallway, and see no one.  We find the door to the drawing room, and there is no one inside.  I breathe a sigh of relief.  I’d rather no one else witness my awkwardness.

Varric instructs me on my body position, and places one hand at my waist, the other straight up, palm outwards.  I place my palm against his, feeling my heartbeat speed up.   _ Can he tell I’m nervous? _  I swallow the lump in my throat.  He hums a low melody, and I can’t help but smile.   _ Writer, merchant, master of a spy network  _ and _ can carry a tune?  Varric Tethras, you never cease to amaze me. _

He leads me through the first few steps.  We laugh at my bumbling, but it isn’t long before I have it down.  I’ve always been good at dancing, and it doesn’t take me long to pick up the patterns of the next dance, either.

“Can I cut in?” a voice says from behind us.  I look to see Hawke standing in the doorway.

Varric sighs, whispering, “Had the dwarf known his prize would be so coveted, he would have locked the sodding door.”

“I think I like that chapter in our story.  There hasn’t been nearly enough cursing so far.”

Varric chuckles and slowly lets go, as though reluctant to relinquish me to dance with another.  Garrett steps up and takes the same stance that Varric had when we first started.

“I warn you, I’m just learning these new dances.  You’re going to get your toes trampled.”

“I think I can forgive a few things in your old age,” he teases, and I burst out laughing.

“I guess that’s fair.  I’ve been around a long time,” I concede with a shrug.

We start moving.  Garrett’s longer legs make us unevenly matched, and he has to slow his steps.  It feels awkward.  I cringe, thinking about what this would have been like with Cullen, then I realize:  I’m going to find out as I’d promised to dance with him.  I focused my attention on how to adjust my own movements to accommodate someone of a taller height, but I miss Varric already.

I glance over and see him watching me and Hawke.  Garrett leans down and whispers in my ear,  “You really do love him, don’t you?”

“What?” I say, turning my attention back to Garrett.

“You’re in love with him.  It’s obvious.  The two of you can’t take your eyes off each other.  Varric always seemed like such a cynic, I never would have taken him for the type.”

_ Love...I’ve never used that word before about us...is that what I feel?  And what does he feel for me?  I mean, sure he said “forever”, but does he even understand what that really means with someone like me? _  My thoughts are suddenly full.

“Sorry, I figured you two had already sorted that part out.  Maybe I’m the one stepping on toes, but I’m happy for you, truly.  Finding someone to spend your life with isn’t easy, especially in times like these.”

“Do you ever miss her?”

“Who?”

“The girl you talked about.  The one who broke your heart.”

A humorless smile crossed his features.  “Yeah, I suppose I do.”

“Did you never look for her?”

“Of course, it’s where I went when I left Kirkwall, but I never found her.  She has her own ship; she could be anywhere by now.”

“I find it hard to believe she just forgot about you, Garrett.  I bet she’s out there somewhere, regretting her choices.”

“Nah, you didn’t know Isabela.  She doesn’t put too much stock in her past, and lives very much in the moment.  I doubt she thinks about me at all.”

I shrug.  “I know it’s not my decision to make, but if someone I cared about disappeared, I wouldn’t just give up.  You have the Inquisition to help back you up now.   You  _ could _ try again.”

“Hmm,” is all he says, and the conversation stops.  Dancing with no music to guide us, which before had felt comfortable and friendly, suddenly feels stiff, awkward.  A minute or so later he bows me.  “I think you’ve got it now.  I’ll leave you to him.”

I stand still as he walks away from me.   _ Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything _ .

Varric joins me.  “What was that about?” he wonders, looking at the door.

“I asked him about Isabela, but now I’m thinking I shouldn’t have.”

He sighs.  “You had to know her; Rivaini was one of a kind.  She often acted on impulse, and would do anything for a laugh or a good time.  I think the two of you would have gotten along, actually.  You should have heard her dirty limericks!  But...she really hurt him when she left.”

“I find it hard to believe she’s that hard to locate.”

“Well...she’s not, exactly.  I saw her one time after that.  She was the “old friend” I mentioned with Alistair and me when we did the dragon thing.”

“What?!  Does Hawke know?” I demand, and his expression tells me the answer.  “He doesn’t.  Oh, Varric.”

“She asked me not to say anything.”

“Did she love him?”

“I think so, but it got...messy.  I think maybe she thought she couldn’t go back.”

I sigh in frustration.  “My heart breaks for both of them.  Do you think we could do something about it?”  
He shakes his head.  “Don’t get involved, Ferox.  This is between the two of them.  If either really got it in their head that they wanted to see the other, they would.  Hawke didn’t try half as hard as he could have.”

I think that over.   _ Maybe Hawke is still angry about it.   _ “Alright, I’ll respect it, but it’s still sad.”  I place a hand on his arm.  “Varric, let’s never be that stupid, okay?”

He chuckles.  “No promises.”  He pulls me close, and I close my eyes, expecting to feel the soft caress of his kiss, but it doesn’t come, and the sound of someone clearing their throat causes me to open my eyes again and turn to look.

“Oh, Ferox dear, don’t let us interrupt you,” Dorian says.

“No,  _ please _ let us interrupt you.  I don’t need to see that,” Tenebris teases.

I laugh.  “Varric was teaching me how to dance.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” Dorian jokes, but even their ribbing doesn’t get me down.  I feel Varric squeeze my hand, and look at him.  He nods.

“It’s probably time to head back anyway.  Thanks for the dance lesson,” I tell him, and kiss his cheek, just to annoy Tenebris.  “I’ll see you later.”

He walks me to the door and watches me walk away.  I feel a little bad leaving him with my brother again, but I realize if he can’t handle Tenebris, who’s been on good behavior lately, he’ll never survive my other two brothers.   _ We’re going to have to face them eventually, but I’m pretty sure they would never think to look for me here. _  I walk back to my room to rest for a bit before getting ready for Empress Celene’s party.


	38. Social Graces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox and company attend the empress's ball at the Winter Palace.

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Social Graces

 

I study my appearance in the mirror, and I’m pleased with what I see.  The comtesse, of course, had brought in extra valets and ladies’ maids to help with the dressing and styling of such an illustrious group of guests as the Inquisition.  It feels strange to have attendants again after taking care of myself for so long, but I’ll admit, they make things like fixing my hair much simpler.

I chose this dress specifically in the hopes that Varric would like it.  Not unlike most of my wardrobe, the dress has a high collar, and the silvery gray leather extends to cover the tops of my shoulders.  A matching wide belt sits at my waist.  The rest of the dress is draped from flowing fabric in shades of midnight blue and black.  However, that isn’t what makes the dress special.  It’s the hundreds of tiny crystals sewn into the fabric, strategically placed to gather near the bodice and hem.  I turn, watching them catch the light coming in through the window, casting a million tiny reflective sparkles around the room.   _ Firefly, indeed. _

My hair has been twisted back on the sides, secured with ribbons adorned with jewels that trail down.  The ever-present curls near my face have been turned into more enticing loose ringlets, and the rest of my hair left loose and wild.  A metal comb sits at the back of my head, with a filigree fan of silver and more of the ornamental crystals that extends above like a crown.  I pull on a pair of long midnight blue gloves that complete the look, but keep my ring on underneath.   _ Just in case. _

I leave my room and walk downstairs.  Everyone is already waiting in their Inquisition finery.  I have to admit that it really does make them look like a united front, but no way was I wearing the red tunic and trousers.  My eyes seek out Varric, and I see him talking with Hawke.  Hawke spots me first, and then Varric turns to look as I descend the rest of the stairs.  He stops talking and just watches me.   _ Yes, that’s the reaction I was hoping for.   _ I give him my best smile, and walk to his side.  He doesn’t say anything.

“Well, what did the dwarf in our story do this time?” I ask him.

He clears his throat, seemling to gather his thoughts.  “The dwarf valiantly fought off the jealous sunset, for the starry splendor of a summer night beckoned to him, and only in the darkness could her light truly shine.”  He raises my gloved hand to his lips, then whispers, “You’re breathtaking, Firefly.”

My cheeks grow warm at the compliment and I have to look away for a moment.

“I wish I’d thought to get out of this getup,” Hawke comments, tugging at the red long-sleeved tunic with the blue sash that marks him as part of the Inquisition.

“Yeah, but it looks  _ good _ on you,” I reply.

He smiles.  “Glad you’re coming with us, Ferox.”

“You might want to wait until after we get through this before you say that,” I respond with a chuckle.

“You’ll be fine,” Varric says.  “We’ll be there to help if you need it.”

That thought does make me feel a little bit better, but I’m still apprehensive.   _ I couldn’t even get through a dinner with Declan, and now I’m going to be presented to Empress Celene herself?   _ Not that I care so much about what the empress thinks, I just don’t want to make things harder for Declan and the rest of the Inquisition.  This is important to them.

“The coaches are ready,” Cullen announces, walking into the room.  “It’s time.”

*             *             *

_ Just breathe, Ferox. _  I’m standing next to Tenebris, listening to the names being called, and wringing my hands.  Tenebris puts a hand on mine, motioning me to stop.  We’re going to be presented together, which works just fine for me.  Varric has already told me that once we’re announced, he’ll find me, and I can’t wait to get this part over with.  His turn is up next.

“Renowned author Varric Tethras, head of noble House Tethras, deshyr to the Dwarven Merchant’s Guild.”   _ Hearing it all together does sound pretty impressive.   _ Not as impressive as Cassandra’s never-ending names, but I feel pride as he walks forward across the ballroom floor.

I look up at Tenebris and he offers his arm.  “We’re up, sister.”  I reach up to take it.

“Archmages Ferox and Tenebris, arcane consultants to the Inquisition.”  I give an inward cringe at the introduction.  We’d agreed on the term “archmage” as opposed to other terms.  Two apostates claiming to be senior enchanters probably would not have gone over well with the more devout in the crowd.  Tenebris and I have never set foot inside a Circle - of course, they hadn’t even existed when we last left the Black City.  The announcer embellished the rest, but I suppose it’s an accurate enough description.

We walk across the floor as I had seen others do, and joined the others.  I overhear whispers from the crowd.  The two of us are likely fodder for gossip, but so far, so good.  Let them wonder about us.   _ I can do this.  I will do this...for all of them. _

My attention is occupied by my thoughts and I miss the rest of the introductions, then it’s over and everyone is mingling, and the dancing starts.  I take the marble stairs in front of me to the second story balcony, and find an empty spot near one of the open doorways.  I look out at the sky and see that clouds have rolled in.   _ Looks like rain.  At least they planned this thing for indoors. _

“Ah, here you are,” Varric says, and I turn to see him smiling at me.  “Do you want to dance?”

“You trust me not to murder your feet this time?” I joke.

“I trust you with more than that,” he says honestly, disarming my humor, and I shyly nod at his invitation, taking his hand and following him out onto the dance floor.  The song isn’t an overly fast one, much to my relief.  We find our place among the mass of twirling couples and I move myself into position.  I meet Varric’s gaze.  He’s watching me with a gentle expression that makes me think back to what Hawke said earlier.   _ He was right.  I  _ do _ love Varric. _  I expected the thought to make me happy, but the first emotion I experience is pain, a crushing feeling in my chest that steals my breath away.   _ No, Ferox, you still have time together, hopefully many years.  He’s not gone yet, don’t think about what happens when he’s not here anymore. _ _ Don’t let your sadness ruin this moment. _

“Something’s on your mind,” he points out in a low volume.

“Just fighting a few internal fear demons.  But I’m winning.” I smile.  “I’ll fill you in on it later.”

The kind smile is back, along with the bittersweet hope of a future together, however long we might have.  I’d once told Tenebris that Varric might want to join us, to become like us, but I’d just been spouting off defensively.  Still, it  _ is _ possible.  Varric could go through the same ritual that my brothers and I did so long ago.  Would he be willing to?  I’m sure living forever sounds like a dream to some, but when they realize that it means they will outlive everyone they’ve ever cared about, the idea becomes far less appealing.  I’ll tell him about it, at least, but that has to be his decision.  Having figured that out, I devote my attention back to our dance, and smile back at him.

We move gracefully this time, my awkwardness from earlier gone.  I know this dance.  It’s the first one he showed me.  He grabs my hand and I spin out away from him, then I’m back close, his hand again at my waist.  Before I know it, the song is over.  I see Cullen standing with Cassandra against the wall.  They seem to be talking with a group of young females.

“Varric, I need a favor,” I tell him.

He frowns.  “Why do I get the impression I’m not going to like doing this?”

I chuckle.  “I promised Cullen I’d rescue him from the nobles for a dance.  Can you occupy Seeker Cassandra?  Maybe you could ask her to be your partner for the next song?” I suggest.

He gives me an incredulous look.  “Wait,  _ you’re _ the reason he came with her, aren’t you?  Shit, Firefly, I thought I’d never stop laughing when I heard about it.”

“Oh stop it, I think they’re perfect for each other.  Besides, as much as you hide it, I think you like Cassandra just fine.”

“The woman had me kidnapped and interrogated me about Hawke.”

“Yeah, and you like her anyway.  Stop dodging...will you do it?”

He shrugs, and puts a hand to his head.  “Alright, but you owe me one after this.”

“Anything,” I agree.

_ “Anything?” _ he asked, grinning.

I giggle, but I nod.

“My lady always makes the most interesting requests,” he says, mirroring something he had said in one of our more intimate moments, and I blush.  “At least life with you is never boring, Firefly.”  

We walk together over to Cassandra and Cullen.  Cullen looks up and sees us walking over.  The noblewomen are facing away from us.  I give him a conspiratory nod and tilt my head in a small motion toward the dance floor.

“I’m sorry, but there’s an urgent matter that needs my attention.  Enjoy your evening, ladies,” he says, excusing himself from the pack of twittering ladies.  He strides over to me.  “Thank you for remembering, Ferox,” he says, expelling a breath, and extends his arm.  I look at Varric, then flick my eyes to Cassandra.  He shakes his head at me, but moves to go talk to her.

Cullen and I find a spot to dance.  I’m grateful for the practice with Hawke at dancing with someone taller than me, but it’s still awkward.  I laugh at a particularly uncomfortable move, and I’m happy to hear his chuckle above me.

“You were right about the height difference being an issue, it appears.  I have to admit, though, I was a bit surprised to find out that Varric was the would-be suitor you were talking about.  I could have sworn it would have been the Champion.”

“Why does everyone always think that?  No, Hawke is like an extra brother.”

“I’m just grateful he allowed you to dance with me.  Those women are...persistent.”

“I can only imagine.  Thankfully Varric has been keeping me busy and I haven’t had to talk to too many of the nobles yet.  I suppose we should, though, right?  It’s what we’re here for.”

“Declan has checked in once already.  He appears to be doing quite well on his own.  I trust Leliana to keep an eye on things, but I’m not sure I agree with her recommendations right now.”

“Declan said he was going to fill me in, something about seeing a future he wanted to prevent, but I think he must have forgotten, or just never got around to it.”

“I guess it doesn’t hurt to tell you.  You’re already aware of part of it, with the Wardens and their plot.  Declan got sent forward in time, saw what happens if Corypheus wins.  The world was covered in red lyrium.  A demon army was raised and devastated the land, which we now know was planned by the Wardens.  And,” he continues, leaning in to whisper this part, “there was an assassination of the empress.”   


“So  _ that’s _ why we’re here.”

He nods.  “There seem to be two other players.  An elf named Briala and Grand Duke Gaspard who both seem to be scheming against Celene.  Declan is investigating, trying to determine where the Inquisition should place its support.  I’m afraid Leliana and I don’t see eye to eye on this one.”  He sees my worried expression.  “We’re handling it, but if you happen to hear anything, let Leliana or Declan know.  Keeping eyes off of them is just as important a task tonight.”

“So I’m a distraction?” I ask with a grin.  “I might actually be good at that.”

He chuckles again.  “Precisely.”

The song is ending.  “Thank you for telling me, Cullen.  I feel a little out of the loop sometimes.  I’m pretty sure Leliana will never trust me, but if there’s anything else I can do, let me know.”

“Just enjoy the party,” he says as we walk back off the dance floor.  I don’t see Cassandra or Varric, and I turn to look for them, only to see them walking off the floor on the opposite side.  They separate, with Cassandra heading left on the balcony.  Varric looks across to me, nods in my direction, and takes off to the right.  

“I believe Cassandra is heading this way.  I’m going to meet up with Varric again.  Thanks for not making fun of my dancing,” I say, only half-joking.

He makes a small bow, and turns to head in the other direction, toward where Cassandra had been.  I immediately lose track of Varric as I round the corner.  The crowd here has grown, and it’s difficult to even find passage through the bodies.  I step around another group of nobles when I hear my name.

“I hear this Ferox and her brother spent a great deal of time in Tevinter.  It was bad enough that they let a magister’s son join, but how the  _ Herald of Andraste _ would tolerate such obvious Tevinter spies planted in the midst of the Inquisition is beyond me.”

I turn to look to see who has spoken, but I can’t tell in the crowd.  I do see my brother off to my right, and he has apparently heard the comment as well, as he’s already walking in my direction, a murderous expression on his face.

“Well,  _ I  _ heard,” a second voice says, “that she’s no more than a barbarian, practically raised by animals.  No sense of etiquette or manners at all.”  I’m able to identify the speaker this time, a tall thin woman dressed in an elaborate dress with a wide skirt.  She’s wearing a mask, but from the way her face is turned, I’m guessing she didn’t know I was standing there.

My face burns.  I won’t give those society gossips the pleasure of seeing me cry, but their words hurt.   _ Don’t get angry, it’s just high society games, Ferox.  Control your temper. _  Tenebris reaches my side and I can tell he’s having the same internal battle.

“If we weren’t here as representatives of the Inquisition, that viper wouldn’t have a mouth anymore at all, let alone be able to speak badly of you,” he says, clenching his jaw.  “Wait, I have an idea.”

“No blood magic,” I whisper furtively close to his ear.  “There are plenty here who would recognize it for what it is.”

His shoulders slump.  “You’re right, but she still deserves to be taught a lesson.  I’ll have to settle for something a little more subtle, then.”  He waves his hand and I see the violet tendrils filter out from his hand.  My eyes widen, realizing what he’s casting.

I put a hand on his arm and we start walking on, toward where I last saw Varric.  I hear the woman shriek behind us.  A glass crashes to the floor and someone calls out,  _ “Maker!  Are you alright?” _

I know  _ exactly _ what Tenebris did.  She’ll live, but her sudden panic in the middle of the empress’s gala will be the talk of nobles for at least days to come.  The embarrassment of such a spectacle will keep her quiet for while.  I’m a little proud of him for holding in his anger and doing something less overt.

“Horror, huh?  Good one,” I tell him with a grin, and he pats my hand.

“Your turn next,” he tells me.  “You know where that ‘Ferox is a barbarian’ nonsense must have come from, right?”   


I sigh, realization dawning on me, and, looking ahead, I see her:   _ Vivienne _ .  “Well, Cullen  _ did _ tell me it would be helpful to have a distraction from whatever Declan is doing behind the scenes.”

“Perfect.  Let’s get that prissy bitch.”

I grin and we go in, Tenebris moving away from me to move behind her, in case she decides to back away from me.  I get close, and one of the women around her asks, “How is the Duke fairing?”

“The healers are hopeful that he may make a recovery yet,” she says, her voice wavering in a way I’ve never heard before.  I gesture with my hand down by my waist, a signal to Tenebris not to do anything yet, and I settle in at the railing near them to listen.

“Do send Bastien our regards; his health is ever in our thoughts,” the woman says before they change the topic.  I walk back out into the center of the balcony, and Tenebris follows.

“Why didn’t you do anything?” he wonders.

“Her lover is dying,” I tell him, guiding him to another one of the open doorways.  Looking through the opening, I can see that the rain has started, thick sheets of water obscuring the landscape beyond.  I sigh, thinking about my own situation.   _ At least Varric is still young and in good health. _  “I guess I can understand what she’s feeling a bit.”

“Oh, Ferox, there is time yet,” he says.  “Don’t steal worries from another day.  You chose this.  Be happy...I will be here for you when the time comes.”

“And what of you?  Or am I reading things wrong between you and Dorian?” I ask.

He purses his lips.  “Truthfully I’m not sure what to make of him.  You know I did not approve of your choices in starting a relationship with a mortal.  I...don’t want to end up like Lucis.”

“I don’t think we will.  We have each other.”

“You’re going to ask him, aren’t you?” Tenebris questions, and I just nod.

“Even if you get Lucis to agree to this - which he won’t, by the way - Varric is a dwarf. The magic may not even work on him.”

“I have to try.”


	39. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a NSFW passage.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Revelations

 

Varric finally makes it through to the two of us.  “This crowd is only getting worse through here, but there’s a library this way. It should be less crowded now that everyone has moved in here.”

Tenebris smiles at us.  “You two go on.  I think I’ll stay here for a minute.”

I nod, and allow Varric to lead the way.  The two of us are smaller than most, which, in theory,  _ should _ make it easier to move in between the attendees, but people so rarely look down that they don’t take much notice of us.  Eventually we hit the entryway again and breathe a sigh of relief to be out of the press of bodies.

But then I see someone I never expected to see.

“Wait,” I tell Varric.  “There’s someone I need to talk to.”

“What?  Who would you know here?” he questions behind me, but I don’t respond, moving toward the woman.  She spots me, and an enigmatic smile crosses her pretty features.  She is average height for a human, slim, with dark hair.  Her elaborate dress speaks of money.  She must have a powerful patron, then, because I know her mother didn’t usually live in luxury. 

She’s the first to speak.  “Ah yes, the Inquisition’s ‘arcane consultant’ wasn’t it? I am-”

“I know very well who you are, Morrigan.”

She stops speaking, but the small smile remains in place.  “Do you, indeed?  My reputation precedes me, then.”

“So  _ you’re _ Celene’s magic expert.”

The smile fades.   _ She probably assumed that’s how I knew of her.  Silly girl.   _ “Who are you?” she asks.

“An old friend of your mother’s,” I answer with a smile of my own.

She frowns.  “Mother did not have  _ friends _ , only the men she took to her bed.”

“I’m...a little older than I look.”  I grin.  “But, I didn’t come here to antagonize you.  I’d hoped we could be friendly.  In fact, I wished to thank you.”

“What could you possibly want to thank me for?  We have only just met.”

“You may have heard my nickname.  They call me ‘Dragon Girl’.  Preserving the old magics is paramount.  You have my gratitude for doing what I could not.”

She exhales, and I can tell she is struggling with something internally, but her expression remains calm.  

“I assure you, I mean the boy no harm,” I tell her.  “But I  _ would _ like to meet him someday, if you would permit it.”

“I suppose, ‘tis inevitable that you would meet,as I am to serve as liaison to the the Inquisition.”

“Oh, then I’ll see you at Skyhold soon, then?”

“Indeed.”

“Then I shall I bid you farewell until then,” I say, giving a small bow and moving away from her.  She continues to watch me with a wary expression.

“What in the Void was that about?” Varric grumbles.

“Remember how I talked to Alistair in private about something when we were in Crestwood?  He and Morrigan helped a dragon some time ago.”

“He never mentioned it before.”

“He wouldn’t.  It involved magic.”

“Hm.”

I lean in.  _ “Sex _ magic.”

“Oh…” He winces, but then chuckles.  “Yeah, I probably wouldn’t brag about that one, either.”

I smile.  “I’m still grateful to both of them for what they did.  But I’m hungry; let’s find something to eat.”

*             *             *

After a quick snack Varric guides me down a hallway, through a doorway, and up a set of a stairs.  Varric was right, the library is deserted.  Well, except for one occupant.

“Hello Cole,” I greet him.  

“Hello,” he says simply, but frowns, looking back toward where the people had been.

“You look troubled,” I observe.

“I don’t know how to help.  The faces talk even when they aren’t moving.”

“The masks, yes, I bet that is difficult for you.  But you’re helping the Inquisitor just by watching.”

“Maybe,” he answers, turning toward me, his face tilted down, but his eyes meeting mine.

“I’d rather you not read me right now, Cole.  Thank you, but I already know, and I have a plan.  We’ll see you later?”

“If you like,” he states, and turns back around.

I follow the corridor, turning around one of the bookshelves to find another set of double doors, which open onto a landing with steps leading down into what appears to be a garden.  I glance one way, then the other.  The raindrops on the roof of the building are the only sound to be heard, and I don’t see anyone.

“Alone at last,” I sigh, moving to put my arms around Varric.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to do since we got here,” he says, and before I can ask, he’s already kissing me.

I accept his soft lips on mine, having had an equal desire to do the same all day, especially in light of the idea that our time together is limited.  When we end the kiss, Varric looks at me.  

“You had something you were going to tell me earlier,” he reminds me.

“Later, I have an idea.”

He raises his eyebrows, but lets go, and I take a few steps backwards toward the doorway.  Grinning, I bite the finger of one of my gloves and pull it off, and the the other, tossing them down near the door.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

I kick off my shoes.  “What else? Being impulsive,” I answer, glancing toward the open door.

“You seriously want to go out there?  We’ll be soaked in seconds.”

I remove the comb from my hair and set it with the rest of my things.  “Honestly, Tethras, where’s your sense of adventure?” I taunt him, and, pulling my skirts up with my hands, walk out into the rain.  I hear him chuckle behind me.  I wait for a moment until, now bootless, he joins me on the landing.

“Firefly, you still owe me one from before,” he warns.

I smirk.  “Yeah, but you’ll have to catch me first,” I announce, and sprint down the stairs into the garden.  I laugh in exhilaration as I run, hearing him chasing after me.  I take turn after turn through the labyrinth of dark green hedges.  When I pass a fountain, I’m tempted to stop and throw in a coin, but I resist the urge and keep going.  

I make another turn and realize I’ve cornered myself in a dead end.  Strong arms wrap around me from behind, causing me to laugh again.  I turn and look up at the sky, letting the rain fall on my face.  We’re somewhat sheltered under a trellis covered in climbing flowers, but plenty of the raindrops still find their way through.  Varric touches my cheek, pulling my attention back to him, both of us breathing heavy.

“Well hello, Handsome.”  I smile.

“What was that you were saying about catching you?  And I believe you said, and I quote, ‘anything’?”

I lean my forehead against his.  “Name it.”

“Kiss me,” he says.

“That’s it?  You were getting that anyway.”  His mouth crashes into mine, hungry.  His fierce kisses ignite a fire inside me that leaves me breathless for another reason.

His thumb caresses my cheek.  “Well, if that was a freebie, I get something else.  Hm...tell me why you didn’t want the kid to talk about you this time.  You’ve never cared before if he did it.”

I sigh, and all humor leaves me.  “I was going to tell you that too, but I wanted to wait,” I say, pausing and taking a step away from him.  He gestures for me to continue.  “It’s about how I don’t age.  I...I don’t like the thought that you will be gone at some point.  I know I knew this before, it’s just sinking in for me.”

“You’re doing that thing again.  There’s something you’re not saying.”

“There are a few things I’m not saying,” I admit.   _ I don’t think I’m ready for this. _  “But you already got your one.”

“Firefly...this trust shit goes both ways.”

“I know, and it’s not a matter of trust.  I trust you.  It’s not a secret or anything, I just...ugh I’m rambling.  Stars, why is this so difficult?”

He waits.  I take a deep breath, and look him in the eye.

“Varric, I...I love you, and I’m scared to lose you.”

He exhales.  “You love me?” he asks, lines creasing around his eyes.

I nod, unable to speak.  Only a split second passes, but the sound of the rain and my own beating heart makes it feel like an eternity before he responds again.

“Ferox,” he says, “my goddess of summer, my Firefly.  You make me feel more alive than I have in my whole life...I am  _ hopelessly _ in love with you.”

I close my eyes and savor his words for a second before throwing my arms around him and pressing my face against his neck.  “You wonderful dwarf.”

His arms slide around my waist and he locks his hands together to hold me there.  I feel his exhalation.  “That wasn’t what I expected at all.  I mean, it’s usually my luck, right?  Just when things start to calm down, it all goes to shit again. I didn’t mean to rush you, but I’m glad you didn’t wait to tell me.”

“Now that I know how you feel about me, it was totally worth it,” I say breathlessly, and kiss him, soft at first, but then he draws me in close, and the passion takes over.  Our lips meet again and again, and I feel his hands move down to cup my buttocks and pull my hips flush against him.  I groan, releasing his lips as I feel the hardness of him pressing against me.

“Firefly, you have that ring with you, right?” he asks, the sound muffled against my neck,  as he uses his lips to gently caress my skin.  One hand drags down my thigh on the outside of my damp skirts, making it hard to focus.

“Yeah, but wait...we need our shoes,” I remember, laughing, and there’s a delay before he lets go.

He sighs.  “Alright, but let’s hurry.”

I laugh, and we run, hand-in-hand back through the garden toward the terrace.  I grab our things, and instruct him, “Have Cole tell the others that we went back early.  I don’t want to worry everyone when they can’t find us.”  He nods, and walks over to where Cole is still standing, while I finish gathering our belongings.

When he returns, I grin.  “My place or yours?” I ask.

“Lady’s choice,” he answers, and wraps his arms around me.  I twist my ring, and the world fades.  When it stills again, we’re back in Varric’s room at the comtesse’s estate.  Dropping our things unceremoniously on the floor, we’re back kissing again.

He backs me against the bed.

“Stop, our clothes are soaked,” I protest.  “We’ll get the bed all wet.”  

“So we’ll sleep in your room,” he responds, leaning against me, and I drop to sit on the side of the bed.  

He reaches down and pulls up my skirts, running his hands over the soft skin of my thighs up to my hips, and I shiver with longing.  Grasping my hips, he pulls me forward, positioning me slightly off the side of the bed.  I let him take over and lay back, exposed to him, and he gently tugs at the fabric of my smalls, removing them and tossing them on the floor with our other things.

I moan as his hand returns, stroking my wet flesh.  “Stars, yes,” I mumble.

“Mn, I love that you’re always so ready for me,” he comments, raising one leg to kiss my calf while his fingers toy at my sensitive folds.

I see him reach down to unfasten his trousers, then he lifts both my legs again and enters me with one smooth motion.  I cry out, pleasure pulsing through me at the sensation of fullness.  He moves back, almost pulling out, before driving forward again, sheathing himself all the way inside me.  I call out his name, encouragement, and probably a few profanities as he sets into a brutal rhythm, the rough feeling of the fabric of his wet trousers brushing against me with each thrust.  I welcome his ferocity, curling my toes and rocking my hips beneath him.   _ I missed this. _

I raise up on my elbows and he leans forward to capture my lips in a brief kiss.  I feel my climax approaching, the sweet tension building.  “Varric, I’m so close.  Come with me,” I plead.  Our lovemaking reaches a furious peak and the two of us cling to one another, riding the waves of release together.

Releasing my legs, he plants a kiss on my forehead.  “I...didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No,” I say with a shuddering laugh, shaking my head.  “But give me a minute.”  I wait for my heart rate and breathing to slow a bit before trying to move.  Finally I sit up, looking up at him.  “Will you say it again?”

“I love you, Firefly.”

“I love you, too.”  I hug his waist, and his hand finds my hair.

“Sorry I was rough with you.”

I stare up at him in disbelief.  “You just gave me one of the most intense experiences of my life, and you want to  _ apologize?   _ I don’t think so.  I wanted you just as much.”

I move to stand, and he steps backward, giving me space.  I stretch, my skirts falling back down to the floor.  The dress is probably ruined from everything it’s been through today, but I don’t care.  It already served its purpose.  “We should probably clean up and change.  It’s hard to say how long the others will be gone.”

He smiles.  “See you in your room in about twenty minutes?”

I nod, then pause.  “There’s something else I want to talk about when you get there.  Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”  I kiss his cheek, and open the door.  Thankfully, none of the servants are hovering around.  We hadn’t exactly been quiet, which makes me wonder if the extra staff from before have been dismissed, their duty of getting us ready for the gala complete.  The Inquisition will be leaving in the morning, after all.  I make it to my room without running into anyone.  I wash up, remember to take my herbs, and put on a simple dressing gown.  I use a little magic to dry my hair, and spread the blue dress over the back of a chair near the fire in an attempt to let it dry.

A knock sounds, and I go to answer the door.  Pulling it open just a crack, I see Varric standing there.

“Yes?” I ask politely.

“Don’t ‘yes’ me, you minx,” he teases, and I open the door with a giggle, letting him enter.  I see that he’s brought a bag with him, and I’m happy he thought ahead this time.  He shuts the door behind him.  “Good, you’ve got a fire going.  I thought I’d never get warm.”

I wiggle my fingers.  “Benefits of being a mage.”

“I thought fire magic was difficult for you.”

“Not the simple stuff.  Just the complicated kind, like approaching a dragon for the first time.  Want me to help dry your hair?”

“You can do that?” he looks at my own long locks, already dry, and shrugs.  “Sure, why not?”

“Just sit over here in this chair, I’ll take care of the rest.”  He does as I ask.

I use my own hairbrush and the heated air as I had done before.  He gives a contented sigh, letting me tend to him.  “That feels nice,” he admits.  His hair is a lot shorter than mine, and as I’m only manipulating the air around him, not his actual body, his resistance isn’t a drain on my mana.  It doesn’t take long before his hair is dry.  I set down the brush and move to stand behind him.  Placing one hand on each of his shoulders, I lean forward, sliding my palms down his chest, and drape my form over his shoulders.

“I’m happy we got to spend this time together today.  I hate fancy parties.”

“Sweetheart, you and me both.  You had something to tell me, though, right?”

“Yeah.  I’m not quite sure how to bring this up, so I guess I’m just going to put it out there.  You know I’ve been the same age for a very long time.”

“Right.”

“As time passes, I won’t change, even though you will.”

“We talked a little about that before, but you said you wanted to be together anyway.”

“And I still do.  Nothing I’m about to say changes any of that.  It’s just...why settle for one lifetime together when we could have a hundred?”

“What?!”   


“There may be a way to make you like us - like my brothers and I.”

He’s quiet for a moment.  “And what if I say no?”

I move around to kneel in front of him.  “I would never force this on you, I promise.  I love you, and I’ll stay with you no matter what you decide.  There’s time to think it over.”

“Can I ask some questions about it?”

“Of course.”  I stand up.  “But I’m getting tired.  Come to bed with me?”  I move the covers back and slide in between the sheets.  He nods, and joins me, pulling me to rest on his arm, close to his chest. 

“So...how would you do it?”

“It’s a powerful magic ritual - so much so that it takes all four of us to do it.  There’s no guarantee we can convince Etiam and Lucis to even try, but I wanted the choice to be yours on whether or not we pursue it.  It’s hard to explain, but it requires intense concentration on our part for a long period of time, a few components that go into a concoction that you would drink.  Each of the four schools of magic play a part in the casting.”

“What does it  _ do? _  Would I be different?”

“Not really.  You would still have the same thoughts, the same personality.  You’re not a mage, otherwise you’d get access to more mana than a normal mage, but you will get slightly improved stamina and physical prowess.  And the aging thing, of course.  Otherwise, you’d still be you.”

“What’s the downside?”

“You would watch everyone you love grow old and die.  Over and over.  Your own death, should it ever come, would be a violent end, not from old age or disease.”

He exhales sharply and shakes his head.

“I understand, it’s a lot to take in.  What we are is enough for me, never doubt that.  If you ever decide you want to try the ritual, let me know.  Otherwise, this is the last time I will speak of it.  I just needed you to know that ‘forever’ might really be possible.  Goodnight, Varric.”

“Goodnight.”


	40. Raising Stakes

Chapter Forty: Raising Stakes

 

I awaken in the middle of the night, and reach over to find Varric’s space unoccupied.  Looking up, I find him on the other side of the room sitting at the small desk.  His form is outlined in silhouette from the candlelight and the light of a small oil lamp.  I hear the scratch of a quill as he writes.  The fire has burned down to glowing embers, adding very little in the way of light or warmth to the room.  I swing my legs out from under the covers and grab one of the extra blankets from the bed.

“You know, I haven’t seen you write much since we left Skyhold,” I comment.

“Inspiration often comes in the middle of the night,” he mutters over his shoulder.

“I don’t want to disturb you, but you should take better care of yourself,” I say, walking over to him.

He looks up.

“Here.  You have to be freezing.”  I hand him the blanket, and plant a kiss on his head.  “Happy writing, love.  Make sure to get  _ some _ rest.”  I add a couple of small pieces of wood to the fire and set them ablaze before crawling back into bed.

I sleep through until morning after that, waking slowly.  Varric is next to me, his arm draped over my side, and his even breathing tells me that he’s still asleep.  I relax, careful not to move, letting him sleep for a few more minutes.

_ I did what I could last night.  I told him about the ritual. _  This open honesty thing, while difficult, does seem to have its advantages.  My conscience feels clear.  I try to move out of bed carefully, but I end up waking him in the process.

“Firefly?” he asks, his throat gravelly with sleep.

“Like a twitchy cat, I swear,” I tease.  “I’m getting up, but it’s still early.  You can sleep a little longer, if you like.”  I slide out from under the covers.  

_ We’re leaving today and that brings me one step closer to the Sandy Howler. _  I sigh, thinking about it.  I walk to the other side of the room and dress in my red armor.  Pulling on the long coat this morning gives me a sense of purpose, like a warrior brandishing their shield.   _ I need to stay focused.  The dragons must live. _  I quietly pack up my things, and I see Varric getting out of bed.

“I don’t see Bianca, which means you left some things in your room,” I note.  “Do you want me to help you pack?”

“You really are like a mother hen sometimes,” he says, and I blush.  

“I want to help you...do you not like it?”

“No, I’m just not used to it.  It’s usually the other way around for me.”

“Ah…”

“What is it?  You seem tense.”

“Just thinking about this dragon in the Hissing Wastes.”

“Well, at least it’s pretty far out there.  We still have plenty of time before we get there.”

“Part of me is happy that it isn’t happening yet, and part of me just wants to get it over with.  I’ve thought about just using the ring, and finding the dragon myself.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asks, putting a hand on my arm.

“Just remember your promise.  If things go wrong, get Tenebris.”

He nods.  “I can do that.”

“I should check in with Etiam then if you’re going to be a minute.  I haven’t spoken with him in days.  I’d like to hear about Lucis.  Last report, he wasn’t well.”

He frowns.  “Alright...you probably miss them, don’t you?”

“Of course.  You miss  _ your _ brother, don’t you?  But being here, helping the Inquisition, it’s the right thing to do.  I’m not going anywhere.”

He gives a wry smile and a nod.  He picks up his things, which he must have packed last night before when he was writing, and opens the door.  “I’ll see you downstairs.”  

“Wait!” I call, running to the door.  “You’re forgetting something.”

He looks around the room, and looks at me in confusion.

I grin and slide a hand along his waist, pulling him in closer for a kiss.

He breaks it off with a chuckle.  “Good morning to you too, Firefly.  Go talk to your brother.”  He backs away, pulling the door closed.

I fix my hair, braiding it in two plaits again, as it’s simple and fast.  I cast my healing spell to avoid feeling sore muscles throughout the day.   _ I should have offered to do the same for Varric. _  I remember his comment about me being a “mother hen”, and I realize he may be right.

I open the pendant, and connect the magic.  “Etiam, are you there?”  No response again.   _ Has Lucis already left?  Oh stars, what if he’s already at Skyhold?  Maybe Tenebris knows something. _

I allow the blue glow to fade from the pendant, and try to shove aside my worry.   _ One thing at a time. _  I pick up my bags and head down to join the others.  Vivienne and the advisors are saying their farewells.  Cullen looks up when I enter.

“I was wondering if we would see you before we left.  Maker be with you on your mission.”  

_ And may he not be waiting for you back at Skyhold _ , I think, but instead I say, “Thanks.  I’m still planning on beating you at chess when I get back, don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

He smiles.  “Then I will look forward to it.”

“May your journey home be swift and pleasant.”  He nods, and walks outside.

I look around, trying to find Varric.  I don’t see him, but some of the others aren’t here yet, either.

Hawke notices me and comments, “He hasn’t come down yet, but I’m surprised you didn’t know that already, what with you two sneaking off alone together last night.  You missed all the action.”

“Or  _ did _ we?” I quip, and Garrett laughs.  “But seriously, what did we miss?”

“Only Declan confronting the Grand Duchess in front of the entire court and revealing her plot to murder Celene.  She’d been helping Corypheus all along.”

“Wait, the Grand Duchess was working for  _ Corypheus?! _  Stars, I definitely didn’t see  _ that _ one coming.”  I shake my head.   _ Another odd feat for the ancient magister.   _ “I think I have a lot more respect for what Josephine does, though, after last night.  Those nobles are vicious.”

“Yeah, I don’t think ‘the Champion’ will be accepting any more party invites for a while either.  And here I thought  _ Kirkwall _ was bad.”

Varric joins the two of us,  Bianca once again strapped to his back.  “Hey, Hawke,” he says.

“Back on the road again,” Garrett sighs.  “It was nice to sleep in a bed for once.”

I spot Tenebris, and turn to Varric. “I need to talk to my brother, but I’ll meet you outside, okay?”

“Sure thing, Firefly.”

I walk away from them, thinking about Varric and Hawke’s friendship.  If Varric agrees to the ritual, he’ll end up having to grieve Hawke’s death at some point.  But, as recent events have shown me, even if things don’t last forever it doesn’t mean they aren’t worth pursuing.  I’ve made quite a few friends of my own here, and I wouldn’t trade this feeling, despite knowing that I’ll lose them all in time.  

But I guess it’s not that different for them.  Sometime in the future, the Inquisition will have outlived its usefulness; and like it or not, the group will probably drift apart.  It will become harder to keep up with each of the individual members, and eventually, they will all forget how it feels right now to be part of something larger than themselves.  The Chanty’s power was never from following the words of a dead woman.  Groups of people with a common cause,  _ that’s _ where the real power lies among the mortals.

“Tenebris, can I talk to you?” I ask, interrupting a conversation he’s having with Declan.

“Of course, Sister.  If you will excuse me, Inquisitor,” he states with a small bow of his head, and moves to follow me.

We step to the side in a more secluded area.  “Have you heard from Etiam?  I tried reaching out to him, but he hasn’t responded.  I’m worried about Lucis.”

He pauses before responding.  “I didn’t want to alarm you, but Lucis already left yesterday morning.  Etiam is not sure where he is, but he believes he is searching for us.”

“But if he’s here and not in the Black City, then he can’t use the Well.”

“Thank goodness.  If he’d seen the events of last night’s party, I’m sure he would have been looking for us here in Halamshiral.”

“I hope we can dodge him a little bit longer.  I need to handle this situation with the Sandy Howler first.”

Tenebris scowls at me.  “A  _ Sandy Howler,  _ Ferox?” he says, his volume loud enough that it draws the attention of a few of our companions.  “You didn’t say you’d be going up against a  _ fire dragon.   _ No, there’s no way I’m letting you do this.”

“Is there a problem?” Declan asks, joining our conversation.  “Ferox seemed concerned about it before, but she said she wanted to do it.”

“Yes, there’s damned well a problem.  She’s not doing it.”  He turns to me, “Ferox, you  _ know _ the risks.”

“And I’ve made plans for if something happens.”

“Tell me what I’m missing,” Declan says.

Tenebris sighs.  “It’s about Ferox’s magic.  Something...went wrong with a ritual we did long ago.  Fire magic, the more advanced kinds, anyway, have been difficult for her ever since.  There’s a possibility that it can take her over, steal her will.”

“Like possession?” Declan asks bluntly.

“Somewhat, although no actual demons are involved.  It’s...complicated.”

I purse my lips.  “I’m doing this, Tenebris.  She’s an elder dragon, and a rare Sandy Howler on top of that.  When is the last time we even saw one of those?  If she lives to be an ancient dragon, she’ll bring a new type of magic into the world.  I will see to it that she has that chance.”

“Even if you lose yourself?  Ferox, even you must see that this is too risky to do on your own.”

“I told you, I have a plan.”

Declan asks, “Would it help if you were there, Tenebris?  I need another mage, but I could take Hawke in your place and let you go with Cassandra’s team.”

“Yes, if my sister insists on being  _ an utter fool _ , then I will be there.”

“Now wait just a minute-” Varric says, attempting to interject.

Tenebris cuts him off.  “I don’t need an opinion from someone who understands nothing about our family.”

“Damn it, Tenebris, you don’t have to say it like that.  Varric’s only trying to protect me.”

“Then he should keep you off this mission.”

“Ugh!  I hate when you’re stubborn like this!”

“No more than you,  _ Sister.” _

Hawke starts laughing, and I glare at him.  “Sorry,” he says.  “You just sounded exactly like my family used to.  Bethany and Carver would get into it just like that.”

I chuckle, despite myself, then give a frustrated sigh.  “Sorry, Tenebris, I know you’re just worried.”

“Does he have good reason to be, Ferox?” Declan asks.

I sigh.  “Yes.  It’s not going to be easy, but I believe I can handle this.  And, I suppose, it will be better if Tenebris is there to handle things if I run into problems.”

“Then it’s settled.  Hawke, you will be joining Dorian, The Iron Bull, and myself to check out these Venatori dig sites.  Tenebris, you will go with your sister, Varric, Frederic, and Cassandra to see to the dragon.”


	41. Passing Time

Chapter Forty-One: Passing Time

 

The journey to the Hissing Wastes will take close to three weeks  I think back to the eluvian system and what the elves attempted to accomplish with it.  Maybe it  _ would _ have been better to have portals to travel through from the major civilizations.  If I settle things with my brothers, maybe someday we can implement something similar.  This “travel for a month just to get there” part is nonsense.  Perhaps that can be the Inquisition’s new purpose once Corypheus is defeated - to keep the world of Thedas connected.

I look up at the sky from the back of my horse.  The clouds from yesterday are moving on, and by mid-morning, the sky is once again blue as we ride.  I think what it must be like for dragons to be able to fly.   _ I bet it doesn’t take  _ them _ a month to get somewhere and back. _  At least the company is good.  Hawke, Dorian, and Delcan are hilarious when you put them together.

Cassandra and Frederic seem like the outsiders on this mission, but I see her making an effort to speak with him regularly, and I decide to do the same.  I share with Frederic a little about how I use elemental magic and the Draconic language to speak with dragons.  Once he hears that the dragons have a language, he insists on learning some of it for his research and publication.  I’m glad he has something to occupy this time.  I give him a few phrases as a primer to get started, but warn him that it’s not safe to approach any dragons to try it without me.  I see him writing notes, and it makes me happy.

Varric and I now share a tent every night and no one in the group protests.  I’ve gotten so comfortable sleeping next to him that when he’s not there in the middle of the night, it wakes me up.  But I love watching him carefully penning his works.  He’s been writing something nearly every night lately.  

Hawke lends me his copy of  _ Hard in Hightown _ .  It’s the first I’ve ever read of one of Varric’s books, and I have to admit, it’s pretty entertaining.  I can hear Varric’s voice in it.  It’s the “bullshit” side of Varric, of course, but I like it anyway.

The good thing about a long journey is that I’m able to make a couple of side trips and still recharge the ring.  I go to see Serenade again.  Serenade laid her eggs successfully, and her dragonlings should be born in a matter of days.  That thought is a little scary for the humans nearby, but she’s agreed to keep them contained to the fens until they are a bit older.

The trip to see Miracle is a bit different, as I bring Varric with me.  When I suggest we combine a trip and stop at Skyhold for a little private time, he’s quick to agree.  

That is, before we were standing on the side of a sheer mountain cliff outside Crestwood with the wind threatening to throw us off to our deaths.

“Miracle?” I call in Draconic.  “I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Okay, but I’m going to sleep soon.  You should visit earlier,” the dragon says.

_ Hm, her personality is still the same, but I think her language is improving.  Good girl. _  I nod.  “I apologize.  It’s hard for me to get away from the others in the daytime.  This is my friend Varric, and we came to see how you are doing.”

Varric turns to me when he hears his name.  “What did you just tell her about me?”

“Just an introduction.”

Miracle moves her massive head to study him.  “He doesn’t have the storm.”

“No, no he doesn’t.  But he’s nice to me.”

“Okay.  He’d be easy enough to eat if you want me to.”

I grin.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Okay, that’s more than an introduction,” Varric says.  “ _ Translation _ , Firefly.”

“She just offered to eat you if you’re mean to me.”

“Uh...should I be worried?” he asks.

“That depends: are you planning on being mean to me?”

Varric chuckles and shakes his head.

“What is he saying?” Miracle asks.

“I think your offer made him nervous.”

“They taste better when they’re nervous,” she comments, and licks her lips.

I laugh.  “But that’s not nice, Miracle.  He’s here to help you.”

She looks thoughtful.  “Okay.  Friend of Ferox can stay.”

“Thank you.”  I lean over to Varric.  “She says you can stay.”

“Do I want to ask what was funny?”   


“No, probably not,” I admit.

I turn back to Miracle.  “So are you doing well?”

“Yes,” she says.  “I like the mountains.  No people.”

I nod.  “Privacy is nice.”

She stumbles over the word, and I have to explain that one to her.

“Yes.  I like to be alone,” she responds.  “But there’s a drake that visits.”

“Already?  Are you sure you’re ready for a mate?”

“What do you mean?”

_ Stars, now I’m explaining to a dragon where babies come from. _  I launch into a somewhat lengthy and awkward conversation.

“I think I will wait a bit, then,” she states.

“ _ Now _ what was that?” Varric asks, getting impatient.  “You’re acting strange.”

“I’ll tell you once we leave.  You’re going to want to be sitting down for this one.”

We say our goodbyes to Miracle, and, with another twist of the ring, end up back at Skyhold.  I tell Varric about Miracle’s suitor, and he laughs for a good five minutes.

“I wish I had understood what you were saying.  I’m picturing it now: well, when a mommy dragon and a daddy drake love each other very much…” His laugh sounds again and he can’t finish the statement.  My own amusement bubbles to the surface.

“Yeah, that was awkward.  Speaking of…” I say, reminded, and reach into my pouch for my evening herbs.  I see that this is the last of what I had made.  “Shit, I’ll be out after tonight.  How far are we from an established Inquisition camp?  I mean, before we came back here.”

“A couple of days, probably.  The next one should be when we first hit the Hissing Wastes.”

“Okay...I’ll need to restock when we get there,” I say, wishing I could just walk down to the Undercroft and take what I need, but it would be hard explaining to everyone how we are  back in Skyhold when we’re supposed to be nearly to our destination.

“You’re good for tonight, though, right?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh yes,” I confirm, my own smile conveying just what I mean.

“Ah, in that case,” he states, walking toward me. I squeal a little when he picks me up in his muscled arms, and I hope no one heard it.  

I cling to him and whisper furtively, “Put me down!”

“Gladly,” he says, and dumps me on the bed with a laugh, crawling up to join me.  I reach my arms out to welcome him.   _ Stars, I love this dwarf. _

*             *             *

Two days later, we ride into the Hissing Wastes.  Scout Harding was right, this place is  _ empty. _  The sheer nothing we’ve encountered for the last few hours has me exhausted already.  I’m a little disappointed that we haven’t ran into any varghests.  As the hours stretch on, I start to think that I might  _ rather _ be dragged off to a varghest nest than see more of this place.  The dark sand shifts together under the hooves of our mounts and makes the ground seem almost fuzzy in the near dark of twilight.

Finally, a light ahead.   _ Thank goodness, the Inquisition camp.  No, wait, I don’t see the Inquisition flag anywhere. _

Declan puts a hand up, calling the company to a halt.  I squint into the darkness, trying to see who is camped ahead.  

“Looks like we’ve got red templars,” he informs us, sighing.  “As if the Venatori weren’t bad enough.”

Tenebris reins in his horse next to mine and comments, “I bet the two of us could take them out, no problem.”

Iron Bull quirks an eyebrow.  “Oh, you think?  Why don’t you two take the two on the left, and Cassandra and I will take the two on the right?”

“How did I get pulled into this?” Cassandra questions.

“Declan?  Up for moderating a little competition?” I ask, grinning.

“Mages versus warriors, and I wasn’t even invited?” Dorian pouts.

“Maybe we should make this more interesting...say two sovereigns?” Varric offers.

Declan whistles.  “I’ve seen both Cassandra and Bull in a fight.  I’ve yet to see much of Tenebris’s skills, but…you know, Varric, I’ll take that bet.”

“Oh Declan, betting against me?  I’m hurt,” I tease, shaking my head in mock disappointment.  “Varric, sweetheart, treat me to a drink in the next town with the Inquisitor’s money?”

He grins, and nods.  “And not that horrible stuff he serves at his table either,” he jokes, causing me to laugh.

Hawke chuckles.  “I’m staying out of this one, I like my money where it is.”

“So what are the rules?  Are we just talking incapacitation or a full kill?  Are we being judged on speed or who makes the biggest mess?” I ask, getting into the idea.

Dorian grins.  “How about a points system?  One point for quickest kill, one point for the messiest, one point for the best teamwork.  Most points wins.”

“I’m in, but you should moderate, then, if Declan has money at stake,” I state, and look to see Tenebris’s nod.  I turn to Dorian.  “Tevinter, there’s about to be so much blood you’ll think you were attending a party back home.”  This earns me a grin from him.

“Let’s do it,” Bull comments, and Cassandra gives a disgusted noise, but shrugs, apparently close enough to an agreement.

Frederic looks on in interest, but doesn’t say anything.  He doesn’t appear as entertained by this as the rest of us.  I bet he’s wishing he could be dragged off by the varghests now, and the thought makes me smile.

“Someone should do a countdown, keep it fair,” I suggest.

“I’ll do that,” Hawke offers.

The four of us dismount and get into position.  Tenebris and I both keep our staffs at the ready.  “Lead in with Death Cloud and I’ll Chain Lighting the two of them to start, okay?” I tell Tenebris.  We’re familiar with each other’s moves.  We’ve done this more times than I can count.

“Three, two...one!” Hawke counts down, and we immediately launch into action.  Tenebris casts Death Cloud.  The gray miasma settles in around just our two templars, alerting them to our presence, but causing a multitude of weakness, including a confusion that affects their aim.  I run forward ahead a bit, and slam the blade of my staff into the ground.  I see the blue-white lightning arc across the ground, striking the first templar, and move to the second.  

_ Metal armor, _ I think with amusement.  Tenebris is already following up with a secondary spell.  The familiar purple tendrils curl around both men.   _ Horror, as expected, but wait...they’re not panicking. _

“That didn’t do much, Brother.  Watch and learn,” I comment, and swirl my staff above my head gathering the chill before again striking the ground.  Both of them are covered in snow and frost, and are slowed, but still moving toward me.

“Hm, your spell seems a little less effective than usual, Sister...what am I supposed to be learning, exactly?” he jokes.

“Fine...fire it is.  Can you use a little force magic?” A templar charges at me.  I put my free hand to my head, then fling the palm outwards, knocking the templar backwards.  Tenebris casts a spell behind me, knocking the other down as well.

_ Fire.   _ I pull on the energy inside me, holding my staff horizontally in front of me before aiming it toward both of them.  A jet of flame erupts in a cone ahead of me, engulfing both of them in flames.   _ Now they panic, _ I think grinning.  The flames consume them, and they never again reach their feet, the wails of their death echoing in the night.

I look over and see that Cassandra and Bull have quickly dispatched their targets, the heads now separated from the bodies.  Our own opponents are charred to a crisp, smoke still filtering out of their visors, the ground scorched by lightning and fire around them.  Through what can be seen through the remains of their helmets, their faces are twisted in their last moments of pain.

Looking between the two, I can’t tell which side won.  I look at Tenebris and shrug.  We walk back to the others.  Declan is smiling.

“That certainly was enlightening...or should I say  _ en-lightning?” _ Declan asks, raising his eyebrows.

I groan at the pun and cock my head to the side, looking toward Dorian.  “Did we win or not?”

“By my calculations...Bull and Cassandra were clearly the fastest, so they earned that point.  You two had superior teamwork, gain a point...messiest kill...is a tie.”

We all make sounds of complaint.  “Ugh, I vote the ‘Vint has to play next time and  _ I’ll  _ stand back and look good.”

“At least you admit I’m good-looking,” he says, smiling.

“We should be moving on,” Cassandra says.  “There are probably more of these red templars in the area.”

“You’re right,” Declan says, and we mount back up again.

I look to Tenebris, he’s quiet, his head down, thinking.

“What is it, Tenebris?”

“Just thinking over what I learned about the red ones during the fight.  They’re tougher than normal templars.  I wonder what would have happened if they’d had a chance to try to smite one of us?”

I think about that.  Normal templars don’t have too much of an effect against us, so I hadn’t really considered it.  We’re too practiced with magic, and our willpower is sufficient enough to withstand such things.  Throw red lyrium into the picture, however, and it might change that.

“Maybe we should let one of them try next time.  You go first.”

“Oh, Ferox, it’s a good thing I can’t reach you from here.”

I laugh, still cheerful after the fight.  It had only been regular magic, but it felt good, and broke up the monotony of the ride through the desert.


	42. Dragon of Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that threatened to give me a heart attack. Buckle up, readers :D

Chapter Forty-two: Dragon of Fire

 

As we travel on the tedium sets in once again.  “I’m  _ bored _ ,” I complain.  “Maybe we should have waited for more templars after all.”

“There’s an Inquisition camp nearby,” Dorian states.  “It should be over the next rise.”

“You said that on the  _ last _ rise, Tevinter,” I whine.

“No, I think he’s right this time,” Declan states, pointing ahead.  

Sure enough, there’s a light from a campfire ahead a ways.  Of course, in the desert, distance can be a bit misleading.  It takes us a good hour to reach the top of the dune where the camp is.  Once we get there, I immediately hop down off my horse and stretch.

“Hello, Inquisition!” I greet the agents cheerfully.  

“Long ride, we know,” one of them states with a grin.  “We can take care of your mounts if you want to go ahead and set up your tents.”

“Perfect,” Hawke says, and we start assembling our temporary sleeping quarters.

Once we get our new home for the night set up, we all gather in a circle around the fire, and eat a few trail rations.

“This is the last night we’ll spend as one group,” Declan states.  “Cassandra, your group will head to the east in the morning.  Our own destination lies north of here.”

“And you’re still sure about this, Firefly?” Varric asks.

“Yes,” I say.  “Now that I’m here, I can’t wait to see her.  If the sketch is anything to go from, she’s going to be enormous.”

“I still have trouble seeing how that’s a  _ good _ thing,” Dorian says, shaking his head.

“Magic, Dorian.  The older they get, the bigger and smarter they get, and the more magic they have.  So I guess in this case bigger  _ is _ better.”

Declan snorts, and I grin.  I feel Varric chuckle next to me.

Tenebris roughs up my hair.  “That’s enough out of you, imp.”

Regaining his composure, Declan looks to Dorian.  “Hey, any more stories about the other Ferox and her family of gods?”

“As a matter of fact, I  _ have _ translated a new section.  And, as we predicted before, it mentions another god with a name like the real Ferox’s family.”

“Which one this time?” the Iron Bull asks, leaning forward, his attention on Dorian.  

_ Since when did Bull care about these stories? _  Then I realize I’d welcome anything to break up the boredom of the past few days, too.

“The third sibling, Etiam.  The text had two names for him: the Wise and the Fadewalker.  His name translates to “stillness”, and it seems he was good with spirits from the Fade.  The people write about him as some distant figure, though.  There’s far less information about him than there was about the other two.  They mostly mention him in connection with the Creator - that’s the fourth god.  I suspect this Etiam might have been a  _ somniari.” _

_ You’re wrong on that on that one, Tevinter. _  But no need to correct him.  Etiam, even when we visited Thedas more regularly, had always been emotionally distant from the people.  He helped teach them, but he didn’t let them get to know him at all.  He just didn’t see a reason to.  I think about him, and his warnings.  I realize I  _ do _ miss Etiam.  It’s been weeks since I’ve even seen his pale blue eyes and long, pale blonde hair in the pendant.  I look around at my new companions.   _ I’m happy...but I miss my family.  I wish they could be here with me, enjoying the ribbing. _

Tenebris pats my arm.  “I know.”

“Soon,” I mutter.

“Yes, soon.”

*             *             *

In the morning we say goodbye to Declan’s team.  I’m a little sad to see Hawke go, but if I’m being honest with myself, I’m glad Tenebris will be there.  I’ve been putting up a brave front, mostly for Varric’s sake, but the truth is, I haven’t tried to talk to a fire dragon in a long time.

The five of us ride east across the desert.  The colors have changed a little with the daylight, but it still seems eerily dark.  I suppose it’s the color of the shifting sands here in the Hissing Wastes.  When we stop for lunch, I take an empty vial from my pouch and put a little of the sand inside, studying the shade.  It’s...grayish, but almost a pale violet.  I wonder what minerals make up this composition?  Lucis probably would have been able to tell me, as tied to the natural world as he is.  I’m struck by the urge to keep it.  I’m not sure why, as we’ve been surrounded by never ending waves of the stuff, but I tuck the vial of sand into my pack anyway.  

After lunch, Frederick is pestering me again about the dragon language.  I’ve taught him basic greetings, and we practice our Draconic together.  He wants to learn more, so we start on the different farewells.  Varric, who already speaks a few different languages, joins our lesson.

“Excellent, Frederic.  Your pronunciation is getting better.”

“It is because I have a superb teacher.  Truly, I believe you have missed your calling, Ferox.  Perhaps you should consider instructing at the university.  Although, I suppose before now, a mage probably would not have been allowed a position there, would they?  There would probably be some of the the older scholars who would frown upon it, but it would be very exciting to have another draconologist on staff.”

“Teach something other than magic…I’ve never really thought about it,” I admit.  “I suppose we will have to see what the Inquisition does after Corypheus is defeated.”

“It’s not a bad idea, Firefly,” Varric comments.

“Okay, now I have a funny image of the two of us both publishing books out of Kirkwall.  Mine would be non-fiction and not sell half as well as yours, of course.”

He smiles.  “Kirkwall, with you...yeah, I could live with that.”

“We should get going,” Cassandra says.  “If we keep up our current pace, we will reach the temple by late this afternoon.”

_ Already? _  My earlier excitement about seeing the Sandy Howler is replaced by the fear again, but I push it down.   _ No, it’s going to be alright. _

I keep saying that to myself over and over in my head for the next four hours or so, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.  We see the trees that mark the beginning of the valley where the temple lies.

“What do we know about the temple?” I ask Cassandra. 

“Very little, I’m afraid.  The dragon has kept our agents from getting close enough to get a good look.  But I was told it appears to be ancient Tevinter.”

_ Great.  Probably with more references to the four Tevinter gods for Dorian.   _ We reach the top of the rise and I can hear her massive footfalls echoing off the sides of the valley.  

I attempt to swallow past the lump in my throat, and I find myself hesitating.   _ Scared or not, there’s no more avoiding this.  It’s time.   _

Looking ahead, careful not to make eye contact with any of the others, I instruct them, “You’re not going to want to be anywhere near me when this starts.  If she’s nested here, she could be defensive of her territory, and start launching fireballs.  I’ll have no way of knowing her demeanor until I get closer, past these trees.”

“Observing nesting behavior of a rare breed would be  _ fascinating, _ ” chatters Frederic, getting out his notes.  “But you are right, probably best not to be in too close a proximity.”

“Where should we wait, Firefly?” Varric asks.

“Don’t go further than the treeline, and if it goes bad, you need to fall back,” I say without glancing in his direction and walk forward, afraid I might lose my nerve if I look back.

“How will we know?” Cassandra asks from behind me.

The flutter in my chest keeps me from answering, but Tenebris fills in the response for me.  “You’ll know,” he says, his voice flat.   _ I know you disapprove, Brother, but I have to do this, for all of us. _

We make it to the treeline and squat under the branches to observe the dragon for a while.  Ferederic’s eyes go wide with wonder. 

“What a fantastic specimen,” Frederic comments, scribbling away at his notes and making sketches of the dragon.  “I’ve never seen anything like her before.”

“That’s because most of them died out long ago.  Let’s see what she does.”   _ And give me more time before I have to go over there.   _ But, I can’t deny she’s a beautiful dragon.  The Gamordan Stormrider might be my favorite, but the fire types often have the lightning ones on size.  Her kind is nearly extinct.  I haven’t seen a Sandy Howler for centuries, not even through the Watcher’s Well.  _  All the more reason I need to make this work.   _ I attempt to calm my breathing, my heart hammering in chest, drowning out other sounds.   _ Cool logic, Ferox. _  I focus on observing.

Her behavior is watchful, but not fearful the way Serenade had been in the Exalted Plains.  This is a powerful-looking dragon.  Her body is massive; the strength in her legs could easily crush a full sized human in armor.  Her dark-colored scales blend in with the encroaching shadows as the sun dips below the line of trees on the valley rim.  Dark gray?  No, looks more like a dark blue.  Her horns are straighter than the last two dragons’,  slender and angled away from her face.  The lining of her wings catches the fading light and almost glows in stripes of red and orange.  Then I notice something.

“She’s not leaving the entrance of the temple,” I remark.  “This isn’t nesting behavior.”

“No?  What do you think she is doing, then?” Ferederic asks me.

“She’s  _ guarding _ that place.  Intentionally.”   _ What in the Void is in there that could be so important to convince a dragon to guard it?  It’s an ancient temple.  It had to have been built long before she was even born.  It makes no sense. _

“Do dragons even do such things?” he asks, shocked.

“Normally, I’d say no.  But that’s an elder dragon.  They’re capable of intelligence comparable to you or I.  Don’t underestimate her.”

I sigh, standing up and stretching my legs.  “Tenebris.  If this goes tits-up, you know what to do.”

He nods, looking worried.  

I try to swallow past the lump in my throat, and walk out of the trees and into the valley.  I don’t bother drawing my staff, leaving it slung over my back along with my pack.  I won’t need it for this.  Ever since we did the ritual fire magic comes easily to me.   _ Too _ easily.  I place my hand over my heart.   _ Patience.  Stay asleep.  I don’t need you for this. _  I stretch my hands out to my side near my hips.  With a snapping motion, I move my arms upward, bending them at the elbow, and I throw the dome of fire around me.  Flames rise out of the ground in a split second, and I’m surrounded by orange glow.

The fire settles in close to my flesh, the movement tickling my skin, but not burning.   _ This must look strange to Cassandra.  I wonder what she’s thinking.  Focus Ferox.   _ I close my eyes.   _ Feel the fire, embrace the fire.   _ I rise up taller on my toes as the sheer energy of  _ being alive _ shoots through me, starting at my feet, and making my head feel light.   _ Oh, I’ve missed his feeling! _  I can’t keep the wide smile off my face.

I turn back to look at my brother and nod.

I can barely hear him comment to the others, “So far, so good.”

“Maker’s Breath, that is what is  _ supposed _ to happen?” Cassandra exclaims.  I don’t hear any more of what she says because I’m walking toward the dragon.  

I try not to run ahead, the sheer joy of what I’m feeling spurring me forward.   _ Careful about giving in too much, Ferox.   _ I settle for smiling and giggling as I approach the Sandy Howler.  She sees me.  And waits.   _ What?  What is she doing? _

I’m not sure how to interpret this change in her behavior, so I decide to try speaking.  “Greetings, elder dragon.  Might I speak with you?”

“Yes.  I am Cinder, and I know who you are.  I have been waiting for you.”

“You know me, Cinder?  How?”

“Mother told me.  When I came of age, she gave me the sacred duty of guarding this place.  She said you would come.  I have waited a long time.”

Why would you be waiting for me?”

“Well, not  _ you _ exactly, Destroyer.”

I feel a stirring in my chest.   _ No, not now. _  The flames continue to lick my form, but now they surge a little higher.   _ Sleep. _

I bite my lip, nerves threatening to make my hands shake.  “What do you mean?”

“You carry within you the wildfire,  _ Ignifir _ ...the dragon of fire.”

“How do you know that?”

_ Ba-dump.  No, damn you...sleep.  You are not needed. _

“Do you not recognize your own temple?”

In horror, I glance at the structure, and the pressure in my chest grows.   _ It’s true.  She is familiar with this place.  This is a temple to the dragon of fire...the ancient dragon Toth, the only Archdemon I had ever been able to save, by taking her soul at the moment of death into my own body. _

_ No, I can do this.  Toth, listen.  We need to work together.  Don’t fight me on this. _  But I can already tell that the flames are changing.  They shift from orange to blue as I feel her soul waking.  

“You are home,” Cinder says.  “You are welcome to enter, but the others are not.  Send them away.”

My body starts to move against my will, turning toward the others.  I can’t make them out, but I know they’re still among the trees.   _ Tenebris, help!   _ This is definitely not good.  I need to get rid of my emotions, calm myself.  I try to release the flames in order to reach for the cold, but she stops me.

**_NO_.**  The voice resonates in my head.

_ Please don’t do this. _  I try again, but I can’t seem to make my body obey me.  I watch in desperation as I start walking toward the others.  One foot in front of the other, shaky at first, but then my body relaxes, and I know I’ve lost any hope of stopping the movement.  I feel my body walking with a confident swagger that’s unlike my usual gait.  Each step spawns tiny fires that dance outward from my feet, only to burn out and die on the violet sand.

Halfway there, I see my brother standing at the edge of the clearing.  He’s walking toward me, and _... _ the others are following him.   _ No, don’t.  It’s not safe. _

The flames around me shift again, going white-hot.

“Ferox,” my brother calls.  “You have to fight her!”

_ I’m trying, brother. _  I think to the things that really matter: my brother wanting to stay at my side, the faces of my friends in the Inquisition, saving the world through magic, and...watching Varric writing at the desk in the middle of the night.   _ Oh Varric.   _ I look over and see him.  I’ve never seen that expression on him before.   _ Fear. _

“Firefly?” he asks, taking a step toward me.

“Don’t get near her,” my brother tells him.  “If you touch her right now, she won’t mean to, but she’ll kill you.  Look at the ground, Varric.”

I look down to see what he means.  The sand under my feet is turning to glass.   _ The flames are  _ that _ hot?  Shit, this isn’t good at all. _

“That’s not Ferox right now,” my brother explains.

I hear my own voice speaking, but I know it’s not me.  “The Darkness is right.  You should all leave.  I am home now.”

“Let go of my sister, you bitch!” Tenebris yells.

My voice changes, and I hear both my voice and Toth’s simultaneously,  **“THEN I WILL COVER THIS WORLD IN FLAMES AND I WILL SEE YOU ALL BURN!”**

_ Focus.  Varric, my love...writing at the desk.  Publishing books together in Kirkwall.  Fireflies and summer nights.  Him saying the worlds “I am hopelessly in love with you” on a rainy night at the Winter Palace.  No, Toth...you will not hurt the ones I love. _

A tear slides down my cheek, and quickly evaporates, but my thoughts are my own for a second, and the flames die.

“Tenebris, bind me,” I plead.  “Please…”

“Sorry, Seeker, you’re not going to like this,” my brother says, unsheathing his dagger from his belt.  He slashes his hand, freeing the blood, and casts the spell.  I feel the invisible chains surrounding me, and I stiffen, unable to move.

I don’t spare a glance for Cassandra, more focused now on what must be done.

“You know what to do,” I encourage him with a nod.

He places a hand near my body and red filaments of magic trickle out of me, slowly at first, then faster, like a torrent.  I scream in pain, and hear lightning crash in the distance in response.  I’m grateful for the restraint right now, and after a moment, the pulling magic stops, and the binding ends. 

Freed from the invisible chains, I collapse to my knees and weep, sobs wracking my body, exaggerated by having embraced the fire, my emotions still heightened.  Tenebris sinks to his knees and gathers me against his chest.  I let him hold me and just cry.

“That was a close one, but it’s alright now, Sister.  I’m here.”

“Will someone tell me what in the name of the Maker just happened?” Cassandra demanded, glowering at both of us.  “That was clearly  _ blood magic,  _ and according to you, Ferox nearly killed us?”

I look at them.  Varric is watching me, brow furrowed, saying nothing.   _ Not good.   _ Frederic of Serault has backed far away from me into the treeline, shaking his head in disbelief.  And if looks could kill, Cassandra’s expression would have murdered me just now.

I sigh.  “I’ll explain everything.”

“You had better,” she says.

After a few minutes, I’m able to catch my breath enough to speak, and, with my brother’s help, I get to my feet.  “It has to do with ancient dragons...well, in this case, the Archdemon Toth.”

“Toth?” Confusion crosses Cassandra’s features.  “You mean the Archdemon from the Third Blight?”

Frederic takes a step forward again. “But Toth was defeated at the Battle of Hunter Fell.”

“Yes...and no,” I respond.  “At the moment the Grey Wardens believed they had killed her, I took her soul into my body.  I wanted to save her.”

_ “You _ did?” Cassandra said, her nose wrinkling in disbelief.  “That was hundreds of years before you would have even been born.”

“Well...I’m a bit older than I look.  Magic can accomplish a lot if you know what you’re doing.  Our family is not like others.  The humans of ancient Tevinter called us gods.”

“Then the stories from Dorian’s artifacts...no, you are lying.” Her expression hardens again, eyes narrowing.

“Do you have a better explanation for what just happened?” I ask her.

She is quiet, frowning, but contemplative.

“What  _ did _ happen, Sister?  You had control over the magic at first,” Tenebris points out.

“That’s a _fucking_ _temple_ to Toth down there.   _Hers._ Cinder, the dragon, is its ancestral guardian.  She was waiting for me to show up.  Toth recognized it, Tenebris, and in my surprise, she took over.”

“Shit.”

Varric doesn’t look me in the eye, but finally speaks.  He asks, “What would have happened if he hadn’t stopped you?”

_ I can’t...I can’t tell him… _

“I’ll tell him, Ferox.  It’s alright.  She saved Toth’s soul, but it’s still corrupted by the Blight.  If Toth had taken her over completely just now, she would have succumbed to the corruption and Toth would have risen in her place.”

“So we were seconds away from facing an  _ Archdemon _ and the start of a new  _ Blight?” _ Cassandra shouts.

“I’m sorry,” I say, sobbing again.  “I thought I could do this.”

Tenebris sighs.  “I’ve drawn what corruption out of her that I could.  That’s what you saw me doing.  It will keep Toth at bay for now.”

“Then, uh, what’s going to keep  _ that _ dragon at bay?” Varric asked, eyes wide, looking behind me.


	43. The Sandy Howler

Chapter Forty-Three: The Sandy Howler

 

The Sandy Howler is on the move.  She knows where I’ve gone, must have seen the flames extinguish, and she is coming for us.  I wipe my tears and turn to look at her.   _ I need the cold right now.  Sorry Varric, we can talk things through after we all survive this. _

I take a deep breath and feel the chill in the night air of the desert.   _ Yes, embrace the cold.  Walls of ice around my heart.  The dragon of fire encased in a mountain of snow.  No emotions to feed you.  Gone. _

“Better,” I state, and walk forward toward the Sandy Howler.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Varric yells.  “We’ve gotta get out of here!

I turn my head to him.  “Go.  I’ll handle this.  It’s better now.”

I see the moment when he realized from my tone what I’ve done, and he shakes his head.  Tenebris put a hand on his shoulder.  “Let Ferox do this.  Toth is quiet again, and I doubt the ancestral guardian of her temple would risk harming her.”  Varric visibly relaxes, seeming to accept this, but watches from a distance.

I walk toward the dragon, following the trail of glass from before.  I look at it dispassionately now that it is done.  Cinder seems confused when I walk straight toward her.

“What have you done to  _ Ignifir? _ ” she questions, her tone harsh.

“She is still within me, but quiet now.  I protect her soul, as I have always done.  You said I was welcome: did you speak true?”

“How did you silence the wildfire?”

“Her soul is not ready.  It was corrupted by the darkspawn.  I had to silence it for now, because I’m working to purify her soul so that she may one day again be whole.”

Cinder stops, looking at me.  “The Blight...I had not sensed it, but now that you speak its name, I hear the truth.  Toth should remain within you.”  

The dragon steps back from me and her massive body stoops down low, bending in the middle, her head reaching nearly to the ground.  I watch her bow before me without reacting.

“I am sorry, Ferox, carrier of the wildfire, I overstepped my bounds.  What would you have me do?”

“I only wish for us to know one another.  You have been at your post a very long time.  I thank you for guarding it so diligently, but you must long for companionship.  Could we not be friends?”

“Friends?  With the Destroyer?  I...I had not anticipated any such possibility.”

“May I enter the temple while you think it over?”

“Yes, of course.  It belongs to Toth, so she will always be welcome.  As are you, Guardian of Toth.”

_ Guardian of Toth...I think I like that.   _ I realize that I’m feeling amusement already.   _ And what was that about wanting to be friends?  _  The cold didn’t last long against the dragon of fire apparently, but I’m happy that Toth is quiet again..  

Once inside the temple I’m surprised to see both Tevinter and Dwarven architecture. As far as I know, the dwarves never engaged in dragon worship the way that Tevinter had.   _ Maybe this temple predated the generals, from a time when dwarves lived on the surface in this area, and Tevinter later repurposed the ruins? _  That theory makes the most sense, but I have to admit seeing the juxtaposition of the Tevinter and surface dwarf elements makes me a little happy, as it reminds me of Varric and myself.  

_ I hope he can try to understand. _  I don’t want this to end what we have, but I can’t force him to be okay with the fact that he’s been living with an Archdemon waiting to happen.  I sigh and venture further into the temple.  It’s dark, but I see a Veilfire brazier that I ignite with magic and use to light a torch.

In front of me is a statue...of  _ Mythal _ .  _  A tribute to an Elven goddess, in a temple built by dwarves and used to worship a Tevinter “old god”.  Will wonders never cease. _  I examine the figure of my old friend.  Fen’Harel had said she was still alive and free on this side of the Veil.  I’m a little surprised not to have seen her.

Next to the carving of Mythal is another one.  A man, bent at the waist, appearing to writhe in agony, covered in flames.   _ Ah, there’s Toth _ .  I reach the final chamber.  It’s actually a lot smaller than I had expected, with a few chests that appear to hold items, but very little in the way of things that would interest the Inquisition.  I make a few rubbings of inscriptions, mostly stories about ancient dwarves, confirming my belief that this place had once belonged to the dwarves.

I clear out the items and put them into my pack.  I do see one thing I keep for myself:  a lightning dagger.   _ A little blade that also has the storm inside.  Perfect.  Maybe they  _ did  _ know I was coming, after all.   _ Closing my bag, I walk back outside.

“Cinder?” I call to her.  She looks at me, and seeing my full pack, nods.  “It is as it should be.”

“Have you considered our friendship?”

“Yes, and I think I would like that.  Will you visit me?” she asks, and I swear, the hesitancy in her question makes her sound almost shy.

“Toth has returned to visit her temple.  I have retrieved what would likely interest the mortals, and they should have little reason to return to this place.”

“What are you saying?”

“I release you from your duty.  You may remain here, but only if you wish.  If you would like, I can help you find another suitable place to nest, but I wouldn’t recommend leaving without me.  There are other groups out there in the Wastes, mostly humans, and they wouldn’t hesitate to try to harm you.”

“I...think I will stay here, for now.  But you will return?  Bring back the wildfire?”

“Yes.  I think she would like to come back and speak with you again.”

“Farewell, Destroyer,” she says, and sits down in front of the temple.   _ I guess old habits die hard. _  I sigh, thinking about the questions that await me back on the ridge; but there’s only one way to get this over with.  Climbing the hill seems to take far longer this time.  The emotions have taken a lot out of me and I’m honestly exhausted.  My breathing becomes heavier by the time I reach the top.

I pause to catch my breath, and announce, “The dragon is no longer bound to guard the temple, but she says she wants to stay here.  I brought what I could from inside the ruins, but I wouldn’t recommend trying to get past her, at least not without me.  She won’t like it.”

Cassandra nods, taking the pieces of parchment from me.  “Dwarven?”  she asks aloud of no one.

“The temple had a mix of things in it.  My best guess, it was originally built by surface dwarves prior to the rise of Tevinter in this area.  It was later taken over by Tevinter and used for worship of the ‘old gods’.  The odd bit was a statue of Mythal.  It seemed a little out of place to find an Elven goddess among the others.”

“Surface dwarves?” Varric asks, glancing at the tracings.  “Yeah I think I can read these.”

“Can we talk? Privately?” I ask him.  He glances at Cassandra, who nods, and he leads me further into the trees.  We prop our backs against a rocky outcropping, and I look at him.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him.

“Funny part is, I can’t even tell what part you’re apologizing for.”

“I screwed up big time, okay?  Both back then, and again today.  I just wanted to save the dragons.  I never wanted to risk hurting you.  Never.”  I hang my head, having trouble looking at him.

“Come here,” he says, sighing but opening his arms.  I walk to him and wrap my arms around him.  “Are you alright?” his voice sounds next to my ear.

“Yeah, now.  What Tenebris did helped.”

“I felt so helpless, Firefly.  I couldn’t do anything for you at all.  Some hero I’m turning out to be.”

“But you did; you  _ did _ help.  That was the only thing that brought me back from the brink:  my feelings for you.  Believe it or not, remembering watching you writing your damned stories snapped me out of it.  You help, Varric.”  The tears fall again unbidden, and his strong arms tighten around me.

After a moment, he asks.  “So what does this mean?”

“Nothing.  I’ve had Toth’s soul for centuries.  She’s been a part of me the whole time you’ve known me.  I’m still me, the same girl you met, and who fell in love with you.  As long as Tenebris is around, we’re normally able to manage the corruption.  I think I would have been fine if that hadn’t been a familiar place to her.”

“Alright...but I’ve decided.”  He takes a deep breath and it takes him a minute to say the next words.  “I don’t want your ritual.”

I pull away and look him in the eye.  “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, after today.  There’s just so much of this magic shit I don’t understand.  What if something happened to you and you were gone?  I don’t want to be stuck like that forever if you’re not with me.”

I nod.  “Okay.”

“I still I love you, Ferox.” He pets some of the wild curls of my hair away from my face.

My breath catches in my throat.  “Thank you for not leaving, I know it had to be scary.  I love you too, so much.  And I meant what I said.  I’ll stay with you, for your whole life if you’ll let me.”

“I can think of far worse things that spending my life with the woman who loves me.”

“Even one who might one day try to burn the world?”

“I already knew you were the Destroyer,” he says, his tone light.  

I look at him and a slow smile spreads across my face.  I reach for his hand, and we start walking back toward the others.

“Firefly?  How old  _ are _ you exactly?” he wonders.

“That’s not a question you ask a lady,” I joke. “But I’m over a thousand.  Why?”

“Huh,” he responds, stunned for a second, then shakes his head as if to clear it.  “Wait, I just remembered something you said.  You told me that the dragons weren’t the old gods, but that they served the true gods of Tevinter.”

“That’s right,” I say, smiling.  “The ancient dragons of old were the generals of our armies.  It’s why when they’re affected by the Blight they pull the darkspawn to them.  Even though they’re lost in corruption and madness, they’re still trying to lead.”

“How many dragons are we talking about, exactly?”   


“There are twelve ancients left that we know of.  Two are still buried, waiting for the darkspawn to find them and turn them into Archdemons.  We have the other ten safe at home.”

“You have dragons who lead armies?!  Why in the Void are we not using them against Corypheus?”

“There are no armies, just dragons now.  The people forgot about the old powers long ago, and those who try to revive that idea are treated as heretics and fanatics.  It would be hard to summon much of a real force of mortals.  We’ve been protecting the generals until the Blights are over and the darkspawn die out.  Otherwise, we risk losing them too. 

“Remember, each time an ancient dies, its kind of magic dies too.  It’s why I tried to save Toth.  Can you imagine if all fire magic suddenly disappeared from the world?  That’s what would happen if we had lost her.  Using the generals risks the end of magic, and in turn, the end of the world.  Corypheus himself will not be so difficult to defeat, once we can get to him.  That’s assuming that my brother is wrong, and he doesn’t have a god backing his power.  He’s just an upstart magister.  His kind have been dealt with before.”

“Yeah, by the  _ Maker _ .”

“Yes,” I agree, and turn my head away so he doesn’t see my smile.

“You believe in the Maker?  I thought you weren’t Andrastian.”

“I’m not.  Andraste was just a woman, but the Maker is real enough.”

Varric stops walking and stares at me.  “Shit, you were alive then, weren’t you?  I gotta know.”

“Later, Varric.  I don’t think the world is ready to  _ really _ know about the Maker just yet.”


	44. Memories and Melancholy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - sad themes, thoughts of death (mild)

Chapter Forty-Four:  Memories and Melancholy

 

I’m surprised that, with his memory, Varric hasn’t asked about Solas yet.  I think about our truce with Fen’Harel.  I’d strangely gotten on almost friendly terms with him again before we’d left Skyhold.  If his intentions are true, and he just wants to stop Corypheus, then I don’t want divulge his secrets, even though I’ve been more open about my own.  But I won’t lie to protect him, either.  If they ask for an answer, I will give it.

Frederic is full of questions when we get back.  What was Toth like?  How did I get the soul out?  I refuse to answer any specifics about that, reminding him that it didn’t exactly work very well.  I don’t want anyone else trying to do what I did.   _ And now that I’ve seen the sex rite Alistair and Morrigan used, I know it’s possible to save the soul and purify it at the same time.  I wish I’d known it back then.  They truly have my gratitude for saving Urthemiel.  Or is it Mythal I have to thank for giving Morrigan the spell? _

I answer Frederic’s questions about the Sandy Howler, and at his insistence, take him over to meet her.

“Cinder, I would like to introduce you to one of my companions.  His name is Frederic, and he is practicing your language.  He wishes to try out his new skills.  Please be patient with him.  He is learning.”

“Why are you doing this?” she asks me.

“To offer you something in terms of companionship?  Would it not be nice to have more than one person you can talk to?”   


“Another possibility I had not considered.  Very well, let this human speak.”

“Go ahead,” I tell Frederic, and he gives her his best greeting.

Cinder comments, “Not bad, but he speaks with a lisp.”

I chuckle.  “I know.  I’ve been trying to work on that with him.”

“She said something, what was it?”   


“She said you were very polite.”   _ No sense making waves. _

Cinder doesn’t say anything.   _ Does she understand the human common tongue?  If so, she didn’t give any indication of it. _

“Tell her I thank her for the opportunity to meet her.”

I convey the message.

“He’s very eager, isn’t he?”

“This is mild compared to how excited he gets sometimes.  This man studies dragons for a living.  He’s never seen one of your breed before, and I think he’s a little in awe.”

“He could be an interesting specimen to study, to learn more about humans.”

I laugh, and turn to Frederic.  “She says she has an interest in studying humans, too, and you would make a good specimen.”

He blinks at her.  “A dragon researcher...and a researcher  _ dragon! _  I would be a pioneer in my field.”

I turn to Cinder.  “I think he likes the idea.  Do you understand the common tongue the humans use?”

“No, I have not had much chance to hear it before now.”

“Hm, no I suppose you wouldn’t.  You really have been isolated out here.  I understand what that feels like.  I will teach Frederic, and help him to speak with you.”

“Thank you, Ferox. It is an...interesting opportunity.”

“Frederic,” I say, getting his attention.  “Time for your farewell.”  He dutifully recites a parting phrase I taught him.

“He was better this time.  Tell him to visit again.”

I nod and do so, and then we return to the others.  

Cassandra watches me walk up.  “It is late, we should just camp here for the evening.  I doubt many creatures will bother us with a dragon nearby.”

_ Good point _ , I think.  We set up our tents and I gratefully lay down tonight, taking my usual spot next to Varric once we unroll our bedrolls.  I run my fingers absentmindedly through his chest hair in the dark.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks.

I sigh.  “It was a rough day.  I’m glad I was able to talk to Cinder, but everything else...I’m just grateful to be here,” I say, indicating my position next to him, “and to still have this.  I thought you might leave me after everything that you saw today.”

“Nah, blood magic, dragons.  Kinda reminds me of back home,” he jokes.

That gets a laugh out of me.  “Yeah, from what I know of the things Hawke got mixed up in, I’m sure you’ve seen some crazy shit.”

“I thought the Seeker’s eyes were going to pop out of her head when Tenebris pulled out that blade, though.”

“You don’t hate blood magic?” I ask, curious.

“One of my good friends back in Kirkwall was a blood mage, but she wasn’t a bad person.”

“I knew there was a reason I love you.”

“This is usually the spot where I have some kind of come back, but I’m just too damned tired, Firefly.”

“Mmn, alright.  I’m pretty wiped myself.  Goodnight, love.”  

His hand rests on top of mine on his chest.  “Night.”

*             *             *

The trip back to the Inquisition camp is completed mostly in silence.  Seeker Cassandra watches both Tenebris and me a little closer now.  Her hovering is getting a bit annoying, but I don’t say anything.  I know she’s going to tell the others when we meet back up, and everyone will know about the Destroyer and the Darkness being real and performing forbidden magics.

I have no idea how that news is going to go over with my new friends.  Hawke has already shown his concern over blood magic and... _ shit, Cullen. _  I hadn’t even thought about what he’ll do when he finds out since he’s still back at Skyhold.  He was a former templar and after what he hinted at having experiencing, I doubt he’s going to want to work us anymore.  But as much as I try, I can’t bring myself to regret it.  Cinder lives, and we were able to gain her cooperation.  Provided rogue dragon hunters don’t come looking for her, she will live to become an ancient.  Now that the danger of Toth is over, I can be happy about it again.

_ Of course, I won’t be the only one with an ancient dragon soul at Skyhold _ , I remind myself.  Morrigan will be there by now, and will have brought her son.   _ Not that anyone will know about him, except Morrigan, Alistair and I, of course.   _ I look forward to seeing Urthemiel again.  That’s assuming I don’t get kicked out of the Inquisition.  Declan may not want me there when he finds out about the danger to his people.  All the assurances in the world won’t be enough after what Cassandra witnessed.

The memory of the violet sand turning to glass under my feet, and the panicked feeling when my body moved not to my will, but _hers..._ I can’t seem to shake it.  The scene keeps replaying over and over in my head, causing my heart to beat faster.  I look down at my hands holding Darkforge’s reins.   _I could have killed them._ _Maybe they would be doing the right thing by getting rid of me._  Not that it would negate the threat.  If another Archdemon rises, the Blight will threaten everyone, regardless of where it starts.  Maybe I should talk to Alistair.  As much as I hate their methods, the Wardens would be able to stop Toth if it came to it.   _I’ll talk to him back at Skyhold._

I look over at Varric, but he’s facing forward and doesn’t notice me watching him.  I’m saddened by his answer about the ritual, but I understand his reasoning.  I wonder about Tenebris and Dorian, and feel a little guilty that I’d taken him from the other mission and made him accompany me, but things would have been a lot worse if he hadn’t been there.

More than anything, I miss the joking atmosphere that we’d had on the way here.  I’d even fight more red templars just to feel better.  That’s it.  I need a good fight, an excuse to use my magic again.  But, to my disappointment, the rest of the journey is uneventful, leaving me with only my thoughts that follow the same patterns again and again.

I’m glad to spot the Inquisition flag.  We’re the first ones back, but at least the ride is over for today.  We’ll wait here for Declan’s team.  I dismount, and as before, the agents take over care of our mounts.

“I’m going to take a walk,” I tell Tenebris.  “I need to clear my head.”

He nods.  “Let me know if you need me.”

Varric looks at me questioningly, but I just shake my head and walk in the other direction, out into the sand.  I glance up at the sky, and I’m not surprised to see clouds forming, even here in the desert.  The thought of planning my own death isn’t a pleasant one.  A couple of days ago, I had been dreaming about my future with Varric.   _ What will he do if I’m not part of the Inquisition anymore? _

I reach a ruin near the camp.  Under my feet a flat raised surface suggests there might have once been a road here, cutting through the shifting sands.  Pillars stand like silent sentinels, reminders of some long-abandoned structure, whatever they used to hold up lost to the ravages of time and blowing sand.  I sit on the side of the platform and hug my knees to my chest.  All I can hear is the sound of the wind, picking up now with the oncoming rain, and I fight the urge to cry again.   _ It’s not over yet, right?  Things may look bad, but I still accomplished my mission.  And Varric still loves me.   _ My own words to Varric come back to me…”trust _ this”. _ _ I know I’m feeling uncertain right now, but I need to trust that Varric won’t hurt me. _

I see movement in the distance, past the camp.   _ Horses?  Looks like the other team is back. _  I walk back to the camp, and get a better look.  They’re still a ways off, but it does look like Declan’s crew _. _  As they get closer, I notice there are more of them than there should be.  I count off in my head: Declan, Cole, the Iron Bull, Dorian, Hawke... _ there should only be five _ .  But I can see seven riders.

“Who is that with Declan?” I ask Tenebris as I enter camp again.

“Not sure...wait, yes I do know.  Shit.”  He looks down at me, and it hits me.

“No...now?”

“It appears so.”

“Who are you two talking about?” Varric asks, also squinting into the distance.

“That’s Etiam and Lucis with the Inquisitor,” Tenebris answers.


	45. Coming Clean

Chapter Forty-Five: Coming Clean

 

Cassandra takes a deep breath.  “Those are your brothers out there?”

I nod.  “I’m not sure how they even knew to look for us all the way out here, but yes.”

“And you’re saying they, too are...gods?”  She hesitates over the word, finding it hard to use.

“It’s going to be alright, Cassandra.”   _ Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself. _

“Meeting the rest of the family.  Great,” Varric comments.

I turn to give him what I hope is a reassuring smile.  “They’re not so bad, once you get to know them.  Hopefully they’ll be on good behavior.”

I take a deep breath and we wait for them to arrive.  I feel Lucis’s eyes on me as he dismounts.   _ Where did they even find horses?   _ I realize he must have planned it this way, had intentionally gone to Declan.  

My brothers both cut a striking figure, with Etiam’s cold beauty and Lucis’s warm countenance.  Etiam is the taller of the two, standing close to Tenebris’s height, with his long, straight blonde hair and pale blue eyes, but it’s clear which one is the leader of the two of them.  Lucis is average height, which still makes him substantially bigger than me, and his wavy golden locks give him a boyish appearance.  He stands straight, his long charcoal grey coat flapping in the wind of the approaching storm.

He smiles, and I find myself drawn toward him.  I haven’t seen him smile like that in years.  “Lucis?” I mutter hopefully, and my twin brother opens his arms to me.  I walk into them and wrap my own around his chest.  “I’ve missed you so much.”  As soon as I say it, I realize it’s true.  Being away from him has been hard.  I feared him showing up, but I believe it might have been more out of a need to stay than a lack of a desire to see him.   _ Is his smile genuine, or is he up to something? _

“I’ve been worried, Sister,” he says, implying much more meaning than the others would have understood.  “I came to see this Inquisition that lured away not one, but two of my siblings.”  He pulls back, but keeps his arm around my shoulder in a protective stance.  It’s familiar, like he had been before Andraste, and my heart aches.   _ Please don’t be an act. _

Declan approaches us.  “Your brothers found us at the dig site.  It seems they’ve been looking for the two of you for quite some time.”

“It was lucky that we saw what they were doing,” Etiam comments.  “The lights drew us in, otherwise we probably would have been lost forever in this awful place.”   _ He means he saw them in the Well, and came looking for me and Tenebris. _

Hawke walks over to Varric, and I see them exchange a greeting.  I wish I could hear what they’re saying, but there will be time enough for that later, I suppose.

“You never told me your brothers are so charming,” Dorian adds.  “Why, I’d wager Lucis here could give even Declan a run for his money.  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, however, after meeting you and Tenebris.”

“Now she wishes they didn’t know,” Cole comments.  “Familiar feelings, frail and fragile, filling the emptiness of what once was whole.  But they  _ do _ know.”

Etiam looks at the spirit, and then back at me.  “He’s talking about you, Sister.  What is it that they know?”   _ Of course, Etiam would make friends with Cole.  So much for hiding anything. _

“I...had a little problem with a fire dragon,” I admit.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Cassandra scoffs.

“Oh Ferox, tell me you didn’t…” Lucis looks at me, concern on his face.

“I had to, Brother.  She’s an  _ elder,  _ so close to ancient I could feel it.  I...didn’t expect it to go like that.  Thank the stars that Tenebris was there to stop me in time.”

“They know, then, about  _ her _ ,” Lucis concludes. 

“Some of them.  And about who we are.”  He hisses and stiffens, but doesn’t remove his arm.

He hugs me again, and says in my ear, “Then I suppose we don’t have to pretend.”

Declan coughs.  “I’m always the last to know things.  I’m clearly missing a large piece of the puzzle here.  Why don’t we all sit down and talk about what happened?”

I look to Lucis, who nods.  “No harm in telling them.  You’ve been with them long enough, I’d be surprised if they thought you were just an ordinary mage at this point.”

We all sit down.  I end up between Tenebris and Lucis, with Etiam on the other side of him.  Varric isn’t anywhere close to me, sitting with Hawke on Declan’s side.

“I guess I’ll start,” I say, leaving my brother’s side to stand up, but once everyone’s eyes are on me, I find myself at a loss for words and the anxious feeling creeping back in.  The silence stretches on for an uncomfortable few seconds.

“Tell them about the Archdemon,” Cassandra commands.

“ _ Archdemon? _ ” Declan blanches.  “I take it we’re  _ not _ talking about Corypheus’s dragon this time?”

“I’m afraid not,” I answer.  “You know that it’s been my mission to save magic by helping the dragons.  Archdemons are just ancient dragons tainted by the Blight.  I wanted to help them, but the manner in which the Grey Wardens kill them...once they are dead, they’re gone for good, and their magic with them.

“The Archdemon Toth rose in 3:10 Towers, beginning the Third Blight.  She was the ancient dragon of fire, the source of all fire magic in the world.  I couldn’t accept that her magic would die with her, and I...took her soul into my body.”

Declan laughs, but stops when he realizes that our group isn’t laughing.  “What, you can’t be serious?  But the Third Blight was over six hundred years ago!”

“Yes, it was.”  My expression doesn’t change.

“But you said that Grey Wardens destroy the dragon when they kill it.  How could you do anything with it six hundred years later?”

“I never said it was six hundred years later.  Declan, I _was_ _there_ when they tried to kill her _._ ”

“Time magic?”  Dorian scorned.  “We all know how well  _ that _ ends up.”

“No, not time magic.  I’m...just that old.”

Hawke’s jaw drops.  “Hold up, you really have a _ dragon soul _ in you?  I guess all those comments about ‘Dragon Girl’ weren’t far off.”

“You’re more concerned about the dragon bit than the fact that Ferox just said she was alive six hundred years ago?” Dorian questions.

“I’m over a thousand, actually,” I respond, smiling wryly.  “Probably closer to thirteen hundred, but I stopped keeping count.”

“He’s not getting it, imp,” Tenebris says, rising to stand next to me.  “It’s alright, just say the words.  It’s the truth, after all.”

I look Declan in the eye.  “My family, the four of us...we are the true gods of ancient Tevinter.”

Declan is quiet for a long while.  No laughter this time, which I take as a good sign, and then he sighs, looking around at the faces of his people.  “I see this isn’t news for some of you.”

“Ferox told Varric and I not long after coming to Skyhold,” Hawke admits.  “I just thought she was crazy back then, but the more I’ve seen…”

I nod.  “Dorian’s translations of the texts and artifacts haven’t been describing some long forgotten imaginary beings.  They were written about  _ us,  _ from when we lived among the humans back then _. _  I  _ am _ Ferox the Destroyer, goddess of primal magic, and I have been alive a  _ very _ long time.  Declan, I’m telling you the truth about who we are.”

I see Dorian flick his eyes to my brother in a surprised glance, and feel a tinge of guilt.   _ Apparently he hadn’t told Dorian.  I’m sorry, Brother. _

I continue, “The reason we have magic that you’ve never seen before is because no one else has practiced it in centuries.  Your spymaster couldn’t find information about us because we’ve been away.”

There is silence for a moment, and I’m not sure what to say next.  I look around at the faces of my companions, the same ones I had teased and joked with on the way here from Skyhold.  Iron Bull is frowning, but silent.  I wonder what he’s thinking.  He doesn’t show his Ben-Hassrath skills very often, but I know he’s far more intelligent than he lets on.  I also know he’s not a big fan of magic “bullshit”, as he calls it, either.

Dorian has his lips pursed together, his brow wrinkled in thought.  I hope that he is trying to process the news, for my brother’s sake, but I understand it’s a lot to take in.  Dorian had been the one with the most information about us, having read the ancient texts; probably more than he had shared with the rest of the group.  Now he’s been told that the fictional people he’s been reading about are real, and the man he’s been pursuing is one of them.

“Tell him the rest, about the temple,” Cassandra says again.

I nod, and inhale in preparation.  “If I had known what that place was, I wouldn’t have gone near that dragon.  It was a shrine to the old god Toth.  She...remembered it, and woke up.”

“The dragon inside you,” Declan clarified.

Tenebris speaks up, “Not  _ just _ a dragon...a  _ corrupted ancient _ dragon, driven mad by the Blight.  We’ve kept her contained for a long time, and have worked to purify some of the corruption, but carrying Toth’s soul affects my sister’s ability to use advanced fire magic.  When she taps into her power, the soul takes notice, and tries to take over.  The madness robs Toth of what concern she once had had for Ferox’s well being.  If she ever manages to take control, Ferox will die and the archdemon will return.”

Declan thinks for a second.  “Then you pose a threat to us all.”

I exhale sharply.   _ Ouch.  Declan has never talked to me that way before.   _ “I’m sorry, Declan.  I should have trusted you with this information before now.”

“There’s more,” Cassandra pushes, looking at Tenebris.

Tenebris shakes his head.  “Fine, I used blood magic, alright?  Pulling out the corruption is painful for Ferox.  I had to bind her, otherwise her power would have created a wave of destruction.”

“I asked him to do it,” I admit.  “I won’t let you turn his helping me into something ugly.”

“It’s okay, Sister.  We’ve spoken the truth.  They will think what they will think.”

I nod.

“Ferox,” Declan says, and I look back up to meet his eyes.  “I’ve known you for months now.  Your heart is definitely in the right place.  You’ve worked hard for the Inquisition.”  He pauses.  “I think it’s clear what our next step needs to be.”

My heart beats in my chest.   _ He’s going to ask me to leave the Inquisition. _

“We need to go back to Skyhold.”   _ What? _  “Cullen and Alistair are working on a strategy to attack the Grey Wardens, to stop their plot.  Etiam, we could use your help.  There will be demons...”  He continues, but the sound is muffled and distorted.   _ Declan just went on like it was nothing? _

“You’re not making me leave?” I ask, interrupting.  “Sorry.”

“No, Ferox.  I’m not sure what to make of this ‘gods’ business, but if it’s true, I have to say I prefer the idea of having you as allies to the alternative.  Either way, if a Blight is a possibility, we will need the Wardens.”

_ To kill me.  Or, rather Toth. _  “It won’t come to that, but I’m on board with saving the Wardens if we can.  Count me in.”

“Sister?” Etiam says, examining my face more closely, a smile threatening to tug at the corners of his mouth.  “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?  I mean y _ ou?   _ Save the  _ Wardens?”   _ The hint of a smile dies a quick death when I don’t react, replaced by a look of realization, and a colder judgement. __ “You’ve changed.”

“Maybe I have,” I admit.   _ As much as I hate the thought of losing the two buried generals, Razikale and Lusacan, the Wardens are still the best chance of stopping another Blight should one occur.  The world needs them. _  I look to Varric and when his eyes meet mine, he smiles.   _ Trust this. _

The storm has horrible timing, hitting us suddenly, and we’re forced to scramble to get into the tents.  Declan’s team hadn’t gotten a chance to get theirs set up before it started, meaning we’re stuck three to a tent again.  The horses have a small pavillion, mostly just a tarp draped over some of the exposed ruins, and I hope they’re okay.  I feel the chill sting of the sandy gale as it blows in.

I instinctively head toward my tent with Varric, but a hand grabs my arm, stopping me.  I look up to see my brother, Lucis, who glances toward Varric where he’s standing with Hawke next to our tent.  He leans in to speak.  “Don’t think I didn’t notice, Sister.  We’re not through talking about this.”  His voice is harsh, in contrast to his earlier kindness; but he lets go, and follows Tenebris to the tent he’s been sharing with Frederic.

Varric holds the flap open for me when I get there, and we tie it down quickly, trying to keep as much of the blowing sand out of the tent as possible.  The howling intensifies, and I try to calm my own emotions.  I’m fairly certain this one is of my doing, or I at least started it.

“What was that about just now?” Varric asks, having to speak a little loudly to be heard over the wind.

“I think Lucis figured it out.  Us, that is,” I say, gesturing between the two of us.

“Ah, well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  We’ll handle it tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I should have known better than to think I could hide anything from my twin.  But how did we wind up stuck with the octopus again?” I grumble, looking at Garrett. 

“Hey, I’m not going back out there,” he says.  “I’ll behave myself this time.  Honestly, I’m a little scared of you right now, Dragon Girl.”

I laugh.  “Just stay off my hair,” I tease.  “I’m pretty sure this storm is settling in for a while.”

“Hey, those stories said you could control the weather. Is that true?” Garrett asks.

I wince.  “Well, sort of.  I think this one is probably one of mine, but I can’t usually tell for sure.  When it happens, it feels is like the storm inside me calls to the clouds, causing them to gather.  It tends to do that when I get upset…and it’s been a rough couple of days for me.”

“So you can’t stop it?”

“No, and I’m calmer now.  I’m fairly certain I’m not adding to it anymore.  This is just the natural storm taking over.  There’s nothing to do but wait it out.”

Varric says, “Then we might as well try to get some sleep if we can.”


	46. Connected

Chapter Forty-Six: Connected

 

When I wake in the middle of the night I find that the storm has died down.  I also find myself snug in between Varric and Hawke.   _ Damned octopus. _  Thankfully, I had taken a few precautions last night, tying my hair up out of the way so that he wouldn’t end up on top of it like last time, and tucking the blankets in firmly under me.  This means that although he was next to me, Hawke isn’t touching the lower part of my body directly, at least. I have to admit, though, the storm made things rather cold, and the shared body heat is nice.  Determined to ignore Hawke’s arm around my midsection, and knowing he would only put it back once he was sleeping again anyway, I let myself go back to sleep.

When next I open my eyes, the light of dawn is peeking in our tent.  I tilt my head to look at Varric and see he’s already awake.  He smiles at me, slow and sleepy, and looks over at Hawke.  “Sorry,” he whispers.  “If he wasn’t the best friend I’ve ever had, I’d be introducing him to Bianca right now.”

“Varric, love, if you really meant that,  _ you’d _ be the one in the middle.”

He chuckles.  “You caught me.  I’ve traveled with Hawke enough to know what he’s like.”

To punctuate this point, Hawke shifts in his sleep, pulling me closer.  “Bela,” he mumbles next to my ear.

“Oh, no,” I say, pushing at him.  “ _ Not _ Bela.”  Turning to look at him, I see his eyes open to half-slits.

“Ferox?” he asks groggily.  “Why are we…?  Oh.”

Varric shakes his head.  “Are you done manhandling my girl?”

“Yeah,” I add.  “Only dwarfhandling is allowed.”

They both laugh, and Hawke moves back to his side of the tent, stretching.  “I didn’t keep you from sleeping, did I?” he asks hesitantly.

“Nah, you’re like sleeping next to the fire - cozy warm.  In fact, I was thinking about asking Varric if we can move you into our place when we get to Kirkwall.”

“Maker forbid,” Hawke says.

We all laugh again, cut off by Declan’s voice from outside the tent.  “It seems the three of you are as lively as ever.  Time to get up, we need to get moving.”

I sigh.  “More riding through the empty desert.  Can’t wait.”  I stand up and do a little stretching of my own.

Hawke gathers his things and goes to the tent flap first.  He stops, turning to us.  “Seriously, I’m glad you two were able to work through things.  It’s good to see you both happy.”

Varric grins.  “Yeah, well, I’ll take happy.”

I smile, remembering saying the same words to him.  Garrett ducks, exiting the tent.

Once he’s gone, Varric whispers in my ear.  “I’d like to make you happy tonight.  Think we can get away?”

Instant arousal blossoms. “Absolutely,” I reply, and kiss him.  I hate that we don’t have time for it to be more, but the others are already moving about.  We disassemble our sleeping tent, pack up, and join the others.  My brothers are already there with Declan.

“That was some storm,” Tenebris comments with a knowing look.  

I shrug.  “We all made it through alright.”

“Well,” Declan interjects. “We  _ did _ lose two of the horses in the night.”  

“Darkforge?” I ask anxiously.

“No, your stallion is fine.  But now we don’t have enough mounts again.  We’ll have to-”

“That won’t be necessary,” Lucis asserts.  “We have our own way of traveling.  I need to speak with my sister anyway.  We can meet you back at Skyhold.”   _ So much for my time with Varric.   _ I look to Varric, and he frowns, understanding.

“Tell me about this means of travel,” the Inquisitor states.

“It’s magic,” I explain, surprised my brother would mention it.  “Limited trips and only one or two people at a time, but it allows instantaneous travel.”

“Then you can return to Skyhold before us.  Fantastic.  I’ll send a copy of the mission report with you.”

“I...alright, Declan,” I agree.  “And who should I deliver it to?”

“Any of my advisors, although Leliana always likes to read them first, of course.”

“As any good spymaster would,” Lucis comments.

Declan looks at Etiam.  “Etiam, you’re staying, yes?  I’d like to talk to you about our strategy for handling the demons.”

“Very well,” he says.  “I can devise a few tactics to maximize your chances, but I’ll need to know more about your available resources.”

Declan nods.  “Of course.”

“Sounds like you’ll be busy, Brother.  Declan, don’t let him talk your ear off about spirits.  If he gets troublesome, just send him out with Cole for a while.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” the Inquisitor replies.  “Tenebris, will you be staying?”

“Yes, I think I’ll travel with you for now.” He gives me an apologetic look.   _ I know, brother, you want to talk to Dorian.  I hope you get your chance. _

Lucis nods.  “The two of us leaving will be enough to make up for the two lost mounts.  Get your things, Ferox.”

I walk over to where Varric is still standing, talking to Garrett.  “Varric, I need to go with my brother for now, but I’ll be back, I promise.  And…” I lean in to whisper in his ear.  “This way, I’ll be moved into your room by the time you get back.”

He sighs in frustration.  “Even with your brother, I wish I was going with you.”

“Sorry.  I want to kiss you goodbye, but I haven’t really talked to him yet, and-”

“It’s alright, Firefly.  We’ll see each other soon enough.”

“Yeah,  _ very _ soon,” I reply with a subtle wiggle of my finger.  I see that he’s picked up on it when he smiles a little wider.

“First round at the Herald’s Rest is on you when we get back, then, right?” Hawke asks with a cheeky grin.

I nod.  “Why not?  See you, Garrett.”

Grabbing my things I move to stand next to Lucis.  Declan hands me the mission report, and I place it in my bag.  “I’m ready,” I tell Lucis.

He puts a hand on my shoulder and leans in, “Not going to kiss your dwarf goodbye?  You might never see him again.”  My eyes fly open in shock, and with that, the world blurs away.

*             *             *

The Watcher’s Well comes into focus and I know I’m home in the Black City.  I turn to Lucis, shrugging his hand off my shoulder.  “ _ You might never see him again? _  What was that about?”

“The sooner you realize the truth the better.”  Gone is the pleasant smile from before, replaced by his usual serious expression.

“And what truth is that, exactly?”

“That it’s all pointless.”

_ What?   _ “What do you mean, Lucis?  I’m making a real difference with the Inquisition.  I know it wasn’t perfect, but I saved an elder dragon.”

“You don’t need the Inquisition to help the dragons.  You don’t need  _ him _ .”

Realization dawns on me.  “So this  _ is _ about Varric, after all.”

“The dwarf is just one of your little impulses.  I’m sure this infatuation with him will pass.  They’re like insects, here and gone in the blink of an eye...so fragile.”  There’s an edge to his words that grates at me.

“How  _ dare _ you!  You don’t understand anything.  I  _ love _ him.”

“ _ I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING?!”  _ he shouts, and moves to lean in. __ “I understand better than anyone else could.  This is a waste of your time and energy.  End it.”

“No.  I didn’t stop you with Andraste.”

I don’t see it coming, and, had anyone told me it was going to happen, I wouldn’t have believed them.   _ My brother slapped me. _  I stagger back a couple of steps, mouth agape, hurt far more emotionally than physically.  Lucis looks at me, and his anger is gone, replaced with helplessness.  I see half-formed tears shining in his pale blue eyes.

“Oh no...Sister, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.  Forgive me.”  His warm arms wrap around me, and in my shock, I allow it.  “You’re the most precious thing in the world to me.  I just got so scared.  I can’t imagine losing you.  Please don’t be angry.”

I take a shaky breath.  Lucis hasn’t said this much about his feelings in a long time.  While I’m in no way okay with what he just did, I don’t want to lose his open honesty, either.  I can feel our twin connection again for the first time in centuries.  “I’ll forgive you for this, once, but there  _ won’t _ be a second time.”

He nods.

“I know you’re worried, but you’re important to me too, Lucis.  Do you realize that today is the first day I’ve seen you smile in forever?  It made me so happy, it was like having you back - the real you.”

“I’m sorry for that too,” he says.  He pauses for a few seconds before adding, “Ferox, I...I wish you  _ had _ stopped me with Andraste.”  The last comes out on a choked sob.  I pull him in close.

“Oh Lucis...do you want to sit down?” I ask, realizing we’re still standing where we’d first entered, surrounded by our things.

“Would it be alright if we lay in your bed, like we used to when we were kids?”.

I nod.  “Of course.  Let me get changed, and you can join me in a couple of minutes.”

Some might think it’s weird, a brother and sister wanting to lay in the same bed, but Lucis and I had been born together, had shared a womb.  It always felt natural for us to be near each other.  Many nights we would fall asleep holding hands.  When Lucis became distant, I think it might be the part I missed the most.

I change quickly into a set of loose-fitting pants and a long-sleeved shirt, something suitable for resting, before opening the door again.  I see that he has also dressed comfortably.  

“Thank you for coming back with me,” he says, hugging me again, “and for staying.”

We lay down on the bed, facing each other, our hands clasped together.  The feeling is warm and nostalgic, reminiscent of countless nights spent in the same fashion.  I never thought I’d see this side of him again.  “I can feel our connection again,” I tell him, smiling, letting him know my thoughts.

“I don’t want to shut you out anymore; it was wrong.  You’re the most important thing to me.  I was just trying protect you.”

“Protect me?  But all I wanted was to be there for you, to help you.”

“It was hurting you.”

“The distance was worse.  I love you, you know.”  I reach up to stroke his short blonde locks.  “I felt like I couldn’t do anything, like there was always a piece of me missing.”

“Losing her still hurts; I still remember every bit of it.  I get so angry,” he confesses, and my heart breaks for him.

“You don’t have to be perfect.  You’re not ‘the Maker’ here.  You’re just my brother, who lost his beloved.  It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”

He pulls me closer, and I feel the wetness of tears against my hair.  “I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to you, Ferox.  You’ve always been the best of all of us.”

“The others want to be there for you too,” I remind him.

I feel him nod.  “Yeah...but I’m glad it’s just us today.”

I settle my arms around him.  “Me too.”

We stay there for what feels like hours, just happy to be reconnected, neither one of us wanting to break the silence.  After a while, I hear his breathing deepen, and I know he’s fallen asleep.  The emotions from earlier had probably exhausted him.   _ I should let him rest. _

I slip out of bed, and pull the covers up around his sleeping form.  He looks so young and innocent relaxed in sleep, the lines of tension gone from his face.  I’m happy he opened up to me, but I remember that expression he had when he smacked me, and Tenebris’s words come back to me.  Tenebris believes Corypheus had help from our family.   _ Could it be you, Lucis?  I would have thought Etiam more capable.  Shit, am I seriously considering the possibility that one of my brothers is helping the magister?  Maybe the generals will know more. _

I quickly change, putting on a set of gray armor.  It’s serviceable, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Feeling a bit more confident, I leave the room, closing the door as quietly as I can.  With Tenebris and Etiam gone, the corridors of our home seem empty and dark.  But, I’ve lived here for so long I could easily navigate the numerous hallways with my eyes closed.  I make my way down a few sets of stairs, to the giant cavern.  I send a tendril of magic to the crystal in the ceiling, and the enormous chamber is illuminated.  Out of mercy for their forced isolation, we allowed the ancient dragons to take the deep sleep of hibernation.  Most of the generals are sleeping at any given time, but at least one remains awake to communicate with us, and to wake the others if we have need of them.

**“Ferox?”** a voice calls from deep in the shadows.

“Tempestas, is that you?  You’re awake!” I cry, running forward.  She steps forward.  She’s  _ my _ dragon and my dearest friend, the ancient dragon of lightning.  I’ve bonded more with her than any of the others, and my heart surges at seeing her again.  She resembles the Gamordan Stormrider, with her beautiful white markings, and the purple light of magic radiating from her skin.  She lowers her head to look at me.

**“You’re back.”**

“Yes, I’m home, for now.”  I reach up and she allows me to stroke the side of her scaled cheek.   _ I’ve missed her. _

**“What troubles you, Ferox Stormbringer?”** the ancient dragon asks, tilting her head in question.

Removing my hand, I pace a few steps away.  “I’m worried about Lucis.” 

Tempestas slowly nods her head in understanding, drawing my attention back to her.   **“He was most distraught about your disappearance.  He even sought me out.  It was not yet my turn to be awake, but he wished my counsel.”**

“Did he mention anything to you about Corypheus?”

**“The magister?  No,”** she says with a shake of her head.   **“He mostly asked about you, about how you have fared, and about what I thought would help bring you back.”**

“Oh,” I say.  I realize I’m making her look down for too long, and I remember how she used to complain about it making her neck hurt.  A low wall hugs the interior of her den, and a small step ladder provides easy access to the perch.  I make my way up the ladder and sit in the cushioned seat atop the wall, my short legs dangling over the side before continuing, “He was different when he showed up to see me, more like the old Lucis.  He smiled at me.   _ Smiled,  _ Tempestas.  But, I don’t know if I can believe in it.”

**“He loves you.  That much I know.”** Her voice is gentle, and I remember her telling me the same thing many times over the years.  It hadn’t had much impact back then, but today the words are welcome.

I smile.  “I know that.  And I want to help him too, but, Tempestas...so much has happened since last we spoke.”

Her large head moves closer.   **“Tell me everything,”** she encourages.


	47. Home

Chapter Forty-Seven: Home

Having someone to talk to is welcome, and Tempestas and I spend the next couple of hours discussing what has happened since I left the Black City to join the Inquisition.

**“I never thought you would forgive the humans for what they did,”** she says, and although a dragon can’t really smile, her voice softens, and I know she is pleased.

“These aren’t the magisters who betrayed us back then in their greed.  I’d forgotten what it felt like to be connected to them, and to teach.  I’ve been  teaching again, Tempestas,” I announce.

I notice Lucis standing in the doorway.  “Teaching them is also pointless.”

“Are we back to that?” I ask, hurt creeping into my tone.  “I thought we were understanding one another.”

He sighs, and walks over to me.  “I want us to be a family again.  We can save the world together.”  His eyes shine with hope in a way that I remember from so long ago.

I smile.  “If you mean that, then _ help _ me.  I’m going back; nothing you can say is going to change that, but it doesn’t mean that I love you any less.  We’re still family, Lucis;  you’re the other half of me.  Come with me; join the Inquisition.”

I can see he is troubled, confusion warring on his face, and he doesn’t look me in the eye for a moment.  Finally, he meets my gaze.  “Alright, I’ll go to Skyhold with you, for a time.”

I smile broadly, and throw my arms around him in a hug.  “You won’t regret this.  I think you’ll like some of the people there and...oh...I should probably tell you.  Fen’Harel is with the Inquisition.”   


The frown lines reappear on his youthful features.  “I know,” he says.  “Tenebris told me.”

“I’ve called a truce for now.  He says he’s trying to seal the Breach.  I don’t have a problem with it if that is his goal.  He’s agreed to stay out of my way in saving the dragons, as well.”

Lucis just nods.

I turn to Tempestas.  “I hate to leave you so soon, but we should probably go tomorrow.”

**“I understand.  You will return, of course,”** she says, her head dipping a little, letting me know her disappointment.

“I will.  I’ll still have my travel ring.  I will return when I can.”  This seems to satisfy her, and she nods.

Lucis’s mouth draws into a thin line.  “Why must it be tomorrow?  The Inquisitor and his caravan will not return for weeks yet.”

“I’d like to help Alistair and Cullen plan their attack.” A thought occurs to me.  “Oh, maybe we could see something of the Grey Wardens in the Well?” I suggest.

“Shall we go watch the foolish humans, then?” he asked, smiling kindly at me.   _ Like we used to. _

“I’d like that.  But first...I’m starving.”

*             *             *

Lucis laughs at something we see in the Well, and I’m taken back eight hundred years. Every reaction that reminds me of the old Lucis is like a weight lifted from my shoulders.  My brother is coming back to Skyhold with me, and he’s  _ laughing again. _  Today couldn’t be any better.  The day wears on, with no sign of Corypheus or the Wardens in the Well.  I’m about to give up when the scene shifts.

Soldiers.  Soldiers adorned in blue and silver, with winged helmets and shields.   _ Grey Wardens, this is it. _  They are marching through what is clearly the desert, but to what?  

“Do you know that place, Brother?” I ask, not taking my eyes off the Well.  “Is that the Western Approach?”

“I’m not certain...wait, that’s the area outside of Adamant Fortress.  I can just make out the griffon statues in the distance.”

“Adamant, huh?  Lively place.  The ground is already scarred and the Veil worn down to almost nothing there...well, I guess that fits what the Wardens and the Venatori are trying to do.”

“What’s that?” he asks.

“They're summoning demons,” I say, sighing and shaking my head.  “Idiots.  Corypheus is behind this, I know it.  I need to tell the Inquisition about this.  It wasn’t that long ago that I watched Adamant, when Pharamond made his discovery that shook the world.  I think I remember a bit of the layout of the place.”

“I bet that  _ would _ be useful to them.  But you should stay out of the actual fight.”

“What?  Why?” I look at him sharply.

“I don’t like you putting yourself at risk like that.  Advise them if you want, but you should remain behind when they siege the place.”

“You know something,” I state.

He hesitates.  “Yes,” he admits.  “I’ve been watching them for a while, when I was using the Well to look for you.  This Erimond, the Venatori leader that they’ve allied themselves with, is quite crafty, and I have no doubt that he’s allied with Corypheus.  There’s no telling what a desperate magister with Corypheus’s backing will do.  I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I chuckle shake my head.  “You’re just being protective.  I can handle one little human and a few demons on my own if I had to, no matter how weak the Veil is, and I’ll have my brothers there, anyway.  So stop worrying.”  I poke him in the forehead.  He laughs, and waves my hand away.

“It’s good to have you back,” he says.

“That’s supposed to be my line,” I tell him.  “I’ve missed this.  Missed you.”

He smiles.  “I’m going to head off to pack a few things and then I’m going to bed.  You wanted to leave in the morning, right?”

I nod.  “Pack warm.  Skyhold is freezing.”

“Noted.  Goodnight, Sister.”

I watch him leave.  I stay at the Well for a few more minutes, wishing it would show me Varric, but I know that one dwarf is unlikely to have that big of an impact to catch the Well’s attention.   _ I miss you too, love. _  I look at my ring.  It’s fully charged.  I could go see him and come back, and even after the trip to Skyhold I’d still have one left.  Grinning, I stand up.

The Well flashes, but doesn’t disconnect.  I look back, and I’m shocked to see him standing there.  He and Hawke are talking on the outskirts of camp.   _ Varric _ .  I wish he could hear me.  I would have left my pendant with him, but it requires magic to use.   _ But I could give it to Hawke; why didn’t I think of that before? _  A plan clearly in my head, I go to my room, searching, and see another locket similar to the one I carry.  I return quickly to the Well, and retrieve a little of the water.  Back in my room once more, I lock the door behind me...and transport myself to right behind Varric and Hawke.

“Hey boys,” I say cheerfully, and giggle when they jump.

“Firefly! you about gave me a heart attack!”  

I laugh harder.  “Stars, the look on your faces!”

“You’re back?  I thought you were going with your brother?” Garrett asks.

“I did.  Lucis is doing better than I’ve seen him in a really long time,” I say with a smile.  “Today has been amazing, actually.  We’re going to Skyhold in the morning, but I promised Varric a visit.”

“Yeah,” he grumbles, “it was supposed to be a  _ secret _ visit.  I didn’t exactly expect you to just show up in the middle of camp.”

“Well, I had planned to just show up in your tent, but I have a present for Hawke that can’t wait.”

“Something for me?”  Garrett asks.  “What is it?”

I pull out the pendant.  “You remember seeing me use my communication magic, right?”

“You’d just give me this?” he questions, a wrinkle in his brow.

“Well, Varric can’t use magic.  It would be useless to him.  And, seeing as you’re his best friend, this is a way that we can still communicate if we need to.”

“I don’t have any idea how to use this thing,” he states.

“I’ll show you.  It’s really quite simple.  Here, I’ll open mine.  It contains a liquid, so you have to lay it flat.  I usually just hold it in my hand, but you don’t want the water to run out, so be careful.”

I hold the pendant in my hand and open it.  “Then you connect to the Fade, just like if you were preparing to cast a spell.  But don’t actually focus on any spells, just the magic.  Then put it in the water.  That will open the connection.  To end it, you just let go.”

The blue light from my pendant reflects on our gathered faces in the dark.  “Try it.”

He opens it, holding it in his palm, the same as I’m still doing.  I see the magic build, but it’s not going for the pendant.  “Imagine the magic as having tentacles like an octopus.  Should be easy for you.”

Varric chuckles behind me.  Hawke smiles, but maintains his concentration.  “Magic tentacles...okay, Ferox.”

“Yes, perfect, that’s it, now picture the tentacle reaching for the pendant, not to grab it, just to touch it.”

The blue light bursts into being, and I see my own image projected from the magic liquid.  Hawke gives a quiet cheer.  “That’s...remarkable,” he says on an exhalation.

“Okay, Garrett, the more advanced stuff.  If you open it, and call my name, my own pendant will light up.  The same goes for you, if you see the pendant glow, it means someone is trying to reach you.  Lay it flat, open it, and start the connection.  Got it?”

“I think so...you said I ‘let go’ to close it?” he asks.

“Draw the magic from the pendant, reform the tentacle, and pull it back toward you.”

The blue light extinguishes from his pendant; I do the same, casting us back into the dim light from the fire.

“Ferox?” a voice calls from behind me.  “You’re back already?”

I turn to look, and see my brother standing nearby.  “Hey Tenebris.  Not really.  Just dropping off a present.”

He sees the pendant in Hawke’s hand and he nods.  “Having someone else that can talk to you is a good idea if we get separated.  How is Lucis?”

“He smiled and laughed today, Tenebris.”

“Truly?”  He sighs, and smiles.  “You’re good for him.  I’m glad you’re going back.”

“Me too.  See you soon.”

Tenebris nods, and heads back toward the fire.  I know he’ll try to keep anyone else from figuring out I’m here. 

Varric catches my eye, and I smile broadly at him.

Hawke clears his throat.  “I’ll just...um, go back over there.  See you, Ferox.”

I chuckle, but take Varric’s hand as he leads me back into the tent we had shared for so many nights.  

“So...we can’t go anywhere, can we?” he asks, pointing to his finger in a gesture I understood to be about my travel ring.

“Afraid not.  I have to go back home, and Lucis and I will be going to Skyhold tomorrow.”

“Then I guess we’d better be quiet,” he whispers, grinning.

“Oh.  Right,” I blush, suddenly shy at the thought of someone hearing us.  I look and see he’s only put out one bedroll.  But I guess I’m not really spending the night here.

Varric sits on the bedroll, and lays down, gesturing for me to join him.  I secure the tent flap and move to straddle him. When I lean in to kiss him, his stubble scratches against my skin.

“Mn, you smell really good,” he whispers.

“Shh,” I tell him with a low chuckle.  I move downward until I’m over his legs and work at the fastenings of his trousers.  I look up to see him watching me with a heated gaze.  I grin.  “You’re going to have to try to stay quiet, love.”

*             *             *

I awaken in my room back in the Black City with a sigh.  I wish I’d been able to stay with Varric.  I’ve gotten so used to sleeping in his arms that it was difficult falling asleep alone.   _ Soon.  I’ll see you again soon, my love. _  I’m glad I went.  Knowing that Hawke can use the pendant now makes me feel a little better.  If something happens and they need me, he’ll let me know.

I dress in another set of gray armor, this one lighter, almost silver in color, with accents of pale blue.  I braid my hair in one long loose braid, allowing the rebellious curls to do what they like.  I look at my image and realize my lips are pinker than they should be again.   _ That dwarf and his kisses. _  I shake my head and cast the healing magic.  I’m glad I do, because immediately after, there’s a knock at the door.

“Ferox?  Are you awake?” Lucis calls.

I go and open the door.  “Good morning, Brother.  Yes, I was just finishing getting dressed.  I want to go see Tempestas again before we go.”

“We should eat something, as well.”

“That’s a fantastic idea.  Oh, if we eat at the main keep, don’t drink the wine.  Declan keeps serving this awful stuff,” I inform him with a smile.  “I think he might be doing it on purpose now.”

“You go on to see your dragon.  I’ll prepare something for breakfast.”

“You’re the best.” 


	48. The Advisors

Chapter Forty-Eight: The Advisors

 

Lucis and I are standing in the courtyard, our bags in our hands.  _ Skyhold.  I can’t believe I actually missed this frigid place.  I think it’s growing on me.  I wonder if they ever fixed that hole in the wall near the War Room? _

“Hey, it’s Dragon Girl!” a voice calls.

“Hello Threnn. Greeting people again, I see.”

“Yeah,” she sighs.  “But who’s this?  A new recruit?” She looks at Lucis.

“Maybe, we’ll see,” I answer.  “This is another one of my brothers, Lucis.”  He nods his head in a small bow.  I continue, “We have urgent information for Sister Leliana.  Do you know where I can find her?”

“I think they’re all in the War Room.  Heard something about a meeting, anyway,” she answers.

“Thanks.”

We walk toward the main keep.  “Do you want to go see the advisors with me?  They can be a bit of a handful, and I’m sure this report has all the details of my most recent fiasco.”

He touches my arm.  “I’m not leaving you to face them alone,” he says, looking around him.  “The whole idea of this place was designed around me and Andraste.  I’d like to see to it that they’re not dragging my family’s name through the mud, especially when you’ve done nothing but try to help.”

“Yeah...are you okay being here?  I guess it probably makes you think about her. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“I think so.  They do seem to revere her, or at least a version of what she might have become, given the chance.  It could be worse.”

“It’s taken some getting used to for me, too.  Lucis, you should probably know, they use your name and hers when cursing.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“At least Fen’Harel gets it from the elves, too.  I’ve heard ‘may the Dread Wolf take you’ a few times around here.”

Lucis shrugs.  “That doesn’t really help, but it’s a nice reminder of how much has been twisted or forgotten.  Let’s go get this meeting over with.”

I nod, and we climb the stairs to the main hall.  I don’t see anyone I know, thankfully, but I bet Vivienne is watching from her perch on the upper level, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Leliana has already been made aware of our presence.  I take the door on the left that I know leads to the War Room, passing through the cozy room that belongs to Josephine, and into the hallway beyond.  Sure enough, the hole is still there.  The War Room door is unlocked, so we enter.

The three advisors are standing near the War Table, but the conversation stops as soon as the door opens.

“Ferox?” Cullen asks, surprised.  “How?  You’re not due back for weeks.”

“Long story...but I have a mission report from Declan.  You should probably read it before we start answering questions.”

“We?” Josephine asks.  “Is this one of the brothers?”

I nod.  “This is the eldest, Lucis.”

“The twin,” Leliana clarifies.

“Yes,” Lucis answers with a smile, and gives a deeper bow than he had given Threnn in the courtyard.  “Before we speak of other matters, I want to thank you for taking care of Ferox and Tenebris.  They are both...prone to acting first and thinking later.”

I look downward, studying my toes for a moment.  Cullen already knows a little about me, but the others don’t.   _ I hate these awkward bits, and I just want it to be over. _  I hand the report to Leliana.  “I haven’t read it, I promise, but things happened while we were out there, and it probably talks a lot about me and my family.  I would like to know what it says so that I can know what questions you’ll have.”

“Ferox?  What’s wrong?” Cullen asks.

“Just read the report, then we’ll talk.”

“Very well, Ferox,” Josephine states.  She looks at Leliana, who has already started reading.  Her expression remains blank, but she glances up at me a few times.  It must be pretty damning.   _ Why would Declan have me deliver this?  Was it a test?  To see if I returned to the Inquisition or ran away?   _ I bite my lip nervously waiting for their reactions.

Leliana sets the paper down and looks at me.  “I want to believe that this is fabricated...but no.  That is his handwriting, and he and I have a secret code so that I know his reports are genuine.  You would not have known it, but it is here.  This is from the Inquisitor.”

“I don’t even know what it says,” I assure her.  “I only assumed it mentioned me and my family because of what happened out there in the Hissing Wastes with the dragon.”

Jospehine comments, “You made it to the Hissing Wastes?  But you could not possibly have gone there and be back by now.  Not even the fastest horses could have made the journey that quickly.”  She reads the report, her eyes widening, then hands it to Cullen.

“Many things are possible with magic when you know what you’re doing,” I answer.

Cullen sighs as he reads, but when he’s done gives a small smile.  “You told them about being a goddess, then?”

Leliana turns to him.  “You knew about this?  Why didn’t you say something?”

“Would you have believed it?” he asks.  She crosses her arms over her chest, and her brow furrows in contemplation.

I ask, “Will you let me read it or tell me what it says now?”

Leliana nods.  “It details the Seeker’s account of your encounter with the dragon, and the accusation that you possess the soul of an archdemon.  __ That your younger brother was found to be performing blood magic, and that your family all claim to be gods.  It sounds like nonsense.”

I look her in the eye.  “I swear, everything there is the truth.  We were worshipped as gods by the humans in Tevinter long ago; we are all over a thousand years old; and I have a dragon’s soul.  The blood magic was cast on me at my request.  It was a binding spell to keep me from unleashing a dangerous wave of magic, or turning into an Archdemon while he helped me.  It was necessary.”

“How  _ did _ you get here so fast?” Cullen asks.

I glance at Lucis, who nods.

“A very complicated spell, used to enchant an item,” I answer, toying with the ring on my finger.  “It allows for instantaneous travel for one or two people, but we can’t use it very often as it’s limited and must recharge.  It’s why Declan asked me to bring the message directly instead of sending it through his usual means.”

Cullen turns to Leliana.  “It matches what it says.”  She nods, still seeming to ponder her thoughts.

I ask hesitantly, “What do you mean?  Cullen, what else does it say?”

Cullen reads aloud.  “And if Ferox delivers this herself, the timeliness of the delivery will offer sufficient proof to these statements.  If this task is accomplished, then it is my wish that Ferox and her family be welcomed into the Inquisition.”

_ I can’t believe it. _  “Oh, Declan, thank you,” I whisper.

Josephine is quiet for a moment, thoughtful.  “Tevinter gods working with the Herald of Andraste.  I...I’m sure there’s some way we can use this information.”

“That part doesn’t interest me; I’m not here for diplomacy, ambassador.  Besides, we’ve seen how awful I am at social niceties.  You can tell or not tell whomever you like.  My mission here hasn’t changed.”

“You wish to save the dragons,” Josephine responds.

I nod.  “Well yes, but ultimately I want to save the world.”

That gets a smile out of her, as well as Cullen.  She says, “That’s a mission I believe we can all get behind.”

Lucis reaches out and puts his hand on my shoulder.  I look over at him.

“What was his speciality again?” Leliana asks.  

“Creation magic,” I tell him.

“I’m a healer,” Lucis adds, “and I’m good with plants and animals.”

“All very useful talents,” Cullen nods.  “We normally would have you tested by Fiona just to determine your abilities, but if Ferox and Tenebris are any indication of your potential, that would probably end up being a waste of time.”

“I’d like to return to teaching while I’m here,” I announce.  “I was helping some of the mages before I left, and I want to see how they’re progressing.”

“But if you have the Taint, would it be safe?  Even I know the Blight sickness is contagious,” Josephine states, her pretty brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Are we talking about a plague?” Leliana asks.

“No,” Lucis assures her.  “It’s not Ferox’s body that’s sick.  We’ve been able to keep the corruption at bay for centuries.”

“Of course,” Cullen acknowledges.  “I hear the mages spoke highly of your lessons.  We’ve had some new recruits, quite a few of whom are apprentices that never made it to their Harrowings in their Circles before the rebellion started.  I’m sure they would greatly benefit from your instruction.  Lucis, will you be teaching, as well?”   


He stiffens.  “No.  I...have had bad experiences with pupils in the past.  I’m not sure how long I will be staying, truthfully, but I wanted to see the Inquisition for myself before I made any judgements about it.  I would be happy to offer my skills as a healer during my stay.”

“We would be foolish not to accept,” he confirms.  “Healers are always in short enough supply.”

“And Lucis is the best there is,” I say proudly.

“I think we need to consider the risk that this archdemon could pose,” Leliana interrupts. “I was  _ there _ when the Hero slew the archdemon.  They are nightmare made flesh.”

I nod, and announce,  “I agree.”  Everyone turns to look at me.  “It  _ shouldn’t _ happen.  It only occurs when I try to use complex fire magic, which I have no intention of doing again anytime soon.  I’ve already planned to speak to Alistair about it.”

Lucis frowns at me with concern.  “You were going to arrange for a Grey Warden to  _ kill _ you?  Oh Sister.”  He wraps his arm around me in a gesture of comfort.  “Toth will stay restrained.  We’ll see to it,” he promises.

“I know, but it’s good to have a backup plan.”

Josephine sighs.  “It is a most unpleasant thought, but I am glad you are being reasonable about it.”

“Alistair, not Blackwall?” Cullen asks.

“Alistair has given me reason to trust him.  I barely know Blackwall.”   _ Not to mention he’s not even a Grey Warden _ .  This seems to satisfy Cullen, as he nods.

Leliana speaks up.  “Ferox, may I speak with you privately?”

I look at her.   _ I’m not going to like what she has to say. _  “Yes, but I have something else to tell you all first.”

I have the attention of everyone in the room.  I take a deep breath.  “I know where the Wardens are hiding.  They’ve taken over an old Grey Warden fortress called Adamant in the Western Approach.”

Leliana smiles.  “That matches the intel that Hawke gathered following Erimond’s men from the Tevinter ruin.”

“Oh, you already knew about it,” I say.   _ I thought I’d be bringing them news.  Of course, Leliana’s spy network has information. _

“Yes, but your answer tells me that you are trying to be truthful and forthcoming, at least,” she responds.

*             *             *

I climb the stairs one at a time after Leliana, and I can’t help but wonder what questions she’ll have for me this time.  I remember that this is the woman who had played up on Varric’s insecurity and made him doubt my intentions toward him. But when I look at it rationally, I can’t summon any anger about it.  If someone else had gotten close with my family, I would want to know who that person was what and that they were after, as well.  And Varric loves me,  _ accepted _ me after learning my darkest secret.  Nothing will shake my trust in him now.  Not my brother, and certainly not this former Chantry sister.

Lucis went to meet with Fiona to fill her in on his abilities, but it was clear he would likely be working with the Inquisition’s surgeon, healing the injured and ill.  I hope it will help him feel useful, connected to the people more.  I’ll need to check on him later.  But first, my talk with the spymaster.

We reach the top level, and she surprises me by opening the door to an outside walkway.  I follow.  Leliana leans against the stone railing and speaks while looking out over the interior of Skyhold.  “According to the stories, you’ve been alive since before the rise of the Tevinter Imperium, yes?”

I nod. “Longer than that, but yes.”

She’s quiet for a moment before softly saying, “Then you were alive when she was...Andraste, that is.”  

“Yes.”  I smile.   _ I think I know what she wants to talk about now. _

“I’m still not sure if I believe your story, but I would like to know your answers to a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

“Alright, I’ll answer whatever you ask, but please make sure you  _ want _ the answers before you ask.”

“Did you know of Andraste back then?”

_ Careful.   _ “Yes.”

“What was she like?”

“Brave, determined, loved dogs...oh, and a little crazy.”

“What?!  Are you are implying that you knew her  _ personally _ ?”

I nod.  “I did.  She was traumatized by something early in life, an incident that happened with her sister.  I hear she was different before then, but she was also a natural leader, a good-hearted person, and she loved the Maker very much.”

She purses her lips.  “Do you believe the Maker really abandoned his people?”

“Not completely, no.  I believe he’s still watching, thinking about returning.”   _ In fact, he came here to get a closer look. _

“Yes, I believe that also.  The Chantry called my beliefs heresy, that one such as I could feel his will…”

“Ah yes, your vision.”

She pauses again, looking at me before continuing.  “Seeing the dream of the darkness swallowing everything is what helped me have the courage to leave with the Warden.  I have only told a few people about my vision, but I suppose it is not unthinkable that you learned about it through one of them.”

“No, none of your circle divulged your secrets, at least not to me.  I have to admit, though, it took me longer than it should have to realize that you were the same Leliana I remember from Lothering.  You’ve changed.”

“You knew me?  I think I would remember you.”

“No, we never met before Skyhold.  Back home, we have a way of observing important events that happen here.  It’s how I knew where the Wardens were, and how I knew that the Inquisition was hunting dragons. It’s where I saw first saw you.”

“How do I know that any of what you say is true?”

“Ask me a question about that day that no one else would know.”

She’s quiet again, thoughtful.  “If you were watching, then you will know what I did first when I woke from the dream, yes?”

_ Ah yes.   _ “You pulled the blankets up from the bottom and examined your feet before getting up.”

Her jaw drops.  “I never told anyone that...if even half of what you say is true, what does it mean?  Other gods...this should not be possible.”

“The Dalish would disagree with you,” I state with a grin, which prompts a smile of her own.  

“Yes, I imagine they would,” she acknowledges.

“There were once many beings that were called ‘gods’.  Were we really?  Or did we allow ourselves to believe along with the people?  I’m not sure I have the answer, really.  But I know as time progressed, the stories changed, became altered from the original events.”

“Like the game of whispers,” she remarks.

I shake my head.  “I don’t know that one.”

“It is a silly game that children play.  You start with a phrase and whisper it in the ear the person next to you, they repeat it to the next, and by the time it gets to the last person, it is nothing like how it began.”

I nod.  “That’s not a bad description, really.  Still, even if the particulars of history are full of inaccuracies, if that belief makes someone a better person, it’s probably not all bad.”  Another smile from the spymaster.

“I owe you an apology,” she says, holding her hands together in front of her.  “I thought you were a spy planted by Tevinter, or a saboteur.”

“I understand why you had suspicions.  I want to protect the people I care about, too.”

She nods her head once in agreement.

I continue, “To be fair, I wasn’t sure if the Inquisition would understand about the dragons.  If Declan hadn’t listened...we might have ended up enemies.”

“Yes,” she says, looking away uncomfortably.  “He is quite remarkable.”

“I didn’t say all that to worry you.  ‘The Destroyer’ is on the same side as the Inquisition.  I want to help, truly.  And maybe...we could be friends.”

“You are quite straight-forward, aren’t you?  Truth be told, I have not had many friends that I could trust.”

“So...not entirely a no,” I say, narrowing my eyes at her in a teasing gesture.  “But not a  _ yes, _ either.”

She laughs, and I’m amazed at how girlish it sounds.  She always seems so intimidating, it’s hard to imagine such a sound coming from her.  “We shall see.  But, you had planned on speaking with Alistair, yes?  I believe I last saw him in the garden with Morrigan.  I will walk you, if you like.”

“Perfect, I wanted to see her too.”


	49. A Meeting of Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Dark theme: discussions of death/suicide

Chapter Forty-Nine:  A Meeting of Gods

 

“Leliana, would you mind explaining who I am to them?  I’m getting a little tired of having the same conversation over and over,” I request.

She chuckles.  “Yes, it is probably best that I prepare them.”

Leliana walks over to where Alistair and Morrigan are talking in the garden.  A young boy, maybe around nine years of age, stands with them.  So this is the boy.   _ Urthemiel _ .  Toth stirs, and Alistair cuts a sharp look in my direction.   _ Could he feel Toth just now? _  I know that the Joining ceremony the Grey Wardens undergo gives them the ability to sense darkspawn, but I didn’t suspect they would be able to know her just from his soul.

Leliana launches into a discussion with them, and I see a multitude of expressions cross their faces before she waves me over.

“Hello,” I say shyly, not knowing what to expect.

“I felt you just now,” Alistair says.  “It’s true, you have an Archdemon’s soul.”

Leliana nods.  “I know her claims seem improbable, but they have all proven true so far.”

“She said she knew Mother,” Morrigan states.

“Flemeth?” Alistair asks, and continues without confirmation, “but we killed her.”

“You killed Flemeth?” I gasp.  “Why would you do that?  Wait...when was this?”

“During the Fifth Blight,” he answers.

“And as to why,” Morrigan continues, “you knew Mother.  She always had an agenda.  She prolonged her life by possessing the bodies of her daughters.  I had no desire to end up like the others.”   _ She doesn’t know, then, about Mythal. _

“I have reason to believe that she lives.”

Three worried stares.  “But the Hero slew her. I was  _ there,” _ Leliana insists.

“As was I,” Alistair adds.  “She turned into a blasted dragon, it was a terrible fight.  But when it was over, I kicked her, just to make sure.  Dead.”

I shake my head.  “With Flemeth, things are never quite what they appear to be.  I don’t think you’ve seen the last of her yet.”

“T’would not surprise me,” Morrigan admits.  “Mother had many secrets.”

“I need to get back,” Leliana states.  “I’ll leave you to talk.”  I smile and nod at her before she walks away.

Once she’s out of earshot, I can’t wait any longer, and ask, “Can I speak with him, Morrigan?  He’s here, right?”

She hesitates, but nods.  “Kieran,” she calls, and a boy comes to her side.  “This is Ferox.  She would like to say hello.”

The boy looks at me, and when our eyes meet I can see  _ her _ inside him.   _ Urthemiel, dragon of beauty. _ He says, “Your soul is old.  No, there are two.  You’re...like me...?”

I nod and wrap my arms around him.  He allows me to do so, tentatively raising his own to embrace me.  I whisper, “It’s good to see you again, my old friend.”  A small smile from Kieran.  “You are well?”  He nods slowly.

“He is healthy, and well-behaved.  I could not ask for a better son,” Morrigan states.

“He has changed you,” Alistair points out with a smirk.

“Don’t be absurd,” Morrigan replies.

I stand.  “Thank you for taking such good care of the boy, Morrigan.”  

She walks him back to continue his studies, leaving me alone with Alistair for a minute.  I’m a little saddened not to get more time with the boy, but I do need to talk with the Warden.

Turning toward him, I say, “Thank you again for your part, as well.”  He looks away, his brow furrowing.

I continue, “I know you don’t see it as such, but you’ve done the world a great service.  Which is why I’m hoping you’ll be willing to help me again if the time comes.”

“No, once was bad enough,” he states putting his hands up in protest.

“Not  _ that _ , Alistair,” I correct him, laughing, despite the seriousness of this conversation.

“If you turn, you mean,” he clarifies.

“Yes...if the Archdemon Toth rises again, I won’t be around to stop her.  I need you to promise you won’t hesitate to kill me if that happens, Alistair.”

He sighs.  “This was a lot easier when it was just ‘kill darkspawn’.  Magisters, old gods,  _ actual gods. _  I’m not sure what to do with any of this.”

“Alistair, if the time comes, then this version of me will already be dead.  I don’t want my legacy to be burning the world I’m trying to protect.”

Pain crosses his features.  “Do you have any idea what you’re asking?  We killed our Archdemon years ago; that threat’s supposed to be over for us.  The woman I love is out there, right now, working on a better future for us, and you’re asking me to risk never seeing her again.  The Inquisition has another Warden, why haven’t you asked him?”

“Do you think I  _ want _ to die?  No, I want a life with Varric as much as you want to see Elissa again.  But Alistair,  _ you’re _ the only one I can trust with this.  Trust me, Blackwall...he can’t help me.”    Tears form in my eyes unbidden.   _ “Please.” _

His shoulders hunch, as though carrying the weight of the world upon them.  “I swore an oath when I joined the Wardens to stop the Blight, at any cost.  I won’t turn my back on it.”

I heave a sigh of relief.   _ “Thank you!” _  I impulsively hug him.  He returns it with stiff arms, and I pull back, feeling a little sheepish.  “Sorry, Alistair.  I know you don’t really know me, and I know what killing an Archdemon would do to you...but thank you.  I’ll do my best to make sure it never comes to that.  With any luck, neither one of us has to meet our end, and we can both have the futures we want.”

“Is...the boy in danger of turning?” he asks, his eyes moving to watch where Kieran is sitting with a book.  Morrigan walks back to join us.

“No,” I assure him, shaking my head emphatically.  “The ritual you did...it cleared the corruption from Urthemiel’s soul, and she is what she once was again - the magic of beauty,” I say with a smile.  “Kieran will be fine.  I wish I’d known about the ritual back then.  Things might have been different for Toth.”  I place a hand over my chest.

“You were still able to preserve a piece of the old magics,” Morrigan points out, joining us again.  “‘Tis a worthy goal.”

I nod.  “I’m glad we understand each other.  I wish it would be possible to try your ritual again for Toth, but there’s no telling when or if she will appear, and I don’t want anyone to get hurt because we waited.”

Morrigan smiles, looking back at her son.  “When I was younger, I would not have understood your sentiment.  Perhaps I _ have  _ changed.”

“It wasn’t that long ago that I referred to you all as ‘filthy humans’,” I admit, and laugh.  “All I cared about was the dragons and their magic, but I’ve made friends here that have shown me I was wrong.  I had been away from the world for too long, had forgotten what it felt like to be a part of something.”

“I hear a that our resident author had a little something to do in the  _ convincing _ ,” Alistair teases, grinning.

I blush, caught off guard at his innuendo, but chuckle.  “What’s with the ‘little’ comment, huh, Warden?  Don’t underestimate us just because we’re not as freakishly tall as you.”

“But you’re so tiny,” he jokes, reaching out to pat the top of my head.  He pulls it back, realizing what he had done, but relaxes when I laugh again. 

“I may be a goddess, but I’m still just me, just a foul-mouthed mage with a few anger issues who’s apparently terrible at dinner parties.  I would welcome your friendship.  Both of you,” I say, looking at them.

Morrigan huffs and smirks.  Alistair grins.   _ Looks like a couple of yeses to me. _

“Things are going well, I see,” Cullen says from behind us.  

“Cullen, good, you’re here.  I was hoping to talk with you again.”

“My office, then?” he suggests.

“That works.  Alistair, I could use you for this too.”

“Okaaay,” he says, confusing drawing out his words.

I grin.  “Nothing bad, I just want to talk about Adamant.  I may have information you can use.”

“Ah, at least it’s easier than your last request,” he says with an exhalation.

We walk up the stairs to the battlements and make our way to Cullen’s office.  Once the door is closed again, I take a deep breath.  “We have a device back home called the Watcher’s Well.  It’s an enchanted pool that lets us view important events in the human world,” I say, this part of the explanation getting rather familiar to me.  “I saw Adamant not long ago.  I believe I could recreate the layout if you think it would help.”   


“Yes, that  _ would _ be helpful,” Cullen says, smiling.  “I’ll get you a quill and some parchment immediately.”

I spend the next hour answering their questions and sketching out what I remember of Adamant.  After a while I shush them so I can finish filling in the details.  “We’re going to have to clear the ramparts here before we can approach the gate, they will no doubt see us coming, but wait...they don’t  _ have _ to see us coming.  Well, at least a few of us.”   _ I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.  _  I look down at the silver vines encircling my finger.  

“You’re talking about that travel thing you do, aren’t you?  But that would leave you there alone without any backup.”

“It also means I can unleash my magic without worry about  _ hitting _ any of you.  Hm...but you’re right.  If we don’t time it correctly, then I and anyone I brought with me would likely be toast.”

“The idea has merit, though,” Alistair admits.  “We should included it in our considerations and present the ideas to the Inquisitor when he returns.”

I stand, stretching.  “Well, gentlemen, it’s getting late, and I still need to move my things.”

“Move them where?” Cullen asks.

“While we were on the road, Varric and I decided that we want to live together.  I’d like to get my stuff into his room before it gets dark.”

“Oh,” Cullen says, and a slow smile spreads on his face.  “I can assign a few of my men to help you if you like.”

“That would be appreciated.  I don’t have much, so it shouldn’t take long if I have help.  I’ll need to locate my brother, too.”

“I’ll find out where they’ve placed him, but as he offered his healing abilities for us, I’m guessing he’s staying near the infirmary.”

“You have another brother here?” Alistair asks.

“Yes, Lucis, my twin.  He’s a bit new to being back around people, but he can be quite charming.  I bet he’s got at least two people eating out of his hand and offering to run errands for him by now.”

“Then you’d better go rescue those poor souls,” Cullen jokes, grinning.  “I’ll send over someone to help with your things, and I’ll see you later.”

“Chess tomorrow?” I ask.

“I accept.”


	50. The Usual

Chapter Fifty: The Usual

 

After moving my things into Varric’s room, I find my brother and drag him over to the Herald’s Rest for some dinner.  I don’t want to brave eating in the main hall with Vivienne right now, although I’m sure she’s been informed of who I am.  Just the thought of her smug expression annoys me _._ _ I could use a drink . _

I open the door to the familiar smell, and I find us a table on the first floor.  It feels strange not to have the usual crew here.  I consider going to get Sera, but I figure Lucis probably needs a break from the people of the Inquisition.  I order a couple of ales and some food for both of us, and settle in to eat with my brother.

“How was it today?” I ask.

“Tedious at first.  That mage woman, Fiona, insisted on seeing my abilities first-hand.  As if I need instruction on healing magic; I could do it in my sleep.  Thankfully, I didn’t mention much about my other specialties.”

“I know, but doesn’t it feel good, casting again? I know it’s only rudimentary magic, but I really missed that feeling,” I tell him, closing my eyes and imagining the sensation.

A sigh.  “I suppose you’re right.  But it would be nice if they just asked me to cast one spell and let it be.”

“Are you working with the surgeon, then?”

“If you can call her that.  Her answer to everything seems to be leeches or amputation.  I must have saved at least three limbs today that she would have severed.”

“That must have been great, knowing you helped those people.”

“Yeah...that part  _ was _ pretty good,” he admits, smiling.  “I forgot what it feels like to watch flesh bond back together right in front of you.”

“Told you that you’d like it here.”

“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he protests, but his continued grin betrays his statement.  

_ I’m glad things went okay with him today.  I worried when I was away from him for so long.   _

A silence stretches into awkwardness before he finally asks, “And how did you spend your day, Sister?”

I bite my lip.  “Well, I arranged the plan with the Warden.  Oh, and I saw Urthemiel,” I tell him, running my words together out of nervousness.

He sighs.  “The general the Warden saved. That’s great news, Sister.  But as I said before, the other will not be necessary.”

_ I wish I had your confidence.   _ “I hope not, but I had a pretty close scare in the Hissing Wastes.  I nearly killed my team.  The very sand beneath my feet melted into glass.”

His brows knit together at my words.  “Toth won’t get out.  We will be there for you,” he insists.

“And I’m glad.  It’s so good to have you back.  Your room, it’s near the infirmary?” 

“Yes, it’s a little smoky, but warm. Yours is off the garden, right?  It must be freezing up there.”

“I  _ was _ staying off the garden, but I’ve moved now…” I trail off.   _ I probably should have told him about this earlier. _

“The dwarf’s quarters.”  He grunts in disapproval, but doesn’t say anything else about it.

“Yes, I’m off a hallway in the main hall.  Not far from the Trickster.  Have you see him yet?”

“Briefly.”

_ Hm.  I figured Lucis would have more to say about meeting our old foe. _

“Have you checked in with Tenebris or Etiam?” I ask.

“No, there has not been time.”

_ Quick answers.  Maybe he’s more tense than I thought. _

“Do you want me to stay in your room tonight?  It’s your first night here in Skyhold, after all.”

He huffs, but gives me a shy smile.  “Saw right through me, did you?  I must be pretty obvious.”   _ There he is. _

“Only to me.  Let me go get my stuff and I’ll meet you at your room.”

Someone clears their throat, and I look up to see Sera watching me.  “Does Varric know?” she says, looking between me and Lucis.  I can’t help it, I laugh.  

“About my  _ twin brother _ coming to Skyhold with me?  Yes, Sera, he does.”

Her mouth forms a small “O” of surprise that widens into a smile.  She shrugs.  “Oh, the twin, eh?  Guess that’s alright then.  Still shoulda brought him upstairs, said hello.”

“We just got in today.”

“Bout that, weren’t you going to the Hissing Waste or something?  What happened, Varric screw it up again?”

“No, nothing like that.  We did go.  He’s on his way back from there now.”

“Wait, what?  How are you here then?”

“Magic stuff; you mean you haven’t heard yet?  I figured the news would have made the rounds already.”

“Oh that rubbish about you being gods in Tevinter?  Didn’t listen, obviously stupid.”

“Sera...it’s the truth,” I say, my expression serious.  She looks to Lucis, who nods.  She shakes her head and laughs.  

“Go on with both of you,” she says, but stops when we don’t respond.  “No, seriously?  No, there can’t be both several gods  _ and _ the Maker.  Those two things don’t fit.”

_ Technically the Maker is one of us.   _ I just smile.  “Okay Sera.  It doesn’t really matter if you believe.  Just stay my friend, alright?”

“Alright,” she says, but looks at me with a strange expression.  

“Can I buy you a drink?” I offer, gesturing toward the bench near me.

“Nah, I just came over for a bit, I’ve got a thing later.”

“A thing.. _.oh,  _ you mean a thing with your  _ friends _ .”

“You could go if you want?” she offers.  “Might be somethin’ in it for you.”

“Too tired, it’s been a long day. I think I’m just going to turn in, to be honest.”

“Go on, then,” she says, and walks away.

Once she’s out of earshot, my brother turns to me.  “Thing with friends?  Do I want to know?”

“Oh, right.  Sera is Red Jenny.  Well, one of them, anyway.  I guess there are several...I’m still confused, honestly.”

Lucis just shrugs.  “She seems nice, but a little odd.”

“That describes her pretty well, actually,” I comment, smiling again.  

The two of us finish our meal, and separate.  I walk up the stairs to the main keep, he walks down the stairs to the lower level of Skyhold.  Passing by Solas’s chamber, I see that he is drinking something and reading a tome.

“Tea, Solas?  You always hated tea,” I comment.

“A taste I have still not acquired, it seems,” he replies and sets down the cup.  “Greetings, Ferox.  Your brother was here earlier.”

“Yes, he mentioned seeing you.  I’m glad we’re still able to maintain our truce, but I’m surprised no one has asked me about you yet, considering.”

“Indeed.  I heard that you revealed your identity to them.  I am not certain that was wise.”

I shrug.  “I feel a little better telling the truth.  Even if they think I’m loony.  But I have to be going.  I’ll see you soon, Solas.”

He nods.  “Farewell.”

I walk up the stairs, leaving him behind me, but I’m a bit surprised.  I expected him to be angrier that I had outed myself, because in turn, it will throw suspicion onto him.   _ Why hasn’t it?  Is he shielding himself from them too, somehow?  Is that even possible? _  I’m not sure what to think anymore, but something doesn’t feel right.   _ Maybe I’ll ask Tenebris. _

I grab a change of clothes, something comfortable to sleep in, and my hairbrush, placing them in a small bag to carry with me.  I look around at the familiar setting.   _ Varric’s room, no wait,  _ our _ room. _  I lay down on the bed for a minute, and just enjoy the faint scent of him that clings to the covers.  Varric always smells of something spicy that I can never quite place, like clove or cinnamon, mixed with a hint of leather and wood smoke.   _ I miss you.   _ Suddenly feeling lonely, I stand again, and see that my pendant is glowing.

I open it and connect the magic. 

Seeing the image appear, I exclaim, “Garrett!  You did it without me!  It’s good to see your face.”

“Well, someone wanted me to check on you,” he jokes and looks down to his left.  I can’t see Varric in the image, and I realize it’s because Hawke is holding it too high.   _ Is he doing that on purpose? _  I laugh, and shake my head.

“Can I see him then, Garrett, or do you think that’s too much trouble?”  I ask.

He grins at me, but then lowers it to what appears to be a table.  I see Varric’s features come into view.

“Hey Firefly,” he says.

“Hello, Love.  Can you see where I am?”  I put my hands out indicating the room we now share.

“Yeah.  I’d much rather be there with you.  We ran into those varghest things today.  A whole blasted nest of ‘em.”

“Is everyone okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, we got a few knocks and bruises, and I think Bianca might have a new scratch, but we’re doing just fine.  How did it go there?  I assume everyone heard about what happened…” His voice drops and he looks away.

“Truly, it couldn’t have gone better.  I may have even made a new friend or two in the process.  Thank Declan for me.”

“I will.  That’s great news”

“I miss you, Varric.”

“Aww, isn’t that cute?” Hawke teases from out of view.

I laugh.  “I...kind of forgot he was still there,” I admit.

Varric shrugs and grins.  “If only  _ I _ had that luxury.  I’m looking forward to getting home, too.”  He pauses, then says, “Seeing his goddess again, the distance between them seemed to grow wider still, surging like the seas of her birth place.”

I smile a little, but sigh.  “Talking to you is amazing, but I do need to go, my brother is waiting.  Lucis is having trouble adjusting, so I’m going to sleep in his room tonight.”

He nods.  “Twin thing, right?”  He looks out of view, apparently checking with Hawke.

“Yeah,” Hawke responds.  “Bethany would often disappear in the middle of the night, but we always knew to check in Carver’s room first.”

“Garrett, thank you for this,” I tell him.  “Please be careful.  I’ll see you both soon.”

“Goodnight, Firefly,” Varric says, and I catch a glimpse of his smile before Garrett raises the pendant to his own face.

“Bye Ferox,” he comments, and the image is gone.  

Smiling, I pick up my things and go to meet my brother at his room.  When I knock softly on the door, he allows me to enter.  His room is small, and, as he alluded before, smells of smoke.  _ We should have someone look at his chimney.   _ Already dressed in his sleeping clothes, he turns his back while I change into mine, and we settle down in the bed. It’s barely bigger than a single bed, but the two of us are used to sharing space.   _ Or at least we used to be, _ I remind myself.

This Lucis is different than the brother I had known growing up, but I’m grateful to have him back, regardless.  Between the warmth of the room and holding my twin’s hand, it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep.

*             *             *

Lucis is gone when I wake up in the morning.  I change quickly into the clothing I brought with me, and brush my hair into a more manageable style.  I know I need to work with the mages this morning, but I have plenty of other things to do this afternoon that should keep me busy.  I open the door, and see that the day is cold, but sunny.

Along with several new apprentices, I finally meet Avexis, who has been helping Fiona.  From our brief discussion, she informs me that she asked to undergo the Rite of Tranquility, that it was her decision.  Looking at the sunburst brand up the young woman’s forehead, I want to cry.  My heart breaks when I think about how she used to be able to communicate with animals and lost her abilities due to someone else’s greed.  But, if she was drawing demons to her, I guess I can understand her desire to escape.  I wish we’d been here then; Etiam might have been able to help her.

I think about Pharamond’s discovery that the Rite of Tranquility can be reversed.  It was part of what had spurred the mage rebellion in the first place, after all.  However, everything comes with a price, and he wished for death many times from the madness its reversal brought on.  This new “cure” the mages hope for might be more like a curse.  Still, when I think about it, I think I’d chose madness over Tranquility, too.  At least then I might be able to seek a death of my own choosing.  Severing one’s connection to magic...that’s a different kind of death.

Avexis chose this, but I wonder if she understood what it meant before she asked for it.  “Tranquil can still be useful” is the phrase they use to defend it, but what good is being of use if you have no drive or purpose any longer?  That’s not peace.  My own abilities give me a taste of what it must be like.  When I embrace the cold, I go emotionless.  Cold, logical, efficient.  But no compassion, no ability to love, or even care about what happens to me.   _ To live life forever in the cold... _ I shudder at the thought.

I finish the training session, and the apprentices thank me for my help.  I really do enjoy working with the young ones, seeing their basic skills develop, and knowing that their form is on point, so that when they attempt more complicated magic, they’ll be ready.  These apprentices have a lot of potential.  The others, the ones I had been working with before leaving for the empress’s party, have come a long way.  They’re as battle-ready as I can get them.  I sigh, thinking about it, knowing that some of them won’t make it through the coming conflict.

After leaving the training area I grab the chessboard and pack a small lunch before making my way to Cullen’s office.  I balance the load, manage to get the door open, holding it with my foot as I enter to keep it from closing.  He’s alone, looking over some report or another, but he glances up as I walk in.

“Ferox?” he asks, then turns his head to look at the window.  “I guess the time got away from me again today,” he says with a small shake of his head.

“I figured.  It’s too cold to really sit outside today anyway, so I brought us some lunch,” I say cheerfully, holding up the small package of food.

“You really are a goddess,” he says appreciatively.  He chuckles and walks over to take the chessboard from me, along with the small pouch of pieces.  

Lunch with Cullen is spent in pleasant conversation, and we play a couple of quick games of chess.  Quick because I win both, of course.

“You’ve improved,” he comments with a small huff of frustration.

“I told you I’d be good once I remembered the game a bit.  I promise to let you win next time.”

“Don’t you dare…at least show me that last strategy you used.”

I chuckle, and explain the moves I had made.  Afterwards, I stand.

“I should let you get back to work.”

“Yes, there is always so much to do.  Allow me to try again tomorrow?”

“I’ll bring lunch,” I say, nodding in agreement.

I leave the chessboard with Cullen, go back to my new room, and head immediately for the desk.  It’s kept neat, but I can see Varric’s influence all over it.  I run my hands over the smooth surface, imagining the countless words Varric has given life to here.  I know exactly what I need, and take a piece of parchment.  I want to keep my word to Frederic and Cinder, even though I can’t be with them right now.  I create more of the Draconic primer, and outline how to pronounce each of the syllables.

It doesn’t take me long to figure out a few words and phrases.  I know I’ll have more time before Frederic gets back, and I’ll be able to work on it a little at a time, but I still have another stop to make before dinner.  I set down the quill, and reluctantly leave the room again.

I exchange pleasantries again with Solas again before heading down the stairs from the main keep toward the grassy area below.  But I’m not stopping at the tavern today.  I wave to Scout Harding who smiles at me in passing, and I continue down the stairs to the lower level.  Lucis finishes casting healing magic on an agent laying on a cot and looks up.  I nod to him as well, and a gentle smile crosses his features.  Passing the various vendors, I see that the quality of the wares has improved just in the time since I was last at Skyhold.

The barn looms ahead, the smell of hay and horses bringing back a lot of memories from earlier days.  I pause in the doorway watching him for a minute before I say anything.  He is carving...something out of wood, but I can’t tell yet what it will be.

“Warden Blackwall,” I say in greeting.  “Do you have time to speak with me?”  He jumps a little at the sound of my voice, apparently having not heard me approaching.  He sets down his tool, and turns to look at me.  I can see the muscles of his forehead wrinkling.   _ He’s wondering why I would seek him out.  I guess I never have, but this is important. _

“Dragon Girl...I mean, Ferox.”   _ Is he nervous?  Oh, he must have heard about Toth.  Good, that will make this easier. _

“Is that a yes?” I ask again with a grin.

“Yes, of course,” he says, visibly relaxing a little.

“So I guess you’ve heard about me, huh?”

“About the Archdemon Toth, yes,” he says, frowning.

“I’m going to say something, but I want you to know I bear you no ill will,” I start, watching the frown on his face deepen.  “The reason I haven’t come to you sooner about Toth is because I know.  I know you’re not a Warden.”

His eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“I’ve known since I first met you, and I haven’t said anything, so hear me out.  I have no intention of volunteering this information, but I won’t hold it back if asked, either.”  

He sighs, and is silent.  “How do you know?”

“Toth, actually.  The Joining that Grey Wardens undergo gives them a connection to the darkspawn, but also gives the Archdemon a connection to them.  And, I’m Dragon Girl.  There’s no trace of what should be there if you were a real Grey Warden.”

“If you’ve known all this time, why come to me with this now?” Blackwall asks.

“Cullen intends to strike against the Wardens at Adamant Fortress.  I assume you’ll be part of Declan’s team, and I have a feeling you’re going to need my help.  Everyone believes that you’re a Grey Warden, and can detect darkspawn, but we know that the Wardens summoning demons is part of Corypheus’s plan.  What if Corypheus himself shows up?  Or that tortured dragon, or a horde of darkspawn?  Tenebris and I can both sense them the way that Wardens do, because of Toth, and my brother’s familiarity with Blight magic.  One of us should be with you, just in case.”

“Why would you do this for me?  As you said, I’m no one.”  He sighs again, guilt bearing his shoulders down.  “I’m just a liar pretending to be a good man.”

“Because you’re a soldier called to duty, there’s purpose enough in that.  And from what I hear about you, I’m not convinced yet that the ‘good man’ bit is a lie.  This could be a chance to prove yourself.”

A small humorless laugh escapes him, and he nods.  “We should discuss the plan.”

“I think Cullen and Alistair are waiting to solidify their strategy when Declan gets back.  I just wanted to get to know you, officially.”

A genuine smile.  “I’ll buy you a pint later.  That is, if you don’t mind the ale over at the Herald’s Rest.”

“Nah, a drink sound pretty good, actually.  Say around dinner?  I’ll probably be eating there with my brother Lucis.”

“It’s a plan.”

After that, my days settle into a routine and eventually blend into one another.  Mornings are spent training the mages, followed by lunch with Cullen, and sometimes Alistair or Leliana; then work on the Draconic language text, meeting with with my brother or others in the afternoon for dinner or drinks. Sometimes I use the pendant to talk with Tenebris or Garrett and Varric, and then fall asleep in the bed by myself.   

That is, of course, until I have a visitor in the middle of the night.


	51. Trouble at Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferox gets an unexpected guest.

Chapter Fifty-One: Trouble at Midnight

 

I open my eyes, seeing the darkened interior of the room.   _ Why am I awake?  Wait, there was a sound.  Someone’s in the room.   _

“Varric?” I call, sitting up.  But it’s not Varric.  Not at all.

“What are  _ you _ doing here?” a female voice asks.

“Hey, Bianca.”  I rub my eyes, and stretch, and decide to take a page from Miracle’s book.  “I’m sleeping.  Can you come back in the morning?”  I go to lay back down.

“Where’s Varric?”

I sigh, sitting back up.  “You’re rather persistent for someone who’s trespassing right now.”  I push the covers back, and stand up.  I’m not having this conversation in my sleeping shift.  Pulling on a dressing robe, I feel a little more prepared to face my former rival.

“Fine,” I say, looking down at her, glad I’m taller than someone for once.  “I’m here because I  _ live _ here now, and Varric is away on a mission with the Inquisitor.  Would you like to leave him a message?”

“You’re lying.  Varric wouldn’t move some-”

She doesn’t get a chance to finish that statement, as I hurl an orb of ice energy just next to her head.  It crashes into the wall behind her, leaving a layer of frost.  She inhales in surprise, her hood falling back off of her head, and steps to the side, grabbing her bow and reaching for an arrow.

I cast a small force spell, knocking the bow out of her hand.  It clatters to the floor and slides under a chair.  Her eyes flick to its location.

I shake my head.  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.  You  _ really _ want to rethink that last statement, Bianca.  I know you’re supposed to be brilliant or something, but you don’t know the first thing about me.”

“Maybe, but I know Varric better than anyone.”

“You had your chance, and the time to lament your choices is long over.  Varric moved on. Deal with it.  He still listens to you for some reason, so I’ll take your message to him, but you  _ will  _ respect me in my own quarters.”

“Well, well,” she says, a mocking grin tilting up the corners of her pretty mouth.  “Varric found himself a feisty one.”  She takes a deep breath, pausing.  “Good.”

Reading her intention, I relax my posture.   _ I didn’t know I was being tested, but it seems like I passed.   _ “There’s not much I wouldn’t do for him,” I reassure her.

She nods.  “Sounds like you already know, but I’m Bianca of House Davri.”

“Ferox,” I say, considering adding more, but figuring this dwarf and I are already enough at odds without disclosing my origins.

“Fine, keep your secrets,” she mutters.  

“Why are you here, again?” I ask.  “You obviously need something.”

“I’ve learned how Corypheus is getting his red lyrium.  I came to bring the lead to Varric.”

“Shit.  The Inquisitor is going to want to know that.  I...have a way of passing on a message to both of them.  Tell me.”

“We’re not talking about a raven, are we?” she asks, cocking her head to the side.   _ Not so dumb, after all. _

“No, as you obviously guessed, it’s magic.  I gave Hawke a trinket that will let me talk with them.  But I doubt they’re awake right now.  Most  _ rational _ people are sleeping.”

“Try them.”

I sigh.  “Will you leave afterwards if I do?”

At her nod, I grab the pendant off the nightstand, and open it.  I connect the magic, remembering instructing Hawke on doing this very thing, but I don’t see anything right away.

“Nothing.  I told you they wouldn’t be awake.”

No sooner had I spoken than the image appears.  Garrett’s sleepy countenance is visible in the shimmering blue energy.

“Ferox?” he asks, his voice low and scratchy.  “What is it?”  He stops and his jaw drops.  “Is that who I think it is?”

“Yeah, guess I’ll make introductions.  Garrett, meet Bianca Davri.  Bianca, that’s Garrett Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall.”

“I may not have met the man but I know who he is,” she grumbles.  “So he can see me, right?  Can he hear me?”

“I hear you just fine,” Hawke answers.

“Amazing,” she says, studying the pendant.  “How does this thing work?”

“Don’t touch it!” I snap, carefully pulling it away from her.  I hear Varric’s familiar chuckle in the background.  “Varric’s with you?  I thought he didn’t like sharing a tent with the octopus.”

The image shifts, and I see my beloved dwarf again.  “Hey,” he says.  “We got to camp later than we expected, it was easier just to share tonight.  Andraste’s ass, I never thought I’d see the two of you together.”

“Watch the Andraste talk,” I remind him.  “It seems Bianca had news that couldn’t wait and came looking for you.   _ In our room _ .”

“Ugh...sorry about that.”

“And which one of us are you apologizing to?” Bianca asks.

“A little of both.  I’ve just been gone so damned long from any kind of civilization, I haven’t been able to send a letter to let Bianca know that we’re living together now.”

“He’s just trying to save his ass,” I comment to Bianca, and she snorts.

“Maker’s balls, Varric, they’re working together,” Hawke observes from out of view.  “You don’t stand a chance.”

I chuckle.  “I think Bianca and I have come to an understanding.”

He frowns.  “What happened before you contacted us?”

“Just a little girl talk,” Bianca states vaguely, “but there’s a reason I’m here.  I think I know where Corypheus is getting his red lyrium.”

“Where?” he asks.

“Bartrand’s Folly; the location has been leaked.”

Varric rubs his temples.  “Shit, seriously?”

“That’s the thaig we went to on the expedition when we first found red lyrium,” Hawke explains, but of course, I already knew part of that.  I’d watched a lot of Hawke’s accomplishments in Kirkwall.

“Not only that,” Bianca states, “but there’s a Deep Roads entrance in the Hinterlands.  It’s been crawling with humans carting the stuff out.”

I think back to when the dwarves had more open trade with the people on the surface.  My family had some interactions with them.  I’ve been to the Deep Roads...but that was so long ago.  I remember being impressed by the opulence of the dwarven thaigs.

“You’re quiet, Firefly, what is it?” Varric asks.

“Lost in memories,” I admit.  “Remembering the last time I was in the Deep Roads.  They were magnificent.”

“How long ago was that?” Hawke questions.  “Now they’re mostly collapsed, or taken over by darkspawn, or just full of nug shit.”

“I can’t even remember anymore.  I just remember seeing them for the first time.  But if we can shut off Corypheus’s supply of red lyrium, it’s worth investigating, right?”

“Definitely,” Varric says.  “I’ll talk to Declan first thing in the morning, and I’ll let you know what he says.”  

I nod.  “Sounds good.  I can meet you there, or I could come get you.”

His expression changes, looking concerned.  “Actually...I think it would be better if you don’t go this time.”

“What?  Why?”

His eyes dart to the side.  “Because of what happened in the Hissing Wastes,” he says, leaving me to fill in the rest of the details.   _ He doesn’t want to say it in front of Bianca, but he’s worried the red lyrium will speed up the corruption in Toth. _

I grunt and reluctantly admit, “You may have a point on that one.  You should think about taking Tenebris, though, if I can’t go.  It’s his area of expertise, after all.”

Varric nods.  “Not a bad idea, Firefly.  I’ll suggest it to the Inquisitor.”

“Who’s Tenebris?” Bianca asks.  

I tilt my head to watch her out of the corner of my eye.  “One of my three brothers.  He’s been consulting with the Inquisition about red lyrium.”

“He’s the one who found a way to treat Bartrand,” Varric adds.

“Ah, then he has my thanks already.  From what I hear, Bartrand was deteriorating fast.  The healers in Kirkwall said he’d probably never recover the last time I contacted them.”

“Alright, so it sounds like I’ll be hearing from you tomorrow,” I announce.   _ I wish I could talk to you longer, but I just want to get her out of here. _

“Ah, Varric?  Could I talk to you alone for a minute?” Bianca asks.  I cut her a look.

“No, actually, you can’t,” Hawke teases.  “I have to use magic to keep this thing going.”

“You can stay, Hawke,” she says.   _ So I’m the only one who can’t hear what she has to say?  You’d better watch yourself, Bianca. _

“I hate to ask…” Varric says.

“I have to use magic, too, but I  _ suppose _ I could go out into the hall.  My magic can reach that far, but you’re gonna owe me for this, Love.”

“Anything,” he promises and I can’t help but laugh at his grin. 

“Oh,  _ anything, _ huh?  I’ll have to think on that one, make sure it’s something...creative.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Do they always flirt like this?” Bianca asks Garrett.

“Worse,” he comments.  “But I think it’s cute.”

“Right then.  You get about five minutes, so I suggest you’re quick about it.”  I set the pendant on the writing desk, and step out into the hallway, gently closing the door behind me.  There’s enough of a gap under the door that I’m able to maintain the tendril of magic connecting to the water.  

_Damn, she makes me angry_.  Sneaking into Varric’s room in the middle of the night.  They’d obviously done that enough times she felt assured that she would be welcome.  I remember Varric telling me about her before.  I hadn’t wanted to hear it, had been adrift in the cold.  I inhale.   _Trust him.  Besides, Hawke is right there.  Not even Bianca would be that bold._

I’m tempted to press my ear up against the wood of the door and try to listen in, and it takes sheer force of will to keep me away from it.  I sit on the floor, propping my back up against the wall.   _ At least I’ll get to see him again, _ I think, hugging my knees to my chest.  I need to deliver what I have finished of the Draconic language primer to Frederic.  It’s as good an excuse as any.  There will be plenty of time to charge the ring again before we’d get to Adamant.

The door opens.  Bianca seems surprised to see me sitting, and smiles.  “Neat toy you’ve got there.  I don’t suppose you’d let me borrow it for research?”

“It wouldn’t do you any good without magic.”  I shrug, standing up.

She nods.  “Be good to him,” she says with a small smile.

“No problem there.  But you’re the one who gets to go with him.  Keep him safe.  I’d hate to make him angry when I send you back to your family one frozen piece at a time.”

Her smile widens.  “Just so we understand each other.”

I nod.  “Goodnight, Bianca.”

She hikes her bow up onto her shoulder, and after a few steps, disappears into the shadows of the darkened hallway.  I walk back into the room, the blue glow of the magic still illuminating the room.

I start toward it, and hear Varric’s voice, thick with sarcasm.  “Well, that’s not going to be trouble at all.”

“I’m back,” I state, and move the pendant back to my hand.

“Sorry, Ferox, I’m running out of mana.  I need to rest,” Hawke says.

“No, it’s alright, Garrett.  Thank you for responding so quickly.  Tomorrow, then.”

I get a “goodnight” from both of them, and the light of the pendant fades, leaving me in the dark.  I sit still for a moment, my eyes adjusting again to the darkness.   _ Tomorrow.  You can talk to him more tomorrow. _  I relock the door, although it hadn’t stopped Bianca the first time, and crawl back between the covers.  I’m restless now, trying to imagining what Bianca wanted to say to Varric, somewhat wishing I  _ had _ listened in.  I find it hard to sleep the rest of the night.


	52. Red Lyrium

Chapter Fifty-Two: Red Lyrium

 

Perhaps it’s because I didn’t sleep well, but it takes me a while to realize that someone is knocking on the door.  I manage to get to my feet, although not exactly gracefully, and pull on my dressing gown.  I’m a bit surprised to see how bright it already is outside.   _ That sneaky dwarf caused me to oversleep, damn it. _

I unlock the door and open it a crack to see a runner standing there.

“Can I help you?” I ask.   _ Is he looking for Varric?  No, everyone who would send a runner already knows he’s not here. _

“Yes, I’m to tell you that your presence is requested at the War Table.”  

“Oh, thank you.  I’ll head there straightaway.”  _ They need me at the War Table?  Why?  They don’t even know about Bianca and the red lyrium yet.  I guess this is as good a chance as any to tell them.  _  The runner nods, his objective achieved, and quickly retreats down the hallway and out of sight.  

I dress in my standard blue armor, and take a little more care braiding my hair on the sides and pinning it back, combining the sections into one long plait that hangs down my back.  I carry my staff, as I’ll need to go see Fiona and the apprentices if there’s time afterwards.   _ At least it’s easier to get there from here _ .  I head downstairs, and through the hallway that leads to the War Room.

When I open the door, I see that the usual set is assembled: Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana.  Alistair has joined us again today.  I’m a little surprised not to see Morrigan, as she’s been attending more of these meetings in her role as liaison.  

“Fashionably late as usual, Ferox,” Leliana says, and I can’t tell if her smirk means she’s annoyed or impressed.  “Let’s get to it.”

“There’s another dragon,” Cullen says, leaning over the War Table.  He puts his finger down on the map on the Storm Coast.  “Here, on an island off the Storm Coast.”

“Tell me what you know,” I instruct.

He continues, “The Inquisitor first encountered the creature on the beach some time ago, fighting a giant, but it flew away.  We just managed to rout the red templars in the area, and found boats they left behind.  This alerted our scouts the idea that the red templars might be using one of the nearby islands to either store or bring in red lyrium.  Our agents went to the island, but when they encountered the dragon they retreated back to safety.”

“Do we have a sketch?” I ask, and I’m handed a drawing.  It’s rougher than the others,  probably drawn in a hurry, maybe even on the boat back to the mainland, but I can still make out some of the features.  “Lightning type again, which is a relief after last time.  Long neck, narrow head, markings follow the shape of the wings instead of crossing them.  I can’t get an idea of scale from this, but...Vinsomer maybe?  I hope not.”

“Is there something about them that makes them worse than other lightning dragons?” Josephine asks, followed by, “I can’t believe I just said that.”

I smile and shake my head.  “No, they’re no worse, they’re just really skittish and tend to fly off pretty easily.  I’m surprised you saw one fighting, to be honest.  It must have been looking to nest somewhere.  That’s probably why it’s on that island.  Nothing there that will bother it, and it can come and go as it pleases.”

“Nesting dragons are more aggressive, I take it?” Alistair clarifies.

“Very much so.  They get defensive if they’re laying their eggs or their dragonlings are young.”

Cullen nods.  “There were reports of dragonlings.”

I sigh.  “If we start killing her babies, she’s not going to be happy with us.”

“How would you like to handle this, then?” he questions.

“Stealth might work, but dragons have amazing senses.  Speed would be better.  If we can disable the dragonlings without hurting them, we can run past them.  Put them to sleep, trap them temporarily, cause them to panic and run away; that might work.  I’m going to need my brother Lucis on this one.  His Haste spell and glyphs will help if this is our approach.”

“Alistair should go with you, too,” Cullen says.

I flush, my cheeks warm in my shame.  “I’m not going to turn, Cullen.  This isn’t even a fire dragon; it’s a lightning-type, so it should be easy.  Lightning is my natural element, after all.”

“Still, I’d feel safer if he accompanied you.”

Alistair just shrugged.  “I could use a break from all these meetings.”

“Alright,” I concede, “but before we start assembling the team, there’s something I need to tell you all.  I had a visitor last night.”

Leliana smiles.  “My operatives told me that Bianca Davri was seen leaving the keep last night.  She’s good to have gotten in without being spotted.”

“Don’t get me started on her...anyway, she had news she was hoping to deliver to Varric, but found me, instead.  She has a lead on Corypheus’s source of red lyrium.”

That gets a reaction from all of three advisors, and their voices blend together as they each try to ask me questions.   

“One at a time please,” I state, laughing.

“This could strike a decisive blow against our enemy,” Cullen states.  “We need to be a part of this.”

“After Halamshiral, we’ve been so focused on Adamant, but this would definitely help our efforts,” Josephine says.

“I agree,” Leliana states.  “But we must be careful.  Can we trust this information?”

I shrug.  “I wouldn’t trust that dwarf as far as I could throw her, but Varric believes it’s worth checking into.  I’ve already talked to him, and he’s going to talk to Declan today.”

“Talked to...how?” Alistair asks, looking at me questioningly.

“How else?  Magic,” I answer with a grin.  “I have a way to talk with my brothers and I gave the same kind of device to Hawke and taught him to use it.  They’re supposed to get back to me today to let me know what he says.”

Josephine nods.  “Do let us know.”

I look down, and sure enough, the pendant is glowing.  “Well, sounds like you’ll get your chance earlier than you expected.  They’re trying to contact me right now.”

“Truly?” Leliana asks, looking at it curiously.

“I guess I’ll answer them,” I say, laughing.  I pull the pendant over my head, set it in my hand as usual, open the chamber to reveal the water, and connect the magic.  But it isn’t Hawke that I see.

“Tenebris!” I exclaim.  I quickly follow it up with, “Sorry, I was expecting Hawke.”

“I know, I’ve been in talks with him and the Inquisitor this morning. Declan is with me.”

“Oh good, I’m with the advisors in the War Room, and Warden Alistair, of course.”

“Perfect,” he says, stepping out of view.  Declan’s face appears, instead.  

“And I just talk into this thing?” he asks, not sure where to look.

I chuckle.  “Just talk to me like I was standing there.  We see and hear you.”

“Wonderous…” the Inquisitor says, then shakes his head.  “But I’ve heard about this Deep Roads entrance that links to the ancient thaig of Bartrand’s Folly.  I don’t think we can afford to ignore this.”

“We agree,” Leliana states from behind me.  “I would advise caution, but there are obvious benefits if this lead is genuine.”

I prop the pendant up on a small wooden box on the War Table and go to the other side to stand with them.

Delcan says, “I need to come back to Skyhold.  As this is Varric’s contact, he’s requested to be there, and suggested we bring Tenebris due to his familiarity with red lyrium.  The Hinterlands aren’t too far from Skyhold, but we’re traveling from the other direction.  We need to get there faster.  Tenebris and Etiam have agreed to bring the two of us, but I think Cassandra would be a good choice for this one, as well, due to the likelihood of running into more red templars.  I’ll have to ask you for a favor, Ferox.”

“I’ll do it.  I need to come there anyway, as I have something for Frederic.”

He nods.  “It will mean leaving the horses to be led by the others, but I think it’s better than waiting.  We’re still about a week away from Skyhold as it is.”

“Gather your things.  I can be there shortly.”

Cullen clears his throat.  “We’re not done discussing  _ your _ mission, Ferox.”

“Oh?” Declan asks.  “More dragons?”

“Just so,” Josephine confirms.  “The lightning dragon you encountered on the Storm Coast.”

“Ah, yes, the one fighting the giant. I believe the Iron Bull called it ‘badass’,” he comments, and chuckles to himself.

I lean against the table, looking at Declan’s image.  “They want me to go see to it, and I’d like my brother Lucis on the team.”

“You want to take Lucis into the field?” Tenebris asks.  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He’s been good since we came here.  He’s been healing the wounded, and seems to be back to his old self.”

“There’s a problem with the brother?” Alistair asks from next to me.

I turn to look at him.  “When his beloved was killed, he was lost in grief and sadness.  But that was a long time ago, and he’s better now.  I’ve seen it.  He likes helping the others.”

Declan’s expression is serious.  “What are the risks here?  Tell me everything, Ferox.”

I nod.  “He normally loves people, is kind to everyone to everyone he meets.  He’s brave, and would face any challenge in the name of doing the right thing.  Her death changed him, though, and he pulled back from the world for a long time.  He was colder then; more callous.  The biggest risk to this mission I can see is that he would freeze up, or leave.   But with me there, I don’t see that happening.  He would stay, for me.”

I hear Tenebris speak again.  “You’re probably right.  You were always Lucis’s favorite, being twins and all.”

“Alright, those are acceptable risks.  You can take your brother,” Declan states.

“I’m sending Alistair with her, as well, to mitigate the  _ other _ risks,” Cullen tells him.

“Solid thinking.  But she’ll need a rogue, and I already have Varric and Cole tied up.  Ferox, you and Sera are friends, right?  You should ask her to go with you.”

I grin.  “Sera  _ does _ need to get out more.  But Declan, if I’m not with you or Cassandra, who’s leading the mission?”

“Sounds like you are,” he says, “but I’d also consider Alistair’s advice.  His experience with the Wardens will no doubt be valuable.”

“You’re putting  _ me _ in charge?” I exclaim, blinking in surprise.  “I...thank you for trusting me with the responsibility.  I won’t let you down, Declan.  I’ll talk to that dragon.  I’m pretty sure it’s a Vinsomer, though, and they’re a bit different.”

“But gorgeous if you get to see them up close,” Tenebris comments with a chuckle from out of view.  “You must be excited.”

“About another lightning dragon?  Of course I’m excited!”

Declan laughs.  “You and the dragons,” he says, shaking his head.  “So give us...about an hour, and come meet us here in Emprise du Lion.  We’ve taken over a place called Suledin Keep.”

“It’s elven.  I know it,” I say, nodding.

He looks at me for a minute.  “One of these days, I’m going to have to get more information out of you.  It didn’t even occur to me that you’d know the old places.  I bet there’s a lot your family could tell us.”

“Probably.”  I grin.

“It’s a good-sized fortress, but was a hard won fight getting it.  The red templars took this place over, they were experimenting with red lyrium, and were led by this demon named Imshael.”

“No...one of the Forbidden Ones?  I thought they were all dead.”

“Yeah, that’s what your brother Etiam said.  He was keen on talking to him, but it ended in a fight, anyway.”

_ That must have saddened Etiam to see it go that way.  He really does like spirits, and meeting one of the Forbidden Ones must have been fascinating for him.  I wish I’d been there, now.  Seeing Etiam excited was a rare event, indeed. _

I confirm, “So Suledin Keep, one hour.  I’ll see you then.”  I glance at the others.  “Anyone else here have anything else to say before I end this?”

“No, we’ll see one another soon enough, it seems,” Cullen replies.

The connection ends, and the blue glow fades.  I had hoped to see Hawke and Varric again, but I guess I’ll be there soon.  I remind myself to pick up the Draconic primer for Frederic.

“I need to go check in with Fiona to tell her I’ll be out again.  Then I need let Lucis and Sera know about the mission.  Sounds like we’ll be leaving again soon, today or tomorrow.”

“I should go pack a few things, as well,” Alistair states.  

Josephine nods.  “Thank you for letting us speak with the Inquisitor through your device.  Any chance that we might obtain one for Skyhold?”

“Possibly, but it requires a mage with a decent amount of mana to use it.  Hawke drained himself quickly the other day trying to sustain the connection for a few minutes.  My own reserves are more substantial than normal mages, so I never really thought about it.”

“I see.  We will have to learn more about it, then.”

“I’ll return later with the Inquisitor,” I say, bowing my head a little, and take my leave.

* * *

_ I don’t remember Suledin Keep being this cold.   _ Snow covers the ground, save for gnarled trees bare of their leaves and a few hardy plants stubbornly clinging to life.  I look up and see the skies are gray and overcast.   _ Red lyrium did this? _  The stone stairs and pillars of the ancient fortress resemble the bones of some long-dead creature, rising out of the snow.  This is land that’s lost the light of hope.  I cast a warming barrier.   _ No sense suffering when they already know what I am. _

I’d appeared outside of Suledin Keep.  The guards stationed out front eye me strangely as I approach.  I smile at them.

“Greetings, Inquisition.  I am Ferox, and the Inquisitor should be expecting me.”

They immediately relax.  “Indeed, he is within.”

I walk through the entrance, and I’m shocked at the amount of red lyrium in this place.   _ And Varric was worried about me going to the Deep Roads?  He should have been worried about this place.   _ It appears as though the templars brought it in using carts, but the crystal formations took over, growing right through the metal of the containers that once held it.  Agents are pulling bodies out of tents and piling them on a pyre.  At least, I think those things were once human.  They’re twisted now, hunched backs and more of the crystals protruding through the skin of their backs or along their arms.   _ How awful. _

I continue on, careful not to get too close to the bodies or the towering monoliths.  They give off an eerie aura that makes my head hurt.  Passing through into the next section, I see what appear to be cells.  Peering inside, I’m sickened.   _ Giants.  They were experimenting on giants.  Will that magister stop at nothing? _  I’m grateful that Lucis isn’t here to see this.  His connection to the natural world would make it difficult to see the world choked by such corruption.

There are more giants as I move forward, but these aren’t in cages, they’re just...dead.  I see bolts in the legs that I know were fired from Bianca.   _ They killed these? _  I’m impressed at the skill it must have taken.  I’m glad now that Tenebris and Etiam were with them.  I step carefully around the massive bodies, again experiencing that feeling deep in my temples.  I stop, cocking my head.  Tenebris said it has a call like an Archdemon.  Toth is quiet, not even a stirring, but I don’t dare touch any of the crystals.  There’s a humming, almost musical in nature.   _ Bartrand “heard the song”, is this what he meant? _

“Firefly,” Varric calls from the top of the stairs, but I don’t react.   _ We need to set this right.  Corypheus must be stopped.  If he’s doing this...he was our responsibility... _ I feel my thoughts getting slower, as if caught in the sticky web of a spider, the humming resonating with something inside me.

“Ferox?” he says again, putting a hand on my shoulder, having walked closer without my realizing it.  I meet his eyes, and it dawns on me what just happened.   _ That red stuff called to me. _

My expression must have given him an idea of what was happening, and he guides me toward the stairs, away from the body of the giant.

“There’s less of it up here,” he says, pulling me along by my hand.  I nod and willingly follow him.

Before coming here I’d been so excited about seeing Varric, but after witnessing what I just did, the  _ unnaturalness  _ of this place, I can’t summon anything but sadness.  I take a deep breath and follow Varric.  The others are at the top of the keep.  He was right, I can breathe a little easier here, and my head doesn’t hurt as much.  Varric squeezes my hand before he lets go.

“Ferox,” Declan greets me, smiling, and walks closer, only to stop when he sees my frown.  “What is it?”

“Declan...this place.  It’s  _ awful.” _

He nods, and moves to hug me, which causes Tenebris to frown.  “I know.  Sorry to have to bring you here.”

He keeps an arm around me, and I tilt my head to look at him.  “This can’t continue.  We have to stop Corypheus.”

“We  _ will _ stop him,” Declan promises, stepping back, and I smile at last.

“We have to find the bastard first,” Hawke says.  

Tenebris adds, “Every time we think we have a lead, he’s not there.”

“Yes,” Etiam agrees.  “His forces have been weakened, increasing the Inquisition’s chances at success, but Corypheus himself has been elusive.”

I face my middle brother.  “What’s your theory on where he is, Etiam?  You’re always so good at predicting things.”

“I’d say he’s hiding behind his troops right now.  He’s thrown his minions at the Inquisition one by one: The grand duchess, the red templars, Imshael.  These are the actions of an enemy who is either not ready to fight the Inquisition again directly and is just delaying the coming conflict; or has truly underestimated the growing power of the Inquisition.  It’s not clear which it is, but I’m sure he’s moving to make further grabs at power.  That is how he will reveal himself to us.”

The Iron Bull nods.  “If he’s falling back, looking for a way to gain a better position would be a good move.”

“You’re probably right.”  I look around.  “Where is Frederic?”

“He’s over on the far side, with the merchants that are moving in.”

“Merchants?  Is Maeven here?”

“She is,” he nods.

“I’ll be back.”  I walk quickly to the opposite side of the upper floor of the keep.  My friend is in the middle of setting a box down on top of a stack of others.  She spots me, and walks toward me.

“Maeven, it’s good to see you again,” I say, moving to hug my friend in greeting.  “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“It was a recent thing.  We were headed this way from the Exalted Plains, and a runner came and told us to change direction.  I hear you’re quite the big news around here…” she breaks eye contact, and I know she’s heard about me.

“Don’t worry, I’m still me...still Dragon Girl,” I laugh.

“I wasn’t quite sure how to act around you,” she admits with a small chuckle, “so that’s good to know.”

“I need more friends like you, Maeven.  I wish I could spend more time with you now, but I have to go back with the others.  Soon, though, okay?”

“Nothing last forever,” she says, “even war.  Have faith.”

I nod.  “The sooner we can finish this the better.  I didn’t expect it to be quite like this.  Be careful.  I’ll see you soon, but I need to talk with Frederic before I go.”

We hug one more time, and I move on to the Orlesian researcher.  “Frederic,” I call, getting his attention.  

“Miss Ferox,” he starts, and then finishes by greeting me in Draconic.  I respond in kind.

“I am afraid we did not cover that one,” he states with a smile.  

“I said the pleasure is all mine,” I tell him, and reach into my pack.  “Your accent is improving, by the way.  I have something for you;  I wanted to keep my promise to keep teaching you.  I’m sorry we can’t practice together right now, but this should help.”

Reading the first bit, his head raises again and I know he’s looking at me, despite that mask he wears.  “This is spectacular!  I will make use of it in your absence, I assure you.  I look forward to returning  to visit Cinder.”

I nod.  “I’d like that, too.  Unfortunately my own mission will take me from Skyhold and I probably won’t be there when you get there.”

“Until we next meet, then,” he says, and I get the impression that he is smiling behind his mask.  I wonder what Cole must make of him, remembering his words from the Winter Palace.  I look over, and see him conversing with Etiam.

_ There’s never enough time.   _ The thought of so many friendships makes me smile.  I never would have thought I would have been so connected to the people of the Inquisition.  I’ve made a lot of friends in my time with them, and I think I have Maeven to thank, truly.  She was the first to show me kindness, and have to expectations that I treat our friendship with respect.  If it weren’t for her, I might not have reacted to the others the same.  Simple, devout, unassuming Maeven.  I need to make good on my promise to see her again soon.

I reach the others again.  I see that Varric, Declan and Cassandra are now holding their packs.  “I’ve finished my business here, and I wouldn’t mind leaving, if you’re ready.”

“I have a question first,” Cassandra states.

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“This magic...what will it feel like?”

I look at Varric, and defer to him.  “You want to take this one, Love?  You’ve been through it a few times.”

“It’s terrible, like the primal forces of the world are ripping your guts out.  I hope you didn’t eat a big breakfast, Seeker.”

Her shocked expression is too much for me, and I burst out laughing.  She catches on and glares at him.

Etiam offers his arm to her, and looking up at him, she accepts, and they disappear from in front of us.  The Iron Bull and the others watch on with fascination.  Tenebris clamps a hand on Declan’s shoulder, and they too are gone.

“Our turn, Firefly,” Varric tells me.

“Before we go, I just want to say thank you, for before.  It wasn’t like that when we saw the red lyrium in Crestwood.”

He pulls my hand into his.  “Yeah, shit gets worse the longer you’re around it.  Let’s get out of here.”

The scene blurs, and we leave Emprise du Lion behind.


	53. Happiness

Chapter Fifty-Three: Happiness

 

When the world stills again, I’m standing in the courtyard at Skyhold, still holding Varric’s hand.  His warm light brown eyes settle on me, and my shoulders relax a little.

“Welcome home,” I tell him.

“For now, anyway,” he adds.  

“Maybe we can spend the afternoon together,” I respond.  Looking around the courtyard, I don’t see any of the others.  “Declan probably headed straight to the War Room.”

“Yeah, I think that boy’s forgotten how to take a break.”

“Then we need to go remind him.”  I grin.  I look up as we walk toward the stairs that will take us to the main keep.  Clear skies here at Skyhold.  It’s a little warmer than usual too.  I catch sight of a raven gliding into the rookery.

“If you trip on the stairs because you’re daydreaming, Firefly, I’m just going to watch and laugh.”

I chuckle.  “I would expect no less coming from you.”

“Just so we’re clear.”

I pay closer attention to where I’m walking, taking the steps more carefully.  We get a few looks from the noble guests milling around in the main hall, but we head straight for the door to the War Room.  When we reach the final empty hallway, I stop him.  He looks at me with a crooked eyebrow and shrugs a question.

“I never got to say hello properly…”  I say quietly, feeling a bit shy.

“Ohh, I don’t think they’ll wait that long, Sweetness.”

I giggle.  “Just kiss me, dwarf.”

His lips meet mine in a soft, but brief kiss, an unspoken promise.  “I missed you, Firefly.  You know, even after all that ugliness in that shithole, I see you again for five minutes and it already seems better.”

I flash him a wide smile.  “Then let’s go get this “saving the world” business out of the way, shall we?”

“Save the world?  But I had other plans for this afternoon…” he jokingly grumbles, and we’re both laughing as I open the door to the War Room.  Walking in, I see that everyone else has gathered, which makes it quite crowded around the large table.  Leliana catches my eye and smiles, seeing Varric and I still holding hands.

“Did you get lost on the way here?” Tenebris asks with a chuckle.

“I thought you would go to the courtyard first,” I explain, “but we’re here now.  What’s the word, Declan?”

“I was just getting to that.  Some of you haven’t met our newest guest yet.  This is Etiam, Ferox’s middle brother.  He’s already been very helpful in giving us a better idea of what we can expect at Adamant with the demons.”

I see my brother give a small nod of his head in acknowledgement.

Declan continues.  “Etiam, these are my advisors: Cullen, Commander of the Inquisition’s soldiers, Leliana, my spymaster, and Josephine, our ambassador.”

“A pleasure,” he says.   _ Never a wasted movement or word.  Efficiency at its best,  _ I think.  There was a time when I delighted in trying to mess with my brother’s perfectly ordered systems, moving his things, or intentionally pulling pranks to throw him off his guard.  Seeing him flustered brought me a sense of joy, but it, too, grew old.  Now I just watch his stiff interactions with affection.  That just is who Etiam is.  In many ways, his personality is not that different from the spirits.  I spend an amusing second imagining what my brother’s purpose would be if he were a spirit.  Would it be efficiency?  Balance?  Perfectionism?  I stifle a grin at that last one.   I mean, even his appearance is perfect, never a pale blonde hair out of place.

Declan looks around at the rest of us. “Now for the assignments, but I think we’re already aware of what those will be.  Varric, you’ll be going with me to Valammar to meet your contact about this lead.  Tenebris, you and Cassandra will join us.  I think it would also be a good idea to have Warden Blackwall along, as we’ll likely encounter darkspawn in the Deep Roads.

“Ferox, you’ll lead the team bound for the Storm Coast.  You, Sera, Lucis, and Alistair will go see what can be done about the ‘badass’ dragon.  Bull wanted you to know he’s quite annoyed he’s going to miss it and can’t believe you didn’t invite him.”

I grin.  “He loves dragons almost as much as I do.  But I’ve come up with a plan that I think will work.”

“Good.  We’ll take the remainder of the day to rest and prepare.  Both teams will leave together in the morning, taking the first leg of the journey together, but we’ll need to hurry back after our missions are complete to prepare for the assault on Adamant.”

I can almost hear a collective sigh of relief.   _ You grow accustomed to traveling, I suppose, but there’s nothing like sleeping in your own bed for a night. _

Delcan asks, “Josephine, where are we on the trebuchets?”

“Lady Seryl of Jader has agreed to our request.  The sappers should be delivered in about ten days.”

“Then that is all, I’ll see you in the morning.”

*             *             *

Varric and I waste no time getting back to our room.  He walks calmly into the bedroom, sets his things down, and proceeds to examine everything, looking at the legs of the chair and running his hands over the wall.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Looking for the damage your ‘girl talk’ with Bianca must have caused.”

I laugh.  “You finally get me alone after two weeks apart, and first thing you want to do is talk about your ex?”  

“No, I just...look, I know Bianca.  To be truthful, I’ve been a bit worried about you.  Usually I get assassins when her family finds out that she’s visited.”

“More talking about her,” I pout.  “What about me?”

He grins, and before I know it he’s kissing me, leaning into me, his tongue aggressive against my own.  I take a step backwards, and he fills the space in front of me again, driving me until my back hits something.   _ The door _ , I think.  His hand slides behind my head, tangling in my braided hair, as his mouth returns, his warm lips moving against mine in a gentler, giving kiss.  I respond, attempting to lean closer to capture his lips when he pulls away.

He lets go of my head and his hand moves to my shoulder, pushing me to turn around.  I comply, facing the door, and his lips find a new place to explore, pulling my collar down, and kissing the back of my neck.  I shiver.  “Varric…”  Rough hands run over my body, and I moan when I feel him press his lower body against me.

The warmth of his breath tickles my skin as his voice sounds against my ear.  “Trust me, Ferox, you have my  _ full _ attention.”   _ I love it when he says my name.  _

Some time later, I’m once again laying in our bed, wrapped in my lover’s arms, feeling sated and content.  He drags his fingers through my hair, now freed from its earlier braids, and I’m struck by a feeling of  _ rightness _ . 

“I hate that we’re being separated again,” I tell him.

“Yeah, not really a fan, either, but at least we have a few days together before we split up again.”  He inhales, a thought evidently coming to him.  “Hey, do you want to go do something this evening?”  he asks.

“Like what?”

I feel him shrug.  “I don’t know, I feel like we could use something just for fun in the midst of all this shit.”

I untangle my limbs from his and sit up to look at him.  “I’m game, any ideas?  
“Hm, game, huh?  How about a game of cards at the tavern?”

“That Wicked Grace thing you guys are always talking about?  I don’t even know how to play.”

“Even better,” he chuckles.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll catch on in no time.  I’ll invite the gang.”

*             *             *

Turns out Varric has no real intention of teaching me to play cards, at least not tonight, although he’s certainly  _ pretending _ to for the sake of the others.  Sitting close, our chairs pushed together, sharing a hand of cards, Varric leans in to “give me pointers”, but he’s really just using me as a distraction so he can cheat.

I don’t mind, honestly.  I doubt I’d be very good at gambling, especially the kind that involves bluffing.  But keeping up conversation to keep eyes off my beloved dwarf, or responding to his flirting so he can slip a card in his sleeve or stack the deck, that I can do.

I look around at the rest of the table.  Varric managed to get a few people to join, but that doesn’t surprise me, really, as he’s quite persuasive, and I’m sure the others could stand to blow off some steam.  Tenebris is the only one from my family to show up, and he’s sitting next to Declan, who is explaining the game to him.  

Seeing him fitting in with the humans warms my heart.  The Darkness has always been revered, but as Dorian’s story mentioned, it was with a touch of fear, as well.  The humans back then kept their distance, and he’d found it hard to feel like one of them; but maybe this time it can be different.  I find myself wondering how things went between him and Dorian.  I hadn’t had a chance to ask either of them before Varric and I came back.

Josephine is the wildcard.  I knew she was experienced at navigating nobles and social events, but I had no idea she’d be so good at cards.  I guess it makes sense.  Controlling your features and not letting on that you know what someone is really up to is what the Game is about, after all.  I’m pretty sure she’s realized that Varric and I aren’t playing fair, but she hasn’t said anything.

Cullen is a terrible card player.  I’m pretty sure he’s going home with empty pockets tonight.  Or maybe no pockets at all, with the way Josephine is trading jabs with him.  Sera and Blackwall round out the rest of the table.  Sera seems more interested in the drinks than the game, but her antics just get funnier the more drinks she’s had.  And, for Varric’s strategy, the more things pulling eyes away from us, the better.

Case in point, he trails a single finger down the side of my neck, causing me to laugh and look at him.  I feel his other hand on my leg and know the card he’d stored there earlier is now back in his hand or already up his sleeve.  “That tickles,” I protest, smiling.

“Sorry, I’ll quit distracting you,” he replied, no hint of the lie in his eyes.   _ He’s good at this. _  I wonder about Varric’s life in Kirkwall.  I know he’d run a spy network. I envision Leliana’s cold expression when we’d first met.  I have a hard time reconciling the Varric I know with that image, but I suppose even my sweet partner has had moments of ruthlessness.  Not that I’m better, of course.  I’d been vengeful when I was younger, letting my emotions run free without care to who got hurt in the process.  I hadn’t lied, Varric  _ does _ help.  I feel a pang thinking about what life will be like without him when he’s gone, but it quickly passes.  I’m too happy.  Today, this moment, the completeness that is us, that’s all that matters.

Finally, the game breaks up.  Josephine was the clear winner, the stack of coins in front of her threatening to topple over any minute.  Varric and I made out okay, not enough to rouse too much of a suspicion, but we came out a little ahead.  Poor Cullen, brash in his wagers, has indeed lost everything.  And I do mean  _ everything,  _ down to his smallclothes.  I hide my giggle behind my hand, but Cullen shoots me a glare, which just makes me laugh harder.

“Sorry, Cullen, I shouldn’t…” another peal of laughter finds its way out, and I’m joined by a few other chuckles around the table. 

Declan stands, and turns his back.  The rest of us follow his example, giving the Commander a bit of privacy.  I hear his footfalls speed out of the bar to the sound of more chortles of amusement at his expense.   _ I should probably apologize tomorrow if I get a chance.   _ Our evening’s revelry complete, the group starts to disband.  I catch my brother’s eye and point to him, letting him know I want to talk to him.

“I need to have a minute with Tenebris, I won’t be long.”

“He and Sparkler are fine.”

I turn and look at him.  “You knew?”

“They tried to hide it, Firefly, but I did just spend another two weeks with the two of them after you left.  All the signs were there.”

“I hope you’re right.”

He smiles and steps back, turning toward the door.  I take that as my cue that he’s giving the privacy with Tenebris that I had asked for.  My eyes seek my brother out, and I find him standing by the door.

“Walk with me?” I ask, and he nods.

We walk together out into the cool night air, which feels good on my ale-heated cheeks.  The night sky is full of stars, and I see the pleasant weather as another reminder of my current feelings.  I hope my brother has found the same.  Neither of us says anything until we’re away from the others, out by the training dummies, now standing like odd statues in the dark.

“I know what you’re going to ask, Sister.”  His expression is unreadable.

I exhale.  “Alright then, so…”

A small smile appears.  “Yes, Sister, you were right.  Dorian is...I can’t even describe it.  After he found out about who we are, and what I can do, I expected disgust, hatred, maybe even fear.  That’s what always happens, right?” he asks with a bitter shrug of his shoulders.  “But,  _ no _ , he still wanted to be with me.  I never thought I’d find someone who could really know me, and still want me.  But Dorian does.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“You know, I know it’s new, but I think might,” he admits with a sentimental smile.  I’ve never seen that expression on his face before.  “I’ve never had anything but casual relationships before, but with him, I find myself wanting...more.”

“I couldn’t be happier for you,” I say, moving to embrace my brother’s tall frame.  “You  _ deserve _ a little happiness.”  Backing away, I tell him, “Seeing you tonight, the way you were talking with Declan and Josephine...I feel like this is a new start for all of us.  Another chance to get it right with the mortals.”

“I want to believe that.”  Tenebris puts a hand on my shoulder, and our eyes meet.  “I was wrong to tell you to stay away from your dwarf.  He’s good to you.”

“Maybe there’s a chance we can both be happy.”  I sigh, remembering.  “For as long as it lasts, anyway.”

“He turned you down?” he asks, and his expression turns to concern.

I nod.  “It’s alright, Brother.  He was afraid of the idea of living forever alone if something happened to me.  I think I can understand that.  If I hadn’t had the three of you, this would have been so much harder.   I’ll respect his wishes.”

“I’m sorry, Sister.  I promise I’ll be there for you, as you will for me.”

“You haven’t asked him?  It’s not as though magic scares Dorian, and I get the impression that the increased power might even appeal to him.  It would certainly help strengthen his position in Minrathous and his efforts to change the Magisterium.”

“Yeah, but it’s still new...and I think I might be the one who is afraid.”

“That’s the good thing about not getting older: we have the luxury of time.  But if it’s what you want, don’t wait too long.  Dorian doesn’t have our kind of time.”

He nods, contemplative.  “I know.”

“I love you, Brother.  I’m glad you have someone to share your life with.  If he says yes, I’ll help you convince Etiam and Lucis.”

He smiles, a sincere vulnerability I never expected to see from him.   _ Dorian is good for him, too _ .  “Thanks,” he says.  “You’d better get back.”

“Goodnight, Brother.”


	54. Partnerships

Chapter Fifty-Four: Partnerships

 

The conversation with my brother killed the tipsy feeling I’d been having from the few ales I’d consumed, and now I feel a little saddened, thinking about what lies ahead for us both.  But I’m determined to enjoy the time I have with Varric.  I return to Varric’s side, and we head back to our room.  “ _Our room”, I love the sound of that._  We put our things down and prepare for bed.  

Varric looks at me.  “You alright, Firefly?  You’ve been quiet since we left the tavern.”

“Just thinking.  Oh, I decided I know what I want for my _anything_ that you still owe me.”

“Right,” he chuckles, reclining in the bed.  I join him happy, taking my favorite place next to him.  “And what does my goddess of summer desire?”

“Before I found out about the dragon, I was going to ask you to reconsider letting me to go to the Deep Roads with you, but after Suledin Keep, I’m not looking to spend any more time around that red lyrium stuff than I have to.”

“Smart girl, but you were getting to what you want,” he reminds me.

I nod.  “Will you tell me what Bianca wanted to talk about?” I look at him hopefully.

He pauses.  “You mean you really _weren’t_ listening in?”

I shake my head emphatically.  “No. I trust you, Varric.  You asked for privacy. It was hard, but I wanted to respect that.  If you’d rather not tell me, I understand, but I won’t lie and say I don’t want to know.”

“So did she - want to know about you, that is.  Oddly enough, I think you somehow made a good impression on her.  I didn’t think that was even possible.”

“She wanted to talk about me.  I kind of figured.”  I crawl under the covers with him and get comfortable.

“I would have told you that anyway.  Shit, I was under the impression you already knew.  So that doesn’t count.  I still owe you one,” he says, hugging me a little closer.

“Hm, I’ll have to think of something good, then.”

He runs his fingers through my hair.  “Let me know.  Oh, I’ve been wondering something, about your life before you came here.”

“I have a lot of history; it would take too long to tell it all,” I laugh.  “If there’s something that you want to know, just ask.”

“What did you do all day before you joined the Inquisition?”

 _“That’s_ your question?” I ask.  “Okay, well, you already know that I would watch the world of the mortals through the Watcher’s Well, but a lot of my time was also spent caring for the generals and talking with them.  We let most of them sleep right now, as we’re still waiting out the Blights.  Only one or two are awake at any time, but I make sure the others are secure, that their sleeping areas are kept clean.”

“That’s why you don’t mind horses; I bet horse shit is nothing compared to a dragon.”

I laugh.  “It’s not like that, really, they’re more...frozen in time?  Held stable through magic.  But think about it, would you want to wake up covered in a hundred years worth of dust?”

“No, I suppose not.  So that’s what you did for the couple of days you were gone?”

“A little, but I was more taking care of Lucis.  My brother is better, but he’s still not himself.”

Varric thinks for a minute.  “You’ll have a full charge on your ring when you get to the Storm Coast, right?”

“Yeah, but what are you getting at, Varric?”

“You’re taking your brother, who you yourself admit is unstable.  If it goes bad, grab Buttercup and the Warden and get your adorable ass out of there.”

That makes me smile.  “I like that you worry about me.  Not that I _want_ to worry you, stars, that came out wrong.”

He chuckles.  “I get it, Firefly, but if I can’t be there to help, I like knowing you at least have an escape route.”

“It’s a lightning dragon, I’m confident I can handle this one.  I’m more concerned about you.  I know stopping Corypheus’s red lyrium supply is important, but I don’t trust Bianca.  I think there’s more to this than she’s letting on.”

He sighs.  “You never know with Bianca, but I’ll have three of the toughest fighters in the Inquisition with me.  I’ll be fine.”

“Good point.  Cassandra can be a bit scary at times.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Oh, speaking of lightning dragons…”

He turns his head toward me with a chuckle.  “I thought we were talking about the Seeker.”

“I don’t want to talk about her anymore,” I laugh.

“Yeah, me neither,” he admits with a small huff of air.  “So dragons…”

“My favorite general was awake back home:  Tempestas, the ancient dragon of lightning.”  I lean up to look at him.  “You’d like her I think.”

“What makes you say that?”  His voice is getting softer, and I realize he’s getting tired.

“We can talk about this another day, love.  We should get some sleep.  I’m just glad we’re making the first part of the journey together.”

“A few more nights of getting to hold you sounds great,” he mutters.  “I love you, Ferox.”  A gentle kiss presses against my forehead.  

“Forever,” I whisper.

*             *             *

I wake to the familiar scratching of Varric writing.   _I love that sound_.  I look over, and see that he’s so engrossed again that he’s forgotten to stoke the fire.  I sit up, grabbing the extra blanket, and take it over to him.

“Silly writer, what would you do without me?” I ask.

“Pine away for the rest of my life, no doubt,” he says without hesitation, not looking away, but reaching out his free hand for the blanket.  “Can you get the fire, too?  I didn’t realize it was so cold in here.”

“Sure, Love.”  A couple of pieces of wood, a tiny fire spell, and the room warms quickly.

“Thanks.”

“What are you writing this time?  More crime serials?” I ask, attempting to peek.

He covers the pages with his hands.  “Oh no, no previews.  You don’t get to see this until it’s finished.”

“Oh really?” I tease, and rough up his hair.  He sputters and I laugh at his expression.  “Don’t stay up too late, okay, Varric?  This might be the last chance we have for decent sleep.”

He looks up at me, his gentle smile cast in the contrasting lines of light and shadow, and the room suddenly feels even warmer.  At his nod of agreement I pad back to the bed and gratefully return to the still-warm covers.  I lay awake for a few minutes, listening to him return to his work before I drift off again.

The next morning, I reluctantly leave the soft bed, and we wash up and get ready for our journey.  I watch Varric dress, fastening up his trousers and pulling on his boots.  Still shirtless, he looks over and notices me looking at him.  

“What?” he asks, turning a hand upward to punctuate his question.

“Nothing, just enjoying the view.”  I grin, short-lived as he stalks toward me, his own wicked smile spreading across his face.

“Varric, we don’t have time…” I protest, putting my hands out in front of me to warn him off.

“Too late, Firefly,” he says, and tips me over onto the bed, kissing my neck, pinning me down with his weight.  “You delectable minx.”  He chuckles against my skin before pulling away.  “But you’re right, we don’t have the time.”  He extends his hand to help me back up.

I giggle, accepting it.  I finish my own preparations, brushing and braiding my hair. I wrap the braids around my head losely, allowing several of the tendrils to fall and tickle the skin of my neck as Varric had just done minutes before.  I’m wearing the black and gray armor, but my mood is far different from the day I had embraced the cold and gone numb.   _How far we’ve come, my love._

We pick up our bags, mostly packed before we had left for the tavern last night, and stuff the past few remaining things inside before going to meet the others.  Knowing that two of my brothers are going on this trip is wonderful.  I’m glad Lucis agreed.  I wonder what Etiam is up to, though.  

I don’t have long to wonder, for as we pass Solas’s room, I see Etiam conversing with the elven god.   _They were always been close, before_ _._  I pause at the bottom of the stairs, causing Varric to stop and look back at me.  I nod my head toward them.  His expression reads recognition, and with a small bow, he continues on without me.

“Good morning, you two,” I call, stepping into Solas’s quarters.

“Hello, Sister,” Etiam greets me.

“Ferox,” Solas says with a small nod.

“What are the two of you conspiring about?” I tease, but but I get only a wry smile from Solas.

“We were discussing a friend of mine,” Solas explains.

“A spirit friend?” I clarify.

“Precisely.  She has been captured by mages in the Exalted Plains, summoned against her will, I believe.  I heard her cry as I slept.  I appealed to Declan for assistance, but as you know, he is occupied elsewhere.  Etiam has agreed to accompany me.”

I look at my brother.  His expression says very little, but I know it makes him happy to help spirits.

“I wish I could go with you, but I also have a mission,” I sigh.  “Hey wait, what about the Krem and the other Chargers?  Bull won’t be back for a few days yet, but I bet Declan would be willing to spare some, if not all of them.”

“That is an excellent idea; I believe I will ask him before your departure,” Solas replies, the hint of a smile gone almost as soon as it appears.

I turn to my brother again.  “I’m glad you’ll have something to occupy your time.  I was worried you would become restless here without the three of us.”

“I can endure without you,” he says, a smile finally lighting up his all-too-serious face.  “I’m just glad that Lucis will be with you.  He seems to be improving.”

I nod.  “You two be careful, okay?”

We all walk together outside, and see them head toward where Declan is standing with Tenebris.  With the five of us standing united with the Inquisition, defeating Corypheus should be easy.  We just need to remove a few of his resources.  Between the red lyrium and hopefully getting the Wardens away from him at Adamant, our victory is assured.  I smile and whistle a little as I walk over to Varric, who is near our mounts.

“Pleasant chat?” he asks with a grin.

“Yep.  I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really happy my brothers are here.  With them on our side, there’s no way we can lose.”

“Good to hear,” Alistair comments as he joins us, his blue Warden armor shining in the morning sunlight.

“I like this act of rebellion,” I state, gesturing to indicate his choice of wardrobe.

“Yeah,” Varric adds.  “It screams _you kicked me out, but you can’t keep me out.”_

“Oh good, and here I thought they might not get what I was going for,” he replies, grinning, but then says in all seriousness, “It won’t be the first time I’ve been one of the last couple of Wardens left in Ferelden.  We managed well enough back then.  We can do it again.”

I look over at Warden Blackwall, who is talking with Cassandra.   _Good luck,_ I think, but just nod at him.

“Thanks for agreeing to be my babysitter,” I say to Alistair.

“Well, technically I guess I would be babysitting the Archdemon, no that doesn’t sound right.”

“Babysitting an Archdemon...sounds like a great idea for a story.  I gotta use that,” Varric comments, thinking.

Alistair smiles.  “I forgot what it was like to travel with you, Varric.  How _is_ Isabela, anyway?”

Varric coughs, looking away.  “Right enough, I suppose.  You know Isabela.”

“Not as well as she would have liked.  That woman is persistent.”

“Wait.  We’re talking about Garrett’s Isabela, right?” I ask.  “She was _hitting on you?”_

“Firefly,” Varric cautions.  “I told you, we’re not getting in the middle of their stuff.  Besides, this was after she left him.”

“Isabela was with the _Champion?”_ Alistair exclaimed.  “How in the blazes did I not know know that?” he asks, shaking his head and talking emphatically with his hands.

“Isabela hit on everything that moved.  It didn’t always mean anything,” Varric says, sighing.

Etiam walks over.  Our conversation dies out as I wait to see what he wants.  “Yes, Etiam?  What is it?”  

“Thank you for your suggestion.  Declan said the Chargers were already assigned to a mission, but he gave us some person named Sutherland and his crew.  Says they should be of help and could use more experience in the field.”

“I hope Solas’s friend is okay,” I tell him.

“As do I,” he says, with a bow, and heads back to Solas.

Varric gives me a strange confused look, but before he can ask anything, Declan announces that we’re ready to take off, and it’s back on the road.  I expect Varric to ask the question, but after a few minutes and he hasn’t said anything, I realize magic must be at work here.  How else could Solas still be in hiding?   _How_ is _he doing this, anyway?_


	55. The Storm Coast

Chapter Fifty-Five: The Storm Coast

 

The trip out of the mountains takes a few days, but all too soon I have to say goodbye to Varric and head with my own group to the north while they move south toward Valammar.  It feels strange, being in charge.  No one has really trusted my judgment like that before, and it feels nice.  I set my shoulders, determined not to make Declan regret this.

Lucis is back to being charming again.  It’s probably draining him to keep it up all day, but I do appreciate it.  He’s even pleasant with Sera, who doesn’t always make it easy with her pranks and teasing.  The two of them are walking behind Alistair and me.  

Alistair looks over and meets my eye.  “Sooo,” he says, leading in, and I know he’s about to ask me something personal.

“Yeeess, Alistair?” I ask with a chuckle, taking him a little off-guard.

He blinks a couple of times before continuing.  “So you’re a god, right?”

“Yes, I believe we’ve been over that part already.”

“And you watch the world; can see what’s going on in different places?”

Realization dawns on me.  “You want to know how she’s doing.”

He exhales in relief at my guess.  “That obvious, was I?  You already know what she’s working on, don’t you?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Has she found it?”   


“Not the last I saw, although she and the other Wardens were hard at work researching and conducting experiments.”

_ “Other _ Wardens?” He asks, arching an eyebrow.  “I was under the impression she was alone.”

“No, Anders is with her.”

He turns to look at me, concerned.  “And he’s...alright?”

I nod, smiling.  “Yes, he and Justice are a bit better now.  I think Kirkwall messed with his head a little.  Best he’s not around Corypheus, though.  Last time was hard enough on them.”

“Anyone else?”

“Nathaniel Howe...oh, and Avernus.  He’s been quite instrumental in what progress she has made.”

He stops, and I turn to look at him.  His brow is wrinkled, as though warring with himself.  “Do you - the gods, that is - have the answer she’s been looking for?”

I think about it.  “We’ve never tried to reverse the Joining before, but it’s possible.  Blight magic is Tenebris’s area of expertise, and dragons are mine.  I don’t know if it would work or not.”

“And would you...be willing to try it?”

“Of course, Alistair.  I don’t give my gratitude easily, but you’ve earned it.  Once we’ve defeated Corypheus, and if we’re not at risk of provoking Toth, we could try...but it’s just as possible that it might kill you.”

He nods with a gentle smile.  “All the same, it’s closer than we’ve been before.  I’ll send word to her when we get back from the mission.  Thank you, Ferox.”

“Of course.”

I look back to find Lucis watching me.  He smiles.   _ I’m so glad I brought him along for this. _  We travel on for the next few days, enjoying the warmer weather as we near the coast.  It’s been a long time since my brother and I have been out this way, and a feeling of nostalgia starts to settle in.  I can tell we’re getting close from the shift in the air currents, and the salty smell of the sea coming in off the breeze.

We reach the top of a final rise and I see it:  the wide expanse of the sea, stretching out into the mists.  Pillars of rock jut up out of the water and the waves breaking against them spray in the air.

“You can’t even see the other shore!” Sera comments in awe.  “That’s far…”

Lucis walks up behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder.  “It feels a little like coming home, doesn’t it, Sister?” he said, his voice soft and full of memory.

Alistair remarks, “Right, Cullen said you four were born here.”

I nod.  “I’d forgotten what it smells like.”  I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the warm humid air and it’s like breathing in life itself.  I’m filled with a rush of energy and hug my brother.

Lucis points upward and I tilt my head to look.  Seabirds, of course, but beyond that, the bluest sky I’ve ever seen.  I remember this place getting a  _ lot _ of rain, so to see a day like this was rare.  I hope that my happy mood and excitement can help keep the pleasant weather going.

“There should be a camp nearby,” I tell them, remembering viewing it on the map from earlier.  This terrain was once very familiar to me, but it’s changed in the time that we were gone from the world.  Still, the misty crests of waves crashing against the rocky shoreline, the treacherous hillscapes that threaten to snap an ankle, and the wonderful scent of the sea - this was home to us once.

I take lead, following the directions from the map, and we locate the camp down near the beach.  

I wave at the agents at this remote outpost, wondering how long they’ve been out here.  Of course, if I had my choices of places to be stationed for a while, I’d probably pick the beach too, even if it’s a bit rainy.  One of the agents is patrolling the coast a bit further in, but one waits for us at the edge of the camp.

“Greetings!” I call as we get close, and pull out the orders Declan had given me before we parted.

“Good to see friendly faces again,” the agent says.  “Only folks out this way lately have been those ‘Blades of Hessarian’ bunch, and they don’t chat much.”

“I’m Ferox,” I say in way of introduction, “this is my brother Lucis, that’s Sera, and behind her, Warden Alistair.  Don’t let the armor fool you, he’s with the Inquisition.”

“Charm,” she says, sticking out her hand.

“Don’t you mean charmed?” I ask.

“No,  _ Charm. _  That’s my name,” she says, chuckling.  I take her hand and shake it.

Sera giggles.  “Your parents...a bit bonkers, weren’t they?”

Charm has the good grace to smile.  “I’ve heard it all before.  I think my mother wanted a daughter who was a bit more ladylike.  Instead she got me.”

I smile at that.  “We’re headed to the red templar stronghold to the south.  What can you tell us?”

“Watch out for the damned spiders,” she says with a laugh.  “Seriously, though, we haven’t been back for a while, but we did spot a few stragglers not far from there.  Be careful.”

I nod.   _ It’s still pretty early, barely even midday.  We should press on, get closer before we settle in for the night. _

“Wait,” Charm says, looking at the documents from the Inquisitor.  “This says here that you’re to go to the island with the dragon.”

“That’s right,” I confirm.

“But that place is overrun with dragonlings!  You can’t go out there!”

I look at my companions.  Lucis smiles, Alistair nods, and Sera just raises her eyebrows in question.  “We’ll be fine,” I assure Charm.  “You must not have heard about me.  I’m Dragon Girl.”

She looks at me warily.  “Alright, if you’re sure you know what you’re doing.”

I take the documents back from her.  “Thanks.  We’ll stop back by once we’re done out there.”

She looks skeptical, but puts a hand over her heart. “For the Inquisition,” she says.

I bow my head a little to her before we take off again.  Once out of earshot further down the shoreline, I mutter, “Stars, why does everyone always think I’m going to die?”

“Well, that wyvern thing came pretty close,” Sera reminds me.

“What thing with what wyvern?” Lucis wants to know, concern making his eyebrows knit together, his cheerful expression forgotten.

“I got hit with snowy wyvern venom.  I wasn’t really in danger, we had the antidote.  It was mostly a paralytic.”

“Nah, I saw it, I’d bet you have a killer scar from it,” Sera replies.

_ “Not helping _ , Sera,” I say, giving her a death glare.  She just shrugs and looks away.

“I’ve never heard of a snowy wyvern,” Lucis admits.

“I’ve never  _ fought _ one,” Alistair comments, “but they’re supposed to be tougher and more venomous than the normal kind.” 

“They’re a recent variation, apparently,” I say.

“Ugly arseholes,” Sera adds. “Looked like someone shaved it.  Like it was supposed to have scales or something, but they were missing…” She breaks off in giggles.  “What if...what if they all look like that, under the tough hide.  Naked!”  She erupts in a fit of laughter, and I join in.

“Naked wyverns, huh?” Alistair asked with a grin.  “Sounds terrifying.”

“Dragonlings will seem like nothing compared to that,” Lucis states, the smile returning.  “But you’ll have to let me examine this wound of yours.”

“It was a while ago, Brother.  I’m fine.”  I give his arm a reassuring squeeze.  

“So  _ about _ these dragonlings…” Alistair prompted.

“Right, that’s why we need Lucis.  His glyphs are perfection,” I tell them, and see my brother give a genuine smile in response to my praise.  “He can also make them mobile, at least until they’re triggered.  So we’ll have a ring of glyphs around us, waiting to go off when one gets too close.  If they step on one, it will paralyze them.  I’ll use some walls of ice, redirect them, and can help out with a few ice mines to freeze them in place if needed, allowing us to get further ahead.”

“So that’s it?” Alistair asked.  “We stroll across Dragon Island with glyphs and ice walls?”

I shake my head.  “No, dragonlings are fast.  Lucis will caste Haste on all of us, and  _ we run _ .”

“Run,” Sera said, nodding, but a frown forms on her forehead,  _ “toward  _ the dragon.”

“Yeah.  If I’m right about the timeline, these dragonlings shouldn’t be newborns.   _ I _ can’t talk to anything less than a high dragon, but the Vinsomer should be able to call her babies back once I get her to talk to me.  The trick is holding them off long enough without really hurting them.  If we start killing her babies, she may lose her concentration.”

“And what if that doesn’t work?” Alistair states.  “You said yourself, your calculations may be off.”

I nod, having had several days to think about it.  “If she starts attacking you all, don’t hold back.  Kill her.  She’ll be defending her nest, and she won’t stop until the threat is dead.”   _ High dragons without reason are dangerous, and unpredictable, but it would be terrible to lose one, especially on my first mission as leader.   _ _ I need to make sure it doesn’t come to that.  I  _ will  _ make her listen to me. _

Sera looks worried again.  I walk to her, and look up into her eyes.  “You have two gods with you.  There’s nothing to worry about.”

The frown deepens.

It takes a few more hours until we spot the stone entrance to the stronghold.  There are no signs of any kind of life.  No spiderwebs near the door, no red templar soldiers, just the yawning mouth of the entrance underground.  I don’t like being underground, where I can’t see the sky.  It makes me nervous.

“Let’s backtrack a little further, and make camp for the night,” I instruct them.  “We don’t want to get stuck trying to navigate the island in the dark.  We’ll set out first thing in the morning.”

*             *             *

Later that night, we place our tents in a slightly sheltered spot in a cove that juts inland and build a small fire next to the stream.  Lucis and I only set up one tent for the two of us, without either one us saying a word about it.  I know after working so hard to get along with the others that he probably needs the comfort of sleeping near one another.  I don’t mind.  Having my brother nearby keeps me from missing Varric as much.

As I put out the bedrolls, I notice my pendant glowing.   _ Varric! _  I sit down just outside the tent, and quickly connect the magic.  But it’s not Varric or Tenebris that I see when the image opens.

“Hawke?” I ask, dumbfounded.  I never expected him to contact me.

“I know I’m not Varric, but you could look a  _ little _ happier to see me, Dragon Girl,” he jokes.

“Sorry Garrett, I didn’t mean anything by it.  You just surprised me, is all.  What’s going on?”  I smile at my friend, and I didn’t realize how much I missed him too.  I barely even saw him in Emprise du Lion before we’d all taken off, and I hadn’t had a chance to really say anything to him.

“I’m back in Skyhold, and- oh, hey Lucis,” he comments as my brother takes a seat  beside me.  “Cullen wanted me to ask how things are going.”  The image moves and I see the familiar lines of Cullen’s face.

“Hi Cullen,” I greet him.  “Things have gone well.  We’ve reached the Storm Coast, and we’re camped not far from where the red templars had their stronghold before.  We’re planning to go to the island in the morning.”

“Excellent, any word from the other team?” he asks.

“No, not in a couple of days.  I’m guessing they’re underground by now.”

“That’s a problem?”

Lucis answers, “The Well works better with things outdoors, so it might be interfering with the magic.”

I hear Garrett in the background, “That makes sense.  We tried connecting with them first, but it wouldn’t work.”

Cullen looked back into the image, at me.  “Good to know it’s nothing to be concerned about yet at this stage.”

“I’ll try them, too, see if I can get it to work, but that alone doesn’t mean anything,” I respond.

Lucis adds, “Tenebris is with them.  He could easily return to Skyhold, or here, for that matter, if there were trouble.”

“You’re right,” Cullen acknowledged.  “Thank you for your report.  How are you doing leading, Ferox?”

“Alright so far, but one of the agents out here, Charm, said that the island was ‘overrun’.  That doesn’t sound promising.”

“Be careful,” Garrett says from out of sight from the pendant.  

“We will.  There are two gods here, so we’ll be fine.  I just don’t want to lose the dragon if we don’t have to.”  I think for a moment.  “The agents out here are isolated, and they’re getting bored.  You should consider rotating assignments for some of your people. It will keep their eyes and ears fresh.”

“Not a bad idea,” Cullen admits.  “I’ll speak with Sister Leliana about it.”

“Is that all, then?” I ask.

“For now,” he says.

Garrett’s face appears again in the blue field of magic.  “Oh, if you do talk to Varric, say hello for me.  That Bianca’s always been trouble for him.”

“Yeah, I don’t really trust her, either.  But Varric’s a big boy; he can handle himself just fine.  I trust him to make the right calls.  Hey, tell the Iron Bull I’m sorry, and I’ll try to bring him along for the next dragon if I can.”

Garrett winces.  “He griped about it the whole way home.  Best I not mention it, it’ll just start him going again.”

I laugh.  “Be well, Garrett, we’ll see you soon.”

“Goodnight, Ferox.”  The magic ends, and Hawke is gone.  I try connecting to Tenebris, but as suspected, there’s no answer.   _ Please be okay.  I’ll roast Bianca and feed her to the wolves if she double crosses you. _

I look up at Lucis.  “He’s fine, Sister.  Don’t worry.”  A warm, comforting arm settles around my shoulder.

Across the way, Alistair is shaking his head.  “I’ll never get use to that thing,” he comments.  Sera stares, her expression unreadable.

I get closer to the fire and sit down, facing her, and Lucis settles in next to me.  “It’s just a way to talk to people. Sera.  It doesn’t hurt anybody, and it doesn’t summon demons,” I explain, trying to guess at her fears before she panics.

“If you say so,” she says cautiously.  “So what  _ are _ you and Varric going to do when this is over, huh?  Sail off into the sunset and make god-babies?”

Alistair has his waterskin to his lips and sputters, droplets flying everywhere.  I can’t help it, his expression is too priceless and I snicker.  “You okay?” I ask, trying to contain my amusement.

“Yeah,” he says, cheeks flushing a little from embarrassment.  “Er, I just choked, I’m good.  Really.”

I look back to Sera.  “To answer your question, I’m not sure, but we’ve talked about going to Kirkwall.  Varric will write, of course.  Frederic seems to think more people would be interested in learning the Draconic language, so I might actually teach.  Or, I could always continue teaching magic.  Free mages still need instruction on how to control their power and ward their mind against demons.  Maybe I’ll open a university if the Circles aren’t reinstated.  It’s what we did...a lot time ago.”

“You taught magic in ancient times?” Alistair asks, eyebrows arching upwards.

“The humans learned magic from us.  The elves, of course, had their own gods, and the dwarves didn’t have magic, even back then.  We didn’t interact much with the Kossith.  We four founded the four schools of magic, and much of what is taught to this day is just a variation on the knowledge we gave the humans so long ago.”

“And the dragons?” he questions.

“You mean their magic?”

He nods, and I continue.  “Dragons are unique.  They’re like lyrium, in a way.  They  _ are _ magic, carry it within them.  When an elder dragon becomes an ancient, a new type of magic is born.  The dragons may or may not share that knowledge with our kind.  The ancients are wise, having lived a  _ very _ long time.”

“So that’s why my bloodline…”

I nod.  “Your ancestor changed things for you by what he did, Alistair.  Your line will carry that magic forever, passing it on to your offspring.”

He smiles, and I know he’s thinking about my offer earlier to try to reverse his Joining.  Even if only one of them reverts back, their chances of conceiving a child would improve dramatically.

“Sera, what about you?” I ask.  “Will Red Jenny be needed elsewhere?”

“Always some big hat in need of a lesson…” she says, but frowns.

“But…” I lean in, encouraging her to continue.

She laughs.  “You said butt.  But seriously...shite, now I’ve said it.”  Lucis laughs next to me, and I look over to see his grin.

Lucis surprises me by speaking up.  “What would you wish to do?” he asks her.

“I dunno,” Sera answers.  “It just...we’ve been doing something here.  It don’t feel right just going back to the way things were,” she says, twiddling her fingers.

“Maybe they don’t have to,” I reply.  “We don’t know what Declan’s plans are.  Maybe there will still be a need for the Inquisition.  Or I’m sure Kirkwall could use someone of your talents.  I bet Garrett will end up back there was well.”

“Kirkwall, huh?” she says, thinking it over.  “Kirkwall had a Jenny, but I hear she gave it up.  Might be a place for me, after all.  I’ll think it over.”

A yawn hits me out of the blue.

“I guess it’s getting late,” Lucis observes.  “We should get some rest.  Tomorrow will likely be taxing on both of us.”

I nod.  “Goodnight,” I tell Sera and Alistair before going inside the tent.  

I don’t have to duck too much, but Lucis does.  We lay down and he pulls me close to his chest in an embrace.  

I smile.  “You did well today, Brother.  I’m proud of you.”

“I’m glad you’re happy,” he says, and pulls back away, settling down in for sleep.  We hold hands again as we drift off to a restful sleep.


	56. Templars and Dragons

Chapter Fifty-Six: Templars and Dragons

 

The next morning dawns overcast and dull gray and I can tell that the sunny weather from yesterday is a thing of the past.  Rain will hit soon, but I guess it’s good we’re going to be underground for a short while.

I go first into the darkened interior of the red templar stronghold.  A little light filters in from the doorway, but it will be hard to see in here.  I summon a wisp to help with my spellcasting and provide light, and I see Lucis doing the same.  Light spreads from both of us, illuminating a small circle.  I walk forward, and it doesn’t take long before I spot another glow ahead.  A  _ red _ glow.

“Right, red lyrium,” I grumble.  “I hate that stuff.  Lucis, you’d better prepare yourself.  And whatever you do,  _ don’t touch it.”   _ I remember what had happened in Emprise du Lion, and that it had taken Varric to pull me away from the corrupted body of the giant.  “Stuff gets in your head, makes you want to, but don’t listen.”

Alistair flashes a look of concern in my direction, but I gave him a small smile.  “It’ll be okay.  We’ll have to see how bad it is down there.”

I take the tunnel ahead, and see that it leads in two directions: down a set of stairs, or around an upper walkway.  Thankfully I have Declan’s report about where to go, and we avoid wrong turns.  Traveling through the storeroom at the end of the upper walkway, we enter a tunnel, and then another larger chamber.  This room is much brighter due to the cursed crystal formations growing out of the floor and sides of the tunnel in several spots.

“This stuff grows like weeds,” I comment, quickening my steps to force the march past the singing red monoliths.  That is, until I see one _move._

“Maker’s Breath,” Alistair breathes.  “That thing is alive!”  

He and Sera scramble to ready their weapons, and I feel a sense of relief when I feel the familiar casting of Lucis’s glyphs.   _Protection underneath, paralysis ahead.  Good work, Brother._   I spare a second to grin at him before turning back to the red crystal behemoth.  I can only assume it was once human, like the twisted figures with the crystals coming out through their skin that I’d seen in the courtyard of Suledin Keep.   _ This must be what happens when the red lyrium finally takes over. _

It still has a mostly humanoid shape, but now appears to be make entirely of the red crystal with one hand grotesquely distorted into a pointed claw.  It swings it like a mace, hitting the ground not far from where I’m standing, and the stone beneath our feet shakes with a tremor.   _ Freeze it.   _ I swing my staff into position and try Winter’s Grasp, but like the red templars Tenebris and I had fought in the Hissing Wastes, it only slows it instead of stopping it.

I curse under my breath and take a few steps backward, but just then the huge claw arcs forward again and a wall of red lyrium erupts out of the ground behind me, trapping me in with the creature and separating me from the others.

_ “Ferox!” _ Lucis shouts.

I feel the earth tremble and I know my brother is casting something again.  I hear the sound of steel hitting stone, telling me that Alistair and Sera are trying to bring down the barrier closing me in with the hulking behemoth.   _ But how long till then? _  It steps forward hitting the glyph in front of me, and thankfully this one stuns it for a second.  I drive a bolt of lightning through its massive body and I see it spasm in pain, but I can’t tell how much damage it’s doing.  I hit it with another, just as wooden spikes rise up through the stone floor, skewering the behemoth, pinning it in place.  

The crystal behind me shatters, creating an opening, and I see Alistair standing behind it.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

I nod, and step back through, allowing Alistair to rush in, sword in one hand, shield in the other.  With a massive hit, the creature loses a limb.  Sera has created a smaller opening where she was working, enough to be able to aim her bow through the space.

Lucis’s glyph fades, and I realize it’s only a matter of time until the wooden weapon piercing the beast retracts back into the earth as well.  An idea hits me.  Wood...water.  I grin in anticipation.  Most mages assume the storm is all about the lightning, but it’s not.  The water is equally as important, although that skill hasn’t been taught in a long time.  It’s just as well as it’s hard to control.  I drop my staff.  I won’t need it here.

“Alistair step back,” I command.  He hesitates, but does so, holding his shield in front of him as he retreats.

Starting low, slowly raising my left hand, I connect my magic with the water inside the roots my brother created, following it all the way upward into the branches still inside the behemoth.  It feels a little like using the water of the Well, only harder to keep the connection, as though I'm lifting the weight of the water with my magic.  Finally, I call the lightning with my right hand, and slam my fists together.  The bolt strikes the water-soaked wood.  Bark catches fire, and the wood splinters and cracks from the impact.  For a second, the cavernous space is as bright as day, lit from the magical lightning, a burst of air blowing against us, stirring my hair.  The behemoth’s body can’t withstand the force of the impact, and shatters outward in tiny fragments, the bulk sliding to the ground with an audible thump.

Breathing heavily, I grip my staff and bring the wisp back.  Lucis grabs me and hugs me close.  “You scared me there.”

“I’m alright, thanks for helping.  That thing...lyrium did  _ that?” _

“How could this have happened?” Lucis asks, sighing, looking at the shards of crystal lying all over the cavern.  “You said the lyrium was corrupted, but this is far worse than I imagined.  It was so hard to call the nature magic.  That wouldn’t have happened with regular lyrium.  It’s as though this red stuff is choking the very life out of the world itself.”

“Yeah, that’s the way I felt when I went to Suledin Keep.  We shouldn’t stay here around this stuff; we need to move.  Hopefully we don’t run into any more of those things.”

He nods.  Sera retrieves a couple of usable arrows and we head back down the tunnel.  The tunnel is clear through the next section, and we don’t encounter any more enemies.  Being underground makes me wonder how Varric’s doing.   _ Whatever happens, just come back. _

The path widens again, and I can smell the sea again.  The ground here is littered with the bodies of dead templars, partially decomposed now.  Wrinkling my nose in disgust, thankful for the strong breeze that flows through this chamber, carrying the scent of the dead away, I step around the bodies.  

A set of wooden stairs takes us down to a dock, and a boat.   _ This is it, off to see the Vinsomer! _  I catch something in my peripheral vision, and turn to get a better view.  Cages.  And inside... _ oh stars, no _ .

My eyes meet my brother’s, and his expression reads the same discouragement that mine does.

Alistair looks back and forth between the two of us.  “Okay you two, not of all of us speak twin.  What is it?”

I point to the cages, and realization dawns on him.  “Maker...they were catching them.”

I nod.  “Those are dead newborn dragonlings...covered in red lyrium.  Shit,  _ that’s _ what the templars were doing out on the island.  Mama is not going to like that.”

I sit down on the edge of the dock, and drop my head into my hands.  “Maybe I should just use my ring, pop in there, and not try to deal with the dragonlings at all.”

“We could bypass the boat, if you wish,” Lucis says, nodding, “but I doubt we’d find suitable transport back.  We’d be stuck burning another charge.”

“You’re still thinking about going?” Sera asks.

“Of course.  That’s a high dragon out there,” I respond as though the answer were obvious.  Turning back to my brother, I tell him, “If we’re all traveling by using the rings anyway, we could just return to Skyhold after if that’s the case, skip the walk back.”

“No, no,” Sera says, shaking her head.  “You’re not taking me with your magic whatsit.”

“It doesn’t hurt, and we’ll be there immediately,” I tell her.

Alistair nods.  “It’s a good strategy.  Less chances of her babies swarming us before we can get to her.  But she’ll call them in, right?  How do we deal with all of them at once?”

“Crowd control.  We use the same method, only instead of targeting them one at a time, we’ll target the exits.  Freeze them, walls of ice to block the exits, paralyze them.  Haste to keep us out of harm’s way while I talk to her.”

“Alright, let’s do it.”

*             *             *

 

“You guys know the plan.  Lucis, you and I will immediately move to block the exits.  Sera, you and Alistair will intercept any dragonlings that get through, but  _ don’t kill them _ if you can help it.  That high dragon is already going to be angry enough.  Sera, I’ve seen those amazing flasks you use.  Now is the time.”  Sera grins, and I know I have engaged her attention.  “Alistair, use your shield to push them back and let Lucis build another barrier.”  He nods.

“Everyone ready?” I ask, and they nod.  I hold my hand out for Alistair’s, and Lucis does the same for Sera.  I twist my ring, and the world blurs.  When it settles, I’m in front of a dragon.   _ It’s a Vinsomer, alright.  So sleek and beautiful.   _ Her body is long and lean, with large curved horns.  Stripes of purple magic show underneath her skin.   _ Breathtaking.   _ She notices us immediately, and emits a high-pitched wailing screech.  

“She’s calling her babies, we have to block them!” I command as Lucis and Sera appear next to us.  Lucis and I set to work casting spells furiously.  I create massive walls of ice in an instant, and Lucis manages a thick set of brambles in each of the entryways.  There are a few dragonlings inside, but not many.   _ Good, so far.   _ “Lucis, glyphs, now.  Hold ‘em tight for me, I’m going in.”  I see Alistair brandishing his shield, and Sera has three flasks already out, one in each hand, and a third held in her mouth.

I pull down the lightning curtain faster than I ever have before, clothing myself in storm magic.  The dragon stares at me, fury in her eyes.

I call out in Draconic.  “We are not the ones who took your children!” I tell her.

“Lies!” she snarls back.  “I don’t know how you got in here, but you won’t disturb my nest any further!”  She begins beating her wings, creating a powerful suction, drawing me nearer.  I decide it’s better to allow it than to fight against it.   _ I need her to listen, but she’s set on hurting me right now.  I’ll try another tactic. _

“Could they talk to you like I am?  If you’d listen, you’d know I’m different!” I shout back.

The wings continue flapping until I’m right next to her.  She turns, her head only a few feet from me.  “I won’t fall for your tricks, tiny human!”  She swipes a claw at my head and I duck, just out of reach.  “You’ll watch your friends die first,” she says, and I realize her intention.  She sends a blast of lightning energy over my head, crashing into the ground near Lucis and Alistair, knocking them both to the ground.

“You bitch!” I scream.   _ “Never _ hurt my family…”  Backing away from her, I let the curtain drop, and sling my staff on my back.  My hands raise, reaching for sky again, summoning the lightning.  I grab the end of a bolt in each hand, holding it like a hilt.   _ Damn, it feels good.  How long since I’ve done this? _

I pull, creating two long whips made of lightning.  The crackling sound resonating from it causes her to stop, her attention once again on me.  I look her in the eye, the storm raging inside and command her again,  _ “I SAID STOP _ , you foolish dragon. You know not whom you face!  I am Ferox the Destroyer, the Stormbringer, goddess of the elements, and you will listen or I  _ will _ end you, along with all of your brood!”  I crack the whip and she hops backwards, snarling at me.  Another snap, another...and she backs further away, her timid motions showing her fear now.

Letting the whips settle to the ground, I stop my movement and allow my voice to soften.  “I’m trying to  _ help _ you.  Send your children away if you don’t believe me.  Don’t make me hurt them.”

Understanding dawns on her, and she raises her head.  She gives a few short roars, lower-pitched, but no less intimidating than the previous sounds, and the dragonlings disperse, scattering up over the hillsides and down the embankments on the far side of the clearing.

The dragon tilts her head downward, looking at me through her lowered eyes, showing she’s still afraid.  I allow the lightning magic to fade.  “I’m sorry I scared you, but you weren’t listening to reason, child of lightning.”

She tilts her head.  “You know of the others, the ones who took them while I was away hunting.  What happened to my children?”

I sigh.   _ This isn’t going to go over well.   _ “I’m sorry, they are gone.  But they have already been avenged.  The ones responsible are dead, some by our hand.”

“Good,” she says.  “I hope those humans died a painful death.  But why are you here?”

“Not all humans are the same.  We came seeking information on what the bad ones were doing here.  That’s how we discovered your younglings.  Our other friends could not get closer because you were so defensive of your island.”

“My clan is large now, and I would protect it.”

“A trait I admire, and share.  What is your name?”

“Nimbus,” she answers.

I smile.  “I like it.  Hello, Nimbus, I’m Ferox.  Is it alright if the others approach?” I ask.

She looks over, and says, “Yes.  You did not hurt my younglings, even though you could have.  It is as you say.”

Lucis walks over, having understood everything Nimbus has said so far.  “Greetings, I am Lucis, god of light and creation.”

Nimbus looks at me.  “That one is...family?” she asked, stumbling over the word.

He nods.  “Yes, I am.  But where are you drakes?  Should they not be protecting the nest as well?”

Her head sinks.  “There were three.  One angered me, and I slaughtered him.  The other two turned on each other, fighting over me.  Neither survived.”

I try to keep my expression neutral.  Drakes and dragons only pair to produce and raise offspring; they don’t usually have much of an emotional connection.  Killing one isn’t that uncommon for them.  It makes me wonder about Miracle and her suitor, however.   _ I should check on her when I get a chance. _  “That is most unfortunate, Nimbus.  I am sorry you lost all of your drakes.”

Her head moves in a nod.  “There will be more.  There always are.”

I finish the introductions.  “This is Alistair, and Sera.”

“If there is anything you want me to say, I’ll translate,” I tell my companions, but they shake their heads.

I turn back to Nimbus.  “There may be more of my people that visit in the future.  I will instruct them to post a flag with this symbol,” I tell her, pulling out a cloth flag with the flaming eye and sword of the Inquisition.  “You will know they are my people by this symbol, and know that they will not harm you, but you should pull your dragonlings back if they arrive; at least until they mature enough to leave on their own.”

“I will,” she responds.  “How  _ do _ you speak my language?” she questions.

Lucis answers, “We’ve known dragons our whole life, and that is a very long time indeed.  We have learned a lot from our dragon friends.”

“Friends,” she says, considering the word.  “Thank you for calming me, Ferox Stormbringer.  I will remember what you have said.”

Alistair has a million questions when Lucis and I return to them.

“How did you?  What did you say?  And that lightning thing?  Wow…” he rambles.

I laugh.  “Dragon Girl, remember?  Since we have to use the ring anyway, I’d like to get back to Skyhold and report right away.”

“Sure,” Sera states, eyeing me again.  “Ferox, remind me not to piss you off.”

“Come here, you,” I say, trying to get an arm around her neck, but she’s taller than me and I can’t quite reach.  But, it has the desired effect, and we’re both chuckling by the end of it.  “May I escort you home?” I ask, offering my hand to her.  

“Took you long enough,” she jokes, and we are off.


	57. Reporting In

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Reporting In

 

The world shifts and we’re standing just outside the Herald’s Rest, which results in us knocking over Scout Harding.  We all collapse in a messy pile.

“Your aim is shite, Ferox.  ‘Bout squashed Harding,” Sera groans, untangling herself from our mess of limbs and standing up.  “Well, home’s home, anyway.” She enters the Herald’s Rest without a glance backwards.

I offer my hand to Scout Harding.  “Sorry about that. I got in a bit of a hurry and didn’t specify exactly  _ where _  I wanted to be standing.”

“Uh huh,” she replies skeptically.  “So how’s that thing work, anyway?” she asks, eyeing the ring on my finger.

“Very powerful, very complicated magic.  Takes a group of mages who know what they’re doing to create one,” I answer, hoping that gets her off topic.

“But anyone can  _ use _  one, right?” she asks.

I pull it back, feeling a bit defensive.  “Don’t get any ideas, these things are hard to make.”

“Still, must be nice to travel wherever you want to in an instant.  Sure would make my job a lot easier,” she states, drawing out her words.

“We don’t have time to make you one, and no, you can’t borrow it.”

“Play nice, Sister,” Lucis says from behind me.  “You can say it more politely than that, at least.”

“Sorry, Harding.  I had a hard day on the Storm Coast,” I admit, cheeks flushing a bit at my outburst.

“Yes,” Alistair says, leaning in to whisper.  “She got so mean, she scared a dragon. I think she got stuck that way.”

“Alistair!” I protest, but then shrug, realizing he’s probably right.  I don’t need to intimidate anyone here.  _ Things might not have gone the way we planned, but still, mission accomplished. _   I smile instead.  “I don’t know about you, but I think I could stand a drink after that,” I comment.

“I thought you wanted to report in?” Lucis asks.  “Don’t you think you should do that  _ before _  you start drinking?”

I stick my tongue out at him.  “Spoilsport. Yeah, yeah, let’s go see Cullen and the other advisors.  I’m sure they’ll hear about us popping in soon enough, anyway.”

I wave goodbye to Harding.  “See you later,” I tell her.

She nods.  “I’ll let you buy me a drink later, to make up for landing on me.”

“Done,” I agree.

I know the way to Cullen’s office quite well by now, and lead the way.  Solas isn’t in his chamber, presumably still out with Etiam.  _ I hope they’re doing okay. I should check in on him later. _   I take the walkway from the keep over to the tower were Cullen works.

I open the door, and Cullen looks up from the documents in his hand.  “Ferox,” he says, a smile breaking on his face. “You’re back early; we weren’t expecting you for a week or so yet.”

“I trust all went well on the Storm Coast?” Leliana asked.

“It got a bit more complicated,” I admit.  “The red templars were capturing the dragonlings, experimenting on them with red lyrium like they did with the giants in Emprise du Lion.  Nimbus was furious as a result, so we had to use transportation magic to get to her directly, bypassing the boats.”

“Nimbus?  You learned her name, then.  I assume that means you accomplished your mission?” Cullen asks.

“As if there was any doubt.”

Alistair grumbles, “I had a few.”

Lucis gives him a look.  “We’ve all returned relatively unharmed.  I’d call that a success.”

I nod, agreeing with Lucis.  “Oh, because we used magic to come back here directly, I didn’t get a chance to check back with Charm.  Send her our regards, would you?”

“We will.” Josephine comments with a nod.  “I am glad you were successful.”

“Yes, Nimbus has agreed to call her dragonlings to the far side of the island if anyone with an Inquisition flag shows up on her shores.”

“Now that we know what the red templars were up to, I don’t know that it will be necessary to return,” Cullen comments.  “But thank you for your quick work. We will return to planning for Adamant. The trebuchets should be here in a couple of days.”

“Any word from the Inquisitor’s team?” Leliana asks.

I shake my head.  “I haven’t been able to get through.  I’ll try again tonight.”

Cullen made a note of something on a piece of parchment in front of him.  “Alright, you’re dismissed. Enjoy a little time off; I’ll let you know if we need you again.”

The three of us walk back the same pathway together, entering the main tower.

Lucis says, “I should get back to the infirmary before someone else loses a limb unnecessarily.”

“See you,” I tell him with a wave.  Alistair and I head up the stairs, and he seems surprised that we’re going the same direction.

“Where are you going?” he asks, pausing.

“I was planning to go see if Dorian was in the library,” I inform him.  “And you?”

“To visit Leliana.”  We both give a chuckle and walk up to the second story together.  I wave as he continues on, and I spot Dorian lounging in the chair as usual.

“Tevinter!” I call out, startling him from whatever he’s reading, and he quickly puts it down.  Not quick enough, however, and I catch the title:  _ Hard in Hightown. _   “Finally reading Varric’s book, huh?  No ancestry anthologies this time?”

“Ferox,” he says with a warm smile, standing up to greet me.  “I’d say  _ Tevinter _  fits us both, wouldn’t you?  But yes, I  _ do _  have other interests, you realize.”

“So I hear,” I say with a grin, leaving the implication hanging there.

Dorian’s lips twitch, threatening a smile, and his eyes flick nervously to the side.  “He told you?” A frown started.

“Well, in his defense, I was pretty nosy about it.  Don’t worry, I approve,” I say grinning. “Tenebris probably won’t want me getting into his business, but stars, Dorian, you’re practically family.”  I hug him, giving him an encouraging squeeze, and Dorian lets out an exhalation.

His arms wrap around me tentatively before stepping back.  “Family…” he mutters, as though testing out the word. “If only my own had been like you.  I guess in a way, you’ve always been the little sister I never wanted,” he comments, and we both chuckle.  “But thank you, Ferox. It means a lot to me that you support us.”

“Just be good to my brother.  Humans haven’t always been kind to him,” I say.

“So I gathered.  You know, I’m relieved to find you’re not quite like the artifacts depicted,” he jokes, but my expression remains neutral.

“Oh, we are, make no mistake.  You’re just on our good side.” I can’t help but snicker.  “Get your boots ready, Tevinter,” I tease with a wink.

He looks down at his boots, covered in multiple straps and buckles, and shrugs.  A smile, genuine this time, spread across his face. “Guess I’m just not much of a quaker.”

“We’ll see,” I respond enigmatically.

“What about you and Tethras?” he asks.  “You two seemed pretty cozy in Emprise du Lion.”

“We’re good,” I tell him, smiling.  “I miss him, of course, but he’ll be back soon.”

“Just so,” Dorian acknowledged.  “Though I suppose this assault Cullen is drawing up will provide a little excitement for all of us.”

I beam.  “I’m really looking forward to cutting loose.  Now that everyone knows about us, I don’t have to hold back on my magic anymore.”

“Maybe I’ll get to see you in action this time then, for a true demonstration.”

“Maybe,” I smile.  “I should get going, I promised to meet Harding at the Herald’s Rest in a bit, and I’d like to freshen up first.”

“See you later,” he says, and moves back to the chair.

I head to my room that I share with Varric, and I realize how much I miss him.  His scent clings to the interior of the room. I sit in the oversized chair and revel in it.   _ Varric _ .  The idea planted, I want to see him.  I pull the pendant over my head. I’d tried it several times over the last few days, but there has been no response.

I open it and connect the magic.  “Tenebris, please answer,” I call, hoping my brother has returned from underground.  They should have been out of there by now. I wait, and try again. “Tenebris, are you there?”

His image appears and my heart surges.  I’ve missed my brother’s long, wavy dark hair, so similar to my own, and his small beard.  “Ferox! Stars, is it good to see your face. Wait, are you back at Skyhold already?”

I sigh.  “Yeah, we ran into some minor complications with the Vinsomer, and had to use the rings to come back.  But you should have  _ seen _  her, she was beautiful!  Her name is Nimbus.”

Declan’s voice sounds from out of view.  “Ferox just contacted you and she’s already talking about dragons.”  His face pops up in the magical energy. I’m surprised to see his face sporting a cut above his eye.  It doesn’t detract from his handsomeness, however, and I take in his familiar genuine smile. His auburn hair has grown a bit longer, and it looks like he’s in need of a haircut.   “Hey Dragon Girl,” he greets me, grinning, “looks like you’re doing well?”

I nod.  “Yes, the four of us completed the mission and are back in Skyhold, although we had to fight this giant red lyrium crystal beast in that stronghold of theirs.  It was pretty nasty. How did things go in the Deep Roads?”

I hear Cassandra’s disgusted grunt, and know she is there with them.  That’s enough of a response to alert me.

“What did Bianca do?” I ask, immediately concerned.

The voice I had most hoped to hear sounds next.  “Firefly, you’re better off not knowing.”

“Declan, show me Varric, I want to see him.”

There’s movement on the other end and then I’m looking at my love.  His face shows a few bruises and scrapes. I hate seeing him hurt. “You’re injured, why didn’t Tenebris heal you?” I ask.

There’s a pause.  “I did,” my brother answers.  “Well, a little, anyway.”

“This is what you look like  _ after _  healing?”

Varric grunted.  “We’re good, just a little beat-up.  We ran into darkspawn, and the Carta had taken up residence - the whole thing was a shitstorm.”

“What did that bitch do, Varric?  Don’t make me use my last two charges hunting her ass down.”

Blackwall snorts in the background, and I’m grateful for his backup.

_ “She _  was the leak.  Said she did it to help Bartrand and me.”

“Not even close to a good enough excuse.  She put you in danger and got you hurt, all for her own  _ selfish _  agenda.  She’d better be dead and in a million little dwarf pieces,” I tell him, anger rising in my voice.

“Firefly…”

“Don’t Firefly me. I told her to keep you safe.  This,” I say, gesturing toward his bruised face, “is the opposite.  I’m gonna freeze her and-”

“Let it go, Ferox, it’s alright.  That’s just Bianca for you,” Varric says, and sighs.  “I’m kind of use to her shit by now.”

I glare at him, but realize it won’t do any good.  Bianca is his friend, for better or for worse, and I didn’t want to spend what time we have angry at each other.  Bianca is the one to blame, not my favorite dwarf. “Alright, Love.”

“Seriously?” Tenebris exclaims, causing Varric to look up over the field of energy.  My brother continues, “Your vengeance is legendary. You’re just going to let her get away with it?”

“I just don’t want my anger to be targeted at the wrong person.  Varric’s not the one I’m cross with.”

Varric looks back at me, smiling a half-smile and it ignites something within me.   _ I love him so much.  I’m glad he’s alright.  That bitch Bianca, however, had better know what’s good for her and not show her face in front of me ever again. _

“Oh, I do need to talk to Tenebris for a moment, though.  If you don’t mind?”

Varric nods.  “It’s just good to see you again.”

“I know, I can’t wait to be back together.”

“Aww,” Declan says from off to the side, and I laugh.  

The motion blurs again, and I see my brother.  “Tenebris, can you step away from the others for a minute?  I want to talk about something private.”

He nods.  “Inquisitor?” he asks, looking over the top of the pendant, and then returns his gaze to me.  “Give me a moment.” I can tell Tenebris is walking from the motion of the green forested background of the Hinterlands, and after a moment, I can no longer hear the voices of the others.

“What is it, Sister?”

“I just talked to Dorian,” I tell him, smiling.

“Please tell me you’re not pestering the man, Ferox.”

“I wasn’t.  But...he looks happy.”  Tenebris’s embarrassed smile lets me know it was worth it.

“So how much longer until you’re back?” I ask.

“Less than a week, but it depends on the weather.  It’s been rainy here, and the roads are all rutted and muddy.  It’s made travel rather slow.”

“Okay.  Ask Declan if he has any news he wants me to pass on to the advisors.”

He nods, returns to the Inquisitor, asking him my question.  Declan looks into the magic fields again. “Just let them know that we’re alright,” Declan asserts.  “We believe we’ve stopped at least one source of the lyrium, but the stuff is growing everywhere so I don’t know how much we really accomplished.”

“Right,” I tell him.  “Cullen says the trebuchets should be here very soon, before you get back.  Looks like you won’t have much rest before we head to Adamant.”

He sighs.  “I’m getting used to sleeping on the road.  But the sooner we stop the Wardens’ plot, the sooner we take away Corypheus’s advantage.”

“For what it’s worth, I think we both accomplished plenty this time, Declan.  Our team found out that the red templars had been experimenting on newborn dragonlings with the red lyrium.”

“You’re kidding,” he comments, shaking his head, and I hear Tenebris voice his disgust, although I can no longer see him.

I press my lips into a line, thinking about the cages holding lyrium-infected draonlings.  “My theory is that they were probably trying to create another version of Corypheus’s dragon.  Thankfully, they’re gone from that place as best we can tell, and Nimbus and her babies are getting better at defending themselves by the day so they shouldn’t be able to get any of the young ones again, at least.”

“Good.”  He takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders.  “Every little bit is a step in the right direction.  Thanks for reminding me. It gets easy to get lost in disappointment, but we  _ are _  making progress.  I’ll see you soon, Ferox.”

I nod, then shyly add, “I want to see Varric again, one last time.”

Declan smiles, and hands over the pendant.  I take a moment and just look at Varric. “Come home safe to me, Varric, okay?”

“Yeah.  I’m happy knowing you’re alright, too.  See you when I get home, Firefly.”

I mouth the words  _ I love you  _ to him and see him smile before the energy distorts again.

Tenebris appears.  “What about Lucis? He did alright?”

“He did great, Brother.”

“Good to hear.  Goodbye, Sister.”


	58. The Calm Before

Chapter Fifty-Eight: The Calm Before

 

Preparations are underway for the siege on Adamant Fortress, and everyone is moving around Skyhold like bees in a busy hive.  I change into a simple dress and go to the tavern to meet Harding, and I enter to cheers of my name. Bull is there, with Krem and all of the Chargers this time.  I’m happy to see them all together. Harding and Sara are sitting near them, but there’s one face I had missed, probably more than the others.

“Garrett,” I greet him, and he stands, opening his arms in a welcome.

“Hey Ferox, I’m glad you’re back,” he says.  I willingly go to him, accept his embrace.

“Me too,” I comment.

“We’re drinking, right?” Bull asks, raising the mug already in his hand.

“Not the stuff you’re having,” I answer with a chuckle.  “But yes, I owe quite a few of you a drink.” I wave over the serving girl, and order a round of ales and a dinner for myself.  She comes back, plunking down several steins of the frothy brew. I stare down into the slowly disintegrating bubbles, relieved to have a moment of rest.

“Ferox, you alright?” Hawke asks.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I tell him.  “Just happy to be home.”

“Too right,” Sera comments.  She raises her mug. “To home!”  Another chorus of cheers, and a few laughs.  Our group, large as it is, takes up a few tables in the back section of the tavern, so it’s a bit noisy with all of us. While I’m enjoying the company, it leaves me feeling a bit on edge.

After a few drinks I decide to take a walk.  Garrett follows me, and once we’re outside I tilt my head to look at him.

He shrugs.  “I could use a bit of air, too.”  

We walk along the ramparts for a while, ending up in the section they’re repurposing into a new tower for the mages.  Seeing the rickety stairs leading upwards, I get an idea.

“Let’s go up to the roof,” I suggest.

“Sure, why not?” he replies.

We ascend the stairs, careful to test each of them before committing our full weight on them, and finally climb the ladder.  It’s a bit more difficult than I thought it would be in my long skirt, and I decide to wear armor tomorrow, even though I probably won’t be leaving Skyhold.

The view from the rooftop is exquisite.  From this vantage, one of the highest in all Skyhold, I can see just about all of the fortress, as well as the mountain path below.  The air is chilly, but I don’t feel cold yet. I take a deep, cleansing breath, and take a seat on one of the stone benches.

Garrett settles in next to me, and I feel his warm hand settle on top of mine.  My eyes flick upward to meet his.

“Ferox, you’ve been serious all day.  You love drinking with Sera and Bull, but today you were distant.  Did something happen?”

“That twice-damned Bianca got Varric hurt,” I admit.

“You talked to him?” he asks.

“Just a bit ago.  It was nice to see him, even all bruised up, but he asked me to let it go.   _ I said yes _ , which it’s really unlike me.  My brother even called me out on it.  I’m a goddess of vengeance and destruction, known for destroying whole towns when I become angry.  But for him, I said yes. It just feels...strange.”

His head cocks to the side.  “Strange how?”

“Different.  I don’t know.  If I had to put a word to it, I guess I’d say I’m worried.”

“About Varric?” he questions.

“Yes - and about everything.  Especially Adamant. What if this is it, Garrett?  People are going to die out there,  _ our  _ people, and what if this is the thing that…”

A gentle smile grows on Garrett’s face.  “You have to believe in Varric,” he tells me.  “I’ve known him a long time, and he’s tougher than he looks.  Besides, he’s got a lot to live for, now that he’s got you.” Hawke’s hand pats my head in a soothing motion.  “This might be a little weird to say to a god, but you have to have a little faith and believe that things will turn out right in the end.”

Twin tears roll down my cheeks, and throw my arms around Hawke.  He gently pats my back and lets me cry.

“I’m sorry, Garrett.  I didn’t mean to fall to pieces like this.”  I wipe my face. “I just can’t bear the thought of losing him.  Not yet. Especially not over a bunch of stupid Wardens.”

“Ah, there’s the old Ferox.  We’ll fight, and we’ll win. We have to.”

Despite my sadness I want to smile.  “Thanks, Hawke. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here.  Varric and I are both lucky to have a friend like you. I mean it.”

“I feel pretty lucky too,” he says, laying an arm across my shoulders and giving me a small squeeze.

After a few more minutes, watching the sun dip toward the horizon together, I stand up.  “I needed this. Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he says, and points his hands in a gesture, indicating I should go first.  With my frustrating skirts, climbing back down the ladder isn’t easy, but I manage. We walk back out the door and reach a separation in the path where stairs lead down to ground level.

“Are you going back to the bar?” he asks.

I shake my head.  “No, I think I might go to the garden for a bit.  Now that I’m staying in Varric’s room, I don’t get to see it as often.”

“Want me to walk you?”   


“No, I think I’m alright.  See you tomorrow?”   


“Of course.  Night, Dragon Girl.”

Hawke heads off down the upper walkway toward where I know his own quarters lie.  I lift my skirts a smidge and descend the narrow staircase down to the grassy area below.  The talk with Hawke did help; I feel a bit more relaxed now. My steps slow down and I take in the stone walls around me, seeing them in the near dark as though for the first time.   _ Soon.  Hawke’s right, we’ll defeat Corypheus’s forces, and we’ll return home victorious.  I can’t let myself doubt. _

Entering the keep, I follow the turn that takes me to the garden.  There are a few people out still, even at this time of day. I see the door to the shrine cracked open, and decide to go in.  

The warm glow from the candles lights the room, occupied by only one person.

“Evening, Brother,” I greet Lucis.  He’s staring up at the monument to his love.  He doesn’t acknowledge me, but I know he heard me.

“Look at her, Ferox,” he says after a minute.  “They betrayed her, vilified her,  _ burned her at the stake _ , and then want to pretend that she was some holy martyr who died  _ for them. _ ”

I walk to him and wrap an arm around his waist.  “I’m here, Lucis.”

“And thank the stars for that,” he says, patting my arm.  “I just miss her.”

“I understand.”

“Ferox, I don’t want you to go to Adamant,” he tells me, turning to look down at me.  “We should let the mortals sort this out for themselves.”

“No, Lucis, I won’t abandon them.  Corypheus is a threat to all of us, or do you forget what it was like when the magisters attacked the Golden City?”

“I haven’t forgotten.  We trusted them, and they used our own teachings against us.  And for what? Greed? Because they wanted what we have?”

“Then you understand why Corypheus can’t be allowed to continue to amass power.  He’ll try again; he said as much to Declan,” I mention. “He wants to go back into the Fade in the flesh so that he can get to us.”

“He’ll never enter the Black City, Sister, don’t worry.”

“No, he won’t.  Because we’re going to help them kill him,” I declare, clenching my fist.  “We should have seen to it that he was truly dead before.”

“Always so bloodthirsty,” Lucis says, smiling.

“It’s different though, now.  I have something to protect.  No magister who got too big for his robes is going to take that from me.”

“Have you asked him?”

“What?”

“Have you asked your dwarf to be like us?”

I sigh, and nod.  “He said no.”

“Then he has more sense than we ever did.”

I look up at the carving of Andraste, think about my brother’s words.  “I want to see you happy again.”

His blue gaze turns toward me, and he shakes his head.  “I am your future, Ferox. I wanted better for you than that, but it’s inevitable.”

I frown, my earlier relief after talking to Hawke gone, the clenching sensation back in my chest, stealing my breath.   _ No, Varric is okay.  I need to believe. _

“Your future isn’t over, Brother.  I know nothing will ever be the same, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make a different sort of life for yourself.  You did amazing on our mission with Nimbus. Maybe you could find some other purpose, something to bring you joy.”

A sigh.  “I...will consider your words, Sister.”

I nod.  “Don’t stay here too long, okay?”  I hug him, and back out of the chamber.  I put my hand on the door and open it.

“Ferox, wait,” Lucis calls.  “Will you stay with me in my room again tonight?  Your dwarf isn’t back yet.”

I nod.  “I’ll get my things.”

*             *             *

The days settle back into a routine.  I spend most of my days helping to prepare the mages for the coming battle as best I can.  Some of them are still leery of me, having heard the news about who I am, but I don’t let that deter me and I try to show them quick spells for close combat.  With the layout of the fortress, once inside they’re likely to be in close quarters with the Wardens.

I see the others in passing, but there’s no time for leisurely chess with Cullen now.  He’s busy running his men through drills and checking the supplies. As soon as Declan gets back, we’ll be leaving.

Finally, the Inquisitor’s caravan is spotted and the nervous feeling in my chest finally starts to unwind.  Declan and the others stop inside the courtyard, and Varric is striding toward me, grinning...and  _ filthy _ .

“Ugh, you’re all dirty!” I complain as he hugs me.

“Don’t care, Firefly, I waited too long for this,” and suddenly, he’s forgiven, and I return the tight embrace.

Leaning in, I whisper, “Now we both need a bath.”

“You’ve discovered my secret plot.”  He pulls back, his eyes shining, and I’ve never seen anything more wonderful in my life than my mud-covered dwarf.

“Go ahead and take a couple of hours to wash up, you two,” Declan said with a knowing smile.  “I could use a short rest myself. We’ll meet back up in the War Room later to figure out strategy.”

*             *             *

The bath ends up being a rather messy affair and we end up abandoning it, ruining Varric’s rug instead.  But I’ll never forget the impassioned look on his face, his wet hair dripping down onto me as our bodies, slick from the bath, move against each other.  He collapses on top of me, exhausted from his recent endeavors, as well as weeks on the road.

I hold him close, savoring this moment and stroking his wet hair as his breathing slows.  “Firefly, that...you…” he says.

I chuckle.  “I missed you too.  We should clean up for real, though.  Declan didn’t give us very long.”

“You go first, I need a minute,” he says, rolling over next to me.  I make it to my feet, giggling a little at my unsteady gait, and wash up. I  dry myself with a plush towel before moving to the wardrobe and pulling out something else to wear.  I settle on a long embroidered sleeveless tunic in a deep shade of blue, with pale blue pants in my usual style to match, and a short quilted white jacket in that fits over the top portion.

I’m tugging on my boots when I look over.  Varric hasn’t moved. I walk over. “Are you alright, Love?  Do you need me to heal you?”

“It’s not that,” he says, his hand holding my arm, causing me to pause in my examination of him.

“What is it?”

He sighs.  “When we leave here, we’re going back to it, to the road, and the fighting.  I just want to enjoy a few moments of peace with just the two of us.”

I kiss the top of his head.  “Get dressed, and I’ll help dry your hair.  We can stay for a bit, but I don’t want to get my clothes all wet.”

He nods, and moves to clean up.  He’s dressed in no time, and I use a little warming magic to help his hair dry faster, running my fingers through his hair, trailing them over his scalp.  “I forgot how good that feels,” he says, closing his eyes.

I look down at the golden locks, so precious to me now.  “It will be nice when all this conflict is over, and you and I are free to start our lives together.  I think I’ve decided what I want to do after.”

He says nothing, our eyes meeting ahead in the mirror, and he raises his eyebrows in question.  

“Declan made the world different when he recruited the mages as allies.  The future of the Circles is uncertain. I think I’d like to set up an alternative.  A university at which to study magic. I would build it near you, in Kirkwall, or wherever that ends up being, of course.”

He smiles.  “That’s not a bad idea, but what if the Chantry reinstates the Circles?”

“I teach them the error of their ways?” I grin, and we both chuckle, but then I think about it seriously.  “Hm, maybe it could be a center for higher learning, for mages who have already passed their Harrowing, or for academic non-mages like Dagna, or even those who are already Tranquil.”

“Yeah, they don’t seem to have a lot of options.”  He stands up, and moves toward the bed. He settles into a sitting position with his back against the wall, legs apart, and motions for me to sit between them.  “Come here,” he says softly.

Crawling toward him, I plant a gentle kiss on his lips before reclining, my back resting against his chest.  He drapes his arms over my shoulders, and I wish we could stay like this for much longer than the few minutes we have left.

“Ferox, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” he says, dragging his fingers along my arm.

“Mm?”

“Being away from you again, it got me thinking.  I realized I don’t  _ want _ to be away from you.  I can’t imagine my life without you anymore.”

I squeeze his hand briefly before letting go.  “What are you saying?”

“It’ll have to be after we beat Corypheus of course, but what do you think about getting married?”

I turn, twisting my body so I can look up at him.  I can feel tears building already. I can’t say anything, so I just nod, and he presses his smiling lips to mine in one perfect moment of happiness.

“I have something for you,” he says, and I move to let him get up.  He walks to the far side of the room, digs in his bags, and comes back with a small box.  “I picked up it on the way back home. Something about it reminded me of you.”

He opens the box, and inside is a ring.  It’s silver, with a single stone: an opal that shines inside with the light of a thousand different colors.  The band isn’t too thin, nor too wide, elegant, but not too ornate. It’s perfect, and so  _ Varric _ .  

“I love it,” I tell him.

He holds my hand.  “Is that a yes then?”

“Always,” I whisper, smiling through the tears of joy.

“Then the story of us gains a new chapter,” he comments.  The ring slips onto my finger, and it fits perfectly. I stand and slowly move my arms around Varric’s neck.  We share the lightest of kisses, a whisper of a promise of many more to come.

“My Firefly,” he says, stepping backward, but linking his hand with mine.   _ “Now _ we can go.”

The War Room is too full to hold everyone who reported for the meeting, so Declan cleared the main hall of the keep instead.  He paces in front of the large, ornate throne, wrenching his hands. I spot Etiam and Solas in the crowd as well. They must have returned from their trip while we were upstairs.

Once everyone has assembled Declan looks out at each of us.  “Alright, so the time has come. I’ll be approaching each of you along the way with your specific instructions, but we won’t be back for a long time, so pack for a long journey.  I know we will be triumphant, but I encourage each of you to spend time tonight in the way that you believe will best help prepare you - spend time with your loved ones, friends, or in prayer.  For tomorrow, we march!”

A cheer rises up from the people in support of the Inquisitor’s statement, and we disperse into our various groups.  I go with Varric, Sera, Hawke, and Bull back to the tavern to have a drink. Along the way, I see Tenebris and Dorian walking next to each other, talking.   _ Good luck, Brother. _

“Ferox,” a voice calls out, and I’m surprised to see Lucis walking toward us.  “Can I have a moment?”

I look at Varric, but Lucis speaks again before I can get his reaction.  “No, I actually want to speak with both of you.”

“Hawke, get us a couple of ales, and I’ll catch the next round,” Varric says, and the others head off toward the Herald’s Rest, while Varric and I accompany my brother.

We find an empty stairwell and stop.  This is as private as we’re going to get without going to one of our chambers.  I look at my brother, who looks nervous.

“Ferox, I’m going to try this one last time,” he says.  “Don’t go to Adamant.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Is there some reason she shouldn’t go?” Varric wondered.

“This isn’t our fight,” Lucis explains.  “We should go home, let them deal with it.”

“Horseshit,” Varric said, and I’m startled at his tone.  “Ferox is as much one of us as anybody else.”

“Spoken like someone who still doesn’t understand what she is.”

“Listen-” Varric starts, but I put a hand up, shaking my head.  

“Varric, I love that you’re trying to stand up for me, but I’m going to have to call in that favor you owe me.  Let me handle this.”

His frustration is evident from his heavy exhalation.  “Alright, Firefly. You were patient with my bullshit, I guess I can do the same for you.”  His eyes, however, tell a different story.

“Lucis, look at me,” I say, pulling my brother’s attention toward me.  “I’m staying. I’ll help with the generals, but my life is here now. This is what I want.”

My twin is angry, and I feel his discomfort, but he nods.  “Very well, Sister. But Etiam and I will not be staying. I came to try to convince you, but I guess I’ll have to settle for a goodbye.”

“You’re leaving?  But we’re departing for Adamant in the morning!”

“It’s better this way,” he says, breaking eye contact, and turning to Varric.  “Dwarf, know this: I’m entrusting you with the most precious thing in the world to me.  Do not make me regret this.”

Varric’s brow furrows and I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but he too nods.  “I understand.”

Lucis walks back toward the main keep, and presumably, Etiam.  I look at Varric. “Sorry about that,” I tell him. 

He squeezes my hand.  “I liked our chances better with four gods, but we still have two, and the Inquisitor.  Let’s hope it’s enough.”

_ Three, if we count Solas _ , I think, but don’t say anything.  A terrible worry crosses my mind.

“Hey Varric, I need to stop by the shine off the garden for a bit, you can go on without me.”

“Going Andrastian on me after all, Firefly?”

“No, I just want to check something.”

I change course, heading for the garden, and veer off down the side passage that leads to the small chamber.  I go to open the door, but only opens a fraction before bumping into something that has wedged it shut, and I can see flames burning inside the room..

_ Damn it, Lucis.   _ Looking at the fire, I realize it will burn through to the floor above. _  I have no choice.  _ I raise my hands and absorb the flames, pulling them into myself.  I feel Toth give a stir at the unaccustomed level of fire magic, but I keep going, extinguishing the blaze a bit at a time, and she settles down again quickly when the flames finally die out, the last of the red-hot glow disappearing into my hand.  I push against the door, allowing the power I’d just taken from the fire to help me, and I manage to get it open wide enough to peek inside. Thankfully, no one had gotten trapped in here, but the rest of the scene makes me ill.

The room is charred, blackened streaks running up the stone walls, the once bright candles reduced to nothing but quickly solidifying puddles of wax.  Where the statue of Andraste stood there is nothing, the stone likeness shattered on the ground below.

“Lucis, no.”   _ I need to tell Tenebris. _

I close the door, feeling the debris shift again behind it.   _ It’s probably better that no one sees that, anyway.   _ I saw Tenebris talking with Dorian earlier, they looked like they were headed away from the keep, but where did they go?   _ I’ll check the bar first, let Varric know. _  I hurry to the Herald’s Rest.  A few people call out my name, but I have no time for pleasantries.  I scan the crowd, looking for my brother’s tall frame, but I don’t see him.  I do, however, see Bull waving me over.  _ Maybe they’ve seen him. _

I duck my way through the thick crowd and get to the table.  Varric’s smile of greeting falters when he sees my expression.  

“What is it, Firefly?” he asks, hopping down from the stool to stand next to me.

“I need to find Tenebris immediately.  Did he and Dorian come in here?”

“I  _ did _ see Sparkler a few minutes ago…” he says, trailing off, trying to remember.

Hawke fills in the answer I’m looking for.  “They went upstairs, but you might not want to go up there.”

“This is important Garrett, he’ll have to forgive me.”

“I’ll go with you,” he says.

“Thanks, but no.  This is family business.  I’ll tell you about it later.”  I force myself to push aside Varric’s concern.  I need to find my brother.

I make my way upstairs, ignoring the crowd and focusing on taking the steps carefully, but quickly.  I reach the third floor finally, but it’s deserted. No wait, no, it’s not. Cole is here.

“Cole, have you seen Tenebris or Dorian?” I ask.

“Secret fires, kept hidden, now kindled.  They burn brighter, blinding.”

“It’s not nice to spy on them,” I tell him, trying hard not to smile at the comment.  

“They came here, I was already here.”

“Where did they go?”

He points to the door that leads outside, and I give him a nod.  I find my brother, leaning in close to Dorian, one hand on his face, the other on the stone wall of the ramparts.

“Brother,” I say, and he looks up, at first angry, but then catches my expression, and immediately straightens.  “I’m really sorry to interrupt you two, but it’s Lucis, he’s done something.”

Concern is replaced with caution, and he and Dorian both walk over to me.  “What’s happened?” Tenebris asks.

“He came to me, told me again that he didn’t want me to go to Adamant, and that he and Etiam were leaving.”

“Indeed,” Dorian says, “we received the same lecture.”

Tenebris states, “I assume you gave him the same answer I did.”

I nod.  “But then I remembered how he was looking at the statue down in the shrine, the one of Andraste.  I went there and...Tenebris, it was on fire. I got it out before it spread to the second story, thankfully, but-”

“You did fire magic?” he questions.  “Well, I take it from the lack of an Archdemon in front of me that you’re alright.”

“I’m fine, Toth barely noticed.  But this isn’t good. What if you were right, Tenebris?  What if he…?”

“We can’t sort that out right now.  Stopping the Wardens at Adamant has to be our concern.  We’ll go talk with Etiam and Lucis after.”

I think it over, and realize he’s right.   _ What was I going to do?  Just leave Varric and the others to fight a horde of demons alone to chase after my brother?  That’s probably what Lucis wanted, anyway, to get me away from the fighting. _

“You’re right, Tenebris.  I just have a bad feeling about this.”

“Me too,” he admits.  “But go enjoy the time you have tonight with your friends.”

“I’ll try.  You too...um, but maybe somewhere a little more private,” I add, chuckling.

“It  _ was _ private,” he protests, but walks the other direction anyway, Dorian at his side.

Slipping back downstairs, my mood has stabilized, but I’m no less worried.  Tenebris is right, I can’t change it right now, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it.   _ Is Lucis working with Corypheus?  He wouldn’t do that, right? Even the other day, he talked of the magister’s betrayal, and how Corypheus would never set foot in the Black City. _  But my uncertainty remains.

Varric and Hawke stand again when I return.

“Everything alright?” Hawke asks.

“I’m not sure, to be honest.  But, it’s nothing I can do anything about at the moment.  I think I could use that drink now.”

Garrett smiles and pushes the mug toward me.


	59. Adamant Fortress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The siege begins...

Chapter 59: Adamant Fortress

 

 

Adamant Fortress perches at the edge of the abyss, the last defense against the darkness of the pit.   _ What a fitting metaphor for what we’re about to experience, _ I think as I study it.  The great chasm below its walls once teemed with darkspawn during the Second Blight _. _  Though the Archdemon did not fall here, this was the site of many battles, and the deaths of many Grey Wardens.  Today will see more of their kind dead.

“You’re thinking about Zazikel, aren’t you?” Tenebris asks, looking out at the fortress. It’s  barely visible from where our scouting team is positioned.

Zazikel had been the dragon of freedom, and later, chaos.  She’d been one of Tenebris’s before Fen’Harel raised the Veil.  I look at my brother and offer him a comforting smile. “A little.  But more just ready to stop a bunch of idiots from ending the world,” I answer.

“Try not to kill them all, Sister.”

“I’ll save them if I can; but if they stand against us, I promise you, they  _ will _ fall.”

“Hopefully they’ll listen to reason,” Alistair comments from next to me, adjusting a strap on his armor.

“Thanks again for doing this, Alistair,” I tell him.  “Toth is calm at the moment, so I think it will be alright, but I do feel better knowing you’ll be with me.”

“Two Wardens, two gods,” Blackwall says, stepping up to stand next to my brother, Alistair and I.  “The vanguard of the Inquisition’s forces. We need to make this count.”

“Yeah,” I reply with a sigh.  “I wish Etiam and Lucis had stayed, but I’m not going to let that stop me from doing what needs to be done.”

“Then you’re ready?” Cullen asks from nearby. 

I nod, remembering the plan quite clearly.  Cullen will go with Declan to the main gate and begin the assault.  While the forces are distracted, my brother and I will take Alistair and Blackwall up to the ramparts and give the Wardens a chance to surrender.

“Then commence with the first part of the plan,” he instructs.

I close my eyes and give in to the negative emotions that I’ve been holding a bay, my anger and worry for my friends, sadness at the thought of losing any of them.  I allow them to rise, and the storm clouds roll in quickly in response. The winds bring the sting of sand, but this is gentler than it had been my last night in the Hissing Wastes.  Thunder rumbles in the distance and I can feel the vibrations under my feet. I pull some of the sand to me, forming a layer of rock armor.

My eyes open.  “It’s time. Let’s go.”

We make the first part of the march together, my eyes unconsciously seeking Varric.  He’s not far from me, Bianca already in his hands. Glancing over, he catches me watching and makes his way toward me.  

“You okay so far, Firefly?” he asks, and I want to hug him for asking.

“I’m going to be fine. I’m a goddess.  I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve that I can unleash now that I’m not trying to hide what I am.   _ You’re _ the one I’m worried about.  I swear, Varric, if you die, I’ll never forgive you,” I warn him.

“The thief and his goddess were caught in the tumultuous tides of war, the surge threatening to sweep both of them off their feet and drag them into the depths for eternity.  But the rogue knew if he could only keep moving, he would reach her. For the storm was her element, and when the tempest ended, she would be waiting for him, a beacon of hope to his weary heart.”

“I haven’t heard much of our story lately. I missed it.  But you’re right. We’re both going to be okay. I won’t let it be otherwise.”

“That’s the spirit.”

We reach the main gate, and Cullen orders the sappers to begin hurling their massive flaming boulders toward the walls.   _ When the sappers stop the first round, then we go. _  One boulder strikes a tower, sending Wardens toppling to their death and lighting the surrounding structures on fire.  A cheer goes up from our soldiers.

Arrows rain down on the Inquisition’s forces, the volley speeding toward them like a swarm, the song whistling in the wind.  Tenebris moves his hands, casting, and I do the same. His misdirection spell hits at the same time as my fire barrier, causing the hurtling projectiles to veer off course, the wood to burn to ash, and the metal arrowheads to slow their momentum before falling harmlessly to the ground  The crew on the battering ram moves forward again, men holding shields up to avoid the arrows and heavy rocks falling from the walkways above.

“Our turn, Sister,” Tenebris announces, and latches an arm on Blackwall’s shoulder.  They disappear in front of me.

I look at Alistair.  “Hold on,” I tell him.  He lays a hand on my arm, and with a twist of my travel ring, we’re in the thick of it.  Once on the high battlements, I’m grateful for Alistair’s shield. It’s effective at pushing back the men back who rush to attack us.  I watch as one is thrown off the ramparts, falling awkwardly with an audible snap of his neck.  _ Another death.  There will be more.  All the better for Tenebris’s magic. _  There is something about the way they move, a jerkiness.  I realize these men must already be under the Tevinter magister, Lord Erimond’s control.

I start my spell.  “I call upon the ice and snow, to shield my friends and strike my foe,” I mutter, the magic flowing from me in chilly waves.  Instantly, courtyard below us grows silent, all of the Wardens in the first section frozen solid. I see some are already starting to lose the battle of consciousness.  The weaker amongst them will soon be dead.

Alistair and Blackwall both look around and relax their posture, realizing the situation.

“Can they still hear us?” Blackwall asks.

“Yes, now’s your chance.  I can’t keep the spell going too long or they’ll die, so hurry.”  The dull thud of the battering ram hitting the gate punctuates my statement, and I know it won’t be long until the structure splinters, allowing the bulk of our troops into the fortress itself.  We just have to hold them here a while longer. We all descend to the lower level.

“We need not be enemies,” Alistair started.  “Chernoff, I know you. We are not here to kill Wardens, only to stop Clarel.”

“You are all good men and do not need to die here today,” Blackwall adds, pacing in front of them.  Surely you must see that this is madness.”

Another boom sounds from the door, followed by a loud crack.   _ Cullen’s team will be through any second now. _

I take a deep breath and project my voice as I speak.  “My spell will dissipate soon. You have seen a small taste of what we can do and now you all have a choice.  Fight us, in which case I will not hold back, or stand down and let us deal with Clarel and the magister.”

I allow the spell to end, and many of the Wardens fall to their knees.  “We want no part of this,” I hear the one Alistair had called “Chernoff” say.

Some do not, however, picking their arms back up and resuming their aggression.  One fires an arrow in my direction. It ricochets off my rock armor, and I glare at the offender.  “Tenebris!” I shout, and I see him cast again.

The remaining Wardens in this first bailey sway on their feet under the power of Tenebris’s weakness spell.  I hear my brother laugh, and understand he has siphoned off their own life force for himself. I often wonder what that feels like.  Probably like the giddy feeling when I embrace the fire.

The reinforced wood of the gate finally gives in, and Cullen’s men flood into the courtyard, taking care of any of the remaining combatants.  Declan steps through the destroyed gate, accompanied by Varric and some of the others.

“Inquisitor, you have your way in,” Cullen announces.  “Hawke is up on the battlements, further in, but we’ll need to clear it out.  You should take a team and head in his direction.”

Declan nods, choosing Cole, Cassandra and Solas to accompany him and runs to one of the side corridors.  I’m just happy to see the familiar red jacket of my beloved in one piece. Dorian and Bull are with him.

Cullen looks at us.  “The rest of us need to cover the Inquisitor’s advance.  Ferox, you and Tenebris move ahead into the next area, take Alistair and Blackwall, same tactics as before.”

“Actually,” I comment, looking at Tenebris.  “Those Wardens were controlled using blood magic.  Do you think you could help any of them?”

“It’s possible, but I’ll need them subdued first,” my brother responds.  “Let me bring some help,” he adds with a grin. He turns back to the courtyard, mumbling something under his breath.  He raises his hands, and our soldiers jump back and cry out, as the dead rise from the ground. 

“Don’t worry, they’re with us,” I reassure them.

Dorian smiles.  “And as their numbers dwindle, ours will only grow.”

Varric sighs.  “You know that shit is creepy, right?”  He places a gloved hand to his temple. “Just keep them away from Bianca.”  He cradles the crossbow protectively.

“You know, after your little Deep Roads adventure, I’m liking the name less and less,” I comment.  “Let’s go, I want first swing at that magister.”

We walk through the opening amidst the sounds of fighting, our soldiers climbing ladders on the ramparts, both theirs and ours falling from the heights.   _ I’m up. _  I cast the ice spell again, selecting only the Wardens.  But what I don’t realize is that there are demons amongst them.  I hadn’t been able to see that far from the entrance.

“Shit,” I mutter, running forward, staff at the ready.  “We’ve got demons.” Moving closer, dodging around the frozen statues, I sustained the spell and cast another.  “Bringer of the storm and rain, link together an unending chain.”

I feel the surge as the expanded form of chain lightning bursts from my staff, arcing toward the demons but avoiding the others.  I don’t need the Wardens dead - not yet, anyway. I leave the Wardens for Alistair and Blackwall to handle, giving the similar talk that we had in the outer courtyard.  It doesn’t hurt that they’re surrounded by a number of the dead already, fighting for our cause under my brother’s control. I focus on the demons. This version of the spell causes the same chain reaction as the normal spell, but the electricity doesn’t disappear after it strikes: it stays, coiling around the target like a giant constricting snake, grappling and squeezing its prey.

The demons howl.  Thankfully there are only a few - two rage demons and a shade - and I’m able to keep them bound long enough for Dorian and Varric to help me finish them off.  I release the lightning spell and look at Alistair. “Are we good to drop the cold spell?” I ask.

He nods, and I let go of the cold.  The area starts to feel warmer as the hot air of the desert rushes in, steam rising from the bodies of the Wardens.  As before, many stand down, having heard the words from Alistair and Blackwall. We have to fight a few, of course, but I freeze them again and we bind them quickly.

Tenebris examines one Warden, now thawed, staring at my brother with an emotionless expression.  I can see the suggestion has already taken hold of his mind. 

“Can you help him?” I ask, stepping closer.

“It’s a powerful spell.  I’m fairly certain that magister has been studying with Corypheus.  We might be better off spending our time finding the caster. The compulsion should end with his death.”

I nod, and look for Cullen.  He’s ordering his men through to the next chamber again, and I run to catch up him, the others trailing behind me.  I fill him in on what Tenebris just said. 

“Good work, Ferox. We’ll leave some men here to watch the Wardens, but we need to keep moving.”  I follow Cullen, ducking underneath a crumbling entrance to a short tunnel.

A terrifying screech splits the air, setting the hair on the back of my head on end.  My suspicion is confirmed when Alistair shouts out from behind me, “It’s Corypheus’s Archdemon!”  


	60. Fallen Pride

Chapter Sixty: Fallen Pride

 

I stare in horror through the broken roof of the tunnel as the twisted, grotesque form that had once been a dragon soars overhead.  It’s heading in the direction we are, the same direction the Inquisitor’s team had gone. Unnatural red light emanates from its powerful body.   _ Red lyrium.   _ I look at my brother, and I see his face is turned upward, the muscles of his jaw twitching slightly as he clenches his teeth together in a grimace.  He stops, standing motionless, watching the passing beast with growing alarm.

“We need to get up there!” I shout, trying to push forward out of the tunnel, frustrated with the crush of bodies in front of me.  When we finally reach the next open area, I’m disappointed to find another central courtyard, the same as before.  _ This is going to take forever.   _ Our people are fighting with the Wardens, and more demons.  I sling an ice spell at a nearby demon, freezing it when it gets too close.

“We need to get to that dragon, Sister,” Tenebris warns.

“I know!” I yell, impatient as he is.  “Cullen, Tenebris and I are your best chance against that creature.  Can you handle this here?”

“Yes.  Go!” he answers, between swings of his own sword.

“Varric, Dorian, help Cullen and the others.  Follow when you can,” I tell them. I place a hand on Alistair’s arm, and use the ring again.

The first thing I notice in the raised area isn’t the Archdemon, but a massive pride demon in a glowing ritual circle.   _ This is what they were doing?  That’s a rift, and a big one at that. _  I spot Declan and his team running ahead chasing after a man in Tevinter robes and a woman in Warden armor with a shaved head and mage staff.   _ That must be Clarel.  Good luck, Declan. _  The Archdemon is perched on a nearby tower, watching everything with malicious interest.

The pride demon, however, doesn’t give us time to watch for long, and its guttural laughter sends chills up my spine.  A glowing coil forms at its waist, and I recognize that threat immediately.

“Watch out!”  We scatter, taking cover as best we, but there are so many here.  Thankfully these Wardens appear to be helping us fight.  _ Declan’s work, no doubt.  Very well, pride demon. Two can play at this game. _

I step forward.  “Tenebris, back me up,” I order as I sheathe my weapon, crossing my arms over my head and chanting a quick boost to my spell.  The lightning hilts slide into my hand, as comfortable as my staff, just as I had done back on the Storm Coast. I pull the blinding weapons down from the sky to the stone surface.  They lay upon it, sparking and humming.  _ Good, I’ve got its attention.  Speaking of… _  I look up to the Archdemon, but it’s already gone.  “Blackwall, Alistair, Declan’s going to need you more than we do.  We’ll catch up in a minute!”

A spell from one of the Warden mages hits the pride demon, causing it to pause long enough for me to accomplish what I had planned: I snap the whip around its leg and give it a little tug.  Not enough to actually trip it, just enough for it to believe that’s what I’m doing. As it reaches for the whip, an arrow from one of the other Wardens strikes it. “Good, keep going,” I encourage them.

I arc the other whip, curling it around its neck.  Another distraction, and Tenebris’s spell hits. The demon hits its knees, roaring in pain and frustration.  It grabs hold of my glowing whips, one in each hand, and before I realize what’s happening, it yanks on both, sending my small frame stumbling forward toward the demon, and the rift.

I collapse face-first just outside of the green glow, and let go of my weapons, the magic returning to the heavens the moment it is out of my hands, and I reach for the quickest thing I can:  the small lightning dagger I’d found in Toth’s shrine in the Hissing Wastes. I glance up at the pride demon looming over me, all spines and horns. A giant hand moves toward me. I slam the dagger into its foot and dive out of the way, rolling quickly back to my feet, grabbing my staff as it threatens to get away from where I normally keep it slung on my back.

The motion costs me, and I feel the lightning energy of the creature’s whip grabbing me, pulling me back.  I cry out, more in surprise than pain, as I’m yanked back toward the rift. My staff clatters to the stones and is quickly out of reach. 

“Ferox!” Tenebris yells, and I hear him command the Wardens, “Don’t shoot, you might hit her.”

_ I’m going to have to cast without my staff, but it would be easier if this thing let go of me first. _  I scramble for anything else I can use, but come up empty.   _ No wait, what’s that? _  A smile forms on my face as I palm the object.

The pride demon laughs again, but it won’t be laughing for long.  I pull the stopper, and dash the lavender sand from the Hissing Wastes into its many small eyes.  It howls, letting me know it did  _ not _ like that just now, but releases its own whip, which also disappears once it is no longer being wielded.  

The demon grasps blindly, trying to find the small human that had caused it pain, but the arm that reaches for me flinches as it’s hit from the side from a crossbow bolt.

“Say, hello, Bianca!” Varric bellows, and it’s music to my ears.  “Nobody touches my girl.”

I scramble to my feet, grab my staff, and cast - ice this time, taking no chances.  Spears of ice shoot from the ground, piercing its spiked hide from all directions. Finally, the demon’s form breaks apart, and is pulled backwards into the open rift.  All in all, the fight with the demon took only a few minutes, but I’m exhausted. I lean on my staff, catching my breath. Varric strides purposefully to me and pulls me roughly to him in a fierce hug.  “Damn it, don’t scare me like that, Firefly.”

I wrap my arms around him briefly.  “Thanks for the timely rescue,” is all I say.  My breathing calms and I look at my brother. “One more time?” I ask him.

He nods.  He reaches out, and Dorian takes his hand, the two of them blinking out of sight.  I smile at Varric, and I’m about to twist the ring when Cullen runs into the courtyard.  “Where is the Inquisitor?” he asks.

“Up ahead; he followed Clarel and Lord Erimond.  We sent Alistair and Blackwall to help him, and we were just going to join him ourselves.”

He frowns, hesitating, then nods.  “With this rift open, there will be more demons.  We can’t afford to leave it unguarded. I’ll stay here with the others.  Be careful up there.”

A thought hits me, and I run back to the area where the demon fell, the green energy still swirling.  But what I’m looking for is thankfully outside of it. I pick up the dagger and sheath it back at my side.  I return and grasp Varric’s hand, looking up to the far top of the walkways ahead, and see a red glow. The Archdemon is up there, I know it.  I meet Varric’s gaze, and the world blurs away.

It only takes me a split second to realize that we’re too late.  The broken edge of the ramparts shows where there had once been a walkway, but Declan and the others are already gone.  

“They fell, Sister,” Tenebris says from behind me.  “There was a fight, we got here just in time to witness the end of it.  Clarel saw the error of her ways before the end, but it was already too late to save her.  She hit that beast with a powerful spell, shattering the stone. I’m sorry.”

“Are they...dead?” I ask, looking at the jagged stones of the severed passage.  Varric squeezes my hand.

“I’m not sure; there was a strange flash of magic when it all happened.  I was planning to go look for them down there. But, I  _ do _ have a consolation prize,” he states, pointing behind him.  Tenebris knows binding spells better than anyone, and Lord Erimond is definitely bound tightly.  “You’re not going anywhere, you filth,” my brother states, giving him a shove with his boot for good measure.

“You will all see,” Erimond spouts, his finely-groomed facial hair giving him an almost comical appearance now that he’s bound and bent.  “I serve a god.”

My eyes flick to Tenebris.  “He doesn’t know who we are then?”

“When there is time, Sister, we shall have to educate this ignorant human.”

“Right, looking forward to it,” I acknowledge.  “And where’s the dragon?”

“We don’t know,” Dorian answered, shaking his head.  “It fell too, right before the Inquisitor.”

I sigh.  “Take this Tevinter garbage - no offense Dorian - down to Cullen.  He’ll know what to do. I’ll stay with Varric and Dorian, make sure they both get back downstairs alright, and we’ll see if we can find Declan and the others.  Be careful. There were still demons down there last we saw, and we don’t know where that phony Archdemon is.” It’s left unspoken that we’re probably finding their broken corpses after a fall from this height, but for Varric’s sake, I keep my composure.

“You hear that,  _ kaffas? _  My sister has given you to me for safekeeping.”  Tenebris’s laughter takes on a sinister tone, which amuses me.

“Take care, Brother.”

“And you,” he says, before using his ring to travel one last time.

I turn to Dorian and Varric.  “I need to peek out over the side, to see if I can see what happened to them.”

“You are the lightest of us,” Varric admitted.  “But I don’t like it.”

“I have an idea,” Dorian says, heading back a ways.  He returns with a ladder. “Something to hold on to, at least.”

They set the ladder flat on the ground, with both of them standing on it for stability.  I walk between the rungs, enough that if the ground crumbled under me, I could probably catch my own weight on it.  I gingerly walk to the edge, testing the ground with each step before continuing. I peer over the ledge, and see nothing.  No Archdemon, no crumpled bodies of our companions, but there is a lot of debris.  _ We need to go sort through it if we can, make sure they aren’t in there. _

“Nothing from here,” I report, turning back around, and then I hear it:  the beating of wings.  _ “Run!”  _ I shout, sprinting toward the doorway that leads to the stairs down.   _ We can’t fight that thing up here, especially knowing the floor is unstable. _  I watch as the others turn, their movements seemingly slowed to a crawl in my rush of adrenaline.

I clear the archway to the stairs just as a blast of red energy hits it, narrowly missing my head.  The sound of it is awful, like shards of glass hitting stone. I force my feet to keep moving down the stairs.   _ We need a better position.  Here, all it has to do is knock is off the side, and we’re dead. _

“Don’t stop,” I bark at the other two, “it’s right behind us.”

A massive head appears on my right, the opening in the stone revealing its features briefly as it flies by.   _ We’re never going to make it like this, that thing is too fast. _

“I have to distract it.  You two keep moving, get to the others.  I’ll try to pull it away from you.”

“Are you crazy?” Varric shouts, his eyes darting behind to look at me.  “No, this isn’t one of your dragons you can talk to. You saw that thing.”

“I have an idea of how I can match its element, but it’s going to be ugly.”

“Ferox, no.”  Varric pauses, and I quickly catch up to him.  He grabs my hand and we run together. If I had been a normal-sized human, we probably couldn’t have accomplished it, but we’re able to stay side-by-side.  “You’re getting out of here, damn it. I’m not losing you like that. Besides, I promised your brother.”

“If Lucis cared so fucking much, then he should have  _ been _ here, but he’s not!”  I pull my hand away from him and draw the lightning dagger.  “I’m doing this for  _ you _ .  It will work.  I’m not trying to convince it to help us, or fight it, just distract it.  I still have one trip left on my ring. I’ll use it if it’s not working. I promise.  Just go.”

Hesitation causes him to stop, but Dorian runs back and grabs hold of his jacket.  “Dragon Girl says go, Varric. You can’t fight that thing for her, at least not alone.  We’ll get help.”

“You’re right, Sparkler,” he agrees, then looks at me.  “I’ll go, but only to bring reinforcements.”

I nod.  “Alright.”

I watch in relief as he continues on.  I don’t want him to have to see what I need to do next.  I’m not about to try to use red lyrium, but there’s something else that might work - something I haven’t done in a very long time.

Reaching the next flat area, I’m glad to see it’s deserted; Dorian and Varric disappear down the stairs as I arrive.   _ This will do. _  I lay the blade of my storm dagger against the skin of my palm and make a cut.  My own power wells, and I feel Toth waking in confusion.  _ No, not you.  Peace, old friend. _  I focus my will on the scarlet droplets, and imbue it all with the power of the storm.  Lightning strikes the tower nearby, and the wind whistles through the ancient structure.  The blood magic rotates around me in a dizzying aura.

“Come to me dragon!” I demand in Draconic.  “I am what your master seeks.”

A screech, high-pitched and frightening sounds above me, but I am calm.  _  I am power.  I am the storm.   _

The massive beast crashes to the floor of the tower, its tattered wings surprisingly still able to support its weight.  It glares at me, but does not immediately attack.  _ Good. It’s curious, at least. _

“Whasssssit?” it hisses, barely coherent.   _ Is that because I can’t match its element or from what Corypheus did to it _ ?  “Whatarrrreyou?”

“I am the Stormbringer,” I declare, and there’s another flash as lightning strikes the building, throwing stone and dust into the air.

It moves to speak again, but then it bellows instead, howling... _ in pain, _ I realize.   _ Oh, that poor thing. _  Then I see it, in its neck, the glow of tiny red crystals, shifting.   _ Red lyrium is growing inside it. _

“He will pay for doing this to you,” I promise.

“Noooo, Massssster,” it cries, and I can’t tell if it wants to protect Corypheus or hates him.   _ He’s bound it to his will, it might be both.  But maybe if I try, I can overpower his compulsion.  Tenebris would be better at this, but it’s worth attempting. _

“Listen to me, dragon,” I start moving closer, allowing the blood magic shield to spread outward, encompassing more of the area around me.  “I want to help you, to make the pain stop.”

“Sssstop.  Hurtssss.”

“I know it does, dearest, and I’m sorry.  This never should have happened. But if you let me, I might be able to help you.”

“Hellllp.”

I reach out with the magic, and allow it to wash over the dragon.  Nothing happens at first, but I add my will, and the blood glows with a purple light, the light of the storm.  There’s something in its eyes, an understanding. And then nothing, the moment gone, the eyes gone flat black again.  The dragon leaps into the air, wings flapping, the force of the wind knocking me to the ground.

Another screech, no more words, and the beast flies off into the night.  I lay there for a second before standing, watching as it leaves, heading back east.   _ At least we know the general direction of where Corypheus is. _  I stand and end the magic, casting a quick healing spell to close the wound before heading to the stairs.

I half expected my brother or Varric to meet me as I descend, but they are a little preoccupied by what’s going on below.  Declan stumbles out of the rift in the main courtyard where we had fought the pride demon.

“Where were you?” Tenebris asks upon seeing me.  “I felt your magic.”

“Talking with an Archdemon,” I admit, and he just shakes his head.

I walk to Varric’s side, and he puts an arm around me, sighing a breath of relief.  “They’re back,” he says, watching as the others emerged, Blackwall, Cole, Cassandra, Alistair.  But then, Declan closes his fist, and the rift closes.

“No…” I whisper.

Varric steps forward toward the Inquisitor, his features contorted with anguish.

“Where’s Hawke?”


	61. The Fade

Chapter Sixty-One: The Fade

 

“You  _ left _ him?!” I screech, wanting nothing more than to punch Declan right now.  “How could you?”

Declan’s expression remains calm, stoic, the firm set of his lips and the small twitching muscle in his forehead the only indication of his internal state. “Hawke volunteered, Ferox, it doesn’t make me any happier than it does you, but his sacrifice was not in vain.  His bravery is the only reason any of us escaped.”

I fall silent as Declan does his duty as Inquisitor, giving a rousing speech to the Wardens.  He tells them that from now on, Alistair will be taking over leadership in hopes of reforming the ranks, and that they will be helping the Inquisition.  I stare at my ring.  _ I can go there. _  It’s how my brothers and I travel back and forth between the mortal world and the Black City, although I haven’t been in the area outside the city’s defenses in a long time.   _ I can go after Hawke.   _ Declan says more about Hawke’s courage facing the nightmare demon.   

Varric’s head is down, trying to keep his features from showing the agony inside, and I can’t bear to watch his grief.   _ I can make this right.   _ I look to my brother, who notices my expression and shakes his head.

“No, Ferox,” Tenebris says, moving toward me.

“No?  Everyone keeps telling me ‘no’.  Have I  _ ever _ listened?” I ask him, a tear sliding down my cheek.

Varric is slower to react, but I’m already backing away from the others when realization dawns on him.

“I’ll fix this, I promise,” I tell them, placing my hand on the ring.

“No, please, not you too!” Varric cries, falling to his knees, his hand outstretched toward me. The fear and desperation in his eyes is the last thing I see before the world blurs.

“Forgive me, Varric,” I whisper, not that he can hear me now.

The Fade is different than the last time I was here.  It’s likely the nightmare demon has changed this place, altered the landscape, twisting it to its own purpose.  Maybe I should have stayed longer, gotten more information about Declan’s experience here, but I couldn’t risk Varric or Tenebris trying to stop me, and I don’t know how long Hawke has.

The area around me is clear for the moment.  A few wraiths hover in the distance, but no immediate threats.  No Hawke, either, though. I search for any clues as to where he might have gone, but the swampy area surrounding me has a thin layer of fog above it that obscures most of the path.  I bend down to examine it more closely, but still find nothing. The chill starts to set in and I rub my arms in an attempt to stay warm. I cast a light warming barrier and immediately feel better.

I look at the ring, with its pattern of silver vines wrapping around my finger.  I’ve spent all of my charges, and it won’t be of any use to me for a while. It will build up another, but not until tomorrow evening, one day after I used the first one.  Of course, telling time in a place like this will be tricky, anyway. I need to find Garrett and keep him alive long enough to get us both back. My other ring catches my attention, the opal glinting dimly in the green light of the Fade.  Guilt weighs on my shoulders.  _ I’ll make it back, Love, and I’ll get Hawke home, even if all I can do is bring back his body. _

Glancing upward, I see the Black City in the distance.  Home is so close, but yet unreachable from here.  _ When did I start thinking of the Inquisition as home?  I can try to get there, but it will mean going through the city’s defenses. _  I use the pendant, call for Hawke, but there’s no response.  I try my brothers, one at a time, but get nothing.  _ Maybe it doesn’t work in this place?  _ I start walking, keeping my eyes open.  This nightmare demon of Declan’s sounds like quite the enemy, and I’d rather avoid confronting it directly if possible.

I wander through the chilly swamp for over an hour.  I’m forced to take down a few demons during that time, but it’s mostly quiet.  Finally I stop at a small table with a chair to rest, the exertions of the rest of the day catching up to me.  It doesn’t surprise me that the table is there at all. This is the Fade, and nearly anything is possible. I eat a tiny bit of the rations in my pack, grateful I at least have that much, but I’m careful only to eat a small portion.  Because I am here physically, and this is not a dream, my hunger and thirst will still be an issue.

I check the rest of my supplies: two lyrium potions Solas foisted off on me before we got to Adamant, the lightning dagger, a mostly full waterskin and the rest of my trail rations.  Not much that is helpful right now, but I’m glad I at least have what I do.

I’m tucking it all back away when I finally hear something.  I’ve grown so used to the low sound of the wind that I almost think I imagine it for a second but no, there is a definite sound. I instinctively head toward it, welcoming anything that might point me in the right direction.

I ascend a set of stairs cut deep into the earth, still careful to remain as quiet as possible.  When I crest the rise I see the source of the sound: Varric is sitting at a desk, writing and mumbling as he scratches away with his quill.

“Varric!” I shout in surprise, and then wish I could take it back.   _ There is no way that is Varric.  This has to be a trick of a spirit, or the nightmare itself. _  “Varric” turns his face toward me, his expression grief-stricken, just as it had looked right before I left; his hand clenches to his chest, and I admit, it tugs at my heart.

“Cute,” I say looking up into the dark green sky, speaking to the unseen Nightmare.  “That’s the best you have? I know where he is, and it isn’t here.”

Varric utters, “Firefly?”  He pulls the hand away from his chest, and blood seeps out, covering his fingers.

I approach the apparition that has taken the face of my dwarf, brandishing my staff.  “Try again, Nightmare.”

The illusion fades away and is replaced with a giant spider.  I slam my staff into the ground, freezing it, and follow up with a lightning bolt that leaves it twitching on its back.

Ahead, I see Cole.  Another apparition. “Are we really going to play this game again?”

Cole’s mouth moves.  “One of them has betrayed me.”

I frown.  “Tell me something I don’t know.  That’s not going to work either.” I don’t wait for the nightmare this time, freezing the image of my friend’s face, and shatter it with a swift stab from my dagger, the lightning arcing through him.

When he falls, it returns again to what it had been, just as the other had done.  I sigh. This is unpleasant, but I’d hardly say that it’s unbearable. 

A voice boomed out of nowhere.  “Ah, Ferox the Destroyer, self-proclaimed goddess of the elements.  Should I be afraid of you?” It laughs, the tone deep and mocking.

I look around for the source of the voice, but see nothing.

“I’m certainly not afraid of you and your petty tricks!” I declare, holding my staff at the ready.  “Why don’t you show yourself?”

“Did you say goodbye to them, Destroyer?  You gave in to your power before, you will do it again - it is your nature.  What little consolation your intentions will be when your hands are covered in the blood of everyone you love.”

I wince.   _ That one hurts a little. _  I feel Toth, restless within me.   _ She doesn’t like being here either, but I have to ignore it.  Words are nothing. It’s just trying to mess with me, keep me from accomplishing my objective. _

I put one foot in front of the other, and I’m glad when the voice ceases its infernal derision.  After a few minutes, I find myself at the foot of a cliff. A small cemetery squats behind a low fence, with several worn gravestones in various states of disrepair.  I move to turn around, but the engraving of “Ferox” at the top of one catches my attention. Under my name are the words “loss of control” _. _ _ My fear, obviously _ .  The others are all blank, save one: Hawke.   _ Hawke lives then, thank goodness. _  His gravestone just reads “loss” _.  Oh, Hawke, I need to find you. _

I turn around, obviously getting no further this direction, not with this cliff.  I backtrack for a while, passing the table where I had rested earlier, and then I spot him, slumped against a wall.

“Garrett?” I ask, moving forward cautiously, my staff still firmly in my hand.  He’s exhausted, covered in filth and glaring at me.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, demon; you already ran through all my family, Varric, Isabela and Aveline.  You think giving me Ferox is going to get to me?”

_ Ok, that’s definitely Hawke alright.   _ I relax my pose, and put away my staff.  “Garrett, I’m a little hurt that I don’t rank higher in the list after I came all the way here to save your ass.”

He squinted, confused.  “Dragon Girl?”

I smile.  “Yeah, and I’m happy to see you still in one piece.  I gotta say, after Declan’s description of what happened, I thought-”  My statement cuts off in a grunt as Hawke throws his arms around my waist, and pulls me down, just in time to avoid the massive insectoid leg that tries to crush us.

My eyes widen in shock when I see the size of it.  That monstrosity must be the nightmare, and it has fed well, from the looks of it.  By far the largest demon I’ve ever seen, it has taken the form of a giant malformed spider, with some kind of viscous mucus dripping from its hairless midsection.  It towers over the two of us. 

“Move it, Ferox, we can’t stay here!” Garrett shouts, grabbing my hand and pulling me up and forward.  We run, splashing through the shallow water, my feet soon aching from the cold, despite my fire barrier. _ There’s no way it won’t be able to follow us with as much noise as we’re making.   _ I hear the same deep laughter as before.   _ This is a game to it. _

“We need to find a place to hide, somewhere small enough that it can’t follow,” I tell Hawke loudly.

He changes directions, and I hope he knows a place that will work.  We are quickly approaching a wall, a waterfall of sickly green water falling over the top of it.  Garrett ducks inside, behind the waterfall, and then around a bend. There is a smaller chamber within, with a raised rock shelf high enough to get us out of the water.

“Do you think your actions matter, Hawke?” the booming voice provokes.  “You’ve just trapped yourself inside with the most dangerous thing you could find here.  She will die, too, like all the others, but not before turning on you.”

“So you  _ are _ afraid of her, then,” he shouts back.

My eyes meet Garrett’s, our breathing echoing sharply in the small chamber, lit from the faint light hitting the water below, and we both smile.  I summon a small wisp to help us see better. It’s a little stronger than the ones I usually get, and I’m pleased. The nightmare demon is silent again, for now, but I’m certain it’s just waiting for us to emerge again.

“Are you alright?” I ask, examining him.

“Mostly.  I fought that thing for what felt like ages, and then suddenly it backed off, and I heard that awful laughing again.  I’m wondering if I even hurt it at all.”

“Yeah, I got that impression when it was chasing us.  We’re just prey, a game. Why kill off a readily available food source?” I muse.

He winces, and I notice the dark stain spreading on his side.  Immediately, I start the blue light of healing magic, and place my hand over his chest, knitting the wound together.

“Idiot, why didn’t you heal yourself?” I question.

“I ran out of mana a while ago, and I been running ever since.  I haven’t been able to rest.”

“You could have at least said something about being injured,” I mutter, finishing the spell.  “I have a couple of lyrium potions with me, but you’re right. I think rest would be better for both of us.”  We sit together on the rock shelf and I hand him one of the potions, which he places in his pack.

“No one else is coming, are they?” he asks after a few minutes.

I shake my head.  “I came on my own, and used up the last trip I had getting here,” I tell him.

He sighs.  “I can’t imagine Varric was happy with that decision.”

I hang my head.  “I didn’t really give him a say in it,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper.    “But I wasn’t going to leave you like that, not when I had the power to do something.”

“Ferox…” he trails off, and his features pinch in some unreadable emotion.  He raises a hand toward me, but to comfort or scold me, I don’t know. The hand drops without reaching me, and his expression softens, his eyes shining as they meet mine.  “I don’t even know how to begin to thank you. I thought that this was it, that I was dead.”

“Wait and thank me when we actually get out of here.”

“How  _ are _ we getting out, anyway?  You said you used your last trip already,” he points out.

“If we can make it until tomorrow evening, around the time I used the first charge, then we’ll be able to use the ring again for one trip,” I inform him.

“That’s it, then?  We just wait?” His back hits the wall, and I can see the hope in his eyes dwindling.  The nightmare’s minions will be back soon, and we both know it.

“Well, I do have a backup plan, but it’s a lot riskier,” I admit, thinking about the Black City. 

He looks at me with a shrug and turns his hand upward in question, indicating I should continue.

I sigh.  “It doesn’t matter anyway.  We’re not going anywhere just yet with that thing out there, waiting.  We should get a little sleep while we can.”

“You want to  _ sleep?  Here?” _ he questions.

I raise my staff, and the rock armor I’m still wearing from the battle at Adamant peels away from my skin, the sandy debris mixing with mud and rocks from the swamp.  I coat the entryway with it and harden it to make a barrier, making sure to leave enough space for both the air above and water below to get out.

“Neat trick,” he says, his teeth chattering in the chilly cave.

“Show you one better.  But we’ll have to be touching for this.”

He raises an eyebrow, but reaches out his hand and touches mine.  His hands are like ice. I allow my warming barrier to wash over him.   _ I was right to come get him. _

He gives a contented sigh, enjoying the warmth.  “I  _ have  _ to learn how to do that one,” he says. “Ferox, this ledge isn’t very big.  We’re going to have to get pretty cozy if we’re both going to try to sleep.”

“Just my luck, trapped in a sea cave with an octopus,” I grumble, but chuckle.  “It’s fine, Garrett. It’s not like we haven’t slept next to each other before.”

He lays down on the rock shelf, scooting as far back as he can to make room for me.  I settle in next to him, his arm around me as he had done the other couple of times when he moved next to me in his sleep.  It feels awkward at first, but after a few minutes, we both relax.

I clear my throat.  “Um...best not to mention this part to Varric in the retelling.”

A soft chuckle sounds above my head.  “I’m really glad you’re here. When I thought I was alone, and it was over...I…”

I gently squeeze his arm.  “I think I know a way you can thank me, if you were serious.”

“I  definitely don’t think Varric would approve of that, Ferox.”

I elbow him in the stomach.  Hard. “Oof, okay, okay, I’m listening,” he grunts.

I turn to look at him in the dim light.  “Promise me that when we get out of here, you’ll go find her, find Isabela.  Tell her you forgive her, take her in your arms and let her know that you still love her.  Life is far too short to live with regret if you can change it.”

He exhales, and I see him nod.  “I will, I promise.”

The quietness of the Fade is soothing now, although I know that the nightmare demon is regrouping outside our shelter.  I’m finding myself getting sleepy, when Garrett whispers. “Ferox...do you know what happens if you fall asleep in the Fade?”

“Nothing happens, just sleep.”

He exhales.  “Nothing sounds pretty good right about now.”


	62. Leaving

Chapter Sixty-Two: Leaving

 

I wake with a start and immediately know something is wrong.  Hawke’s body heat is missing from behind me and when I reach out to find him, he’s gone.  I sit up and grab my staff, still within arm’s reach, and summon the wisp. My barrier over the door is still in place, but there’s no Hawke.   _ He couldn’t have gotten out through the rock wall...where is he? _  A sinking feeling settles into my chest just as the laughter starts.

“What did you do with him?!” I shout.

The laughter subsides and the echoes die out.   _ No, no, no, he wasn’t an illusion, I’d know it.  Don’t let that thing get to you. Hawke was really here, I just have to find him. _  I pull the barrier down, taking all of it, the sand from outside Adamant, the rock and mud from the swamps of the Fade, and cloak myself in Rock Armor again.  I realize I’m going to have to venture back outside, a prospect that is far less appealing after remembering the monstrous arachnoid form of the nightmare demon.  But I don’t have a choice. I decided before I came here that I was bringing Garrett home, one way or another.

I peer cautiously out from behind the waterfall, but the area outside the cave is deserted.  I remember Hawke’s assertion that the demon was afraid of me.  _ Maybe it’s true.  I certainly hope so. _   My first few steps are hesitant, but before long I’m slogging through the swamp again, the accumulating muck on my boots making each footfall a little harder than the last.  It’s with relief that I finally climb more stairs, away from the soggy landscape below.

The sound of fighting reaches my ears and I look into the distance to try to find the source.  I see the top of the hulking body of the Nightmare, attacking...something. There’s only one “something” I can think of that it would bother going after, and that thought is enough to spur me into action. _  I’m coming, Hawke. _

I grip my staff tightly in one hand and run toward the sound of spells hitting flesh, and the cries of the beast.  I can tell they’re just up ahead, around a wall of rock.  Finally, I reach the end of the wall and turn to take in the scene before me.  Hawke is battling the Nightmare alone. Thankfully, none of its smaller spider minions are present, but I know there’s no way Hawke is going to win this fight all by himself.

Pure instinct rises up in me.  Anger, indignation that this... _ mere spirit _ would dare hurt my friend.  I feel the rage rising up within me.  Toth takes notice, but remains steady.   _ Yes, my friend, I think it’s time for a little fire. _

The blast of flame bursts out of my staff with a fury, singeing the moist underbelly of the Nightmare.  It screeches, rearing back up on its hind legs. When it descends, it doesn’t turn to look at me as I had expected.  In a split-second that makes my heart nearly stop, it pounces on top of Garrett in a sickening motion, fangs extended, and I see red.

My voice rips out of my throat, but I’m glad to hear it’s still just mine.  “Oh keeper of the smoke and flame, burn all before me in your name.”  _ Death.  Death to the Nightmare. _

Fire rises like a wave and rushes toward the demon, glowing blue in its intensity.  It crests and crashes into the massive body, igniting the creature. The Nightmare jerks and spasms, ineffectually attempting to pat out the flames.  It gives up after a few seconds and runs, skittering into the distance, covering ground quickly on its towering legs.

I immediately race to Hawke’s side and examine his wounds.  The flames hadn’t touched his flesh, but there are two large puncture wounds in his chest that are slowly oozing dark red and black fluid.   _ No, no, he’s poisoned. _  I know my expression must be telling him my thoughts because he smiles.  “It’s going to be alright, Ferox.”

“The Void it is!” I scream in protest.  “I...I can’t even heal you like this, it would just close the poison inside.  I don’t know what to do, Garrett…” Tears are already forming in my eyes, and I reach out to hold his hand in a sign of silent support.  Then it hits me: I know someone who can help, we just need to get to him. “Lucis will know what to do. We just need to get to the Black City.”

“Now I know I’m hallucinating.  I thought you just said you want to go to the Black City...you know, where the Maker lives.”  He chuckles, but the sound cuts off in a wet cough. I’m horrified to see the dark stain on his hand when the coughing subsides.   _ Hawke is going to die if I don’t do something. _  I look up at the Black City, the place I have lived for most of my long life.  We have defenses, traps on the outside, both magical and mundane. They are meant to keep out any others who try to invade.  

I look down at my ring, shining where it rests against Hawke’s hand.  “It’s not yet time, but maybe we should risk it.”

“No,” he mutters, but again trails off, coughing.

“Get to your feet, Garrett, I’m getting you out of here,” I command, and attempt to get an arm underneath him to help lift.  Of course, he’s substantially larger than I am, so he ends up mostly draped across my back by the time we get him upright.

“Ferox, just leave me.  We’re never going to make it.  Go back, tell Varric...tell him…” His weight gets heavier, and I feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest in desperation.

“No,” I choke out in protest.  “You don’t get to die on me.  I’m going to get you help…”

I touch the ring, ready to leave when a voice stops me.

“Ferox, don’t!” Garrett calls and I look up to see him standing a few dozen feet away.   _ That doesn’t make any sense, I can still feel his weight on my… _

“Shit!” I yell, dropping the giant spider I had draped across my shoulders.  It hisses, and raises up on its back legs, spitting venom at me, but I thankfully am able to dodge while the real Hawke hits it with an ice spell.  A well-placed kick from my boot shatters the horrid thing, and I’m left panting, out of breath.

“Garrett…” I start, looking at him.  “That thing was  _ you _ .  You were  _ dying _ and I couldn’t save you.”

“It’s alright now, Dragon Girl.  We got it.”

I eye him suspiciously.   _ What if this is another trick from the Nightmare? _

My confusion registers with him and he smiles.  “I could ask the same of you, but okay, I’ll bite.  I made you a promise before we fell asleep. One I intend to keep.”

My relief is immediate, and I run to him, grabbing his hand.  “I’m getting us out of here, Garrett. I’m not going through that again.”

“Wait, you can’t use the ring, right?  I thought you had a backup plan,” he reminds me.

I sigh.  “I don’t think it will work.”

“Tell me what it is, at least.”

I wring my hands.  “I was going to take you back home with me.  To  _ my _ home that is, where Etiam and Lucis are.”

“Without the ring, how were you expecting to get there?” he questions, brow furrowing in confusion.

“Walk?” I offer vaguely.

“From the Fade?  Ferox, you’re not making any sense.”

“Garrett...I-” I take a deep breath.  “I live in the Black City.”

He bursts into laughter, until he sees that my expression doesn’t change.  “You’re joking, right? Tell me you’re joking, Ferox.”

I shake my head.  “It’s where I’ve lived for the last thousand years.”

“But that’s the seat of the Maker himself!  That’s impossible.”

I shrug, breaking eye contact.  “It won’t be easy getting in. We implemented formidable defenses after the magisters attacked.”

“Magisters... _ we... _ Ferox are you saying you  _ know  _ the Maker?”

“I should hope so; we were only born a few minutes apart.”

Hawke is quiet, stunned into silence.  After a minute he shakes his head, but says nothing as his breathing quickens, and he sits down hard on the ground.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“No, I’m not,” he answers, shock still evident on his face.  “I want to say you’re lying, but you don’t lie about this stuff.  I met the  _ fucking Maker _ and didn’t know it.  And I’m suddenly  _ very _ happy that you picked Varric and not me.”  He’s thoughtful for a few minutes. “Then Corypheus…”

“Was one of the magisters who attacked the Golden City, yes.  But he shouldn’t have the kind of power that he does.”

“...and the Blight?” he asks, horrified.

I sigh.  “Partially our fault, but it was never intended to go on as long as it has.  The darkspawn would have died out a few decades after it started, but our generals were trapped by the elven pantheon.”

“By Fen’Harel.  I know the damned story, Ferox... _ shit,  _ I wish I didn’t know this.”

“I’m the same person you’ve known all along.  You knew I was a goddess; nothing has changed.”

He winces.  “My best friend is sleeping with the Maker’s twin sister.”

“Your best friend is  _ marrying _ her,” I correct, indignant.  “I love him.”

“Sorry, Ferox,” he says, swallowing.  “I didn’t mean anything by it. He loves you, too; everyone can see that.”

“Garrett, we need to move,” I tell him, watching behind him.

“Does Varric know?” he asked, unperturbed.

It isn’t until I pull my staff and brandish it that that he understands and gets to his feet.  The Nightmare is coming, and it is not alone. A sea of spiders, a hundred thick at least, rises over the closest hill, and my heart plummets.   _ We can’t possibly fight them all. _

“There’s no time, Garrett.  We have to use the ring, risk or no risk.  We’ll never get to the Black City in time. If I’m using it anyway, I might as take us back to Adamant.”

I allow my Rock Armor to drop.

“What are you doing?” he asks, scowling now.

“Something impulsive, of course. Now hold onto me, you idiot,” I instruct him.

He steps forward, making contact with me, and I pull the Rock Armor back, like a shield around both of us.  The material is partly of the Fade, and partly of the real world. I’m hoping it’s enough to protect us from whatever is about to happen from using the ring a fifth time.

“I’m sorry, Garrett, this is probably going to hurt, and I have no idea if it will work.”

“Better than being eaten by spiders,” he nervously jokes, looking down into my eyes.  I twist the ring, summoning the travel magic.  The world blurs.

The pain is immediate as soon as we arrive.  Hawke’s frame seems to grow as I collapse, the sand and mud falling away from both of us.  I scream.  _ Toth screams _ .


	63. At the Maker's Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Abusive themes with family, isolation, depression.

Chapter 63: At the Maker’s Side

 

“Firefly!”  __ Varric’s voice calls out with a number of emotions at seeing me, but I don’t have time to sort them out.

_ Shit, no, this isn’t happening.  Not now. Varric, don’t get close to me, it’s not safe. _

“Get away from me!” I bite out, Toth’s voice creeping into my own.  “Get my brother.”

“I’m here,” Tenebris says, and I feel, rather than see him kneel next to me. My eyes squeeze shut in pain.  “Hang on, imp,” he mutters, and I feel the familiar chains of his blood magic wrap around me and tighten.  _ Good, keep me from hurting anyone. _  I open my eyes and try to focus on him, but my vision is blurry.  He places a hand over my chest to begin drawing out the corruption...but nothing happens.

“What happened?” he asks someone over my head.

Hawke answers, “She used the ring again to bring us back.”   _ Hawke sounds okay.  Thank the stars it didn’t affect him. _

Tenebris curses and reaches down to touch my forehead.  I try to jerk away, not wanting to burn him, but the fingers that stroke my skin feel warm and he doesn’t pull away.   _ I’m not turning? _

“It’s not the Blight, Ferox. I’m not sure what is wrong.”

The pain overcomes me again, radiating out from my chest, and I cry out, my voice and Toth’s mingling in a choked sob.

“You can’t do anything for her?” Varric asks, his voice thick.

I feel a rush of air behind me, and I know that Lucis has arrived.  His emotions are in turmoil, and I’m guessing he either sensed mine or was watching in the Well.  

“Tenebris, release the binding,” Lucis orders.  “Let me tend to her.” The others back away, all save Tenebris.

Tenebris responds, “I can hear Toth in her voice, but it’s not the corruption.  I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

Lucis sighs, taking Tenebris’s place next to me.  His kind, pale blue eyes look down at me with sadness.  “The magic of the ring had no resources to pull from, so it drained her mana instead.  If she had been rested, it probably would have taken a substantial amount, but she would have been fine.  But, after the battle, she was already low, and carrying a passenger. When she ran out of mana, it began pulling on her very life force.  Toth is likely trying to protect the body they share.”

“Can you help her?” Varric asks, and I feel a shift in my brother’s emotions.

“You lost the right to ask me questions when you let her get hurt, Child of the Stone,” he states, his tone ice cold.  “Back away.” Lucis reaches a calming hand over my head and whispers, “Sleep, Sister.” Drowsiness overcomes me.  _ He’s trying to put me into stasis.  No.  _  I struggle, but I already feel the darkness of sleep encroaching.  It’s all I can do to keep my eyes open, but I can still hear the conversation around me.  I feel my body move, and I know I’m being picked up in my twin brother’s arms.

“Where are you taking her?” Varric asks.

“I already warned you once, dwarf; you  _ will _ hold your tongue.”

“Please,” he says, “let me come with you, at least.”

Hawke interjects, “Varric, don’t...this is going to sound crazy, but her brother is the Maker.”

“What?” comes the curt reply.  Silence follows. I wish I could see his expression, that I could reassure him.  I’d tell him that a bunch of Chantry nonsense doesn’t matter, that I love him and want to spend forever with him, but my weariness is keeping me from doing any of that, and I can no longer even keep my eyes open.

Lucis answers, “The mortal speaks true; I am the one you call the Maker.  I am Lucis the Creator, god of Light and Creation. I trusted you with her once,  _ dwarf, _ and you proved yourself unworthy of her.  I will not be making the same mistake again.  Ferox is going home with me to the Black City,  _ where she belongs,  _ and where she will stay.”

“Lucis, don’t do this,” Tenebris protests.  “Ferox wouldn’t want it this way.”

“The time for what Ferox wants is over; I know what’s best for her.  You should come home with us, too, Tenebris.”

A pause.  “No,” Tenebris says, almost imperceptibly, but then his voice returns with more confidence.  “No, I stand with the Inquisition.”

“Then you will suffer their fate, as well,” my brother says, and the change in ambient sound tells me he used his ring and we’re home again.  That’s the last thing I’m aware of before I finally lose my battle against sleep.

*             *             *

I wake slowly in my room in the Black City.  My body aches, and I feel as though I have run for hours.  Lucis is here, murmuring soothing words as he runs a cool cloth over my forehead.  My eyes flutter open and I look up at him. My head feels foggy, as though I can’t quite gather my thoughts.   _ I feel like I shouldn’t be here...but why? _

My brother smiles.  “Good, you’re awake.  I was worried the magic had drained too much from you.  You gave me quite the scare.” A gentle hand traces over my damp hair.

“How long have I been sleeping?” I ask.

A guilty expression appears on his face, but is quickly replaced with his kind smile again.  “I had to keep you asleep for a while so you could heal.”

“How long, Lucis?” I repeat, my tone still calm although my anger is starting to rise within me already, fueling me.

“A week,” he admits.

“A week?” I gasp, sitting up, my thoughts immediately racing to how worried Varric will be.    _ Varric, that’s why I can’t be here. _  I reach down to grasp my pendant, but find it gone.  Looking down at my hands, I see that my travel ring is gone, and more depressingly, the lovely opal ring Varric had said reminded him of me.  I look at Lucis in alarm.

“You need to stay here, Ferox.  You nearly died. I won’t risk you like that again, I can’t.”

“Give me back my things, I’m going back.”

He frowns.  “No,” he says, shaking his head.  “You can be mad at me all you want, but I’m going to keep you safe.”

I move to get up, and realize I’m dressed differently than I last remember, too.  I ignore that train of thought and stand up. “The second I have an opportunity, I’m leaving.  You can’t keep me here.”

“Sister…” he hedges.

“What are you going to do, Brother?  Will you hit me again?” I poke petulantly.

He winces.  “Ferox, you’re better off here.  You don’t know what’s coming…” he looks away, and suddenly I feel as though I’ll never breathe again.

“It’s you, isn’t it?  You’re working with Corypheus,” I say, my fears put into the most terrifying words I’ve ever spoken.

His expression gives away nothing.  “Corypheus is just a pawn,” he says.  “The end of the world of mortals is coming quickly, Sister.  It’s only a matter of time before it comes to fruition, through one means or another.”

“But you’re  _ helping _ it,” I add, horror of the realizations coming to my mind.

“Yes.”  His eyes give no sign of a lie, and I know his words to be true.   _ Lucis wants the world to end. _

I shake my head.  “What have you done, Brother?”   


“I’m starting over.”

I walk over to him, my jaw set.  I almost chew the words as I spit them out.  “Did you use your magic to give Corypheus that dragon?”

He doesn’t look me in the eye, and I know the answer before he speaks.  “I did,” he says quietly.

“I can’t even _ look  _ at you right now.  Get out of my room.”

His eyes widen in confusion.  “I said get out!” He doesn’t budge.  “Get out, getoutgetgout GET OUT!” I yell.  He backs up, one step at a time.

I shove him out of the door and slam it in his face.  I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I don’t care.  _ My favorite brother summoned a dragon and gave it to that corrupted monster...ugh, I’m going to be sick. _

Dizziness hits me and I have to lean on a chair for support.   _ Maybe I’m not completely healed, after all. _  I sit on the bed, and end up laying down, hoping the room will stop moving soon.  I wrap my hands around my aching stomach, trying not to be ill.

_ How did this happen? _  When _ did it happen?  For Lucis to have given the dragon to him, it had to have been a year ago, maybe more.  He’s been planning this the whole time? And what is Etiam’s role in this? _  Another image flashes through my mind:  Etiam chatting with Fen’Harel.  _ I bet the Trickster - that little weasel - is involved in this, too.  I never should have kept his secret. _

I’ve never wanted to talk to Tenebris more, but I don’t have my pendant.   _ But I can use the Watcher’s Well! _  Of course, I bet Lucis isn’t even far from my doorstep yet.  After our little discussion just now, I doubt he’s going to be keen on me communicating with Tenebris and Varric.   _ Don’t give up on me, Varric, I’m coming back as soon as I can.   _ I realize I’m going to have to play along with my brother a little to get him to trust me.  He’d never believe it right now, not after I just shouted at him.  _ In the morning, _ I tell myself.  I should just focus on getting some sleep, and I can deal with it tomorrow.  Even with as nervous as I am, I’m also exhausted, and it doesn’t take me long before I find myself falling asleep.

I awake to find I’m still in my room, with the door still locked, and sigh, remembering what has transpired.   _ Lucis helped Corypheus make his phony Archdemon.  I need to know what else he’s done. _  I get out of bed, my stomach settled somewhat since last night, and I walk to my vanity.  Looking in the mirror, I’m saddened at the loss of my pendant, as I’m so used to wearing it every day.   _ I miss you, Varric. _  I remember our eyes meeting in the mirror the morning he proposed.  We’d been so happy.

I dress for the day in all black, as it suits my mood.  The darkness of the color makes my skin look even paler, and accentuates the faint shine of the light on my dark hair.  I leave my hair loose, not wanting to bother with styling it, and, pulling on my simple slippers, walk to the door. I listen for a minute, but hear nothing in the hallway.  I wonder how long my brother stood outside last night, waiting for me.

Opening the door, I peek out and find it deserted.  While relieved for a second, I know I’m going to have to deal with my brother, and head toward his room.  The door stands partially open and I see him sitting on his bed, holding something in his lap. I move closer and he looks up, a pained expression on his face.

I get a better look at the object he’s holding and realize it’s Andraste’s sword.  I sit down next to him. “I think we need to talk, Lucis.”

He nods, running a hand over the hilt of her sword before setting it aside.  He reaches to his nightstand and grabs something before turning back to me. He takes my hand and drops the opal ring in my palm. 

“I was wrong to take this from you.  I’m sorry,” he says. “I thought about it last night, and how I would have felt if someone had taken Andraste’s things from me.  You are entitled to your memories, at least.”

I slip the ring back onto my ring finger, and feel a sense of relief at having it back.  “Just this? You weren’t wrong to take the other things?”

“I can’t lose you, Ferox.  I won’t.”

I grasp his hand, trying to keep down my own disgust and rage at what he has done.  “I want to understand, Brother. Please tell me why you would help Corypheus.”

“The world is dying; magic is dying.  You’ve seen it, felt it, I know. Fen’Harel has a plan that can save it.”

“The Dread Wolf?  How could you trust him after what he’s done to our family?” I ask.

“I don’t...not completely, but I trust his agenda.  Fen’Harel wants to raise the elves back to their former glory.  He plans to tear down the Veil.”

I gasp.  “But that would mean…”

“The death of most of the races of Thedas, yes.  But magic would return. The world wouldn’t end completely, and we would be protected here.  We would survive it and see the world born anew, the way things used to be so long ago. We could start over.  It’s what you’ve been working toward, isn’t it? Saving magic?”

I’m having a hard time catching my breath because I realize he’s right.  If he had come to me with this plan before I joined the Inquisition, I probably wouldn’t have had a second thought about going along with it.  The “filthy humans” as I’d called them wouldn’t have been a consideration at all. But that was before I knew them, remembered what it felt like to be among them, to care about them.

“You’re wrong, Lucis.  It doesn’t have to be that way. There’s another way - the dragons.  Cinder, the Sandy Howler I met in the Hissing Wastes will be an Ancient very soon.  We’ll see new magic born into the world for the first time in centuries.”

“Maybe I don’t want to save things as they are, Ferox.”  His expression goes cold. “The world has not changed since I last left it.  It’s time to start fresh.”

“You just don’t know them,” I protest.

“I saw them just fine with my own two eyes.  Liars, thieves, and betrayers, all of them. I know you want to trust them, but how long would you have before they turned on you?  When they grew afraid of your power or jealous of your youth and beauty, they would try to take it, just like the magisters. You know they would.”

“That’s why you’re doing this?  For me? I don’t want this.” I shake my head.

“No, not just for you.  For me, too...it hurts too much to live in this world.”

I sigh and squeeze his hand.  “It’s not too late to reconsider.  Come back, help the Inquisition stop Corypheus.”

“No, Ferox, my mind is made up.  I will not be swayed.”

I sit back in disappointment.  I had hoped my brother would listen to reason.  “Where is Etiam?”

“With Fen’Harel.”

“With the Inquisitor?”   


“No, Fen’Harel has left the Inquisition.  Etiam was helping him hide, but things became more difficult after Adamant.”

_ So that’s how he was doing it.  Etiam was using spirits to make people forget.  Damn it, both of them were working against us the whole time.  But Etiam usually goes along with the most probable outcome. Does that mean that the mortals are going to lose?  Not if I have anything to say about it. _

“I’m going to go see Tempestas.  I’ll see you for dinner?” I ask, a plan already forming in my mind.

He smiles, hesitant.  “I know you’re not happy about being here Ferox, but I’m glad you’re safe.  It will be alright in the end.”

_ The fuck it will. You want to murder everyone I care about, including our own brother.  I won’t let you do this. _

He frowns, picking up on my emotions in spite of my best efforts to hide it.  “You don’t have to approve. It’s already been set in motion; there’s no stopping it now.  I’ll see you later, Sister.”

He picks up the sword again, examining it, and I walk out, closing the door softly behind me.  I consider going for the Well, but I let it go for now.  _ Too risky; if I get caught, he’ll likely make sure I can’t ever use it again.  Bide your time, Ferox. _  I descend to the lower caverns and light the magic crystal with a tiny bit of power, being careful not to expend too much energy in my still-weakened state.

“Tempestas?” I call, and I’m happy to see that she’s awake.

**“Stormbringer, you have returned.”**  Her large head lowers, and I move to take my position on the wall so as not to tire her neck from looking down at me.  I say nothing for a while and neither does she, the two of is just sitting together in companionable silence.

Finally she looks away, into the darkness that holds the other generals.   **“Do you wish to talk about it?”** she asks, understanding me quite well after our many long years together.   **“It is about the brother again, is it not?”**

“Always, it seems,” I admit with a sigh.  “He’s gone too far this time; he's trapped me here.”

**“You wish to leave?”** the Ancient dragon asks, angling her head to look at me.

“Very much so.  I’m in love, and I’m going to be married,” I tell her, unable to keep the smile off my face, thinking about my loving dwarf back home.  He should still be on his way back from Adamant right now.

**“You’ve chosen a mate after all this time?”** she wonders.   **“Congratulations.”**

“If I can get back to him in time.”  My smile dies, and I think about Lucis’s plan.  “Lucis is trying to bring about the end of the world, at least for the mortals.  I can’t let that happen, Tempestas. I have to put a stop to this.”

**“I could take you,”** Tempestas suggests.

“I appreciate the offer, Tempestas, but we need travel magic to get out of the Fade.  My ring is gone, and it would take the four of us to create another. Lucis would never agree.”

**“You need the magic of three other beings, not necessarily your brothers.”**

My jaw drops.   _ I’d never thought of that. _  I beam at Tempestas, immediately nodding.  “Yes, let’s do it! When can you wake them?”

**“We should wait a few days, to avoid rousing suspicion,”** she says, and I swear I think I hear amusement in her voice.

I smile.   _ I’m going home to Varric. _  I close my eyes, savoring the thought for now, knowing I’m going to have to hide this feeling from Lucis.  I focus instead on thinking about how the spell  _ might _ not work, and how angry I am at him, instead.   _ Better.  Hold on to that. _

“Thank you, dearest friend.”

Tempestas just lowers her head in a nod.   **“Will I approve of this human?”** she asks.

“That’s just it, he’s not human.  He’s a dwarf - a handsome, romantic, heroic dwarf.”

**“You** ** _are_** **in love,”** she teases.

We talk for what feels like hours, and before I know it, it’s time to return to my brother for dinner as I’d promised.  I say farewell to my best friend, and put the walls of anger back up around my emotions, steeling my expression and remembering the pain that Corypheus’s dragon was experiencing.  Lucis did that; he’s responsible for its suffering. I remember Tenebris saying he stood with the Inquisition, standing up to our brother.  _ Me too, Tenebris.  Soon. _  I disconnect the magic to the light crystal and take the stairs back to the main hallway, where I know my brother awaits.


	64. Family Obsession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Family abuse/violence

Chapter 64:  Family Obsession

 

Dinner is a tense affair: Lucis and I sit at the formal table, barely speaking to one another, each of us looking down at our plates to avoid making eye contact.  I decide to test the waters.

“Brother…” I say, and he looks up at me, wary.

“Yes?” he answers, but adds nothing else.

“Would it be okay if we watch the Well after dinner?  Tempestas is resting again and I’m bored.”

He frowns, thinking about it.  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.  Better that you forget that life.”

“Please?  I’m not asking to leave, I just want to look.  Watch with me, like we used to.”

He sighs, but nods.  “Alright, if it will bring you peace.  Finish your dinner and we’ll go to the Well.”

I smile, genuinely relieved that he agreed to the request.  There’s no guarantee that I’ll see anything useful, but it would be good to know where the Inquisitor’s people are.  We finish our meal and afterwards we sit at the edge of the Well, as we had not that long ago.

I remember my hopes then that Lucis was returning from his grief.  Now I know that it was always hopeless. Lucis is drowning; but despite everything that’s happened, I still love my brother, and I wish I could get through to him.  I put my hand on his, sending all my feelings to him. He jumps at my touch, his eyes moving up to meet mine, and I’m surprised to find the wetness of tears on my face.

“I told you this was a bad idea,” he says.

I shake my head.  “I’m not crying for me.  I’m crying for _you.”_   _Surprising enough, but it’s true.  I still want better for him than this._

“You’re crying for _me?”_ he repeats, sadness mixing with anger on his face.  

His words are all it takes and I’m crying in earnest.  He looks confused, uncertain what to do. I throw my arms around him, and he holds me awkwardly.  “Please Lucis, don’t do this. I’m begging you, please.”

“Ferox,” he groans out, pain distorting his voice, and he gently pushes me away from him.  “I can’t...” He stands and walks away, back down the hall, leaving me alone with the Well.

I wipe the tears from my eyes.   _Please listen, Brother.  I don’t know if you can come back from what you’re doing._  Still, I’m not about to pass up this opportunity.

Sitting by the water’s edge, I connect the magic to the Well and allow the images to shine in the shimmering surface.  Sadly, it’s not Declan that I see, but a group of red templars. _What are they up to?_  I lean closer trying to make out the details of what’s happening.  They’re spreading out, searching the wilderness. I listen in, trying to catch what they’re saying.  

When I do, I wish I hadn’t.  The Temple of Mythal. I know the place, Mythal having been a good friend of mine in the early years.   _It’s in the Arbor Wilds, and where the Well of Sorrows is hidden._  It’s not in the area they’re looking, of course, but it won’t take them too much more effort to find it. _I need to alert the others._  I already have the magic connected, it would be easy to call out and make contact.  I look down the hallway. Lucis could be back at any minute. _Patience, Ferox._  

I’m glad I decided to wait, as Lucis returns quickly.  He’s changed for bed, and he looks so young and innocent.  He walks over to me and gently puts his arm around me. “I’m sorry about before, Ferox,” he says. “Know that your unhappiness hurts me too.  Etiam will be home soon, and things will get better.”

I allow him to embrace me, but my heart is still elsewhere, worrying about Corypheus’s operatives in the Arbor Wilds.  This back and forth with Lucis is so confusing, tearing at my emotions. “How is Etiam?” I ask, attempting to change the subject so as to keep my guard up.  I move back from him.

“The same as always.  He does seem to be enjoying being back around Fen’Harel.”

I nod, as that makes sense.  Before the Veil, spirits had roamed freely among the mortal races.  Fen’Harel and my brother often sought their company and wisdom together.  Similarly, Mythal and I had spent time with dragons. For the dozenth time, I wonder what my old elven friend has been doing.

“Have you heard anything from Mythal?” I ask.

He looks surprised at the question.  “No,” he answers with a shake of his head.  “I assumed if she was nearby you would have been the first person she contacted.  She hasn’t reached out to you?”

I shake my head.  “I don’t know that we can trust the elven gods, Brother.  It’s been a long time since we were friends with them - and I certainly don’t trust the Trickster.”

“It doesn’t matter if I trust him or not.  The conclusion is the same. You saw the red lyrium; the magic of the world is dying.  If it isn’t Corypheus or Fen’Harel’s plan, then the slow corruption of lyrium alone will end it.”  He goes quiet, thoughtful, as though he wants to say more, but doesn’t.

I look back down at the water, and see the empress talking with one of her advisors.  It makes me think about the ball at the Winter Palace. I can almost feel the sensation of running through the garden in the rain, my heart racing as I confessed my feelings to Varric in a darkened alcove, and hearing that he felt the same.  The memory makes me smile.

The scene in the Well changes, and there he is.   _Varric._ He’s standing in the sand, guiding his horse by the reins, walking in front of it.  He looks up at the sky, and I see Hawke moving to stand next to him, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder.   _They’re together, then.  Don’t forget your promise, Hawke._

I instinctively scoot closer, excited to see what they are saying and immediately regret the action, as I’m pulled away by my brother.  His hand is rough on my arm and he yanks me up to a standing position and glares at me.

“You’d rather be there, wouldn’t you?” he accuses, letting go of my arm.  “Even though you know they’re all doomed and there’s no saving them. You’d rather be with them than me.”

I suck in air.  “You’re the only one making me choose.  You can’t tell me how to feel, Lucis. I told him forever, and I meant it.”

A grimace twists his features and I feel the ground trembling.  I know what’s coming, and I watch with crushing disappointment as solid roots spread outward into spiked branches that smash through the Watcher’s Well, destroying the ancient device we’ve used for a millennium.  

The glowing water escapes its confines, splashing across the floor, soaking our feet and ankles in a wash of sparkling light before fading; but most of it drains down past the roots into the chambers below.  I lower my head, trying to control my own temper. I’d known he would do this eventually, I’d just hoped I would have had a chance to tell the others about the temple first, and warn them about my brothers’ involvement with Corypheus and Fen’Harel.

The vines and branches twist back down into the stone of the floor and I look up to see Lucis’s expression.  He seems torn between anger and sadness. “Nothing will come of tying yourself to that world. There is nothing but death for you there.  Not just that of your dwarf and the humans, but yours, too, if you go back.”

I say nothing, but sweep past him, my chin held high, and head for my room.

“Ferox,” he calls quietly behind me, pleading, but I ignore him and keep going, shutting and locking the door to my room once I enter.

 _I need to get out of here.  Thank the stars for Tempestas and her brilliant idea, or I might really be losing hope right now._  I try to remember the components for the travel spell that we had performed so long ago.  It wasn’t complicated, it just required a lot of power. _Just a little longer._  I look down at the ring Varric gave me, knowing it would be the easiest vessel to use for the spell, the easiest to hide from Lucis if need be, as he knows I wear it.

For the next few days I’m more careful and I choose to ignore my brother completely, eating my meals in my room.  I spend a short time each day conversing with Tempestas about unrelated topics, as I’m fairly certain my brother is following me.

On the fifth day he confirms my suspicion by waiting for me in the main hall when I emerge from the lower chambers.

“Eat dinner with me,” he requests.  “Etiam still isn’t back yet, and it’s so quiet.”

I purse my lips, ready to say no, when he speaks again.

“I miss you,” he admits.

 _This might be my chance,_ I realize.  If I can lull him into a sense of security again, he might let down his guard and I can get Tempestas to wake the other two dragons.

“Alright, Brother.”

He expels a breath of relief.  Looking at him, I can tell he hasn’t sleep well for a few days, the dark circles marring his handsome face.   _He’s not completely unaffected by what’s happening._

We head to the dining room and sit across the narrow table from one another.  It’s awkward again, and I don’t know what topics to bring up with him. I assume it’s the same for him, and we sit for a while in silence.   _So much for dinner together helping with the quiet._  

He glances up from his plate, his pale blue eyes meeting my own darker blue ones.  “Thank you for agreeing to this,” he says finally.

I nod.  “How have you been spending your days?” I ask, attempting conversation.

“This afternoon I napped, and took a trip to the Fade,” he says, smiling a little.  “I was looking for Etiam, but I didn’t find him. I found something wholly more interesting, instead.”

“What’s that?” I question.

“I came upon a field of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen  - more colorful than any flowers could be in real life. I laid down upon them, and that’s when I heard the song.  I looked around for the source, and _stars,_ Ferox, it reminded me so much of Andraste’s voice.  Of course, it wasn’t, but it was still something good.”

“Go on,” I encourage.

“It was Draconis.”

“Draconis?!” I exclaim leaning in.  Draconis had been another one of our generals, but unlike Razikale and Lusacan, who were still left buried in the earth, we didn’t know what had happened to her.  We presumed her dead, but if what Lucis is saying is true…

“I heard her song, _below_ me.  It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced.”

“Do you suppose it means Draconis lives?”

“When the Veil comes down, we’ll find out,” he says smiling, but my humor falls flat.

 _Right, when the Veil comes down, our generals can be freed, so long as we keep them far from the red lyrium and the darkspawn.  Keeping the Veil means sacrificing two, possibly three Ancient dragons._  I place a hand on my chest, thinking of Toth, and how she suffered before her death, the Blight eating away at her and driving her mad.  I want to help the generals, but the cost is too high. _I’m sorry Draconis, Razikale, Lusacan.  You might be called the Forgotten Ones, but I remember.  I will always remember._  

We finish our meal, and clean up.  Afterwards, Lucis lingers.

“Is there something you wanted, Brother?” I ask.

“I’m finding I can’t sleep.  Will you stay with me?”

 _In his room...where my things likely are._  I had looked, of course, as best I could with him always hovering, but I hadn’t been able to find my ring or my pendant.   _The pendant is useless now anyway, but if I could manage to get to my ring...or_ his _for that matter, I won’t need to do the spell._

“Okay,” I agree.

“Really?” he says with a smile.  “I’m hoping the two of us can go back to that place together tonight, and I can show you the song.”

“I’d like that,” I comment, although I have no plans to travel the Fade this evening.   _I want nothing more than to escape._  The plan solidifies in my head.  Lucis is exhausted, if he feels comfortable enough to sleep, he’ll sleep deeply.   _I can do this._

“Go and change, and join me there?” He suggests.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I reply.  I go back to my room and quickly throw a few things in a bag.  If I’m joining Varric in the field, I’m going to need a few supplies.  I tuck the bag into the back of my closet, out of sight, and change into clothing suitable for sleeping, a long sleeveless tunic and loose-fitting pants.

Knocking on my brother’s door feels strange, and stranger still when he opens it.  I remember centuries of trying to reach out to Lucis and getting no further than his closed door.  He smiles, and a part of me is happy that he’s glad to see me, even though I know I’m about to betray his trust.

I enter his room, and take a seat on the bed.  Though it’s still somewhat early, the interior of the room is dim.  Lucis has foregone the magic crystal similar to the one down in the generals’ cavern, and lit the room by a single candle, instead.

I’ve slept next to my twin more times than I can count, and yet this time, I feel apprehensive.  He goes first, getting underneath the covers, then extends his hand toward me in a gesture so familiar it makes my heart ache.  I nod, accepting, and after blowing out the candle I settle in close to him, facing him. He pulls me close, hugging me against his chest.

“Thank you,” he whispers against my hair.  “You really are the most precious thing in the world to me, the best of all of us.”

“Rest, Brother,” I tell him quietly, moving back to my own side of the bed, but holding his hand.

“Yes,” he mutters, sleep already starting to claim him.  “We can talk more later.”

I wait for some time, listening to the even sound of his breathing before I dare move.  He’s not wearing his ring, meaning he’s likely hidden it along with mine. I gently ease away from him and stand in the darkened chamber, lit only by the crack of light coming in from underneath the doorway.  I leave it, as I dare not light the candle or anything else for fear of waking him.

His even breathing tells me that he’s still sleeping, and I creep over to the nightstand.   _Nothing here_ I realize after a few minutes of rummaging.   _Where would he keep it?  Somewhere I wouldn’t look, but wouldn’t be too difficult to access._  I check his closet, but find nothing.  Finally, it dawns on me: Andraste’s sword.  I check the pommel, and sure enough, it comes open.   _Clever._ Two small objects fall out, landing on the floor with soft clinking noises.  I hold my breath, expecting Lucis to wake, but his breathing remains steady.

I return the pommel and set the sword aside carefully, kneeling on the ground to search for the rings on the floor in the darkened room.  I reach out, patting the floor, when my hand finds something I didn’t expect: a foot.

Alarm shoots through me and I look up at his accusing eyes in the darkness.  His scowl returns, the same expression he had when he’d destroyed the Watcher’s Well.

“Sleep,” he commands, and I feel the spell settle over me.  

“No,” I protest, fighting against it, moving to grab one of the rings, his by the size of it in my hand and I move to get up.  I manage to stand, but my legs betray me, collapsing underneath me, the ring falling out of my hand as I move to brace myself from the fall.

 _“Sleep,”_ he insists, and again the wave of weakness hits me.

“No!” I cry, my movements sluggish, and I try to crawl, knowing I can’t stand.  My hand touches the door before my strength gives out and I collapse.

I feel him pick me up, hear his voice close to my head, “I’ve told you it’s suicide to go back, and yet you insist.  Very well, Ferox, you leave me with no choice. Perhaps more time is what you need. We can speak more when you awaken.”

He lays me back down on the bed, and I don’t have the strength to move.  Tears form in my eyes and trickle over my face down onto the pillow. “Brother, please,” I beg.

“Sleep,” he says once more, and I know nothing after that for a long time.


	65. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: The final chapter of family stuff for a minute (the title alone should tell you that it gets better, lol).

Chapter 65: Escape

 

Something tickles at the fringes of my awareness. _  What is that?  Loud voices, raised in anger...familiar voices.  My brothers. Brothers, as in more than one. Something is off about that.   _

My eyes open to an unfamiliar darkness.   _ Where am I? _  My vision quickly adjust to the dim lighting and I recognize that I’m still in Lucis’s room.  I remember trying to get the rings, and our fight, and finally his sleep spells. I should have anticipated that trick, been ready for it.

“I already told you, Tenebris, Ferox is not well,” Lucis explains, his muffled voice sounding from the hallway.   _ Tenebris! _

“Then what happened to the Well, you bastard?!” Tenebris accuses.

“Lucis has explained that it was an accident,” Etiam states, and I realize that he has returned, as well.

“Let me see her for myself!” Tenebris insists.  “Let me check on her, and if it is as you say, I’ll go.”

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and move to stand up.   _ How long have I been out this time? _  I get to my feet, but feel the dizziness rising, and my stomach gives a lurch.  I barely make it to the chamber pot before vomiting. Once my stomach is emptied, a feel a little better, but I still feel shaky.

“Open the damned door, Lucis.  Or I’m going through you.”

I try to call out to Tenebris, but my voice is raspy from being ill just now, and I doubt that he could hear it.  I stumble more than walk to the door and put my hand on the knob to open it. The light from the hallway spills into the room, blinding me for a moment until my eyes adjust again, and I lean on the door frame for support.

Lucis turns to look as the door opens behind him, and grimaces when he sees my expression.  Tenebris’s face is much softer, eyeing me with concern.

“Are you alright, imp?” Tenebris asks.

I shake my head slowly, not wanting to stir up the nausea or dizziness again.  I take a few steps toward him, but my legs wobble underneath me and I sink to my knees instead.   _ Damn this weakness to the Void.  Is this because of Lucis’s sleep spell? _

“I told you she isn’t up to visitors,” Lucis says, and bends to scoop me up again.  I croak a protest, but he’s already murmuring to me, “Don’t try to speak yet; I promise we can talk later, just sleep, Sister.”

My eyes flick to Tenebris, unable to make myself understood, but I already feel the warm pull of Lucis’s spell.   _ Damn it, no! _

“What’s wrong with her?” Etiam asks.

“She used the ring a fifth time and it nearly killed her,” Lucis explains.  “Let me get her settled and we’ll discuss it.”

Etiam comes into the room with Lucis, with Tenebris standing in the doorway.  Both of my other brothers seem at a loss as to what to do. Lucis tucks me back into bed, and I do my best to glare at him through the power of the spell.  He mouths the words “I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

_ Not a chance.  I already forgave you once for something I shouldn’t have out of love and concern for you.  This is too far.  _

I shake my head - well, as best I’m able, anyway - before the weariness takes over me and I close my eyes again.   _ I’ll never forgive you for this. _

* * *

Tenebris is gone by the time I wake, of course, and Lucis is by my bedside, wringing his hands.  I sit up, pulling the covers around me in a protective motion, waiting for him to do something again.  I gather my magic to me in a barrier, prepared to fend him off if necessary. I feel none of the weakness or nausea from before, just rested.

“I’m sorry, Ferox,” he says.  “I know you must be angry.”

“Angry doesn’t even cover it.  I  _ hate _ you right now.”  I narrow my eyes.

His mouth falls open at my statement.

_ “How long _ , Lucis?”

Guilt twists his features, but he says nothing.

“Damn it, Lucis...how long did you keep me asleep for?”

“Only a few hours this time, but before...another week.”   


“Let me up or I swear I will burn this bed with me in it,” I warn him.

He moves to let me stand, and when I get to my feet, I feel good, solid.   _ It must only be when he’s kept me under for too long.  Tonight, _ I promise myself.   _ I’ll go to Tempestas and beg her to do the spell tonight.  I can’t afford to wait any longer.  _ I try to add up the time, and realize it’s been nearly three weeks since Lucis brought me here.   _ The Well of Sorrows...did Corypheus find it already? _

I take a few steps before his hand falls on my arm.  I shake it off. “Don’t fucking touch me,” I bite out, my tone as chilly as when I embrace the cold, although I haven’t.  “If you try to use that spell again _ , Brother, _ you’d better be prepared for a fight.”

“Ferox, I’m sorry, I just…”  He recoils, taking a step backwards, worrying his lip in a sign of some deeper emotion, but Lucis’s feelings aren’t my problem right now.  My walls of anger are firmly up around me, and I decide to leave them there. I don’t need our twin connection confusing things for me.

I start walking toward the door, turning one last time.  “Stay away from me.” I slam the door open, enjoying the sound of it crashing against the wall, and take the short walk to my own bedroom.  

Closing and locking the door behind me, however, that confidence is broken and a sob escapes me.   _ How could he have done that to me?  My own brother… _

The tears end after a minute or two, and anger settles back in.  It’s easier to deal with the rage than to face my sadness at the betrayal.  Etiam I could understand. Wanting to free spirits from the Fade, having Fen’Harel’s friendship back...those motivations make sense, I suppose.   _ Hm, I wonder if I could convince Etiam? _  Etiam looks at the world in analytical terms, weighing the probabilities of success.  He’d seemed genuinely surprised at my illness, which makes me believe that he has no idea that Lucis has been using magic to keep me asleep.   _ I don’t want to risk my window of opportunity, though.  Approaching Etiam, if it doesn’t work, will give me away. _

Getting to the ring is an impossibility at this point.  I’m sure Lucis has moved it by now, and would never give me the luxury of searching again.   _ No, if I’m getting out of here, there’s only one way:  the dragons.  _ I feel a little better about the idea, trusting the generals more than I would trust either Lucis or Etiam at the moment - I mean, after all, I’m  _ Dragon Girl. _

I check my closet and find that the bag I had packed earlier is still there.   _ Apparently Lucis didn’t bother going through my room. _  I check the contents, and nothing appears to have been moved, supporting the conclusion.  

I gather the spell components: six crystals, clear in color to store the energies needed, and a small pouch of sand to represent time.  It’s not a complicated spell, it just requires multiple types of magic and more power than one mage could summon on her own.  _ This is going to work.   _ I smile to myself, thinking about seeing Varric again.  The idea makes me a little sad, however, knowing that he’s been worried about me, and Tenebris probably reported back about my “poor health”.   _ Damn you, Lucis, you don’t get to make decisions about my life that way. _

I forego dinner, not wanting to even see my brothers again.  Lucis knocks several times on the door, but I refuse to answer.  After a while, he gives up and goes away, saying he’s leaving a plate of food outside the door.   _ Good, go away.   _ I wait until I hear his footsteps retreat back down the hallway before I unlock the door and open it a crack.  I move the plate inside, but don’t eat any of the food, not trusting that my brother hasn’t tampered with it.

Night falls and I sneak through the darkened corridor, holding my bag steady so as long to allow any of the objects to make noise as they bump against one another.  I’m dressed in purple armor, the bright orchid color of lightning magic, with white accents and elaborate embroidery that adorn the fabric, swirling circular patterns in silver thread.  It’s one of my favorites, of course.

My feet, covered in soft boots, make no sound as I carefully slink down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the dragons’ chamber.  I light the crystal, but keep the lighting dim.

“Tempestas, I’m here, but keep it low,” I whisper.  “I need your help, and it needs to be tonight.”

**“Ferox,”** she greets, her voice a low rumble, but quieter than usual.   **“You have not visited in days, I was worried.”**

“More brother problems, which is why we need to wake the others and do the spell tonight,” I tell her.  “I can’t stay here any longer.”

Tempestas exhaled, the breath sounding like the rush of wind before a rainstorm.   **“Then I will come with you, when you go.”**

“Thank you, dearest friend.  You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that right now.”

She moved from her area, stretching her thick, powerful legs and we walked together.  The others we need will be fairly far down the underground chamber.  **“What has Lucis done, small one?”**

“Every day that I have not visited you since my return is because he has been spelling me into magical sleep to keep me from leaving the City.”

Tempestas growled,  **“I will eat him for his insolence.”**

I sigh, and shake my head.  “He was wrong, yes, but I think he’s sick, Tempestas.  He can’t see a way to have a future in the world the way it is; he believes destroying it all and starting over is the only option.”

**“He never healed after losing his mate,”** Tempestas says, glancing away from me.   **“It was a tragedy, yes, but he allowed it to eat away the light inside of him, leaving only darkness.”**

“I fear you may be right,” I reply, nodding my agreement.  I look at the separate areas for each of the dragons, no more than a stall or pen, really, but with enough space that they can sprawl out a little and get comfortable for their long sleep.  Usually only one, sometimes two of the generals are awake at any given time.

Tempestas and I stop in front of one of the pens, and I recognize the blue scales of Mirage, one of Etiam’s dragons.  She is the dragon of illusion, and, if she agrees, will stand in for Etiam in our ritual. Ice dragons are by nature shorter and stockier than lightning ones, and their heads are wider, but her scales shine with a pale blue light even as she sleeps.   _ She’s lovely. _

I step back, and Tempestas approaches Mirage.  She inhales deeply, and when she exhales, I see the shimmer of magic in her breath.   **“Wake, Mirage,”** she calls, the magic washing over the sleeping dragon.  I see Mirage’s breathing deepen, and a wash of cold rushes across the floor of the cavern, chilling my feet.

The sturdy dragon shakes her head, making a sound that falls between a yawn and a growl.   _ Sleepy dragons are cute _ , I think, amused.  “Good morning, Mirage.”

**“Tempestas?”** she wonders, blinking at the other dragon, and I realize she’s confused, having been awakened out of order.  She and Tempestas probably haven’t seen one another in a few hundred years, at least.

**“The Stormbringer requests your assistance with a spell,”** Tempestas explains, and Mirage, the younger of the two, snaps to attention immediately.

**“Of course, Destroyer,”** she says, and I smile at her reassuringly.

“Thank you, Mirage, your help is appreciated.  It will also be a chance to see some of the others you haven’t seen lately.”

**“Who else?”** Mirage questions, her head tilting in curiosity.

Tempestas looks at me for the answer.  

“We need Vita,” I tell both of them.

**“Are you certain?”** Tempestas asks. **“The dragon of creation is loyal to your brother; waking her could alert him.”**

“We need her power.” I’d thought carefully about which dragons to choose.  There are six types of power needed for the spell: lightning, fire, cold, spirit, life, and death.  My brothers and I could have done all six ourselves, but my power to use creation magic is limited, and the dragons can only use one type each at a time.  Which means I’m going to have to take Tenebris’s place by using blood magic, as well as covering the fire and cold. I can’t handle the life domain, too, and I need a dragon who can bring a lot of magic to the table to make this work, to compensate for me splitting my own abilities.  

I still have the lyrium potion I’d had at Adamant; of course it’s older now, the components likely losing some of their potency during that time.  Still, it should give me a little extra boost to be able to sustain the magic long enough to complete the ritual.

The two dragons and I make our way to Vita’s chamber.  She’s a fire dragon, and larger than Tempestas or Mirage; but special, in that the red of her flames is countered in several sections by the green glow of creation magic.  The world has not seen her like since. Vita and Lucis were very close when we were younger. I wonder what their relationship has been like since Andraste. He hasn’t mentioned her, not once.

Mirage does the waking this time, exhaling a pale blue cloud of magic into the chamber.  Vita stirs. She raises her graceful head, and the scent of wildflowers follows her.  **“Twin of Lucis?”** she asks groggily.   **“Why do you have Tempestas and Mirage with you?  Is it time for the generals to return?”**

“Not yet, old friend.  I’m afraid I need your help with something.  A magic ritual.”

**“Magic?  Why is Lucis not with you, then?”** she asks suspiciously.

I take a deep breath, the tightness returning to my chest when I think about my brother.  “Vita, when is the last time you spoke with Lucis?”

She thinks it over.   **“Before my last sleep, it had been...three hundred years or so.”**

“Vita, you’ve been asleep for another two hundred since then.  He’s different...I think he’s going mad.”

**“Then why don’t you** **_help_ ** **him?”** she asks, getting defensive.   _ Maybe using Lucis’s dragon wasn’t the best idea. _

“I tried; I took him with me, tried to give him a new purpose, tried to help him learn to love the world and humans again...but he’s decided that ending and letting them all die is easier.  I can’t let him do that.”

**“No…”**  Vita replied.   **“He wishes death upon the humans?  But the reason he pulled away from the world was to spare them.  He loved them that much.”**

“I know.  I held out hope that he could recover, but now he’s been holding me hostage here against my will.  I need your help to leave. I don’t want to have to hurt him, but I can’t stay here anymore. I’m going to save them all.”

Tempestas turns her head toward me.   **“Vita, Ferox is in love.”**

She looks surprised.   **“You?  Truly? You do seem different. Calmer.”**

“My dwarf is good for me.  He’s a big part of the reason I need to go back.  Please help me.”

Mirage steps forward.   **“Why did Etiam not help with Lucis?”**

I sigh.  “Because Etiam is on his side.  They’re working with the elven god, Fen’Harel.”

Mirage nodded her massive head bobbing.   **“If your wish is only to leave, and you do not wish us to harm them, I will help you,”** she says.

**“As will I,”** Vita agrees.   **“Though after, I will seek out Lucis for myself and determine if what you say is true.”**

“If you can help him, please do.  I haven’t been able to get through to him.  I think he fears losing me, and feeling the pain of loss again like he did when Andraste died.  But I’m not going to die. I’m going to win, to rise triumphant over our enemies,  _ and _ save the world.”

**“And I will be at your side,”** Tempestas vowed.

**“You’re leaving, Tempestas?  What about the Blight?”** Mirage asked.

**“For the Stormbringer, and the sake of her love, I will risk it.”**

I smile.  “Thank you dearest Tempestas.  Thank you all. Let’s do the ritual.”

* * *

The six crystals are arranged in a circle around the pile of fine, white sand.  I’ve buried my opal ring underneath, although it makes me nervous to use something so precious for the spell.  We stand in a large circle, as well, facing our respective crystals. I drink the lyrium potion and feel the light intoxicating influence rush through me.   _ I’m ready. _

“Cleansing flame, sacred fire, I call upon you,” I say, allowing my fire magic to light the first crystal with an orange-red glow.  I feel Toth move a little, but I ignore it. Tempestas goes next.

**“Dark clouds gather, ferocity of the storm, I call up on you,”** she says, reciting her part of the ritual.  Lightning magic illuminates her crystal, vibrant orchid in color.

It’s my turn again.  “Chilling cold, frozen and stoic, I call upon you,” I chant, feeling the small numbing of emotions that comes along with using the cold.  My crystal lights with a bright blue-white radiance, near blinding. I smile.

**“Spirits of the Fade, truth and purpose, I call upon you,”** Mirage calls, and her crystal lights with an olive green not unlike the sky in the Fade.

**“Light of creation, purity of nature, I call upon you,”** Vita states, her crystal glowing green-white, just as bright as my cold one had been.  The faint smell of fresh grass follows.

_ Last one...please work. _  I make a small cut on my hand and let the blood drip.  “Blood of my body, intent of my mind, I call upon you.”  The blood droplets rush forward toward the crystal, and it lights with a red light, surrounded by a black aura.   _ So far so good.   _ “Our hearts, minds, and spirits combine in one purpose, just as all places connect.  Use our shared intent to forge the Way.” A wave of magic erupts from the circle of crystals, shattering them.  It blows the sand away, scattering it, revealing my ring below, glowing white. I shield my eyes against the pulsing magic, step forward, and claim it.  It’s cool to the touch, and I feel the power.  _ It worked. _

I slip the ring back on my finger and notice the sparkling colors underneath seem a bit brighter now.   _ Varric.  I’m coming home.   _ I remember that when we first made them, the rings were fully charged.  I don’t want to assume that’s the case now, but one trip should still work, even with bringing a dragon along.

“Thank you all,” I say, repeating what I said before.  “I couldn’t have done this without your help.”

**“Ferox, we should be away.  We will probably need to fly,”** Tempestas tells me.

_ Dragon riding. _  I grin, and nod emphatically.  “I understand. Are you alright having a rider, then?”

In response, she lowers her leg to the side, allowing me to climb up to her neck.  There’s a small section right behind her head with shorter spikes. I sit right behind them, looping one leg over as though riding sidesaddle, and hold on tightly.

Footsteps sound in the chamber.  “Ferox!” Lucis calls, running toward us.

“Goodbye, Brother,” I say with a sad smile before giving my new ring a twist, and experience the satisfying sensation of seeing the cavern blur away.


	66. The Maker's Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting has become a little slower lately (not an apology, just a fact). I'm still writing, but other projects have been taking more time. No worries, though, I'm not abandoning my feisty goddess and her hero.

Chapter 66: The Maker’s Will

 

Nothing compares to the feeling of flying.  I’ve watched birds my whole life, jealously observing how they flap their wings to gain momentum, they way they swoop and dive.  Tempestas shows me all of it. It’s not long before I’m calling out in excitement, punctuated with short bouts of laughter, which Tempestas joins in on as well.   _ This is the ultimate freedom. _  My new travel ring brought us to the skies of the Ferelden Frostbacks, and now head toward Skyhold.

I revel not just in the chill air of the sky, or the beautiful view just under the clouds of the setting sun on the horizon, but also my escape from Lucis.  I hope that Vita is able to get through to him. His face as we were leaving was full of pain, not anger. But I’m free of him for now, free to return to Varric and the life I have chosen for myself.

I spot the lights of Skyhold, standing proudly out of the snowy mountains surrounding it.   _ Home. _  The bulk of the Inquisition’s forces are just returning, many of them on foot.  Tempestas and I look for an area to settle. As we get lower I hear people crying out and see them looking upward at us, but Tenebris rushes to the front of the group, and, pointing at me, shouts commands not to attack.

Tempestas sets down with a crackle of thunder, and the resounding tremor through the earth, as well.  She folds her wings tightly against her side and extends her leg for me to get back down. 

“Thank you for showing me that, dearest friend,” I tell her.

She gives a small nod of her head.

I descend and find myself staring at a sea of people.  The faces read a mixture of emotions: fear, hope, and for some, friendly recognition.  Tenebris and Cullen are in the front of the group, and from behind them, steps the face I want to see more than any of them.  I take a few steps toward him that quickly turn into a full-out sprint into his open arms. Varric manages to catch me in his strong arms, lifting me up before slowly setting back down, and greeting me with a kiss.

“You  _ did _ know how to make an entrance, Sister,” Tenebris teases, but I’m a little busy happily looking at my dwarf.

“You’re alright,” Varric states, as though it was in question.  I remember Lucis’s story that I was still ill from the ring’s magical drain.

“Yes,” I reply.

**“No thanks to the twin,”** Tempestas comments. **“I still say I should have eaten him, Ferox.”**

“What?!” Tenebris exclaims.  “What did Lucis do?”

Varric is staring wide-eyed at Tempestas.  “Uh...please tell me everyone else understood that too and I’m not just losing my shit.”

**“Yes, I can speak the common tongue.  Hello, mate of the Stormbringer,”** Tempestas says with a laugh, the rumble causing purple light to flare under her glistening scales.   **“I have been looking forward to meeting you.”**

I smile.  “Varric, this is Tempestas, the Ancient dragon of lightning - my best friend.”

“That thing is an Old God?” a voice asks from the other side, and I look over to see Cullen is the one who spoke, his jaw slightly slack before he notices and closes it.

I grin.  “Technically,  _ I’m  _ the god, but yes.  And she understands you just fine, so you can address her directly.”

“Sorry,” he quickly mutters, trying to find his composure.  “I’ve never spoken with a dragon before.”

**“I should expect not,”** Tempestas acknowledges graciously.   **“I take no offense.  Those of us who can speak your language have kept ourselves away for a long time.  Too long, it seems.”**

“You didn’t answer my question,” Tenebris states.  “What did Lucis  _ do? _  I was just there, you were ill.”

I shake my head.  “No, I wasn’t. But perhaps we should discuss this in private.”  I look to Tempestas, and then to Cullen. “Um, Cullen?” I ask pointedly, gesturing toward Tempestas.  “Where should my friend stay?”   


“I…” he starts, clearly still at a loss.  

Thankfully, Declan has made his way to us, and I see Dorian with him.  I’d wondered when I hadn’t seen him with Tenebris.

“Dragon Girl,” Declan says, smiling, and I go to greet both of them. I’m surprised when each of them pulls me into a hug, one after the other.

I exhale.  “It’s so good to see both of you.”

“That’s supposed to be our line, Ferox,” Declan protests with a smile.  “It sounds as though we’re going to need to have a meeting. And here I was looking forward to a soft bed at last.”

“Sorry, Declan, but I have a lot of information you’re going to want to know,” I confirm, nodding.  “Oh, introductions. This is Tempestas, my best friend, and an Ancient dragon. Tempestas, this is Declan Trevelyan, the Inquisitor, and our dear friend, Dorian Pavus.”

**“A pleasure,”** Tempestas states, with a small dip of her head.   **“But I’m staying for your meeting, Ferox.”**

I look at her, and nod.  “Alright.” I turn to Declan.  “Where can we meet with a little privacy, but where Tempestas would fit?”

He smiles.  “There’s a clearing just up the hill from here that should suffice.  Let me find Leliana and Josephine.”

“You’re going to want Morrigan for this, as well,” I tell him, thinking about Mythal.  It seems that Morrigan is as of yet unaware of her mother’s special role, but she’ll want to hear what I have to say about the temple, no doubt, and would likely appreciate meeting another Old God.

The rest of the crowd keeps moving, but Tempestas, Cullen, my brother and I make our way to the clearing in question and wait on the others.  I’m happy to see Dorian staying by Tenebris. Varric, while not technically invited to the meeting either, doesn’t leave my side, but I would have balked at separating from him so soon anyway.  Holding his hand again feels amazing. For the hundredth time, I find myself meeting his eyes and it’s a struggle not to get lost in their amber depths.

“I didn’t see Hawke down there,” I point out, in an attempt to concentrate.

“Yeah, he told me about the promise he made to you in the Fade.  He headed north, toward the coast to go look for her.”

“So he didn’t have any after effects from the magic going wrong, then,” I conclude, sighing in relief.  “Good.”

He frowns, and I can tell he’s struggling with something.  “Not that I’m not grateful you did, but why would you go back for him?”

I pause, and have a hard time looking him in the eye.  “I did it for you. I couldn’t stand to see your unhappiness, not when I had the power to change it.”

“Firefly…” he responds.

“I’m sorry.  I know I shouldn’t have, but if I had it to do over, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done it again.  But we’re together again now, that’s what matters. I promise I’ll answer any questions you have later, Love.”

He sighs, and squeezes my hand, but then looks down in surprise.  “Where’s your other ring?”

“I’ll explain everything when the others get here.  But the short answer is, I had to make a new one.” I wiggle my fingers on my left hand, showing off the ring he gave me, and that does make him smile.

Tempestas settles down but doesn’t add anything, allowing us to have our conversation uninterrupted.  I’m grateful for my friend’s understanding.

Declan returns with Leliana, Josephine, and Morrigan.  Tenebris walks to stand on the other side of me, and pats my shoulder.  I give him a wistful smile.  _ I’m not really looking forward to explaining this all to them.  Look at their face...all three advisors are faithful Andrastians.  Morrigan won’t care, but my news isn’t going to go over well with the others. _

Morrigan watches Tempestas with a soft expression, one corner of her mouth turned upward.  If I didn’t know her better, I would almost call it awe. Of course, Morrigan had been pretty open about wanting to preserve the old magics - so much that she’d had Kieran to save Urthemiel.

“Greetings,” Morrigan says to her.

**“And to you, child,”** Tempestas answers, studying her.

Leliana and Josephine tread carefully around the dragon, eyes wide, which makes me laugh.  Tempestas laughs too, the magic rippling, and both women jump.

“Tempestas is with me. She won’t harm you,” I explain.

_ So many questions in their eyes. _  I take a deep breath.

Tenebris is the first to speak.  “Tell me what Lucis did, Ferox, so that I might know what I’m killing him for.”

**“The Darkness can kill him, and** **_then_ ** **I will digest him,”** Tempestas adds, the low growl of a chuckle coming again from her.

“We’re talking about the Maker, right?” Declan adds.  “Your brother, Lucis, is really the Maker?”

“Yes,” Tenebris and I say in unison, and I move my hand in a small wave, indicating I’ll be the one to take this line of questions.  “Once, in ancient Tevinter, all four of us were close with the humans. We met with them, guided them, taught them magic. Lucis had infinite patience and loved the world, and the people adored him in return.  He seemed to lack the temper that Tenebris and I were both cursed with, but everything changed when he fell in love with a mortal woman named Andraste.”

Leliana frowns at me.  “Yes, you told me you knew her.”

I nod.  “I did. She was...a little unstable, but she was a wonderful woman, and loved my brother very much.  Lucis decided that he wanted her to undergo the same ritual that extended our lifespans, to make her like us, so they could be together for eternity.”

“You are talking about immortality,” Leliana commented, her nose wrinkling; whether in worry, or disgust, I can’t tell.

“Is that how she rose to his side?” Josephine asks.

I shake my head.  “No, the ritual never happened.  It takes the power of all four of us together, and we were scattered all over the world then.  Lucis had to find each of us and bring us back together. By the time we all gathered, Andraste had already been betrayed, and we were too late.  We got there just in time to see her burn.”

“Andraste...just died?” Leliana asks, horrified at the concept.  “No holy fire that cleansed her, no ascending to be with the Maker?”

I shake my head.  “Your Chantry made up pretty lies to hide their guilt,” I tell her.  “Andraste was just a woman, and when she died, it broke my brother.”

Tenebris takes over. “We wanted to punish the ones responsible, wanted them to suffer.  But he wouldn’t let us: he cared too much for the humans. Still, he couldn’t bear his anger and grief and retreated from them, from the world, and from us.  We chose to support him, instead, pulling ourselves back to the Black City, as well.”

“Which is where we remained, until recently,” I state.  “His story was the only one that persisted, even if the Chantry got it wrong.  The rest of us were all but forgotten.”

“But you returned,” Cullen points out.  “We have a real way to know the Maker’s will.”

“More fanciful Chantry tales.  Lucis is not who you think he is. He’s changed.”  I take a deep breath, swallowing. “He...he’s done terrible things.  You would be better off not knowing what he wants.”

Tenebris stepped forward, sliding an arm around my shoulders.  “Whatever it is, whatever our brother has done, just say it. Say it all, imp.”

“Lucis is helping Corypheus.”  Gasps sound from all around me, but I keep going, increasing my volume.  “My brother is responsible for Corypheus having that dragon. He wants the world to end, and all of you with it.  That is the  _ Maker’s Will.” _

“The Maker was us _ dead?!”   _ Leliana cried out.  “No, I won’t believe it.”  

“Well, shit.  That’s a new one,” Varric comments in a dry tone.

“It’s worse than that.  Etiam is helping him, along with another god.”  

Tenebris’s eyes are shut, and his jaw ticks.  “That’s it, I’m going to kill the bastards. Let go of me, Ferox, I’m going.”

“Hear all of it first, Tenebris,” I beg.  “Please.”

Dorian nods.  “Listen to her, Amatus.”

He stills.  “There’s more?”

I nod.  “Do they know about Solas?” I ask.

“What about Solas?” Declan asks.  “He disappeared after Adamant, none of us knew what happened to him.”

**“Tricky elf,”** Tempestas comments with a huff.

“Solas isn’t what he presents himself to be, either.  He’s been hiding among you, the same as I first did. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier, but he was our friend when we were young.  We grew up together.”

“That’s right,” Josephine added, frowning.  “There was a feud of some kind between your families.  Why did I not remember that?”

Leliana looks at Josephine in confusion.  “I...had forgotten too.”

Tenebris sighs, understanding.  “Etiam’s work, I take it.”

I nod, and look at the others.  “Solas is a god - elven pantheon, obviously, not one of ours.  My brother Etiam used spirits to make you forget things, not notice either of them, but Solas is the Dread Wolf, Fen’Harel.”

I expect more cries of outrage, but I look around and all I see is silence.  No one will look me in the eye, except Cullen.

“Then we are doomed.  Our end is imminent, and our cause is impossible,” he says, hope leaving him.

‘No, it’s not!”  I shout. “Gods are powerful, yes, but you have two of us on your side.  I will not abandon you, you have my word.”

Leliana shook her head, her expression vague, “But to fight the very Maker himself…”

“I don’t know that it will come to that.  At least, I’m hoping it doesn’t. Fen’Harel’s plan is to raise up the elves again, return them to their former glory, just as the Dalish stories tell.  That’s what my brother is helping him do. They mean to tear down the Veil, to return spirits and magic to this world as it was before.”

“And I’m guessing that doesn’t end well for us,” Dorian comments wryly.

“No...the Nightmare demon is but one such entity that would be unleashed upon the world, and we know how powerful it is.  Some of you might survive, but it would mean the end of much as we know it.” 

“Failing to see how this helps us, Firefly,” Varric states quietly.

“I’m getting to that.  If the Dread Wolf could have done it alone, or even with my brothers’ help, they would have done it already.  He isn’t powerful enough yet.”

“He needs the orb Corypheus carries,” Declan states, realization dawning on him.  “The one that gave me the mark.”

“An orb gave you the mark?”  I ask, looking at him.

“I regained my memories in the Fade,” he states, looking at the glowing slash on his hand.  “Corypheus was using it, but dropped it and I touched it, that’s how it happened. It caused the explosion.”

I look at Tenebris.  “Fen’Harel means to use the orb, yes, that makes perfect sense.  The elven gods all had artifacts they used to store their power. After he slept, he was probably not strong enough to open it.   _ That’s _ why they’re using Corypheus.  The magister was never the real threat.  Without the others helping him, Corypheus  _ can _ be defeated.  And if we can keep them from getting their hands on the orb, we might be able to stop them from accomplishing what they plan.”

Morrigan, who has so far remained silent, looks at me with her bright eyes.  “Fen’Harel and your brother wish to bring back the old magics. I am surprised to hear you oppose this goal,” she observes.  “Given that you protect the soul of an Old God, I would have thought you would have been on their side.”

“I admit, I might have, once.  Before I came here, I was so removed from the world that I barely knew it anymore.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Tenebris corrects.  “You were the only one of us who still cared at all about the humans.  You spent a great deal of time watching them in the Watcher’s Well.”

“Yes, but it was mostly for my own amusement.  I never stepped in to help, not until the Inquisition started seeking out high dragons.  After I arrived things changed for me, for the better. I gained friends, helped to save dragons, and witnessed the old magics still here in this world.  I fell in love,” I say quietly, quickly nudging Varric. “I love this world, and I would not see it fall to ruin. No magic is worth that price.”

**“Tell them the rest, Stormbringer,”** Tempestas pushes. **“Tell them what Lucis did to you in the Black City.”**

I nod.  “Using the magic of my ring without a charge drained it, and me.  It was killing me. Lucis did help, he wasn’t lying about that. But after, I wanted to leave. He prevented it, saying that he was trying to protect me by keeping me away from the world that was ending.  He took my travel ring and my pendant, meaning I couldn’t communicate with Hawke or Tenebris.”

“We wondered when we didn’t hear from you.  Hawke tried every day for two weeks,” Varric says.

“Every time I tried to leave, he grew more and more angry.  He finally resorted to using magic to make me sleep.”

Tenebris clenched his jaw again.  “I was there, though, I saw you. You were ill.”

“I’m pretty sure that was a side effect of being asleep too long,” I tell him.

“How long did he have you under?” Tenebris asks, concern and anger mingling on his face.

“Of the three weeks I was gone, I was awake for about five or six days of it.”

Tenebris disappears.  

_ “Shit _ , why was no one holding on to him?” I ask, looking down at my ring.  “Damn it, Tenebris, I can’t go back there. It took the help of three ancient dragons to get me out.  If I go back, he’ll either trap me so I can’t ever leave, or I’ll end up killing him.”

“Seems to me Tenebris is already working on the latter,” Varric growls, “and I wish he’d taken me with him to help.”

**“I think I like your dwarf, Ferox.  But despite your bravery, you would stand no chance against a god, Child of the Stone.  Your death won’t help her.”**

Varric looks at me, pain written in his features.  “I hate this feeling. Bianca and I can usually handle anything we come across, but with you, Firefly, I’m forever out of my depth.  Do you have any idea how I felt when you were lying there screaming? I couldn’t do anything to help you. Then your brother took you away, and I didn’t even know if I would ever see you again…”

“I promise I’ll always come back for you, Varric, as long as we both live.  No matter what I have to do. If it comes to it...I’ll kill Lucis myself.”


	67. More

Chapter 67: More

 

I take another deep breath.  “There’s more, although of course Tenebris isn’t here to hear it now,” I say, and again, worried faces look at me.

“Firefly, I don’t know if this crowd has another ‘more’ in them today,” Varric comments.

“They’re going to want to hear this one.  I know what Corypheus is after in the Arbor Wilds.”

Declan’s eyes widen.  “Our spies just brought back word of their movements.  They said it looked like the red templars were searching for something near some old elven ruins.”

“Yes, they’re looking for the Temple of Mythal,” I tell them.

Morrigan frowns.  “An elven temple?”  She inhales sharply.  “Then I believe I know what lies inside.”

“You do?”

“Yes...I was searching for something there once. An eluvian.”

My eyes widen in shock.  “There’s an  _ eluvian _ in the temple?  A working one? No, no, that’s not good.”

“I take it that is not what you were going to tell us, then?” Leliana questions.

“No...there’s another artifact there called the Well of Sorrows, a sort-of repository of elven knowledge.  But an eluvian is terrible news.”

“With an eluvian, Corypheus could enter the Fade in the flesh,” Leliana surmises.

“Yes.” I bite my lip.  “And from there he would try to gain entry into the Black City again.  Damn it, why did Tenebris have to fly off the handle like that? We could have at least warned them...the generals…”  I look up at Tempestas.

**“The city’s defenses will hold, Stormbringer,”** Tempestas says. **“They did before, and they will again.  But none of that will be necessary if you get there before him.”**

“You’re right,” I acknowledge, and look at the others.  “We’ll need a plan. I had to forge a new travel ring, so I’m not sure how charged it is.  I’ll have to travel with you for a few days before I’d feel safe using it again. Hopefully Tenebris returns soon.” 

I look over at Dorian, and wish I hadn’t.  I hadn’t even given his feelings a second thought.  Tenebris just went to face both of our brothers, one of whom is the Maker.  Dorian keeps his face down; but I can tell, even at a distance, that he’s worried.

“Yes, let us hope he returns soon with word, but for now, the troops are home and weary,” Declan states.  “We will give everyone the night to sleep and talk strategy again in the morning.”

“Okay,” I acknowledge as the group breaks apart. I move to Dorian’s side.  “Tenebris can handle his own in a fight. I’m sure he’ll be alright,” I assure him.

“I take back what I said last time.  Your family is every bit as scary as the ancient texts say,” Dorian grumbles.

I nod.  “There was reason to fear us.  But Tenebris and I, at least, are on your side.”

Varric sighs, “Thank the M-” he cuts off, and corrects himself, “thank  _ goodness _ for small favors.”

“If I was any bigger of a favor, Varric, you’d have to look up at me,” I joke.

Varric doesn’t laugh.  “Let’s go home, Firefly,” he says, and takes my hand again.

I look up at Tempestas.  “Oh, I never figured out where you’ll be staying,” I tell her, and turn to Declan.  “Inquisitor...what about my friend? Where can she stay that she will be close, but able to come and go?”

**“I can just stay out here, past the bridge,”** she says.

“No, that won’t do,” I complain, and wait for Declan to respond.

He thinks about it.  “Leliana,” he calls, and she comes over to speak with him.  “Wasn’t there another cave beneath the Undercroft?”

“Yes,” she answered, “but digging an entry would have taken too long, and we had space enough as it was.”

I look at her.  “It has access to the outside, though?  Big enough that she could land?”

Leliana nods.  “There is a short ledge on the left side of the cave that should be big enough, but it is near the waterfall, so it will likely be a bit damp.”

I tilt my head to glance at Tempestas.  “Will that work, old friend?”

Her large head dips.   **“Better than outdoors,”** she admits.   **“Step back.  I will find this place, then.  We will speak again, past the bridge, tomorrow.”**

“Alright, see you tomorrow.” I take a few paces back.  She flaps her massive wings, enough to gain a little lift off the ground. Then she takes off, gliding gracefully through the air, her bright markings catching the last rays of the setting sun.

Varric pulls on my hand and I keep pace with him, giving his hand a squeeze.  I’m sure he will want to talk, but I’m very much looking forward to being home in our room again.  Most of the Inquisition forces have found their way inside Skyhold’s walls, and Varric and I take up position near the back of the group.  We say nothing to each other as we climb the stairs to our room. He opens the door, holding it for me, and I go in first. He closes it gently behind him and I turn back to look at him.

He touches his temple in a move that I know means he is stressed or frustrated, and I frown, guilt weighing on me.  

“Firefly, in all the rush, I never got around to thanking you.”

_ Thanking me? _

“For Hawke,” he continues.  “You put your life on the line to save my best friend.  I want you to know I appreciate it, even if it worried me half to death.”

I smile and move toward him; he holds up a hand, keeping me from getting too close.

“But it got me thinking…” He pauses, then moves to sit down in the armchair, keeping to the very edge of the seat.  His hands fall into his lap. “I think I’m a weak spot for you.”

I purse my lips together.  “Explain what you mean.” 

“You were in danger and got hurt,  _ for me, _ and I couldn’t do a thing to help you.” He looks looking up at me, his warm, light brown eyes meeting mine with sincerity.  “Seeing you ride in today -  _ on a dragon _ , no less - really brought it home: I’m just a businessman, and you’re...well, you’re you.”

“I’m  _ me?” _ I ask, a grin spreading across my face.  “Ok, so first off,” I comment, leaning in to put my hands on his knees, “I didn’t do it  _ just _ for you.  Garrett is my friend too, and he deserved better.”

Varric scoots back in the chair and I follow, putting my hands on either of the armrests and climbing up to straddle his legs, my knees resting on the cushion to either side.  “Secondly,” I start again with a smile, “you really have no idea what you’ve done to me, do you? Meeting you has turned my life completely upside-down. Being with you has  _ changed _ me, made me better.  I’m calmer, happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life.  I mean, did you see that sunset? Toth has even been cooperative, despite everything that’s happened, and I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for that, too.  Varric, I see a future with you that I never thought possible.”

He looks at me, a frown of concern wrinkling his forehead.  “Are you sure this is still what you want? I mean, you’re the twin of the Maker…”

“Ah, so this is about my  _ brother,” _ I reply, finally understanding.  I move in closer, one hand resting on the back of the chair, and sit on his upper thighs.  The fingers of the other hand glide over his hair, holding his head to look up at me. “Yes, I’m sure, you stubborn dwarf.  I told you before, it might seem strange, but it’s just magic, and I’m just a woman.” I smile. “I’ve been yours since the first time you kissed me.”  

He smiles back and I rest my forehead against his.  “You’re more than enough, Varric Tethras. You’re not a weakness, you’re my strength...my  _ everything.” _

“I love you,” he whispers, and our lips meet, not in our usual hunger and desperation, but gentle reassurance and connection.  Varric’s hands travel down my sides to rest at my waist when we break off the kiss. “I like this purple color on you,” he comments.

“It’s my favorite,” I tell him.  “And I’m glad we cleared that up,” I conclude with a grin.  “For a second there, I was worried I’d finally scared you away.”

He shakes his head.  “No, but I think I understand how Andraste must have felt now.”

“Oh, you mean happy?” I tease.

“Exactly,” he chuckles, and pulls my face down for another brief kiss.  I shift my body to rest my head on his shoulder and his arms tighten around me.  

“So what’d I miss?” I ask casually, to a small sound of amusement from my dwarf.

“Well, you know Hawke left,” he leads, and I nod.

“Yeah.  Good for him,” I respond.  “I really hope he finds her, Varric.  Garrett deserves something good after all he’s been through.  I don’t know Isabela, but from what I saw in Kirkwall and after listening to you two and Alistair talk about her, it sounds like she might need him as much as he needs her.”

“He told us that you battled the Nightmare,” Varric says, stroking his hand over my back, and I shiver at the sensation.

“Yeah, not that it did much good.  I think it would take an army to kill that thing now.”

Varric sighed in frustration, but planted a kiss on my temple.  “I’m just glad you’re both okay.”

“Me too,” I reply, smiling against his skin.  Neither of us show any indication of moving, and I’m comfortable on his lap.   _ It’s nice, this closeness. _  “So what else happened?”

“The demons - as you know - all left once the Inquisitor stepped back out of the Fade,” he continues.

“Hmm, I remember talking with the Archdemon, but I guess I didn’t really notice.”

“You mean you actually managed to talk to it?”

“Yeah, well...it wasn’t much of a conversationalist.  Red lyrium was growing inside it, causing it excruciating pain.  Death would be a mercy at this point.”

“Ah,” Varric says quietly, pausing before moving on.  “So then the Inquisitor goes and recruits the Wardens, saying they’re going to work for the Inquisition.  Alistair is running the show now.”

“I’m glad.  He’s a good man, Alistair.”

“Yeah, well, it didn’t go over well with everyone.  Solas got angry about it and took off. Well shit, I guess he’s not really Solas, is he?”

“Yes and no.  One name is as good as the other, I suppose.”

“Things were a whole lot easier when it was just ‘make friends, seal the giant hole in the sky’.  All this talk of fighting gods and the end of the world…”

“No one is going to take my future from me if I have anything to say about it.”

“That makes two of us, Firefly.”  I glance up at him, and find him looking at me with a determined expression.  Struck by the urge, I kiss him again, deepening the kiss this time. Varric growls, deep in his throat, his hands on my hips, his thick fingers digging into my flesh.

“Stop,” he says, pulling away with a pained rasping breath, and I immediately back off, looking at him.  

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask.

“No, but you’ve just been through something horrible.  You probably don’t want to be together that way just yet.”

“Love, I just had the longest nap of my life, and we’re back together for the first time in weeks. Of course I want you, and quite frankly, I could use the exercise.”

That’s all it takes.  The grin that takes over his features makes my heart race.  He pulls me in close to whisper harshly in my ear, “In that case…” He picks me up, ignoring my surprised giggles, his hands under my thighs and carries me to bed.

Later that night I wake, already missing the warmth of his arms. But I hear the familiar scratching of his quill and I know he’s at the desk, writing again.  I glance over. He’s remembered the blanket this time. I smile to myself and don’t bother getting up, but mumble, “Not too late, okay, Love?”

He grunts in way of agreement, but the sound of his quill doesn’t even stop for a second.   _ It must be something good, _ I think, as I drift back into the comfortable darkness of sleep.

The next thing I’m aware of is the soft pressure of kisses on the skin of my back and the rough scratch of Varric’s stubble creating the most interesting sensations.  He traces a finger across the surface of my scar from the snowy wyvern, and I turn to look back at him, my eyes still blurry with sleep. “Mm Varric?” I manage to get out through my drowsy haze.

“I have news,” he announces, and I try to focus.  “I got a letter while we were gone. Bartrand’s doing much better, thanks to the treatments Tenebris designed for him.”  His happiness is infectious, and I find myself smiling back.

“That’s amazing!” I exclaim and sit up, pulling the blanket up around me.  “I can’t wait to meet him! Wait, he’s going to like me, right?”

“Well, he  _ did  _ want me to settle down with the daughter of one of the members of the Merchant’s Guild,” Varric answers, breaking eye contact.

“That’s a joke, right?”  He doesn’t answer. “Varric...”

“Of course I’m joking,” he replies, humor lighting his features.  “You’re too gullible, Firefly. And no, Bartrand is my brother, not my keeper.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure he’ll like you.” Varric sighs, reluctantly standing up out of the bed.  “We need to get dressed and find out when we’re leaving this time. There’s never enough time,” he says, shaking his head as he reaches for his clothes.


	68. The Plan

Chapter 68: The Plan

 

Varric and I walk into the War Room to find the usual assembly:  Declan, Leliana, Josephine, Cullen and Morrigan. I sigh. “No word from Tenebris, I take it.”

“Not as of yet,” Cullen answers as he paces.  “But we need to devise a strategy.”

Josephine’s normally controlled features give way to a worried frown.  “We must act quickly. From what we discussed yesterday, I gather all is lost if we do not get to this temple before Corypheus.”

“Our armies will never make in time,” Cullen says, pausing to look at her.

“Then we send scouts, to get there ahead of the army,” Leliana suggests.

“Without support?  We’ll lose over half of them!” he protests.

I look at Declan, who has been listening to the debate already so far.  He looks up to meet my eyes, and smiles.

“We need to work together,” he says, taking charge.  “Josephine, contact the nobles on our side, have them send their fastest people.  They’ll meet up with Leliana’s scouts. Cullen, I know we’ve only returned from Adamant, but I need your troops ready to go as soon as possible.  You’ll join the bulk of our allies’ forces. We’ll see this done.”

Morrigan scoffs.  “The Arbor Wilds are not so hospitable to visitors; old elven magic lives in the forests there.”

“And of course, we’ll be needing your assistance, Morrigan,” he adds. 

Morrigan smiles.  “‘Tis is good to know it is appreciated.”

In a blink, Tenebris appears in front of me, slumping against the War Table and toppling the miniature pieces.  I rush to him, looking him over. He has a black eye, and seems a little unsteady, but otherwise okay.

He meets my gaze and grins.  “Don’t worry, Sister. He looks worse than I do,” he states, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You idiot, why would you do that?” I ask, pulling over one of the nearby chairs.

“Lucis crossed a line; he needed to be taught a lesson.  Brother or no, nobody does that to you. He was just so damned  _ pathetic _ , kept apologizing over and over, pissing me off.  But then he had the gall to beg me to bring you back.  That’s when I hit him.”

“You punched the Maker?” Cullen gasps, and I’m reminded that we have an audience.

Tenebris smiles from ear to ear, and I can tell my brother is feeling quite proud of himself.  “I sure as shit did,” he says. “Lucis never was a match for me in a fistfight.”

“Um, I hate to ask, but can I have a minute alone with my brother?” I ask the others.

“Just a few, we need to move on this soon,” Declan says, and the group files out.  Varric squeezes my hand in silent support before exiting.

After they leave, I turn to my brother again.  “Looks like he got in at least one lucky punch,” I say, reaching up to check the small cut in his eyebrow.  Tenebris winces, and I summon my healing magic to knit the wound back together.

“That was Etiam, actually,” Tenebris responds.  “He saw us fighting, and tried to break it up. I caught an elbow to the face.”

“Lucis didn’t even fight back?” I ask, absorbing that piece of information.

“He knew he deserved what he got.”

“I’m just glad he didn’t trap you there,” I tell him, ending the spell.

“He didn’t even seem to care about me, said I could come and go as I please, but he’s obsessed with having you there for some reason.”

I sigh.  “I know. Tempestas thinks maybe his grief over Andraste has driven him mad.”

“I thought that at first, too, but then...Sister, there was something more, something he wouldn’t tell me.  I almost had him ready to talk, and he mentioned keeping you away from Corypheus, but then Etiam interrupted us.”

“He didn’t want me to go to Adamant, either.  I wish I knew what he was thinking.”

“Yeah, he hasn’t exactly been the sharing type in a long time, Sister.  But, I don’t think he’ll be a problem for a little while, at least. I made it clear that I’d be back if he made a move for you again,” Tenebris says.  “Gave him something to think about.”

“Thanks for that.  Honestly, I was picturing things being far worse.”

I go to the door and open it, finding the others waiting in the hall.  “Sorry about that. Family business,” I explain with a sigh.

“Anything we need to worry about?” Declan asks.

“No, I think Tenebris convinced them to back off for a while.”

“Good,” Declan replies.  “Now, back to the matter at hand.  We have a timeline for getting there, but what do we know about this temple of Mythal?”

“Mythal?” Tenebris utters, his eyebrows shooting upward.  “Shit.”

“Another friend of yours?” Leliana snaps.

I sigh, and nod.  “A very, very long time ago.  We haven’t seen her in person since, although I saw a few things in the Watcher’s Well that make me believe she still lives.”

“And the temple?” Declan asks.

“I remember going there when we were young,” I acknowledge.  “It’s how I knew what it contained. I could probably mark on a map how to get there at least, but it’s been centuries, and I’m sure a lot has changed.”

“It’s still better than what we have,” he replies, nodding.  “Anything else we need to know about this temple?”

“Yes, it used to be guarded by those who served Mythal,” I tell them, continuing on when I see their confusion.  “Elves bound to her,” I clarify. “Then there’s the Well.”

“Yes, tell us of this artifact,” Morrigan prods.  “I am most curious.”

I nod.  “The servants of Mythal each passed their knowledge onto the Well upon their death.  It is said that whoever drinks from it will take their collective wisdom. That’s assuming it’s still there.”

“Corypheus believes something is there, or he would not have his people searching as he does,” Leliana points out.

“True.  But, it might be the eluvian he’s after.  Again, if that is still there, and whole.”

“We cannot afford to let him get his hands on either,” Cullen proclaims.

“No, we can’t,” Tenebris says.  “With the Well’s power, and our own family backing him, who knows what that magister would be capable of.”

“He seeks to become a god,” Declan states, looking down at the map.  “It’s what he told me when I faced him at Haven. That he saw the throne of the gods, and it was empty, that he the Will that is Corypheus and he would become a god.”

“It wasn’t empty,” I respond.  “He never made it inside. We diverted him to a false version.  Etiam is a master of powerful illusions.”

Leliana frowns.  “I know you said you do not believe we will have to fight your family, but I think we need a better idea on what we are up against.”

I nod.  “No, I agree.”  I look to Tenebris, who nods, as well.  “Etiam is second only to Fen’Harel in his mastery of the Fade.  He can summon spirits easily.”

“Demons, then,” Cullen states.

“Some, yes, but it’s not always as simple as the Chantry wants to make it.  Your own experiences with Cole should tell you that much. It’s why Solas was able to hide so long...he made you all forget.  Etiam can also use illusions and has studied more arcane lore than anyone I’ve ever encountered. There’s a reason they call him The Wise.”

“And The Maker- I mean Lucis?” Delcan asks.

“Yes, just call him by his name.  The Maker is a mix of both truth and fiction, but Lucis is the reality.  He is the master of both Creation magic and Nature. He can heal almost any wound, making truly hurting him quite difficult, and is proficient with spells of sleep and paralysis.”  The last is hard to say, so soon off my encounter with him. “He can call on the beasts of the wilds, up to and including High Dragons. That’s how Corypheus gained his Archdemon.”

“And I’m sure we will be seeing  _ it _ again in the Arbor Wilds, as well,” Cullen comments.  

“Our Warden allies are convinced it is not a true Archdemon,” Josephine says, “but other than that, we have little information.”

Morrigan cleared her throat.  “The Old Gods, however corrupted, do not follow anyone’s orders.  That creature is something else, entirely.”

I sigh, thinking about it.  “Yes, it’s a High Dragon that Corypheus poisoned with red lyrium.  I’m not sure I understand it all, either, but I did talk to it at Adamant.”

Declan’s smile lit the room.  “Dragon Girl to the rescue. What did you determine from the conversation?”   


“It’s in terrible pain from the red lyrium growing inside it.”  I wince, remembering it telling me that it hurt. “It both loves and hates Corypheus.  He has some compulsion over it, but I couldn’t tell if it was blood magic or something else.  I  _ almost _ had it agreeing to let me help it when you came back, and it flew away back to its master.”

Declan nods.  “Do you think you could communicate with it again?  Distract it long enough for our troops to attack?”

“Maybe, but with Corypheus there to counter me, I can’t be certain.”

“Then you believe Corypheus will be there personally?” Lelana questions.

“Definitely.  If he’s not already, when he learns of our presence he will show himself.  Which is why I don’t believe my brothers will be there, despite the temptation of the power of the Well.”

“Then Corypheus doesn’t know of the gods’ involvement?” Cullen asks.

“No, I don’t believe so,” Tenebris says.  “They’ve been helping from the sidelines, setting things in his path.”

“What about Mythal?  Could she be an ally?” Leliana asks.

“I don’t know,” I admit.  “Mythal was never like the other Evanuris.  That’s probably the reason she and I became friends.  Knowing her, she likely would choose no side but her own.  She’s a difficult person to understand, but I do not believe she would want the world to end.  Still, would she see the destruction of the Veil as an end, or a beginning? That, I cannot say.”

“And what of her powers?” Declan asks.

“She is powerful, both a spirit of protection and vengeance.  The Dalish call out to her still. Her powers are many, but she rather enjoys changing her shape, transforming into a dragon.”

Morrigan frowns.  “Mythal is a shapeshifter?”

I smile.  “Not a common skill, I know.  I certainly never managed that one.”  I turn back to the others. “As for me, you’ve seen a lot of what I can do.  I can harness the elements, shape them to my will.”

“Sometimes without your will, too,” Tenebris grumbles.

“I try,” I pout.  “I don’t usually mean to mess with the weather.”

“I know, imp.”  I feel the warmth of his hand on the top of my head.

“We never did get a full description of  _ your _ powers, Tenebris,” Leliana points out.

“No, you didn’t,” he answers bluntly.

“Tenebris…” I admonish.  “We’re trusting them, remember?”

He sighs.  “Very well.”  He pauses. “I dislike the feeling of the Fade, and I never liked communicating with spirits overly much, though they serve a purpose.  Most of my own powers rely more on my own strength.”

“We know that you’ve used blood magic,” Cullen states, his jaw set firmly.

“Sneer at it if you will.  I perform blood magic, yes, but also entropy, necromancy, and the magic of the Blight.”

“Blight magic?” Leliana asks.

I reach out and hold my brother’s hand in support.  “There’s a reason he was called the Darkness. But he’s a good man, and in full control of his abilities...even if sometimes not his temper.”

Tenebris scoffs.  “You’re one to talk.  You’re the one who nearly buried them in snow when- oh, you’re joking with me,” he breaks off, shaking his head.

Declan looked at both of us.  “I’m glad for both of your friendship.  I don’t know where we would be if it weren’t for you two.”

“Finally appreciating friendship, are we Declan?” I tease, and I’m glad to see the smile blossom on his friendly face.

He runs a hand through his long auburn hair.  “I think I learned that one from you, Dragon Girl.”

“Firefly…” Varric starts, and I see his worried expression for the first time.  I realize I hadn’t been watching his reactions at all.

“Yes?”

“What are we going to do about Corypheus?  Hawke and I killed him back in Kirkwall, and that didn’t stop him.”

“You killed him?  But, I saw him in the Well when he attacked Haven.  He was a little different than the last time I saw him, granted…”

“Right, you two knew him,” Declan observes.  “What can you tell us about Corypheus?”

I look at my brother.  “Tenebris knew him better than I.”

My brother nods.  “First off, his name wasn’t always Corypheus.  His name was Sethius Amladaris back then, and he was a student of mine.  He served under General Dumat.”

“He mentioned Dumat when we fought him,” Varric verified, nodding.  "He seemed to think he was going to see him when he woke up in that Grey Warden prison.”

Tenebris’s voice grows quieter, remembering.  “He was part of a group called the Magisters Sidereal - the ones who led the attack against The Golden City, forcing us to retreat and defend our home.”

Josephine says nothing, scribbling away in her notes, but she looks up and meets my gaze, and I know she’s drawing the same conclusion that they all had: that the Blights were our fault.

“Is it in your power to stop the Blights?” she asks, her delicate brow furrowed in worry.

I shake my head.  “No, I wish we could.  It’s our generals trapped underground that keep perpetuating the cycle.  Each time one of the remaining Ancient dragons becomes corrupted by the Taint, it starts again, and we still can’t get to them the way things are.  Once they are gone, the Darkspawn will die out without an organizing force behind them. There will be two, possibly three more Blights before it’s over, assuming none of the remaining generals above ground come in contact with the Taint.”

“We were devastated,” Tenebris adds.  “First that our own people would turn against us, and then again when we lost the Ancients.  Oddly enough, if the Veil  _ does _ come down, then we can reach them and stop the Blights.”

I find myself studying the table, the representation of the known world to these people.

“Yes, Brother, but then it will be too late.  We can’t let that happen, even if it means that Razikale, Lusacan, and Draconis are lost to us.”

“Draconis?  Do you know where she is, then?” Tenebris asks.

“Not exactly, but Lucis said he dreamed of her song in the Fade, from underground.  I think she faced the same fate as the others. But as to what to do about Corypheus, I’m not sure.  He was mortal when last I saw him. Perhaps the Taint, or the red lyrium changed him somehow.”

“Dumat may have done something, as well,” Tenebris admits.  “After the turn.”

I turn to look at the Inquisitor.  “You struck a blow against him at Haven with the avalanche, Declan.  He is not unbeatable. We’ve beaten him back at every turn, and his followers are certainly killable; we’ve done that enough already.  We’ll have to hope it’s enough.”

“If we know as much as we can, then, we stick to the plan,” Declan says.  “Leliana, ready your people. The rest of you, then, prepare for a long journey.  We leave in the morning. Ferox, Tenebris. Can we count on you should we need to transport a couple of people ahead of the others?”

I nod.  “Of course.  We’ll do whatever we can.”

The Inquisitor smiles.  “Thank you, friend.” He turns, and walks out, ahead of the others.  

“See you two at the Herald’s Rest later?” Tenebris asks, and I nod.   _ A drink with my friends is definitely welcome. _

Morrigan is the last to leave, her gaze hinting at much but giving away nothing.  Finally, Varric and I are alone.

I smile.  “A whole day together, and not on the road,” I say, closing my eyes, savoring the idea.  “Of course, I need to go see Tempestas and…” I stop, an idea coming to me.

“No,” he responds.

“No?  I haven’t even told you what it is yet.”

“You want to go somewhere on that dragon of yours.  No way.”

“Are you going all Dwarf-y on me after all?  Afraid you’ll fall into the sky?”

He chuckled at that one.  “Probably shouldn’t risk it.”

“Fine, but at least come with me to see her?”

“As long as these feet stay on the ground, Firefly, the sky’s the limit.”

“Really, Varric?  That was a terrible joke.  Don’t put that in our story.”

He reaches out a hand for me.  “The thief held his tongue, his very voice stolen away, for the long winter had stretched on and he’d nearly given up hope of ever seeing another summer.  He counted every star in the heavens that night until he found the lucky one that had blessed him.”

I felt tears building, and I take his hand, latching onto his arm, leaning my head against his shoulder.  “Let’s go, Love.”

The rest of the day is perfectly ordinary: no crisis pulling someone away, no more secrets to unravel.  Just Varric, my brother, and our friends. Drinks and laughter. The threat of Corypheus still looms, but it’s like it doesn’t exist in this moment.  I make note of every detail, every memory, as I know it will be our last for some time. But for today, perfectly ordinary is just that - perfect.


	69. The Arbor Wilds

Chapter 69: The Arbor Wilds

 

Powerful magic crackles in the distance. The resulting explosion creates ripples of sound like thunder.  I can’t tell if it was from one of our mages, or from Corypheus’s people. Varric and I have joined Declan at the forward camp in the Arbor Wilds, and it’s every bit as lovely here as I remember.  Delicately arching trees stand tall against the uneven landscape, and colorful plants and wildlife abound in the area. Under other circumstances, this place would be a paradise. It’s no wonder that the ancient elves chose this place to reside and honor one of their gods.

I know we’re here to stop Corypheus, but I can’t help but hope that Mythal does show herself in the flesh.  I’ve missed my old friend; but in the back of my mind, I recognize that she might be different than I last remember, too.

“It makes you wonder,” Tenebris says, moving to step close to us, Dorian at his side.  “These red templars seem endless. Exactly how many do you think Corypheus managed to turn?”

“I’d prefer not to think about it,” Dorian comments.  “But we don’t need to actually defeat them all, we just need to get inside this temple, yes?”

I nod.  “That’s our focus.  Claim his prize, keep it from his grasp.  Although anything we can do along the way to slow him down or weaken his advantage, the better.”

“That’s where you two come in,” Declan says, joining our group.  “You’re going to help clear a path for us like you did at Adamant, only don’t hold back this time.  We’re not capturing them like we did the Wardens. Aim to kill.”

I give a single nod of acknowledgement.

Tenebris grins.  “You ready?” he asks, turning to Dorian. “The Inquisitor just let Ferox off her leash.  That means corpses by the dozens.”

Dorian curls his hand around his staff, his lip twitching upward in a smile of his own.  “I’ll follow your lead then, shall I? I always like walking behind you.”

I chuckle at their exchange.  “I’m just sad Tempestas had to miss this.”  She’d protested, of course, but in the end, we all knew bringing her around Corypheus was too great a risk.  I look to Varric. “Varric, I trust you and Bianca to have my back, but don’t follow too close. I can get a bit flashy, and I don’t want you getting caught up in one of my spells.”

Varric nods, his jaw set firmly.  “Just be careful. Let’s get this shit over with.”

Morrigan stands off from the rest of us, watching, but not interacting with anyone.  I wonder what her life must have been like; I’ve even considered telling her about her mother a few times.  I’m glad she has Kieran, as it seems to have eased some of her sadness, but she still seems lonely. 

I suppose there haven’t been many that would have understood her, or her aspirations.  Not here, anyway. She would have done better in Tevinter, where her magical prowess and desire to learn the old ways would have been praised, not scorned.  I smile reassuringly at her, making sure she knows she is seen and included as part of our group.

The six of us - Declan, Dorian, Tenebris, Morrigan, Varric and I - make up the Inquisitor’s team.  The others will work to hold the enemy at bay and perform targeted strikes. We set off down the hill from the main camp at the fringes of the forest. The sounds of fighting die away for a time, overtaken by the serenity of this place.  I soak in the chirping birds and leaves stirring in the light breeze.

The temporary reprieve doesn’t last long, however, and soon we come across a group of red templars.  A red crystal behemoths is already turning toward us. 

I arc my staff upwards, spinning in a dance I know quite well, calling the storm.  Lightning strikes hit the ground, and wind rushes in from all sides.  _ Time to step it up. _  I summon fire from within, and set off spinning fire tornados toward the group, carving scorching paths into the earth.  Between the heat from the fire, and the ferocity of the storm itself, they’re defeated in no time.

We pause as Tenebris and Dorian summon spirit fragments from the Fade to animate the dead.  The Inquisition soldiers look a bit squeamish as the dead rise, but I’m used to Tenebris’s powers.  The newly-animated soldiers follow Tenebris’s order to walk at my side, and I lead the pack onward. We reach a small stream where some of our friends are fighting a mix of Wardens and templars, and I notice that our men are all out of the water.   _ Excellent _ .  

I summon the lightning cage. The blinding sphere of bright orchid light forms above the stream.  The containment field surrounds those within, and each strike electrifies the water. Within seconds, the opposition falls.

“For the Inquisition!” our men shout, cheering as the spell ends.

Again, Dorian and Tenebris raise the corpses of the fallen to join our side before we move on.  By the time we reach Cullen, we’re trailing a few dozen undead soldiers in our wake. 

“What’s the situation, Commander?” Declan inquires.

He eyes our risen army warily, but nods.  “Our scouts report more Wardens ahead. We’ll do what we can to keep them off you.”

Declan nods.  “Alright. We’ve been able to handle them so far, but the fewer we’re forced to fight at a time, the better.  Spread them out, if you can. Keep them from regrouping.”

Cullen gives a small bow.  “As you say, Inquisitor.”

Cullen whispers to a runner, who sprints  into the wilderness, presumably to spread word of the plan.

“Where are Samson and Corypheus?” Declan asks.

Cullen exhales.  “We’re not certain, but they are likely close to the temple by now.  Be on your guard.”

We march forward, taking out small isolated groups, as before.  The plan appears to be working. We pass a few of the others along our way: Blackwall, Sera, Bull, Cassandra, Vivienne.  Each fights their own set of templars or Wardens. We help to take out the enemies in each area before continuing on, leaving our friends to guard and defend.

Finally, the six of us have accrued an army of undead several dozen strong.  My brother has controlled more than this before, but not often, and I can see it’s draining his energy quickly.  A tunnel lies ahead, and we rush forward into it.

“I hear fighting ahead,” Morrigan announces.

We slow our pace and cautiously peer out through the doorway, down over a railing into the temple itself.  The scene below us is chaos, with Wardens fighting against ancient elves. Several of them fall even as we watch. 

A long bridge juts ahead from the lower level to a set of massive double doors.  Many of the remaining elves flee inside the temple. One remains, standing guard against the intruders.

The Wardens are directed by a red templar in substantial armor adorned with red lyrium crystals, who stands not far from the beginning of the bridge.  And at at his side is none other than Corypheus himself.

“They still think to fight us, Master,” the templar informs Corypheus, tossing the slim body of one of Mythal’s followers to the ground at his feet.

Declan whispers, “Samson.”

_ So that’s Samson.   _ I remember Cullen talking about the templar that had joined Corypheus and is fighting at his side.  From the looks of him, he’s seen better days. I’d heard he was cast out from the Templar Order, and, left without lyrium, he turned to begging and other, uglier avenues to get it.  His face shows the signs of aging, despite his almost gloating grin.

Corypheus strides toward the bridge.  

“These are but remnants,” he says, his voice resonating through the overgrown chamber.  “They will not keep us from the Well of Sorrows.”

“We need to get down there,” I whisper to Declan.  “That elf can’t fight Corypheus, Samson, and those Wardens alone.”

“You’re right,” Declan responds, and turns to my brother.  “Tenebris, this is as good as time as any to use the...er...men that we’ve collected.”

Tenebris smiles widely, clearly looking forward the battle to come.  An army of the undead is anything but subtle, and the animated corpses charge down the stairs ahead of us to engage the Wardens.  I stay by Declan’s side, and we allow our soldiers to descend before us, Declan and I following behind a short ways. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I stop, shocked by what I’m seeing.

Corypheus has reached some sort of magical barrier.  It seems to be coming from two stone pillars on either side of the bridge, which now glow with bright blue sigils.  Corypheus himself struggles against the barrier, attempting to move forward, but his momentum is halted. He grabs the elf with one hand, raising him up off the ground.

“What is happening to him?” Morrigan questions from behind me.  “What is this magic?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, shaking my head.

Corypheus’s flesh seems to burn and melt away, revealing the tense cordons of muscle underneath, then a flash of white bone, and then...nothing but ash that collapses to the stone.  The barrier itself collapses in an explosion of blue-white light, debris flying outward in all directions. The force of the blast throws the ancient elf to the ground several feet away.

My ears are ringing after the explosion, but a quick glance tells me that Varric and the others of our group are unharmed.  Bodies litter the area in front of the bridge as I pick my way forward. Most of our undead soldiers have fallen, along with the Wardens.  I step carefully around the scattered pieces of stone and the corpses of the dead, making my way to the beginning of the bridge. Samson pauses at the doorway on the far side, ushering the last of his men inside the temple.  He smiles again with a smug expression, and disappears into the darkness beyond.

“Damn it, Samson’s getting ahead of us!” I shout, rushing forward.  I notice the elf from before is missing from where I saw him fall only moments before.

“Wait!” Dorian’s voice calls out from behind me, and I turn to look.

One of the Wardens is on his feet, twitching in an unnatural fashion, and grunting with a guttural sound.

“Tenebris?” I ask, hoping my brother knows what’s going on.

He shakes his head, and backs away, pulling Dorian with him further down the bridge.  I watch in horror as black blood spurts forth from his mouth, his skin bubbling, transforming into something entirely different.

_ Stars, no...I’ve seen this before.  This is what Archdemons do. Shit, that means… _

My worst fears are confirmed when Corypheus’s arm bursts out of the contorted, mangled mass that had been the body of a dying Warden only moments before.  The shriek of a dragon, a sound I would know anywhere, cuts through the air overhead.

“Run!” I scream, hurtling myself forward, toward the double doors of the temple.

Sprinting toward the door, I reach it just after Declan, and I look back down the bridge.  Corypheus is striding toward the doors, but when he meets my gaze he pauses in his steps, a sinister smile twisting his already misshapen face.

“Destroyer!” he shouts in a booming voice.

His dragon emerges over the top of the trees marking the edge of the temple, where it meets the Wilds.  It soars closer, as the last of our party finally enters the temple. They immediately start to push the doors closed.  I want to help, but my legs give out beneath me and I sink to my knees, trembling with my newfound realizations.

The dragon uses its breath weapon and red light cascades down onto the walkway, ringing with the familiar sound of crystal shards shattering on the stone.  It grows closer, the arc of its breath raising up to hit the door. I stare helplessly, unable to move to aid my friends.

The doors close, just as the sound of magic vibrates outward.  The red lyrium shards hit the door, but it holds. The light of a magical barrier seals the door, and a wave of force echoes outward.  I feel weakness overcoming me, and I sob.

“Firefly!  What happened?” Varric asks, rushing to my side, but I can’t answer.  “Are you hit? Tenebris, get over here,” he orders.

Tenebris quickly moves to my side.  “She’s not hurt,” he says. “I think this is emotional.”

Varric gathers me into his arms, and I cling to him, sobs causing my body to jerk.  He holds me tight in his embrace, running his hands over my back in a soothing motion.

A rumble of thunder from outside shakes the very floor.

“Sister,” Tenebris says, reaching over to stroke my hair.  “You need to calm down and talk to us.”

I look up at him and he exhales in a huff of breath.

“I’m sorry Varric,” my brother states, “but she needs the cold right now.  With the state she’s in, her power will tear this whole place apart.”

I feel Varric nod.  “Sweetheart,” he says, the endearment breaking through my panic.  “You have to do the thing with the cold. Turn the emotions off, or you’re going to kill us all.”

_ Cold, yes.  That will help.  I close my eyes and imagine the snowy mountains near Skyhold, and soaring through the skies above them on Tempestas’s back.  I take a deep, shuddering breath, but I can feel the sting of the cold mountain air. My fears turn to snowflakes, fluttering down gently around me, harmless.  Yes. Embrace the cold. Encase it in ice. Another deep breath, welcoming the bite of the frigid air. _

I pull away from Varric.  His eyes shine with something, but when he turns away, it’s gone.   _ Were those tears?  For me? Useless. _

“I shouldn’t be here,” I announce, drawing confused looks from the group.

“What happened out there, Ferox?” Declan asked, stepping closer.

I hesitate, and Morrigan is the one who answers.

“Corypheus transferred bodies like an Archdemon.  He possessed the nearest Blighted creature and rose anew.”

“That must be how he survived when Hawke and I killed him,” Varric comments.

“But Ferox, you’re not afraid of magisters  _ or _ Archdemons,” Dorian says.  “So Corypheus has a new trick, what makes this so different?”

“You’re not getting it,” I say, touching a hand to my chest.  “Remember what I carry within me.”

“Maker’s Breath: Toth!” Declan exclaims.  “Sorry,” he adds, realizing what he’s said.

“Lucis was right,” I state, getting to my feet.  “I should have stayed in the Black City.”

“What?!” Tenebris blurts out.  “Ferox, our bastard of a brother held you captive!”

“And what would have happened if  _ I _ had been the closest Blighted creature, Brother?  All Corypheus has to do is die around me and he gets what he wants.  If he possesses Toth, he’ll take over my body, and achieve the godhood he so desires, without having to set one foot inside the Black City.”


	70. The Temple of Mythal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. I'd used up some of my buffer chapters and writing was slow for a bit. I'm getting back into it now, though, so there will be more :)

Chapter 70: The Temple of Mythal

 

I reach for my travel ring, but Declan puts out a hand to stop me.

“Ferox, don’t.  Please stay, at least for now.  Corypheus seems unable to enter for the moment, and you know this temple better than anyone else.  We need you.”

“Alright,” I agree.  “My ring still has a full charge.  If Corypheus returns , I can leave easily enough.”

“Sister,” Tenebris says, tilting his head to look at me.  “I won’t let him have you; you have my word.” He takes my hand.  “But please, don’t go back to the Black City. Anywhere but there.”

I scoff, pulling my hand back.  “Useless emotions. I would be safe there.”

“Firefly...please,” Varric pleads.  He looks thoughtful for a moment before adding, “The dragons need you.”

I nod.  “That’s a valid point.  Very well. If I leave, I’ll start in the Hissing Wastes with Cinder.  Toth’s presence  _ would _ make her transition into an Ancient easier.”

Varric and Tenebris both exhale sighs of relief at my answer.  I shake my head. “Can we get on with this now? Unless you want Samson to get the Well?”

“Is she alright like that?” Declan asks.

“Not really, but it’s better than the alternative,” Tenebris answers with a sigh.  “She’s right, though; we need to get moving.”

Morrigan falls in step next to me as we head deeper into the temple.  I glance over and catch her watching me with curiosity.

“Was there something you needed, Morrigan?”

“Not particularly, no.  Merely observing. ‘Tis most curious, your change in demeanor.”

“I’m not here to satisfy your curiosity,” I reply, giving her an icy look.  “I realize Samson knows we’re following him, but I’d rather he not  _ hear _ us coming.”

Dorian snickers behind us.   _ Apparently something I said amused him. _  I ignore him and keep walking.

The courtyard where we stand differs from the last time I saw it.  It has been left - or perhaps encouraged _ \-  _ to grow over with vegetation: tall trees with spiraling bark reach upwards toward the light filtering in from overhead; mosses and even grasses have taken over some of the crumbling stairs and stonework underfoot.  This is a place in balance with nature.  _ It suits her. _

A square platform lies directly ahead, with a short set of wide stone steps leading up to it on this side, and the far side, as well.   _ Ah yes. _

Morrigan is examining the inscription on one of the posts just to the side.   _ “Abelasan _ \- the place of sorrows.  I’m sorry, I cannot translate the rest, but it appears this Well of Sorrows is important.”

“This is the supplicant’s path,” I tell her.

“Yes, of course.  For paying obeisance.  It may aid our entry.”

I give her an impatient look.  “You forget I’ve _ been _ here before.  I remember the way just fine.”  I carefully walk the path, each step lighting up a section of the tiles beneath.  When all are lit, the magic tingles, sparkling blue magical energy shooting up around me before settling down again.

“It’s certainly pretty, but what does it  _ do _ exactly?” Dorian questions.

“The ancient elves would go into an enchanted extended sleep called  _ uthenera.   _ It is not unlike what Lucis and I do with the dragons when they are not needed.  It takes very little of their physical resources to remain alive, and with enough practice, one can learn to live entirely from the energy of the Fade, indefinitely.  Of course, the Veil did not exist when this practice first began, and accessing the Fade was unnecessary.

“Walking the path is the way to ask for knowledge and guidance from the one sleeping within.  If one is humble, and asks an appropriate question, then walks the path, they will receive an answer from the dreamer.”

“A trial of faith,” Declan comments, nodding.  “Like the gauntlet at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.”

“That’s not a bad comparison, but these were living beings within, not a dead woman’s ashes imbued with lyrium.”  I shake my head at the foolishness of mortals.

“So we knocked on the door, does that mean Mythal’s home?” Varric asks, his eyes darting around him.

“No,” I answer.  “From what I’ve seen, it appears she has not resided here in some time.”  I walk on ahead of the others.

After I complete another of the labyrinthine puzzles, we stop for a quick rest, and drink from our waterskins.  I notice an odd statue around the corner, and go to investigate. Morrigan follows.

She stares up at the massive carving.  “That is a representation of Fen’Harel, but what is it doing in a temple devoted to Mythal?”

I shake my head.  “I don’t know. They were close, once, but it is odd that his icon would be here in this place.  If I get a chance to see either of them again, I’ll be sure to ask.”

Morrigan frowns.

The ground shakes as an explosion detonates from the next room.  Morrigan and I run to determine the source, and Declan, Varric, and Tenebris are not far behind.  I reach the doorway first, and see Samson standing on an upper walkway, behind a stone railing. It appears he has opened a hole to an underground chamber in front of where they stand.

“Hold them off!” He shouts to his men, jumping down into the hole.

A handful of red templars and a few horrors move into action, heading toward us.

“Bianca was just asking when we were going to see some action,” Varric jokes from behind me. 

But I feel no rush of excitement over the coming battle, no fear.  Only cold, calculating stillness.

“I’ll take care of this,” I announce, brandishing my staff.  I twirl it in a motion above my head, bringing the storm, but it isn’t lightning I’m after.  A layer of ice forms on the ground between me and the templars. They reach it and start sliding, losing their balance.  After a second, however, their momentum slows and I see the lines of frost already creeping up their legs. Their feet and legs become heavy, and finally stop moving entirely.  The creeping frost rises up their chest, and I watch as panic sets in when they realize what’s happening.

“Death,” I whisper softly, the word almost a caress as it leaves my lips.

The templars arch their necks upwards, desperately gasping, trying to pull air into their motionless, frozen lungs, but there is no hope for them now.  The last of their life escapes their mouths in one final cloud of vapor, leaving the chamber in an empty stillness.

With a snap of my fingers, the floor of ice shatters, glittering shards scattering across the stone.  I blur into motion, hitting each templar with a solid blow from my staff, and when I have finished, the floor is littered with frozen chunks of flesh.

“Sorry,” I say to my brother.  “You didn’t need those, did you?”

Tenebris shakes his head, his lips pressed into a thin line.

I turn back and head up the nearby staircase to where I’d seen Samson standing before.  Morrigan joins me, peering into the darkness below. Samson is nowhere to be seen.

“Wait,” Morrigan says, and I turn my impatient gaze on her once more.

She frowns again.  “Our true objective lies ahead,” she says, indicating the door across the broken floor, not the hole itself.  “If we continue the path…”

I think it over.  “The elves might be more likely to listen to us, at least, if we show our respects.”  I nod. “Inquisitor?”

Declan nods.  “We need to get to the Well and find out if this eluvian exists.  Samson is only a secondary objective.”

A narrow section of the tiled floor remains, and we make our way around the hole.  As an afterthought, I call the rocks and earth to me, and seal the hole, instead.

“They won’t be returning the same way they went in, anyway,” I announce.

A soft chuckle catches my attention and I look up to see Varric smiling at me.  I pause and watch the expression soften. Something thumps in my chest. Something painful.   _ Why does it hurt? _  I frown, confused by the sensation, and feel my shoulders drop.

“Ferox,” Dorian says near me.  “You are among family.” 

His hand tentatively finds my shoulder, the long slender fingers seeming odd against my paler skin.  I leave it there, but stare at it, the warmth stirring something again.

“Dorian…” I find myself smiling at his words, and he pulls me in for a hug.

“Welcome back, Dragon Girl,” he says, slowly letting go.  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a bit frightening when you’re like that.”

“Sorry,” I say, wincing.  I remember Corypheus, and the panicky feeling settles over me again.  But, Varric is there to offer his hand, reassuring me, and the feeling eases.

“You okay, Firefly?” he asks.

“I think so.”  I swallow. “But we really don’t have time for this.”

“We need to keep moving,” Tenebris agrees. 

“At last, something we can agree upon,” Morrigan says sharply, with a nod of her head. 

Varric walks with me, keeping a tight grip on my hand.  The next area contains a massive door. Examining it reveals that it has been sealed by magic, and I think I know what kind.

“There must be more of the magical paths nearby.  When we walk them all, we’ll be granted entry,” I tell them.  “We should split up, we’ll complete them more quickly that way.”

Declan frowns, but nods.  “Logical. Alright. You start with the closest one, Ferox.  Varric, you stay with her.”

Varric smiles at me.

“Tenebris, you and Dorian take the one on the left, and Morrigan and I will head toward the one at far end.  When you’ve finished, return here so we know that you’re done. Ferox, if you see anyone not back yet, check in to help them, seeing as you’ve been here before.”

“A solid plan,” Tenebris says, and he and Dorian walk toward their assigned door.

I nod, and Varric and I enter the room directly to our right.  There’s a small passageway that opens up into a larger chamber.  The ceiling - if there ever was one here - has been lost, and sunlight streams down in from above.  I’m happy to see some patches of blue in the sky, and relieved to know that my storm from earlier did not get a chance to do too much damage.

Vines hang down from the opening, and curl around the pillars inside.  We head toward the raised platform that dominates the center of the area, and I recognize this one as one of the more challenging paths.

“Varric, you follow the low wall over there and stand in the center section.  I’m going to need you to pull the lever when I tell you okay?”

He gives a small shrug.  “Sure thing,” he grunts, and heads over to the location I indicated.  With his help, the path is simple enough, and we walk back into the central room a couple of minutes later.

We’re the first ones back.  I trust Tenebris to figure out his puzzle, and I decide to see how Declan’s progress is going with Morrigan.

We’ve just reached their doorway when Varric pulls on my hand, stopping me.  A glance back reveals him putting a finger to his lips. He points over my shoulder and I turn to look.

Morrigan and Declan are standing close together, the light of their path already illuminated, filling the area with an ethereal blue glow.  They appear to be talking, not touching, but there’s something almost intimate about their posture.

I turn back to Varric, my eyes wide.  He laughs, clearly having drawn the same conclusion I had about them.

“You know, Inquisitor, we could come back if you’re busy,” he teases them, and I see Morrigan turn away.

_ Are they really…?  No, they can’t be, right?  Stars, I really hope Declan knows what he’s doing. _

“No, we’re finished,” the Inquisitor says, with no hint of embarrassment.

The four of us return to the main area by the sealed door again, and find that the barrier has dissipated.  Dorian and Tenebris join us a moment later. 

“It seems we are ready, then?” Declan asks, putting hand on the giant doors.

“Indeed,” Morrigan agrees.

Delcan pushes open the doors, carved in a relief of swirling vines and patterns.  The door opens into a wide, clean chamber. This part of the temple has been more maintained, perhaps by spells.  The walls are intact, and very little dust has been allowed to gather.

“‘Tis not what I expected,” Morrigan mutters.  

“We’re being watched,” Declan states, just as elves step out of the darkness in all directions.  They hold their weapons at the ready trained on us. I turn in a circle, and see that they have us surrounded.

On the upper walkway stands the elf from before, the one who had confronted Corypheus at the bridge.  He wears a hood up close to his face.

“You are unlike the other invaders.  You bear the mark of magic that is...familiar,” he states, looking closer at Declan and the glow of the anchor.  “What is…”

He trails off as I walk forward.

“Aneth ara, Abelas,” I greet him, with a small bow of my head.  “It has been many years.”

He bows.  “Destroyer, friend of Mythal, I had not thought to see you in this place.  What is your connection to the others that trespass here?”

“We seek to keep the Well of Sorrows from the invaders you spoke of.”

Morrigan whispers something to Declan, and I cut my eyes to him, questioning.

“It appears your companions do not share the same respect for our sanctum.  I know what they seek; they would drink from the Vir’Abelasan.”

“Is that true?  You wish the Well’s power?”  I ask Declan. “The plan was just to keep it from Corypheus.”

Uncertainly crosses the Inquisitor’s eyes, and I look to Tenebris.  He frowns. “I’m not certain Corypheus will stop trying, Sister. Perhaps it is better if we allow someone to use the Well.”

Abelas’s voice increases in volume.  “Our duty is clear. The Vir’Abelasan shall not be usurped, even if it means I must destroy it!”  He turns and runs through a nearby doorway.

“No!” Morrigan cries, a cloud of smoke enveloping her, and a crow flies forwards from where she stood.  The bird is gone in an instant, disappearing through the doorway before I can even react.

“Shit,” Varric grunts, as the elves set in on us, and the fight begins.

Tenebris scrapes his hand along a sharp corner of the crystal on his staff, allowing the blood to flow.  A wave of force magic courses through the room, and the elves are propelled back. I hear Bianca fire behind me, and see the corresponding elf be pinned to the wall.

A sick feeling enters the pit of my stomach as I raise my staff.   _ I’m so sorry. _

“Dorian, Static Cage,” I instruct, as he raises his staff, aiming in the same place as mine.

The ball of lightning forms high in the air, growing in strength from our combined magic.  I hold back on my power, choosing to keep the spell selective, striking only our opponents.  The lightning arcs, hitting each in turn.  They twitch and collapse, lining the room.

I sigh, squatting next to the one closest to me.  Dead.  I look up, and glare at Declan. “You’re being stupid.  You are listening to  _ her, _ Declan.  Mythal was  _ my friend; _ trust me when I tell you that you don’t want what the Well offers.”

Declan looks down, his brow furrowed.  “I know this isn’t the best timing, Ferox, but if you can’t help us in the fight against Corypheus, then I need another way to stop him.  If the Well can offer that, then it’s worth it.”

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.  I clench my fist, feeling the anger rise within me.  Toth takes notice and shifts. Tenebris puts a steadying hand on my shoulder, and I shake it off.

“No, Brother.  What if it had been  _ your _ temple that they wanted to defile?”

“I would let them have it if it would save the world,” he says his voice steady.  He looks back at Dorian. “If we don’t succeed, then it is likely that all of this will be gone, too.”

I think on that, and my shoulders slump, realizing he is right.  There is no saving this place, not as it is.  I sigh. “Okay, Inquisitor, if you want this, then so be it, but you should know what you’re getting into.  The price of the Well is to be bound to Mythal’s service for all eternity. That’s not something to be taken lightly.  For all we know, Mythal may have joined Fen’Harel already. We could be handing the Inquisitor and the mark over to the other side.”

Declan blanches, apparently not having considered that.  “We still need to get there,” he states.

I watch as the others enter the next room, Varric and I falling behind the others.  He waits until I start moving before walking next to me.

I give him a grateful smile.  “Thanks,” I whisper. “I needed a minute to collect myself after that.”

“I don’t really get this magic stuff, you know that, but I can’t imagine I’d take well to someone going through my friend’s stuff.”

That makes me chuckle.  “It’s the collective knowledge of a group of ancient beings, and you make it sound like they’re stealing her knickers.”

“Mythal’s knickers!” he exclaims.  “Sorry, I really need to get some new curse words.”

“Flippant sarcasm in the wake of danger - that’s why I love you,” I tell him, shrugging my shoulders.  “Oddly enough, it does help me feel better, though. I appreciate you bringing me back from the cold. Normally, I’d have been like that for days before coming out of it.”

“I think I’m getting use to it; your moods that is - let’s just hope this is worth it.”

“Yeah, I don’t relish the idea of being around Corypheus again...now that I know what could happen.  It was bad enough with just Toth threatening to take over.”

“No more putting yourself in danger.”

I nod.  “I won’t,” I agree, “at least with Corypheus, that is.”

We both go silent as we reach the top of a giant staircase leading down to a lower level.  I see Samson from here, and hear the sound of our team’s footsteps on the level below us. Varric and I give each other a look before running down the stairs.  I carry my staff with both hands, and I know Varric and Bianca are as ready as I am.

At the bottom, I see the last of a group of elven sentinels fall to the red templars.  _ No...more of them gone. _

Samson is congratulating them on their victory when Declan and my brother reach them.

“Inquisitor,” Samson utters.  “You’ve got a long damned reach.  You’ve hunted us half across Thedas.  I should have guessed you’d follow us into this hole.”

Declan steps forward.  “Corypheus is just using you. Can’t you see that?”

“He  _ chose _ me.  Twice.  First as his general, and now as the vessel for the Well of Sorrows.”  Samson closes his eyes and clenches his fist, and I watch as the red lyrium crystals on his armor glow with power.  He scoffs. “This is the strength that the Chantry tried to bind. But it’s a new world now, with a  _ new god.” _

“Your magister is no god,” Tenebris corrects, the disgust obvious in his voice.  “And power such as that can always be taken away.” He smiles, and looks to the Inquisitor.

Declan raises a rune unlike any I’ve ever seen before.   _ Is this what he and my brother were up to in my absence? _  He crushes it, and instantly, the light of Sampson’s armor fades.

“Kill them all!” Samson shouts, and we’re in the thick of a fight again.

A dark cloud emanates from Tenebris, and I see the impact on each of the templars.  Samson looks confused.

“Get ready, Varric,” I tell him, a grin on my face.

In a loud voice, I chant, “I call upon the ice and snow, to shield my friends and strike my foe.”  Cold magic, so close from embracing it before, follows the wave of weakness that Tenebris has already started.

But to my surprise, one of the red lyrium horrors casts a fire spell, sparing himself and a few of his surrounding templars from my ice spell.   _ Apparently they were watching at Adamant.  Clever. New tactics then. _

Varric and Declan go to work smashing through the section of frozen templars, and I look to Tenebris.  “Blood Wound,” I call to him, and see him chuckle.

I watch as my brother puts away his staff, slicing his hand again on the crystal.  He flings his hands outward, the dark tendrils reaching. He raises his hands above his head.

I cast a wall of fire to keep the others from reaching him.  Tenebris finishes his spell by closing both raised fists and pulling downward.  The templars scream in pain. My own small chuckle is drowned out by Tenebris’s rumble of laughter, relishing in the sheer giddy rush of power, taking in their strength.

The templars fall in unison, the clang of their armor satisfying a need I’d nearly forgotten.  Sweet vengeance. The entire conflict has taken no more than a few seconds.

Samson backs up, looking around him in confusion and staring at Tenebris and I.

“What kind of magic is this?  What are you?”

Declan smiles, looking at both of us.  “You’re standing in the presence of the  _ true _ gods, Samson.  Something Corypheus could never be with all his borrowed power.”

“Lies,” Samson spits.  “The throne of the gods was empty.”

“No,” I object, shaking my head. “We were there, alright.  He never reached the Black City.”

A moment of doubt crosses his features.

“Maddox sacrificed himself for you,” Declan says softly, pressing on Samson’s doubt.

He frowns and sighs.  “I told him not to.”

_ I don’t know who Maddox is, but apparently he was someone important to him. _  I stay silent, letting the Inquisitor handle this.  Declan certainly has learned better timing of his use of influence.

Declan speaks with him quietly for a few moments before announcing, “We’ll take him back to Skyhold for judgement.”

“How are we gonna get him there?  Oh, right,” Varric said, shaking his head as Tenebris takes hold of the templar and twists his ring.  A few seconds later, my brother reappears without the templar.

“I deposited him safely in the dungeons at Skyhold.”

“Thank you, Tenebris,” Declan states with a nod.  “We can question him when we get back. It’s funny, I almost feel sorry for the man.”

“Oh,  _ please _ tell me you put him with Erimond,” I comment.

Tenebris chuckles.  “Two men who thought they had power and influence from Corypheus, learning the truth of the Tevinter gods.  I’d pay to be a fly on that wall.”


	71. The Well of Sorrows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing has slowed, my apologies. I'm not abandoning Ferox and her dwarf, so don't worry. I'm just struggling with writing a certain character, and my muse is fighting me. I do have the ending in mind, and I will continue, but the releases may be a little slower in coming, as I've used up my chapter buffer :( See you all soon!

Chapter 71: The Well of Sorrows

 

“Abelas!” I shout. The elf runs forward, paying me no heed as a staircase appears under his feet and joins with the floor above.  Declan is already in motion, reaching the stairs before the rest of us. With our shorter legs, Varric and I are the last to the top.  

Morrigan stands before the Well.  It looks much as I remember it: wide and shallow with a low wall.  Abelas is glaring at her. I feel for his position, wanting to be able to protect the duty he was given by his goddess, but this won’t end well for him.

“So the sanctum is despoiled at last,” he says with a weary sigh.  “All that we knew will be lost.”

Morrigan glowers back at him.  “You would have destroyed it yourself, if you had the chance!”

“To keep it from your grasping fingers?  Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!”

“Stop, it, both of you!” I shout, silencing them both.  My expression softens as I turn to Abelas. “Old friend, think clearly on this.  Even if we walk away from the Well, those that follow us would not. There’s no way that this ends with the Well intact.  At least we would use this gift to create peace and set the world back right again.”

“Of them all, you are the only one who would be worthy,” he says, looking at me.  “Please, if anyone is to use the Well, let it be you, Destroyer.”

Declan looks at me.  “Ferox? I know you said we shouldn’t use it, but what if  _ you _ did?  Would it be any different?”

I shake my head.  “We’re not going to find out.  The price is to be bound to the will of Mythal for all eternity.  It’s too great a risk; neither of us should do it, Declan.” Abelas frowns but nods.

“I am willing to pay the price the Well demands,” Morrigan insists.  “I do not fear some ancient being that is in all likelihood, long dead.  I have seen nothing to convince me otherwise. I am also the best suited to use it in your service.”  She directs the last toward Declan, and I’m reminded of how I found them standing close to one another in the puzzle chamber.

“Morrigan, no.  I can’t let you do that,” I tell her.    _ Not when you don’t know the connection. _

“I am forever balked by those who believe they know better than I,” she spits out.  “Then who  _ shall _ drink, Destroyer, if you will not and I am to be denied?”

I look at Tenebris, who shakes his head.  Neither of us can do this. The geas might not work on us, but binding the will of one god to another - who might very well support Fen’Harel’s plan - is a bad idea.  

I look at the others.  Varric would never want this, nor would I ever give him to Mythal, no matter how desperate I got.  And I doubt my brother will allow Dorian to take the risk, either, even if he is willing. That leaves Declan or Morrigan.

“Morrigan, there are things you don’t know…” I hedge.

“And yet, it must be done.  I am ready,” she replies.

Tenebris explains, “Declan...if someone here is to do it, it must be either you or Morrigan.  But either carries great risk.”

“Then I will do it,” Declan says quietly.

“No, I-” Morrigan protests.

“It is decided, Morrigan,” Declan states flatly, walking toward the Well.

Abelas looks to me.  “You would support this human as worthy?”

Declan looks back  at me, and I meet his gaze.  “I would. He has shown great promise and love for his people.  He seeks to stand against those that would harm the people of this world, and a respect for those with knowledge that is beyond him.”

“High praise indeed, coming from you, Destroyer.  My duty here is fulfilled.” He leans on his staff for a second, his eyes scanning the room one last time, before exiting, his feet silent on the stone floor.

“ _ Ma serannas _ , Abelas,” I tell him as he reaches the doorway.   _ Thank you. _

_ “Direth shiral _ .  Perhaps one day, our paths will cross again.”  With a final bow, he disappears around the far wall.

Declan walks forward into the shallow pool, wades to the middle, and stoops to gather the water in his hands.  I watch, my curiosity engaged. Mythal always guarded her secrets, and I’m quite interested to see what the ancient elves know.

Bringing his cupped hands to his lips, Declan drinks deeply, and immediately a change comes over the water.  It begins to glow as though lit by magic underneath. I’m reminded of the Watcher’s Well, and I feel a pang of sorrow.   _ Lucis.  Wait, is this my feeling or his? _  I’ve been closed off from Lucis since I chose to leave, but this feels...more like his emotions rather than my own.  I can see the Watcher’s Well in my mind, destroyed, the pieces still scattered where they fell. My heart aches.

I think on it, but know better than to mention it to Tenebris.  I can almost hear Tenebris in my head, saying ‘that psychotic bastard deserves everything he gets after what he did’.  But really, I think Lucis was trying to protect me. No doubt he knew about Corypheus’s ability already, which is why he tried to warn me away from him.   _ But why couldn’t he just tell me?  I wanted to reach him so badly, to help him. _

Then I remember Lucis using his magic to keep me at home, unable to help Varric or the others and my anger rises anew, blocking off the feeling from my twin.   _ Good.   _ The walls of my resentment snap back into place, and I’m more at ease.  My shoulders relax, and I glance at Varric.

The glow of the Well of Sorrows intensifies, water evaporating into a thick mist, flowing into Declan, but all I see is the play of the blue light on my beloved dwarf’s face.  He’s sweating a little from today’s exertion and the heat of this place, and he’s in desperate need of a shave, but I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. His eyes shift over to meet mine, and he smiles.

Finally, Declan cries out, and we all turn to look again.  An explosion of power causes me to squint against the light, the magic washing over us like a wave.  When it dissipates, Declan is writhing on his back in the center of the Well, the water gone. He sits up, groaning and holding his head.

“How do you feel?” Morrigan asks him.

He’s slow to respond, tilting his head one direction, then other, lips slightly parted in concentration.  “Strange...it’s like I can hear whispers all around me, but it’s hard to make out what they’re saying.”

She frowns.  “You  _ should _ be hearing shouting from the heavens. I  _ told _ you I was a better choice!”  She shakes his shoulder and Declan allows it.  

I wonder again at their strange relationship.  Morrigan felt comfortable touching the Inquisitor, and he didn’t brush her off for it.  I shake my head, knowing it’s none of my business who Declan chooses to sleep with, but Morrigan certainly wouldn’t have been  _ my  _ first choice.

“Are you alright, Declan?” I ask, taking a step toward him.

He nods, and slowly gets to his feet.  “I think so,” he responds. 

His eyes focus on a point behind us and widen in surprise.  I turn to look to find Corypheus standing on the far balcony opposite us.  He spots us, and takes in the scene: the Inquisitor stepping out of the now-empty Well, and Tenebris and I standing next to him.  Corypheus howls in rage and hurtles himself over the railing, floating on a trailing cloud of...something. Something  _ dark. _

_ Shit! _  I feel the panic start to rise again, only to look down and see Varric holding my hand.  “Time to go, Firefly.” His grin lights me with courage, and I nod, looking at my ring.

“Through the eluvian!” Morrigan shouts.

The mirror behind the Well bursts into light, the surface rippling with magic it hasn’t seen in a millennia.   _ The Well _ , I realize.   _ The Well was the key to activating the eluvian. _

We run at full speed, Declan ushering Varric and I through the dippling surface.  Crossing through feels like having the breath stolen from my lungs and the soft, tickling drag of silk across my skin.  We hurtle forward into the strange landscape. Varric and I are standing on a raised stone platform with stairs, and quickly descend to make room for the others.

I hear them appearing behind us, and the magic ending.   _ No Corypheus.   _ I imagine his fury, and chuckle in amusement.  To my surprise, the sound echoes in this place.  I look around me again in wonder. The mirrors are everywhere, dark, or shattered.  Leafless trees dot the area, their pointed branches reaching for the sky like skeletal hands.

“Where are we?” Varric asks.

I shrug.  “I...have no idea, I’ve never been here before. More than that it feels...different.  This is not Thedas.”

“I call this place the Crossroads,” Morrigan explains, a smile threatening to form on her normally stern features.  “The place where all eluvians meet.”

Declan looks at me.  “You’ve never seen this place?” he asks.  “I’m surprised, I thought you would have seen everything, as old as you are.”

Tenebris catches his attention.  “We never had need of eluvians to travel.  This place is fascinating. It feels...like magic, but not like the Fade.”

“You mean you like it,” I point out.

“I think I do,” he answers truthfully.  “I should like to study it further, if there is time.”

“Let’s just return to Skyhold for now,” Declan decides.  “We can work out the next part of the plan later.”

“Warm meals and a soft bed,” Dorian sighs happily.  “Tell me I’m not dreaming.”

“Morrigan?” I ask, looking at her.  “You seem to know this place. I take it you know the way home?”

“Oh, now you wish for my opinion?” Morrigan grumbles, but after a look from Declan, she rolls her eyes.   “Yes, fine,” she acquiesces, leading the way through the myriad of eluvians.

She guides us to another mirror, no different than the others that surround it.  She mutters something under her breath and casts a hand out toward the glass. It responds, shimmering into life as the other had before it.  “Quickly,” she instructs.

Varric and I go first again, stepping through, and I feel the eerie pulling sensation on my skin.  The tiny hairs to stand upright, causing me to shiver.

“Glad to know it’s not just me,” Varric comments, seeing my reaction.  “Your magic isn’t anything like that. Your travel ring just feels like the room shifts around us.  That felt like walking through slimy spiderwebs.”

“Ugh don’t remind me.  I’m pretty sure I saw a few  _ real _ spiders in that temple.  Big ones.”

The others walk through behind us, and with a wave of Morrigan’s hand the mirrors surface dims again.  This room is long and narrow, and a bit crowded with the six of us. It feels strange being back here when the bulk of our people are still back in the Arbor Wilds.  It will take them some time to get back.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m famished,” Dorian comments.  “I think we should get something to eat and rest after that little adventure.”

Declan nods, and I can tell he’s not focused.  I walk over next to him.

“Come on, Declan, let’s get you to the table,” I instruct him, pulling on his arm.  “Varric and Tenebris will go tell the kitchen that we’re back, and have them put something together for you.”

I look to them, and they nod, taking off in that direction

“Thanks, Ferox,” Declan mutters, accepting my guidance.  I wonder what he’s going through. He’d mentioned hearing whispers before.  That has to be a little disorienting, at the very least.

“I need to check on Kieran,” Morrigan states.  “I am sure I will see you later, Inquisitor.”

_ I’ll just bet you will. _  I want to trust Morrigan, as I’m grateful to her for Urthemiel, but something about her interest in Declan is rubbing me the wrong way.

After everything that happened, I should feel drained, should be wanting to sleep, but I find myself excited, instead.  We’d fought our way through the enemy’s ranks, and beat Corypheus to his prize. We kept him from getting the two things in Mythal’s temple that could have let him get to us.   _ Well, make that three - I got away from him, too. _

I lead Declan through the lower portion of the keep, with Dorian trailing behind.  It’s nearly deserted, as anyone who could fight went to the front. Those that remained here were the non-essential non-combatants.  It’s a little eerie, the silence, but it’s nice not to have to deal with so many people. I think of Vivienne in particular, and decide that I’m going to have dinner at Declan’s table tonight, since I know she won’t be there to ruin it for me.

I pull the chair out for him and he sits, letting me push it in as he does so; but then frowns at me.

“I should be the one getting your chair for you, Ferox.  You’re my guest,” he says, trying to stand up.

“Just sit, Declan, it’s okay.  You’ve been through a lot today.  This is just dinner with family,” I tell him, but look over at Dorian, who smiles at me.

“That’s right.  I’ll go make a suggestion on the wine,” Dorian responds, winking at me.  He knows how much I hate the usual stuff.

Dorian gets up from the table, leaving me sitting alone in the large hall with Declan.  I smile at him, and pat his hand reassuringly.

“Are the voices still bothering you?” I ask.

“Yes.  I’ve been trying to listen to them, but it’s like trying to catch smoke.”  He rests his head on his hand. “Sorry if I’m not myself.”

“I meant what I said earlier, Declan.  You don’t have to be the Inquisitor right now.  This is just a family dinner.”

He smiles, his handsome features softening.  “I forgot how nice it is just to relax with friends.  I feel like I’ve been running without stopping for months.”

“I have an idea...if you’ll permit it?” I suggest hesitantly, raising my hand, and grabbing my staff to indicate I plan to do magic.

“Of course.  You trusted me with the Well, how could I do any less?”

I chuckle as I stand and move behind him. I allow a bit of healing magic to flow into him, easing his sore muscles before setting the staff aside.  I create the warming barrier around my hands and rest them on his shoulders, allowing the warmth to spread over the surface of his skin, the tension easing from him.

“What is that?”

“Fire magic,” I answer.

“Is that safe?” he asks, alarmed, turning in his chair to look at me.

“This is just simple stuff,” I tell him, removing my hands.  “But Toth has been good lately. Varric helps.”

Declan looks off toward the kitchen, where Varric and my brother had gone to talk with the cooks.  

“You two are lucky to have found one another,” he says.

“Yeah, it only took me thirteen hundred years to find someone like him,” I joke, but it’s true.  My own previous relationships were short-lived affairs that burned out as quickly as they started.  I realize now that they were just infatuations...now that I know what real love is.

“Treasure the time you have together,” Declan advises.

“Oh, I plan on it, but what about you?  I saw the way you and Morrigan were looking at each other; you can’t tell me there’s not something there.”

Declan runs a hand through his long auburn hair.  “She’s a confusing woman. Quite frankly, every time I think I figure out what she’s thinking, she changes on me.”

“That sounds like her,” I reply, returning to my seat.  “I don’t really have any advice, but for what it’s worth, I just want to see you happy.  Whatever that looks like.”

Declan smiles, and nods.

Varric and Tenebris return then, notifying us the cooks will bring out a simple meal in a few minutes.  Dorian isn’t long after them, bringing a bottle of - stars bless him - excellent wine, and we pour a glass each.

“To family,” Dorian says, looking around the table at the rest of us.

“To family,” we all respond in unison.

Before the glasses touch our lips, Morrigan bursts into the room, eyes wide, seeking out Declan.  

“Inquisitor, I need your help!  It’s Kieran, he’s gone through the eluvian!”


	72. Mythal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morrigan and the others follow Kieran through the eluvian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seemed to take forever...why is Mythal so hard to write? I'm admittedly a little nervous about how I've written her, but I think it's as good as it's getting, LOL. Enjoy!

Chapter 72: Mythal

 

“I suppose this means dinner will have to wait,” Dorian grumbles, getting back up from the table.  He quickly downs the glass of wine before grabbing his staff, which rests against the table next to him.

“Lead the way,” Declan tells Morrigan, and we follow her back down the hallway and into the narrow room with the eluvian.

The shimmering surface of the mirror is alive with magic again, and I know what to expect.  “More slimy spiderwebs. Great,” I mutter. “Varric, I’ll understand if you want to sit this one out.”

“And leave you to Maker-knows...uh, who knows what?  Nah, Firefly, I think I’ll take my chances with the spiders.”  

“It will be a chance to see that place again, study it,” Tenebris adds.  “We’re all going.” He looks at Dorian, who sighs, but nods.   


“If we must,” Dorian concedes.

One after another we file through the ancient frame and into the land beyond.  The shadowy landscape is, initially, much the same as it had been on our last visit: the same spindly trees with their naked branches, and the same stone walkways beneath our feet. Something feels different though.  A dark, grayish-violet mist clings to the ground and smells of damp earth and decaying leaves. I frown. There is definitely a power here, more than just the boy.

When we round the next bend, my suspicion is confirmed.  Kieran stands before a woman dressed in elaborate red leather.  A glowing mote of blue energy drifts between the two of them. I’d know that woman anywhere, regardless of what face she was wearing.  The energy enters Kieran, just as we are noticed.

“Mother,” Kieran states, turning toward us and seeming happy to see Morrigan.

Morrigan glares at the other woman.  “Mother,” she spits out.

_ “Mother? _  Is this some kind of family reunion?” Declan asks, looking between the two of them.

“Yes, mother, daughter, and grandson,” the woman replies with a chuckle.  “Doesn’t it warm the heart?”

“Kieran is not your grandson!” Morrigan protests.  “I know what you plan, and you will not have me, or my son!”  Magic begins to form in Morrigan’s outstretched palms.

“She always was ungrateful,” the woman comments, then looks at Declan.  “Be a good lad, would you, and restrain her?”

Declan’s wrists glow with green magic, and he stares at them, horrified, as he moves involuntarily toward Morrigan, grabbing her arms and pinning them behind her.

“What do you think you are…?”  Morrigan stills, looking at the woman.  “Then  _ you... _ are Mythal?” she questions softly.

“Hello friend,” I comment, stepping forward, and see the surprise register in Mythal’s features.

“Ah, a face I have not seen in ages.  I thought you long gone from this place,” Mythal comments.  “And the Darkness has creeped in, as well, I see.”

Tenebris just shrugs.

“Ah,” Mythal continues, “but what use are light and dark, when the world lies gray in the gloom of the coming storm?”

“We were gone, for a time,” I answer, studying the face of the woman who carries the spirit of my friend.  “You look different.”

She laughs, the sound like gravel tumbling over rock.  “And you do not.”

“You knew this before,” Morrigan realizes, her eyes narrowing at me.  “This is what you mentioned, the knowledge I did not have.”

“I’m missing something,” Declan states.  “This is Mythal...and also Morrigan’s mother?”

Mythal smiles.  “Once, I was but a woman, calling out in the lonely darkness, and she came to me - a wisp of an ancient being.  She granted me all that I wanted...and more. I have carried Mythal through the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her.  I have had many names, but you may call me Flemeth.”

“The short version is yes,” I explain.

“Flemeth...I know that story,” Varric comments from behind me.  “Supposedly she ran off from her husband to be with her lover, but then her husband betrayed her, imprisoning her, until a spirit came to her, and…” he trails off, staring at her.

“Yes, I see that you are understanding.”  Flemeth inclines her head.

“But why are you here, then?” Morrigan asks, shrugging off Declan’s now-slack grip.

“I came for one thing...one thing only.”

“No, I will not allow it!” Morrigan hisses, scowling at Flemeth and brandishing her staff.  “Not Kieran.”

“She wants the boy?” Dorian asks, turning to Morrigan.  “Why?”

“Flemeth extends her lifespan by possessing the bodies of her children.  ‘Tis what she planned for me, and why I left. She wants to use him.”

“Did you not  _ also _ wish to use him?” Mythal points out.  “How quickly you forget, it is  _ I _ who taught you to respect and preserve the old ways.  You knew it will enough when you agreed to his creation.”

Morrigan’s ire abates, her brows pulling together.  “Yes, but now he is...my son.”

“A child you would not even have had you not followed my teachings,” Flemeth retorts, walking a few paces away.  “You are not as different from me as you wish to believe. You sent your Warden friend to kill me to ensure that you would have the power for yourself.”

“If only ‘twere so easy to rid myself of you.”

Flemeth’s features remain calm.  “I offer you a proposal. Let me have the lad,” she says, looking over at Kieran.  “He carries a piece of what once was. If you give him to me, I will leave and never trouble you again.  Or,” she continues, her voice more ominous, “take the boy with you, but you will never be safe from me.”

“What is it you think you’re doing?!” I demand, frowning.  “Urthemiel is not yours to claim!”

“Oho! The Destroyer still has fire in her yet.   _ Fire, _ yes, I know what you carry as well, Ferox, and what it cost you.”

I place a hand over my chest, feeling Toth flutter.  “I did what I did to save her, but I was wrong, I shouldn’t have.  Toth is...still tainted.”

“So your failure should dictate what I can and cannot dare?” Flemeth asks, raising her chin in a proud gesture, mocking me.

“Why not just reveal yourself?” Declan asks.

“And to whom shall I reveal myself?” Flemeth asks, a smirk pulling at her lip.

“The elves,” he answers, shrugging, “everyone.”

“Men,” she scoffs.  “I knew the hearts of men even before she found me...it’s  _ why _ she found me.”  She sighs. “I am but a shadow, lingering in the sun.  But alas, so long as the song plays, we dance.”

I frown, considering her words.

“What is your meaning?” Tenebris asks directly.

“Meaning?  Meaning is found where you least expect it, so expect great things.”  Flemeth chuckles to herself.

“Cryptic as ever, Mythal,” Tenebris grumbles with a roll of his eyes.  “You did always like the melodrama. I have no idea how you and Ferox ever became friends.”

“Dragons,” I answer simply, before turning back to face my old friend.  “Mythal, answer me this: are you with Fen’Harel or will you help us stop Corypheus?” I ask.

Mythal smiles enigmatically.  “You,” she says, looking at Declan.  “What do the voices tell you about Corypheus and his dragon?”

Declan’s eyes go unfocused, and I can tell he’s listening to the voices again.  His brow furrows in concentration. Finally, his eyes shift upward to look at Flemeth.

“Corypheus’s dragon contains a bit of himself.  If we manage to kill it, we can stop him from changing bodies, at least for a time.”

I exhale a relieved breath.

“That is excellent news,” Dorian comments.  “It means Dragon Girl can be of use again without worrying.”

I smile at him.  “I’m always useful, Tevinter.”

“Except for that one time-” Tenebris contradicts me.

“Nope, even then,” I insist.  “Unless you want me to tell Dorian about the cave.”

“You seem to have forgotten, it doesn’t go that way, imp.”

“So how do we kill the dragon?” Declan asks, cutting off the conversation between my brother and me.

“Another dragon waits for you,” Flemeth explains.  “It is not far from my altar in the Arbor Wilds - the Destroyer knows where.  Defeat it in combat, and it will agree to help you against the dragon Corypheus keeps.”

“You bound a dragon?” My voice raises.  “They don’t belong to you, Mythal.”

“The dragon made a choice, as we all must.”  Flemeth glances again at Morrigan, a pained expression crossing her wizened features.

I realize Kieran is still at Mythal’s side.  A glance at Morrigan tells me that it hasn’t escaped her notice, either.

“Let him go,” Morrigan orders.  “Or possess me. He would be better off without me, anyway, as I was better off without you.”

Flemeth pauses again, as though waiting for something, but nods, facing Kieran again.  The blue mote I had seen before emerges from Kieran’s body and enters her own once more.

“No more dreams?” the boy questions.

“No more dreams,” Flemeth confirms.

Kieran walks to Morrigan, who wraps a protective arm around him.  She watches Flemeth with wary eyes.

Flemeth shakes her head.  “A soul is never forced upon the unwilling, Daughter.”  She turns. “You were never in danger from me.” Flemeth walks away, the gray-purple mist rising to meet her, and she’s gone.

I look to Morrigan.  “Is he alright?” I ask.

Her eyes flick up to mine.  “He is fine,” she snaps. “Let us be done with this place.”  The last is directed at Declan of course, who winces.

I feel a little sorry for him.  He’s probably feeling guilty for following Mythal’s orders to hold her.   _ Maybe I should have told them about Mythal...but would it have helped?  Someone still needed to drink from the Well of Sorrows, to keep it from Corypheus. _

I wonder what this means for them.  Declan is now bound to the service of Mythal, for good or ill.  Mythal hadn’t answered me about whether she was allied with Fen’Harel or not, I hadn’t missed that.  But, she helped us, gave us a clue that could help against Corypheus. Perhaps with her help, we can succeed and everything will turn out alright.  Watching Declan as he attempts to soothe Morrigan, I hope for their sakes that it’s the truth.

We return through the eluvian, and Morrigan takes Kieran to his room.  The rest of us go back to the dining hall to eat our dinner. It isn’t much, as the kitchen wasn’t prepared to serve dinner at such an hour, but the wine bottle is empty by the time we finish, and it feels nice to have a full stomach, for once.

“When do you want to go see about this dragon?” I ask Declan.  “Tenebris and I have full charges on our rings. Depending on how many we take, we could also stop in to notify the troops of what happened.”

“We have time,” he answers.  “The others will not be back for weeks yet.  I say we rest a day or two. If we’re going to be battling dragons, I want us to be at our best.”

Dorian sighs happily.  “Two days of rest? I, for one, plan to get started on that immediately.”  He stands up from the table, as does my brother. 

“I will retire as well.  Goodnight, Inquisitor,” Tenebris says, giving a small bow.  I watch them leave together, seemingly headed in different directions, but I have a feeling neither of them will be alone tonight.  

Once they’ve left, I turn back to Declan.  

“You might not have to fight the dragon,” I point out.  “You have me. It must at least be a high dragon to understand Mythal’s commands, and it has clearly served her for some time, so it might be older.  Perhaps it will listen.”

He smiles.  “We’ll talk tomorrow, start working on our plans.”

“Yeah,” Varric interjects, pushing his chair back from the table.  “I’m beat. See you tomorrow, Your Inquisitorialness.”

“Goodnight, you two.  Thank you for your help today.”

“Are you sure you’re alright to go back on your own?” I ask Declan.

He nods.  “I’m feeling better now that we have a direction.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding.  “Then I should see that this dwarf gets his beauty rest.”  I chuckle at my own joke.

Varric fakes a dramatic sigh.  “What can I say? It’s a curse.”

He takes my hand and we leave the main hall, heading toward what used to be Solas’s quarters.  Varric, noting that I’ve paused at the bottom of the stairs, waits as well and follows me into the room.  I take in the murals Solas painted during his time here, as though seeing them for the first time. So much symbolism here, and meaning, if one knew his secret.  I wonder what he’s thinking now.  _ Probably gloating about his plan. _  But, when I think about it, he stayed as Solas for a long time.  I suppose he was hoping to use the Inquisitor to get his artifact back.  In a way, we are still following Solas’s plan.

“No matter what, we can’t let Solas get his orb back,” I mutter.

“They have two gods from Tevinter working with advice from an elf,  _ we _ have two gods from Tevinter working with advice from an elf,” he comments.  “They’ve got Corypheus, we’ve got an Inquisitor. But we have an advantage that they don’t.  We have Bianca.”

I look at him and laugh.  “You’re totally right, Varric.  Bianca will see us through.”

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I follow him up the stairs to our room.  We’re both so exhausted, it takes all of our effort to throw down our things and get undressed.  We crawl between the covers and he turns to face me. He says nothing, but looks into my eyes for several seconds before leaning in to plant a kiss on my forehead.  He strokes a hand over my hair and I smile. Moments like this one are worth everything.


	73. Greater Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor leads his team after Mythal's dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay, there have been quite a few personal factors playing into this, but I promise I haven't abandoned this story. The ending is firmly in my head. Now, to just get the rest of it down! LOL. Thanks for continuing to read.

Chapter 73: Greater Risks

 

I’m the last to emerge from the eluvian a couple of days later, and the fluttering in my chest begins anew as I step into the heat and humidity of the Arbor Wilds and consider what we’re walking into.  Mythal managed to enthrall a dragon, or worse,  _ convinced _ it to join her.  I have no idea what to expect from this encounter, or even what kind of dragon we’re looking for.  I follow a short distance behind Varric, keeping my staff at the ready, and my eyes open.

“Where do we look for this dragon, Ferox?” Declan asks from the front of our group, looking back at me.

“She said near her altar; that’s south of here, but the dragon could be anywhere,” I explain.  “Stay alert.”

The Inquisitor nods, holding his sword in his hand.  It seems natural to see him carrying it, but I search my memory, and realize that Declan has mostly let others do the bulk of the fighting, preferring to lead from the back, handling the rifts, instead of engaging the enemy directly.  The green glow of the Anchor shimmers even now around the hilt of his longsword, and I’m struck with the figure he paints: Bold, handsome, intelligent, but willing to listen to his supports. Declan is the kind of leader that inspires others.

I think back to when I lived among the humans myself, years ago.  They’d followed me, sure, but mostly because they feared my temper and the resulting weather patterns; not out of love and respect the way the people look up to Declan.   _ Would things have gone differently if I’d been more willing to listen?   _

My eyes instinctively shift to follow the back of Varric’s head.  His hair is partially pulled back from his face as always, and his gold earrings shine in the bright light of the forest clearing.  He’s watching the surrounding trees, the same as I had been, Bianca held in his arms at the ready. Varric, in his way, leads from the back as well, although his means are a lot more subtle than Declan’s.  Varric has a way of putting people right in the path of opportunity. How much of that is intentional, and how much is purely luck I have no idea, but I’m grateful for the day I ran into him -  _ literally _ , I remind myself, recalling how I’d stumbled face-first into him at Skyhold.

The Arbor Wilds look much the same as when we left, a tangled web of vibrant greens.  We walk for a time, and I appreciate the warmth of this place. A colorful bird alights on a nearby tree, crying out its solitary song.  I understand why Mythal liked it here. Finally, we reach the altar itself, without seeing any sign of the dragon that has become her servant.

“Just like Mythal,” my brother adds from where he stands with Dorian.  “Sending us on a wild goose chase with her vague wording and riddles.”

I frown.  “No, I don’t think this is a riddle, really.”  I walk closer to the altar, examining it. “I think it’s here.”

Understand dawns in his eyes.  “We have to summon it.”

I nod.  “Appears that way.

Declan walks closer, reaching out a hand to touch the altar.  A soft smile blossoms on his face, and I know he’s listening to the voices from the Well of Sorrows again.  “We few who travel far, call to me, and I will come - without mercy, without fear.” 

Declan sighs, and turns to me.  “I’ll do the summoning. But if it doesn’t listen to you, Ferox, I want everyone - including you - to back off.”

“You plan to take on a dragon all by yourself?” Morrigan chokes out, her pretty features pulling into a scowl.  “If you wish your life to end, Inquisitor, there are far easier means to accomplish such.” The biting tone to her voice conveys more than she means to:  Morrigan is worried about Delcan.

He nods.  “Mythal said I had to be the one to master it for it to follow me.  So that’s what I intend to do.”

Varric looks at me. “Firefly?”

I frown, and say a little quieter,  “He said to back off _ if _ it comes to it.  I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t.”

“Alright,” Varric sighs, but doesn’t look reassured.   _ Probably because I’m not, either. _

Declan continues mumbling under his breath, and I hear the flap of giant dragon wings.  My attention is pulled to the top of the trees as the dragon soars into view.  _ Fire dragon.  Because  _ of course _ , it would be.  Great. _

“Fire dragon!” I shout, and move away from the others to prepare myself.

I send a silent warning to Toth to remain calm and pull on the fire within.  Flames shoot up from the ground, surrounding me in a wash of orange and red, before settling over my body like a second skin.  I take a deep breath.  _ Stay calm, you can do this.  This isn’t going to be like The Hissing Wastes. _  My confidence is shaken the moment the beast crashes to the ground in front of us.

“Shit!” Tenebris curses, mirroring my sentiment.  “That’s not a high dragon, that’s an Ancient!”

Panic registers on a few of the faces in our group, but I hold my position.   _ Mythal enthralled an Ancient?! _  My fury burns like the flames covering my body, driving them higher, and I feel a corresponding pulse from Toth.   _ Friend or no, she’ll pay for this. _  I narrow my eyes, taking a wide stance in front of the massive beast.

“Hold, dragon!” I shout.  “I am Ferox the Destroyer, and I would speak with you!” I try to keep my words polite, despite the anger simmering under the surface.

It isn’t the biggest dragon I’ve seen, but it’s body is thickly muscled, and flames flicker through its skin like hot coals in a steady breeze.   _ This is a formidable opponent.  I can’t let Declan fight it alone.  _

The dragon looks at me calmly, intelligence shining in its dark eyes, seemingly unaffected by my announcement.   **“I know of you, Stormbringer, but this does not concern you.”**

“I think I liked it better when I couldn’t understand them,” Varric grumbles from off to the side.

**“The human has invoked the covenant.  Not you.”**  The dragon walks past me toward Declan, dismissing my presence, and I’m left gaping at its insolence.   _ Screw leading from the back! _

“You  _ will _ listen!” I yell, moving, raising my staff and drawing on my magic, with every intent to crash it down to the ground, creating a magical burst...but it never makes it.  I look over to see Declan holding my staff in his hand, shaking his head.

“Don’t,” is all he says, his eyes steady as he speaks.

“Declan no, not this time.  That’s an Ancient, you don’t stand a-”

“This is  _ my _ fight,” he insists, cutting me off.  “It’s time - once and for all - for me to prove myself worthy of the name Trevelyan.”  His smile is gentle, unafraid, and the flames around me immediately extinguish.

**“Then you will honor the covenant?”** the dragon’s voice booms, deep in my head, like a growling.  I know the dragon is talking to Declan, not me, and at his nod, my shoulders sag.  His agreement means that any interference from me would break the covenant, and it wouldn’t help us.   _ Shit. _

Varric is there, pulling my shoulder.  I look at him, and see the same concern that I’m sure is evident on my face.  “Come on Firefly, let’s give the Inquisitor room.”

I catch a glimpse of Morrigan having a few furtive words with Declan, frowning and gesturing with her hands.   _ Clearly Morrigan isn’t happy with this decision either. _  I wonder at her reaction.  Before, I would have sworn Morrigan was only getting close with the Inquisitor to forward her own agenda, but is it possible she really has genuine feelings?

But, as with me, Morrigan understands the nature of the agreement.  We’ll lose the assistance of Mythal’s dragon if we step in.  _ Time to shine, Inquisitor. _  I sigh, allowing Varric to lead me to the edge of the clearing.

I grumble, “If he dies, Mythal will die by my hand.”

Morrigan raised her eyebrows, saying nothing, but a hint of a smile creeps into her features.

I smile back at her, and cut my eyes back to Declan, wishing him luck: both with the fight with the dragon, and the fearsome woman in front of me.  

Declan takes his stance, holding his sword at the ready.  His armored coat will offer some protection if he’s hit, but it doesn’t cover his whole body.  The dragon circles him, tail flicking.

**“Let us begin,”** it says with a chuckle.

A blast of fire flies from its mouth, aimed directly for Declan.  I feel Varric’s hand tighten on mine, and I hold my breath, watching in anticipation.  But, in a move of extraordinary athleticism, Declan leaps out of the way, rolling and hopping to his feet, still brandishing his sword.

Declan dashes in, slashing at the large legs in front of him, dodging a swipe from its back claws in the process.  The dragon howls in reaction, clearly having not expected this one puny human, who doesn’t even carry a shield, to be able to hit him.  I can’t help the hopeful smile that blossoms on my face, and I find myself leaning forward in fascination, watching the dance of these two creatures.

Again and again they circle each other, taking swipes at each other, but after only a few moments, I can tell that the dragon is holding back.   _ What is it up to? _  It hasn’t used magic at all, sticking to it’s flame attacks or claws.  I don’t have long to wonder long, as I see the glow of magic building, illuminating the spaces between scales - and I realize I know this kind of magic. Dread fills me.

“No!” I cry, wanting to run to Declan immediately, but Varric’s hand holds me back, and Tenebris steps in my path.

The spell narrowly misses Declan, and I exhale the pent-up breath, and turn to glare at my brother.

“Tenebris that was-”

“I know, but it’s his choice.”

“I really need to start traveling with fewer mages,” Varric remarks.  “What did I miss this time?”

Dorian is the one who answers.  “The dragon is using necromancy...death magic.”

“I take it that’s bad,” Varric responds.  “I mean, it sounds bad.”

I nod.  “It should have the ability to draw the very life out its opponent…” I look to Tenebris.  “Why isn’t it using it?”

Tenebris smiles.  “You mean ‘Dragon Girl’ hasn’t figured out what’s going on, yet?  Watch, Sister.”

I turn my eyes back to the fight, curious to see what my brother meant.  The dragon’s movements are rough, hopping around much the way that Miracle had on top of the ruins in the Black Fens.  I frown.  _ That’s juvenile, behavior, playful. _  My eyes widen as it hits me:  _ it’s not fighting seriously.  For all it’s bluster about “the covenant”, it’s just playing. _

My shoulders relax and a small chuckle escapes me.  “It’s not trying to kill him,” I comment softly. “It’s just putting on a good show.”

Varric finally lets go of my hand at my brother’s nod, and the rest of us finish watching the fight to its conclusion.  It ends in a matter of minutes, with the dragon conceding.

“ **You have proven your worth.  Call for me, and will come to your aid, once,”** the dragon announces.

Declan, breathing heavy, and bleeding from several shallow gouges, nods, keeping his eyes on the beast.

I see my opportunity, and approach the massive beast.  “Wait, before you go, what is your name, dragon?” I ask, having a feeling I already know the answer.

**“Mortis.”** The massive wings flap, and I shield my eyes against the displaced debris as it rises and takes off once more.

As I suspected, Ancient Tevene for death.  Mythal, the goddess of creation, enslaved Death itself.

Morrigan sighs, moving to Declan’s side, and the blue glow of a healing spell illuminates his shoulder.  “It is done,” she comments. “We should return to Skyhold.”

“You go,” I tell them, and several sets of eyes turn my way.  “I have an idea.”

Declan, standing a bit straighter after the healing spell, looks at me with confusion.  “What now, Dragon Girl?”

I smile widely.  “I think I have a way to give us the upper hand against Corypheus - maybe even my brothers.”

“Do tell,” Dorian encourages, his amusement clear in his tone.

“I think it’s time I visit a few friends.  Varric, are you with me?”

“Shit,” he comments.  “I think I know what friends she means.”

“And I hear there are three more in Emprise du Leon,” I add, grinning.

Declan seems to catch on with our banter, nodding.  “Indeed, we will call upon all of our resources. Will will not fail!”  The Inquisitor’s smile is as wide as my own.

“Sister,” Tenebris begins.  “Will you need my assistance?”

“No,” I answer.  “But it will take a few days, as I’ll need to let my ring charge for the trip home.  You help coordinate our efforts with Declan and his people. Oh, and tell Tempestas I’ll be bringing company.”


	74. Recruiting

Chapter 74: Recruiting

 

“How do I let you talk me into this shit?!” Varric shouts in my ear, clinging tightly to my waist.

My only response is to let out a whoop of excitement, leaning down further over Serenade’s back as she races above the snow-covered rock formations of Emprise du Lion. The high dragon’s young ones are old enough now to fend for themselves, and she readily agreed to help us.  Miracle and Nimbus are already on their way to Skyhold. My dragon army is nearly complete; we just have a couple of more stops to make.

Varric grunts, and settles in closer, the touch of his chest against my back spreading an entirely different sort of warmth through me, but I push the thought aside.  There’s too much work to be done right now to worry about lovemaking.  _ Even though he’s quite good at it. _  I shush my inner beast and focus instead on where we’re going.  

“I know the camp is around here somewhere,” I yell over the sound of the rushing wind.  

Looking down, I see red lyrium continuing to spread and that sickened feeling returns.  Enormous crystalline clusters jut upwards, covering entire hillsides in some places. I think about how Lucis is encouraging this madness, and I’m suddenly glad Tenebris punched him.  I wish he were here so I could do the same myself right now.  _ How can he possibly believe he’s doing the right thing? _  It’s clear that even if Corypheus is stopped and the lyrium stops spreading, the land here won’t recover for a very long time.

“There!” Varric announces, pointing ahead to our left, and I convey the message to Serenade, who heads in that direction.

I chuckle a little to myself as the Inquisition soldiers scatter and reach for weapons as the dragon swoops down overhead.  One individual steps forward, however, and I’m impressed with his bravery.  _ That must be the one in charge...wait, I recognize him. _  It’s one of the guards from Suledin Keep.  He smiles in greeting.

“Dragon Girl, you gave us quite a scare!” he shouts as we land, a welcoming smile pinned to his face.

Varric and I dismount, with a little help  from Serenade, and I turn back to look up at the dragon.

“Thank you, Serenade,” I tell her in Draconic.  “You will find the others I told you about back at Skyhold.  Do you understand how to get there?”

“I do,” she answers with a dip of her massive head.

“Good.  We will conclude our business and join you there as soon as we can.”  I smile at her. “Together, victory is inevitable.”

“And then we will dance on the corpses of your enemies,” she responds.  Her lips pull back from her teeth in a motion that I almost want to describe as a smile.  I take a step back, bowing my own head in parting. With a few beats of her wings that send snow flying in all directions, Serenade lifts off the ground and heads back east.

When I turn back I find Varric already engaged in conversation with the man who had stepped forward earlier, and I approach them, catching part of their conversation.

“...and they’re all nesting,” the guard finishes explaining, and that one phrase makes my shoulders tense up.

“Wait, say that part again,” I instruct.

Varric looks over at me, his brow twitching the only indication of his worry.  “You heard him. Three. All nesting.”

_ Stars, why can’t anything ever be easy?   _ “No matter,” I say, trying to sound hopeful.  I take a deep breath. “I’ll convince them anyway.”

“‘Course you will.”  Varric flashes a grin at me and my heart catches.

The captain, however, doesn’t seem impressed with my confidence.  “We should send some of our men with you, but I don’t know how many I can spare.”

“We will go with you,” an Orlesian voice sounds, and I’m shocked to see Frederic of Serault standing in the snow, with the elven researcher, Minaeve, at his side.

I can’t keep the smile from my face as I greet both of them.  “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be with the troops, or back in Skyhold by now.”

“The same thing you are, I imagine,” Minaeve states, as though it were obvious.  “We came for the dragons.”

I look at her, then Frederic.  Evidently, Frederic had been successful in persuading Minaeve that live dragons are more valuable than dead specimen.

He continues, “I would not pass up the opportunity to observe nesting behavior by not just one, but three different species.”  I can hear the enthusiasm in his voice, even if I can’t see his face behind the mask. “It is a shame, though,” he continues, “I have not yet had another opportunity to practice my Draconic with a high dragon.”

“You shouldn’t try.  If these are nesting, then they’ll be more aggressive.  But you’ve seen them?” I clarify. “You said they were different species?”

“Just so, I have personally observed two of the three, at least: a Hivernal and a  Kaltenzhan, both cold types. We do know the last is a fire-breather, but I know not what species.  It flew over in ze night, but I could not get a good look at it.” As he finishes, he points to a section of the crumbling houses on the far side of the small settlement, now burned, still smoldering, with small wisps of smoke rising from the debris.

I glance over my shoulder to the sheer drop-off not far away, the gap spanned by a stone bridge.  There’s no sign of the dragons from this distance, but looking at the landscape, this could be difficult.  Steep hills and rocks create narrow corridors - a perfect funnel for a flame jet to blast through. Or, if we get trapped by the edge of the cliff, it will leave us with a decision of death by angry dragon, or by a long fall to the chasm floor below.  Either way, I am not looking forward to this.

“Well, only one way to find out,” I declare, and turn back to my companions.  “Captain, I don’t need many of your men. Either this goes well, and I bring us back three dragons, or…” I look at Varric, Frederic and Minaeve, “None of us are coming back at all, and you’ll need your men here to fight them when they eventually come.  Two or three ought to round out my team just fine.”

“Simmons,” the captain barks, looking to his right.  A young man with short blonde hair that couldn’t have been more than twenty snaps to attention.  “You’ll be going with Ferox and her team. Berran, you too.”

Berran is a bit older, with a dark beard, and his hair pulled back at the nape of his neck.  He’s handsome, and reminds me a little of Blackwall. I smile, and he returns a wary smile of his own.  I know he’s probably thinking he was just handed a suicide mission, but I’m going to do my best to see this man safely returned to camp.

Varric and I already have our provisions, but we watch as the others quickly grab what they need.  Varric says nothing, just runs a soothing hand over Bianca, a motion I’ve seen more times than I can count.  After a few minutes, our group assembles at the start of the bridge before heading east. When we get halfway across, I realize the canyon is larger than I had anticipated.  Looking down makes me a bit dizzy. 

I walk with my staff at the ready, and I’m surprised to see Minaeve carrying one as well.  I know she was an apprentice before the events at the Conclave, but I’ve never seen her perform magic before.  I fall back to talk to her.

Her pretty brows knit together as she sees me approaching.  “Yes, I’m carrying a staff,” she says defensively.

I smile.  “You never finished your Circle training, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“I could help you learn, you know.  I helped the other mages before, when they were training.”

“I don’t like using magic for fighting.  I’m not good at it, anyway,” Minaeve protests.

“Why are you carrying a staff, then?”

“Because it’s better than being without it.”

_ Fair enough, _ I think, and let the matter drop.  If she wants lessons, I’ve made it clear that the door is open.

As we near the far side, there is no roar of a dragon to greet us, no beating of wings warning us of an impending attack.  The area is silent...save for the awful hum from the red lyrium nearby.  _ No, wait, there is something. _  I listen harder, and hear a bubbling sound.   _ Hot springs? _  That would account for the high level of fog this side of the bridge.  Heated pockets might also explain why three adult dragons - usually in direct competition with each other - would settle in one place.

“Firefly,” Varric’s sound sounds, breaking my reverie as he comes to walk beside me.  “There’s something you’re not saying again. Cold dragons means cold magic, right?”

I turn to look at him, and I see the concern in his brow.  

He hesitates.  “When you did that back at Mythal’s temple...look, just tell me this is different, and we’re going to be laughing over ales when this is all over.”

I pause, allowing some of the others to pass so that we can have privacy to talk.  Once we’re a the back of the group, I give him my most reassuring smile and take a deep breath.  “I know I scared you back then, and I’m sorry,” I tell him. “But Corypheus isn’t here this time, so there’s no risk of him getting to me right now.  And if he shows up, you know where I’ll go first.”

“To Cinder in the Hissing Wastes,” he responds.

I nod.  “Right. I won’t go to the Black City.  I promise. For better or worse, my future lies with  _ you _ , Varric.” I reach out to take his hand, but the sound of someone clearing their throat draws my attention back to our companions and I miss his reaction.  I grasp Varric’s warm, strong hand anyway, and we walk hand-in-hand forward into the snowy area at the end of the bridge.

The path leads to an iron gate set in a stone doorway.  I peer ahead, and I can make out what looks like a arena on the hill in front of us, with white pillars rising proudly out of the rock, topped with arches in a repeating pattern.  It speaks of older times. I struggle to remember this part of the world, and what this arena might have once been used for, but I find I have no memory of this place. Perhaps it was after we left, and I had no reason to view it in the Watcher’s Well, or perhaps the snow and the red lyrium have changed the landscape so much that I no longer recognize it.  Either way, it remains impressive.

A screech sounds above, and over the top ledge of the arena I catch a glimpse of a scaly, blue-gray wing.   _ Dragon,  _ I nearly sing to myself, so happy to have located the first one.  I put a hand out to stop the others, pointing to the top ledge. We wait, and again, the wing appears, before moving out of view.

“Which one is it?” Berran asks from behind me, his voice deep and gravelly.

I hesitate, and Frederic speaks, instead.  “it’s the Hivernal, the smaller of the two cold dragons.  I would recognize the stocky build and coloring anywhere.”

Simmons looks to Berran for orders, and Berran looks at me.  “You, Dragon Girl, what’s our approach?”

I think for a moment before speaking.  “We need to know the layout up there. It’s best if I can observe for a minute.  We’ll approach quietly. It’s best if I go alone first, with the rest of you at the ready.”

The blonde solder, Simmons, hunches in obvious relief - a telltale sign of his inexperience.  Berran is more reserved, of course, but even his brow wrinkles in confusion. “Alone? Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Just let her work,” Varric comments with a smirk, and I immediately grin. His faith in me brings back the excitement of meeting more dragons again.  “They don’t call her Dragon Girl for nothing,” he adds.

The six of us creep up the stairs nearly silently, but we don’t really have to bother as the crashing noises from the dragon above cover any sounds we’re making - even with two soldiers in full armor.  It could be the dragon is already aware that we’re here, but I decide on caution as my best course of action, and, my heart hammering in my chest both with anticipation and apprehension, I lift my head above the threshold.  

I’m struck with how small she is compared to some of the others.  In general, fire dragons are the largest, and lightning dragons are the leanest and most nimble.  Cold dragons are smaller in size, but make up for it by being compact. This one is no exception, but she still seems smaller than others of her breed.  Dense muscles ripple under her deep blue scaly hide. The Hivernal spreads her powerful wings, over the far edge, as she had before, and I see the nest she is guarding, hidden under a rocky outcropping near the edge.  Then it hits me: there are no drakes. There should have been at least one in the area, if this dragon has eggs in that nest. Ordinarily there would be several, working together to guard her and the nest during this time.

I see her swivel her head my direction, and I duck back down into the stairwell.  I gesture for the others to descend a bit, and once out of earshot, I fill them in on what I saw.

“She’s alone, guarding her nest.  That means she has laid her eggs, but it makes no sense.  There are no drakes.”

Minaeve frowns.  “Usually when a nesting dragon is killed, there are also remains of drakes to be examined.  It is unusual.”

“Perhaps ‘zey are already dead?” Frederic comments.  “Nesting dragons can become aggressive, no?”

“Yeah,” I reply, “but I didn’t see any bodies either. Just the remains of prey animals.”  I think for a moment. “Maybe it’s the other dragons in close proximity, I don’t know. Anyway, I have an idea.”  I smile nod my head, and Varric groans.

“I’ve come to hate that expression, Firefly.”  He grunts. “What’s the plan?”

“With as desperate as she is, a fight is likely,” I admit.  “The problem will be getting me close enough. She’s pacing the far corner where the nest is.  I’m going to try to approach her calmly, but… just make sure Bianca is ready.”

Ignoring his resigned look and tightened grip on his beloved crossbow, as well as the apprehension on the faces of the others, I focus only on my own intentions.   _ Cold and ice.  Breathe in the frigid air, feel it bite your lungs.  Chill...stillness, the empty silence. _  When I open my eyes again, it’s with the steely reserve of the cold.  A fine mist floats around me, ice crystals catching the light as I ascend, and step out to face the dragon.


End file.
